Wrasslin’
“I’m so bored...” Scootaloo moaned. She and her two best friends were in the treehouse. The walls were covered in brightly colored paint from an idea to become “Cutie Mark Crusader Impressionistic Artists,” which had started as an adventure in fine art but had ended in everypony covered in sticky paint. That had been a week ago, and since then the Cutie Mark Crusaders had had no idea what crusade they should undertake next.
“Don’t we always get ourselves in this situation?” Sweetie Belle asked. “We have a bunch of good ideas, and then we fall into a slump and can’t think of anything anymore.”
“Well,” Apple Bloom interjected, “ah, for one, don’t want to spend our Saturday loafin’ around in the treehouse. We’re wastin’ valuable crusadin’ time! Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom suddenly pointed her hoof at her, catching her off guard. “You’ve always got great crusadin’ ideas. Come up with somethin’!”
“Apple Bloom, don’t...” Sweetie Belle whined, blushing and hiding her face behind her hooves. “You know I hate to be put on the spot like that.”
Apple Bloom sighed and hung her head. “Ah’m sorry, Sweetie Belle, ah just thought...”
Sweetie Belle uncovered her face, trotted over to Apple Bloom, and gave her a hug. “It’s okay.”
“Still bored!” Scootaloo blurted out, startling her friends and causing them to tumble over each other. Sweetie Belle now had Apple Bloom pinned. She was going to get off of her, but Apple Bloom struggling to free herself suddenly filled her with a malicious intent to keep her on the floor.
“Get off me, get off me!” Apple Bloom shouted.
“Make me,” Sweetie Belle said softly. Apple Bloom tried to push Sweetie Belle off of her, but Sweetie Belle dug into her with some force, keeping her pinned. Apple Bloom struggled a bit more, but then suddenly came up with an idea. She tickled Sweetie Belle on the inside of her thigh, causing her to spasm and roll off of her.
“No fair! That’s cheating!” Sweetie Belle whined, her voice cracking as she tried to recover from the tingling sensation. Apple Bloom, however, showed no remorse. She tackled Sweetie Belle and pinned her to the floor.
“Hey! What’s the big idea?” Sweetie Belle gasped. Apple Bloom grinned wickedly at her, making her whimper.
“The Apple family always says to never go out for revenge. But sometimes it’s just too much fun!”
“Maybe for you, but I can’t breathe. Get off of me!”
Apple Bloom shook her head, but then was blindsided by Scootaloo tackling her to the ground. Sweetie Belle picked herself off of the floor while the two of them, equal in terms of strength, rolled about, each one trying to pin the other. They were shouting and hollering at each other, and Sweetie Belle couldn’t help but laugh. When Apple Bloom and Scootaloo heard her, they turned to face her. Sweetie Belle gulped and tried to get away, but her two friends both jumped on her and rolled around with her all over the floor. The three friends were now giggling and grunting as each tried to gain the upper hoof, but they soon became tired out and finally rolled off of each other.
“Ooh! Girls, check your flanks!” Scootaloo shouted. The three of them turned their heads to look for potential cutie marks, but they saw nothing but blank flanks once again. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sighed, but Scootaloo grunted and kicked the wall next to her.
“I thought for sure we’d get our cutie marks in wrestling,” she grumbled.
“Ah thought it was pronounced ‘wrasslin’’,” Apple Bloom said, rubbing her chin with her hoof.
Scootaloo stared at her incredulously. “Where did you hear that?”
“Mah sister, and don’t make fun of me. She’s really smart and she knows words and she’s always called it ‘wrasslin’’.”
“Whatever,” Scootaloo said. “It doesn’t matter what you call it; we still didn’t get any cutie marks for it.” She grunted and kicked the wall again, only this time a chunk of it broke off with a crunch, letting in a ray of afternoon sunshine. Sweetie Belle shrieked.
“Scootaloo!” she yelled, “what did you do that for?”
“I’m sorry!” Scootaloo stammered. “I didn’t think the wall would break off!”
“Now what are we gonna do?” Apple Bloom asked. “Ah mean, ah could prob’ly fix it, but mah brother and sister spent all of yesterday cleanin’ the house and ah don’t know where she moved all the tools!”
“Seriously, Bloom?” Scootaloo asked. “Your house isn’t even that big. How hard could it be to find a bunch of tools?”
“You’re a tool,” Apple Bloom spat. Sweetie Belle gasped and covered her mouth, but the epithet flew over Scootaloo’s head.
“That doesn’t even make sense,” she said.
“Apple Bloom, you should apologize right now to Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle demanded.
“Apologize for what?” Scootaloo asked. “It’s just Apple Bloom talking weird like she always does.”
“Hey!” Apple Bloom shouted. “Why don’t ya leave me and mah way of talkin’ alone?”
“Wanna ‘wrassle’ about it?” Scootaloo asked maliciously. Apple Bloom was about to take her up on the offer, but Sweetie Belle held the two of them apart.
“Stop it, stop it!” she yelled, her voice cracking again. “If you two start fighting, you’ll only do more damage to the treehouse. Our priority has to be fixing the wall.”
“‘Priority’?” Apple Bloom asked. “Now who’s the one talkin’ weird.”
“That’s a real word!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “I learned it from my sister.”
“Whatever,” Scootaloo said, “let’s just go to the house and find the toolbox so we can fix this.”
“But mah sister told us to stay out here fer the afternoon.”
“So?” Scootaloo asked.
“Remember the last time we went crusadin’ in the house?” Apple Bloom asked. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle thought a bit and then recalled.
“Oh, yeah,” Scootaloo said. “We never did find that frying pan...” She shook her head and regathered her train of thought. “Look, your sister’s gonna be mad if she finds out we broke the tree house, so we have to fix it without her knowing, right?”
“Uh-huh,” Apple Bloom said.
“And the only way to do that is to go to the house and find the toolbox, right?”
“Scootaloo has a point,” Sweetie Belle said. “There’s no point in arguing. We’re just gonna have to be sneaky about it.”
“All right, but let’s make it quick,” Apple Bloom said.
With the three of them finally agreeing to do something, they left the treehouse and made the trek up to the Apple family’s house. They entered slowly, taking care not to wake Granny Smith from her afternoon nap. She was apparently a heavy sleeper, as they managed to sneak past her without incident.
The three of them made their way to the cellar, where Apple Bloom last remembered seeing the toolbox. Applejack and Big Mac had done a good job of organizing the cellar so that it was nice and neat. Boxes were stacked perfectly on top of one another, properly labeled and in alphabetical order.
The three friends dove into the piles of boxes and sifted through them, desperate to find the toolbox. They threw all of the items in the boxes out onto the floor in their search, but of all the strange things they found (including an old photo album, some horribly gaudy stockings, and what looked to be one of Apple Bloom’s old model train sets), a toolbox wasn’t one of them.
“Do ya see anything, girls?” Apple Bloom asked. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo shook their heads.
“It’s not here, Bloom,” Scootaloo said. “We’ve looked everywhere.”
“But why would they move it out of the cellar?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Instead of wasting time searching for it,” Scootaloo suggested, “why don’t we just ask your sister where it is?”
“But we’re not even s’posed to be here!” Apple Bloom cried.
“Yeah, but at this point, what can we do? There’s no point trying to look for it ourselves.”
“I know that, but she told us she didn’t want us in here makin’ a mess again.” The girls’ eyes bugged out as they looked at what they had done to the cellar.
“Oops,” Sweetie Belle said succinctly. “Um...maybe we should ask your sister before we do any more damage.”
Apple Bloom sighed. “All right, all right. We’ll ask AJ where the toolbox is.”
“Good,” Scootaloo said. “Do you know where she is?”
“Uh...” Apple Bloom said, thinking. “Why don’t we try her room? Ah think she said she was takin’ the day off. Maybe she’s takin’ a nap.”
“So we’re gonna wake her up?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Only fer a few seconds,” Apple Bloom said, “and then we’ll leave her alone, right?”
“Of course!” Scootaloo chimed in.
“Then let’s go!” Apple Bloom said, leading the charge up the cellar steps and into the main part of the house before remembering they shouldn’t be waking up Granny Smith from her nap. As they climbed the steps more carefully now towards Applejack’s room, they started to hear noises coming from the upstairs. It sounded like a couple of ponies grunting, which put the crusaders off a bit.
“What is that noise?” Scootaloo asked.
“Ah don’t know,” Apple Bloom said. “Maybe we should just ignore it.”
“Okay...” Scootaloo said hesitantly. The three of them came up the stairs slowly because they were nervous about what could be going on up there. When the crusaders arrived at Applejack’s door, they could hear the grunting noises even more clearly.
“It sounds like there’s more than one pony in there,” Sweetie Belle whispered.
“Why are we whispering?” Scootaloo asked, also in a whisper.
“It’s prob’ly just one of AJ’s friends. Let’s just go in and ask where the toolbox is, and then we’ll be outta here in a flash.”
Suddenly, a cry of “Applejack” sounded from the room, followed by some hushed whispering.
“Not too loud. Do ya want Granny Smith catchin’ us?”
“That’s definitely mah sister in there,” Apple Bloom said.
“And that also sounded like Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo said, her eyes lighting up and wings fluttering.
“What the heck are they doing in there?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Ah don’t know, but maybe we should knock first.” Apple Bloom reached for the door, but Scootaloo swatted her hoof away.
“I want to know what they’re up to,” she said. “Let’s just peek inside for a bit and see what’s going on.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea...” Sweetie Belle whispered.
“Oh would you just relax?” Scootaloo asked. She went to take a peek, but Apple Bloom had beat her to the punch, having opened the door a crack to look inside. She became quizzical at what she saw and pulled away from the crack in the door.
“What are they doing?” Scootaloo asked.
“Ah’m not exactly sure.”
“Oh, move over!” Scootaloo shoved Apple Bloom aside and looked in herself.
“Uh...what the heck?” she asked. “Why don’t you look, Sweetie Belle?”
“I don’t want to,” she said. “It’s wrong to snoop on other ponies.”
“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Scootaloo said.
“What’s a ‘prude’?” Apple Bloom asked.
“It’s...” Scootaloo said, thinking, “it’s just something I heard Rainbow Dash say once. Just take a look, Sweetie Belle.”
“Okay, okay,” Sweetie Belle said, peering into the crack of the door. She couldn’t make out what was going on in there.
“What can you see?” Scootaloo asked.
“Not much,” Sweetie Belle answered. She opened the door a little bit more. It creaked loudly as Sweetie Belle moved it.
“What in tarnation?” Applejack asked. The crusaders’ hearts skipped a beat and they ran down the stairs, making far too much noise in the process. Applejack peeked her head out the door but couldn’t see anypony out in the hall. She shut the door and made sure it was closed all the way before turning back over to her bed.
“What was that?” Dash asked. Applejack shook her head solemnly.
“Ah think mah sister and her friends almost walked in on us,” she said.
“Oh, dear Celestia,” Dash moaned, slumping in the bed. “We’re totally bagged, aren’t we?”
“Relax, Sugarcube. We’re not even sure they saw anythin’.” Applejack crawled back under the covers.
“Yeah, but they know I’m here. Didn’t I just shout your name?”
Applejack rubbed Dash’s leg. “Do ya think they even know what that means? They’re just foals, after all. We’re fine...”
“If they tell your grandma, we’re totally screwed.”
“Nuh-uh,” Applejack said, kissing Dash gently on the cheek. “That was what you were doin’ to me just now, and ah think it’s time we forget about mah sister and her friends and get back to it.”
Dash smiled nervously. “That does sound tempting.”
“Of course it does. Now, come here.” Applejack mounted Dash. “Ah’m gonna show you how we wrassle with bulls at the rodeo.”
The crusaders entered their treehouse, panting from all the running they had done to get there. They looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief.
“Ah thought we were done for!”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said. “But what the heck were we running from anyway? What were those two doing in there?”
“It kinda looked like they were doin’ what we were doin’ earlier,” Apple Bloom suggested.
“And what’s that?” Scootaloo asked.
“Wrasslin’,” Apple Bloom said with a straight face. Scootaloo stifled her laughter.
“You think they were wrestling? Why would two adults want to do something like that?”
“Ah don’t know, but it looks like that’s what they were up to.”
“Yeah, but c’mon,” Scootaloo said. “There’s gotta be a better explanation than that... I mean, what about when AJ said she didn’t want Granny Smith walking in on them? What was that about?”
“Maybe they were embarrassed,” Apple Bloom said. “They were actin’ like a bunch o’ foals and didn’t want Granny Smith to see that.”
“No way,” Scootaloo said. “Whatever they were doing, they were up to no good. They didn’t want to get in trouble.”
“Girls?” Sweetie Belle asked meekly, but the two louder crusaders ignored her.
“I mean, think about it,” Scootaloo said. “Why was Rainbow Dash over there? Did you know she was coming over this afternoon?”
“Well, no, ah didn’t.”
“Why wouldn’t Applejack tell you then? She was obviously hiding something. She didn’t want anypony to know that Dash was visiting, so they were definitely up to something fishy.”
“Girls?”
“But...” Apple Bloom hesitated, “but it didn’t seem like they were up to somethin’. It looked like they were just havin’ fun like we were.”
“Maybe there’s such a thing as too much fun. Isn’t that what AJ always says to us. ‘You girls are havin’ a bit too much fun’,” Scootaloo said in her best Applejack impression.
“Girls!” Sweetie Belle shouted, finally getting their attention. Scootaloo rolled her eyes.
“What, Sweetie Belle?” she asked.
“Didn’t you notice something else?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“What are ya talkin’ about?”
Sweetie Belle was quivering, looking like she wished she hadn’t even brought it up, but it was too late to turn back now. “The room...smelled,” she muttered.
“Huh?” Scootaloo asked.
“It smelled!” Sweetie Belle shouted, before cowering and hiding her face.
“Did you smell anything?” Scootaloo asked Apple Bloom.
“Now that ya mention it, there was a bit of an odor comin’ outta the room.”
“Well, what does that mean?” Sweetie Belle asked nervously.
“Ah have no idea,” Apple Bloom said.
“Me neither. Why is it even important?”
Sweetie Belle shivered. “Well, I’ve never smelled anything like it before. Have you?”
“Ah certainly haven’t,” Apple Bloom said, “but maybe that’s just the way mah sister’s room smells.”
“Yeah, right,” Scootaloo said. “Does your room ever smell like that?”
“Well, no, but—”
“I think Sweetie Belle has a point,” Scootaloo said. “That’s a suspicious smell, and they were definitely up to no good. Well, there’s only one way to find out.”
“W-what’s that?” Sweetie Belle stammered.
“We have to go back and find out what they’re up to.”
“No way!” Sweetie Belle shouted. “I don’t wanna get caught snooping.”
“Oh, c’mon, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said. “Maybe we’ll get our cutie marks in detectiving.”
“Detectiving?” Sweetie Belle asked. Scootaloo shook her head.
“It’s just Apple Bloom talking funny again,” she said. “That’s not a real word.”
“What are you, a dictionary?” Apple Bloom asked with a wicked grin.
“That’s not fair!” Scootaloo said. “Just because I made fun of you once for that doesn’t mean you can spit it back in my face.”
“Oh, will ya just relax? Look, ah don’t know if it’s such a good idea, but ah’m real curious about what mah sister is up to. Let’s go check it out.”
“Oh, but I don’t want to go!” Sweetie Belle protested.
“Suit yourself,” Scootaloo said. “We’ll just go without you. C’mon, Apple Bloom.” The two of them left the treehouse. Sweetie Belle held her ground, but when they didn’t come back for her, she ran out of the treehouse.
“Wait for me, you guys!”
“Hey, Apple Bloom,” Scootaloo asked. “Where’s your brother?” The three crusaders were just at the back door of the house when they suddenly realized they hadn’t seen Big Mac all day.
“Maybe he’s sleepin’, too.” Apple Bloom suggested.
“Or maybe he’s out doing some work in the orchard,” Sweetie Belle added.
“Or maybe he’s coming this way!” Scootaloo cried, pointing towards the large red pony making his way up the hill toward the house. Since the crusaders saw him before he could see them, they were able to quickly find a place to hide. They crawled underneath the porch, a tight fit, but manageable given their small size.
Big Mac stepped onto the porch, and the floorboards creaked above them. The crusaders held their breaths, hoping he wouldn’t see them. It seemed like he stayed up there for an eternity, but it actually wasn’t too long before he stepped off the porch and made his way back toward the field. It turned out he had come to the house to switch horse collars, because the one he was walking away with was significantly cleaner than the one he had been wearing when he had approached.
Once he was a safe distance away, the crusaders crawled out from under the porch. They were covered in dirt from the ground, and they took a few moments to brush themselves clean.
“That was a close one!” Apple Bloom said.
“You know what we have to do now,” Scootaloo said. “We can’t waste any more time. What if he comes back?”
“Okay, fine,” Apple Bloom said. “Just make sure not to wake up Granny!”
The three of them carefully snuck past Granny Smith, but before they had cleared the room she stirred in her chair. The crusaders froze, fearing they had been caught again, but Granny Smith merely turned over and continued snoozing. Regaining their composure, they made their way back up the stairs. They didn’t dare open the door this time, instead choosing to lean against it to listen inside the room. The first thing they heard was the sound of the bedsprings groaning.
“I think they’re at it again!” Scootaloo said excitedly.
“Shh!” Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hushed her quickly.
“Sorry,” Scootaloo whispered. The three continued to listen. They could make out Applejack’s voice in a stifled whisper.
“Dash, oh dear Celestia, Rainbow Dash. Don’t stop, don’t sto-o-o-p...”
“What the heck?” Apple Bloom whispered.
“You like this?” Dash muttered faintly.
“Yeah, yeah, I love it,” Applejack said.
“Then tell me,” Dash said.
“I looove this, Dash. Dear Celestia, please don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning on it.” The crusaders heard some more grunting and a bit of giddy giggling.
“Ah wish we could see what they’re doin’,” Apple Bloom said.
“Go ahead,” Scootaloo said. “Open the door just a peek.”
“Girls, you’re gonna blow it!” Sweetie Belle hissed.
“Oh, come on, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said. “We were able to peek in before.”
“Yeah, but the door was already open. If you try to open it now it’s gonna make a noise.”
“Okay, never mind,” Scootaloo said. “Just be quiet!” The three of them continued to listen. Suddenly there was a dull thud.
“Ow,” Applejack muttered, and then, “Harder.” The dull thud sounded again, a little bit more pronounced this time. Applejack hissed and gasped for breath.
“Is she...is she hurtin’ mah sister?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Yeah, but didn’t she just ask her to?” Scootaloo asked.
“That ain’t okay. Ah’ve gotta stop this.”
Scootaloo yanked Apple Bloom away from the door. “Are you crazy?” she asked. “We barely escaped before. Do you want us to get caught now?”
“Ah...ah guess not,” Apple Bloom said.
“There’s that smell again...” Sweetie Belle muttered.
“How are you so good at smelling that?” Scootaloo asked.
“Shh! Ah think they’re talkin’ again,” Apple Bloom said, leaning closer to the door.
“Ah’ve never actually done this with anypony before,” Applejack whispered.
“I know,” Rainbow Dash said. “But trust me, it’s gonna feel so good...” There were a few moments of silence, but then they could hear the sound of gasping.
“Something tells me they’re not wrestling anymore...” Scootaloo said.
“This feels really weird, Dash,” Applejack muttered.
“Do you want me to stop?” Dash asked.
“Absolutely not,” moaned Applejack. They heard Applejack panting even harder now.
“It...it sounds like she’s hurtin’ her again!” Apple Bloom said.
“Will you shut up?” Scootaloo asked. “We’re missing it.”
“No, ah can’t do it no more,” Apple Bloom said. “This has to stop.”
“Apple Bloom, wait!” Scootaloo hissed, but it was too late. Apple Bloom pushed the door open.
“Stop hurtin’ her!” she yelled at Dash. Dash turned her head and immediately lifted herself off of Applejack. Applejack peered up from her position on the bed and became irate.
“Apple Bloom!” she yelled. “Get out of here now!”
“Ah won’t leave!” Apple Bloom cried. “Ah won’t let you get hurt again!”
“Nopony’s gettin’ hurt, but if ya don’t leave, ah won’t be able to guarantee that.”
“What are you two doing in here?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“You brought yer friends up here?” Applejack yelled. “Then it was you earlier! That’s it! I want everypony out right now!”
Rainbow Dash wasn’t saying anything, but her cheeks were flushed red. Applejack was doing enough of the talking though. She rose from the bed and shooed the crusaders out of the room.
“Go back to yer treehouse and stay there!” she yelled before slamming the door. Apple Bloom looked like she was about to cry, but Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both patted her on the shoulder.
“Let’s just get out of here,” Sweetie Belle said. There was no need to talk anymore. The crusaders walked somberly down the stairs and out of the house.
“Ah’m gonna be in so much trouble,” Apple Bloom said. The three friends were back in the treehouse. Apple Bloom was pacing the room, a ball of anxious energy. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo were just staring at her, unable to move or console her.
“Hey, how were we to know what we overheard was that personal?” Scootaloo asked. “We thought they were just messin’ around like we always do.”
“She was hurtin’ her, Scoots,” Apple Bloom said. “What was ah supposed to do, just walk away?”
“Maybe it was a good kind of hurt,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Huh?” Apple Bloom asked.
“You know, sometimes you get hurt, but you kinda like it. Like when you get a bump on the head. You know it’s gonna hurt if you touch it, but you touch it anyway because you want to feel it. You kinda want to feel it hurt, you know what I mean?” There was an uncomfortable silence.
“You’re weird,” Scootaloo said.
“Aw, come on,” Sweetie Belle said. “I thought you’d understand.”
“Well, ah don’t understand any of this!” Apple Bloom shouted. “Ah just wish someone would explain to me what’s goin’ on!”
“And we will,” came a voice from outside. The crusaders looked out the window to see Applejack and Rainbow Dash peering in, looking far more collected than they were earlier, even to the point where they looked sympathetic. Apple Bloom, who was trembling in fear, hesitantly let them into the treehouse. She sat next to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, who both patted her on the back in a show of support.
“Look, sis, ah just wanted to apologize for yellin’ at ya earlier,” Applejack said.
“You kinda caught us off guard,” Dash said, “and we didn’t take it well.”
“But you were hurtin’ her!” Apple Bloom yelled at Dash.
“Apple Bloom,” Applejack said, “ah reckon ya overheard a lot. Did ah ever ask her to stop?” Apple Bloom blushed fiercely, understanding how uncomfortable the question was, even if she didn’t know why.
“No...” she conceded.
“Well, that’s because ah was enjoyin’ myself,” Applejack said.
“See? I told you,” Sweetie Belle chided.
“But why would ya like gettin’ hurt?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Well, Sugarcube, Dash wasn’t exactly hurtin’ me, but it did kinda make me feel a little funny.”
“What?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Maybe we should start over,” Rainbow Dash suggested.
“Ah got it, Dash,” Applejack said, clearing her throat. “You foals know what Hearts and Hooves’ Day is all about, right?”
“It’s about spending time with your Very Special Somepony!” Sweetie Belle squeaked. Scootaloo stared at her in disbelief, and she withdrew quietly, fearing she had gotten a little too excited about the answer.
“Yes,” Applejack said. “Well, Rainbow Dash here is actually mah Very Special Somepony.”
“What?” the crusaders asked.
“But...” Scootaloo said, “Rainbow Dash is a...girl.”
“What’s your point, fuzzball?” Dash asked.
“I thought two Very Special Someponies had to be a boy and a girl.”
“Oh, right,” Dash said, chuckling. “Well, that doesn’t have to be true all the time.”
“Oh, ah get it,” Apple Bloom said. “You two are fillyfoolers!”
“Wait, what?” Scootaloo asked.
“That’s what they call mares who date other mares,” Apple Bloom said.
“I’ve never heard that one before,” Scootaloo said.
“Well, it’s not something ponies talk about a lot,” Dash said. “It took me a long time to admit I liked mares, and it took me even longer to be brave enough to admit I liked Applejack.”
“Ah knew it right away,” Applejack said. “All I had to do was wait for Dunderhead to come around.” Dash stuck her tongue out at her. Applejack was tempted to take that tongue in her mouth, but she decided the crusaders had seen and heard enough already.
“But that doesn’t explain what you two were doing in your room earlier,” Scootaloo said.
“We’re gettin’ to that,” Applejack said. “Now, when two ponies love each other very much...” Dash suddenly started laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Applejack asked.
“That is so cliché,” Dash said. “Seriously, you could have started with anything else, and I mean anything else, and it would have been better than that. Heck, you could have said that you and I were fu—”
“Okay, Dash, ah get yer point,” Applejack said, heading her off. “Now, where was ah? So, Dash and I really like each other, and one way of, um, expressing that is by...ah don’t know how to put this...”
“Let me explain it, AJ,” Dash said. “You see, Applejack and I were—”
“‘Wrasslin’!” Applejack blurted out, knowing how loose Dash’s tongue was. “Only...we weren’t wrasslin’ to hurt each other. This is more of a way to have fun with yer marefriend.”
“Can you teach us how to do that?” Scootaloo asked.
“No!” Applejack yelled before regaining her composure. “Ah mean, it’s somethin’ only adults should be doin’.”
“Yeah, you foals are too young to get involved in that kinda stuff,” Dash said.
“But why not?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“Well...” Applejack said, placing a hoof to her chin, “havin’, er...wrasslin’...brings up all kindsa feelin’s that are really complicated. Only adults can really deal with them, and sometimes even they have a hard time doin’ that.”
“What kinds of feelings, Applejack?” Dash asked. “I think you should try to explain it to them.”
“Dash, this is hard enough as it is,” Applejack hissed, but she saw the crusaders listening with rapt attention and decided she should clarify as much as possible. “Well, if ya do...that...enough, ya might start fallin’ in love with yer partner. And that can get really complicated. You gals ever had a crush?”
“Ew, no,” Scootaloo said.
“Not me,” Apple Bloom added.
Sweetie Belle remained silent.
“Sweetie Belle?” Scootaloo asked.
“Um...oh, me neither. Of course not.”
“Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo said. “Who is it?”
“Um...” Sweetie Belle said. “I always thought Chip Mint was kinda cute...” She started blushing furiously.
“Seriously?” Scootaloo asked. “That weirdo?”
“Scootaloo, don’t make fun of yer friend,” Applejack said. “Ya don’t get to pick who ya have a crush on.” Applejack then turned to face Sweetie Belle. “Now, Sweetie Belle, imagine the feelin’s you have now, and multiply ’em by about a hundred. That’s what bein’ in love feels like.”
“Whoa,” Sweetie Belle said, unable to fathom this kind of emotion. “I guess I understand why that could be tough to deal with.”
“Especially if ya wrassle before you’re ready,” Applejack said, “or with a pony who doesn’t really love you.”
“Do you and Dash love each other?” Apple Bloom asked. Dash and Applejack glanced at each other nervously. They both smiled and looked back at Apple Bloom.
“To be honest,” Applejack said, “Dash and ah never really talked about how we feel about each other. But ah think it’s safe to say that ah do love her.”
“I love you too, Applejack,” Dash said with a warm smile. The two lovers embraced and kissed each other on the cheek.
“You mean you didn’t talk about it before you started, um...wrestling?” Scootaloo asked.
“You know what, this is getting ridiculous,” Dash said. “It’s not called wrestling, it’s called having sex.”
“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack scolded, but it was too late. She’d already said it.
“That’s what it’s called?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“There’s other names for it,” Dash said, “some dirtier than others.”
“Ah like to call it makin’ love,” Applejack said with a small smile, “’cause that’s what yer really doin’.”
“But how come ya didn’t tell us you were datin’ in the first place?” Apple Bloom asked. “It was all this big secret until today. Why’s that?”
Applejack and Dash grimaced at the question. Applejack turned to Dash and silently implored her to help answer the question. Dash read her expression correctly and began to take it on. “AJ and I, we...we weren’t sure how anypony was gonna react. We decided to just see each other in secret until we could figure out how we felt about each other.”
“Besides,” Applejack said, “there’s a lotta folks don’t look kindly on a couple o’ fillyfoolers messin’ around. We didn’t exactly know who to trust.”
“You know, AJ,” Dash said. “now that I’m thinking about it, I think the crusaders have helped us figure out how we really feel about each other. Do you think maybe it’s time to tell our friends about us?”
“Well... ah suppose it couldn’t hurt to try,” Applejack said. “Ah guess we owe a lot to you gals. Ya helped us figure out what our relationship really meant, and ah don’t think that coulda happened without ya. Does everythin’ we told y’all make sense?”
“Well...not really,” Apple Bloom said. “But ah think we know enough now not to butt in on you, at least.”
“Works for me!” Dash said. “Look, I’ve gotta take off. I have the evening shift. I’ll see you tomorrow, AJ.”
“Can’t wait, Sugarcube. Ah love you.” Applejack gave Dash a peck on the cheek.
“Love you, too,” Dash said before leaving the treehouse and taking off like a jet. Applejack watched the streak she left in her wake until it faded.
“Shame you gals still don’t have your cutie marks,” Applejack said. The crusaders checked their flanks, but saw no special symbol upon them. “You’ll get ’em someday.”
“That’s what you always say,” Scootaloo moaned.
“Well, fine, would you rather ah say you’ll never get them and you’ll always be blank flanks?” Applejack asked with a smirk. Scootaloo looked crestfallen.
“Ah’m kiddin’. You gals have fun, and next time actually listen to yer elders. When ah tell you to stay out of the house, ah have mah reasons fer it. Y’all know that now, correct?”
“Absolutely,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well then ah’ll be on mah way. You gals take care of yerselves.” Applejack was walking out of the treehouse, when she suddenly doubled back.
“Almost forgot in all the excitement,” she said, “but ah saw what you three did to that cellar.”
“Oh, that...” Sweetie Belle said. “About that, we’re really sorry. We were just trying to fix the hole in the treehouse and we were looking for the toolbox.”
“Hole?” Applejack asked. Sweetie Belle pointed to the corner of the tree house. “Oh, that little thing? Ah can fix that easily. Y’all don’t have to worry about it. Come to think of it, you’ve been through enough today, so ah’m gonna ask that you clean the cellar tomorrow mornin’, all right?”
“Oh, do we have to?” Scootaloo whined.
“You do that,” Applejack said, “and ah’ll forgive ya fer walkin’ in on us.”
The three crusaders considered this deal for a moment.
“I guess that’s fair,” Scootaloo conceded.
“Then it’s settled. Have a good afternoon, girls.” With that, Applejack left the treehouse, leaving the crusaders alone to reflect on the events of the day.
“Well, that was awkward,” Sweetie Belle said. Apple Bloom nodded, but Scootaloo sneered.
“It wasn’t that bad,” Scootaloo said.
“What do you mean, ‘wasn’t that bad?’ That made me really uncomfortable.”
“Ah understand, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said, patting her despondent friend on the shoulder. “Ah think ah learned more than ah needed to learn today.”
“You two are so lame,” Scootaloo complained, crossing her forelegs and pouting. Apple Bloom went over and placed her hooves on Scootaloo’s shoulders, looking her square in the eye.
“It’s okay,” she said, “to admit you’re feelin’ weird.”
“Will you get off me?” Scootaloo whined, batting Apple Bloom’s hooves away. Sweetie Belle laughed. “Okay, fine, it was a little messed up. But I mean, it’s totally natural, right?”
“Sure,” Apple Bloom said. “It’s like mah sister said, it’s too ponies who love each other havin’ a little fun. Nothin’ wrong with that.”
“Fine, you guys,” Sweetie Belle said. “I guess it’s not so bad once you get used to the idea.”
“That’s the spirit!” Apple Bloom said. The three crusaders then fell silent, looking at each other intermittently. It got so quiet that it was inevitable that somepony would break the silence.
“So...” Scootaloo said, “who wants to try having sex?”
Author's Note
This was sitting in Google Drive mostly finished for a few months now, and I stumbled across it again after having forgotten about it. So I looked it over, edited it a bit, and decided to publish.
The story itself is...okay. Not my best work, but a far cry from my worst. To be honest, I feel like it's a little simplistic and not very deep, but I wanted to write something with the crusaders, and this seemed like a good idea to feature them learning something about the world. So hopefully I did a good job portraying that.
Anyway, I'm glad you read it and I hope you enjoyed!
