Twilight invents cell phones

by Flint Sparks

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 1664

Twilight brings the human technology of instant messaging to Equestria

Twilight, after exploring the human world for a short time, manages to reverse-engineer cellular phone technology. Sharing the fruits of her labor with her friends, she hopes that it will improve their friendships and communication for all of Equestria.

Published 2013-10-11 18:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-11 18:40:03 UTC

Chapter 1

“Here you go, girls,” Twilight Sparkle announced as she levitated six small packages to her friends, including her number one assistant. Each took their own gift lightly in their hooves (san Rarity, using magic) and examined it. “Go on,” Twilight waved her hoof, smiling. “Open it.”

Each one had a curious expression once the gift was revealed. Each box contained a similar object, coated in the same color of their mane (or spine, for Spike). Plastic, rectangular frame and a strange glossy surface one side with half of it divided into small squared with Equestrian characters scribbled onto it. A small slot on the side contained a small stick, similar in size to a quill. Spike was already poking the buttons, a spark of recognition evident in his eyes.

“Uh, Twilight?” Applejack stepped forward, eyeing her friend with uncertainty. “Ah don’t like looking a gift horse in the mouth, but what is it?”

Twilight returned her look with a smug smile, a habit she’d taken up since princesshood. “I’m glad you asked that. Remember that time when I went through the mirror?”

Everypony nodded, remembering the three days they spent in stark fear for their friend. The inability to do anything caused some fretting among the Equestrian-bound mares, but they knew Twilight would ultimately succeed.

“These,” Twilight held up her own dark violet object, complete with a black quill. “Are ‘cell phones,’ devices for instantaneous long distance communication from the other world.” With a quick spell, she brought in a chalkboard filled with equations and designs. “After much studying, thoughts, and trials I was able to replicate the objects I observed in the other world. With these, we’ll always be able to keep in touch!”

“Well golly, never thought about that. Ah think these will come in handy sometime. Too much shenanigans in these parts.”

“Oh boy I can talk to Dashie and Spikey and Rarity and Fluttershy and Applejack and Twilight and myself but why would I talk to myself I mean I’m right here so why would I need a ‘cell phone’ thingy to do that if I’m already right here talking to myself exactly like this at this very moment!”

“Quite the interesting contraption, my dear Twilight. Bravo to you and your academic acuity!”

“Eh, cool I guess.”

“Hey Rarity, can I have your number?”

“I think this is very nice of you, Twilight. Thank you very much for thinking of us.”

Twilight slightly bowed her head, taking in her friends’ praise. “I already put everypony’s number in each cell, so you can text each other whenever you want. Calling is a little more difficult, just takes some practice.”

For the next half hour, Twilight explained each cell’s function including texting, calling, and taking photos and notes. She was sure there was a more primitive form of the phone that would’ve been easier to invent, but she would rather have the convenience of the gadget that the bipedal creatures had.

Once taught, the ponies and dragon practiced nonverbal communication until they had the hang of it. With the lesson complete, everypony thanked Twilight and went onto their daily lives.

“Bye Twilight!” The door shut, leaving the alicorn and her dragon alone. Spike waited a minute before turning to Twilight.

“Go on,” she coaxed, waving to the door. “I’ll call you if I need anything, okay?”

The smile on the dragon’s face threatened to implode on itself as he ran out the door, no doubt to spend time with his favorite pony.

Twilight sighed wistfully. “Ah, young love. It must be so nice…” She shook her head and went off to study. A few books caught her interest, as usual. Arcane studies, botany, even a cookbook caught her interest. She read them all, word by word. Twilight Sparkle was a bookworm, after all. If it took her entire life to read all the books she in Equestria, it would be a life well spent.

Time passed and the sun began to kiss the horizon. Twilight looked up from her economics textbook and noticed it was almost supper. Deciding to test her new gadget on the field, she decided to send a mass text.

Dear wonderful friend, how are you? It is getting late and I just wanted to see how things fared. How are things? Is everything okay? No catastrophe to force us to save the day (again)? Hope to here you soon! Love- Twilight Sparkle.

With a tiny beep, she sent it. As she returned to her book, it began flashing; messages were being received. Multiple texts, to her glee.

“Hm… looks like Applejack beat Rainbow Dash to be first.” Twilight poked the ‘open’ button with her quill stylus.

Howdy sugarcube. Just finished some farmwork. My brother was confused by your cell phone doohickey, but otherwise thinks it’s rather neat. Apple Bloom wants to be an inventor now, thanks to you and your shenanigans. Thanks for checking up on me, but I’m not little filly Twilight! Love- AJ

“Oh Applejack,” Twilight whispered as she went onto the next.

Sup, Twi? I just went pracising and stuff and it awesome! See you tommorrow! – RD

“Well, that was short,” she chuckled as a new light flashed. She opened the attached file and saw a picture of Pinkie Pie partying inside Sugarcube Corner. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were in the background eating pastries and covered in icing. A small caption said My text was too big so I decided to give you a thousand words and- oh another limit? Darn it - PP

Twilight silently pat herself for having the foresight of instituting a character limit. Granted, it was about two thousand words so she could send an essay to Princess Celestia in case of emergencies. Smiling, glad to see her friends think about her, she moved on to the next.

Everything is okay, Twilight. I just sent the baby animals to bed and was telling them a bedtime story when you texted me. I am alright and everything is safe. Thank you for your concern and I really appreciate it. Love- Fluttershy.

“Aw…” Twilight sighed; relieved to hear her friend was safe. There was a certain charm to her talent, something that went beyond the average caretaker. A new beep distracted her from that train of thought, however. Curious, she opened the new message.

Hello, darling! I must say everything is absolutely perfect! Spike was a gentledrake, as usual, and helped me stitch a new outfit. After eating so many gems, he’s finally beginning to understand the aesthetic appeal of his regular treats. You haven’t been sneaking him my book on fashion, have you? Regardless, everything at the boutique is in tip-top shape and no crisis needs to be avoided. Unless you count those letters from that dastardly prince, however. I wish I could tell you more, but I must ensure Spike doesn’t drop that chest of expensive jewelry he’s carrying. Ta-ta my dear!- <3 Rarity

Twilight looked up from her phone toward the door. “Speaking of Spike, where is he? It’s almost dinner. He never skips dinner.” She trotted to the window and peeked outside. Ponies were walking on the roads and flying among the clouds, but no baby dragon was amongst him. Worried, she levitated her phone and sent him another text.

Spike! Did you get my message?! Are you okay?! Please don’t be hurt! Just tell me where you are and I can pick you up, if you want. Please get home soon! I’m so worried! Where are you? Did the diamond dogs beat you up or another dragon threaten you? Please hurry!- Twilight

Hitting the ‘send’ button, she returned to the table waited.

And waited. Only stopping her wait to turn the page of her book. Economics was boring, even for her.

And waited some more.

After an hour and the sun had begun to set, did she finally receive a reply.

“Yes!” Twilight jumped from her seat and into the air. She lifted the phone and frantically opened the message. Her eyes became a blur as she tried to take in the contents as fast as a pony could. However, her wings snapped to her sides and breathe stopped. A chill ran down her spine and froze her limbs solid.

“Spike…”

“Thank you for all your help, Spikey-Wikey.” Rarity placed a hoof on her cheek and fluttered her lashes, causing the dragon to blush as he set down the fabric before her. He rubbed the spines on his head, nervous.

“No problem, Rarity! I’m always happy to help-“

BOOM!

A section of the wall exploded and debris flew into the boutique, forcing the screaming mare and dragon to take cover. They hid behind a fallen table and shivered together, holding tightly out of sheer fear. Hooves brush and kicked aside the debris as something approached them from inside the risen dust cloud.

Spike and Rarity’s tears flowed as something lifted the table and threw it aside with monstrous strength. Their teeth chattering, they slowly turned their heads.

“SPIKE!” Twilight roared, her wings stretched to their full lengths and her horn glowing with angry red miasma. Her eyes were bloodshot and her mane was completely scuffed up. Spike forcefully held his breath to calm down before answering. Rarity merely squeaked.

“Y-y-yes T-Twil-light?” he stuttered, shaking in fear.

“WHAT IS THIS?!” Twilight held out her cell phone and levitated it to Spike. Spike glanced at the screamed and gulped.

“M-my te-ext message?”

“No Spike,” Twilight answered and shook her head. “That is not an answer.”

“What’s w-wrong?”

Twilight groaned and grinded her teeth, glaring at the baby dragon. Looking down at his reply on her phone only made her more furious.

“Spike, how many times do I have to tell you…” Spike gulped as she walked closer. She leaned down and snorted into his face.

“ ‘K’ IS NOT AN ANSWER, ‘K’ IS FOR POTASSIUM!”

Author's Note

Meh. I just find it annoying.