I guess… I deserved this in the long run. It was bound to happen sooner or later. My name is Aurora, and I’m dead.
…
“Are you sure you don’t need anything? I… I could… Do you want some more water?”
My mom, Knitting Needles, stood over me. Her mane, colored with aqua blue and ocean blue stripes, was a complete mess. And her light sky blue cheeks were stained with tears.
Yes, I was now laying in my death bed. Mom couldn’t afford to bring me to a hospital, so she made a house call instead. Doctor Hooves told me I had the common cold, and the pills I needed to fight the sickness were too expensive. Dumb economy. If you didn’t already know, I have pony aids. Whenever I get sick, I need medicine to get better because my body can't fix itself. I’ve had close calls before, but for the first and last time, I was going to die. And at that moment my mom was a mess. Normally she's such a stable pony, it’s so strange to see her worried about me this much.
“I’ve already got water Mom.”
“Oh.” She said. “Well, do you…want some more ice for that water?”
“No thanks Mom.”
“Maybe I could fluff your pillow again.”
I giggled. “It’s comfy enough Mom.”
“Then maybe I could-“
“Mom! *cough cough* I’m fine. I just want some alone time with Mrs. Buzzy.” I said, holding my favorite plush toy by my side. She was a bumble bee.
Mom blinked. “Oh… Of course deer.” She knew that I loved being alone in my room. I didn’t like being around ponies much. Or being outside. Or doing chores around the house. In fact, there was a lot of things I didn’t like, and playing in my room always made me feel better. It’s like that one song by the Beach Ponies. There’s a world where I can go and tell my secrets to. In my room. In my room~ I also like listening to music every now and then. Anyway, Mom left the room, taking one last glance to make sure I was ok before closing the door.
I'm sorry. I’ve already written this much without even telling you how sick I felt at the time. It’s just that, after all I’ve been through, that moment seemed like the best day of my life. It’s hard to look at it negatively. That may sound strange, but it’s true.
I had a stuffy nose, which made my voice sound weirder than usual. My throat was sore, and I had an annoying cough that made drinking difficult sometimes. I felt more tired than usual, but that didn’t bother me so much since I was in bed.
Maybe anypony else who knew they were gonna die like this would be much more sad. But I guess I’m different. I did my fare share of crying hours ago. Talking to Mom and Mrs. Buzzy helped a lot, as it usually does. I had time to think about it, and I felt like I was ready to die. You see, when I worried about whether I was going to die all the other times before this, Mom was always the voice of reason. She always told me I was gonna be fine, and that even if I did die, it just meant that Pony Heaven would have another cute little bundle of joy in its population. She taught me that death wasn’t something to be afraid of, and that Pony Heaven was a welcoming place. Now that I was actually dying, I had the time I needed to think about it.
To be completely honest, I hated my life. My long line of family members with weird voices was just the tip of the iceberg. Sure, generally ponies didn’t make fun of me for my voice, but that was because they were busy feeling sorry for me. I tried really hard to be a productive, responsible pony. It’s just hard to be important when you can get three injuries, including losing a wing, just by free-falling. I was just so fragile! And to add insult to injury, my cutie mark is a bottle of glue. A bottle of GLUE for Celestia’s sake! Do you even know what that stuff is made out of? Let me give you a hint, ponies don’t disappear from prison for no reason. My cutie mark tells me that I’m so useless, I may as well just send myself to the factory and make myself useful. I’ve always just told others that it means I’m good at holding myself together, but deep down I feel like my special talent is being useless.
But if what Mom said about Pony Heaven is true, then maybe none of that matters. Being useless… I'd been thinking about that then more than ever. Maybe I’m useless for a reason. Maybe life itself has no meaning, and we’re only here so we can become ponies and die. Why else do we learn? From the moment we’re born, we cry. Why is that? It’s because we don’t understand the world we are born into. Why do we dream? Because we miss where we came from. I think everything begins and ends in dreams, and that death is us going into a permanent sleep so we can return to the dream we came from. Life is just a place for us to grow as ponies, and Pony Heaven is the place were we live the rest of eternity as the ponies we become.
I held Mrs. Buzzy closer. I was feeling really tired now, but my throat was hurting, and I didn’t want to fall asleep hurting. I shakily picked up my glass of water. I was so sleepy… everything was so blurry… I fell asleep.
I open my eyes in a panic. What was going on?
I was in a dark room. The only light I could see was a pool of water showing me in bed like a magic mirror. I fell asleep alright, and I was too weak to stop myself from drowning on the water I was trying to drink. I was actually dying.
I knew what I had to do. If I threw myself into the pool below me, I could give myself just enough energy to sit up and get the water out of my lungs.
I was just about to jump in… But then I thought of something.
“Do I want to live?”
Mom would be so upset if she wasn’t there in my last moments, and she’d blame herself forever if she knew that the water she gave me was what killed me. But on the other hoof, how much longer would I have to wait until I was going to die again? What if I somehow live through the sickness? Do I even have enough energy to save myself?
I watched myself choke on that water. I was unconsciously trying to get it out, but was too weak to save myself while still asleep.
“Mom… I’m sorry.”
I stopped struggling in bed. My eyes closed. The light in the water below me slowly dimmed until I was completely in the dark.
I cried.
I had just stood there and let myself die. How selfish was I? Did I really want to go to Pony Heaven that badly?
I wasn’t lying when I said that was the best day of my life., but it was also the worst day of my death.
As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I saw the room light up.
I was standing on a floor between two walls. Behind me was a locked door that had Life lazily painted on it in white. In front of me was a spiral staircase. Everything except for the door behind me was made out of fluffy clouds. I walked up the stairs, hoping Mom was right.
I still hated myself for what I did. Nothing justifies letting yourself die just to see what happens. None of it mattered though, I was about to go up to the gates of Pony Heaven. Speaking of which, I was decided to preen myself before I got there. I wanted to look my best after all. I stop walking up the stairs to look at my side, and check on my wing stitches.
My wing was… Ok? No, more than that. It wasn’t even stapled to my side any more. It wasn’t bandaged either. It was… normal. No stitches, no staples, no bandages, nothing. And it was sticking to my side like a normal wing!
“My wing!” I shouted, only to hear my voice had also changed. It didn’t sound like that funny sounding zebra with the dumb looking sweater either. What was his name again? It didn’t matter. What did matter was that I finally for once in my life, or death I suppose, I sounded like a normal pony. I had the voice of a healthy little girl. I bet that If I checked, I wouldn’t have pony aids at the moment either. I was completely cured!
I ran up those steps as fast as possible to see what else this wonderful world could offer me. Not surprisingly, I was greeted with golden gates leading to a city that was mostly shrouded in mist. From what I could see of it though, I could tell it was made of gold. Beside the gates was a toll booth with the silhouette of a pony behind glass. She must’ve been an adult unicorn pony by the look of her shadow.
I ran up there with childish glee, hoping to get a good look at the city of gold once I passed the gates. I got to the toll booth and a hauntingly familiar voice spoke. “Name?”
I wasn’t sure what to think. That voice, why did it make me feel sad?
“Come on, I haven’t got all day. Oh wait, I do. And it’s a boring day so far, so tell me your name and make things more interesting.”
“Uh, my name is Aurora.”
The silhouette typed the name into a computer. Meanwhile I was still trying to find out who it was she was talking to.
“Oh!” The pony behind the glass exclaimed. “My what a naughty filly you are. How could you possibly expect to go to Pony Heaven with a list like this?”
“WHAT!?” I shouted in a squeaky voice. Thinking back, it sounded kind of cute.
“You contributed to the rainbow factory shutting down, committed suicide, put your mother into depression, and apparently earned the title of ‘fat kid’. Not to mention you voted for Luna as ruler of Equestria.”
“But what does that have to do with anything?” I inquired.
“Oh, it has everything to do with everything-" She started as she pushed a button to make the glass no longer hide her image. “when you know who’s in charge.”
I looked at her, horrified. Celestia was the one in charge of Pony Heaven. The princess who made ponies lives miserable for her own enjoyment, was the same pony who had to choose wether I go to Heaven or Hell.
Needless to say, I was bucked.
“Your majesty! How are you here? You’re not even dead!”
“Nope.” She responded, sounding like Big Mac. “But I am a goddess, founder of Pony Heaven, and your Princess. I find it appalling that you voted for my tyrannical sister.”
I was shaking, tears welling up in my eyes. “I didn’t know!”
“It doesn’t matter if you didn’t know. Even if I forgave you, you are still a sinner. I’m afraid there is no cure for sin.”
“What if I take a bath in holy water?” I asked, hoping to avoid Pony Hell as much as possible.
This of course made Celestia laugh. “A lovely thought, but the only way to properly sterilize something is to burn it. And it just so happens that Pony Hell has a lot of fire to work with, so….” She pulled the lever. “Good luck with that!”
I screamed as I fell for miles. My body tingled as I felt my health just ebb away at the harsh electric winds of the stormy clouds I fell through. I broke one wing, dislocated the other, and chipped four teeth, AGAIN! As I fell further and further, I saw a land of fire and brimstone. There were volcanos in the horizon, cracks in the ground below glowing red with lava that I could only assume never really cooled down. Most horrifyingly though, I saw a pool of lava directly below me. It was a small pool mind you, small swimming pool small even, but it was still lava. I kept screaming and closed my eyes near the end of the fall.
You’d think I’d belly flop and not penetrate the lava that quickly right? Wrong. Despite the long fall, I still penetrated the surface. And it was HOT!! How do you even describe being burned? The pain was all over me, my entire body felt like it was surrounded by heat and pain. I swam at the fastest pace I could towards the edge, each stroke making the pain stronger.
I got out of the hot lava and onto the not nearly as hot but still pretty hot ground. I was screaming, rolling all over the ground in an attempt to put out any fire that may have been on me. I wasn’t on fire, but it was safe to try anyway. I also noticed my voice was back to normal, so my screaming in pain must’ve been pretty comedic.
After I finished rolling around and screaming, I was gasping for breath. The air felt like it was full of ashes, which made me cough. I’d used up all of my energy, and passed out.
The prisoners marched in a single file line towards their destination. None spoke, and some tried to avoid breathing. The prison warden, Soul Claw, was escorting them to their next prison.
Not prison cell, but prison.
The idea was pretty basic; rotate prisoners from building to building and they won’t feel so trapped. This is done once every month, and Soul Claw makes sure the prisoners all know their place.
He looked like what you’d expect a jail warden from Pony Hell to look like. His entire left eye was gone, replaced with a glowing red cavity in his head that had several glowing cracks formed around it. His chest had a large glowing red scar running down it as well, showing that at one point his chest had been cut open, and the material between his ribs was cut with it. His right leg also had a slight glow from the inside of it, meaning there was most likely glowing cracks in the bones beneath the massive muscle in his legs. The muscles that covered his body were enough to make even a pony like Big Macintosh jealous.
The prisoners obeyed him both because of fear and respect. Down in Pony Hell, glowing scars show the damage you took before death. The prisoners had glowing scars too, each a different warm color depending on the pain they suffered. Yellow meant the pain of being cut, but the death had to have happened in less than 5 minutes to stay yellow. Scars left from cuts were sometimes a dim orange that glowed brighter depending on how emotionally scaring the pain was. But red cracks meant agonizing pain and a slow death. A rare few prisoners had these kind of marks, and were left incurably insane due to their suffering in life. Sometimes ponies were let out of their cells if they got better at dealing with emotional pain, but it was almost unheard of for a pony with red markings all over their bodies be let free. The idea that this warden in particular was both mentally stable enough to work and crazy enough to make them suffer more if they step out of line, was something out of their worst nightmares.
“HALT!” He shouted, making the prisoners stop immediately. Soul Claw looked to the skies, and watched a pony fall from the red clouds above. The other thing about scars in Pony Hell is that they connect the pony with them to the world. The worse the scar, the better a pony notices something new is happening, and Soul Claw new at that precise moment that somepony new had arrived. He also knew that the lava pool this pony was falling into was fairly far away from the admittance office. Somepony got Celestia angry. Getting her irritated was common, but Celestia must’ve really not liked this pony. Once the pony hit the lava, Soul Claw knew it was a pegasus filly. “Aw crack.” He said.
He faced his prisoners. “LISTEN UP!! You are to escort yourselves to the NHR Correctional Facility. If I find any of you aren’t on the list of prisoners checking in, I will hunt you down, rip off your front right hoof, and beat you with it until I have to drag your unconscious body there. GOT IT!?”
“Sir, yes sir!” They said in unison, fearing what they’d get if they didn’t agree on the spot.
With no time to spare, Soul Claw galloped full speed towards the soon to be new resident of Pony Hell.
The prisoners continued trotting to their destination. When he was sure the warden was out of hearing range, the newest prisoner asked the one in front of him a question. “How likely is it he’d find us if we ran away?”
“He noticed a pony falling through the cloud layer above us at the exact moment it happened. Trust me, he’s in sync with this place to the point he could find you hiding in a secret cave beneath a pool of lava.” The prisoner in front assured. “If you want to have less pain in your after life, you’ll do as he says.”
...
I was hot. Very hot. Chances are you could have cooked eggs on my flank. But at least I got out of that lava. Not that it mattered, since I still felt like I was in an oven set on fire. I have absolutely no idea how I had fallen asleep in a place this hot, but I hated that I was awake. I felt sick to my stomach, like I was on the verge of throwing up, but couldn’t. At first I thought that was just part of my suffering here in Pony Hell, but then I noticed I was moving.
I was definitely on someponies back, and I could tell because I felt myself bouncing up and down. It didn’t help my stomach cramps.
I was in too much pain to open my eyes at first, but after a while I decided I had to. I slowly opened my eyes to try and get a look at who was carrying me.
...He was definitely big and red.
“I also have several scars covering my body.” He said, finishing my analysis for me.
I nearly jumped off of his back, but my aching stomach had me curl up in pain. The red stallion kept walking forward, silently keeping track of me. “I can tell by your stomach pain you drowned. Wanna talk about it?”
I just laid there on his back, not sure how to respond.
“I hear that talking about that sort of thing helps make afterlife easier. I wouldn’t know. My name’s Soul Claw by the way.”
Since Soul was kind enough to introduce himself, I did the same. “My name is Aurora.”
“Nice to meet you Aurora.” He said. “So do you want to talk about your death or not?”
I felt a little annoyed. “That was kind of rude you know.”
Soul shrugged. “I’m not a very polite pony.” He said bluntly.
I huffed, giving him the silent treatment for a few minutes while I waited for him to drop me off. After 2 minutes I got bored and decided to talk. “I was already sick and dying when it happened. I fell asleep in the middle of taking a drink and let myself drown.”.
He hummed in thought. “So you could have saved yourself then? That would make your death count as a suicide.”
I nodded in response.
“Then it’s no wonder Celestia let you land so far away from the admittance office. She hates suicide victims, thinks they take too much advantage of the afterlife. Most of the time I agree.”
I looked up at him awkwardly. “Do you agree with her now?”
He shook his head. “Not entirely. You let yourself die when you were close to dying anyway. The suicide was more acceptable in your case, albeit still unnecessary, but I don’t think it was worthy of the typical suicide victim punishment. My guess is she got angry over something else.”
I blushed. “I voted for Luna in the best princess election.”
He grunted. “Why does Celestia still have those? By now she’s just looking for an excuse to punish ponies further.” He turned around to look at me. “I’m sorry for all that’s happened. If it helps, life here does get better. You said your name was Aurora?”
I slowly nodded, trying not to stare at his glowing red eye.
He smiled. “Then let me be the first to say; Welcome to Pony Hell.”
