Blood Red Love: Pastel and Spazzy

by Spazzy Straws ThePony

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Romance, Tragedy, Alternate Universe
Length: 2096

Spazzy Straws, a seemingly normal, average, and quite strange pony, but he is facing problems, ranging from stopping himself from brutally murdering ponies, to stabilizing his love life with Pastel(see long desc for more)

Pastel Jester, the prettiest, most thoughtful, and loving, and amazing, and awesome, and oh wait a second…That's spaz's view on her let me restate that. Pastel, a seemingly normal, average, and quite Caring pony, but she is facing problems ranging from trying to not murder ponies in cold blood, to trying to help Spazzy forget his dense, somewhat forgotten past, and make way for the future.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-12 22:33:56 UTC

Pinkie's Story. It will be a doozy.

"Pinkie. Why did you make me wait 2 hours doing nothing to hear the story." deadpanned spaz, with quite the calamity in his voice. Spazzy as I've mentioned before, doesn't see pinkie's shenanigans like they are, and became friends with pinkie, he spent so much time with the pink pony, every once awhiel you could see his mane turning slightly pinkie-like. He has a golden mane, with a light, but not too light coat, along with a pair of two blue eyes (see my avatar picture for him.)

"Why? The last chapter ended. You can't just do something in between chapters, then the readers would be like, Oh darn that writer I want to here more." Exclaimed Pinkie, her hair just bouncing as she made hoof motions to back up her case.

"What is she talking about..." Asked Comet Fury.

"Pinkie We've been here so long Comet Fury showed up! And he never ever ever, leaves the town square."

"Hi there Comet" Greeted Pinkie

"Sup? Spaz, may I ask HOW IN THE HAY CAN YOU BE FRIENDS WITH PINKIE AND NOT GET ANNOYED TO YOUR GRAVE?" Shouted Comet, with a unorthodox look on his face, trying to comprehend what the hay pinkie means. He was always just a teensy weensy bit serious, but not as serious as he would get in the future.

"That was kind of rude!" Exclaimed Spaz.

"Oops, yea It kind of was, sorry pinks" Apologized pinkie.

"Okie dokie lokie then!" Replied the ball of fluff, and pinkie-random-ness. "So who's ready for the story of the near death of Spaz?" IT was two whole minutes before somepony finally said something. "Oh wait a second! Your Comet Fury? YOUR GONNA BE SO GOOD IN THIS STORY! OOPS CELESTIADAMNIT! I JUST BROKE THE FOURTH WALL BEYOND FIXING! COMET, SPAZZY FORGET WHAT I SAID!"

"Ok, i guess..." said Comet and Spaz Simultaneously.

"Ok let's begin then shall we?" Just then as if on cue the sun dropped, and the moon rose, so pinkie brought out a flash light, and shined it on her face.

"Luna, Celestia, why must you be drunk today?!?" Yelled Comet.

"IT WAS A NOT SO DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, in fact it was actually a sunshiny day, the day after I got my cutie mark. I was just packing up to go live in ponyville hen I realised I had left my pet rock outside, so I went to go get him, and I saw the most gruesome thing a filly could hope not to witness.A small colt, laying there, with Rocky, and worst of all Rocky had jabbed him straight in the head, while Rocky's friend, Mr. Hardstone, had tripped the poor colt into Rocky. I panicked, I didn't know what to do, so I gave Rocky and Mr. Hardstone I lecture about murdering innocent ponies, just then I heard a cough, he was still alive. I CAN SAVE HIM! I shouted, then rushed took a boulder, err, no it wasn't just a boulder, it was a rock, the pioneers used to ride those things for miles ya know.So anyway I took the rock, and drove it the hospital, blood gushing out of his head faster, then I could say peterponypickedaplockofpickledpeppers five times fast. i Got him inside and using my very, very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,very, very, very, very, very best drama voice, I sniveled Nurse! Nurse! This poor colt is dying he needs medical help. Who is he she asked? I have absolutely. Positively. Not a single idea who it is. But he's cute I said, letting the moment slip the words he's cute out, which I really didn't think of him that way after he was all fixed up. After hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours he was finally conscious. Then after days and days and days and days, he was let out. So i'm Pinkie Pie! I greeted him with, what's your name? My, name? What is my name, and where did I come from, who am I? I dunno I replied not knowing how to respond. I don't know who I am or where I came from, but you helped me didn't you? he said. Yes I did? But how do you not know anything about yourself, I can tell your about my age, do you should know at least as much as I do, but not the same things. NUUURSE! This pony can't remember anything! I yelled. Huh, she didn't hear me, well i'll call you... I said as I looked around the rooms and saw a pony having a spasm, and a billboard for straws. Spazzy Straws! Spaz for short. Oh, Spazzy Straws? Ok. Who are you again? You asked." Then about 2 hours of pinkie making all these random remarks of them two growing up together, being the best of friends, and celebrating birthdays together, for they didn't know when his birthday was, and did I mention being the best of friends, she ended the story with " And you were like How about oatmeal? and I was like Oatmeal? Are you crazy!"

" Oh." Sniveled the two stallions, at the story.

"But you do realize that the last hour of your story was stuff I DO remeber?" asked Spaz.

Fourth Wall.

"Hey! Look the portal is back" commented Spazzy.

"Hmmm. Fourth Wall, what could that mean..." Questioned Comet.

"It the thing that I break all the time!" Exclaimed PInkie and Bubble, bouncing so much, they knocked Spazzy in, and it closed before he could get out.

"Well he's a dead pony." Said Comet.

Spazzy fell through the portal, it was various colors of all sort just blending together untill it emptied out into a library, adn Spazzy blacked out.

"Hello? Spazzy? BUt, but your a. Your a colt?" spazzy heard

"Where am I..." moaned Spaz

"In my library. But more importantly. HOW DID YOU BECOME A COLT?!?"  Said Dusk Shine.

"Twi. Twilight?" "Is that you?"

"No, i'm Dusk Shine, and you are?"

"I. I'm Spazzy Straws."

"You can't be! Your a colt! Spazzy is a mare?"

"WHAT?!?" Spazzy screamed, realizing what apeared to be six stallions, all apearing similar to Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and who is that? "Rarity? Rainbow Dash? Fluttershy? AJ? WHY ARE YOU ALL STALLIONS!?!?"

"And aren't you dead Spazzy?" All of the stallions only thought was a four letter word, called what.

"I have no idea, what the buck. Is going on. Wait, ohhhhh. Is a pony named Bubble Berry Missing?"

"Yes? Why?"

"And is there a pony named Meteor Frenzy here?"

"She isn't in town at the moment, but yes? Why?" Then it hit Spazzy, he was stuck in the other world, it also hit him that he was doomed, and without Pinkie, err, Bubble, he wouldn't be able to break the "Fourth Wall" again.

"OHMYCELESTIAIUNDERSTANDNOWIMINAALTERNATIVEUNIVERSETHATBUBBLEBERRYCAMEFROMICAN'TBELIEVETHATHEWASREALANDTHATI'MHERERIGHTNOWWHATTHEBUCKISGOINGONANDHOWWILLIGETBACK?"

"Ok? and our names our Dusk Shine, Rainbow Blitz, Elusive, Applejack, and Butterscotch, oh and that is Joker Palette."

"Yo" Said Palette.

"Darling, why do you look like Spazzy, the mare?" Said Elusive

"Yea, why do ya' look like that?" Questioned AJ

"Your not gonna trick us! Spazzy is dead! And a mare!" Rainbow Blitz said.

"Hi..." whispered Butterscotch.

"I know exactly what is going on!" Exclaimed Spazzy. "Bubble Berry is in my world, and I am in your world, and since there isn't a Bubble Berry to break the Fourth wall. I'm stuck here."

"Boohoo. We're not exactly faring well here either, without Bubble, everypony is so grim." Said Applejack.

The Picnic.

It was a Sunday afternoon, a simple, regular old, casual, Sunday afternoon. Spazzy was setting up a picnic, complete with crackers, tea, sugar, fruit, dandelion pie, and in his opinion, best of all, sandwiches. Sandwiches with extra mayo. He loves mayo, the only thing he loved more was rainbows, the succulent taste, of all the color in his mouth, he honestly didn't know that you couldn't taste colors.

"Hey Spaz!" Called out the ever-so cheery, pinkie. "I-Is that picnic for me?!?" "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you thank you, thank you, thank, you thank you, thank you, thank you so very much!"

Surprising not annoyed Spazzy Straws said "Oh, uhm sure! That's totally what I made it for, you, I wasn't planning to eat this all on my own or anything! That'd be crazy! Right?"

"Well of course you weren't because then the writer would have to write about the long boring hours of you having a stomach-ache for eating that much and it would go on and on and on and on and on and on." "Ya know what I mean?"

"Not a clue. I'll trust you on this one though" Spazzy always trusted her, because why not? This was the pony who had saved his life once before, although he didn't know it he had felt that she was a good pony, good enough to trust.

"Yippee! Now the writer has to write about how you nearly died!" "Wait, oops did I say that out loud?"

"Yes? I don't really understand anyway."

"That's certainly OK!"

"WAIT WHAT DO YOU MEAN I ALMOST DIED?

The baffled pink pony just sat there, gnawed on her sandwich a little, mouthed an "oh" face on her and spoke "Oh, I've never told you that story? Well, Get your tissues because it is a doozy!" "Just be glad it was me and not Inkie or Blinkie, they wouldn't of even noticed you! I wonder what's happen to them."

"Wait, I almost died? What?"

"It was quite horrifying"

"What?"

"And Gruesome."

"WHAT?"

"Come on spaz, quit quoting Doctor Who, that show is for older stallions, plus there isn't a titanic in the TARDIS" Oh wait, he doesn't know that I can see through the Fourth Wall in other worlds, she thought to herself after saying that.

"Still, no clue what your talking about"

A Pinkie Pie. And another one.

"Pinkie why did we have too wait here for two hours again?" deadpanned Comet.

"So the readers don't miss out on anything important! DUH! We went over this already! You don't believe me about that do you?"

"I do...Sort of."

"Do you really?"

"Yes.

"Do you really really really?"

"YES!

"Suuuuuure."

"OK~! I DON"T BELIEVE IN ANY OF THIS CRAZY SHIT! LIKE SERIOUSLY?!? THE EARTH BEING FLAT, FOURTH WALLS? READERS? WRITERS? AND ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSES? IT'S ALL A BUNCH OF HOOEY!" Just then a portal with the words "Fourth Wall" around it appeared and a Pink pony jumped through it, just before it closed itself.

"HOW DARE YOU DENY THE EXISTENCE OF ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSES!!!" Shouted a vaguely familiar pink stallion, as he slapped Comet. "Wait, Meteor Frenzy? Is that? Is that you? And. And your a stallions now?!? Huh?!?"

"You look very familiar." Stated pinkie to Bubble Berry, who had just came from the alternative universe, that we shall now call R63-Landia. "Are you the pony that's on my bowling team that doesn't exist?"

"Pinkie. He is you. From another world, don't ask how." Blankly stated the amused Comet.

"Oh my Celestia! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A SIDE SHIP IN A SHIPFIC!!!" Yelped Pinkie, as he gave Bubble "Huggles" as she would put it.

"And I'm guessing Meteor Frenzy is me right? Oh and OUCH!!"

"I guess so." said the two similar ponies simultaneously. "Now we're both going to witness what happens next in the story together!"

"My head." deadpanned spazzy. "My bucking head" he said, right before he gasped and slapped himself silly. "Language spazzy! Cursing never solved anything, and clearly by the look of things there either isn't a problem or it's beyond fixing."

"Why do you even bother not cursing..." Questioned Comet, while trying to fix his face