Keeper of the Night

I got a very rude awakening at exactly seven the next morning. It happened so fast. One minute, I'm dreaming of being a basketball star singlehandedly facing off against a team of Spartans (the Greek kind, not the Halo kind), next minute, I'm being held up by my shirt collar to the ceiling by a magical force field with an angry ursurper princess in control of it.

I knew this was coming, but I was way too tired to think about it. Now, I was paying for it out my ass.

"Aw, crap," I choked.

Nightmare wore an expression of seething hatred, and she coldly stated, "Who are you...?"

I knew I'd get my head blown off if I tired anything funny, so I decided to play along and see what would happen. "I'm...I'm Miles. Miles Owens," I choked again.

Nightmare raised an eyebrow. "And would you happen to be a friend of those miserable little ponies my sister holds in high regard?" I shook my head frantically.

She was still eyeing me questioningly. He voice became much more calm as she said, "Where are they?"

"I'm afraid I don't know, ma'am," I said as calmly as I could.

Before I had any time to process what happened, Nightmare Moon threw me straight into the floor and stood over me as if I were an elephant she just shot dead.

"You lie!" she yelled. She bent down low with a pulsing orb of dark energy in her right hand. She aimed it at my face. "You will tell me where those pitiful foals are, or I will make sure you won't be able to speak again!"

I, honestly, was taken completely by surprise by this violent outburst. I couldn't understand why, but looking back, maybe she was desperate. Who knows? Anyway, I was scared to shitting myself, and I cried, "Please! I don't know them or where they are! Don't kill me!" She must've believed it, because I heard the energy in her hand dissipate and the pressure from her heel on my stomach went away as well. I was in shock that she believed me, but I was thrown back into reality when she hoisted me up off the ground and stood me up. Looking up at her, I saw she still wasn't very happy.

"Perhaps you speak the truth," she said. "I have never seen a creature like you in the thousand years I spent gazing down on Equestria from the moon."

She was silent for a minute as she looked around.

"Where is this?" she demanded.

I stammered, "Uh, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Miss Moon."

"Milwaukee? I have never heard of such a place in Equestria...and how did you know my name?" she asked with a noticeable hardness.

I had no idea what she'd do if she found out she was only a fictional character. At the time, I imagined she'd go on a murderous rampage due to a shattered psyche. I had to lie about being a fan of the show so she wouldn't find out, no matter how bad the lie was.

"...Magic?" I hesitated in answering.

She stared at me for awhile then turned around so her back was facing me. "If you can command magic," she said, "then you will surely know a way that will allow me to travel back home, so I may take my rightful place on my sister's throne."

Damn, she's smart, I thought. "I...I have many informational books at my disposal, your majesty."

She turned back around with a serious look in her eyes. "I know you are lying to me, Mister Owens."

"Oh, no, Mr. Owens is my father," I said. Yeah, that could've gotten me killed, but I had a feeling Nightmare Moon was going to be around for a long time, so I thought I should see how she reacts to humor.

"Do not even try to be funny," she said through grated teeth. Apparently, she didn't handle it too well. I sighed.

"Listen, ma'am, I have my resources," I said. Nightmare Moon didn't look too pleased with that answer.

"Then I will suspend the sun until you confess to me who told you." I didn't like the sound of that, so I tried to kill two birds with one stone.

"Nice try," I said with false confidence. "You can't affect my sun. It abides by physics, not magic." I was really counting on her to believe it and not try to do anything. Yeah, no such luck here. Nightmare Moon smiled evilly and her horn began to glow. I looked outside and saw the sun retreating from its current post. I knew that this would be bad news for the entire world and I would be responsible, but I hand no way to fight back. So, I tried half-truth.

"Okay, okay, I admit: I had a couple friends keeping tabs on you to alert the world if you ever came here. Now, please, release the sun."

Nightmare Moon seemed pleased she got me to fess up, but she gave the answer I really didn't want to hear: "No."

I knew a couple more minutes of this would keep the sun at bay for so long it would make international headlines, so I decided to go against my will and bargain my way out. "Listen," I said. "What will it take for you to give us back the sun?"

Nightmare Moon actually seemed to think about it. After a moment, she explained, "I do not think killing you would accomplish anything, for you are weaker than I expected. Therefore, I demand that you submit to my will."

"Wait...you're telling me to be your servant?" I asked. She nodded. Now let me say that a man being a slave to a pony is backwards in every way, but since I brought her in and got a good look at her, I thought Nightmare was actually kinda hot. Her body had curves in all the right places, and her armor was skimpy, but it covered up what it needed to. She looked pretty sexy...y'know, for an anthropomorphic horse. I said "okay" without much hesitation.

"Very wise of you, Owens," she said. "Since you have agreed to my demands...I suppose I will agree to yours. Be thankful I'm feeling generous today."

All at once, the sun jumped back to its natural place in the sky. At this point, I was having my doubts about lowering myself to slave status. If my parents came home and I told her to hide, she probably wouldn't listen, and I would be in deep shit, maybe with both Nightmare Moon and my folks. But unfortunately, I had made my choice, and on the bright side, I had saved the world...on a technicality.

I knew what was coming next, so I asked, "What do you wish of me first, mistress?"

Nightmare Moon turned around and grinned wryly at me. "You seem to know your place well," she said with some surprise. "Hmm...ah, I know...take me to the ones who alerted you of my presence. I would like to know their faces if they should try anything else."

Dammit, I thought. I hadn't expected her to follow up on that. In a flash, I decided I should take her over to Riley's place. No matter what, Riley was bound to find out about me unexpected guest. May as well do it now. I told Nightmare to wait while I called Riley up. After a second of ringtone, Riley came on the line.

"Oh, hey, Miles. Whassup?" he said cooly.

"Hey, Riley, I've got a problem. Night...erm, someone dropped by my house out of the blue, and I had to tell a couple lies to keep her from...doing bad things. She wants to see you now, so no matter what, just be cool and play along,' I explained.

"Oh...kay...?" he answered tentatively.

"Alright man, thanks, seeya, bye," I said quickly before he could ask anything else.

I turned back to Nightmare Moon, who had her arms crossed and she was tapping her hoof impatiently (although she really had human-like feet, but I'm just trying to be consistent). "What is taking so long, slave?"

I smiled innocently and replied, "Nothin'. Let's go."