Welcome To Aperture!

"All right, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons; what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am?!? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... With the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon, that burns your house down! The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the engineers figuring that one out right now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence; we should've been working on it thirty years ago. And I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody will hear it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue. She'll say she can't do it. She's modest like that. But you make her! Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care. All right, test's over. You can head on back to your desk. "

"Oh, that's the old care-taker of Aperture... Cave Johnson. GLaDOS Decided to do what he asked that day she heard it; of which I'm not going to tell you why. Long story short, I'm a bad leader." Wheatley then thought of his actions, and regreted them too, as he did in space. At the time of his power, he just felt the over authority to do such treacherous things.

"So, when did Cave Johnson die?" Asked Riptide.

"Nobody knows, it's said that he died sometime in the late 1980's." Replied Wheatley

Surprisingly all test contestants passed the physical test, sadly except one. But the new seven continued on with their lives, eagerly awaiting the test chambers, but... "Alright, now to take a knowledge test." Said Wheatley

'WHAT?!? They never said anything about a KNOWLEDGE test!' Everybody else had a look of concern on their faces. One of them stating, "why did I never get a knowledge test warning?"

"Well because of the fact that I meant that it was a brain test, and you don't have to study for a brain test... It's really a strategy thing."

Them then being quiet afterwards were confident they could surely do so, but didn't let up, because if they took it too easy, then they might not pass.

"Now welcome to your first test chamber, you will each be picked two at a time, and the rest of you wait until your two names are called for this next test." Said Wheatley.

All of the test subjects were ready to take this test, but the first two took too long, because one of them couldn't participate. They then finished in the record time of 5 minutes, just to simply get past a dangerous pool of toxic water with a portal gun, get the cube, and then put it on the plate to finish.

When they came back into the waiting room, everybody was saying, "good time score retard."

"Did your dad ever show you how to cross a river?"

"I put that time in my calculator, replied with, 'straight up stupid."

"Alright, next two! Let's take Thunder Bolt, and Yperd Pie please! Oh man, I bet you two are so exited. Like to the point you brain is going to burst! Not really, that would be kinda bad. Hmm wow, that's surprising. They said that if I were to ever say that to somebody, I would die... Yeah, I'm kinda still here... Well continue on, let's go!" Wheatley led them over to the test chamber, and let them take the test, while recording such time on a digital stop watch in his head. One of the many gadgets his engineer gave him.

their time was actually great, a lot faster than what the other ponies got. When they returned, they got high fives, and a lot of statements like, "good job."

"Alright, now Bass Drop, like that name by the way, and Riptide! Ohhhh, that one's scary, I hate water. It's pretty scary." Wheatley sent them to the test coarse, and gave them a heads up, "See that water, don't fall in it, it'll kill you. Not to make you scared, but really just don't think about it. Man, I keep thinking about it."

They got a dual hand-held portal device and some falling boots, then were prepared to use strategy, and work together to find a way in the door at the end of the test chamber.

", you go and stand on that pressure plate, and I'll get up there to stand on mine, afterward you come up here while I stand on it, while you're up, I'll shoot a portal under your feet and head, and teleport you over to the end, and you do the same as me, got it?" Said Bass with an enthusiastic face.

Riptide sat there and processed it in his mind, then said, "okay Bass!"

According to plan, it worked, and they successfully got to the end. Great job, you two got it done within 3 minutes! That's a little bit more late the ones that went in before you." Said Wheatley.

They thought about how they could have done better, but they did good anyway, and passed with a medal to get in Aperture Laboratories. Though the one who took too much time got held back, and sent home after getting some cake by the party escort bot.

"Alright! Those who got in are now Aperture Test Subjects, and will be testing at Aperture now with humans." Said Wheatley. His good behavior suddenly turned when he saw that the test subjects had the most confused look on their faces. "You don't know what humans are, don't you?"

They all shook their heads in a big, "NO!"

"Don't worry then, you'll see them in a little bit, and they'll think the same thing about you. Just a heads up, they're really stinky..." They then went on to the locker rooms to get dressed in their proper Aperture Laboratories Jumpsuits.