Guess I should start talking about myself, My name is Hawkeyes. As you can see, I'm a pegasus. It's not a bad thing, since wigs are usefull, but I don't fly much. I love games, since they are the only thing than can keep me distracted from how boring my job is.
Monday. Fucking monday. First day of the week, wich means I have to start working at the restaurant. Maybe, just MAYBE, if my job was a little more exciting, I wouldn't complain so much. But guess what, it is extremly boring. Fuck, I dont even get to make food. I just have to take orders.
Luckly, my day was over, and I could finally get some rest. And when I say rest, I mean playing Fallout equestria on my "X-cube 360" (for the record, I prefer pc). This was my plan: Play fallout equestria and some DLC's, especially "project horizons", all night, since I found a new job and tomorrow, all i would have to do was quit my old one, go to the post office ask for a new job (wich was absolutley better than taking orders in a restaurant). I was going to do mail delivery. Yeah, it's not the best job ever, but.. oh well, it's something.
Twesday. I was on my way to the restaurant. I was still tired, since I only slept for 2 hours. Yesterday was awesome. I finished both fallout equestria and project horizons.
I reached the restaurant, and, obviously, I was late.
Warning: A wild boss appeared.
Angry boss used: "If you are late one more day, I will fire you"
It was not very effective.
You use: "Nah, I already quit"
Your trolling was effective.
Surprised boss uses: " *Wide eyes* WHAT!?"
You use: "Yeah, I already got a new (and better) job. Problem boss?"
Trolling is SUPER effective.
You throw him a pokeball, but is not effective.
------------Back to reality------------
"HOW THE FUCK DARE YOU TO TROW ME A GLASS YOU FUCKING PICE OF SHIT? YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE FIRED EVEN IF YOU FUCKING QUIT. GET OUT OF MY RESTAURANT. SECURITY! I WANT THIS PONY OUT OF MY RESTAURANT RIGHT NOW!
------------Back to hallucination---------
"Security? Heh, reminds me of project horizons."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS PROJECT HORIZONS!?"
Wild boss is mad.
You win.
You gain 100000000000 exp. A winner is you.
-------------End of hallucination-----------------
I snaped back from the hallucination, and I realized what I just did. Wow, Did I really threw a glass at my boss thinking it was a pokeball? Sounds cool. But now the police wanted to "talk" to me.
"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to come with us-" One of the police ponies said. It was a cop, but in my mind, they were the enclave.
Fine, lesson learned, lack of sleep causes hallucinations...
"YOU WILL NEVER GET ME ALIVE MOTHERFUCKERS. I'M A DASHITE"
...and crazyness.
As I started to run away, the cops stared at me, until one of them finally asked the question: "What the hay is a dashite?
I was trying to lose the policeponies that were probably chasing me. They were probably using pole carriages to get to me. I couldn't take it anymore, and I looked back. They were not following me. Whew...
Wait.
What if they were using snipers? OH SHIT. They were probably aiming to my head. Ohshitohshitohshit. If they were using s.a.t.s then... Wait a minute. S.A.T.S was from fallout equestria. And that was only a game. Not real.
Okay, Lack of sleep causes severe paranoia too. For now, I was ready to go to the post office and get the new job, so I could relax in my house for the rest of the day.
So, after ten minutes of walking I got to the post office.
There was an aged green coated and blue maned unicorn mare sitting behind a desk.
"Ummm, Excuse me, but I'm here for the job."
"What job?" She asked without even looking at me.
"Well, mail delivery"
"I'm sorry, but we are looking for ponies with experience"
"And why do you assume that I dont ha- *Sight* No, I don't have experience. But I don't have a job, and the newspaper did NOT say that I needed experience"
"It was obvious. You NEVER get a job without experience"
"How do I get experience for the job if you are going to ask for permission to do deliveries? It doesn't make sense" She stoped typing and started thinking.
"It's-I-It's a good question. I don't know. But the point is that I can't give you the job.
"But I need to make cap- money, and my old boss is NOT going to give me the job back"
"Sorry, but It's not my problem. Besides you should try to ask him for the job. It's not like you threw him a glass, Is it?" Irony, how I hate you.
I wanted to punch her in the face, but sadly, I dont hit mares.
So, with that, I slowly walked out of the bulding, not like a boss, but like a mediocre employe. Now I didn't have a job.
When I finally got home, I saw a letter in my mailbox. Irony.
I started reading:
Hawkeyes:
How are you, you little piece of shit? It's been a long time, How are you?
I just wanted to tell you the news:
I'm moving to ponyville.
You may be asking why. Becase I needed a job, And in ponyville, there was a hospital that needed a doctor. It's not a bad job, I mean, could be worse, for example, I could be a nurse. That would be gay.
And besides, Ponyville has a lot of mares.
Why don't you visit someday?
And I think that was it. I just wanted to tell you that. Goodbye.
White.
P.S:I remember that you once told me that you wanted to do mail delivery. Remember that you will NEED experience, or they will NOT give you the job.
Oh god...Irony is such a bitch.
Fine, the universe, Celestia, and Luna must HATE me.
I gave long, and risigned sight, and decided that I was going to sleep, and tomorrow I was going to fix everything.
Before falling into a dream I started thinking:
"Well, looks like I will have to use my brain to think of a way to make money, and I have to do it fast.
Godesses, I wonder if `The equestrian scrolls: Skyrim´ Is as good as everyone says... No, focus on the job, focus, you have to think of a plan... But it it must be preety cool, with the dragons and all...NO. Focus on the job...But maybe-NO, you have to focus on a plan. Definitely on the job.
Go to ponyville, huh? Well, It's not actually a bad idea. Good work brain, I admit that sometimes, you are usefull.
Why am I talking to my own brain?
And I fell asleep.
Well, first chapter of my first fic. I don't think it was that bad, so what do you think? I acept critics.
Chapter under maintenance. I'm working to fix the grammar mistakes.
I still don't have a proof-reader, so for now, I have to do it.
