Tell me a Story, Rainbow Dash!
Scootaloo was speeding around on her scooter, scanning the sky for a very particular pony; it has been a while since she last saw her. When she spotted a suspicious looking cloud with a rainbow tail.
“Hey! Rainbow Dash! Wake up!” she shouted as loud as she could, while bouncing up and down in excitement.
A muffled grumbling came from the cloud, before Rainbow Dash poked her head over the edge of her flufly bed.
“Oh, hey Squirt. What’s up?” she asked nonchalantly.
“What’s up?” the young filly remarked annoyed. “The whole town’s been talking about you and Derpy, and what you’ve done.” She kicked a little pebble, during the awkward pause. “Why didn’t you take me with you?”
A loud laugh came from the cloud, “Seriously? You’re way too small for things like that, kid.”
“That’s what you always say,” Scootaloo huffed.
“Listen, I’m sorry, I hated being told that too, at your age. But I couldn’t just take you with me.” Rainbow tried to think of something to cheer her up, she felt kinda bad about leaving Scootaloo sulking around like this. “Hey! how about I give you some more flying theory lessons, you like those don’t you?”
“Well, yeah... I guess. Can’t we do some practice instead?” She asked hopefully.
Rainbow gave her an uncertain look ,then unfurled her wings and beat them a few times hovering in the air without effort; when Scootaloo tried to do the same she only managed to stay in air a few seconds before falling down again. No matter how hard her tiny wings buzzed.
“Fine, I get it. I’ll get out of your mane then.” As said, she puts her helmet on and climbs on her scooter; buzzing off at a remarkable speed.
Rainbow Dash watched her for a moment, from atop her cloud, before making a decision. She jumped and dived, building up more than enough speed to catch up and with Scootaloo easily.
“Hey, I didn’t mean it that way. Tell you what, since you’re so down in the dumps today, how about a one of a kind super awesome special deal: If you want to, we can totally hang out today.” She raises her voice high enough to be heard over the noise of the wind, whistling through ears at high speed.
The offer caused Scootaloo to slam on the brakes in stunned surprise; which in turn catches Rainbow Dash off guard, making her crash into a nearby row of bushes. She was already beginning to regret making that offer.
“Rainbow Dash, are you ok?” the filly called out, looking at the large hole in the foliage.
A loud groan came from it, and then a cyan blur shout out of the underwood and into the air. After spitting out some leaves, Rainbow replied. “Yeah, yeah. Just keep this between us,” Scootaloo’s laughter irritated her even more. “Oh, sure, rub it in, will you?”
“No! It’s just... you got something sticking out of your mane.” she managed say between giggles.
Rainbow ran her hooves through her mane, shaking two twigs shaped like antlers off in the process. Then she addressed the filly staring at her, “So, the offer still stands, but not for long. Wanna hang out?”
“Do I!?” Scootaloo yelled back in glee, and started to jump in circles around the older mare. Then a grin crossed her face; and she said, “I already know what we could do!”.
“What’ya got in mind?” Rainbow skeptically raised an eyebrow.
“You have to tell me the story of your adventures” Scootaloo replied.
“Ah. Well alright, I guess. You’re sure you don’t want to do something with a little more action, instead of having a boring story-time?” She posed dramatically to get the point across.
“Nuh-uh! I want to hear the whole story, but you have to tell only the truth, and leave nothing out; even the scary parts that aren’t for fillies,” Scootaloo said confidently.
“Fine, fine. Just don’t blame me if you get nightmares,” she gave the filly a grin, “Just let me grab my cloud real quick, before we begin.” she said,before shooting off into the distance.
When Rainbow returned and positioned herself in a comfortable manner on the cloud, Scootaloo was about to explode with eagerness. She couldn’t wait to hear the story of the real adventures of her personal role model, the tension cause her to stand on her hooves rather to sit down on the grass.
Rainbow cleared her voice, and began with: “Where should I start? …
Three weeks. That’s the amount of time I got off my weather job for breaking my wing. I didn’t really need to recover but hey, if I can skip weather patrol and still get paid. Awesome! The first week was pretty sweet in fact. Reading the entire Daring Do series; at Twilight’s place during the day, and taking a book home, to read in the evening. It was cool. Daring Do is really awesome, you should try reading it someday too.
Anyways, by the time the second week rolled around I was out of reading material. I thought maybe I do some good old-fashioned pranks, wouldn’t want to get out of practice, you know. Well thing is, everypony was busy working or studying or wrapped up in something else. One, doing pranks without Pinkie Pie is like flying without going as fast as possible, all the time. Two, when ponies are already busy on their own they really don’t want another pony around messing around with silly pranks.
So, after a couple of days of pranks; Twilight kind of ‘advised’ me to go to a Daring Do fan meeting in Manehattan. Usually those egghead gatherings are nothing for me -unless it’s about the Wonderbolts- but i figured that since I’ve got time to kill and it’s Daring Do, I might as well go.
“And that’s where your adventure started?” Scootaloo piped up.
“What? No, I’ll get to the adventure later” Rainbow resumes telling, ” Where was I? you made me loose my train of thought...
I was in front of the Manehattan library, the place were the meeting was held. They were even giving some signed copies away. Of course even foals know that nopony has any clue who the author of the Daring Do series really is, since the author signs the books as Daring herself, but there is no such pony to be found in any Equestrian census register. I knew this because Twilight told me so. Although that didn’t stop myself from making up cunning theories, as to why such secrecy is necessary to conceal Daring Do's heroic adventures, because what does Twilight know anyways? Every cool enough pony knows that Daring Do is real.
The best part of it, is that I was totally going to pull those eggheads’ legs thanks to the Coolest, most Awesome and Radical Daring Do Costume ponykind will ever see. Not only did Rarity make my costume as authentic as possible, she even helped me dye my mane and coat. My cutie mark had been overpainted too. It took a bit of convincing to make Rarity help me, she was pretty busy after all. When I offered to become her personal weather servant she was all ears though. Thank Celestia I found a way to sneak out of that later. Can you image how boring it would have been having to clear the sky every time she wants to sunbathe or making a little storm just for her, whenever she’s in her drama mood, and wants to curl up in front of a warm fireplace? Pretty boring, huh?
Well, the reason i went through all that trouble wasn’t only the prank itself, at the time I also had a rather silly idea, but it’s so stupid in hindsight. I’m not gonna tell it-
“Now you have to tell me the other reason too!” Scootaloo interrupts again.
“No, I told you it’s stupid.” Rainbow Dash replies
“But you promised you’d tell me the whole story and leave nothing out” She said, and looked at the older mare defiantly.
Rainbow gave the sky a pleading look, she was definitely going to regret this. “... What have I gotten myself into, this time?” After regaining some composure she continued, “Alright ,Squirt, but only on two conditions, you won’t tell anypony, anybody and anything about this; and you won’t interrupt me every other sentence anymore.”
“Deal.” The filly replied, cheerful about getting what she wanted.
Rainbow once again resumed her story...
Alright -so I was thinking- if ponies run around pretending to be another pony, the latter gets mad, right? Or least that’s what i felt like, when I found out about Twilight’s genius idea of letting Spike fill my role. So if I pretend to be Daring Do, she’s gonna get mad at me, and she would confront me about it. I would then confess that I did it only to meet her personally, Daring will be surprised at that response and commend me for my inventiveness. After we’d start talking and compete in a race or two, she would recognize me as the fastest and most awesome pegasus and invite me to become a permanent trusty companion in her adventures. And when we are not adventuring, we would join up with the Wonderbolts and live as the most awesome ponies happily ever after.
Yeah, you can wipe that smirk off your face now; before you get any funny ideas, try asking Spike why he doesn’t pretend to be me anymore.
Now, I thought really hard about what kind of entrance Daring Do would do. In the end, I just did what felt natural to me. I dashed through the library doors, did some aerial tricks between narrow bookcases, a couple somersaults from chandelier to chandelier and landed flawlessly on the conference table where I interrupted some boring speech, and delivered a line straight from the book.
"I love the smell of fresh muffins in the morning, smells like... Adventure!" You should’ve seen the slack-jawed look those ponies gave me, they were all in awed silence for a few seconds, before some came to their sense and started pounding their hooves on the ground. They sure liked my show.
I spent most of the following time being adored and complimented by the crowd, there’s worse ways to pass the time. Most of the ponies were stallions, which I found strange because I thought Daring Do's adventures were more appealing to mares like myself. Sadly, nopony fell for my disguise they thought it was impossible that Daring Do is for real, damn eggheads, but most of them gladly played along.
Still, I had lots of fun, I got some signed copies of the latest books as a gift for being so awesome, and some ponies even asked me to have a picture taken with me. But after a while, I felt tired of having such a crowd around me, so I snuck away into one of the empty aisles.
As I rested there for a couple of seconds, I wish Twilight or some of my other friends would have had time to come with me. I didn't want to be assaulted by a crowd of ponies again, but neither did I feel like heading home already, it would be a shame to wash off the dye so soon.
I got up to take a stroll through the library looking for a lone friendly looking pony to chat up, when I see a familiar looking mare. It definitely was her, the features being unmistakable. I wondered what Derpy Hooves was doing here. I thought I could at least fool her to believe my disguise, if I played my cards right.
I carefully exit the aisle trying not to draw attention on me. Flying straight to her was out of question, that would ruin the surprise. So I decided to take the long way around the shelves and surprise her from behind. Making my way without being noticed, I reached my destination. The gray mare was sitting at a table all alone, watching the conference from afar. With sneaky hoof-steps I quickly moved forward. I gently tapped her on the shoulder. Slowly, probably to not knock anything over in the process, she turns and meets my eyes, or at least tries to.
"Heya Derpy!" I say with enthusiasm, making Derpy's eyes snap to attention at last.
She greeted me back shyly, then blinked and both her eyes became vacant again. You’ve seen the crazy things she does with her eyes, right? Over the years I have learned that it’s a sign of confusion. Well, sometimes it also means boredom or regret, or some other emotion. Other times they just move around to spite her owner or to relax, but I was pretty sure it was confusion right then.
"Do I know you?" She said, leaning her head sideways as one eye starts to watch me carefully and the other one minds it’s own business, that always cracks me up.
"Well, Daring Do knows all cool ponies, but I didn't know you were a fan of me." Twilight's voice changing spell worked perfectly or else Derpy would have recognized me right away with my raspy voice. But the unicorn really did a nice job in concealing my natural tone with a deeper and more mellow one, temporarily of course.
Turns out she likes the books too, the world is small that way, I guess. She keeps getting more uncomfortable though -she just doesn’t like talking to ponies she doesn’t know- so I drop the act. Normally I would’ve kept up the joke but Derpy is a special case.
"It's me Rainbow Dash, no need to tremble your feathers off." I tried to reassure her, even through all the years I have known Derpy it is still kind of hard to tell what is going on in her mind, while I know by now that there is more to the her intelligence than what the outside suggests, figuring her quirks out requires a lot of work.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Rainbow noticed the baffled stare Scootaloo was giving her.
“Did you just say that Derpy is smart?” Scootaloo looked utterly confused on the notion of it, “I mean, where talking about the ditzy postmare, right?”
“Yeah, you got a problem with her?” Rainbow asks in a cool tone.
“No! it’s just that... well, you know how she acts.” Dash just shot her a disappointed look, but instead of giving up the little filly rallied and continued- “ I don’t even know why you picked her to be your sidekick, I would’ve been much better at it!”
Rainbow burst into a loud laughter, causing her to almost fall off her cloud. The humiliation made Scootaloo’s cheeks burn, her idol considered her even less capable than such a troubled pony like Derpy. She felt like the older mare would never take her seriously. She began to fight against the tears welling up in her eyes, it was a futile battle. she tried to quickly dry her eyes with the backside of her hoof. She hoped Rainbow didn’t see her like this, maybe she was still too busy laughing at her. That thought didn’t help at all, and soon she felt her face become damp.
She was just about to bolt away, out of shame and anger, on her scooter, when she felt another pony sit next to her, and wrap her foreleg around the smaller filly.
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you crying. Here, wipe your face off.” Dash handed her a small piece of cloud. It felt like cotton candy in her hooves. “Don’t worry, I promise I wont tell anypony about it.”
Scotaloo croaked out a muffled “Thanks.”
“I got nothing against you, Squirt. In fact for a pony of your age, you’re pretty cool.”
At those words, her little heart almost made a jump. She could barely believe Rainbow was talking about her.
When she calmed down, she asked “But, I don’t understand, why Derpy?”
“If you let me finish the story, you’ll understand. Are you sure you want me to continue? I knew this wasn’t such a good idea all along, and wouldn’t you like to play something more?” Dash gave the kid’s mane a playful rub.
Scootaloo thought a lot about it, but her curiosity was already piqued and she really wanted to know where this was going. “Can you continue the story, please?”
“Well, it’s your call.” She hopped on her cloud, and starts telling again.
So, where was I? Oh yeah!
At the mention of my name, Derpy eases up. I winced when she almost falls out of the chair in excitement, but she somehow manages to catch her balance and grins sheepishly.
We easily slipped into conversation, with me talking about what all happened after town hall disaster, my injury, how I started to appreciate reading and that I got a few weeks off weather patrol to recover. These talks with Derpy were one of the things I have missed the most since I got my vacation. We usually always share weather patrol turns, that's where I first met her too.
The first times I was just irritated by her clumsiness and absent mind, but after a while I found out that she actually is a really good listener, and about the only pony around who is genuinely interested in my stories. What? Oh, I think you were still in diapers back then. After that we became fast friends, although I felt like I never have managed to completely break the ice between us, since we pretty much only meet on our weather job and never do anything else together. Derpy is strange like that, I am probably the closest friend the gray mare has but even I didn't know really much about her. While she is a great listener, every time I tried to get Derpy to talk she was quick to change the subject or asked me to tell one of my best stories again. And I could never resist a request like that.
I see this coincidence as the best way to finally learn more and hopefully strengthen one of my oldest friendships. So I decided to grasp the occasion and play on one of her greatest weaknesses.
"You know if I knew you'd be here too, I would've brought you a muffin to apologise for being so bossy and yelling at you at the town hall accident." That was one of our oldest traditions. Having a short temper, I have yelled and complained at Derpy's shoddy work more often than I'd like to admit. Still it’s completely insane how much that mare could mess up a relatively simple job, even with her long term experience as both weather patrol pegasus and mailmare. So to make it up to her, I would always bring her a muffin and apologise on the next shift.
“Oh that's okay Rainbow Dash, I forgive you, it was my fault after all,” she said, then it sunk into her brain that I mentioned muffins. As expected, Derpy's eyes widen and scanned her surroundings for those treats, and her usually slow talk changes to a higher pitched quicker tone. I call this state ‘Muffin Frenzy’. “But we could still go for a muffin at the baker, I saw one on the way here and their muffins look almost as good as those at Sugarcube Corner, they even have blueberry muffins, they almost never have any blueberry left after work at Ponyville, Please let's go."
I had little say in the matter after that, since she basically pushed me out of the library.
“Come on! I thought you're supposed to be fast." She stuck her tongue out at me and smiles, then spread her wings and was airborne.
I needed no further encouragement and take off too. I already raced Derpy plenty of times and even when there are muffins involved in the race, the slower pegasus just can't compete. Things tend to get pretty boring if you can do your job in ten seconds flat on good days, so you have to come up with ways to pass the time. It is no surprise that I stood triumphantly in front of the baker, with enough time to spare to check that my clothes and hat are still presentable.
"That was fun Derpy, So what's my prize?" I smirked.
"Hmm..." The other mare tapped her chin pensively, "you can buy me another muffin!" she said cheerfully.
"Hey, not fair!" I exclaim.
We both entered the store giggling.
The local was clean and the baked goods on display looked appetizing, but the space was rather bare: some pastries in the display case, a till on a counter; some stools for chairs and tables were the only kind of furniture. It wasn’t as inviting and comfy as Sugarcube Corner, but it had to do. There also weren’t any other ponies around except for a couple of mares chatting idly around a table.
Derpy parked herself in front of the display case and carefully observed entire rows of muffins, both of her eyes scanned a muffin at a time looking for the best of the batch. As soon as she found some satisfying specimen she tapped her hoof against the display pointing at the carefully chosen muffins.
I paid for the muffins and both of us seated down at one of the empty tables. Well that had been the plan at least. Derpy tried to jump on the seat in excitement -slipped- and fell face first on the floor, taking both table and seat with her. I knew nothing happened to her. That pegasus already has had far worse incidents, and even them left her without a scratch. If there's one thing I can count on apart from my own awesomeness, it’s her toughness. Even the shell of my pet Tank can't compete with Derpy Hooves' lead flanks. The downside to that is that pretty much everything around her tends to fall apart with one careless movement. Both chair and table didn't stand a chance against the force of nature that is Derpy Hooves.
Swiftly thinking and acting before the cashier or one of the other mares could react, I dropped the bag of muffins in my hat, and rushed to my clumsy friend. "Oh by Celestia, are you hurt?" before Derpy could even try to reply I quickly shut her mouth close with my hoof. I know that it’s quite unpleasant, I learned that the hard way by being around Applejack too much, but it’s an emergency. I lean my ear closer to her and improvise.
"What? You're saying you can't feel your spleen anymore!? Quick let's go to the hospital before it's too late!"
I vanished out of the door holding Derpy's forelegs under my own. Leaving the other three ponies dumbstruck behind. Funny thing is, I actually left a monochrome rainbow trail behind me, I should experiment with colouring my tail more often.
I flew as fast and far away as I can, I admit it was kind of a cowardly thing to do, but what else could I do? I didn't have any money to pay for broken furniture, I barely had enough on me to pay for the muffins. I don’t know why I’m a constant pauper—
“What’s a pauper?” Scootaloo asked
“It means a poor pony. Wait did I just say pauper?” Rainbow looked about in disbelief. “I’m... I’m not turning into an egghead, am I?” She cautiously felt if the shape of her head hadn’t changed. Then sighed in relief when everything was still as awesome as usual. “Let me tell you, kiddo, reading’s alright, but don’t overdo it or you’ll be using fancy words nobody knows the meaning of; and it’ll be like you speak a whole new language that nobody else understands. And then you’ll be alone. Forever.”
“Aren’t you exaggerating a bit now?” the filly said, with a dubious look on her face.
“You think so? Did you ever hear Twilight ramble about in one of her lectures? Why you think she didn’t have any friends in Canterlot?”
Scootaloo gasped, “You’re right! But how can I prevent that? They force me to read at school, and I fear Sweetie Belle and Applebloom are already becoming eggheads.”
The older mare frowned, thinking about what to say “That’s bad, but you can still do something about it. First, keep calm and don’t get anxious, by loosing your cool you’ll become unsure of yourself and more likely to turn to books, instead of relying on your own wits.
“Second. Exercise, play, practice flying, run, anything. As long as it doesn’t involve anything lame and egghead-y it’s good for you, your body, and mind.
“ Third. Nap, whenever and as often you can. Napping helps you clear your thoughts and put everything back into perspective; a good nap is worth a thousand words... or something like that.
“Lastly -if your suspicion is true- keep in mind that even if the may be eggheads now, they are still your friends, and you have to take care of them. Try to get through them, crash through their windows at the strangest times, show them that life is full of surprises and joy, and that there’s no need to hide behind stacks of books. Hit their heart, not their brain, you understand?”
Scootaloo sat there for a moment, her mouth open in disbelief. Then she talked, “Rainbow Dash, you’re so full of... Awesome! That’s the best advice I ever heard.”
“Heh,” Rainbow smiled smugly, “Anytime, Squirt, anytime. Now back to the story.”
As I was saying, I got no clue why I was always broke. Well, okay, blowing all my money on Wonderbolts merchandise (Thank Celestia, I can read the Daring Do books for free at Twilight's place) and slacking off at work as much as possible probably doesn’t help. Derpy on the other hand probably either forgot to bring her bits with her, or didn't even consider bringing some. Speaking of Derpy, I began to worry about her, she hadn’t moved or talked since we got away from the baker.
"Hey Derpy, did you forget how to beat your wings? I could use a break, you're heavy!" And, let me tell you, it’s true. She’s the heaviest pegasus I know but also the one with the strongest wings, as much as I hate to admit it. My own wings are ideal for speeding, and I'd lose big time in an endurance contest against her. Not that I'm not good at endurance too. But all the years Derpy has spent delivering heavy packages and full mail saddlebags, sometimes for distances worth several days of flight have turned her into an intimidating flier and strong mare. Even if she doesn’t look like it. The only other pony in Ponyville that I am sure she couldn't beat in a hoof wrestling match is Big Macintosh, and the funny thing is that neither of them actually ever show off their strength. What a waste.
Well, Derpy finally snaps out of her paralysis at my words, and starts beating her wings. She doesn’t even seem to notice that I’m still holding her, and easily keeps us both in the air.
"I'm sorry I ruined everything Rainbow Dash. Again." she said, her ears and head drooping low in shame.
"Don't worry Derpy, we got out of it alright. That's what you have a friend like me for. Let's head to the Park, I still got a surprise that might cheer you up." I must’ve said something right, because she gradually became chirpier.
It was great to let someone else do the flying for a change. All my other friends can’t fly and thinking of Fluttershy supporting a grown mare like me, and her own weight, makes me chuckle. Plus I got to admit that Derpy's broad shoulders and back are rather comfy.
We arrived to the park before too long and decided to rest under the shadow of a large oak tree not too far away from a little brook. Derpy watched in amazement as I show her the bag of muffins I had managed to snatch away in the commotion. She looked at me like if I was a hero. If you can’t tell by now, she’s kind of obsessed with muffins.
I only got halfway through my muffin, when Derpy already devoured the contents of the entire bag, and stared at me and my muffin both, giving me a pleading look. Oh well, they weren’t that good anyways, so I give her the rest and she gladly chomps down on it, while I go and take a sip from the stream.
She was preening her feathers when I returned. The place was pretty quiet and nice, so i thought I might as well sleep a bit. I tried tipping my hat over my face just like I saw Applejack do so many times, the result being rather pleasing, and after a giving my belly a nice scratch I was just about to fall asleep when-
"Rainbow Dash?" Her voice hit me like a bucket of cold water.
"Hmmnm?" was all I could manage to say.
"How much do you like Daring Do?"
Well, the mood for the nap was ruined so I might as well keep talking, I was interested about where this conversation is going to lead.
"A lot. Maybe even more than Spitfire and Soarin'." Derpy knows how much the Wonderbolts mean to me, it’s one of my favourite topics at work.
"Would you like to know more about her?"
"What do you mean with that, Derpy?" I took the hat from my face and sat up, I really was getting intrigued,.
"If you want to come by my house when you're not busy sometimes I've got something... uhm... awesome I'd like to show you. About Daring Do."
"Sure I'd like to, we can go right after we return to Ponyville, I got nothing better to do anyways." I was really curious about what Derpy wanted to show me.
"No, no no no no! I, I got stuff to prepare, you know cleaning and muffins to be eaten, but you can drop by tomorrow." Derpy suddenly got nervous and started fidgeting about, so I decide not to press the issue further.
"Riiight. Ok, I’ll drop by tomorrow then."
After a while both of us fell asleep. When we woke again, we decided to not take the train but to fly. It’s a long flight especially this late in the afternoon, but both of us being veteran fliers, we were confident of making it in time.
As predicted we both arrive to Ponyville before night. Seeing Derpy not even sweating was a harsh sting for my ego, I was almost exhausted. We said goodbye to each other, and we both headed to our respective houses.
The following day I showed up in front of Derpy's house, my curiosity even urged me to skip my precious nap time.
Derpy doesn't own a cloud house. Usually weak fliers prefer to keep their hooves on the ground most of the time, so they choose to live in a normal house. I suspect Derpy does the same because cloud houses are a bit too fragile for her, and they are rather flimsy. I once almost tore my house in two with a really cool stunt, that's why I only practice flying routines near my friends' houses now.
You ever saw her house? It’s the one with metal patches and other quick fixes applied here and there to cover up the marks and dents in form of a pegasus, at least I’m pretty sure that’s the cause of them.
I knock on the door, I’m fairly sure she should be home at this time. Since the mail shift is over and Derpy hadn’t worked at the weather patrol lately. I hear something fall on the floor and some muttering from inside. Shortly after, the door opens and the face of a cross-eyed pony beams at me.
"Hi Rainbow, I'm glad you came by. Uhm, I made some tea and sandwiches, but never mind about that. Please come in".
I returned the greeting and entered curiously, strangely the interior of the house was rather tidy and undamaged, almost as if no Derpy Hooves would live here. The only sign of her clumsiness being the tray with broken teacups and soggy sandwiches lying on the floor. Derpy motioned me to sit down in the living room while she cleans up the mess and gets what she wants to show me. As told I make myself comfortable on the couch, which despite being well worn out; with the stuffing sticking out in some places, is really cosy. Only now I notice how empty the rooms seem to be. The living room consists only of the couch, a table, and a coat rack on which Derpy's saddlebags rest. She seems to be a very practical pony, she didn't even have any ornamental paintings or posters. Before I can mull over that I fall asleep on the couch though, the tempting furniture and the weariness from the skipped nap overwhelming my curiosity.
When I woke up I didn't move and scanned my surroundings first, that's one of the first things you learn when napping on clouds: sudden movements can be very unpleasant. I notice that Derpy had been so kind as to cover me with a blanket, and that she is sitting next to me while scribbling on multiple sheets of papers almost at once. The table in front of the couch turned into an absolute mess while I was asleep, there were piles of paper, books, and pencils lying all over it; it looked worse than one of Twilight's hardcore study sessions.
"Hello Rainbow Dash. Did you sleep well?" Said Derpy, who apparently noticed that I am awake with one of her eyes.
"Yeah, your couch is awesome". Derpy beamed from ear to ear at that comment. "Thanks for the blanket, I'm sorry for falling asleep. What are you doing?" I got up from the couch and started stretching my limbs and wings a bit.
"Uh, I think you better look at it by yourself, It's what I want to show you, It's ah..." Derpy passes me one of the sheets of paper, she seems to bit a bit torn about whether she should hand the paper over or not. I take the paper anyways and give it a quick scan.
"Oh, you just wanted to show me your fanfiction? I thought you had something a bit cooler." I blurted out without thinking.
“Huh? what’s a fanfiction?”
“Alright, get this, some ponies actually write their own stories with characters from stories they like, for example Daring Do.” Rainbow explained.
“How do you know that?” Scootaloo asked
“Well, I was reading one of the last books in the Daring Do series at the library, when suddenly some sheets of paper fell out of it. I thought maybe it was some pages of the book that came loose, so I read them. It was the most boring adventure ever.
“It was full of words I didn’t even know the meaning of, and there was this annoying side-character that kept interrupting it with lame remarks about history and science and whatnot. And in the end for some reason, that egghead and Daring Do made out.
“So I asked Twilight what the hay that was about, her face just turned red and snatched the pages away from me with magic. I had to promise not to ever read any of her fanfiction again and help her look for any more loose pages in every book in the library. I don’t like fanfiction.”
Still I wanted to kick myself for not thinking before opening my mouth. Derpy looked quite offended at my comment... maybe, she just sits there in front with of me with low ears, fidgeting about with her fore-hooves nervously and trying to avoid eye contact. With both eyes. "But, uh, I'll give it a look anyways, 'kay?" That was pathetic, so instead of making the conversation even more awkward I just started reading.
The writing was a complete mess full of erased words, little doodles on the side and between lines, and letters that changed size randomly. It kind of reminded me of my own frantic scribble, so I have no trouble reading through it. And it's worth it, strangely. I was just as drawn into the story and action as when I read the real books. By the time I finished reading both sides of the paper, Derpy still hadn’t said anything.
"This is great! It's just as good as the real Daring Do, you really should start writing your own books!" I said enthusiastically.
Derpy brightened up and smiled weakly. "But I already write my own books... This is going to be a long conversation. let's go to the kitchen. I bet you're hungry."
And things only got more confusing from there on... I’ll try to remember what she said as best as I can.
'I am the author of the Daring Do series. Yes. But I couldn't have written anything without you. You are the inspiration. You are the model. You are Daring Do. In all the books I write, I just think of the adventures you always tell me and let them inspire me. That's why I always want to work on weather patrol with you. To draw inspiration from your stories.'
That was the biggest shock for me that day, I really am Daring Do, or at least the non fictional counterpart. I am my own hero now. I always tried not too think too hard about it, because it’s pretty weird.
'I'm not so clumsy when I really pay attention to what I'm doing. So I can write and handle papers and books just fine if nothing distracts me. And if I keep them in safe places too. Although I do need to use pencils. Ink just doesn't work for me. Remember when I showed up at work with a black face? Yeah...'
I still got to laugh at that, you’ shoud’ve seen her face back then, it was hilarious.
'You see. Everything is much simpler for me if I'm on my own and there are no ponies judging and staring at me. That's why I like my mail job too. Most ponies are still asleep at that time. You know I'm not a borderline retard, and I'd like to show it to everypony else too. But... When I'm out of home and everyone watches me because of how I look. I get terribly nervous and mess up even the simplest things. And I can't seem to think straight anymore'.
That explained how she got so eloquent suddenly, I knew that mare has some issues but not that it is so bad. I had suggested her more than once to someone qualified for that kind of stuff, but for some reason Derpy seems to be terribly frightened of it.
'How I know so much about exotic places? I always liked the more unknown places in Equestria. I like Ponyville and the places around it just fine too. But I've always been in awe of older and more mysterious places. Not that I'd ever get the chance to visit them. Not until now at least. I also bought a lot of books on my own about the argument over the years. Since you know, Twilight doesn't take me seriously and just thinks I'm a menace for her books. Not that I blame her. I wouldn't trust myself either.'
This surprised me too, I had learned that Derpy is actually rather sharp unlike what her behaviour and usual way of talking suggested a long time ago, but not that she was such an immense egghead.
'So Rainbow. Since you finally know about my secret and still accept me as a friend, I'd like to ask something of you. I finally want to be able to live my own adventures, but I'm not like you. I'm scared, nervous and I can do very silly things sometimes. When I'm not completely confident about what I'm doing. I know you'd like to be an adventurer too. Please take me with you, I beg you. Let's have an Adventure together, what do you say?'
Yup. Derpy Hooves asked me to be companions in adventure, this probably sounds ridiculous to you. And by the look on your face you must think I’ve gone nutty, but -seriously- once you get to know her like I have, Derpy really is an amazing pony. So without a doubt i accepted her offer, I was confident enough at the time that, I was skilled and witty enough to keep us both out of trouble, and he smart enough to guide us to our goal. So we could enjoy having a spectacular adventure. Well i was kinda wrong on both points, but I don’t regret the decision I made that day.
