My Little Derpy

by TheLoveless

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Sad
Length: 4049

Trixie gets an eviction notice, and has one year to pay it off. This is a call for the super hero, mail pony Derpy Hooves!

Trixie gets an eviction notice, and has one year to pay it off. Recent events have doomed her chances of getting a decent job, so its up to Derpy's magical power of delivering mail, to get Trixie's bill payed off.

editor: none(sorry)
title is unoriginal

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-03 02:17:17 UTC

what to do, what to do

“Ugh!  How do the ponies that run this town expect me to pay this!?”  Trixie threw down the letter marked with the official seal of Ponyville’s bank.  “1,000 Bit just to rent a space, an extra 100 a month!?  Who do they think i am?  a Wonder Bolt?”  Trixie trotted to her door, upon touching the door, a loud knocking sound came in, scarring her.  Being herself, as great and brave as she could be, she opened the door; only to find a pony walking away and a note hammered into the door.

The pony turned back, golden hair covered the top corner of her eyes, and her right eye crossing over in a silly manner, as if wanting to see the left eye.  The golden haired mare approached Trixie with no problem, speaking with an kind voice, “Good evening Trixie!  did you get to read the notice on your door?”

She looked back towards the door, in bright red text the document read the most unsettling news anypony could read, “Eviction to be in 360 days.  10,000 bit’s to clear home of debt.”  Her jaw dropped as she realized how many zeros there were, five zeros.  Trixie turned to Derpy and asked, “Is there anyway I can clear this without getting kicked out before i can pay?  This is my only home.”  She got onto her knees and placed her hooves on Derpy’s shoulders, “Please help me Derpy.  Twilight and the rest of the ponies woun’t help me, not after what happened last week.”

Trixies memories flooded in like a tsunami, sweeping every bit of happiness away in its water. It all started when Trixie found herself in the front yard of Fluttershy’s cottage, Every animal she owned and Discord surrounded her, harassing Trixie for a magic show, even fluttershy wanted to watch.  In the middle of a trick Discord, being as playful as can be, cast his own spell, carelessly aiming at Angel, the current assistant.  Upon the two spells colidding, the bunny once known as Angel was a oversized monstrous rabbit.  Hoping to get back to normal, he went on rant through town looking for Twilight, leaving a trail carnage on every ponies homes, shops and the roads.

Derpy started to recall the event as well, her hugging the giant bunny she had always wanted.  Derpy looked Trixie in the eyes the best she could and said, “I’ll help you, but you have to do something first,” an evil grin emerged on Derpy’s face

Trixie got off her knees and hugged Derpy with all of her might, grateful that some pony would help a wreck like herself.  Upon calming down she asked, “What is it?  I’ll do anything you want.”

Derpy collected her most devious smile and plotted of all the ways to torment the blue mare.  After a vigorous minute of contemplating Derpy smiled and placed a hoof on Trixie’s head.  She tilted her head to the side with confidence, “You have to be my friend!”

Amazed by what Derpy had come up with, she sighed, “Derpy, I can’t be your friend, because I want you to be my best friend.” With that said Trixie hanged herself around Derpy’s neck and hugged her, tearing up.

Derpy reached around Trixie to give her a hug back, but hesitated.  “Thank you, Trixie!  And as promised,” Derpy searched her mail bag for a newspaper, “This is where we can get you started.  The newspaper!”  Derpy placed the sheets of paper on the floor and turned to the Help Wanted section. ”I’m going to let you have this one, but just remember,“ Derpy started to flap her wings, ”I will always help you, no matter what!”  Derpy took off to finish her daily route.

Trixie yelled from the top of her lungs, “Thank you, Derpy!”  Interested in the newspaper, she picked it up with her magical powers and moved it onto her bedside table.  “Okay, I can’t let Derpy down.  I have to do this, to make my friend happy.”  Trixie switched the light on, and got herself a pair of her old reading glasses, stained and covered in a thick layer of dust and grim.  When your popular you don’t need to read to often.  As she moved her hoof across the page one thing caught her eye, Twilight Sparkle had posted an Ad for a pony to run test on.  Just lines below,  the payment for the job, 25 Bit an hour.

Her mind was blown. 25 bits an hour, and a chance to apologize to twilight, even help her!  The universe must have felt bad for her to have payed her back like this.  Skimming over the rest, she noticed that every one of twilight’s close friends had a job opening; Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, the apple family and even Pinkie Pie.  One of the best ways the universe could help her make everything better.

Pinkie Pie’s job listing, “???”, not all to tempting, but one heck of a surprize.  Rarity needing a fashion mode,l not too shocking.  Rainbow Dash needing a “documentor/reporter” for her every day life.  Fluttershy needing somepony to help care for the animals, and lastly the Apple Acres needed ponies to help with the harvest, like every other year.  All so tempting, and only one that could be taken at a time.

“UGH!  I can’t chose!”  Trixie threw her hat onto the floor, levitating it back up a minute later.  “I wish Derpy was here to help me.”  She got a very smart idea, finding Derpy’s house and asking her for help.  the perfect plan!

‘First the post office, then Derpy’s house,’ Trixie though as she arrived at the front doors of the office.  Pushing on the pull door was Derpy, trying to get inside, and letting the door get the better of her.  Trixie stopped Derpy and began to correct her act of randomness, “Okay, Derpy you need to pull the door.”  She looked at Derpy who seemed confused.

Derpy pushed her hooves against the door, and started to walk, “If i did that way, the door would win, then the score would be Derpy 1, door 1.”  She kept pushing on it harder, “I will not let the door get a point, not while i can still fight it!”  Realizing there was no stopping Derpy, or her score against the door. Trixie sat down next to Derpy.

“Um Derpy, I need your opinion.  A few of the ponies I… knew have job openings, and I wanted to go work for them.”  Derpy shook her hoof and struggled harder to get past the door.  “Do you think I should go?  And witch pony should I help?”

Derpy some how managed to push the door open, somehow, and walked outside.  followed by Trixie, she replied the simplest way she could.  “I don’t know.  I don’t read the paper.”  Derpy gave a silly look to Trixie, who seemed slightly discouraged.  “Just do what your heart wants you to do,” Derpy poked Trixie in the chest, “Thats what I do and look at where I am!”  Upon looking over Derpy’s gray and gold body she noticed all the dirt and ruffled fur from her neck to her flank, probably from her saddle bag, or mail bag.

“Derpy, I think you should take a day off.”  Trixie ran her hoof across Derpy’s matted fur, watching it stick up as it was lifted, “You don’t look to good…  You’re pretty, but...”  upon hearing the comment from her friend, Derpy lost her smile.  “No Derpy!  Not like I don’t like you this way,” Trixie pushed the fur back down and ignored the dirt stains on her ear, “It’s just that...” Derpy sagged her head and looked at the dirt, stumbling on her own words won't make anything better.  “Derpy, you could be more beautiful if you took a day off, you work every day… I’m concerned for you.”

“Trixie, do I look that bad?”  Derpy looked into Trixie’s eyes, wanting the truth.  The eyes of a cute pony like her would only ruin the hearts of anypony who lied to her.  Derpy closed her eyes and started to cry, “Well do I look that bad?”

Trixie grabbed Derpy and brought her in close, “Yes Derpy, you don’t look to well.  But I love you the way you are.”  Trixie grabbed Derpy with both arms around her, hugging her, “Derpy, your my first friend, and I will love you, no matter what.”  Trixie let go of her gray, and gold friend, hoping that everything was well, “You will always be my little Derpy.”

When You Anger a Dragon, You Get the Paper

Trixie let go of her scarred friend and started to walk towards Twilight’s library, “Okay Derpy, i’ll do what my heart thinks is right!”  She got an adorable smile and wave, and jolted off.

Wow!  It hasn’t even been a day yet.”  The fur remained flat and stiff against the gray mare’s skin, “Guess it’s time to go home and shower, again.”  With Trixie out of site and nothing holding her back, she began her 3 mile walk home, too tired to fly any more.

Before Trixie even reached Twilight’s house, and library, she noticed a series of signs with her face.  A red circle and line over her blue face.  ‘What are these for?  Did i really cause that much damage?’ She thought to herself, crossing the signs and entering the “No Trixie” zone.  As she got closer she could see the library tree house was getting rebuilt, and managing the project was none other than Twili herself.

“Hey!!!  Twilight!!!” Trixie called for the purple mare, but fell short and only got the loveable dragon, Spike.  “Oh.  Hi, Spike, was it?”  She was embarrassed, not knowing someones name only after a week or so.

Spike pushed his claws against his spines, glad she remembered him, “Ya, you got it right.”  Spike was never one to hate or even dislike, he just loved everyone, and even wanted to make more friends than Pinkie.  “So, what are you doing here?  Twilight put those signs up to keep you away.”

Thoughts started to race through her head, ‘Twilight?  But why?  Was it really that bad here?’  After a minute, she began to rummage through her bag, trying to find the newspaper Derpy gave her, “Oh, that.  I came here because Twilight needed a new “Test Subject”.  I have it with me some place.”

“I know Trixie, i was the one who had made the offer.  She keeps poking me, and asking me questions.”  His voice wasn’t pleasant, or even remotely sweet for once.  “Okay Ms. Trixie, if you want to do it, then we have to ask Twilight first.”  Her turned around to see Twilight placing a new book shelf in the spot where the last was.

“Yes, that would be fine.”  Spike started to walk away, before she even remembered what her heart wanted.  She grabbed Spikes tail in a magical bubble, and trotted next to him, “Um, Spike, could you tell her “I’m sorry”?”  She had removed her grasp on his tail when he gave a head shake for ‘yes’, and continued to walk on to Twilight.

A few minutes had passed before she could see Spike once more, but this time he was with Twilight.  She couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but by the time witnessed Spike got sent back to her, she knew something was up.  Along with him came a scroll tied with a flimsy string and marked for Trixie.  Upon opening it, a large, red pen scribbled ‘No’ was on it.  Below that it read a very disturbing message.

“Trixie,. i don’t want you near me, remotely near me, or even in my sight!  Get lost, and never come near here or my friends you,” Trixie had stopped reading it aloud.  Spike’s ears would be ruined for life if she went on.  At the end of the wall of words, it read a series of words that crushed her spirit, and destroyed her confidence.  As tears filled her eyes and the letter damped with tears, she read the last five words,“I’ll never accept your apology!”

Spike noticed the tear marks through the paper, curious of what Trixie had read, and if it really wasn’t that bad.  Surely enough he stopped reading after he read the first word his mother used to describe her.  Spike’s natural kindness took over, “It’s okay Trixie, she’s just...”  He didn’t have anything to say, so a subject change just seemed right.  “Trixie if it was up to me, i’d be glad if you could do it.”  Trixie hugged Spike before he could even get to her, getting squeeze and covered in tears.  “If you need some comfort, you should talk to Fluttershy.  She’s the kindest pony i know, even Discord can’t resist her kindness.”

Trixie dropped the lavender dragon to the floor and started to trot away, heading of to what one would assume was Fluttershy’s house.  She yelled back to Spike, with tears still in her eyes, “Thank you, for the help Spike!!”  Dust began to kick up hiding her from the Spike.

Spike lifted up the letter and called from his mother, “Hey Twilight!!!  Can you bring my up there!!!???”  Without another word he was with his mother and angry, arms crossed, and letter open.  “Okay Twilight, answer me this.”  He opened the letter and she noticed all the words she had said.  “If you don’t get an answer for me in the next 20 minutes i’m leaving you.”

Twilight didn’t even need to answer she just raised a hoof and pointed it at the pile of book and rubble that were left behind.  In return Spike gave a dead look.  “She destro-,“ Spike shoved his claw into Twilight’s mouth, stopping her words and getting his claws wet with her saliva.

“No!” He slapped her with the scroll Trixie had left behind, “A Bunny did that.  A giant oversized bunny!”  He had began climbing down a later, and quoted one last thing, “You misspelled apology.”

Spike had left and went on to elsewhere, and she was all alone.  “What was i thinking?!  How could i let him treat me like that?”  She rubbed her face, sore as it was.  “Giant bunny.  Ya, giant bunny made from her god awful magic.”  She kicked over the ladder and threw a paint brush aimlessly to the floor, striking one of her friends in the eye.

Discord In the House of Pet

Trixie as sad and angered as she was, had went straight to the apple acres, hopping they had something interesting going on like they always did.  Today there were full fields and empty trees, all the apples bucked, and being stored.  All the work for the day had been done, as far as she could tell, and AppleJack was nowhere to be found, only Big Macintosh and every one who was hired.

No work to be done, or even the element of honesty.  There was no real business to be on the farm; So like any common mare, she left to her next stop, Fluttershy’s cottage on the edge of town.  Perhaps Discord would be there like always.  With no hesitation, she picked up her speed to a mild run, just to make it to the house faster and get to stay longer.  Her hoofs clopped against the ground as she darted off to the edge to town, the beginning of Everfree forest, and home of the yellow mare and chaos bringer, Discord and Fluttershy.

Once at the small cottage a small bunny hugged her leg, along with a swarm of furry creatures, overwhelming her.  They started begging for what trixie could only guess was food.

Discord looked down, hungerly for chaos as always, “Hello Trixie!  What brings you here?”

Trixie hugged the towering Draconequus , and began to explain her business.  “Hi Discord.  Is Fluttershy here?  She had an ad for a caretaker.”  Rummaging through her bag once more to find the newspaper, it was lost in the continents.  “Um, is she here right now?”  She released her grip around the Draconequus, and began hugging Angel, as his once cute self.

Discord smiled at the unicorns uncertainty, getting pleasure from her disorganization.  He let out a small chuckle of amusement, “I know trixie, she asked me to do it, but they don’t trust me… Anymore anyways.  Could you help me with them?” Angel furiously punched his leg with white, fluffy fist.  Trixie she let a small gasp of shock as angle hit him.  He looked down at the white bunny with hate, ‘One day!!!!’.  He let out a sigh, not as long as Fluttershy was around.  As of right now he had to enroll the help of the blue unicorn.

“Okay Discord, i’ll help you.”  She trotted towards the house only to be beaten to the door by Discord, holding it open.  The food bowls had been filled and almost every corner of the house was overflowing with creatures, swarming from the corners like roaches.  “Feeding time?” She asked looking up to Discord, whom was seriously worried.  Trixie only had one option, to feed them the same food,  again.  Dumping the food bowls contents into a bag and reporting it, tricking the animals.  “Okay everyone get your food!”   The animals came from all sides. She smiled, they had fallen for it.

Discord joyously hugged the loveable mare, lifting her off the ground, “Thank you Trixie, you're such a dear!”  The feeling had once entered his mind once more, not love, hate or even devious intent, but boredom.  “Hey, Trixie?  Would you like to get paid to play?”  an luxurious smile entered the scene, no more lonely boredom.

when the yellow mare is away, what do we play?

day one

“Okay Trixie, to get you accustomed to my expectations of fun, I brought a chess board.”  Discords laid the board onto the floor in between Angel and the blue mare.  “Now play!”  Discord placed his chin on the newly conjured pillow, allowing his head to roll to its side.

“Um, I don’t know how to play.”  When Discord heard the words, “not playing”, he was in an uproar, balling and complaining the the mare.  “I’m sorry, but, it just never caught on.”

With the newspaper that slipped through the door moments ago, Discord hit her head, “this game is always fun!  You must learn how to play it!!! Now!!!!”  The Discordian snapped his fingers, carrying a book on how to play, giving it to Trixie’s capable hoofs.  “Enjoy darling.”  He patted her head once more with the newspaper, before shoving her off into a corner for ‘private study’.

Minute after minute, she studied the text before her, a plain book with no pictures besides the strategies it had enlisted throughout its pages.  Captivated by the description of every piece’s personal selective movements. She stole the marvelous tokens from the duo who had lost most of their arsenal to the epic battle of black and white.  Half way through the first page, she had learned how to play a basic game of chess.  “I got it!!!”  Trixie threw the book into the air, and pages flailed in the wind.

Both Discord and Angel turned head to see the commotion of the unicorn who had learned only the basics.  “Well then, Trixie.”  Discord saved the book, and sent it back to its once good home on a shelf, “Are you ready to play?”

Trixie shook her head in excitement, not having the urge to play since she was a filly, a blank flank filly.  “Yes!!!”  Discord moved her in front of the board and reset the pieces.  Angel gave a mean glare to show his seriousness, and to discourage his opponents first time at the game.  Trixie returned the glare with equal intensity, “Well then Angel.  Lets do this!”

Angel had the first move, playing as white.  Soon after, Trixie put her plan into action.  Turns later, the game ended in a stalemate.  Angel flipped the board and showered Trixie in a storm of white and black plastic.  Discord commemorated the moment with placing Angel into a cage for time out, “congrats Trixie!”  He began resetting the board for another game.  “How would you like to make this interesting?”

Trixie couldn’t resist a friendly bet, “how interesting?”

Discord grinned, “if i win, i’ll give you 50 bits for every day you come over and play, til Flutters come back.  But if i lose, i’ll Give you 75 bits for each day you come over and play.”

Trixie, enjoying the odds of the bet.  No matter what, she got paid and got to hang with her friend.  “You got a deal, Discord.  But no cheating.”  Discord smiled and gave Trixie the honor of playing white.

The game went on for an hour, as the time passed so did their short lived stock of pieces.  Trixie complained about Discord cheating, but he hadn’t broken any rules, he simply preferred copying her.  “And that, is why you don’t make bets with an all powerful being.”  Discord moved his queen into the path with Trixie’s queen.

“I think i won.”

Discord looked at the board, shocked at what he had done.  He let Trixie win.  carelessly leaving the king in front of the queen.  “Guess thats game.  Oh, and look at the time,” everyone stared at the deformed clock, noticing it was dark outside.  “You’d better get home soon.”

The party of three said thier good byes and left.  Angel punched Discords leg once more, giving him the stink eye, “just deal with it Angel.  i don’t care if she won or lost, i’d still pay her in full.”  Angel gave him an angry glair before heading back inside, “it seemes like some one wants a timeout, again.”

Day 2

This day was the day they all got stuff of their chest, with the exception of Angel, and the rest of the animals.  Discord spoke of his ‘little’ crush on Fluttershy.  Exclaiming how he couldn’t resist cute things, excluding Angel.  Angel repaid his complement with a hard punch of soft fur to his foot.  Getting shoved slightly for his arrogance.

Trixie did the best she could to assure Discord it was fine.  Failing miserably in the process.  She never was one to console people and their problems.  Thats what Derpy did for her.  “Sorry Discord.  I hope I didn’t offend you.”

Discord looked at the mare with open eyes, “what that?”  He laughed at the thought of what Trixie had said, “i’ve heard worse while i was trapped in that insidious stone.  Or was it marble?”

“So, i didn’t offend you?”

“Not in the slightest.  Besides, what's life without a little ups and downs?”

Trixie thought it over while Discord let her perceive the question.  After an hour of playing silly board games for toddlers and young fillies she had an answer.  “Not life at all?”  Discord shook his head in agreement before winning the game of shoots and ladders.  “So without ups and downs we aren't really living?”

Discord smiled wider than usual, ”you’re catching on.  Why else would celestia force me to stay here?”  Discord pushed Angel back some more before giving her the straight answer, “She put me here because the high life in that castle was horrid!”

Confused, but interested Trixie questioned Discord once more, “how was it horrible?  I’ve always wanted to visit the castle.  But i’ve always been tight on money.”

Discord continued his horrid tale of misfortune, “well you can’t sleep where you want.”  Mainly because he’d try sleeping on Celestia’s bed while she was busy.  “You can’t socialize with anypony,” the guards never cared to speak with him; probably because he never tried to get on their good side.  “And only Luna talks to me.”  Luna was very sweet in the eyes of Discord, but he had to stay up all night to talk with her, not exactly good living.

“That is truly sad.  I wish i could sleep where ever i felt like sleeping, too.”  Trixie put on her most honest smile before heading to the door, “sorry Discord, i have to go.  I made a promise.”

Discord blocked her path, no pony made a promise with out telling him what it was about.  “What’s the promise?  Please tell me!”

Trixie sighed, needing to get out as soon as posble, “i promised a friend i’d take her someplace special. I have to go right now!”

Discord was once set on getting the most out of every pony, “not before you say good bye,” he moved out of Trixie’s way, knowing how important a promise was to some people.  “bye, and what ever you do, keep the promise.”

Angel walked next to Discord, and staired at him, “you’ll get a goodbye next time Angel, she was in a hurry.”

Derpy trotted across the street with Trixie close by, clueless of where they were going.  “Trixie, you said we were going someplace special.  Is it the muffin factory?”

Trixie laughed, but was curious if thier was a real muffin factory in ponyville.  If there was, she never noticed, “no silly, i’m taking you to a special place.”  Not silencing Derpy’s curiosity, she had to give a few hints for Derpy to get the location, “it starts with ‘S’ and ends with ‘A’.  Did that help?”

Derpy continued by Trixie’s side, pondering about the clues, “nope.”  Sticking her tongue out. Trixie smiled.

“Derpy, sometimes you’re just to cute for your own good.” She poked Derpy’s tongue and pointed at their location, “we’re here!”