Welcome To Aperture!by DerpyJohnsonChaptersHello, my name is GLaDOSWho are you?Please don't burn my house down...Hello, my name is GLaDOS"Wow, today is such a great day to read the news in the morning." Bass got the news paper, then headed over to the mailbox, "Hey, we don't bet much mail here on the brim of the Everfree Forest..." Reading the mail, it clearly said... To Bass Drop, This is a letter to invite you to Aperture Laboratories to check your physical status, and see if you are capable of becoming a test subject in Aperture Laboratories, and see if our inventions have the capability to be used by the modern-day ponies of Equestria. If you don't accept, and believe that the future doesn't start with you, then don't force yourself to be a contestant. From your Aperture Laboratories Administrator, GLaDOS Bass Drop saw the special message from the Aperture Administrator herself, that Bass would be able to go to Aperture, and was so stoked to do so, "WOW! I'm gonna go and tell Vinyl about this!" Bass Drop trotted over to his room-mates dorm, and approached her door to tell her about what he got in the mail, therefor opening it yelling, "VINYL! STOP CLEANING THOSE DISHES, I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" There was a resounding silence, followed by a, "Yeah, what is it this time Bass?" Said Vinyl Scratch. Bass came forward with a, "dude, you have no idea what I just got in the mail..." Vinyl replied, "what is it?!?" "It's an invitation to Aperture Laboratories!" Said Bass. "Oh, well pssh. Everypony got that!" Replied Vinyl. Bass thought, 'wow, I just seriously thought that I got something important, that everypony gets again...' "Well, if it makes you feel any better, only the most fit of all ponies can participate!" Said Vinyl. "How do I get in?!?" Replied Bass with a giant smile on his face, he quickly got to feeling special again. "You have to talk to the head administrator in the Equestria Embassy." After Vinyl said that, what used to be the usual sluggish Bass Drop was now gone within a blink of an eye. Bass Drop quickly bought a train ticket with the money he had left from his last concert with Vinyl at the post-party for Twilight becoming an alicorn princess. "A ticket for one pony to Canterlot please?" Therefor handing over some bits to the train conductor. When he got his ticket, he headed in the train cart, sitting around some other famous celebrities that he was familiar with. Bass Drop's cutie mark of the white 8-bit record caught a younger amateur's attention, and said, "hey, aren't you that pony who went to DJ for that young princess Twilight at her post-party?" Bass Drop looked at him in a nice efficient smile, and said, "why yes, I am. Why ask?" "Well, I'm a huge fan of yours, and am looking for some advice to a dubstep courier!" Said the exited pony. Bass asked, "what's your name?" He replied with a, "Oh, my name is Anvil Spark." "I will make sure to tell my record contractors about you." so forth Anvil became extremely exited, jumping enthusiastically, stirring up annoyances and ponies started staring at him, therefor calming him down. Once Bass got off the train, he head straight for the Equestria Embassy, walking in with a big grin, talked to the front desk saying, "Do you know about the head person for the Aperture Science, cause I am looking for him or her." Having a confused look, eyes wondering around the embassy, the front desk lady replied with, "yes sir', 'she,' is in the projector room waiting for any visitors." Bass thanked her, and headed in the direction she pointed her hoof. Bass entered the room, and found not a pony, nor even a native equestrian, but a robot on the projector screen. "Hello, my name is GLaDOS." Who are you?Now, what was going through Bass' mind was a huge whoppin', 'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?' And such as, 'WHO HAD THE KIND OF TECHNOLOGY TO DO THIS?!?' But instead came out a, "so, how do I get in? where do I need to go?" "Well, you have to come to Aperture first, and what I see of you is fit enough for a good physical at this underground facility, so. What do you say?" said GLaDOS. Bass thought for a little bit, thinking if this was a good idea, and his stomach said to do it. "Sure, I'll come there as soon as possible!" "Here, I'll fax you a paper to give to the train conductor, to give a special ride to Aperture Laboratories..." Getting the fax, Bass went straight for the Train station, bumping into a familiar sight, "hey, it's you. That kid!" "Yeah, sorry man, thank you so much for what you've done, but I have to go home. Tell my other friend about this. See ya!" Anvil Spark swiftly approached the outskirts of Canterlot, and Bass never saw him again that day. Bass arrived at the train station, and gave the conductor the fax as soon as he got there. "Here you go mister, I'm going to go to Aperture Laboratories." "Are you out of your mind kid?!? Well, your own funeral." The train conductor checked the note for any spoofs, "all clear, board the train to get to Aperture sir'." When Bass got on the train, he saw only 6 other ponies, of which he didn't recognize. Not caring, he just went on with his life like he did aboard the other train. Soon he got bored of looking out the window of Equestria, and played some Ponymon on the Gamecolt Advanced. "Oh man, I leveled up my Rainbow Dash!" Everypony quickly stared at him for a while, one of them saying, "Is that Ponymon?" "Yeah, I just got it from the last party that I was hosting." He said briefly. "Oh, well I never heard of you before." Said the indigo pony with a confused face. "Probably because I only do post-celebration parties at Ponyville, sometimes my hometown Manehatten. Where do you live?" Replied Bass. "First of all, My name is Riptide Tsunami, and live in Saddle, Washington." He replied. "Oh wow, I like your name, it's very intriguing." "My teacher said it was the most interesting name she's heard of, and I have a good natural born skill in surfing or any kind of water activities." Riptide had a proud look on his face as if he were a crown jewel. "Hahahaha! My teacher said mine was the most rebellious, and I was rebellious. Got my work done though, and that's how I ended up here." Briefly after saying so, there was an awkward silence in the train, so he continued playing some more Ponymon on his Gamecolt. Bass got woken up, and was told by Riptide, "hey dude, wake up. We're at Aperture Laboratories!" "Oh cool, what time is it?" "12:30 PM," said another pony. Bass and Riptide got off the train together, and headed for the main entrance on the parking lot. Bass looked around at the trucks, and one of them said, "CAUTION: HEAVY SCIENTIFIC GEL OVER-LODE!" Not paying attention to that anymore, he saw a weird sphere robot that had a blue iris, and talked in an accent that was familiar to Doctor Whooves that said, "hello, my name is Wheatley, and I'll be taking you to the Enrichment Center, to watch a video of the basics of this physical we will be taking, so on this way, come on, come on. Don't be afraid now." Then pointing his iris in the general direction of the doorway. "Now, GLaDOS is a feisty little fella, so you'll have to watch out for her, because she will get mad, and you'll not be happy. Trust me, it's happened to me before, and am glad to be infront of you right now, for the soul fact that I was in space orbiting the moon, and I was brought back from her, and which I am glad of." Wheatley seemed like the type that would abuse power of such, but seemed to be a very nice guy to Bass. While looking at the scenery, Wheatley talked about how he met a pony on the moon, named Luna, and that she was a kind soul. He talked about many other things, but mostly hanged on that one. "Wow, I never thought science could be escalated to such a degree. I've never seen such things!" While Bass was talking to Riptide about how amazing it was, he was really having his eyes glued to it. One time he actually ran into a pole, then said, "WOW! look at this cool pole! It's so... TEXTUREY!" Riptide was mostly hanging on to what Wheatley was saying about his adventures of space, and how much of a delight it was, and how Luna was actually the reason he got to come back to Earth. Riptide thought, 'what's Earth?' "Alright every??? Everypony, it's time to get to your enrichment centers, and watch the video to learn how to bust this CHALLENGE!" Said Wheatley enthusiastically wobbling his head around. "Alright Riptide, see ya on the other side..." "See ya Bass!" Please don't burn my house down..."All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon, that burns your house down! The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that one out right now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence; we should've been working on it thirty years ago. And I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody will hear it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't do it. She's modest like that. But you make her! Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care. All right, test's over. You can head on back to your desk. " "Oh, that's the old care-taker of Aperture... Cave Johnson. GLaDOS Decided to do what he asked that day she heard it; of which I'm not going to tell you why. Long story short, I'm a bad leader." Wheatley then thought of his actions, and regreted them too, as he did in space. At the time of his power, he just felt the over authority to do such treacherous things. "So, when did Cave Johnson die?" Asked Riptide. "Nobody knows, it's said that he died sometime in the late 1980's." Replied Wheatley Surprisingly all test contestants passed the physical test, sadly except one. But the new seven continued on with their lives, eagerly awaiting the test chambers, but... "Alright, now to take a knowledge test." Said Wheatley 'WHAT?!? They never said anything about a KNOWLEDGE test!' Everybody else had a look of concern on their faces. One of them stating, "why did I never get a knowledge test warning?" "Well because of the fact that I meant that it was a brain test, and you don't have to study for a brain test... It's really a strategy thing." Them then being quiet afterwards were confident they could surely do so, but didn't let up, because if they took it too easy, then they might not pass. "Now welcome to your first test chamber, you will each be picked two at a time, and the rest of you wait until your two names are called for this next test." Said Wheatley. All of the test subjects were ready to take this test, but the first two took too long, because one of them couldn't participate. They then finished in the record time of 5 minutes, just to simply get past a dangerous pool of toxic water with a portal gun, get the cube, and then put it on the plate to finish. When they came back into the waiting room, everybody was saying, "good time score retard." "Did your dad ever show you how to cross a river?" "I put that time in my calculator, replied with, 'straight up stupid." "Alright, next two! Let's take Thunder Bolt, and Yperd Pie please! Oh man, I bet you two are so exited. Like to the point you brain is going to burst! Not really, that would be kinda bad. Hmm wow, that's surprising. They said that if I were to ever say that to somebody, I would die... Yeah, I'm kinda still here... Well continue on, let's go!" Wheatley led them over to the test chamber, and let them take the test, while recording such time on a digital stop watch in his head. One of the many gadgets his engineer gave him. their time was actually great, a lot faster than what the other ponies got. When they returned, they got high fives, and a lot of statements like, "good job." "Alright, now Bass Drop, like that name by the way, and Riptide! Ohhhh, that one's scary, I hate water. It's pretty scary." Wheatley sent them to the test coarse, and gave them a heads up, "See that water, don't fall in it, it'll kill you. Not to make you scared, but really just don't think about it. Man, I keep thinking about it." They got a dual hand-held portal device and some falling boots, then were prepared to use strategy, and work together to find a way in the door at the end of the test chamber. ", you go and stand on that pressure plate, and I'll get up there to stand on mine, afterward you come up here while I stand on it, while you're up, I'll shoot a portal under your feet and head, and teleport you over to the end, and you do the same as me, got it?" Said Bass with an enthusiastic face. Riptide sat there and processed it in his mind, then said, "okay Bass!" According to plan, it worked, and they successfully got to the end. Great job, you two got it done within 3 minutes! That's a little bit more late the ones that went in before you." Said Wheatley. They thought about how they could have done better, but they did good anyway, and passed with a medal to get in Aperture Laboratories. Though the one who took too much time got held back, and sent home after getting some cake by the party escort bot. "Alright! Those who got in are now Aperture Test Subjects, and will be testing at Aperture now with humans." Said Wheatley. His good behavior suddenly turned when he saw that the test subjects had the most confused look on their faces. "You don't know what humans are, don't you?" They all shook their heads in a big, "NO!" "Don't worry then, you'll see them in a little bit, and they'll think the same thing about you. Just a heads up, they're really stinky..." They then went on to the locker rooms to get dressed in their proper Aperture Laboratories Jumpsuits.
Hello, my name is GLaDOS"Wow, today is such a great day to read the news in the morning." Bass got the news paper, then headed over to the mailbox, "Hey, we don't bet much mail here on the brim of the Everfree Forest..." Reading the mail, it clearly said... To Bass Drop, This is a letter to invite you to Aperture Laboratories to check your physical status, and see if you are capable of becoming a test subject in Aperture Laboratories, and see if our inventions have the capability to be used by the modern-day ponies of Equestria. If you don't accept, and believe that the future doesn't start with you, then don't force yourself to be a contestant. From your Aperture Laboratories Administrator, GLaDOS Bass Drop saw the special message from the Aperture Administrator herself, that Bass would be able to go to Aperture, and was so stoked to do so, "WOW! I'm gonna go and tell Vinyl about this!" Bass Drop trotted over to his room-mates dorm, and approached her door to tell her about what he got in the mail, therefor opening it yelling, "VINYL! STOP CLEANING THOSE DISHES, I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!" There was a resounding silence, followed by a, "Yeah, what is it this time Bass?" Said Vinyl Scratch. Bass came forward with a, "dude, you have no idea what I just got in the mail..." Vinyl replied, "what is it?!?" "It's an invitation to Aperture Laboratories!" Said Bass. "Oh, well pssh. Everypony got that!" Replied Vinyl. Bass thought, 'wow, I just seriously thought that I got something important, that everypony gets again...' "Well, if it makes you feel any better, only the most fit of all ponies can participate!" Said Vinyl. "How do I get in?!?" Replied Bass with a giant smile on his face, he quickly got to feeling special again. "You have to talk to the head administrator in the Equestria Embassy." After Vinyl said that, what used to be the usual sluggish Bass Drop was now gone within a blink of an eye. Bass Drop quickly bought a train ticket with the money he had left from his last concert with Vinyl at the post-party for Twilight becoming an alicorn princess. "A ticket for one pony to Canterlot please?" Therefor handing over some bits to the train conductor. When he got his ticket, he headed in the train cart, sitting around some other famous celebrities that he was familiar with. Bass Drop's cutie mark of the white 8-bit record caught a younger amateur's attention, and said, "hey, aren't you that pony who went to DJ for that young princess Twilight at her post-party?" Bass Drop looked at him in a nice efficient smile, and said, "why yes, I am. Why ask?" "Well, I'm a huge fan of yours, and am looking for some advice to a dubstep courier!" Said the exited pony. Bass asked, "what's your name?" He replied with a, "Oh, my name is Anvil Spark." "I will make sure to tell my record contractors about you." so forth Anvil became extremely exited, jumping enthusiastically, stirring up annoyances and ponies started staring at him, therefor calming him down. Once Bass got off the train, he head straight for the Equestria Embassy, walking in with a big grin, talked to the front desk saying, "Do you know about the head person for the Aperture Science, cause I am looking for him or her." Having a confused look, eyes wondering around the embassy, the front desk lady replied with, "yes sir', 'she,' is in the projector room waiting for any visitors." Bass thanked her, and headed in the direction she pointed her hoof. Bass entered the room, and found not a pony, nor even a native equestrian, but a robot on the projector screen. "Hello, my name is GLaDOS."
Who are you?Now, what was going through Bass' mind was a huge whoppin', 'WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?' And such as, 'WHO HAD THE KIND OF TECHNOLOGY TO DO THIS?!?' But instead came out a, "so, how do I get in? where do I need to go?" "Well, you have to come to Aperture first, and what I see of you is fit enough for a good physical at this underground facility, so. What do you say?" said GLaDOS. Bass thought for a little bit, thinking if this was a good idea, and his stomach said to do it. "Sure, I'll come there as soon as possible!" "Here, I'll fax you a paper to give to the train conductor, to give a special ride to Aperture Laboratories..." Getting the fax, Bass went straight for the Train station, bumping into a familiar sight, "hey, it's you. That kid!" "Yeah, sorry man, thank you so much for what you've done, but I have to go home. Tell my other friend about this. See ya!" Anvil Spark swiftly approached the outskirts of Canterlot, and Bass never saw him again that day. Bass arrived at the train station, and gave the conductor the fax as soon as he got there. "Here you go mister, I'm going to go to Aperture Laboratories." "Are you out of your mind kid?!? Well, your own funeral." The train conductor checked the note for any spoofs, "all clear, board the train to get to Aperture sir'." When Bass got on the train, he saw only 6 other ponies, of which he didn't recognize. Not caring, he just went on with his life like he did aboard the other train. Soon he got bored of looking out the window of Equestria, and played some Ponymon on the Gamecolt Advanced. "Oh man, I leveled up my Rainbow Dash!" Everypony quickly stared at him for a while, one of them saying, "Is that Ponymon?" "Yeah, I just got it from the last party that I was hosting." He said briefly. "Oh, well I never heard of you before." Said the indigo pony with a confused face. "Probably because I only do post-celebration parties at Ponyville, sometimes my hometown Manehatten. Where do you live?" Replied Bass. "First of all, My name is Riptide Tsunami, and live in Saddle, Washington." He replied. "Oh wow, I like your name, it's very intriguing." "My teacher said it was the most interesting name she's heard of, and I have a good natural born skill in surfing or any kind of water activities." Riptide had a proud look on his face as if he were a crown jewel. "Hahahaha! My teacher said mine was the most rebellious, and I was rebellious. Got my work done though, and that's how I ended up here." Briefly after saying so, there was an awkward silence in the train, so he continued playing some more Ponymon on his Gamecolt. Bass got woken up, and was told by Riptide, "hey dude, wake up. We're at Aperture Laboratories!" "Oh cool, what time is it?" "12:30 PM," said another pony. Bass and Riptide got off the train together, and headed for the main entrance on the parking lot. Bass looked around at the trucks, and one of them said, "CAUTION: HEAVY SCIENTIFIC GEL OVER-LODE!" Not paying attention to that anymore, he saw a weird sphere robot that had a blue iris, and talked in an accent that was familiar to Doctor Whooves that said, "hello, my name is Wheatley, and I'll be taking you to the Enrichment Center, to watch a video of the basics of this physical we will be taking, so on this way, come on, come on. Don't be afraid now." Then pointing his iris in the general direction of the doorway. "Now, GLaDOS is a feisty little fella, so you'll have to watch out for her, because she will get mad, and you'll not be happy. Trust me, it's happened to me before, and am glad to be infront of you right now, for the soul fact that I was in space orbiting the moon, and I was brought back from her, and which I am glad of." Wheatley seemed like the type that would abuse power of such, but seemed to be a very nice guy to Bass. While looking at the scenery, Wheatley talked about how he met a pony on the moon, named Luna, and that she was a kind soul. He talked about many other things, but mostly hanged on that one. "Wow, I never thought science could be escalated to such a degree. I've never seen such things!" While Bass was talking to Riptide about how amazing it was, he was really having his eyes glued to it. One time he actually ran into a pole, then said, "WOW! look at this cool pole! It's so... TEXTUREY!" Riptide was mostly hanging on to what Wheatley was saying about his adventures of space, and how much of a delight it was, and how Luna was actually the reason he got to come back to Earth. Riptide thought, 'what's Earth?' "Alright every??? Everypony, it's time to get to your enrichment centers, and watch the video to learn how to bust this CHALLENGE!" Said Wheatley enthusiastically wobbling his head around. "Alright Riptide, see ya on the other side..." "See ya Bass!"
Please don't burn my house down..."All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon, that burns your house down! The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that one out right now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence; we should've been working on it thirty years ago. And I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody will hear it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't do it. She's modest like that. But you make her! Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care. All right, test's over. You can head on back to your desk. " "Oh, that's the old care-taker of Aperture... Cave Johnson. GLaDOS Decided to do what he asked that day she heard it; of which I'm not going to tell you why. Long story short, I'm a bad leader." Wheatley then thought of his actions, and regreted them too, as he did in space. At the time of his power, he just felt the over authority to do such treacherous things. "So, when did Cave Johnson die?" Asked Riptide. "Nobody knows, it's said that he died sometime in the late 1980's." Replied Wheatley Surprisingly all test contestants passed the physical test, sadly except one. But the new seven continued on with their lives, eagerly awaiting the test chambers, but... "Alright, now to take a knowledge test." Said Wheatley 'WHAT?!? They never said anything about a KNOWLEDGE test!' Everybody else had a look of concern on their faces. One of them stating, "why did I never get a knowledge test warning?" "Well because of the fact that I meant that it was a brain test, and you don't have to study for a brain test... It's really a strategy thing." Them then being quiet afterwards were confident they could surely do so, but didn't let up, because if they took it too easy, then they might not pass. "Now welcome to your first test chamber, you will each be picked two at a time, and the rest of you wait until your two names are called for this next test." Said Wheatley. All of the test subjects were ready to take this test, but the first two took too long, because one of them couldn't participate. They then finished in the record time of 5 minutes, just to simply get past a dangerous pool of toxic water with a portal gun, get the cube, and then put it on the plate to finish. When they came back into the waiting room, everybody was saying, "good time score retard." "Did your dad ever show you how to cross a river?" "I put that time in my calculator, replied with, 'straight up stupid." "Alright, next two! Let's take Thunder Bolt, and Yperd Pie please! Oh man, I bet you two are so exited. Like to the point you brain is going to burst! Not really, that would be kinda bad. Hmm wow, that's surprising. They said that if I were to ever say that to somebody, I would die... Yeah, I'm kinda still here... Well continue on, let's go!" Wheatley led them over to the test chamber, and let them take the test, while recording such time on a digital stop watch in his head. One of the many gadgets his engineer gave him. their time was actually great, a lot faster than what the other ponies got. When they returned, they got high fives, and a lot of statements like, "good job." "Alright, now Bass Drop, like that name by the way, and Riptide! Ohhhh, that one's scary, I hate water. It's pretty scary." Wheatley sent them to the test coarse, and gave them a heads up, "See that water, don't fall in it, it'll kill you. Not to make you scared, but really just don't think about it. Man, I keep thinking about it." They got a dual hand-held portal device and some falling boots, then were prepared to use strategy, and work together to find a way in the door at the end of the test chamber. ", you go and stand on that pressure plate, and I'll get up there to stand on mine, afterward you come up here while I stand on it, while you're up, I'll shoot a portal under your feet and head, and teleport you over to the end, and you do the same as me, got it?" Said Bass with an enthusiastic face. Riptide sat there and processed it in his mind, then said, "okay Bass!" According to plan, it worked, and they successfully got to the end. Great job, you two got it done within 3 minutes! That's a little bit more late the ones that went in before you." Said Wheatley. They thought about how they could have done better, but they did good anyway, and passed with a medal to get in Aperture Laboratories. Though the one who took too much time got held back, and sent home after getting some cake by the party escort bot. "Alright! Those who got in are now Aperture Test Subjects, and will be testing at Aperture now with humans." Said Wheatley. His good behavior suddenly turned when he saw that the test subjects had the most confused look on their faces. "You don't know what humans are, don't you?" They all shook their heads in a big, "NO!" "Don't worry then, you'll see them in a little bit, and they'll think the same thing about you. Just a heads up, they're really stinky..." They then went on to the locker rooms to get dressed in their proper Aperture Laboratories Jumpsuits.
