Pinkie Pie's Lurve Eatery

Six months today! Has it really been six months? It’s hard for me to think of it being such a long time. I’m a born and raised Ponyvillian (which looks kinda like a goofy bad pony name from a comic book when you write it), and I’ve seen my fair share of the crazy. Hehe, I’ve even had my hoof in some of the wacky stuff this town’s had to go through. But what happened six months ago wasn’t just a silly loony event. Equestria was invaded, and poor, old Ponyville was destroyed in a mega-big battle. Lots of ponies and our new Changeling friends died trying to save everypony, and I think they did a pretty spectacular job. I’ll miss them.

But enough of all that sad, mopey-dopey stuff! It’s been six whole months, and we Ponyvillian’s are back on our right hooves. Everything’s been rebuilt better than ever, and everypony is starting to live life again. I couldn’t be happier unless I was singing a catchy new tune. Everypony’s got smiles on their faces again, which tells me that I’m doing my best job as the official Ponyville Party Planner. I think Gummy’s happy too, but he’s been giving me the cold shoulder lately for some reason. I still haven’t sat down to figure it out, mostly because sitting down is way too boring.

But even though everypony’s doing great, I’m not smiling because not everyone in Ponyville has that nice big grin I want to see. Queen Chrysalis was really nice to Princess Luna and Princess Celestia, wanting to help rebuild Ponyville and everything. And it was good luck that some of the Changelings wanted to stay to build the first Changeling town in Equestria! I was all for it, since it meant new-Changeling-Dashie would be able to stay with us, and I told the Queen and Princesses so. Twilight tried to explain to me later why they were sorta unsure at first, but I don’t remember everything she said. There were too many big words.

But anyway, they agreed, and I got to show all the Changelings that stayed how good cupcakes were. I couldn’t believe some of them didn’t even know there were such things as cupcakes! It was… it still is a travesty! Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night thinking about all of the poor Changelings back wherever it is they call home not knowing what a cupcake is. That’s when I have Spike send a letter the next morning to Princess Celestia about needing to send them some. She’s never gotten back to me for some reason, so I think I’ll have to go to Canterlot and tell her myself at some point.

Unfortunately, even with the glorious salvation of ponykind that is cupcakes, the Changelings that I see around town aren’t smiling like they’re happy. They aren’t frowning, which would really have me worried, but they sorta just living their lives without any real joy. And as Pinkie Pie, official Party Planner of Ponyville and Element of Laughter, it is my duty (sworn over a stack of fifty party invitations) to make anypony and everypony in Ponyville smile. And by the Balloon Party in Baltimare, I’m gonna see to it!

“Pffbblllltttt,” I sputter, my eyes half lidded. See, the problem is, I’ve run into a tiny issue. Nothing I can think of seems like it would work! And that’s a weird thing for me. Most of my ideas seem like they’ll work if I think about them for long enough. I look down at my notepad. Page after page of ideas all crossed out, x’ed out, and just plain old scribbled through. I toss it and the pen over my shoulder, realizing that at the moment, there’s nothing for it. Besides, I’m ‘on the clock’ as Mr. Cake likes to say; but I think I’ll just call it ‘working.’ It is what I’m doing after all.

I bend down behind Sugar Cube Corner’s front counter, taking a minute to admire my goofy-looking face warped by the glass, and begin counting what’s left of all the treats. It was a pretty tame rush this afternoon. I’m sure Mrs. Cake will want to keep some of the muffins out. They still look good. The cupcakes… eh, not so much. The icing doesn’t look so scrumdiliupmtious any more. The cookies have all been cleaned out like usual: darn, I was really hoping to have some of the left-overs. Same empty space for the donuts, but I kinda know to expect that. All of those tasties go in the morning. So I grab Mr. Cake’s clipboard and pen and start with all of the math-y stuff. How many are left, how many batches were sold… on and on. I know a lot of ponies complain about it, but I don’t think it’s boring. Especially since I get to eat anything that needs to go to make an even number! Really, your brain is so busy with all the numbers it doesn’t really have time to be bored.

I’m about to make the last check on the clipboard to take back to Mrs. Cake in the kitchen so she knows what we need for the evening when the door jingles open. “Hi! Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner! I’m Pinkie Pie. Anything that catches your eye, I’ll pack right up!” I say before even wheeling around to the counter.

“Afternoon, Pinkie,” is her reply, and I recognize her voice immediately.

“How are you, Miss Anz?” I ask the Changeling lady coming in the door. She’s a regular now, and I think she’s a lot like Rarity. Her bright orange mane is always styled like Rarity’s and her shell is kinda sparkly. I think it has to be a special shampoo. If I’m honest with myself, I’m glad my mane and coat don’t take anything special. “The usual I’m guessing? My guesses are pretty good by the way.”

“Very good,” Miss Anz replies. “Some of my friends don’t believe me though. I really need to bring them here sometime just to prove how good your guesses are. And yes, my usual would be nice.”

“Okie-dokie, just a sec. I’ve gotta check in the back,” I say, somewhat sheepishly. We have a tame rush, and Miss Anz’s favorite cupcakes (chocolate cake, chocolate icing, and chocolate sprinkles with chocolate filling) are still out of stock. I don’t think I ate any today… huh, they must be just that popular.

“Mrs. Cake!” I shout once I’m back in the kitchen. I’d shout anyway because all the ponies in other restaurants do it, but Mrs. Cake likes to listen to really, really loud classic music on her turntable when she bakes.

“Yes, Pinkie, dear!” she shouts back to me.

“Are there any Quadruple Chocolate Sugar Rush Heart Attack cupcakes back here?!” I ask, this time squinting my eyes for good measure. I’m sure it looks good when a pony is yelling.

“Already done! I’ve put the stock back in the ice box! Get what you need for the customer!” Mrs. Cake replies.

“Thank you!” I say with my biggest smile, prancing into the shivery-cold store room and opening one of the store boxes for the deeply rich, mouth watering cupcakes. Grabbing an entire tray for good measure, I balance it on my back as I return trot to the front. Miss Anz is still waiting patiently smiling, and she looks so excited to get her order today, I put the chilled tray up for her to see. “Go ahead. Your pick of the ones fresh off the presses!”

“Many thanks, Pinkie Pie,” she says, eyeing the delicacies with as much anticipation as I would. As I do, actually. “These four,” she waves her holey hoof over the set. I nod approvingly and offer her a friendly-regular-customer wink as my practiced hooves sweep her choice of cakes into the waiting take-out box.

“Twenty-five bits please,” I say, Miss Anz with the money already in her hoof. “Annnnddd here you go,” I continue the transaction, sliding the bits onto my side and the box to hers. “Enjoy!”

“I definitely will,” she answers, taking the box in her magic and turning for the door. I watch her leaving for a moment, my semi-permanent smile growing a little at seeing her so excited to have her treats; before diving behind the counter to change out the cupcake tray I had brought out front.

I’m not sure what made me ask the question just then. It wasn’t my Pinkie Sense, but I guess she was just so much happier than most of the other Changelings. She was definitely doing something differently than the others, and maybe that something would help me put smiles on everyling’s faces. “Miss Anz, I hate to hold you up, but can I ask you a question?” I practically blurt out. Ah, whatever. Better than stuttering.

“Of course,” Miss Anz replies, though her voice is leery.

“Why are you always so much more cheerful than all the other Changelings?” I ask, as a straightforward question is always easier than beating around the bush. I want to be sincere anyway. This is important stuff! “Ponyville is a happy place, and I don’t like seeing anypony or anyling without a smile. But I just can’t figure out how to make the other Changelings smile.”

“Oh,” Miss Anz’s giggles. I cock my head in bewilderment. “Pinkie, I’m a journalist for the local Ponyville newspaper. I write a column about the goings on in the colony so everypony here knows how we’re doing. The paper is a little thing, nothing like the war department’s magazine headquarters back home, and it’s run by the sweetest pony couple. Those mares are so open-minded, they don’t mind me feeding on their love for each other. And… well, not everyling is as fortunate as I am.”

“Thanks for letting me know,” I say, determination already leaking into my voice. “I’ll solve the problem or my name’s not Pinkamena Diane Pie.”

“Good luck, Pinkie,” she replies genially before stepping out of the shop. I can tell she doesn’t think I can help. She appreciates me wanting to do something for all the Changelings, but doesn’t think a lone pony can do much. I’m gonna prove her wrong. Now… heh… I just have to figure out how.
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“That’s something of a broad question, Pinkie,” Mr. Cake said to me as he walked and I bounced through Ponyville to get our weekly flour supply. It was the next morning in my still recovering town, and I had done some goofy thinking last night. It was so silly, I wasn’t even able to go to sleep (which usually only happens when I eat too many donuts before bed). I had my black coffee with me since Twilight always talks about it when she stays up late working on a project for the princess, and with Gummy trying to help by nibbling my ear, I tried to sort through a way to help everyling in Ponyville get enough love to be happy.

My first idea had been to just tie up cute couples in Sugar Cube Corner’s basement and make them eat rainbow frosted cupcakes together. They always make me happy, so I figured it would work with other ponies; but something told me kidnapping wasn’t really the best idea… Just for starters, I’d be giving the Changelings what they needed to smile, but taking away any reason for the ponies to smile. I think I’d be happy just to have rainbow frosted cupcakes, but I’m not exactly everypony. So, as hard as it was, I tried to think from Rarity’s view about romaance. I could feel my brain getting all icky and sticky, but I persevered. Everypony and everyling deserved to have what would make them smile.

I don’t think I can really blame myself, since I was thinking like Rarity after all, but even in all that gooey, lovey-dovey… stuff… I couldn’t get anything to stick. Nothing made any sense, and I eventually stopped trying to walk in somepony else’s horseshoes. It wasn’t doing me any more good than I had with my own ideas. I was out of coffee and probably would have just fallen asleep at my little desk, but like it always does, my Pinkie Sense saved me from utter disaster!

I got a Wobbly Tummy, which I learned always meant two special someponies were together and whispering to each other. I knew it couldn’t be Mr. and Mrs. Cake since I would have heard them and the Pinkie Sense wouldn’t have picked up on anything. So I did the next logical thing. I jolted up, eyes as wide as I could make them to see in the low light, and tore open my window. Like I was veteran spy (which nopony seems to believe, huh), I inched my head out the window to peer into the street. The Pinkie Sense doesn’t lie, and sure enough, a mare and stallion were snuggling and giggling like silly fillies as they walked past Sugar Cube Corner. I leaned my head out farther, tilting my head to try to hear what they were saying. “... so tasty,” I heard the mare say. “You really do know how to pick the best spots to eat…” I only just caught the end of it, her voice going all dream-boaty there at the end. I waited to hear how the stallion would answer, but he didn’t say anything. And I couldn’t hear the gentle clopping of their hooves either. But when I turned my head back around, they were just standing there in the street looking at me like I was the weirdo! Ha ha ha! There faces were so goofy, I couldn’t resist laughing on the spot.

They edged away, taking nervous glances back at me, but I shouted to them, “Thanks for the super-duper-big help!” Now, with morning bright and ready to be filled with funny jokes and laughs, I waited as patiently as I could for Mr. Cake to answer my question.

“I mean, starting your own restaurant isn’t so simple as starting just a little shop,” he says to me, and I can see in his eyes that he’s doing his best to find the right words. “And you want to have Changelings there too? I won’t claim to know everything about the treaty, Pinkie Pie, but I’m not sure what you’re proposing is even legal.”

“Oh sure it is!” I say happily, glad that something so teensy is his biggest worry. “As long as everypony coming in knows Changelings will be there for love, there’s nothing wrong with it. I mean, don’t you see how perfect it is! Pony couples come in on cutesy dates, and on top of the love and happiness they have from being on a date, they can add more knowing they’re making the Changelings smile!”

“I mean… uh…” Mr. Cake sighs. “It sounds great as a concept, kiddo. And you know Cup and I would do anything to help our oldest foal, but investing in a brand new restaurant with an unproven dining experience is just… well, I’ll say it bluntly… it’s very, very risky, Pinkie.”

“Rainbow Dash is risky,” I say, pointing a hoof at Mr. Cake. “This is just a little unsteady. I guess it’s like a cupcake that has a lot of frosting and you have to find a way to keep it up!”

“Hmm, good analogy, but a better one would be deciding how to pipe the icing on in the first place,” Mr. Cake says, winking at me and continuing with a question. “What do you think you could do to help bring ponies in?”

“It’s a restaurant!” I giggle as we step into the warehouse. “HIYA and good morning Mr. Burlap!” I interrupt myself to give the warehouse clerk a tight hug, which he’s ready for this time and returns. “Ooh! You remembered and you’re in a good mood today!” I exclaim, bouncing excitedly in front of him.

“Profit’s been good this month with all the workers in town eating up store wares and the stores needing to replenish their stock more often,” the pony says, more to Mr. Cake than me; not that I mind. I’ve already started thinking about what Mr. Cake meant as they banter about prices and things. At first, I’d have said that since my place would be a restaurant, good food would get me good reviews from those stuffy, picky food critics (why anypony pays them so much to tell them what they could find out themselves makes no sense to me!). But I think that’s a bit too simple. Mr. Cake’s probably worried about ponies not coming just because Changelings are coming as well—meanies—and isn’t sure I’ll have any way to convince them to dine at my place.

But as I struggle to think of a solution (this idea will work), Mr. Burlap’s husky voice cuts into my thoughts. “And it must be gettin’ pretty serious from what I hear. ‘parently, the princess is preppin’ to take a trip down there to negotiate out of the issue.”

“THAT’S IT!” I burst out, unable to contain my glorious moment of super-stacular epiphany (I’ll really need to thank Twilight for teaching me that word). Mr. Cake is looking at my eager and grinning face expectantly, and Mr. Burlap has the goofiest mouth-open-in-shock face I’ve seen in a long time. “The princess!” I breathe out rather dramatically. “Don’t you see? If Princess Celestia comes to my new restaurant on our grand opening night, everypony and their sister will want to see what all the fuss’s about. Good food can take it from there!”

“Of course that would help any restaurant,” Mr. Burlap chuckles, “but I don’t think the princess comes to a place jus’ because somepony asked. It’s a matter of a reputation you’ve already got.”

“Oh don’t worry about that silly,” I say, waving my hoof. “The princess and I go way back. Cake and… other things.” Mr. Burlap makes that ridiculous face again, which only sets off more giggles in me as I turn to Mr. Cake. “So! You and Mrs. Cake in?”

“If you really want to do this, Pinkie, we’ll do our level best to help,” Mr. Cake says, a small and proud grin creeping onto his face. “Besides, what’s life without a little risk, eh?”

“Mm!” I agree. “Now to assemble the troops!”