Anti-Social Anon in Equestria

by Lurkerlord

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, Dark, Human, Comedy
Length: 9405

A very shy and stupid Anon appears in Equestria!

This would be my first story BTW but here we go!

You are Anon and you are presented an opportunity at what you thought would be a exciting adventure!
…But you are greeted by annoying ponies instead. Will you lose you mind? Will you find a way back to earth? Will you want to go back? WILL THESE PONIES LEAVE YOU ALONE?!

FYI: It is written in first person.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-13 16:40:03 UTC

Chapter 1: The Solitary Days and a Twist of Fate.

Small warning: I have no idea what I am doing.

Also the italic green text is what his Brain is thinking and the italic text is what Anon is thinking.

Music links will be put in to set the feel some of the scenes

Enjoy!

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You softly hum tunes to yourself on the way back to your apartment from work. You were currently going nowhere in your life, just flipping burgers at a dying fast-food chain. But going to work was always better than being home, sitting in the dark, sitting in front of a T.V. or computer, getting depressed, and playing chicken with a knife and a vein. Other than your special talent of getting depressed you loved to read, write, and workout a lot and would often engage with Parkour activities. To elaborate you are Anonymous Unknown, and to be honest you hate everyone and everything, and that's just how you liked it. You are walking calmly down a road in Downtown Manhattan, not to far away from where you were born and raised. Suddenly someone suddenly stops in front of you blocking your path, a young woman looking about your age. She is looking at you with curiosity in her eyes. You recognize her slightly, she was just another face laughing at you in High School. You decide its about to be one of those rare occurrences where you will have to...ugh talk. "Shut the fuck up and get over it, You are being a little beta bitch as usual"Your brain said. "Fuck off" You retorted back to your brain.

You don't slow down but walk around her and continue to your destination. The young woman started to walk next to you, forced a slight smile and said "Do I know you from somewhere?" squinting at you meanwhile as if to gain emphasis. Avoiding eye contact "Y-ye- *sigh* Yes you know m-me" you said. "From where?" she replied. "GOD DAMN IT!" you screamed in your head. You chocked out the words "F-from Hi-high School". The girl said ecstatically "Oh yea now I remember! Anon was it? You never really talked much now that I think about it." Your brain piped up "Durr what gave you the first idea?" Feeling irritated now that repressed memories were stirred "Yeah th...that was me, nice seeing you b...bye" you replied hastily increasing your pace. The woman now looking dejected "Oh okay... bye I guess." she said in a flat tone as she headed in her original direction.

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"I handled that like a pro!"You said in your head. "You handled that more like a faggot" Your brain quickly replied. Finally you reached your apartment room, the room number 34. You giggled like a idiot when you moved in but who is laughing now? Certainly not you. You would go for something better but apparently you got a collage degree that was majoring in the useless shit category. You stepped inside, locked the door, slipped off your boots, and began to clean up the areas around the Television and the Laptop. The apartment was rather small and it only had three rooms, The living room/kitchen, the bathroom, and the bed room. After cleaning was done to a satisfactory level you greeted your knife collection that you managed to smuggle in to the complex. These were your prized possessions and as far as you knew, or cared for that matter they were your only "Friends & Family". Your collection consisted of 14 knifes and one machete and you had all sorts of knives, big and small. Your favorite was a collapsible trench knife you called "Rosie" because of its soft red/pink color but you wouldn't dare say that out loud, the other knives might get jealous. You blew off about an hour giving all of them their nightly polish and sharpening. Then you decided to surf the web purely out of boredom. Your life felt like it was just repetition, you felt like it was lacking that...adventurous feel to it. You decided that it was useless whining about it but still it bore into your brain. By now it was about nine at night and it would be pointless to waste time awake rather than being asleep. So you ripped off your shirt and pants, put on shorts, and plopped down into your bed. You fell asleep quickly which was odd...you are usually a bit of an insomniac but something felt off in your house, felt off but you were too tired to care. You could not not see a soft green glow hit your eyes and hear a soft, low hum right before you fell asleep.

"WAKE UP FREAK!!!" Your brain screamed. You immediately jumped up and brandished your Bowie knife, which happens to be right by your bedside. Your bloodshot eyes look around the room, you notice the clock saying around 3 in the morning. ["What is it? and why did you wake me up? Do you know how long it takes me to fall asle-" "Yeah big deal asshole but there is something not right here. Can`t you hear that?" You held you breath to focus on the sound...He was right. There is a steady, soft hum coming from your living room. You resume breathing and looked at the door and you see a bright green light emitting from beneath it. "Whatever is making that noise and light must be on the other side of this door." You inquire. "YOU DON'T FUCKING SAY!?" Your brain quickly screams. You put your back to the wall next to the door, tightly griping your blade, prepared to strike if anything comes through your doorway. "What do you think it is?" "Go check it out." "Aliens?" "Go check it out!" "Ghosts?" "Anon!" "The Apocaly-" "GO FUCKING CHECK IT OUT PUSSY!" "OKAY!" You immediately burst through the door, knife poised to stab, but instead of seeing someone you see something instead. On the wall opposite to you, you see a green-glowing portal with a white swirl spinning at a slow speed within it. "90`s kids ho!" "Shut up, no one will get the reference. "Did we seriously just both break the forth wall?" ".....Maybe....."

You start to walk towards the phone to call for help. "Wait a sec" "What? why?" "Remember how you thought that your life is lacking?" "Yeah. where are you going with this?" You pick up the phone for emphasis. "Well... we should go through the portal. How does that sound?" "That has to be the dumbest idea we ever had." "...So are we going to do it?" "....Yeah give me five minutes." You reply, shaking your head and hanging up the phone. You get dressed, putting on black Jeans, putting on a black belt, and and a plain black T-Shirt because you can never go wrong wearing all black. You grab your backpack, which also happens to be all black, and empty its contents pouring all the papers on the floor and begin the task of stuffing clothes into it along with food and water. You packed two pairs of white socks, two pairs of elastic shorts, two pairs of white underwear, two black pants, two gray shirts, your favorite gray hoodie, your black parkour gloves and your black stealth mask. You had enough pop-tarts to strangle a fat man and enough water to drown him if it didn't work. So realistically 2 boxes of pop-tarts which held for packs each(all strawberry yuk) and three water bottles. You stuff your MP3 player in to your left pocket cause` them awesome tunes man. You also slip on your black steel-toe boots. You strap your backpack on and take a step towards the portal. "WAIT! You are forgetting something." "Oh" you say out loud. You turn towards your knife collection, you know deep down you cant take all of them. Many manly tears were shed. You chose to bring your Trench knife in your right pocket, strap your Survival and Bowie knives to your belt, Bowie knife on your right leg and survival on your left, and finally your machete strapped to your back between the backpack so the handle is sticking over your left shoulder.

You turn towards the portal once again and take one step "WAIT! You are forgetting a note." You let out a audible groan "Ugh" "What are you, my mom?" "No. I am your brain dumbass" You write a note:

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Dear Everyone,

I`ll see you in hell.

Love, Anonymous Unknown.

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You smile at your handy work and turn towards the portal one last ti-"WAIT!" "WHAT NOW?!" "You know what you need to do when you do when you go through that." "Oh good idea, Thanks!" "That's why I am here, dipshit." You step back and get in front of the portal and get a running start and dive towards the portal, You and your brain screaming at the top of your lungs "LEEROY JENKINS!!!!!"

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It all happened in the blink on an eye. One moment you were in your dark apartment and the next you were in a dark forest...or at least you think you were. Well you see you didn't take into account whats on the other side of that portal. Turns out you flew head first into a tree on your way out. Once you come to you mumble to yourself "Stupid physics" and you check if everything is alright. You feel your head first, there is a small amount of blood but you will live, then you decided to look around yourself. You are in a dim forest but you can see the light through some of the trees. It looks like its morning but something is off. Everything seems cartoonish and the colors seemed to be full and vibrant, even in a dark forest it looked bright, you assume its due to the blow to your head. You look to your wrist to see the time on your watch and then you realize you forgot it. You turn to where you thought where the portal was but all you saw was a scorched spiral on a gnarled old tree. "Well fuck" you mumbled "What now?" "Ow...umm think Minecraft I guess...ugh I hurt to much you are on your own." "As usual" "Fuck o- oh whatever"

You pick what you hope is west with the sun to your back and you trudge off in to the musty rain-forest like area. You silently consider taking out you MP3 player to listen to some tunes but you are in an unknown area and advise against it. You have been marching in the same direction for about two hour with out a sign of anyone and then you feel a odd vib within it. You feel as if you are being watched or even followed, you constantly check behind yourself and you are beginning to rest your hands on your now unbuttoned blades. What was even odder though was even though the sun was overhead it was still relatively dark. "Does something feel off to you?" "Look who's awake! and yes I think we are being followed." As if on cue waist high creatures reveal themselves. Their eyes were a sickly green and they seemed to be wolves composed out of bark. You unsheathe your dual blades slowly and put them in a defensive position as you see five step out into the open, snarling and gnashing their sharp wood-like teeth. All of them slowly surrounding their prey, just out of arms reach, green eyes gleaming the dim light of the forest.

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In a mocking, high-pitched tone "Hey listen!" "I swear to everything if you say that again I will kill us, now what?" "Maybe they are friendl-" In mid-sentence one breaks the ranks and leaps towards you from the right side, razor sharp paws ready to slash and tear."No they aren't!" you scream. You lean back quickly and just as the wolf is over you, you lift your survival knife in your left hand just in time to slash it`s under-belly wide open. An odd-smelling amber fluid splatters your left arm as it howls in pain and falls into its two comrades on the other side of you, the two others in front of you prepare to pounce when suddenly their ears perk up and they turn their heads to the left, completely distracted, completely exposed. Seeing your opening to the kill you quickly dash forward and slash both of their throats simultaneously, they both struggle to keep footing but fall and continuously ooze amber fluid. You turn your attention to the two others now up from being pinned by their now dead pack-mate. You once again get in to stance, ready for their attacks. But they turn their heads right and look into the forest just as the to others did. One of them suddenly whines and they both bolt out of sight with their twig-like tails between their legs.

Feeling cocky you grip both knives, lift both hands at your sides and shout after them "Yeah! Next time bring more friends!" "Ano-" "Who just got their wooden asses handed to them? You did! hahaha!!!" "ANON" "What?!" "They were looking at something!" You put your arms down. You feel hot breath impact your back and you slowly turn... and you are greeted face-to face with what you believe to be a Manticore. "Holy." "Shit."

To be continued....

Chapter 2: Man, Manticore,...and a strange town.

Chapter 2

The Manticore stood easily about a foot above you, its wings stretched to an intimidating size, and its mace-like tail shifting ever so slightly just like a cats. It again blew a puff of hot air, but this time into your face. The smell of rotting meat burning your nostrils, the hair on the back of your neck standing on end. The Manticores eyes flashed and a slow devious fanged smile ripped across its face. "Well? Run!" The Manticore lifted its paw, you immediately sheathed your knives, and back-rolled just in time as it slashed the ground. You did not want to see what this monster had in store for you so you turned and ran in the direction that the wood-like wolves ran in. You heard behind yourself a savage roar and snapping of trees, only goading you to run faster.

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You tried to make it as hard as possible for the Manticore to keep a lock on you. you slipped between every tree, jumped over every rock, dived through every thicket. You run into a clearing and in your current situation you did not hear the rushing waterfall ahead. You quickly noticed the rushing water and stopped at the edge of the cliff and peeked over, it was at least a hundred foot drop and the other side was about twenty feet across. That fall could kill you instantly, but you don't want to go down without a fight. You turn back towards the woods to see the Manticore walking calmly out of the tree line smiling, licking its lips, ready for its next meal. This was all just a big game to him and you thought to yourself: "Play time is over." The Maticore slowly paced the tree line staring you down, as you reach over your left shoulder and draw your machete with your right hand and draw your survival knife with your left. This thing was starting to piss you off. With the survival knife in a defense position in front of you and your machete raised over your right shoulder you charged the beast. It roared in turn and leaped at you, you grunt as you slide beneath it and deliver a light slash to its right underbelly. You got up immediately and got into position for the next attack as it gripped its left right side in pain. "Look for its weaknesses." "Now you chime in?" The Manicore suddenly dashed forward and spun to the left, swigging its tail at your feet. You easily dive over its tail dodging the blow as the the Maticore stumbled away in confusion.

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"Thats it! Its clumsy!" "Enough of this!" you jeer, a smile breaking across your face. It roars clearly enraged as it gets in close for the kill. It slashes wildly and predictably at you as you calmly back handspring out of reach and slashing its great paws every time it misses, keeping your psychotic grin on and keeping eye contact infuriating it more and more. You know that your back is now to the cliff and that's just where you need to be. You dive roll backwards and out of reach, you land with your feet on the edge of the cliff and you take dramatic pose, point at the Manticore and scream "COME GET SOME BITCH!" It worked, the purely enraged Manticore dove straight at you, claws extended, its gaping, fanged maw open. You simply crumple to the ground and the Manticore goes sailing straight over you and flies off the cliff to the rocky depths below. Proud of your cleverness you cheerfully look over the edge only to see the Manticore about halfway down floating effortlessly looking up at you with its arms crossed. You look at your bloodied machete and back to the beast below. "Perfect." You say, still holding your grin that would make a mad man tremble. "Anon I know what you are thinking. Dont you even dar-" You screamed "I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER HOW AWESOME I AM!" as you slip your survival knife in to its sheath and jump over the cliff. Brandishing your machete like a sword over your head as you fell, the Maticore's look of confusion quickly turned to fear as he realized his large, slow body was not able to to move him out of the way of the soon to be lethal blow. Instead of trying to run it lifted its great paws over its face and roared one last time. When you reached him on your decent you swung your machete as hard as you could, completely separating his two paws and finally stopping deep into his forehead.

On the fall down you realized that well... your fucked. "IDIOT!" "Wait I got this!" Still gripping your machete you put both feet on his now bloody face and yanked upward on you machete. You ripped it clean out with a sickening sound that you promptly ignored with a great gushing of green blood that followed, painting you shirt. The water was coming up fast. You started chanting "Shitshitshitshitshitshit." Just before you hit the water you jump off as hard as you could to the side, being sure to grip your blade as hard as you could but keeping it way from you. You hit the water hard and you were quickly caught in the current, with the dead Manticore flouting face down about 20 feet down stream. The water was freezing cold and the rushing water make it impossible to get up the side of the raging river. You quickly sheath your machete and begin to panic. "Think fast or we will drown!" "Umm...uh...Manticore!" you think quickly, starting to swim faster towards the lifeless body. You reach it finally and hoist yourself up on to its back. You then survey the area from your water-borne perch. "You Idiot, you could have gotten us killed." "Hurp-ba-Durp I wonder what gave you the first idea? Was it those wolves? Was it this thing?" You slap the lifeless corpse beneath you with your left hand. With your adrenaline gone you begin to feel the damage done. A couple bruises and minor cuts will never slow you down. You decide to lay back and enjoy the river ride but keeping a trained eye on the tree line. While on the ride you inspected your backpack and as expected everything inside of it was either crushed or drenched with water. Ugh perfect.

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Its been an two hours now and the sun will setting very soon. You have seen more of those wolf-like creatures but they ultimately seemed uninterested of your presence. You need to get out of this forest if you wanted to survive, but your best chance right now was to remain on your lifeless raft. After rounding a curve you saw what you thought to be roof tops through a thinning tree line. You immediately got to the closest embankment that your raft was passing and leaped to dry land. You groan as you stretch your legs in agony and watch the Maticore`s corpse drift away around a corner to the left. You look at the sun and see how much time you have left, about an hour left, and beginning to head towards the exposed tree line. Finally you will see someone and figure out where you are. "Hold it big guy! Stop and drop!" You immediately dive to your belly and scan the area. "What is it?" "We don't know where we are and I certainly can say we are not in Kansas anymore or the U.S. for that matter." "Yea so?" "We don't know whats in that town and we should conduct some recon first." "Hmph my way was a lot easier" you grumble. You remove your damp backpack and unzip your side pocket. You reach inside and bring out your still damp stealth mask and gloves. You quickly and securely slip them on and effectively from a distance you looked like a shadow. You put your backpack on, remained in a crouched position, and began to make your way towards the odd village.

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You get close enough to the village-town-place-whatever to see considerable detail and what you believe to be its inhabitants. You ducked low in the bushes to see...You rub your eyes... you see "Midget horses?" "You mean ponies, shit-for-brains" "That's you though" "Oh..." Now that you are there you completely ignore the curiosity of what the houses looked like but you would like to see what lives inside of them instead. You see only three of these things close by the buildings in the town, they seem to be oddly colored. For instance you see one with a purple coat, a horn, with dark blue main and tail with a pink highlight facing another that had glasses, a white mane, and a cream colored coat, and the third had a cyan colored coat with a rainbow colored mane and odd looking sides. All three of which were standing by a large tree ... with windows in it? "Dafaq?" "Get closer" You get on your belly and slink closer, crawling towards a building for cover. You are close enough to hear voices... Wait a sec you hear voices?! You reach the building and peek around the corner slightly. You are about twenty feet away and sure enough those pony-horse-demon-wizard-things are talking. You brain loses it "Nope! Im done! I am so fucking done!" "Should I just walk out?" "No...well do whatever im going out to lunch" you hear echoing footsteps and a door open and slam shut in you head.

The sun is setting and you have to think fast... You hate to talk but the situation demanded questions and answers. You take a deep breath, stand up straight and walk out into the middle of the street. The cyan one with the rainbow colored mane sees you first. Its jaw drops to the ground and it becomes silent, it then silently shakes the purple one and points a hoof in your direction. The purple one mimics the first and the cream color one takes one look and runs away screaming. "Im not that ugly am I? Maybe I should say hello?" You raise your right hand and try to call out "hello" but instead you let out more of a muffled roar. "H...Hmmromfff!" You completely forgot about your stealth mask on and you quickly realize wearing all black around night time was probably a bad idea. You see the purple one`s horn thingy glow, you try to step forward but you cant lift your legs. You briefly look down at your feet to see a purple aura surrounding them. You look back up to see the cyan one coming at you with frighting speed. You would get into a stance for impact but you can't move your feet!. The cyan one brought it's hoof back and hit you square in the face, knocking you out cold.

To be continued...

Chapter 3: Interrogation, Integration, Irritation.

Chapter 3

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You wake up to darkness, you panic for a moment thinking you are back in the forest. You quickly realize that there is a cloth wrapped around your eyes. You attempt to move your hand up to remove it, but find you are unable to do so. You determine that you are tied down to a chair. A rope around your waist, A rope on each wrist, and a rope on each ankle, securely fixing you to the chair. "Im back what did I miss?" "Perfect timing! Well...I think we are captured" "...Dumb ass" "Go through the portal they said. It will be fun they said." You shift around and you are able to determine you are missing all of your weapons and your backpack but you still had your clothes and your gloves on. Suddenly you hear a door open behind you and a feminine voice along with it. "Hey girls I think he is awake!" The voice exclaimed. Wait they know you are a guy? Awkward. You are able to determine there are stairs as you hear the room filled with light clopping noises and it seems they all went to the opposite side of the table. It sounded like none of them got too close to you so you let out a yelp when the cloth obscuring you vision was ripped of your face. You let your eyes adjust to the sudden light as you looked around the room. It was a basement with some lab equipment laying to your right. To your left you saw all your gear laying against the wall a few feet from you and it looked like all your pop-tarts were devoured "Great". You looked at the table and you say burn marks on cuts on it, you were able to connect the lab equipment to the table easily and there was a single light hanging from the ceiling over the table. You look at the cyan midget horse floating to your left first. The cloth was being held in it mouth, but you could still see a smug grin. You notice it was wings "Wings?" you silently ask yourself as you silently shift your gaze over the five others from across the table.

You recognize the purple one with the horn but not the others. You see a orange with a blonde mane wearing a hat, a yellow one hiding behind a pink mane which also had wings clamped tightly to its body, a pink one with a puffy pink mane that couldn't stop bouncing, and a white one with a blue mane which also had a horn. The cyan one fell in line with the others and they began to whisper to one another. They don't seem to realize you can hear them clearly. The orange one said to the purple one in a thick southern accent "Ahthought ya said he could talk, sugar-cube." and the yellow one barely said "I-I have never seen an a-animal like that b-before." to the cyan one who never took her eyes off of you. The white one who had a slight french accent turned to the pink one and said "I have never seen something so odd, I must get some measurements sometime." "Good luck with that." The purple one stood up on a unseen stool on the other side to get eye level with you. You glared at it patiently, expectantly, listening intently. The purple one began to speak "Hello I am Twi-" and she was immediately interrupted by the pink one who leaped up on the table grabbed your face with both hoofs and said "HiimPinkiePieandiwasjustwonderingifyouhadmoreofthosestrawberryrectanglethings?!?" You look around pleadingly for help, this one was too close for comfort. The orange one promptly stepped up, bit on to the pink ones tail and attempted to drag it off the table.

The pink one had a tighter grip than you thought and she dragged you up onto the table along with her. You yell in aggravation "What are you doing?!" The room fell silent and you felt yourself lifted and put back into your original place. The purple one had a grin on her face. "See? I told you." she said cheerfully. "Anyways before I was so rudely interrupted" She glanced back at the pink one who was now looking through your gear frantically. "My name is Twilight Sparkle, whats your name?" she asked with a smile. "N-n-nice to m-meet you T-twilight, my name is A-a-anonymous Unknown, but everyone c-calls me A-anon for short." You reply quickly. "So Anon what part of Equestria are you from?" Twilight asked. You turn your head to the side in a curious manner. "Equestria? wheres that? I-i-im from Manhattan if it helps." "Do you mean Manehatten?" Twilight said, matching your head movement. "N-n-no Manhattan." you said, slightly irritated. Her friends behind her shifted and whispered to each other uncomfortably. Twilight then tipped the light your way, effectively blinding you, and asked "What are you?" You tip your head down to avoid the blinding light and say "I am a-a-a Human. W-what are y-y-y-you?" Twilight then moved the light out of your face and replied "Hoo-man? never heard of them. Anyways me and my friends here are Ponies. I happen to be a Unicorn along with rarity." She pointed a hoof to the white pony with the horn. "Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy are Pegasus." You glanced briefly at the two as Twilight pointed a hoof in their direction.

"Last but not least,  Pinkie Pie and Appl-" Immediately the pink pony you assumed was Pinkie Pie jumped into your lap and yelled "Ilnowyouhavemoreofthesethingssomewhere! Wherearethey?! Huh?! Huh?!" Her breath smelled strongly of strawberry's and with every time she said "huh" her eyes popped out of her head and got closer to you. "This bitch is crazy!" you silently scream. Suddenly a purple aura surrounded Pinkie and lifted her off of you. "Sorry about that I`ll be back in a moment." Twilight said with and with that a bright flash emitted from her horn and Twilight and Pinkie were gone. With that all your fucks flew out the window "Join the club" your brain said dully. The orange one with the 'cowboy hat' stepped up and said "Sorry ah' bout that sugarcube, that Pinkie is ah' wild one. Mah name is Applejack." as she tipped her hat politely. There was a awkward silence as Applejack stepped down, you begin to think of the questions you need to ask. Suddenly there was again another bright flash and Twilight appeared once again with Pinkie. Pinkie was sitting against the wall in a snug little straight jacket. It looked kinda adorable in a sick way of course. You turn toward Twilight and begin to ask some of your own questions.

"W-w-what are you g-going to do to m-m-m-me?" you stammer out. Twilight thought for a moment and said "We aren't going to do anything to you until the Princesses get here." You blink and ask quickly "Who a-a-are your prin-c-cesses and when do they g-get here?" Twilight had more of a sound of pride in her voice "Princess Celestia and Luna will be here in a few days." "A few days!?" You blurt out suddenly. You quickly ask "Are you keeping me down here until that time?" Twilight replied in a stern voice "No, if you answer the next three questions honestly we will untie you, but for the time being you must be supervised by one of us."  You nervously say "Okay s-s-shoot." Twilight's face still stern, she asked "Anon, Why do you have weapons, why are they bloody, and do you eat meat?" You silently say "Might as well give them what they want." Your brain said simply "We're fucked." You take a deep breath and reply "I brought w-w-w-weapons because I thought it would be d-dangerous getting here, and I was right I fought off these wolf made o-o-o-out of wood an-" "Timber Wolves." Twilight corrected. You blink "...Right and I fought and k-k-killed a Manticore. Y-y-yes by the way I do eat meat but I am a Omnivore so calm yo' self." You say grinning at the last part. "Alright girls untie him." Twilight sighed and added "Sorry about the the whole 'knocking you out and tying you up' thing" As the two of the mares came up to your chair Rainbow Dash glanced at you and said in a whisper "Yeah she has a thing for bondage." afterwards she winked at you You and your brain both screamed "DAFAQ?!" You make a mental note that these Ponies are just about waist high to you. You lean towards Rainbow Dash who just untied your left hand and say "By the w-w-way you are far from being o-o-o-out of the woods yet." Rainbow Dash put on a sheepish smile and quickly replied "Yea sorry about that, dont worry Anon i`ll make it up to you sometime."  She winks at you again. "Eww" While you were distracted you did not notice Applejack untied the rest of your binds. "T-t-t-thank you...A-a-applejack was it?" She smiles, nods, and says "No problem partner." her hatted head as she and Rainbow Dash return to the other side of the table.

You stand up and walk towards your gear as everypony watches you silently. You begin to reach towards your knives but you are interrupted by a blinding flash. You look around and notice that your weapons are gone. You turn abruptly towards the table and say "Why?" with anger in your tone. Twilight quickly replied "Im sorry Anon but we cant give you those back just yet." Your brain quickly chimed in "Anon calm down. We can escape in time but first we need info and supplies before we leave."  You return to your chair "Hmph fine so where am I?" Everyone said in union "In Ponyville!" Your eye twitches " *sigh* Perfect. and what is my current location?" Twilight smiled and said "We are currently in my basement." "This mare just gets weirder and weirder..." "A-also where am I s-s-s-staying?" The mares looked from one to another, it seemed that they all had their own excuse. Rainbow Dash said "Well it would be cool to have a roommate but my house is in the clouds and you would probably fall straight through." Twilight looked around and said "Well I would love to give you a room but I already got two others in my house, Spike and Owlicious are enough to handle already." Rarity mummbled something about "Not wanting to let monsters around her little sister." Applejack said "Ah'm sorry, sugarcube, mah farm is under renovation." desperately not wanting to make eye contact with you or anyone for that manner. Fluttershy squeaked "Animal killer" and hid behind Twilight. All eyes then turned on Pinkie Pie, who, by the looks of it was just about ready to explode out of her straight-jacket. Speaking of the devil she did. There was an explosion of confetti and suddenly before you could react she tackled you and screamed "Yay! Sleepover!!!*squee*"  "Umm what the hell was that?" you asked. Pinkie stepped of your chest and as you sat up she replied "What was what silly filly?" You shake your head and say "N-nevermind." "Pinkie try not to go to overboard with Anon here." Rainbow Dash said as she playfully cuffed your leg with a hint of concern in her voice.

Pinkie stuck her tongue out at Rainbow Dash and said "Dithie phft nmopth imf resphmphfislf." Rainbow stared at her dully and said "Your tongue Pinkie." Giggling Pinkie pulled her tongue back into her mouth  and replied "Dashie you know I am responsible." Rainbow looked towards you and said "Good Night and good luck Anon" as she headed up the stairs and out the door. Pinkie tugged at you leg, looked up at you and said "Come on Anon, grab you stuff and lets go, its getting late." You quickly oblige, grabbing your items and following Pinkie out of the basement. Behind you everypony else followed. You  duck easily under the door and found yourself in a library. You thought twilight seemed to be the book worn type of girl...erm ...mare. You try to take a good look at the books before Pinkie and Twilight drag you out into the night. You look back at Twilight's house and quickly realize its that tree-house-thingie-mabob. Twilight turns to Pinkie and says in a hushed tone "No one should know about him and if they have to, for instance Mr and Mrs Cake, the less people know about him the better, also remember to not let him out of your sight." Twilight then turn towards you "I will speak to the mayor, the mare you scared away earlier, about keeping the hush-hush as well." then she added "If it isn't too late." You nod silently and look at the town around you. You slip on your backpack and followed the bouncing mare down the road, deeper into this odd town. You wave to the other five mares as they split of towards their own destination.

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You peer at the softly illuminated buildings that had a very old timeish and rustic feel to them. You then turn your attention to the night time sky. The moon and stars were abnormally large and bright, making it easy to see the town in its soft glow. You also notice that no one else is out, nor are any of the lights on in any house, you assume it must be a late night hour, if only you didnt forget your stupid watch. Pinkie popped her head over your right shoulder and you yelped and cringed in surprise, when you were zoning out you apparently didn't notice her climb on to your backpack. She was surprisingly light.  "There it is home, sweet home!" she said with a gentle smile as she pointed with a pink hoof towards a building about fifty feet away. As you closed the distance you notice that the building was crafted to be made to look like it was made out of sweets. You peer at the windows and notice that all the lights are off. As you gaze in awe you ask "W-w-what is t-t-t-this place?" Pinkie Pie jumps over your head in front of you and says "This is Sugarcube Corner! Silly!" as she quietly opens the door and peeks her head in. "Stop c-calling me that. My name is Anon." She immediately slips inside and motions for you to join her. You creep in after her, as quietly as a shadow. To your disappointment Its too dark to make out much inside. You suddenly feel something soft brush up against your hand, you immediately pull your hand away out of instinct. You hear Pinkie whisper "Anon! Grab my tail, okie-dokie-loki?" You quickly reply "No!" "Stop being so stubborn, you twit." Pinkie added "Yeah silly filly, what he said. Come on hurry up!" You feel her fluffy tail bump you in the chest. "Wait what was that? ugh never mind no im not doing it" You quickly whisper back. You hear some shuffling, then you feel something sweet shoved into your mouth and you feel a pair of teeth clamp down hard on your crotch. Your screams of agony are muffled by the sweet-tasting item in your mouth as you feel yourself being guided through the dark. Tears are rolling down your face and you have your hands firmly planted on Pinkie's head. You feel yourself turned several times before you both reached your destination. "Oh god she- HAHAHAHA I like her already!" Your brain said as she finally let go.

"There are stairs here be quiet and watch your step." Pinkie whispers. You silently follow her again up the stairs until you reached the top. "Grab my tail this time." You once again feel her soft tail brush up against your hand, you immediately grab it, not wanting to go through that again. She leads you to a door in the dark, your hear the door in front of you open quietly, you follow Pinkie inside quickly. You let go of her tail and you stand silently in the dark as you hear the door behind you... and lock. Your hair stands on end and a wave of paranoia washes over you. Much to your dismay you feel the sweet item leave your mouth and you hear Pinkie whisper "There is a bed to your right, Good night." You whisper back "Good Night, Pinkie." You hear the squeaking of a bed to your left and the shifting of covers. You remain motionless for about another minute before you deem it safe. You take off your bag, open it, and pull out a pair shorts that you usually wear when you go to sleep. You silently remove your shirt and your pants and you then slip the shorts on. You step and reach to your right finally reaching the bed. You climb under the covers after a long day, and then you realize that this bed is a bit small for you. You curl up and finding it peaceful enough to get comfortable, you finally fall sleep.

To be continued...

Chapter 4: Spending the day with Pinkie Pie.

Chapter 4

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You feel the morning sun blasting you in the face as you finally wake up. It seems that last night you did not notice the window. You can see the tops of other houses from your resting place. You shift in the small bed trying to get the sunlight out of your eyes but soon realize you don't really want to stay in bed anyways. You open your eyes and all you see are two large blue eyes staring back over the edge of the bed at you. You think you can already see the corners of her huge smile To your much of your disliking you recognize where you are and who you are looking at. You grunt as you put your hand on Pinkie's head and you push it firmly out of sight. You see her head rise again but this time you see her wearing a pair of fake glasses, a nose, and a mustache of course with her ever present smile. You purse your lips to stop yourself from grinning as you roll over and face the wall. To much of your surprise she was there as well. You quickly peek over your shoulder and see she was no longer there. Not accepting defeat you throw the blankets over you head and groan "Its too early f-f-for good m-moods!" Pinkie shakes you and says "Come on silly filly, its time to wake up." You jump up when she touches you and stand immediately from the bed. You turn in a flash to see Pinkie sitting on the bed missing her masquerade, staring with noticeable concern as she looked upon your upper arms, chest, and abdomen. "How does she move so fast?" Your temper shoots though the roof as you grit your teeth and growl "First don't call me that, My name is Anon. Second don't ever touch me. Ever. If you follow those rules you will be just fine." Pinkie then pointed a hoof towards your chest and stammers out "H-h-how? Who?" Her blue eyes scanning the large amount of scars racing across your body, some of them still scabbing, others criss-crossing and forming words.

You look down at your scars, unaffected, still keeping your grim demeanor. You cross your arms in front of you and gruffly reply "I did these with my knifes." you look back at her with a piercing stare as she kept her own. "What now? D-d-do you think im a freak? or even more so for that m-m-matter. Are you now a-a-afraid of me?" you stammer out as you scowl back down at your body. She shook her head "No. No not at all, I just feel sorry for you." she said just above a whisper, still staring at your scars. You step to the side and grab a grey shirt and as you start to put it on you say "Well don't. That's sorrow wasted." As your head slips through the shirt you ask "Whats for break...fast. What?" You see she is no longer on the bed or in the room for that matter. You take this opportunity to observe your surroundings. Its a decently sized room with one window, two beds, one dresser, and a stand next to each bed. You notice a brown cupcake with light blue icing on the stand next to your bed. You step up and inspect it and sure enough it is the sweet item that was shoved into your mouth the night before, you can tell because it has a bite mark matching the pattern of your teeth. Realizing how hungry you were, you immediately begin to chow down on the slightly stale cupcake. You couldn't possibly care less because it was by far the sweetest thing you ever tasted. When you were about half way done stuffing your face, Pinkie burst through the door, you turn towards her, icing covering your face, and you see her carrying another tray of cupcakes. "Holy-sweet-marry-of-mother-fucking-jesus. YES!"

Both you and Pinkie begin to chow down at a unreal speed. Pinkie literally eating one in a single bite with you close behind her taking about four bites to finish one. You took up places sitting opposite of each other, leaning against your beds. After the slaughter of the innocent cupcakes Pinkie began to ask you questions and did the same to her. "So Anon." Pinkie asked, icing still on her face. "Yesh Pinkie?" You reply, still munching on the last few bits of cupcakes. Pinkie inspecting the ceiling and quickly glancing at you from time to time said "Back at home what did you do?" "Shit. Try to leave the part out about cooking meat." "Well I w-w-worked at a res-restaurant." Pinkie suddenly showing interest. "Really?! So do I!!" you jump a bit at her sudden response but you still continue "Huh it seems we have more in common then I thought. Wheres the restaurant that you work at?" Pinkie's smile somehow getting bigger by the second. "You are right above it! But this is a bakery, not a restaurant." she said absolutely gleaming. With your curiosity peaked you regrettably ask "So what do you make?" She takes a deep breath "Oh shit." She begins to blab on and on about what she makes. "Ohwhatdowemake?wemakeallsortsofthingslikecakeandpieandcupcakesofalldifferentshappesandsizesandflavor. Your brain screams "Oh god where is the off button!?" likethecupcakesimadeearlierandlikethecakeillmakelaterand-" Suddenly she is interrupted by a tapping on the window. You both turn to the window and see Rainbow Dash peering inside, you are able to make out that she is wearing a brown saddlebag. Pinkie Pie bounced over to the window and let her float through the window. Pinkie retakes her original place and Rainbow stands between you two shifting through her saddlebag. She carefully takes out a soft-red and black colored item in her cyan maw. "Could it be?"

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It was! Rainbow Dash gently places your beloved blade, Rosie, into your hand. You quickly wipe away the pony slobber and lace you fingers into the brass-knuckle grip. Pinkie standing up turned towards Rainbow and said "Dashie I don't thank that's a-" A smile breaking across your face for the first time today "Thank you so much Rainbow! it really means a lot to me." She basked in your appreciation "Oh you its just your friendly neighborhood Rainbow Dash being awesome as usual." she said  as she dusted off a hoof on her chest. You happily admire it back in your hand, its familiar weight making you smile even more. Pinkie stood up, shuffled nervously and said to Rainbow "Hey Rainbow can I speak to you privately please?" But much to Pinkie Pie`s frustration Rainbow's curiosity was peaked. "That's nice Pinkie. Sooooo Anon whats that thing do?" You look at her with a glint in your eye and you say "C-c-curious eh? Here let me show y-y-you." You grip Rosie's sides and you press on the back on the blade hidden inside. Suddenly the blade ejects from its hidden sheath and you grip the brass-knuckle loops and hold it proudly in the light of the sun, glints of light playing off its tip. Even Pinkie was awe-struck and as you were reunited with your blade you did not notice that Rainbow was not staring at you blade as you and Pinkie were, but staring at you instead. Addressing your small audience  "Her n-n-name is Rosie."  You say as you slowly reset the blade and put it back in your pocket, away from prying eyes. Rainbow Dash then turned towards Pinkie and asked her "So Pinkie what were you saying?" Pinkie blinked and smiled sheepishly "Oh um sorry I forgot Hehe." In all honesty she didn't and she was concerned about you but that was the happiest she saw you, when you were reunited with you knife. So she decided it was for the best anyway...right?

You smile contently at both the mares as an awkward silence settles in. Rainbow plops down and breaks the silence by saying "So.. now what?" Pinkie sits back down scrunches up her face and taps a hoof against her head and thinks aloud "Hmm we could... nah Anon can't go outside, umm we could throw a party! Hows that sound?" Rainbow narrows her eyes and replies "A party of three? Im not feeling it. Wait I got an idea! I could do some tricks outside! How about that Anon?" You are a bit torn "Uhh I don't know... sure Dashie lets see what you got." Rainbow noticeably blushes from your nick-name and quickly replies "Alright you're in for a show!" and quickly blasts out of the open window, leaving a swift gust of wind, and her saddlebag in the middle of the floor. You rush to the window and stare out as you see Rainbow doing loops and somersaults   though the open air at high speeds. You are so distracted that you don't see Pinkie throwing a silent fit behind you. Suddenly a light bulb pops up over her head, she swipes it from over her head and slips out of the room. Rainbow just completed a difficult maneuver involving her spinning and doing several three-sixty's while being dangerously close to the ground just as Pinkie walked in carrying another tray of pink colored cupcakes with white icing, needless to say you were on the edge of your seat watching Rainbow, but cupcakes man! Really fucking good cupcakes! Once you catch the strong sweet scent of the cupcakes you forget all about Rainbow and go to stuffing your face instead. Rainbow stopping by the window for a moment to gloat sees Pinkie feeding you and sticking out her tongue at her, you are too busy to notice. Your brain says "Man are you fucking clueless or what." and he is promptly ignored.

Rainbow gets a determined look in her eyes as she decides its time to break out the big guns. She flies straight into the air to and astonishing height and dives straight down into a nose dive, her mane and tail leaving a brilliant multicolored streak behind her. Suddenly with a sonic boom that shook Ponyville she broke the sound barrier and formed a giant rainbow across the sky. It even made you stop eating a delicious cupcake and you immediately go straight back to the window and admire the view. Rainbow flew into view and perched on the window seal and said breathlessly "And *gasp* that's why they call *deep breath* 'Rainbow Dash'." You applauded Rainbow as Pinkie looked down in defeat.

*-*-*-*-*

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A few hours and a couple thousand games of Uno later the three of you resulted in talking about much of Equestrian culture. "So Pegasus control and alter the weather, Unicorns can use magic to alter and improve things, and Earth ponies are strong and great at agriculture?" "Right!" Pinkie and an Rainbow say in union. You give a slight smile and you reach over and start to put on your jacket after feeling a slight breeze slip through the room. You peer out the window and stare at the sky as the sun is slowly setting. You slowly remember why you were staying at Pinkie's in the first place. You slowly sound the words out "So are the Princesses going arrive soon?" "Rainbow shook her head with a stern face and replied "Not likely, border relations between the Griffin Kingdom and ours are not to good at the moment." Pinkie looks at you and smiles "Hey Anon!" You look at her oddly and say "Yes?" She hopped up "You stopped stuttering!" You smile "Hey your right! I guess I finally got comfortable enough around you guys!" Rainbow says coolly "Yep musta been the magic of the Rain-boom." "Or cupcakes!" Pinkie quickly added. All of the sudden Pinkie jumps up and runs towards the door and quickly yells back "Thestoreisbeingrobbed!" as she slipped through the door. Rainbow exploded out the window as break-neck speeds leaving Uno cards flying everywhere. Wanting to help you step over to the window and peer out, making sure no one saw you. It seemed that the coast was clear so you step out of the window and onto the roof. You see a bipedal figure run out of the front door carrying a sack and with Rainbow and Pinkie close behind.

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Your brain calls out suddenly "It has a weapon!" You feel a familiar chill go up your spine as you spy a sword's sheath hanging of it back. "GO. NOW." You flick on your hood and check to see if Rosie is still in your pocket, you're in luck cause it is. You get a running start and leap off the roof in their direction. You drop about fifteen feet and hit the ground with a thud and you immediately roll, maintaining speed and transferring the shock that would have snapped your legs like toothpicks. You sprint as fast as you could slowly closing the distance as they continue their pursuit. They run though a market place and you must think fast, the less ponies see you the better. You see boxes stacked on the side of a house. "Perfect" You jump on the boxes and wall-run a short distance until you reach the hangover of the roof. You pull yourself up and decide to split them off, as you jumped easily from roof-top to roof-top you notice the creature run into and alley-way with the two in hot pursuit. You know that if it was cornered the blade would be drawn. You quickly speed over to more buildings and reach the alley from above and sure enough it had a short sword drawn.You tightly grab Rosie and get squared over it. The bipedal dog-creature had the blade ready to swing as you jumped down on it. You brought the brass-knuckles down on its head full force from the ten foot drop. It didn't stand a chance from the heavy blow. Pinkie and Rainbow rushed over to you as you pinned the beast down. "Hell live." You muttered breathlessly and the majority of the shock left their faces. You pass the bag back to Pinkie and looked at Rainbow. "Do you have a jail? If not ill kill him, right here, right now." Rainbow quickly responded "You don't need to do that we have a jail, calm down." You hand Rainbow the now sheathed sword and turn towards Pinkie. "So now the fun part. How do we get back with out being seen?" You say with a grin on your face.