The Pony That Is Never There

Chapters

Of Little Things and Cinnamon Buns [Revised]
It Runs in the Family
Eight Guests and an Empty Seat
Eight Guests and an Empty Seat: II
Climbing the Walls
Reality is Subjective
The Pony That Is Never There [Revised]

Of Little Things and Cinnamon Buns [Revised]

Of Little Things and Cinnamon Buns

Twilight slammed the door shut as soon as she and Spike slipped inside. A very solid and safe sounding thump told her panicked mind to stop and, surprisingly enough, it did. They leaned back on the door as one and slid down it to end up sitting on the floor. The short, albeit insane series of events that took place little more than twenty minutes prior ran through her mind. She paused and replayed them again. And again... And again. Finally, she was able to give voice to what she wants to know.

“What...” She said. One word. That one word, however, is a question, a statement and an expletive at the same time. How it became an expletive took some very flexible grammatical gymnastics that won't be delved into.

“Wha-huh?” Spike said, his fear clouded mind being slow on the uptake. “What was that Twilight?”

“Nothing, Spike.” She replied. “What just happened?”

“I don't know... Was it a g-ghost?” He stammered.

“Don't be absurd, there's no such thing as ghosts.” She replied, returning to safe mental waters. “Mayor Mare said that he's an active member in the town. Why would a ghost pay his taxes?”

“I guess that makes sense. But... He's supposed to be a earth pony. We never saw him once... Not even the sound of his steps.” Spike replied with something between awe and disbelief.

“I know. I was there.” Twilight took a deep breath and got up from the floor. “It's time to go visit Pinkie Pie.”

“Why Pinkie of all ponies?” He asked.

“Because she would know him. Or at least about him.” Twilight said confidently. “It's time to do some research. You stay here, Spike. I'll be back.”

“Who?” Pinkie said over her shoulder as she pounded on a pile of dough.

“Never There. He's a earth pony on the other side of town.” Twilight replied. “I was wondering if you know anything about him.”

“I don't know him.” Pinkie replied as she dropped down to all fours. “If he had moved here, I would have known about it and I know everypony in Ponyville by name, even if they've only been here for a day.”

“That's... the thing. Mayor Mare said he has been living here for years, paying his taxes and even voting in the elections. How do you not know him?” Twilight asked somewhere between outrage and increasing worry.

“What?! Really? Where does he live? Have you met him? Can you take me there and introduce me to him?” She said eager to remedy her years of not knowing him. “I'm gonna have to throw him so many parties to make up for the years I didn't know him, not to mention a hugely ginormous apology party for ignoring him all this time.”

“Yeee-no. I don't know!” Twilight said exasperatedly to the ceiling before looking back to her friend. “I really don't know Pinkie and it's really freaking me out!”

“How do you not know? Why would that have you so freaked out anyways?” Pinkie asked as she tilted her head to the side.

“It's really hard to explain. I don't want to talk about it.” She got a look from Pinkie as though she just salted a cinnamon bun. “Okay, okay... I'll tell you, but I swear I'm not crazy.”

The tale took roughly five minutes as Twilight slowly explained about her encounter with a pony that wasn't there. When she finished, Pinkie didn't say a single word. Instead? She sat down and began to think without a single trace of her usual levity, her flour covered left hoof under her chin while her right one cradled her elbow. Twilight wasn't sure about what to be truly afraid of now. The... thing... that happened, or this disturbing turn of events. She slowly started to back up towards the exit, careful to not draw attention to herself, and got as far as three steps away from where she was when Pinkie looked up at her with a glint in her eye and a small smile that showed a little of her teeth. Twilight's blood ran cold.

“Lets go bring him something tasty to eat.” She said with a serious voice. Twilight just stared at her friend like a bunny in front of a manticore.

***

Never There sat in his favorite chair, which just so happened to be the one Twilight sat in as well. This chair was the one closest to the front door and slightly angled to the right so that the light from the window slanted in just right to softly illuminate the pages of any book he may be reading while sitting there. Beside his lamp sat the bowl of cookies that Spike had brought with him, about half of which were gone an hour later along with a quarter of his milk. Pleasantly filled by sweet cookies, cold milk and reading one of his favorite books during the lunch hour makes him quite happy with life in general. It's the little things in life, you know?

With a content sigh, he closed the book gently with a thin silk ribbon to mark his place, and got up to take care of a few small things around the house that needed his attention. Dirty dishes, dusting his book shelves, changing the bed sheets and a little waxing of the lovely hardwood floor are in order. All-in-all he got everything taken care of well before supper, so he went to the kitchen and prepared a tasty stew to simmer for a couple hours. He always makes a large pot of stew because the leftovers only get better after a day or two and it saves him the hassle of deciding on what to eat. It's these little things.

After one hundred ninety seven pages and roughly two hours after sitting down to read before supper, a knock came from the door. Guests? Twice in one day? That's a new record. May as well go see who it is. He thought as he replaced his bookmark. He put the book on the seat he just vacated and went to the door. Opening it a bit, he looked out to see that Twilight and Spike have returned. The former seems a trifle scared but brave despite that and the latter cowered under the formers tail. This time, they have another pony along with them with absurdly bulging saddlebags. Pinkie Pie... If I remember correctly. That town wide song she sang a while back was pretty catchy too. So, leaving the door open, he walked over to the small side desk beside his chair, fetched a scrap of parchment and wrote To what honor do I owe, having two lovely mares and a friendly little dragon come visit me during supper? He signed his name and returned to the doorway, placing the note in the middle like before. Twilight twitched slightly once she noticed the note and Spike hunched down a little further at her reaction. Pinkie Pie, however, just smiled and asks what it says. The two mares blush slightly as Twilight reads it aloud and Spike takes a careful peek from behind Twilight.

“We're here to apologize for running out like that earlier! We even brought some desserts for you if you would like them!” Twilight half-shouted while looking off in the middle distance. Cute. He walked back to the desk to write a note that said:

It's okay. Not everypony is used to interacting with me and I may have been a little... obtuse. I apologize for frightening you two so severely. As a real apology, would you two care to join me for supper? Pinkie Pie, feel free to join us as well. I'm preparing a carrot, leek and potato stew if you haven't eaten yet. I would love to share my table with you three since you're the first real guests I've had since I've lived here.

Also, I may be Never There, but I am here. You don't have to raise your voice as I am not, in any way, hearing impaired.

He placed the note in the same spot once again and Twilight promptly showed it to her companions with a questioning expression. Pinkie smiled winsomely and Spike mumbled something while rubbing his ponderous paunch. Twilight lookd back to the half open door and nodded. Never opened the door fully to show them that they are welcome. They walk in slowly, Twilight and Spike looking around slightly nervously while Pinkie trotted bouncily through the living room while looking around at everything.

“Ooohhh, that does smell good.” Twilight said with a slight rumbling of her stomach that made her to blush slightly.

“Oh yeah.” Spike says enthusiastically as he loosened up a little. “I wonder how much longer until he's finished.”

Never There walked quickly into the kitchen, grabbed a few bowls and filled them halfway with the steaming stew. He set them on the table and pulled out a loaf of fresh bread that he got earlier today in the market and carved thick slices off to accompany the stew. At this point, Pinkie poked her head in the kitchen curiously and took a quick look around before pulling back out. He heard some excited whispering as he placed some spoons beside the bowls. The whispering stopped and the trio walked in, smelling the air in long appreciative breaths. He waited a moment for them to seat their selves as they wished before he quickly grabbed a few more scraps of parchment, a pen and an inkwell. He placed the things down slightly to the side of his food, causing his guests to suddenly stare at the items.

Please, help yourselves. He wrote, sliding it over to Twilight.

“Thank you for inviting us to supper, Never There.” Twilight said as she began to eat. Her eyes light up and she smiled as the delicious stew washed over her tongue. Spike and Pinkie follow suit, similar expressions showing after the first bite. “This is amazingly good! Who taught you to cook stew like this?” Twilight gushed after another spoonful.

My mother finally taught me recipe last year. It was one of her bribes for having me make the excursion to Canterlot once a month. He wrote, passing the note to Twilight. You wouldn't believe how hard it is for me to get to Canterlot.

“I can imagine. So your parents live in Canterlot? So do mine! Maybe they know each other.” She replied with a bit of excitement.

“You think so?” Spike cut in. “I know for sure that I'd make that trip by foot and carrying you if I knew I had a bowl of this waiting for me at your parents place.”

“Ha!” Pinkie giggled. “I'd like to see that, Spike!”

Twilight giggled at the mental image, though something seemed a little off to Never. It's not nervousness, awkwardness or anything like that. There's just... an edge to Twilight's laughter that sends a subtle shiver down his spine. He put that thought aside for the moment though as he ate his own meal. This is the stew that would haunt his dreams and almost... almost make him seriously consider moving back in with his parents. Pinkie finished her bowl first and asked for seconds, which he told her that he doesn't mind. They pass an easy hour in this peculiar fashion. Never There began to feel a bit peculiar as he felt that there's something going on and he's just a step behind.

“So, Pinkie...” Twilight said with a contented sigh, her fore legs partially wrapped around her stomach protectively. “I think we should see about that dessert. Your maple glazed cinnamon rolls are absolutely amazing. I'm sure Never There can appreciate a good dessert after such a fantastic meal.”

They sound delicious, though I may have to limit myself to one. Allow me to get us some plates. Never wrote. He went about with quick efficiency, placing a plate beside each empty bowl before taking said bowl to the sink. His guests started at the new dishes and stare in amazement at where their bowls used to be.

“No worries.” Pinkie said with a big smile after poking her plate with a hoof to verify that it's really there. “I brought plenty, so you'll be able to enjoy them for a few days at least.”

Never smiled and thanked her before she started rummaging around in her saddlebags beside her seat. She righted herself with five trays wrapped in thick brown paper, grease spots dotting the surface. A stray thought about the absurdity of her carrying so many trays in her saddlebags wandered by before it is promptly ignored. She placed one tray on the table and unwrapped it to reveal the currency of a new world order. Sorry Mom. Dark, golden brown rolls rise in majestic fluffyness, streaks of the thick cinnamon spread easily visible and immediately saturated the air with its aroma. The maple glaze is incredibly thick and sticky without being baked to hardness with large pieces of walnuts sprinkled liberally across the entire surface. He stared in awe as Pinkie ripped the first roll from its brethren and places it on his plate. He looked at it, his hoof reaching out slowly as if in reverence, reluctant to defile such a thing of beauty. His stomach, however, is a barbarian and forced his hoof. The first bite hit him like a bolt from the blue. The rich roll, warm cinnamon, smoky maple and toasted walnuts brought him as close to a religious experience as he is ever likely to get. He shuddered slightly as he chews, his eyes half lidded. As he appreciated the delicacy, he didn't notice when Pinkie pulled out a container of confectioners sugar to sprinkle some on top of her roll. Nor dids he really pay any attention when it slipped from her hooves, bounced once on the table and creates a small explosion of sugar which settled around Never.

***

Twilight watched with rapt attention as Pinkie pulled the real 'dessert' from her bag and leaned forward in her seat eagerly. She watched Pinkie 'lost' her grip on the container and did nothing to prevent the obvious mess it would make. If you're really here, lets see you. She thought with a manic glee that rose from within. It's almost like time slowed down for her as she watched the dust settle... to reveal a sugar covered chair. She blinked once.

“WHAT?!” She practically shrieked. “WHAT?!”

Spike looked at Twilight with a look between 'really?' and an exasperated 'you gotta be kidding me.' Pinkie played her part flawlessly as she started apologizing and searched for a wash rag to clean up the mess, muttering something about thins being how you got ants. Twilight had so many extreme emotions vying for prominence that frustration clubbed them into submission through sheer willpower. A note appeared on the table a little later. She snapped it to herself and reads: You should really have one of these rolls. You'll feel much better. Her left eye twitched ever so slightly.

“You know what? I may as well.” She says tersely. “I mean, we showed up to apologize and now after being treated to an amazing supper, it would be rude to not see through with the whole meal.”

Another note appeared. Absolutely.

Twilight glared at the note as though it were the source of all evil. Oh, how she wished it were. The righteous things she would wreak upon it if that were the case. But it isn't. So she simply gave up. She sighed and ate her roll in silence. At least the roll's as good as it looks. She thought a little depressed. They finish up in a little bit, their plates disappearing from the table and reappearing in the sink with a gentle clink. Pinkie and Spike make small talk for a while with notes appearing occasionally. Twilight, simply not caring enough to pay attention in the least, sat in relative silence with her thoughts. Talk dwindled down after a time as they simply basked in that perfect moment of contentment caused by good food and good company.

They sigh and shift around as it slowly faded before they began to make even smaller talk before they broach the subject of leaving their superb host. They roused their selves to gather their belongings and make their farewells, lingering a couple moments longer than usual to wait for the usual response method. They leave soon after reading his note and make their way back to Golden Oaks. Along the walk home, Spike and Pinkie chat about the meal, the conversation over the meal (or reading as the case may be) and the pony who is Never There. When they arrived at the library, Spike went inside first as he was especially groggy after such a good meal while Pinkie and Twilight looked at each other with different expressions.

“So... I don't know what to do next.” Twilight said a little downtrodden. “I mean, that sugar was laced with so many tracing, tracking and revealing spells it should be able to show where the wind went two weeks ago over solid stone.”

“Don't worry about it so much Twilight. I'm sure you'll figure something out sooner or later.” Her friend assured her. “But he seems like a really nice guy. I hope we get to hang out with him some more... especially if he's the one cooking the main course.”

“Thanks Pinkie, and you're right. He does seem nice. Maybe I should get to know him a bit better before diving headlong into the strangeness surrounding him.” Twilight responded with a tired smile. They talked a little more and toss the idea around about introducing their other friends to him, and getting fits of giggles at imagining their reactions. They part ways for the night with plans to hang out tomorrow. After Twilight made her way up to her room, she noticed that she's still wearing her saddlebags. With a dismissal of responsibility, she dropped them on the floor beside her bed and settled in for the night. As the suns final light filters through her window, a brief reflection alights upon her bags revealing a book and a piece of folded parchment peeking from between the flaps, before it is lost in the shadows.

Author's Note

So... yeah... This story's too much fun. Here's another chapter :3

It Runs in the Family

It was the morning after Twilight's little breakdown. She had completely ignored re-shelving day yesterday and she is going to make up for lost time today even if it's supposed to be her day off. Grabbing her saddlebags from the floor, she heads back downstairs to grab a bite to eat and begin work on her checklist for the day. She pulls the book from her bag but stops immediately as she notices a piece of parchment also being held in her magic. Another surprise... She wearily thinks as she puts the book on the kitchen table and takes the letter to the main room, all thoughts of breakfast are forgotten for the time being. She sighs a sigh laced with repressed emotions and the unexpected feeling of a weight lifting off her chest. Maybe I didn't completely destroy any chance of friendship with Never There. She thinks cautiously as she settles down on her couch to read.

Twilight,

As you may be wondering, I am not upset about your outburst at dinner. I have had many well known and exceptionally brilliant ponies study the phenomenon that shrouds me. The experiments they've done are so numerous and ingenuous, I would fail to name even half of them. As you can imagine, they have had no success in this matter, though they have discovered the finer points of exuberant swearing in the course of their experiments. I think that if you wish to assuage your burning curiosity, my parents may be able to bank your fire somewhat. Or they may just add fuel to the fire.

Regardless, if you would like to meet them, visit me sometime today and I will give you their address. I hope you don't mind the trip to Canterlot. To say the least, yesterday was one of the most enjoyable days I've had in years. You, Spike and Pinkie are all fantastic individuals and I would like to get to know you all better. Maybe we can all have dinner again sometime soon without hidden experiments and an overwhelming desire to figure out my mystery.

-Never There

P.S. If it's at all possible, please ask Pinkie if she would be able to make arrangements with me to be able to order more of those amazing rolls in the future.

P.P.S. Also let Spike know that I've always enjoyed the cookies he sets out for the library patrons. They always make my visits to the library just that much more enjoyable.

Twilight finishes reading the letter with a smile and a surge of ecstatic optimism. Maybe it wasn't exactly what she was looking for, but it's something to work with. She goes back to the kitchen and prepares breakfast of pancakes, calling upstairs to give Spike fair warning. She sits down to eat and gets about halfway through her meal when a drowsy Spike makes his blanket shrouded entrance. He takes his seat and starts eating while still half asleep.

“So...” He mumbles. “Was it all just a dream, or did we actually have a really good meal with a pony who wasn't there last night?”

“It happened all right, and you're absolutely right about it being a really good meal.” Twilight responds. “But it looks like I'm going to have to put re-shelving off again. It looks like I'm making a trip up to Canterlot today. You can come along too if you want, although you may get bored if you stay with me the whole time so you can stay with Mom and Dad while I'm busy if you want.”

“That sounds good to me. I haven't seen them in a while, so it'd be nice to visit.” He responds perking up a bit. “So why're we going to Canterlot all of a sudden?”

“I'm going to visit Never There's parents. He wrote me a letter and slipped it in my bag before we left telling me that he wasn't offended about last night. He also says that he really likes your cookies.”

“That's cool.” He says raising his eyebrow before continuing. “But are you sure you'll find what you're looking for by asking his parents?”

“He would know if his own parents be able to help me. He says that all kinds of ponies have done all kinds of experiments with him to figure out his mystery, but nopony has figured anything out.” She says turning a little introspective. “Maybe I can figure something out, even just a hint. I just want to know what the mystery is and then I can work from there.”

“Sounds confusing. I think I'll just stay with Mom and Dad.” He says after finishing his mouthful of food.

“Alright. You take care of the mess and I'll go make the arrangements.” She says finishing up the last of her pancakes. “I'll be back soon.”

***

Never There is just about to leave the house after breakfast to drop by the market when a knock sounds from his front door. He was wondering when she would be by today. With a smile he opens the door all the way, showing her that she's welcome to come in. She looks around a bit before looking at the floor to awkwardly scuff her hoof against the floor. He smiles, thinking about how different she is today comparatively.

“I'm sorry about last night. I couldn't help myself. Something similar happened a while back with Pinkie Pie and I learned I just have to accept certain things that can't understood, but your mystery is just so... different. Even if I can't understand it, I'd be content with simply learning what the mystery is.” She says apologetically.

It's alright, Twilight. I know how some ponies can get when they have a conundrum of this magnitude placed in front of them. He writes. I take it you'd like to visit my parents?

“Very much so.” She says after reading the note. “They must be very special ponies to have raised you to be such a gentlecolt despite your mystery. I can imagine it took some getting used to when it first happened and they realized you hadn't simply disappeared.”

You can say that again. He writes after a bout of laughter. My mother was laughing hysterically and my father started drinking his prized scotch like it was water. I was in the house the entire time and with me just out of grade school it took me a little while to figure out some method of communication. Then I found out I could still open doors and I figured out that if I could open doors, I could still write with pen and ink. Some things changed of course, but a lot stayed the same. You're right about me having special parents, and I'm sure you'll figure that out soon after meeting them.

“Oh my.” Twilight responds a little shocked and saddened. If he has been like this since he was barely past foalhood, I can only imagine how tough life must have been for him. “Well, I'm really happy you moved to Ponyville in any case. Otherwise I don't think we would ever have had the chance to make each others acquaintance. I think we can make arrangements to have a dinner party at my friend Rarities place in a couple days if you'd be interested. I'm sure my other friends would like to meet you.”

That sounds wonderful. I'll leave everything to you. He writes. I'll give you my parents address and a letter of introduction to see that everything goes smoothly. I have to drop by the market before the early morning deals end. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to haggle with the stall keepers here.

Twilight's honest laughter at his joke makes him feel that everything's going to be just fine between them. This is really nice, having somepony who's just as accepting as my parents for a friend. He thinks warmly as he writes the letter and his parents names along with their work and home addresses. After giving them to Twilight, she sees he way out fairly promptly and he leaves shortly after to see about those lovely deals. He has a few books he'd like to order soon and every spare bit adds up after all.

***

After she dropped off Spike at her parents Twilight finds herself walking down one of the more obscure paths on the Canterlot University campus to an even more obscure building. It's around ten when she arrives in Canterlot and figures that they would still be at work. When she saw that they work at the University, she almost started hopping down the streets of Ponyville on her way back to her place. She didn't, of course. Instead, she let herself bounce up on each step in a manner Pinkie Pie would have been jealous of. Since they were professors, she knew she would get some answers.

Walking slowly enough to make sure she follows the map and instructions provided by the info booth attendant correctly, she finds herself in front of a squashed looking cube of a building with small windows dotted evenly across its surface marching up five levels. It doesn't have a immaculate sign anywhere on the little strip of grass separating the building from the rest of the pathway like the other buildings. I wonder why it's unlabeled? She thinks curious about the oddity but another wave of curiosity brushes the stray thought aside and she walks inside.

The first thing she notices about the building is that it's cold. Cold enough that she wishes she had the big, fluffy sweater her mom gave her last Hearth's Warming Eve. She can faintly see her breath even. She sighs quietly, causing a small plume of mist to form in front of her, as she walks over to the front desk. There isn't anypony sitting behind the desk and no noise coming from the back room, so she looks around for some kind of directory. Instead, she finds a small scrap of aged paper weighted down by a copper tap bell. Down the hall and to the left.

Down the hall and to the left? She thinks as she wonders why they would leave such strange instructions when they could as easily have left a directory. She looks a little more for one before she gives up and follows the notes instructions. She goes down the hall and takes the first left she comes to. Continuing down that hallway, she looks at the note again to make sure she gets the right office. Ever Here (My Mother), and Pure Interval (My Father). She checks the first door she comes across and sees both of their names beside the door, a PH.D. tacked on after each. That was easy enough, and they have their PH.D.'s. Impressive. She thinks smiling that everything is going a lot smoother and turning out even better than she would have imagined. She knocks on the door politely and waits a moment for the door to open. She's greeted by a beautiful unicorn mare a few years older than her own mother with the oddest mane and coat combination she has ever seen. It's not the colors as both are shades of gray, but something about the combination makes it appear as though the two shades swap places as she watches. It's disconcerting to say the least.

“Yes?” She says as she look at Twilight. “Can I help you?”

“Oh!” Twilight responds after a hasty gulp. “Yes. I'm Twilight Sparkle and a friend of your son, Never There. He said that I should visit you and your husband to have a few things explained to me. He even gave me a letter of introduction.”

“Really? That's wonderful! I was wondering when that boy of ours would make some friends, and such a cute one at that.” She says with a welcoming smile. “My name is Ever Here and my husband is Pure Interval. I'm alone at the moment, so why don't you come in and warm up with some fresh coffee?”

“That would be great.” She says with a blush, she follows Ever in quickly and closes the door behind her. “Why is it so cold here anyways.”

“It's always like this, but you get used to it. Please, make yourself comfortable and I'll make us some coffee. Are you a student here at the University? You seem familiar.” Ever says as they walk into a shared lounge past two doors which are presumably their offices. There are a couple low chairs, a coffee table as well as a couch in the center of the room with the walls on her right and left have stuffed book shelves. Literally books on books in puzzle-like arrangements leaving no open space. The walls behind her has a counter set against it which is home to the divine instruments that make that blessed black brew as well as some picture frames.

“Thank you and no, I'm not a student here.” Twilight responds as she walks across the room to look out the window to the ground below. The ground below. What? “Ever? Ever?!”

She turns back to Twilight with a questioning look.

“What floor are we on?” Twilight asks shakily.

“The fifth floor. Like always. Or did we drop down a floor again?” She says with a tired sigh as she goes to look out the other window. “Oh! Good, we're still on the fifth floor.”

“What?” Twilight responds. There's that multiple layered word again. She's starting to get the hang of that trick. “How... But... Reason... Logic... None of this makes sense. I must be going insane, right?”

“Not at all, my dear. You're perfectly sane, though I don't know for how long if you know quantum linguistics.” Ever says wryly. “Welcome to the Metaphysics Department of Canterlot University.”

It's too much. She thinks as she faints, the ground five floors below being the last thing she sees.

Some time later Twilight opens her eyes to see the pristine ceiling of the lounge. She finds herself lying on the couch and sits up with a slight blush at remembering that she had fainted. Looking around, she sees light coming from the open office on her left, so she gets up and goes to see if it's Ever inside. It is, so she knocks on the door frame causing Ever to look up from a paper that looks more like a manuscript for a new novel.

“Come on in, Twilight.” She says putting the paper aside. After Twilight sits, Ever floats a large mug of coffee over from a side table for her.

“Thanks.” She says as she takes a tentative sip of the rich brew. “Sorry about that.”

“It's quite alright, dear. We get that reaction far more than you would expect.” Ever responds with a gentle smile to let her know that she's not the only one. “It's almost one now and my husband should be back anytime now.”

“Is he teaching class right now? What is it he got his degree in?” Twilight asks curiously.

“He's in the other office right now.” Ever responds casually.

“I thought you said you were alone?” Twilight says with a confounded expression.

“Oh, I am.” She says with a straight face. “Once he begins work on a project, he goes off into a special place in his mind as he ponders the solution. I'm quite alone during these times, but he does come up for air at specific times. I don't know how he does it though. He tried teaching me the trick a few times, but I could never figure out how to compartmentalize my mind.”

“Uh-huh.” Twilight says, trying to keep the skepticism from her voice as much as she can.

“We normally leave for home around this time. Would you care to come to our home to talk at leisure about your questions?” Ever asks congenially.

“If I wouldn't be a bother.” She says looking at the steaming surface of her coffee.

“Not at all.” Ever replies. “I'll make us a bite to eat since you were out of it for the lunch hour and we normally don't eat the meals here.”

“I look forward to it. I actually had supper last night with your son along with a couple friends of mine and that stew he made was so good.” Twilight says imagining how much better it would be from the originator herself.

“I never should have gave him that recipe. He still visits, but as long as I had that above his head I could coax him to stay longer than three or four days.” She says grumpily as she leans back in her seat. “But I can see some good came of it at least, if he's bringing pretty young mares to his table.” She says with a sly smile.

“Please, I'm no-” She starts to say but is cut off by the older mare across the table.

“Of course you are, Twilight. But enough of that for now. Lets go see if Val is back.” Ever says as she gets up and walks out of the office. She knocks on the other door and asks “You back honey? We have a guest today and she's a friend of Never.”

“What? Really? That's fantastic!” Says a lively voice from behind the door which opens a second later to reveal a earth pony with a light brown coat and a black and white mane and tail. “Where is she?”

“In my office finishing her coffee. She had a bit of a fright a little bit ago, but she's quite all right.” She responds before giving him a quick kiss. “Her name is Twilight Sparkle and she's here to ask us a few questions about Never.”

“Fantastic.” He replies before walking partly into Evers office. “Did my beautiful wife extend an invitation to have lunch with us?”

“Yes, she did, and I would be honored to join you two for lunch.” Twilight responds with a smile.

“Wonderful. We can head out when you finish your coffee.” He says stepping back out. “Do you have any more coffee, dear? I could definitely use a quick cup.”

“Only a little, but it should be enough for you until he get back home.” Ever replies. They talk casually about mundane things in the lounge as Twilight finishes her coffee. When she's done, she leaves the office and returns to the lounge to see them sitting beside each other on the couch. She clears her throat politely to draw their attention.

“Thank you for the coffee. It was very good.” Twilight says.

“Thank you.” Ever replies. “If you're going to drink coffee, it should always be exceptional otherwise it'll mess with your thinking. I've learned that the hard way by having a cup from the staff lounge. You don't want to know how that turned out for me.” She says with a slight shudder.

“I couldn't find her for five days. Turns out she took a wrong turn and ended up in Vanhoover.” Val says with a chuckle. “I didn't worry overly much because I knew she would get everything sorted out eventually. Well, lets get going. I'm ready for some lunch. Just follow us and think about the entrance of the building.”

“'Down the hall and to the left?'” Twilight quotes for confirmation.

“She catches on quickly. No wonder Never sent her to us.” Ever says smugly. “Where did you go to school? I'd like to know the name of the institution that raises such bright young minds.”

“Well, I was only partially enrolled in the School for Gifted Unicorns, but I am the personal student of Princess Celestia.” She replies proudly. “I'm still learning, and sad would be the day I don't learn something new.”

“Very commendable.” Val says with a wide smile. “Though you may find the things we can teach you may not be the most comfortable or easily digestible of things. It takes a special kind of pony to be able to wrap their mind around some of these things, let alone understand the implications.”

“Well, I can try at least.” She replies.

“No pressure, Twilight.” Ever says. “We should get going. I'm quite hungry now and I'm sure you are as well.”

“Sounds good to me.” Val says hopping off the couch. Ever and Val gather a few things from their offices and make their way out to the hallway with Twilight trailing slightly behind. They turn left to go down the hallway, Twilight using her magic to try to notice if anything is going on in that way. There are no active spells being used, though she does sense an ambient magical atmosphere. She doesn't sense it doing anything, but it seems as though it's constantly dissipating yet it never seems to run out. They come to at first branch and turn left, Twilight senses the magic suddenly evaporate from the air as the entrance comes into view only to suddenly be there again.

“What was that?” She asks quietly.

“What was that dear?” Ever says looking over to shoulder.

“What was that magic doing? I noticed a passive aura but it suddenly evaporated when we made our turn around the corner and now it's back. I've never experienced anything like it before.” She says excitedly.

“Oh, that. It's something the department head came up with.” Ever replies as they exit the building. “It's how I ended up in Vanhoover, actually. Sent him and the rest of the staff into fits of laughter when they found out. It converts active thought into spacial transit. That conversion from pure thought into active energy is the main reason why it's always so cold here as well. Something about high energy quantum processes being decompressed into a probability cascade.”

“I... don't... really understand any of that.” Twilight says a little dazedly, trying to make any sense of the explanation.

“It's alright, dear. Not many ponies do.” Ever says consolingly. “We prefer to commute to and from home. It gives us a little extra time together each day where we can simply enjoy the here between there.”

“I think I understand that. A little bit, anyways.” Twilight says. Ever and Val chuckle a little, but it's not the superior laughter of a learned pony mocking another. Instead, it's more like they're simply enjoying her, for who she is. Despite the seeming absurdity of everything that has gone on so far today, Twilight feels that this was definitely the right thing to do. Her companions are so easily accepting of others and their differences gives Twilight a small glimpse of how Never There turned out the way he did.

They leave the University and begin tracing the way she took to get here. They talk of casual things with the odd question directed at Twilight to get to know her better with her asking about them on occasion as well. She finds out that Ever is a theoretical philosopher and Val is a speculative mathematician. They met each other at a conference in Manehatten after a seminar that Ever had given, Val wanting to meet the mare who had opened his mind up to another realm that was closer than he ever would have imagined. They hit it off and began a correspondence, meeting each other once a month to begin work on a project detailing the exactitude of the difference between here and there. They are still working on that project even now, although it has been simmering for the past decade. They refer to it fondly as their “matchmaker” because it was through this single project that they spent more and more time together, eventually falling in love with one another. It was all quite romantic in an impassioned intellectual kind of way and they've never been happier. Twilight eventually finds herself walking down the street her parents live on and surprise slowly takes hold as they lead her to the house across the street from her parents home. What are the odds? She thinks looking back and forth between the two houses.

“Is something the matter Twilight?” Val asks as he notices her looking back and forth.

“You two live across the street from my parents.” She says a little disbelieving.

“Oh! You're Velvet and Night's daughter?” Ever says with sudden realization. “Now I remember why you seem so familiar. I used to see you and your brother playing together in the street all the time when you were just a little filly.”

“This is just unbelievable. Just last night, Spike wondered if you two knew my parents or not.” Twilight says with a little laugh. “He was more right than he knew.”

“Spike?” Val asks curiously as they walk inside.

“He's a baby dragon I hatched when I was a little filly. It's how I gained admittance to the School and became the Princess' personal student.” Twilight replies.

“Really? You'll have to bring him along next time if you come over for a social visit, I'd love to meet the little fellow.” Ever says looking forward to the occasion.

They walk into the house together, Twilight noticing that their house is very similar to her parents. Comfortable furniture set about the living room with more than a few book cases. She notices that their home isn't unnaturally cold, so she breaths a sigh of relief that she wouldn't be sent across Equestria by an errant thought as she rounds a corner. They make their way down the hallway a bit past a staircase to the kitchen where Val is already setting ingredients out for lunch.

“It shouldn't take us too long to get lunch around if you'd like to take a seat at the table. We're having pumpkin soup today, with fresh salad and bread.” Ever says.

“That sounds absolutely amazing, but I can help out if you want.” Twilight replies.

“It's quite alright. It doesn't take us long, and good company will just make it that much faster.” Val says with a smile over his shoulder.

“Exactly.” Ever says smiling at his words. Twilight takes a seat and watches as her hosts go about their preparations. Such an odd couple, but their love and happiness around each other is undeniable. She thinks watching them work. It's not uncommon for ponies to marry outside of their respective types, but it's even more uncommon for an earth and unicorn couple. I guess it's true that love truly knows no bounds. They work efficiently, talking with each other as they go about their business. They laugh at some quip or other and their perpetual smiles never leave their faces as though they are supremely happy as long as they have each other at their side. Twilight smiles as she watches them. They remind her of her own parents... if they worked in reality bending philosophies and worried about their office swapping floors as though it were a common occurrence. Twilight laughs a little at the absurdity of it all, drawing the curious look of Ever. Twilight shakes her head, showing that it's something she shouldn't worry about. True to their word, lunch is ready in about twenty minutes. Plates, bowls and silverware float around the room to settle around the table with Ever and Val's places set across from Twilight.

“Lunch is served.” Ever says as she sits in front of the right arrangement.

“It smells great.” Twilight says smelling the faint, spicy aroma of the soup. Taking a spoonful o the light orange soup, she tastes the creamy pumpkin laced with freshly cracked pepper. “Thank you very much for lunch, by the way. It's excellent.”

“Not a problem, and I'm glad you like the soup. We don't get many guests aside from the odd co-worker.” Val says as he takes the seat beside his wife. “We have invited your parents over on occasion, though they seem a little uncomfortable coming over after we had our son here at the same time to have dinner with all of us.”

“I could only imagine.” Twilight says with laughter silvering her voice. “I hope they didn't end up running and screaming back home like I did when I first met your son. All this happened because of an overdue book.”

“Oh my, no.” Ever says sharing a little laugh at her parents expense. “Though it seems like you got over it quick enough. They just got a bit nervous and flinched every time Never set his spoon down or took a piece of bread. They never got used to his notes either, responding with the bare minimum.”

“That sounds like them.” Twilight says with a snort. “They didn't quite know how to act after I accidentally turned them into potted plants. They got better though, after Princess Celestia intervened. I began control lessons shortly after and everything went back to normal faster than expected.”

“It sounds like you had quite the foalhood.” Val says with a grin. “So, to the matter at hoof. You have some questions for my wife and I?”

“Yes. The biggest one I'd like to ask is why does nothing interact with him, but he can interact with other things?” She says eagerly.

“Oh, that's easy. It's his perception.” Ever says simply.

“Perception?” Twilight says utterly confused.

“Of course. Perception. I'll demonstrate.” She points to her fork on the table. “Would you say that my fork is there?”

“Yes?” Twilight responds. Ever picks it up with her hoof.

“Now, for me, it's here.” She says with a smile. Twilight furrows her brow.

“Some sugar was spilled around him last night, but none of it settled on or around him though. How does that work?” She asks.

“How did my fork transition from there to here? Because I wanted it to through a decision. If I didn't want my fork here, I would have left it there.” Ever says.

“But how is he able to make that distinction? Nopony can choose to have or not have something land on them.” She replies.

“Of course you can. You can get out of the way, can't you?” Ever responds.

“Yeah, of course.” Twilight responds.

“It's the same principle. Our son has the special talent of being between here and there. At least that's what we think it is.” Val says picking up the conversation.

“Being between here and there?” Twilight asks even more confused.

“Yes. Not only is our handsome son the most precious part of our life, but he is also the living embodiment of some of our theories.” Val taps his bowl lightly, not even visibly moving it. “This is one of them. Even though I didn't visibly move my bowl, it still moved from its here to there.”

“Our son is simply in a state of constant, imperceptible transition between here and there.” Ever says happily. “Well, that's what we believe in any case. There are still inconsistencies and paradoxes we can't account for as of yet, so it's still a working hypothesis.”

“I don't get any of it.” Twilight deadpans.

“That's perfectly okay, dear.” Ever says with a smile. “Would you like a slice of carrot cake for desert?”

“I would love a slice of cake.” Twilight says, coming up for breath mentally. She remembers the expression about going off the deep end, and never has she ever felt the veracity of a saying in such a way before. “I think I'm done with questions for the day though. I'm going to try to understand what you've told me so far and ask the Princess about starting my lessons in your fields.”

“If you have any questions, any at all, feel free to drop by and we can help you as much as we can.” Val says helpfully. “We're thinking about having a small dinner party next week on Friday if you would be interested in joining us. We'll extend an invitation to your parents as well if you think they wouldn't mind.”

“I'll let them know. I'm sure they would be pleased to get to know you two better in any case. You're both such wonderful ponies and the food... it's beyond good.” Twilight says with a smile.

“Thank you very much. We'd be happy to have them over again.” Ever says as she sets a plate with a nice slice of carrot cake in front of Twilight. “If you have any friends you would like to bring along are certainly welcome as well. It'll be a casual affair, so there's no need to dress up or anything.”

“I'm certain my friends would love to come along as well.” She says before she takes a bite of cake. The cake is smooth and lightly spiced without being overbearing. The walnuts are deliciously crispy and the icing is more buttery than sweet. “Oh, I could get used to this.”

“I'm glad you like our cooking so much.” Ever says laughing a little. “It's one of the recipes Never has yet to wheedle out of me. It seems as though we may be able to get you up the mountain for more than the occasional question if we have cake and good coffee.”

“You're a devious pony, Ever Here.” Twilight says mock hurt. “How could you hold you do this to me! The thought of you luring me back with the promise of food, I thought I had more control than this.”

They all enjoy a laugh at that as they lead the conversation to inconsequential things, like Twilight's studies, good books recently read and general life in Ponyville since they can barely make it down the mountain. They all have one more cup of coffee to wash the lingering sweetness away while they talk. Twilight leaves around two thirty with a happy farewell to her hosts and walks across the street to her parents home. Spike opens the door as she walks up the steps with an odd look. She walks inside before he says anything though.

“I was only joking when I said that that stuff last night, Twilight.” Spike says with a little disbelief. “I was watching out the window since I figured you might be back for a late lunch. I never expected to see you coming from the house across the street.”

“Turns out they do know Mom and Dad too.” She says with a little laugh at Spikes look of shock. “They're having a dinner party next Friday too if you want to come along. They'd like to meet you personally.”

“Was his Moms cooking even better than his?” Spike asks curiously.

“Oh yeah. I'll be coming back to Canterlot a lot more than to just visit Mom and Dad or the Princess from now on.” Twilight says with a rueful chuckle.

“Oh man. I can't wait! This is gonna be awesome, Twilight.” He says but his good mood diminishes a little as he asks, “So did you learn anything?”

“I only learned that I have a lot more to learn.” She replies with a sigh.

“Isn't that something you said you hoped would happen? You know, always wanting to learn something new every day?” He says.

“Yeah, but I don't know how much I'll pick up. The stuff they know and do on a daily basis literally defies logic.” She says a little strained.

“I don't know anything about it, but don't go off the deep end on me.” He says with a chuckle.

“Ha! I'll tell you right now, I know exactly what that feels like.” Twilight says laughing a little at the look Spike gives her.

“You want to visit with your parents for a while before we head back to Ponyville at least?” Spike asks a little worriedly at her odd turn of phrase, not knowing if she's joking or not.

“That sounds great. I could use a little here before there right now.” Twilight says. She laughs again at Spikes expression before she heads fully into the house to visit with her parents.

Author's Note

It runs in the family, and apparently it's contagious...

Eight Guests and an Empty Seat

Eight Guests and a Empty Seat (Part One of Two)

It's the morning of the day after Twilight's trip to Canterlot and she still feels a little disoriented. Her perfectly logical world has been revealed to have pockets that seem to openly mock her carefully constructed worldview like a small, ill-mannered foal hitting a table leg, threatening to topple her house of cards. She can't reason with it. She can't ignore it. She now has to take a step back and play with it. She shudders, suddenly thinking about what that foal would do to her house of cards if it decides to throw a temper tantrum.

So, she has made tentative arrangements to “play” with it. Only a few minutes ago she sent a letter to Princess Celestia about the new directions she wants to take in her studies. She hopes her mentor doesn't send a reply too soon, it is an important decision and she would only want the best for her faithful student after all. Twilight walks downstairs with Spike in tow to help with breakfast instead of letting him sleep in a little extra today. They decide on a cold breakfast since they want to get to work as soon as possible. Re-shelving day is finally going to happen and they want to get through it as quickly as possible.

They settle in the library, each taking up their respective role and get to work efficiently. They fall into the familiar routine with only the barest of words passing between them. Despite the massive delay, they finish up a little before noon. With a sigh, Twilight heads to the kitchen for a drink of water after the last book is settled in its niche. Spike enters soon after and rummages around in the fridge for a chilled gem, popping it in his mouth with a sigh of satisfaction.

“So, what else do we have to do today?” He asks.

“Not much to be honest. I need to drop by Rarity's place soon though so we can make plans for a dinner party with Never There.” A giggle escapes from her throat as she remembers the conversation with Pinkie about how their friends would react to their intangible acquaintance. “I want to keep it a secret about how he is though.”

“Are you sure that's a good idea, Twilight?” He says skeptically. “Remember how we ran screaming from his place at our first encounter with him? I'd hate think about how everypony would react in the same room. Though I'm sure Rarity could handle it.”

“Maybe it's Pinkie and Dash rubbing off on me, but I think it'll turn out better like this.” Twilight says confidently. “Our friends always shine the brightest when we have a little uncertainty thrown in the mix.”

“If you say so...” He says skeptically. “I hope you have a backup plan just in case it all goes to Tartarus in a hoof-basket.”

“Spike, you worry too much.” She says laughingly at turning the tables on her long time friend. He just splutters incoherently at the audacity of the accusation and settles for dragging his hand down his face before he finally talks again.

“So... can I tag along with you to Rarity's?” He says blandly. “I think I've been spending too much time around you for my own good and an outside influence might do me some good.”

“Sure, and I am a perfect role model, Spike.” Twilight responds primly. “Screaming panic attacks aside.”

That gets the two of them laughing in a good way as they close the library. With light hearts and a smile on their lips, they walk across the town square to Carousel Boutique. With a weighted glance at Spike, who shrugs his shoulders and sheds all responsibility for what may happen, Twilight opens the door to the store front. They walk in to see Rarity look up from across the room at the jingle of her bell and smiles at the sight of her friends dropping by.

“Twilight! Spike! What a pleasant surprise for you two to come by. I was thinking about going out for lunch in a moment so why don't you two join me? My treat.” She says as she crosses the room with a slight bounce in her step.

“That sounds great, Rarity. I was hoping to talk to you about maybe setting up a dinner party with the all girls as well.” Twilight says as they all walk right back out the door.

“A dinner party? Why all the formality?” Suddenly she stops with a dramatic gasp. “You don't have a coltfriend, do you?”

“What? No.” Twilight responds with a slight blush. Why does everypony think I'm interested in Never There? First it was his parents who hardly knew me before they started insinuating and now it's one of my friends who doesn't even know him. Twilight thinks huffily but responds, “But he is a new friend I made a couple days ago. Pinkie Pie knows him too, just so you know. He invited Pinkie, Spike and I over for dinner the other night and he is a perfect gentlecolt.”

“Oh.” She says as she gets cut short. “Well, in that case, I would love to play the host. I apologize for jumping to conclusions, Twilight. But he must be quite the stallion if you want to introduce him to all of us.”

“There's definitely more to him than meets the eye.” Twilight says with a smirk. Spike trips on an unseen stone while standing still, the most ridiculous expression of disbelief on his face as he lands in the dirt. “You okay there, Spike?”

“Yeah...” He says a little breathlessly. “Yeah... just fine.”

“Oh, dear. Let me dust you off, Spikey. Can't have you all dirty when we get to the restaurant.” Rarity says levitating him to his feet and brushing the offending dust with an ethereal feather duster. “There, good as new. Now, allons-y my dears for lunch is on me.”

Twilight and Spike smile at Rarity's turn of phrase, following a little behind as they continue on to hold a heated, whispered conversation.

“What the hay are you trying to pull Twilight?” Spike says, opening with a direct attack.

“I'm not pulling anything. I'm being completely honest with my friend.” She counters.

“That's not what I meant. If you keep this up, I won't be able to come tomorrow night because I'll be in stitches from trying not to bust my gut.” He replies with a few mirthful tears on the edge of his eyes. “I never knew you of all ponies could pull something like that with a straight face.”

“I just thought a few... turns of phrase would help you see how good this will turn out.” She says snickering at his response. “Anyways, it can't be healthy to hold it in like that. If you have to, just go to the restroom and take care of your business there.”

Spikes face is priceless as he tries with all his might to not laugh, ending up with a odd choking sound as a few tears leak from the corners of his eyes. Rarity, however, is clueless to Spikes slow death by humor induced asphyxiation. She hums happily to herself at the thought of not only having a lovely lunch with two of her friends, but planning a dinner party for tomorrow night as well. She wouldn't have to worry about cooking everything, so that is a big plus in her book as her friends always brought a little something when they have a get together. They finally arrived at the little cafe a couple blocks away when Rarity finally looks over her shoulder to her friends. Twilight is looking curiously off into the distance while Spike is breathing as though he had run a marathon in the distance they traveled.

“Is something the matter Spike? You seem a little out of breath.” Rarity says eyeing the little dragon.

“I'm fine... Never better. Just a private joke that got me a little worked up is all.” He says with an easy smile.

“Really? Do tell... I love a good joke.” Rarity says with grin. Spikes eyes widen slightly at the thought of ruining Twilight's plans already, so he treads water with as much flair as he can manage.

“It's a dragon thing... You wouldn't get it.” He says suavely. Rarity just raises an eyebrow and shrugs a shoulder with a look of slight disappointment. Smooth move, Romeo. “But I do know a few others I can tell you over lunch.”

“That sounds wonderful.” She replies with a small smile as they seat their selves around a free table. “So, if you don't mind my asking, what is the name of the gentlecolt we will have the honor of meeting?”

“Never There.” Twilight responds simply as she lifts a menu off the table. Rarity leans back a little, blinking just a little too fast.

“Such an odd name. What does he do for a living?” Rarity asks curiously.

“Making headaches, but he seems pretty well-to-do all the same.” Twilight responds. “He lives by himself but has few friends, so I thought it would be a good idea to have a dinner party with our friends.”

“Surely you must be kidding. 'Making headaches?' If that's your attempt at a joke, it's certainly a poor one.” Rarity says with a mock air of offense. Spike looks at the ground as a fit of silent giggles wracks his body, making Rarity too look at him with a look of pure confusion.

“Okay, he doesn't have a job per se, but he is self sustaining from what I can tell. Very comfortable with his lifestyle.” Twilight responds with a wave of her hoof. “I think I'll have marigold sandwich with some lemongrass tea, is that alright with you Rarity?”

“Absolutely. But that must mean he is an investor of one persuasion or other. Has he dropped any hints as to his field of venture?” Rarity asks, her inner businessmare coming out. “If he's involved in gem trading, I could get some hints about making some profitable transactions with his know how. Or maybe he's a business investor...” She says trailing off, likely imagining a wealthy and handsome benefactor who would help her store reach for the skies, not to mention sweeping her off her hooves at the same time.

“I don't know about any of that, but I know you all will enjoy his company in any case. He certainly has a way with words.” Twilight says smoothly. Spike however can't take it any more and makes a hasty exit to the restroom with the barest of excuses. At Rarity's odd look, Twilight says, “He drank a lot of water before we left.”

“Ah.” Rarity says with a knowing smile. They make arrangements for Twilight to go around inviting all their other friends while Rarity will focus on setting up the Boutique for a dinner party while Spike is away. He finally comes back, his legs a little unsteady and slides into his seat, his cheeks a little flushed from his activities.

“Welcome back, Spikey.” Rarity says chipper, ignoring his sudden departure. “Do you know what you're going to have for lunch? No need to hold back on my account.”

“I think I'll just stick to some hay fries with powdered ruby on top and a glass of cold milk.” He says licking his lips.

“Are you sure? You can have more than just that.” She says as though they're skimping just because it's on her bill. “At the very least, you two are going to have some dessert as well and I won't take 'no' for an answer.”

They concede to her demand with a smile and place their orders which return in short order. They spend the next hour chatting amiably over their meal. They decide who should bring what for food and determine what the main course should be and that the party should start at seven thirty so that there are no schedule conflicts. After that, they move on to inconsequential things until Rarity makes her farewells with promises that tomorrow will be absolutely amazing. Finishing off her tea, Twilight looks to Spike with a little smile.

“You know, I didn't actually think you'd go running off to the restroom.” She says, voice laced heavily with mirth.

“That's not funny.” He says blushing a bit. “You made me do that in front of Rarity. Rarity! Come on Twilight, that's not cool.”

“I'm sorry, Spike. I'll make it up to you.” She says contrite. “How about I let you stay with Rarity the next time I go up to Canterlot?”

“Make it the next two times, and you got yourself a deal.” He says with a sharp glance at her.

“You got it, buddy.” She says happy that everything is put right. “Now, lets drop by Pinkie's first and let her in on the plans and what we're doing. I'm sure she can appreciate a good joke. Then we'll let Never know what's going on.”

Spike nods with a big grin and hops off his seat, ready to be off with Twilight on her hilariously devious plans.

“And then... and then she says 'he certainly has a way with words!'” Spike says rolling on the ground with Pinkie as they laugh uproariously. “You should have been there! I could barely get out of sight before I lost it!”

“He he he he!” Pinkie giggles as she hugs her sides, gasping. “Twilight... Dashie has nothing on you when it comes to this! I gotta come along with you guys...”

“Can you keep a straight face? I don't want to let them know anything's up. I want this to be the best group prank in the history of us being friends.” Twilight says after catching her breath. She had to let it out too, now that she was safe in Sugar Cube Corner's kitchen.

“Oh-ho-ho yea...” Pinkie says as she gets back up. “I don't wanna miss this for anything.”

“Good. Lets let Never know what's up and then we'll make our way over to Fluttershy's place.” Twilight says with a grin. “It may be a little scary for them at first, but like you said last Nightmare Night, 'it's fun to be scared.'”

“Oooohhh... I can't wait for tomorrow night.” Pinkie says as she deflates slightly.

“One more thing before we leave, Never wants to work out some arrangement with you for ordering more of your maple glazed cinnamon rolls.” Twilight says.

“No problemo. Anything for a friend.” She says hopping up once before she begins to bounce out the back door before stopping suddenly and turning around. “Oh! Let me tell Mrs. Cake I'm heading out real quick. I'm only supposed to work a half-day anyways.”

***

Never There is sitting in his chair with a book after eating a reheated bowl of stew from two nights ago. It really does get better with a little age. He thinks contentedly. It has been a quiet day so far but didn't expect it to last. He wasn't expecting anything drastic or life altering, but definitely something. That something just so happens to be Twilight, Pinkie Pie and Spike dropping by for a visit. He opens the door and they file in, all very excited with big smiles permanently stuck on their faces.

Good afternoon, everyone. I take it something has come up? He writes after they come inside.

“Very much so.” Twilight says excitedly. “I've talked with one of my friends, Rarity, and we've arranged a dinner party tomorrow night at seven thirty to introduce you to the rest of out friends.”

I take it you've told them about... my lack of presence? He writes hoping for the best.

“Nope!” Pinkie chimes in.

“Well... in a roundabout kind of way I have been...” Twilight says a little embarrassed. “I'm kind of hoping to pull the biggest group prank in the history of our friendship... if you're willing to go along with it.”

Never sighs. It's not a big sigh, but it says a lot. Am I really contemplating this? He thinks, swiping a hoof across his muzzle. Yes... Yes I am. Maybe this is what it means to 'unleash a little Tartarus' once in a while. Celestia knows my life has been fairly tame. With a smile, he writes three simple words (two of which have been contracted) that will either end up with him having more friends or being the spark that is the next mass panic Ponyville will experience.

I'm game.

***

“Hey Fluttershy, how's it going?” Twilight says as they walk up to her house. She's outside at the moment, feeding the various wild birds that come by daily.

“Oh! Hello everyone.” She says winging her way over to them after emptying her seed basket. “I'm doing pretty well today. What brings you three here?”

“Well, Rarity is hosting a dinner party tomorrow night to introduce a new friend of ours by the name of Never There. Pinkie, Spike and I met him a couple days ago. It may be very startling when you first meet him, but it's clearly visible how nice he is and he's as quiet as a mouse. He even has a pet goldfish named Blubs.” Twilight explains.

“Oh, really? I won't judge him by how he looks, I promise.” Fluttershy promises solemnly. Spike and Pinkie emit little noises from behind Twilight who quickly continues on to cover their slip.

“I know I can count on you, Fluttershy. I'll tell you right now that you're going to really like him.” Twilight assures her confidently.

“If you three like him this much, then I'm sure I'll see what you saw in him too.” She says smiling. Twilight makes some quick small talk about what time the party is and asks Fluttershy if she would bring some of her granola bars as well. They head off to Sweet Apple Acres from there.

After having a relatively minor breakdown along the way, they make it to the farm proper about twenty minutes later. Apple Bloom and Applejack are apparently just getting back from town and stop when they notice Twilight and Co. making their way up to them.

“Afternoon, Twilight. What brings ya out ta the farm?” Applejack says when they get close enough. She sends Apple Bloom off to go do her chores with a little nudge and a word.

“We just dropped by to invite you to a dinner party tomorrow night at Rarity's.” When Applejack makes a face, Twilight continues on quickly. “It's not a formal thing or anything, I just want to introduce the rest of my friends to a new acquaintance we made a couple days ago.”

“A new friend, huh?” Applejack says looking up from under her hats brim. “Do I know the pony?”

“I don't think so. His name's Never There and he's so honest that he's absolutely transparent.” Twilight responds with a smile.

“Never heard of 'im. What do you have ta say about 'im Pinks?” Applejack says looking over Twilight's shoulder.

“He has never said a bad word about anypony in my hearing.” She says, her voice a little high strung.

“That's right, AJ.” Spike says chipping in enthusiastically. “I haven't seen him put a hoof wrong in the time that I've known him.”

“Well...” She says taken aback a little at this unanimous show of confidence. “He sounds like a mighty fine pony. I look forward to meetin' him tomorrow night.”

“I know you're gonna have a great time.” Twilight says happily. They tell her what time to be by and what to bring before asking if she had seen Rainbow Dash around. Applejack says that she was napping in one of the trees along the side of the road on her way home, so they thank her and head back towards town with their eyes on the trees.

“Oh my goodness!” Pinkie squees after they get out of earshot. “This is so much fun! I'm really happy Never There gave us the go ahead for this. I never knew word play could be this much fun. Tomorrow night's gonna be absolutely splendiferous!”

“I know!” Spike says with a laugh. “After everypony calms down, I just know they'll like him just as much as we do. Sure it takes a little getting used to, but once you get used to it, he's really nice.”

“He's going to be a wonderful friend for all of us once we get to know him better.” Twilight says to Spike. “If anypony deserves to have friends, it's definitely him. Also, world play was pretty common back in my school.”

“Yeah.” Pinkie says a little subdued. “We're gonna have to be extra special super friends to make up for lost time.”

“I don't know about all that, but lets try to not scare him off.” Twilight says remembering how hard it was to go from being simply introverted to suddenly having friends. “I had a hard time getting used to you all after I moved here and I didn't even have a logical improbability getting in the way of it.”

“No worries, Twilight.” Pinkie says going through the Pinkie Pie Promise motions. “I Pinkie Promise to make sure he gets all of us as his friends and not have to worry about it one little bit.”

“You know what? I think you may be onto something there.” Twilight says looking up a bit and spotting the telltale colors of Rainbow Dash in a tree up ahead. “I'll explain after we're alone again.” Pinkie nods quickly as she spots Rainbows tail drooping from the branch she's sleeping on. They walk on until they're almost under the branch before Twilight speaks up.

“Rainbow Dash? You awake?” Twilight asks neutrally so she doesn't startle her if she is sleeping.

“Not really.” Comes her immediate reply. “Just relaxing a bit.”

“You wanna come down for a moment? We have something to ask you.”

“Sure.” She says as she casually rolls off the branch to land in a ridiculously action styled pose. “What's up?”

“You interested in meeting a totally awesome pony tomorrow night at a dinner party?” Twilight says with a smile.

“Totally awesome? Whoever they are, they can't be nearly as awesome as me.” She says with a toss of her mane.

“Maybe this pony's so awesome, even you can't touch them.” Twilight says casually.

“No way.” Rainbow says disbelieving. “Nopony can't be touched by the Rainbow Dash.”

“Well, just make sure you're at Rarity's tomorrow night by seven thirty and be sure to bring some fruit punch.” Twilight says with a smile. “His name's Never There and you won't even see him coming.”

“Ha!” She says shaking her head. “We'll just see about that.”

Rainbow takes off then, leaving them one pony less as they look at each other with huge grins splitting their faces before they continue on. Once they're sure Rainbow isn't around, they start laughing again, shooting quotes back and forth that keeps the laughter going all the way back to Nevers house. Pinkie and Spike look at her questioningly before she explains that they should tell Never what they had told their other friends.

“Since he's the one central to our plan, he deserves to know about everything.” Twilight says with a firm nod and a smile. “Especially the best parts.”

“Definitely.” Pinkie says bouncing a little in place. “Tomorrow night is gonna be the best!”

“I hope so.” Twilight responds before turning to the front door and knocking. The door opens up again and they all walk in.

***

I haven't laughed this hard in years... Never writes after having recovered enough to do so. They came back about forty five minutes later, wearing smiles and a little weak in the knees. Now he knows why. They talk about their friends a little, their personalities and their lines of work. Then they go into the word play, using what they know about him and their friends to make them excited enough to really look forward to tomorrow night. He's really pleased with himself for letting Twilight go through with her plan. He just hopes they're all laughing at the end of tomorrow night.

“Do you think you might be able to make some more of that amazing stew for tomorrow night?” Twilight asks eagerly.

That shouldn't be too much of a problem. I'll start on it later so it can simmer all night. You three only had the two hour rendition. It's a completely different experience with a long simmer. He writes as he remembers his moms two day stews. He was really spoiled at home when it came to good food. It's probably a good thing I never go out to eat since it probably wouldn't be as good anyways. He thinks to himself sarcastically.

“That sounds awesome!” Spike says enthusiastically. “So, do you have anything going on? If not, you think you might want to hang out for a bit? Maybe I can help you out with the cooking.”

I don't really have anything going on right now, and I would enjoy having some company. He writes. Though, you don't have to help out with the cooking unless you really want to.

“It's not a problem.” He replies. “I do a lot of cooking at home anyways, so I'm always looking to improve.”

In that case, I'd be glad to have your assistance, Spike. He writes happily. If you two want, you can stay as well. I don't have much to offer for entertainment aside from my library and my eloquent conversation.

“Library?” Twilight says as she perks up immediately with a laugh at his jibe. “I would love to see your library... If it's not too much of an inconvenience for you.”

Not at all. Just go upstairs and pick a room. He writes.

“Thank you very much.” She responds. “What about you Pinkie?”

“I think I'll help in the kitchen. Another helping hoof wouldn't hurt, right?” She says cheerfully.

That would be wonderful Pinkie. Thank you. He replies. How about we get started sooner rather than later so that we can have an early supper. I don't want to be tempted all through the night by the stew and leave none for anypony else.

“That might be something to worry about if you had Pinkie over for the night, but I think that's a good idea in any case.” Twilight says with a giggle at her friend. “I'll make my way upstairs, so when supper's ready just come and find me if you would Spike?”

“No problem.” He says as Twilight turns to find the staircase. “But don't blame me if you get lost in a book and miss the meal.”

“Don't worry about that. If Never turns his hoof to a meal, I won't miss it for anything.” She says with a smile.

Now, lets get started... He writes leading the way to the kitchen to begin preparations with his eager friends.

***

Going upstairs, Twilight discovers that the staircase bisects the house neatly. Looking around a little through trial and error, Twilight found that there are six rooms total, three on each side. The master bedroom along with a guest room are side by side to the left with an empty room ending that side at the back. The other three have been dedicated to his books. Never There has a lot of books. Three rooms dedicated, so far, to nothing but books. They sit patiently along each of the walls in each room and resting on free standing shelves, though the third room is only about a third full.

This is an impressive personal collection. Twilight thinks as she slowly walks past each shelf, her eyes glancing at each title. He has first editions of all the literary classics... Philosophy... Physics... Engineering... Natural Sciences... Even Equestrian law and law philosophy. I never would have thought he was so advanced in his education. I think he can put a lot of this to good use if I can figure something out.

“Twilight!” She hears Spike call faintly from downstairs. “You just got a letter from the Princess!”

That's it! She thinks suddenly. The princess can correspond with him and he provide an outside perspective. He could become an adviser of sorts. She stops the rushing thoughts and leaves the room to go downstairs and retrieves the letter with a quick thank you to Spike. Returning upstairs, she opens the letter and reads:

My Faithful Student,

It came as something of a surprise to me earlier today when you sent me a letter requesting to begin your studies in metaphysics. I do not know what brought this on, but I believe that this is a good direction for you to take. I must warn you in advance that in the world of metaphysics, nothing is certain and directly dependent on perception. Be sure that you keep your perception strong as you progress in your studies. You will find that it will often be your lifeline in certain circumstances.

Since you will be coming to these studies knowing little to nothing, I would like to suggest an instructor. If you do not have somepony in mind to be your instructor, I may have a few suggestions that you will find more than qualified to teach you. No need to rush the decision, but if you have somepony in mind, just let me know and I can ask them on your behalf. I will take care of all the arrangements as always, so please do not worry about anything.

Yours Truly,

Princess Celestia

Twilight looks up from the note with a smile. I'll have to ask what Never There thinks about it, but I think I know just the pony to teach me. She thinks as she puts the idea in the back of her mind so she can continue her browsing. She slowly makes her circuit of the room and moves onto the next one which contains a couple walls of more contemporary titles. A good many of them are well established adventure and fantasy series as well as the odd satire thrown in. But as before, most of the room contains advanced studies books. Twilight is thoroughly impressed. The inviting scents of food being cooked begins to worm its way upstairs and her stomach gives a loud growl in response. She hasn't eaten anything since lunch after all as she normally has a small snack between lunch and supper anyways, so she makes her way downstairs.

She enters the kitchen to find Pinkie and Spike working with surprising efficiency. Instead of drawing attention, she silently pulls out a chair with her magic and watches as they go about their assigned jobs. Spike has a chair pulled up to the counter, knife in hand as he rapidly cuts freshly washed leeks. A small pile of potatoes have already been cut up and put in a bowl for quick and easy use. Pinkie is in front of the stove, a frying pan in hoof as she spreads olive oil across its surface. She looks over to Spike and mutters something in the cacophony that surrounds them. He laughs a little and a note shortly appears which Pinkie reads. She laughs and says something again which causes Spike to pass her the leeks which she promptly tosses in the frying pan with a hiss, stirring them around with a solid wood spatula. The smells cause her stomach to rumble even more firmly than before and she settles in to wait when a note suddenly appears in front of her on the table.

Did you enjoy my library? The note says.

“Very much so. I didn't know you had such advanced studies.” She responds with a hoof placed on her chin.

A good part of it's my course books from home. He writes. Although I have bought some of them on my own initiative. I'm glad you appreciate what books I have.

“If anypony can appreciate your books, I would hope that I can, what with being a librarian and scholar as my profession.” She says with a smile and a laugh. Hearing her laugh, Pinkie looks over her shoulder and waves distractedly before going right back to her work. “So I had a thought a little bit ago... What do you think about your Mom teaching me about her line of work?”

What brought this on? He writes curiously.

“Well, there's this pony I know who defies logic in the most profound way I know. I'm just getting to know him better and I think it would be prudent for me to try to understand a little about what's going on around him.” She responds with a smile.

It sounds like this pony has a very good friend if she's already petitioning his mother to learn more about him. He writes with a chuckle.

“I think it may go the other way as well, despite the difficulties when they met for the first time.” She replies.

Sometimes the friendships that start rocky end up being the strongest in the end. He replies. I don't think he would mind his mother teaching one of his friends at all either.

“I should know all about that.” Twilight says laughing a little. “I should tell you about my first time in Ponyville...”

They spend the next ten minutes or so companionably as Twilight recounts that fateful day that feels like it was eons ago. The food cooks away as Spike and Pinkie follow instructions put on the table behind them as they happily go about their work. Spike chops up some lettuce finely and Pinkie begins mixing it in with the leeks that now have a deep, vibrant green color. Looks like we're having stir fry tonight. She thinks, her lips smacking in anticipation.

They talk a little bit more, but nothing of any real consequence. Plates appear around the table which are promptly filled by Pinkie as they appear. Once the plates are all full, they dig in with gusto. The oil, vinegar, black pepper and everything blends into a crispy flavor overload on Twilight's tongue as she takes her first bite. She knows it was Pinkie cooking, but this is definitely a Never There recipe. They all talk animatedly around the table, Never There and potential plans are the subject for this supper. They settle on something a little more... restrained for his “appearance.” By the time they're done, stomachs full and full of good humor, it's partway into the normal supper time when they make their farewells. Light on her hooves, Twilight heads home with thoughts about tomorrow flying through her mind. She doesn't get to sleep for hours after sunset, like a filly who's going on a field trip the next day.

***To Be Continued...***

Author's Note

The dinner party will be next, so stick around for the next installment... Snacks and drinks not provided for enhancement of experience...

Eight Guests and an Empty Seat: II

Eight Guests and a Empty Seat (Part Two of Two)

Twilight groans groggily as the bright noon sunlight finally penetrates the bastion known as her pillow. Knowing that she should get the worst done and over with, she puts her fore hooves under the ends of her pillow and flings it across her bedroom, which gives her some childish amusement despite the needles the sunlight puts in her eyes. She didn't sleep well last night as excitement and adrenaline came in alternating waves at her mental scenarios about the dinner party today. Silent giggles and flailing legs did nothing to settle her down, so by the time she finally fell asleep she was absolutely exhausted. So with gritty eyes and her mane a terror to behold, Twilight rolls slowly out of bed with another groan.

“Spiiiiiike... Is there anything for me to eat?” Twilight calls down the stairs as she leaves her room, not caring about her state.

“Just some leftovers, but I can heat them up for you in a moment if you want.” He replies as he looks up from the book he's reading.

“That sounds fantastic.” Twilight says as she wobbles into the kitchen, sitting down at the table and closing her eyes. Spike enters a moment later and lights a fire in the stove before grabbing a small bowl of cold oatmeal and a bottle of milk.

“So,” Spike says with a smile splitting his face, “You couldn't get to sleep because you got too excited?”

Twilight simply nods with a mumble. Spike breaths a little more fire on the embers to ramp up the heat faster and pulls out a small pan for the oatmeal. He scrapes the frigid paste into the pan and adds a splash of milk before putting it on the stove. He starts stirring it with a wooden spoon until it begins to liquify with a steaming hiss as it gets hot. He pulls it off the stove and scrapes it into the same bowl, he puts it in front of Twilight along with the honey jar, the bottle of milk and some raisins.

“Twilight... Time to wake up and eat...” Spike says gently, shaking her with a claw on her shoulder. “Come on...”

“Mmmmbulaaa...” Twilight says incoherently. “Thaumaturgical polarity inversion in chocolate cupcakes for maximum ethretic combustion.”

“What?” Spike says uncomprehendingly. “You're talking nonsense again Twilight, it's time to wake up.”

His voice and gentle shaking finally rouses her enough that she nods with a mumble before she lazily floats some raisins into her bowl, some not even making it in as they make a feeble attempt at escape across the tabletop. The honey, being in a container, didn't make a mess. Until Twilight slowly closes her eyes and her magic drops it, leaving a small splash of honey on the table with the container resting on its side. Spike turns at the sudden noise and quickly picks it up before any more can spill. He shakes his head and pours a little milk on her oatmeal before taking everything away. He returns to shake Twilight a littler rougher this time, causing her to take her spoon and actually take a bite of nicely warm oatmeal. The sudden rush of sugar does wonders for the sleepy pony, causing her to open her eyes a bit and eat with more energy.

“Finally awake, Twilight?” Spike says with a little laugh.

“Mmmhm.” She replies as she puts another spoonful in her mouth.

“So, what are the plans again for tonight?” Spike asks after a little bit. “I just want to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

“Well...” Twilight begins but pauses for another bite of food. “Never There is going to drop his stew off on the front porch at seven thirty, where we'll take it inside and let him in. After he arrives, I'll move us to the coffee table, getting the other girls to Pinkie Promise to not leave until the dinner party is over. Then he'll put his letter of introduction in the middle of the coffee table. Your job is to go around the ground floor and secretly lock all the doors just in case somepony panics and I can't catch them in time. I know it might not be the best to catch them mid-panic, but I can calm them down in a moment or two. I think, anyways.”

“Got it.” He says with a smile and a laugh. “I wonder what AJ's gonna do when the note appears...”

They both think about it at the same time and laughter rings through the kitchen at the thought. They laugh and talk until Twilight finishes her oatmeal, deciding that they should drop by Rarity's soon to see how the preparations are going.

After knocking on the front door of Carousel Boutique fifteen minutes after Twilight's meal, Rarity opens the door with a smile and ushers them in excitedly. They look around to see a large table taking up a good amount of floor space with eight chairs set around it evenly. Modestly elegant floral arrangements sit in the center, adding a pleasant aroma to the air without being cloying. Rarity did an amazing job of setting everything up without making it feel like a Canterlot elite social.

“We're just dropping by to see how it's going along, but everything looks amazing Rarity.” Twilight says after looking around. “The floral arrangements are beautiful. Thanks again for hosting the party tonight, it really means a lot to me that you're so willing to do this.”

“Think nothing of it, dear.” Rarity says graciously. “I'm looking forward to meeting this mysterious stallion you've told me about. He seems like quite the pony.”

“There's definitely more to him than meets the eye.” Twilight says with a laugh, Spike joining in a second later. “He's even bringing some of his amazing stew for us to eat tonight.”

“He can cook too?” Rarity says placing a hoof to her chest. “The next thing you're going to tell me is that he's a genius too.”

“Well...” Twilight shoots a sharp glance over at Rarity when she gasps dramatically. “He's incredibly well read at the least.”

“Well.” Rarity says with a knowing smile. “He sounds like quite the pony. I have a few other things to attend to before tonight, so please forgive me for cutting this visit short.”

“Alright, we'll see you later tonight Rarity.” Twilight says as she and Spike make their way to the door.

“See you then, dears.” She says as they leave the Boutique. “Now, back to the business at hoof.”

“So, what should we do until tonight?” Spike asks as they walk aimlessly down the street after leaving Rarity to her business.

“I don't know... Maybe we can go to the lake and relax for a bit? It's a nice summer day after all.” She says with a smile. “But first I have a letter to write for the Princess about my new teacher, so lets go back to the library and we can head out from there.”

“That's a new one for you, Twilight.” Spike says with a laugh. “Normally it takes all I can do to even get you out of the library.”

“Well... since I'm about to start my lessons on metaphysics, I think I should take a little break. I know I'm gonna be incredibly busy learning about it from the ground up.” She says with a sigh. “Not to mention I won't be here as often for the first month or two, at least, because I won't force Ever Here to come to Ponyville for my lessons.”

“Can't you just teleport back and forth?” He replies.

“Not very easily. It takes a lot of energy for long distance teleportation. That's why I don't go very far when I do. Princess Celestia may be able to do it reliably, but I know I don't have enough energy to go back and forth everyday.” Twilight replies.

“Are you gonna take the train every day? Or are you going to stay up there for a few days at a time?” He asks.

“I was thinking about staying up there during the week and coming back on the weekend.” She says. “That way I won't be spending as many bits traveling and I can stay with Mom and Dad or in my rooms at the castle while I'm there.”

“Do you want me to look after the library while you're gone?” He asks, his voice a little tinged with worry.

“Only if you want to Spike.” She says with a reassuring smile. “If you do, you can sleep over with somepony we know at night. I can ask anypony you want me to if you want to do that. But I'm sure I can talk to Mayor Mare and see if she knows somepony who can look after the library while I'm away.”

“I can do it.” He says confidently, knowing that he not only has Twilight's confidence in his abilities, but he can also come with her if he wants to. “Maybe I can come with you on occasion too?”

“Of course, buddy.” She says with a chuckle. “I would miss you too much if I only saw you on the weekends.”

“Same here, Twilight.” He says while quickly giving her a tight hug. “Now lets go get that letter taken care of and get to the lake.”

With that, they make their way back to the library in short order and get everything taken care of. After sending the letter, Twilight packs a few towels and a book for reading while Spike makes a few snacks for the two of them. They leave soon after and make their way to the small lake just outside of town. Once there and surrounded by the shouts of kids and adults alike, Twilight spreads out a large towel and settles in while Spike makes a beeline straight for the waters edge. Almost as if he were a magnet, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo intercept him. They talk a little before they all run off to the large rock ledge looming over the surface of the lake and they all jump off as one with little splashes at their entrance. They all surface soon and splash each other with laughs all around as they swim around.

The quartet of friends terrorize the other lake goers with impromptu splash fights and a pit trap of all things in some scheme or other. Twilight and the poor victim finds their selves caught completely off guard, one incapacitated by laughter while the other dumbfounded at the bottom of a six foot pit. Spike is off to the side laughing on his back while the three fillies bounce around the lip of the pit. Twilight wipes the tears from her eyes before getting up to rescue the poor pony. Walking through the small group of very amused spectators, Twilight finds that it was actually two other little fillies, one pink and the other a dark gray. She brings her horn to life and lifts the sandy captives out of their prison.

“Now girls... What in the world were you three trying to do?” Twilight says with mirth silvering her voice.

“We were tryin' ta see if we could get our cutie marks in trap making.” Apple Bloom says with a smile.

“And we didn't get covered in tree sap this time!” Sweetie Belle chips in, receiving another round of laughter from her friends.

“It's not our fault they had their noses so high in the air they didn't see the trap.” Scootaloo says, smiling smugly at the angry blushes of the two other fillies.

“What's your problem blank flank?” The pink coated filly retorts. “We just had hooficures and so help me, if you ruined them I'll make you pay...”

“If you just had a hooficure, why would you come to the beach of all places?” Twilight says bluntly.

“Where else would we go to show it off?” She replies haughtily.

“There are a lot of other places. The sand would dull your hooves before the end of the day, so they would get ruined without you falling in a pit.” Twilight responds bluntly. At this, the pink filly pouts with a harrumph before stalking off, her friend quickly darting to trail behind her. Apple Bloom and her friends all laugh at the sight while Spike just shakes his head. Twilight uses her magic to pull enough loose sand from the area and refills the pit before turning the the group of still laughing fillies. “I don't want to see you girls dig another pit like this. I don't want to see somepony hurt because of you three.”

They look sufficiently chastened and nod silently before Twilight shoos them off with a wave of her hoof. They flank Spike and make off with him, on to their next adventure at the moment. The rest of the afternoon goes on like that for the most part. Twilight eventually gets enlisted by the terrorizing trio to magically sculpt sand forts while Spike and the girls craft disturbingly realistic miniature siege engines that would lob balls of wet sand over the intervening distance. Watching them, Twilight eventually turns it into a game where the winner was the first to breach the others wall which gets them all gun ho about it and eventually ends up with a pile of fillies rough housing. After sorting everything out they all go back into the lake and swim around for a bit, much to Twilight's vast enjoyment. Today's a good day and it's going to get even better. She thinks to herself warmly as they all go back to her towel to dry off and just relax which ends with her nodding off for a bit.

After some time, Twilight wakes up to find that her body has been claimed by three sleeping fillies and a dragon so she just smiles and goes beck to sleep. They all wake up at roughly the same time, about five thirty or so, and they relish in the lingering warmth of the sand through the blanket for a while before they get groggily to their hooves. After packing up, they all make their way back to town. Twilight finds out that they're going to have a slumber party in their clubhouse tonight due to the dinner party as they talk about their plans. She doesn't think they'll get much done since they played so much in the lake, but one can never be too sure when it comes to this band of fillies. They part ways in the town square, Twilight and Spike making their way to Sugar Cube Corner to pick up a couple loaves of bread for tonight as well as a few other odds and ends. So with a happy sigh and a big smile, Twilight and Spike head over to Rarity's an hour before her plans come to fruition.

***

Never There sits in his living room with an optimistic outlook about tonight. The stew was simmering since early yesterday afternoon and it didn't scorch overnight, luckily enough. It's rather hard to gauge how much wood to use when you don't have magic to help regulate the heat, so he took some extra time preparing the wood with some soil for that reason. He tested the soup every two or three hours, adding a little water or seasonings to enhance the overall flavor. This is going to be his best rendition yet and he felt overjoyed to be sharing it with his friends, both new and potential.

He spent a good amount of time last night after Twilight, Pinkie and Spike had left on his introductory letter. He thought that it should be exemplary in both content and styling, so he used the calligraphy pen set and a high quality shellac ink his Dad gave him a couple years back for his birthday. Writing slowly, purposefully and gracefully gives Never There a sense of clear focus not felt very often. It surprises him, when he finishes, the sense of accomplishment at the completion of the letter. He even takes a little extra time to illuminate the corners and top with a flowing ivy design. I will have to do that more often. He thinks as he remembers the elegant letter resting in his saddlebags.

Time behaves strangely for him as moments seem to stretch while entire hours slip by unnoticed. When seven o'clock finally rolls around, he takes the pot of stew off carefully so that it can cool off enough for him to put in the carrier and take care of a few other things before he leaves. He gathers a good amount of note sized parchment, his most used pen and a bottle of regular ink to put in the other pouch on his saddlebag. Once done, he goes to check on the temperature of the pot and places it in the padded carrier with the lid on and leaves around twenty minutes after seven.

The streets of Ponyville are filled with a surprising about of individuals this evening, but when he considers how nice it still is, it does make sense. He makes his way at a good pace, the distinctive roof of Carousel Boutique soon rises above the roofs showing him that he's almost there. Looking up at the town hall, he sees that he's right on time as he sets the carrier on the doorstep. He doesn't have to wait for long as Twilight opens the door with a vibrant smile.

“Come on in. They're expecting you soon.” She whispers as she levitates the pot of stew inside. He follows shortly after, Twilight giving him several seconds to walk through before closing the door. The interior of the Boutique is surprisingly open and airy with plenty of outside light, giving him the feeling of being in a cathedral with the warmth that they lack. He looks around to see four relatively unknown mares standing or sitting around the room, the gentle noise of quiet conversation and laughter creates a pleasant atmosphere. They all look around at Twilight as she walks over to a elegantly set up table with chairs enough for them all.

“He'll be with us in a moment, girls.” Twilight says as she places they pot on a cushioned pad. “For now, lets go over to the coffee table so I can go over a couple things.” They all move across the room to sit on a couple small couches. They look at Twilight curiously as she makes her way across the room.

“Now, as I told all of you, Never There is a lot more than he seems. He has become a very good friend in a short time and I want him to have the chance to not only meet you all, but for you to get to know him as well. There is only one condition I want you to promise me before you meet him. I want you to Pinkie Promise that you will not leave until the until you have had at least one good conversation with him to get to know him.”

“Well, that should hardly go without saying, darling.” Says the alabaster coated mare. “But why do you want us to go that far?”

“It's not just for me, it's for him too, Rarity.” Twilight replies. “It would mean so much if all of you would do this for me.”

“Well shucks, sugar cube.” The blond maned mare says. “If it really means that much to ya, Ah Pinkie Promise that Ah won't leave for until we're done eatin'. That good enough for ya?” Twilight's beaming smile and nod is answer enough, so the rest of them make similar promises while Twilight's smile turns ever more sly.

“Now that you've all made your promises, I think it's time for Never Theres introduction.” She says with smirk. They look at her in growing confusion as she simply stands there, giving him time to retrieve the letter from his bag. He carefully puts it in the center of the coffee table and Twilight points at it with her hoof. The girls look at where she's pointing and their confusion changes to many things. Shock and disbelief most prevalent though.

“Twilight?” Rarity says cautiously. “What is this?”

“Meep!” The yellow coated mare squeaks timidly as she tries to sink into the back of the couch.

“It's a letter of introduction.” Twilight replies from behind a hoof, most likely hiding a smile.

“Where did it come from?” She asks, her voice quavering slightly.

“From the hoof of Never There.” She relies. “Where else would it come from?”

“But... Nopony else is here. Right?” The blond mare says looking around.

“He has been here since I closed the door.” She responds smoothly. “How else do you think his stew got here? Why don't you read the letter first before you ask any more questions.”

Rarity nods slowly before a light blue aura grasps the letter as she floats it over to read.

Good evening, friends of Twilight Sparkle, Pinkie Pie and Spike,

As you may know, my name is Never There. I am a earth pony with very peculiar circumstances surrounding my special talent. I have become acquainted with Twilight and Spike due to an overdue book of all things. After our admittedly rough start, they returned later that night with Pinkie Pie and we had a lovely dinner together. I have found that I look forward to their company and their friendship brightens any day when they are with me.

At Twilight's prompting, I am here tonight to meet the friends she has told me about. You ponies, who I hope to call my friend as well. I hope that you can see through what isn't there, to see what is here.

It is my great pleasure to meet you,

Never There

She lowers the letter to look at Twilight with a shaky smile and unshed tears in her eyes before she passes the letter to the next pony. They all read it before too long. By the time everypony reads it, some smile, some look embarrassed and some just simply nod. He looks at Twilight to see her smiling warmly at her friends reactions, proud of how they handle his unique introduction and that they are more than willing to become his friend.

“Now I think I get what you meant by 'you won't even see him coming.'” The rainbow maned mare says with a laugh. “So, Never There, are you just invisible and not able to talk, or what?”

“Give him a moment to respond, Dash. He has to write.” Twilight says to her friend.

It's more than simple invisibility. Even invisible ponies can talk. To be honest, neither I nor the countless ponies who have studied my mystery know. I can talk, but nopony hears me, so I haven't actually spoken in years. Though I laughed hard enough when Twilight told me what she had planned. He writes. He places it on the coffee table in front of her which causes her to jolt a little in her seat when she notices it.

“Huh. I don't know about all of that, but at least you've got a good sense of humor.” She says with a little laugh. “I didn't think you had something like this in ya, Twilight.”

“I just thought I'd prank you girls a little, but I'm glad it all turned out alright. I'm a little disappointed you didn't jump out of your seat, Rainbow Dash.” She replies with a chuckle.

“Hey! That would be uncool.” She replies smoothly. “Anyways, a note appearing from nowhere is tame compared to having Pinkie Pie wake you up in your bed with a trumpet when you sleep in the clouds.”

“Um...” The pink maned pegasus chimes in softly. “I think it turned out okay... although I was a little scared at first.”

“I'm sorry Fluttershy, but I think a little fright in the beginning is better than running screaming.” Twilight replies. “That's what happened to me and Spike when we first met Never There. How about you, Applejack?” Her admission garnering a couple chuckles.

“Well, it's definitely not what Ah was expectin', but that letter sure speaks well enough.” She replies.

“Yes, that letter was very beautifully written.” Rarity says. “It really lets me know just how quickly and closely you three have gotten despite his unique circumstances.”

“Didn't I say he has a way with words?” Twilight says with a grin, getting a laugh out of Rarity.

“That you did.” She replies. “Now I know why Spike was having such a rough time when we had lunch the other day.”

“Speakin' of rough, that stew smells mighty fine an' ma stomach's growlin' like Winona worryin' a bone.” Applejack says.

“Same here, AJ.” Dash says in agreement. “Isn't this supposed to be a dinner party?”

“Then let us go eat.” Rarity says with a smile. “Though I must say, the stew you made smells simply divine, dear.”

It's a recipe I got from my Mother. I can't do it the justice it deserves, but I do try my best. He writes quickly before they begin to move.

“She must be quite the cook then.” She replies. “But, we should continue this at the table before Applejack starts gnawing at the upholstery.”

“Hey!” Applejack says suddenly. “It was only that one time and Ah spilled some food on it anyways.” Everypony gets a good laugh out of that as they imagine Applejack chewing on the arm of the couch. They get up after that and make their way to the table, Rarity sitting on one end with Never There beside her and Twilight beside him while Spike brings up the end. Fluttershy sits across from Rarity with Pinkie beside her followed by Applejack and Dash bringing up the other end.

“Please, allow me to serve.” Rarity says, bringing her horn to life. A swirl of bowls, plates and ladles move about the room in perfect order as they get loaded up with all kinds of food. Slices of bread, granola bars with sunflower seeds and slices of apple pie load the plates with promise of a full and very content stomach. They settle in with words of thanks to him for the stew, quickly followed by exclamations about how amazing it is. They watch curiously from time to time as his eating utensils flicker in and out of existence while food disappears slowly. Aside from some casual conversation, it is fairly silent as everypony eats at least two bowls of his stew, three and four in the case of Dash and Applejack.

“Hoo boy!” Applejack says after polishing off her fourth bowl of stew. “That stew's powerful good Never There. It's a wonder the Princesses haven't got you in their kitchens.”

I trust you'll keep my secret. He writes,Twilight passing the note over to Applejack. She reads the note and gets a good laugh out of it.

“No worries, There.” She replies. “You'll be our secret as long as you keep us supplied with this stew.”

Blackmailing a new acquaintance? Never let a Ponyville mare know you can cook. He writes, getting even more laughter.

“So, Never There, what exactly is your special talent?” Rarity says once the laughter dies down. “I don't think I've ever heard of an invisible chef.”

In all honesty, it's to never be there because I love the here. You could say it started when I was a small colt. My Mom and Dad are both involved in metaphysics, so I had some rather... unorthodox lessons at home. It was the summer just after I graduated from primary school when it happened. We had planned on going to the beach for a month. The morning we were to leave, I was in the living room thinking about there and here. I felt such a love for my home and parents, I felt that as long as I was here I could never go there and be happy. I didn't know when it happened exactly, or even how, but lets just say that we never made it that year but did make it the next. Sorry for the long delay, but I felt that I should explain it as much as possible. He writes.

“Well, that's certainly an origin story.” Rarity says after reading it. “Do you mind if I pass this around, dear?”

Not at all. He replies.

“I must say that it sounds quite romantic.” Rarity continues. “To love the here so much that you became shrouded in such a mystery.”

“I'm hoping to learn about metaphysics soon.” Twilight chimes in. “Ever since I met Never There I've seen so much that I just don't understand.”

“So what do you do for a living, Never?” Dash asks suddenly curious. “Do you read Daring Do?”

I don't actually have a job. My parents are very well to do professors at Canterlot University and they set up a week based annuity. Basically I get a certain amount of bits every week to live on. On that note, I think Applejack has had my custom once in a while though we've never met before. Also, I do read Daring Do, but I also read a few other book series I think you would be interested in borrowing from my personal collection if you're a fan of that series. He responds.

“That's pretty cool.” Dash says as she passes the note. "I'll have to take you up on that offer sometime."

“So yer the reason behind the mystery bits?” Applejack says after she reads the note, putting a hoof on the table. “Ah thought somepony was playin' a prank on me so I gave the bits to the Mayor in case somepony came by lookin' for 'em. Nopony did, so the Mayor gave 'em back ta me at the end o' the week.”

I'm sorry about that, Applejack. I don't think you would have believed a note because nopony else did, so I just did what I always do. My parents taught me that if I needed to buy something to get what I needed and pay the posted price as quickly as possible so nopony thought they were robbed. I live comfortably enough that I would never think about stealing from somepony. He responds quickly.

“No, no, it's alright Never. Though Ah think you might've been right about me mot believin' a note at the time.” She says blushing slightly after she reads it. “Twilight was certainly right when she said ya were 'so honest you were completely transparent.' Ah just didn't know she meant it literally.” They all laugh at that and begin to trade some of the comments Twilight had told them back and forth to their great amusement.

“I heard you have a goldfish?” A soft voice says from across the table.

Yes I do. I named him Blubs because that's pretty much all he does. I used to have a puppy, but it lives with the neighbors son now. Thinking back on it, I don't think it was the best choice for a pony such as myself. He writes with a half smile.

“Oh my.” Fluttershy says looking a little sad. “If you might ever be interested in having another pet, I think I might be able to help you out.”

It's alright, Fluttershy. I'm perfectly fine with Blubs right now. Plus I don't think it would be fair to you or the pet you would help me get since I wouldn't be able to play with it or give it the attention it would deserve. He replies.

“If you're okay with it...” She says a little hesitation. “But if you ever change your mind, just let me know.”

I am. Thank you for the offer though. It really means a lot to me. He writes, Fluttershy giving a bright smile in response.

“So how about we have some of Pinkie Pies maple glazed cinnamon rolls to finish this dinner with?” Dash says looking back to the kitchen.

“Oh! I'll go get them!” Pinkie Pie says as she hops off her chair, trotting into the kitchen.

“She was keeping them in the oven to keep them warm.” Twilight explains.

They come warm tonight? I don't think I can handle that level of deliciousness. He writes to their amusement.

“Yep!” Pinkie says after reading the note. “You should try them fresh out of the oven.”

I can't even comprehend the thought. They were absolutely amazing the other night and I know they're going to be even better tonight. I didn't know they could ever get any better than that and now you're telling me they can be even better than warmed up? He writes jokingly, trying to deal with the saliva welling up in his mouth.

“Oh yeah. Drop by Sugar Cube Corner tomorrow at lunch and I'll whip some up for you.” She replies. “I'll even put fresh butter on top.”

Stop torturing me! But I seriously hope you're not joking, Pinkie. He writes frantically, wishing it were already tomorrow.

“Of course not, silly. I never joke when it's about something serious.” She says ignoring the blunt stares directed at her. “Just drop a note on the counter and I'll make them fresh.”

“I'll drop by too to give you some company while you wait, if you want.” Twilight adds.

“Why don't we all meet there at lunch?” Dash suggests. “I don't think I could keep away if I knew Pinkie was planning on making some fresh.”

They all agree happily, though Never notices Twilight is the slightest bit reserved in her happiness at the suggestion. After that, the rolls get demolished in record time and Never There wallows in the lingering flavors that wash over his tongue. They retire to the couches around the coffee table, Never There finding himself between Fluttershy and Applejack. They talk about all manner of things as the evening wears on, from his hobbies and favorite foalhood stories to tentative plans to have guests over to his house for simple visits while they answer any questions he has about them. As it gets late, he lets them know that they can split the remaining stew amongst their selves to take home as a modest gift from him to his new friends. They graciously accept his offer and they begin to make their farewells until it's only Rarity, Twilight, Spike and him. He makes his farewells to them before taking his pot, now clean due to Rarity's insistence to clean it, and heads home.

On the way home, he thinks about how well everything went. How each of them, after they got over his lack of presence, opened up and accepted him. He has friends now. It's such a strange feeling for him since he didn't have any since he was a foal. It is strange, but he feels like he could get used to it quickly enough. He gets home and puts the pan away before taking care of his nightly ablutions. As he settles in for the night under his covers, he feels that there was something just slightly off while they were sitting around the coffee table. His sleepy mind finally realizes that it was Twilight. She was looking at me when she talked to me while the others looked around me. Almost like she knew exactly where I was. With that last thought, he gives in to the pull of sleep.

Author's Note

Sorry about the late update. It took a little longer planning out some parts than I thought it would. I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter :3 My next update will be for Tricks, Cloaks and Wands. So there may not be another update until early next week, so I apologize for the wait.

Climbing the Walls

I wonder what Friday has in store for us. Twilight thinks, pondering who Ever Here and Pure Interval will have attending. If their coworkers are as interesting and unique as they are, Twilight is sure that it will be a night to remember. However that's a few days away and she's supposed to meet Never There at Sugar Cube Corner in a few minutes. Calling out to Spike, who is wandering around the library at the moment, she lets him know that it's time they should be leaving to meet with their friends.

“Pinkies cinnamon rolls two days in a row... How luck can a dragon get?” He asks rhetorically.

“You're going to have to cut back on desserts for a couple days unless you want to get even pudgier than you are now.” Twilight says with a giggle.

“Hey! I'm not pudgy... I like to think of it as tuxedo filler.” He says with all the bravado of Spike. Twilight just laughs and continues out the door with Spike right on her heels.

“So, do you want to go with me to the dinner party I told you about?” She says as they make their way down the road.

“Sure. From what you've said, they sound like really great ponies and his Moms food is even better than his. That sounds like a good enough reason to me.” Spike says with a chuckle.

“Well just be sure to be on your best behavior. You haven't met them yet so don't forget that.” She says admonishing him gently.

“I know.” He says casually. “How about we hurry up a little, I haven't had anything for lunch yet and I'm starving.”

“Alright.” Twilight says chuckling, increasing her pace a bit. “I could use a fresh roll myself.”

They move through the busy streets of Ponyville at a fairly good rate, managing to get there just ahead of their friends. Looking around, they see that Pinkie is nowhere to be seen but the smells and noises from the kitchen lets them know that Never There must be here.

“Hello, Never There. How are you doing today?” She says as she makes her way to the corner table by the window and takes a seat, Spike sitting beside her. “Looking forward to Friday night?”

“Friday night? What's going on?” Pinkie says leaning back out of the kitchen, a bowl of batter being mixed furiously in her forelegs.

“Oh, it's a small dinner party Never Theres parents are hosting with some of their coworkers. I was going to to ask you and the other girls if they want to come along as well.” She says in reply.

“Sounds like it'll be a super time!” Pinkie says with her usual anticipation for any form of mass social interaction. “You can count me in!”

Out of the corner of her eye, she notices a piece of paper placed on the table beside her.

I'm doing quite well today and I always look forward to visiting my parents. He writes.

“That's good to hear and I know what you mean, they're fantastic ponies.” Twilight says beaming. “Do you think you may want to come along with the group? I remember how you said it's a bit of a hassle for you to get to Canterlot, so I think it might be better this way.” She responds.

That sounds fantastic, Twilight. I look forward to it. He replies.

“So, why don't you sit across from me and I'll bring some chairs around so everypony can sit comfortably. You can use your inkwell to show everypony where you're sitting too.” She says, pleased with her idea.

A splendid idea. You don't know how many times I've been sat on in my travels. He writes with a chuckle, placing his inkwell in front of him. Twilight laughs a little at his words, not knowing if he's serious or not. Before she can ask, Rainbow Dash walks in with a jingle from the door.

“Heya Twi. How's it going?” She says as she makes her way over.

“Pretty good.” She replies with a smile. “I've just been chatting a little with Never There while Pinkie bakes the rolls.”

“Sounds like fun.” She says grinning back. “So where's that guy who's outta sight?”

“Across the table from me.” She says with a smirk. “He's still so awesome you can't even touch him though.”

“Yeah, yeah... Very funny.” Dash says with a smirk. “I still don't know what you don't see in him.”

Twilight almost responds, a bright blush on her cheeks, but is cut short again as Fluttershy and Applejack enter together.

“Howdy girls.” Applejack says after the bell subsides its announcement. “Never There here yet?”

“Yep.” Dash responds as she and Twilight begin moving two more tables together to make a loose triangle. “He's across from Twi.”

“Ah was wonderin' what that inkwell was doin' all by its lonesome.” She replies.

“So... um... do you think it would be alright if I go get us something to drink?” Fluttershy asks in her usual fashion.

“That's right kindly of ya, Fluttershy.” Applejack says with a smile. “Ah'll pay fer us all since yer goin' to all the trouble.”

“You don't have to do that Applejack...” Twilight begins.

“It the least Ah can do since Never There treated us all to such a good meal last night.” She replies with a smile.

It was my pleasure, Applejack. But like Twilight said, you don't have to pay for my drink. He writes.

“Well, it's mah pleasure to treat mah friends once in a while.” Applejack says with a firm nod, ending their protests. She passes a small bag of bits to Fluttershy who smiles in thanks and leaves quickly.

“So where's Rarity?” Dash says curiously. “She's normally right on time when we get together.”

“Maybe she's finishing some project she put off since she was hosting our dinner last night?” Twilight ventures.

“Or she's jus' tryin' ta' be 'fashionably late.'” Applejack says with a chuckle which cuts off comically short at sound of the bell jingling as the mare in question walks in.

“Oh my, it appears as though I'm not the last to arrive after all.” She says with a smile.

“You are, actually.” Dash says casually. “Fluttershy's out getting us something to drink right now.”

“Oh...” Rarity replies, slightly put out. “So how much longer do you think until Pinkie's done with those heavenly rolls of hers?”

It shouldn't be too much longer. She has been working on them for about fifteen minutes now and she said she had the dough made up last night. Never replies.

“Wonderful.” Rarity says after glancing at the note. “I was putting in a little extra time this morning to catch up on a custom order and I think I made good progress.”

“Sorry about you falling behind on your commission, Rarity.” Twilight says slightly guilty at her friend putting them before herself. “If you'd like, I can help out if you need it.”

“Think nothing of it Twilight.” Rarity says in a slightly haughty manner. “It is truly nothing for me to miss a day on a commission and my being host for that dinner party is worth far more than any amount of bits.”

“Even I have to say,” Rainbow Dash says prodding Rarity's shoulder gently, “That's pretty cool. For you anyways, Rarity.”

“I do have my moments, don't I?” She says with an upper class air.

“Aaaand... It's over.” Dash says, getting a laugh out of both Twilight and Applejack. A moment later, Fluttershy returns with a medium sized bottle of milk.

“What did I miss?” She asks softly as their humor winds down.

“Nothin' much.” Applejack says. “Jus' Rarity bein' Rarity with Dash in the same room is all.”

“Oh.” She replies simply, a timid smile on her face.

“They're almost done everyone.” Pinkie calls from the kitchen.

So do you and your friends always tease one another like this? Never asks, sliding his note over to Twilight.

“Oh, yes.” She replies easily. “It happens so much anymore that we don't even really think about it anymore.”

All of you must get along quite well in that case. He responds.

“You wouldn't believe some of the things we've been through, but at the end of the day, teasing one another is just a part of our friendship.” Twilight says with a smile.

“That's right.” Dash says cheerfully looking over to empty space across from Twilight. “We wouldn't trade our adorkable egg-head for anypony else.”

“Adorkable?” Twilight asks genuinely confused, though a silly grin spreads across her face matching Dash's. “Well that's a new one.”

“Speaking of new, the rolls are done!” Pinkie shouts from the kitchen. “Hope everypony's ready for these super duper double-delicious rolls!”

“Oh, one last thing before I forget.” Twilight says as Pinkie carries a steaming pile of heavenly rolls in, placing it on her table. “I was invited to a dinner party by Never Theres parents this Friday night at seven thirty and his Mom said that I can invite my friends along as well, so if you girls would like to come long, that shouldn't be a problem.”

“Another dinner party so soon?” Rarity says with an eager gleam on her face. “If I remember correctly, didn't Never There say his parents live in Canterlot?”

“Indeed they do.” Twilight responds.

“Then why ever would I say no?” Rarity says gleefully.

“Ah'm sure Ah can manage it if Big Mac is willin' to take on a couple extra chores this week.” Applejack says confidently.

“If I won't be a bother...” Fluttershy says demurely.

“Why not? I'm sure it'll be awesome.” Dash answers with a casual crossing of her forelegs.

If my Mom told Twilight to invite her friends, then she's going to be pulling out all the stops with the meal. Also, Fluttershy? You wouldn't be a bother in the least. I know my parents would be delighted to have you join us for a dinner party. Never There writes, trying to assure one of his new friends.

“My... such a considerate gentlecolt.” Rarity says smiling about the last part.

“Okay, I don't know about you girls, but I'm about ready to start gnawing on this table if I don't get at these rolls.” Rainbow Dash says dropping her chin onto the table.

“Let me just go grab some cups for the milk and we can get started in a jiffy!” Pinkie says diving over the counter and into a tumbling roll before darting into the kitchen.

“I'm glad you all can make it.” Twilight says with a big smile. “His parents are both wonderful ponies and I'm sure the other guests will make for interesting conversation.”

“I just hope they don't drive me up the wall with some mumbo-jumbo I don't understand.” Dash says with her usual slight grumpiness at having food in front of her and not being able to eat it quite yet.

“I don't think you'll have to worry about it too much.” Twilight assures her. “They're just like anypony else. They just see the world a little differently.”

Dash makes a noncommittal noise but perks up as Pinkie puts some cups and plates on the table. The conversation generally revolves around the subject of Friday, with everyone deciding that meeting at the train station at six would work out for the best. Dash asks Never if she could drop by later today to borrow one of his series to which he gives the go ahead. For the most part, Twilight would be happy about going to Canterlot and having dinner with one of her soon to be instructors, but this time she has a feeling of mild dread looming over her. Not because her friends are coming along. Just for some unknown reason. She just shrugs it off for the time being and takes a bite of hot cinnamon roll, letting it wash her concerns away.

For Twilight, the week seems to go by relatively calmly. No disasters, dilemmas, or otherwise disquieting events to cause any disruptions. She receives a letter from Princess Celestia the day after they had their get together, not only accepting her choice in mentor, but also letting her know she had the very same pony in mind for her. Though aside from that, nothing very exciting happens.

Then Friday dawns and Twilight is filled with the kind of golden excitement that nothing could tarnish. She goes about her usual routine before she decides to settle down on her plush couch to read, just after lunch. The time flies by for her as she gets immersed in her book, only distancing herself from it when a patron comes in or asks for help in searching for a book. It was a bit a a surprise for Twilight when a slip of paper suddenly slides down the page she's currently reading. After a quick gasp of shock, she catches it in her magic to read it.

We... have a problem. It says.

“Oh, hello Never There.” She says after her heart stops trying to migrate up her throat. “What do you mean we have a problem?”

Mobius Fractal is going to be attending the dinner party tonight. He writes, setting the paper on the arm of the couch this time.

“Mobius Fractal? Who's that?” She replies.

He's the head of the department where my parents work. He's not only a very powerful unicorn, but he's a genius when it comes to metaphysics. It might be best to have you and the others come some other time. His next note says.

“It's fine, really.” Twilight says.

No, it's not, Twilight. He replies fervently. You have no idea what he can do without even trying.

“I'm sure your parents can safeguard us if he does anything strange.” Twilight says confidently. “Plus I'll be there as well.”

I guess you have a point... He writes, still unsure if he should let his new friends go through with this encounter.

“Anyways, we've all been really looking forward to this all week. You'd have better luck trying to pry Rainbow Dash from a new Daring Do book.” Twilight says chuckling.

I have noticed that when you or your friends want something, you tend to pursue it until you get it. He writes with a smile.

“What can I say?” Twilight says smiling. “We're all very driven mares and know what we want.”

I think I caught a glimpse of that drive when you went to visit my parents to try to understand me better. It's not often I meet ponies who not only want to understand my mystery but become my friend as well. I'm sure you and the others will get a chance to meet him on Friday. He writes with a smile.

“In that case, a friend of yours is a friend of mine.” Twilight says with a smile. “I look forward to meeting your other friend as well.”

I have a feeling that you may know him already. He writes laughing a little.

“Oh?” She says curiously.

I'm sure you'll know as soon as you see him. He replies with a smirk.

“Well then.” Twilight says with a sly smile. “I guess I'm going to put a little extra into getting ready for tonight. I think I'll probably close up the library now to get around to it since it's about two right now. Sorry for cutting your visit short, but I'll meet you at the train station at six?”

I'll see you there. He replies, leaving the library ahead of Twilight.

“Spike?” She calls out to the library in general. “Lets go to the spa so we can look our best for tonight.” Spike trudges down the stairs, rubbing at his eyes slightly.

“Alright.” He says a little groggy. “Though I don't know why we have to. It's not like we're having dinner with the Princess or anything like that.”

“Well I want to make a better impression to his Mom.” Twilight says as though it's obvious. “Show her that I'm not some frumpy scholar who only excels in studies, neglecting even their bodies. I've met those kind of ponies before and almost became one. That's not the kind of pony I want to be.” She finishes with a shudder.

“I guess.” He replies dispassionately.

“I'm sure Rarity will be there~” Twilight says teasingly, knowing that will get him moving if nothing else will.

“Then what are we waiting for?” Spike says visibly perking up, all traces of his midday nap evaporating. “Lets get moving.” With a laugh at her young companion, Twilight flips the open sign to closed as they leave for the spa.

After arriving at the spa, Twilight and Spike make their way to the large room filled with all manner of relaxation and beautification stations. As Twilight suspected, Rarity was there along with Fluttershy. Applejack was there as well, which was a bit of a surprise. Her only explanation to her presence was that she felt that she should get her mane, tail and coat washed thoroughly as well as getting the harsh burs on her hooves removed so she wouldn't ruin their floor if it's polished. As time progresses, their remaining two friends join them for company though they don't use any of the services. Rainbow Dash isn't much company though as she sits down and promptly looses herself in a book, presumably one she borrowed from Never There. It's a very nice change of pace for Twilight all-in-all, taking her time to relax instead of worrying overly much. Though she does take a moment to talk to everypony and tell them the warning that she was given, to which they reply just as she thought they would. With assurances that they will handle any oddness with their usual flair and that they would rely on Twilight or their hosts to deal with any magical problems.

They take their time in the spa, taking the time to simply unwind and generally catch up with each other about their busy week. However, the time comes for them to eventually make their departure from the spa when five thirty rolls around. With little else to do, they make their way to the train station so that they can get their tickets purchased and wait for the last member of their group to arrive. They don't have long to wait as a scrap of paper flutters to the ground in front of Spike who picks it up and passes it to Twilight with a snicker after reading it.

Good afternoon, everyone. It seems as though I will be in the company of a group of radiant mares this evening and I can't even enjoy the jealous looks of other stallions at my good fortune. The note says. As Twilight reads the note out loud with a smile, mirth silvering her words, as she and her friends all find a blush rising on their faces.

“Dear Never, would you rather enjoy their jealousy over our wonderful company?” Rarity says with a flutter of her eyelashes.

I think that the company is unquestionably the best part of this evening. I am a lucky stallion to have such good, and might I add, lovely friends. He replies.

“Such a flatterer, but a charming one at that.” Rarity says with a smile. “It truly was a stroke of luck that our dear Twilight had the chance to meet you and to introduce you to us as well instead of keeping you all to herself.”

“Rarity!” Twilight replies, an embarrassed flush covering her entire face.

“It's just a joke, darling.” Rarity says with a laugh. Her friends joining in as well, though they all comfort her with either hugs or assurances that they think she would do nothing of the sort. Soon after they finish apologizing, Twilight even chuckling a little at the absurdity of the jibe, they hear the distinctive whistle of the train. They look up to see the distinctive smoke trail rising in the distance. “Well, in any case it looks as though our ride is here and in no time we'll be in Canterlot. I simply must give your mother my most sincere thanks for allowing Twilight to invite us all.”

My mother will certainly be happy to have you all attend. It's not often they are able to get new ponies to attend her dinners due to the strange nature of her field. He writes just before the train crests the final hill.

“It's not a problem at all, right girls?” Rarity says, her friends smiling and nodding in agreement. “Now, we should hold off on any more conversation until we've settled in in the train. Wouldn't want to loose your words due to an errant breeze, now would we?” Not that he could reply in any case. Soon enough, the train comes to a stop and they file on shortly after the current occupants leave. The conductor gives Twilight a strange look as she hands him three tickets instead of the obvious two for her and Spike. She just smiles and nods, so the conductor takes the three with a shrug. Once they find an empty car, they settle in for the trip to Canterlot.

After roughly an hour and fifteen minutes, they find their selves standing in front of Never Theres foalhood home. Taking the lead, Twilight walks up to the front door and gives it a couple solid taps. Listening intently, she hears the muted noise of conversation from inside. She doesn't wait long as a couple moments later the door opens to reveal the smiling face of Ever Here.

“Twilight!” She says happily, bringing her into a brief hug. “I see you took my open invitation and brought your friends as well.”

“Yes, I did.” Twilight responds, smiling in kind. “Also, might I add that they have all become acquainted with Never There and have been looking forward to coming here since I invited them. Thank you again for that, Ever Here.”

“Wonderful.” Ever says before beckoning with her foreleg. “Please, come in. It wouldn't be right to have you all introduce yourselves on our doorstep.” They all thank her as she holds the door open and walk through. After closing the door a couple moments after they all walk through, she turns to the small group. “If you would kindly go down the hall and into the first door on the left, that would be our living room, you can make your introductions to my husband at the same time. We're having an informal arrangement for tonight so that everypony can mingle or sit as they please.” Once they follow her directions, they are greeted by an older stallion roughly the same age as Ever Here.

“Twilight, it's good to see you again.” He says smiling at her before he looks at her friends in turn. “So these are the friends you brought? It's a pleasure to meet all of you, I am Pure Interval, though I would prefer if you call me Val.”

Once Ever walks over to his side, Twilight's friends make their introductions along with compliments about the house and their sincere thanks for allowing them to attend. Once officially welcomed into the dinner party, they are directed to the moderately laden table in the middle of the room and encouraged to simply mingle with anypony in general. As her friends move off, Twilight and Spike linger with Ever and Val so that they would get better introduced as she told them about him the last time she was here. However once they talked with him for a short time, telling him that they even prepared a small bowl of gems for him, Spike makes his way off to find it and confiscates a comfortable chair to sit in.

“So, Never told me that the department head of your field would be attending tonight?” Twilight asks after a short pause. “He said that it might pose a big problem.”

“Oh, you mean Mobius Fractal.” Ever says with a small roll of her eyes. “He's normally not too bad, though if his concentration slips... it can cause some interesting situations to arise.”

“Oh...” Twilight says, not entirely sure if she wants to know what counts as 'interesting' in her book. “So were my parents able to accept your invitation?”

“Sadly, no.” Val says. “It seems as though some high ranking noble pulled a fast one on Night Light and they couldn't attend tonight. Something about his departments budget and an appearance at his soiree.”

“Ugh...” Twilight replies a little annoyed. “I was hoping they could make it tonight. I'm sure they would like to get to know Never There better.”

“There's always the next time.” Ever replies cheerfully. “No need to fret over it.”

“Alright.” She concedes. “So, where do you think Never There has gotten off to?”

“Oh, he's probably around here somewhere.” Ever replies chuckling.

I'm right here. Says a note that flutters down in front of his Mom.

“Oh, there you are dear.” Ever says happily. “I didn't see you come in.”

“Oh my...” Twilight says both aghast at how bad the joke is and that she found it monumentally funny. “You're horrible.”

“What?” Val says with a chuckle. “After moving to Ponyville, we only get the occasional letter from him and when he's home, we don't see hide nor hair of him.”

At this, Twilight looses it. Her laughter drawing the attention of a few guests. She catches her breath soon enough though and tells them about her own attempts at word play involving her friends. At this, Never gets involved as well, telling his parents about some of the highlights as well as the culinary genius of Pinkie Pie. At his high praise, Ever decides to hunt down said pony and potentially accost her for the recipe.

“Since I first met her, she has always had a passion for cooking.” Val says as he watches his wife ply through the light gathering. “She once told me that she does it because through cooking, she can bring a little bit of there to here.”

“It sounds uniquely her.” Twilight says as she watches Ever strike up a conversation with Pinkie. “It's quite romantic in its own way.”

“To be honest, when we started to spend more time together, she would cook unique dishes from all of Equestria and some more exotic ones from Saddle Arabia.” He says with a chuckle. “On our first picnic, she prepared a traditional Saddle Arabian dish. It ended with my head in a nearby fountain trying to cool my mouth off.”

If you want your taste buds to remain intact, I would recommend easing your way into some of her transitional dishes. Never writes, shuddering as he remembers asking his Mom to skip a few intermediary courses.

“I think I'll take that advice to heart then.” Twilight says mirthfully at imagining Val rushing off in a mad dash. “If it's alright with you, I think I may be ready to sample some more of her exquisite cooking. Would either of you care to give me some recommendations?"

“I think I'll leave that in my sons capable hooves.” Val says looking off at something before looking back at Twilight. “I'm glad you could make it tonight.”

“I'm glad I could make it as well.” Twilight replies happily. With that, Val moves off to chat with another guest while Twilight turns to look where she thinks Never should be. “So, what do you recommend? Also who's this mystery friend of yours?"

Sadly, I don't know if he'll make it tonight... He may have something going on with his father if I remember correctly. Though I would recommend the zesty cheese spread with the butter crackers. He replies, thinking that he's shrewd enough to avoid any suspicion from her. Twilight doesn't think anything about it, aside from a mild sense of disappointment as she is fine with the company she's in right now.

The dinner party progresses at a good pace as food, conversation and laughter go around in equal measure. As nine o'clock rolls around, Twilight feels that something is strangely off. She can't place her hoof on it though, so she decides to ignore it for the time being. She looks around for a bit before she notices Val and Ever talking passionately to a third. The much younger stallion has a royal purple mane and a jet black coat. As she gets closer, she notices his cutie mark appears to be a pin striped figure eight repeated over and over, each slightly offset. This repetition creates an optical illusion to her that his mark seems to be both one and many at the same time.

“Sorry for intruding, but is there something wrong?” Twilight asks with no small amount of trepidation.

“Oh, Twilight dear.” Ever says, throwing a warning look to their companion. “Nothing at all. Though it is slightly bothersome. I would like you to take your friends into the kitchen for the time being though if you could.”

“Are you sure that's all you need right now?” She says to make sure. At a nod, Twilight turns to gather her friends. As she makes her way through the room, she notices something odd in the reflection of a drink. The ceiling is no longer there. Instead, it's as though it had been replaced by a mirror. A mirror that doesn't reflect the ponies gathered in the room. With a shiver at the inevitability, she looks up... and finds herself looking up at the same time. What???

“Oh for the love of Celestia! Finally another guest has arrived at the other half of the party!” A strange voice says jovially. “Welcome to the other half of my dear friends dinner party! It's not often that one has the chance to be in two places at one time, so you may as well enjoy twice the party!” He says with pure happiness in his voice.

“What's going on?” She responds dumbly. The strangeness that is now surrounding Twilight takes the form of herself, and her reflection looking at one another. One looks up at a warm room filled with lively guests and conversation while the other looks at a room mostly devoid of ponies. Trying to look up and around at the same time, Twilight spots three other ponies talking. This is wholly disturbing as the vision of two Twilight's makes their presence known to her eyes. Two similar minds with similar thoughts takes up residence in her head. All of her senses are shared between the one below and the one above.

“Oh, it's just a little something I thought up to double the enjoyment of the party!” He says making his way over. The emptier reflection shows him weaving back and forth, as though navigating between other ponies while the other shows him doing just that. “I'm Mobius Fractal, it's a pleasure to meet you!”

“Uh huh.” She replies lamely, still looking up. “Can you tell me what's going on? I don't understand...”

“Oh, I just induced a reflected quantum entanglement harmonization involving a localized location. It's a little tricky, especially as it requires a pony to acknowledge the reflection to have its full effect, so it's somewhat related to the observers principal of reality.” He explains happily.

“Mobius?” Ever says gently as she closes the distance, as though trying to sooth a harmless madpony who's half a step from plunging a carriage of school foals into a large vat of clotted cream. Much to the enjoyment of the foals and the loathing of the messy cleanup by their respective parents. “Could you please start dispelling this? I don't think our guests would enjoy this very much.”

“Oh posh.” He replies with a wave of his hoof. “You never know until you know.”

“But I do know that Twilight's friends wouldn't enjoy it. You're about to drive us up the wall as it is...” Ever says reasonably, to Twilight anyways, though her look of shock at what she just said reveals otherwise. “No, no no. Please don't Mobius.” She pleads.

“It has been a while since we've had a nice wall party.” Mobius says with a hoof to his chin. “This is getting boring anyways since you wouldn't let me get others in on it.”

“Wall party?” Twilight asks, still craning her neck at a strange angle.

“Please don't encourage him.” Ever says with an exasperated sigh. “Fine Mobius, but you can only use the east wall. I don't want anypony falling through a window, walking on our books or scuffing up our paintings. The last time you did that we had to replace a dozen books because you decided that it would be a good idea to impose it instead of suggest it. We won't invite you back if you do that this time, now please dissipate the quantum entanglement.”

“Okay, okay... Such a party pooper.” He grumbles, Ever only sighs in response. As the reflection looses coherency, the senses of the other Twilight begin to dull gradually which creates a sort of... pressure on the real Twilight's senses which ends with a 'popping' sensation. It's very hard to describe how it tastes to have that particular sense 'pop.'

“Was that some kind of arcane construct tied to me?” Twilight says softly after the ceiling becomes its normal self again.

“No, that was you as much as you are you.” Ever explains. “Though that you only existed once you acknowledged that pocket of reality.”

“I... feel like I'm going to be saying that 'I don't understand' a lot in the near future.” Twilight responds.

“No worries dear.” Ever says patting her shoulder comfortingly. “Now, would you help me to remove the few things on the east wall?”

“Sure.” Twilight replies as her horn flares to life. “So... is he going to do what I think he's going to do?”

“Creating a secondary non-inclusive gravitational orientation with the full causality effect?” Ever says with a slight shake of her head. “Yes, yes he is.”

“So... if you begin walking up the wall, not only will you not fall, but physics will adjust to the new orientation?” Twilight ventures.

“Close enough for an educated guess.” Ever says warmly. “There's quite a bit more to it than that, but yes. That it the general gist of it. I have a feeling that you're going to catch on fairly quickly in your studies.”

“I hope so...” Twilight replies.

“Attention everypony!” Ever calls out, cutting through the modest conversation with the same efficiency as a plasma cutter applied to butter. “If you would turn your attention to the eastern wall, we will have a demonstration of some minor applications of metaphysics by the head of the department. I introduce you all to Mobius Fractal.”

“Ah, ahem...” He clears his voice nervously. “I-if you a-all would l-look this way? I-it's as easy a-as wa-wa-walking up th-the wall.” At the conclusion of his stuttering explanation, he turns to the wall, places a hoof on it and begins to walk up it with no visible active magic nor ill effects. Once he nears the halfway point of the wall, he turns and smiles with a beckoning wave of his hoof. A couple just shake their heads with a smile before they too decide to join him, some of the unicorns levitating a few chairs up to rest on the wall. As though this is nothing out of the ordinary, the party continues though Rainbow Dash seeks Twilight out with the oddest look on her face.

“H-hey... Twi?” She says slowly, her voice scratchier than normal. “You know what I said earlier this week was a joke, right?” At this, Twilight slightly looses it and breaks out in laughter, causing Rainbow to look at her worriedly. “You okay, Twi?”

“Oh, yes.” Twilight says as she wipes a couple mirthful tears from the corners of her eyes. “I'm fine. Lets just say... I'm glad none of you girls had looked up earlier. I'm not sure how you would have handled that particular oddness.”

“I... I don't want to know. This is weird enough, though Pinkie, Spike and Rarity seem to be enjoying their selves well enough.” Dash replies. “To be honest, I'm kinda surprised to see Rarity mingling with them up there... I mean... they're on a wall for goodness sake.”

“I am too, now that I think about it.” Twilight responds. “Why don't you find the other girls and see how they're holding up. I need to talk to Ever Here for a bit.”

“Alright.” Dash responds. “Just... try to keep the freaky to a minimum? N-not for me... For Fluttershy.”

“I'll see what we can do, though no promises.” She says smiling as her friend goes to check on the others. “So... Ever, not that we can particularly do anything about this for now, why was Mobius stuttering like that? Why was he so nervous? Was he afraid he couldn't do it?”

“He has glossophobia.” Ever says with a slight smirk. “He's fine with two or three ponies, but a group of this size will cause it to surface in full force.”

“That's kind of mean.” Twilight replies.

“Oh, it's payback.” Ever says with a slight giggle. “He keeps changing what floor our offices are on and makes it worse than Tartarus for everypony in the offices on his bad days. I swear he took some lessons from Discord when he was unleashed.”

“You know about Discord?” Twilight says slightly shocked.

“Oh yes, we know all about that troublemaker.” She says with a sigh. “Causality started to break down in certain areas, Ponyville and a localized area in Canterlot predominantly. The Elements of Harmony repaired the damage in Ponyville, but we all had to pull double shifts here in Canterlot to deal with the residual damage he did.”

“It was quite the pain.” Val says with a distasteful twist to his mouth as he walks up to join them. “At least Mobius can be reasoned with... Sometimes at least.”

“Does... this happen often when he's around?” Twilight says waving her hoof towards the ponies walking about on the wall.

“Only if he's feeling impish or when he's particularly happy.” Val says wryly. “Which is fairly often. You should have seen the dove-pocalypse. It was gloriously disgusting.”

“Oh... That thing.” Ever says giggling behind her hoof. “As you can imagine, we have to vie for funding through the college and it's determined through overall effect we have with our students as well as any services we may provide. Well, two and a half years ago our budget was cut by two-thirds and nopony was pleased, Mobius least of all. So Mobius decided to link all the broom and utility closets together into a pocket dimension he made which attracted all the doves in Canterlot to it through a magnetic disturbance and copious amounts of bread crumbs. Needless to say that whenever one of these closets were opened, hundreds of doves would flood out and inhabit the immediate area in which they were released. Not only was it a unholy mess of feathers and droppings, but they had no immediate supplies to clean it with. The incessant cooing of a small horde of doves could be heard for days, the staff herding flocks of doves through the school was a sight to behold and Celestia save any poor pony who entered a classroom taken over by the doves. They tried almost everything until they realized that this kind of thing falls under our jurisdiction. We got twice our annual budget that year and a twenty percent increase in all succeeding years with no questions asked as long as the closets were put right by the end of the day.”

“At the end of the day, even though he may be an unholy terror to work or deal with, he does care for the ponies under him.” Val says chuckling deeply at the memory. “He's actually a few years younger than you, Twilight, so we're hoping that he will settle down a bit soon or maybe mellow a little.”

Twilight is without words at the end of the tale. The absurdity, the audacity, the sheer blegh of it all is too much, so she falls back on a tried and true coping mechanism; laughter. Before long, she's dragging in deep breaths and feels calm enough that even if a tiny manticore were swimming in the punch bowl, she wouldn't give it a second thought aside from a passing hello. For all she knew, it could very well be a thing and she just hasn't seen it yet. After that, Twilight eventually finds Never There once again who happens to be talking with Fluttershy who seems only a touch nervous about ponies walking on the wall behind her. She joins them for a little bit, just relaxing for a short while before she decides to join her friends on the wall. Rainbow Dash and Applejack who have found their way up as well, mingling with the occasional wide eyed look towards the actual floor to make sure that it stays there.

The rest of the night passes by fairly well for her, wall party included. They mingle for a few more hours before they decide that it would be best to catch the last train to Ponyville at eleven thirty. So with a slightly sleepy parade down the street (though Spike is already asleep) and they board the train after purchasing their tickets, Never There included. By the time they all get back to Ponyville, Twilight offers to host an impromptu sleep over so that Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy don't have to make the moderately long trip back to their own homes. With half-awake thanks, her three friends accept the offer and all go to sleep after their heads touch the pillows after tucking into their borrowed sleeping bags on the main floor of the library. After her friends all turn in, Twilight trudges upstairs with a sleeping dragon on her back. With a gentle use of magic, Twilight tucks Spike into his small bed before turning back her covers as well. Once she pulls the cool covers back up and rests her head on the cool pillow, she lets her tired mind succumb to sleeps soothing embrace.

Author's Note

ALL FEAR THE COMING OF THE DOVE-POCALYPSE!!! BRING WET-NAPS AND HAND SANITIZING GEL FOR YE WERE WARNED!!!!

Reality is Subjective

It was the morning three days after the rather... unique dinner party Twilight and her friends attended and Twilight still felt a little out of it. Twilight was lying on top of her messy bed like she had for the past two days and was looking at nothing in particular as she mentally replayed key scenes of that night. The party itself was fine, the company interesting and encouraging once they learned that she was going to be venturing into their field of study and work. What really left her feeling as though she had yet to set her hooves back on solid ground was the incident with Mobius Fractal. It still made her shiver slightly when she remembered how she was in two places at once, both versions of herself looking up and making eye contact. Then there was the thing with ponies walking on the wall of the living room. She couldn't help but think about how it was only one small fragment of what she would be learning about. Never before had she ever reconsidered her studies in such a way.

She had to do something or she would go crazy. Maybe a short walk to Sugar Cube Corner would be in order to help clear her head. Well... maybe not there. But a walk to someplace is definitely in order. So with that in mind, Twilight sat up and gave her coat and mane a perfunctory brushing to look like she hadn't spent the past few days doing absolutely nothing in her bed. She knew Spike was worried about how she had behaved these past couple days, but it was time to show him that she was okay. Well... somewhat okay anyways.

Once she opened her door and walked down the stairs, she called out to Spike, “I'm going out for a bit! I'll be back soon!”

“You okay, Twilight?” Spike replied as he came hurrying into the room from the kitchen. “I mean, you've been hiding in your room for two days since that dinner party.”

“I'm okay Spike,” Twilight said with a slightly apathetic sigh. “It's just that I now know that there's a distinct group of ponies devoted to regularly breaking my world-view, repeatedly, on a daily basis. Hay, I even know a living embodiment of reality bending impossibility. I just figured that I had something of a handle on things after I lined up tutoring, but it's really looking like I just dived into the deep end without knowing how far down it goes.”

“Well... just take it slow,” Spike said with a concerned look before giving her a quick hug. “It might take some getting used to, but I think a more open mind might help you out here.”

“You're right, Spike,” Twilight said with a small smile as she returned his hug. “It looks like the world isn't as orderly as I thought it was.”

“I would have that was pretty obvious,” he said with a laugh but continued at Twilight's quizzical expression. “Look at all the things that've happened to us. Seriously... an infestation of parasprites ate most of Ponyville one time. The town was terrorized by a stampede of baby bunnies. Pinkie Pie?”

“Ha ha!” Twilight laughed at his examples. “I guess so, but it's still going to take some time for me to get used to everything.”

“No worries.” Spike said confidently. “You've got plenty of friends to help you when you need it and let's not forget your number one assistant!”

“Right,” Twilight said with a smirk as she ruffled his head spines. “I'll be back later. Maybe I'll do a bit of shopping while I'm out.”

“Alright. We're low on milk and orange juice, just so ya know.”

“I'll be sure to pick some up.” She said as she put her saddlebags on. “If it's not much trouble, could you do some laundry while I'm out? I'm pretty sure my bed sheets could use it.”

“Sure.” Spike said happily at seeing Twilight finally pull herself out of her funk. “Take as long as you need.”

“Okay... See you later,” Twilight said with a smile as she walked outside. The day was nice and warm with a cool breeze to take away the fangs of the heat. All in all, it was a great day for Twilight to finally come out of her seclusion. Turning to her right, Twilight decided to head over to the market to do a little browsing. As she entered the bustling square, she saw that everything was still the same. Her neighbors and acquaintances still went about their lives like usual, the sun was still shining down brightly and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Maybe everything was going to be okay. With that stray thought, Twilight smiled and shook her head before plunging into the general hustle and bustle of a typical Monday morning.

As she made her way past the various stalls, Twilight's eye was drawn to the oddities stall that was set up every once in a while. She was a fairly regular customer as the curious pegasus stallion that ran the stall would sometimes stumble upon something or other that she could use: lenses, old scientific equipment, the odd tome here or there and even the occasional artifact from times long past. She never knew where he found such things, but she never questioned her luck. Another thing she never questioned was whenever Wandering Tinker would suggest she buy something. He possessed something akin to Pinkie's Sense, only it involved items that would be needed in the near future.

“Good morning Tinker,” She said as she walked up to peruse his wares. “Any luck today?”

“Oh, there's always luck around if you know where to find it,” he replied with a chuckle. “When I was out gathering my wares the other day, I found a real gem I think you'll really like.”

“Oh?” Twilight said, eager to see what it was that he had found. Waiting patiently while he rummaged around to find the item, she looked over his wares a bit, gathering a couple impulse purchases like a stone flask that looked to have seen a couple centuries at least, a set of copper scales that were beautifully engraved with stylized scenes of commerce and a curious looking gem that she had never encountered before. She would likely run it by several reference guides first, to make sure that it wasn't a new type of precious stone, but if it had been previously discovered, she would likely give it to Spike as a thank you for putting up with her sudden fit of hermitage. She still added an extra ruby to be sure he got something at least, in case she had something exciting on her hooves.

“Aha! Here it is!” Tinker finally exclaimed as he pulled out a narrow wooden case engraved with a curious relief. He set it on the middle of his display area and opened it to reveal a small spyglass set with sapphire lenses. “I was wandering around in the mountain ranges north of Canterlot and came across a small keep carved deep into a nearly hidden ravine. If you asked me to find it again, I swear on my life I don't think I would be able to. But anyhow, deep inside this keep I found a room layered in dust that hadn't been disturbed in over a millennium at least, where some great and mystical construct glinted in the faint light. I looked around that room for a bit, barely daring to breath for not wanting to wake the mighty thing. Don't ask me why I thought it was asleep, but that's how I take a feeling to these things sometimes.

“So, as I gathered a few odds and ends littered about the room, something caught my eye, resting on the very platform of the construct itself. It was this, you see. So I walked up to it all reverent like, so as to be respectful and offered an exchange for it. I traded a half full wineskin for it and it seemed alright, so I took the case and was about to go before that curious gem you got there caught my eye as well. Everything I knew about places like this told me to thank my lucky stars and get out, but it felt like it was thanking me for dropping by. I would imagine it gets mighty lonely, sitting in a long forgotten keep so I took it with a word of thanks and made my farewells before walking out with the strangest feeling of happiness in my heart.” He finally finished with a flourish.

“That's quite the tale,” Twilight said with a smile. Tinkers tales had to be taken with a cube of salt or two, but he certainly knew how to entertain his patrons. “So, do you know what it does?”

“Oh, it's a mighty artifact, Twilight,” he said with a broad smile as he leaned in conspiratorially to her. “It reveals the secrets of magic.”

“The secrets of magic?” She asked, clearly skeptical.

“I know it's hard to believe, but it's the honest truth, Celestia as my witness.” He said in all seriousness. “It's mighty dear to me, but I know that one such as yourself would put it to good use instead of setting it on a shelf to collect dust. If you'd care to try it out for yourself before buying it, I'm sure you wouldn't find the price too dear.”

“Okay...” Twilight said, ready for a demonstration though expecting nothing spectacular. “So what do I do?”

“Just put it up to your eye and take a gander at me.” He replied, full of confidence that she would buy the object in question as soon as she saw what it did.

Simple enough. Twilight thought as she lit her horn to open the case and lifted the object in question to her eye. Inside the case was a fairly plain spyglass. The first thing she noticed was that it was fairly simple, about as long as her horn with a simple line of unknown script around the edges of the apertures and that the lenses were of a dark blue sapphire. She lifted it to her right eye, noticing the new tint that colored her view... Then she saw what he meant. There, standing before her was Tinker, though it seemed as though a dark cloud had passed over him. The next immediate thing she noticed was the lines of the vibrant tattoos of light scrawled across his wings and body as well as a pair small orbiting rings of text centered on the joints of his wings. She looked up at his face as her attention was drawn by the occasional line of script in an unknown language floating up from his forehead followed by Tinker smirking broadly. As she studied the script, a thought came unbidden to her mind. Told ya.

“What...?” She trailed off weakly as she lowered the spyglass.

“Told ya.” Tinker said aloud with a smirk. “So, interested?”

“Y-yes! How much?” Twilight suddenly asked, eager to get her purchase and return to the library and study it.

“How does... nine hundred and fifty bits for it and your other items sound? That gem and spyglass are truly rare items I think you'll get more use out of it than I will.” He replied.

“Can you drop by the library after you close up?” Twilight asked needfully. “I don't have that many bits on me right now.”

“I don't see why not...” He said before trailing off as a blinding flash of light cut him off, her remaining items left where they were. “That mare needs to learn how to take life in stride.” He said to himself with a shake of his head and a chuckle. He looked around briefly as he searched out the next pony who would have need of his wares, patient as always.

“Spike?!” Twilight called out before even the ambient light of her teleportation spell could dissipate. “Spike! I need you to send a message to Princess Celestia and ask her if she remembers anything, anything at all, about a small spyglass artifact.”

“Huh?” He said quizzically at her sudden reappearance and behavior. “Did you get the milk?”

“What? No. This is more important than milk.” Twilight replied in a brusque tone. “This... This is probably one of the most valuable magical artifacts that may exist in Equestria, Spike. I need you to send that letter to the Princess as soon as possible.”

“Alright, alright... Sheesh.” He complained. “At least you're back to normal...”

His words went unheeded as Twilight had already made her way to the staircase leading down to her basement laboratory. She was going to have to get serious this time. She pushed up her metaphorical sleeves as she took her prized treasure over to the wide basalt workbench that she had recently installed and placed it gently on its surface before walking off to gather several tools she felt would be needed. She calmed down significantly after a moment of focus so she wouldn't buck up anything that could potentially be irreplaceable.

The first thing she did was take a sheet of parchment and quill before levitating the spyglass up to study the script around the edge of the larger aperture so she could copy the oddly flowing runes. She constantly looked between the two objects to ensure that her transcription was accurate. She wrote and wrote and wrote, filling up half of the parchment before she broke out of a trance she didn't even know she was in.

“What...?” She said dazedly as she looked at the transcribed words. Seemingly, without her realizing it, she had been writing a line of unending text. “Ugh... Seriously?”

“Quite so, my dear Twilight.” A calm voice replied to her. Startled, she spun around quickly to see that Princess Celestia had arrived without her noticing. “I see you've found something from a time long ago.”

“Wait... You know what this is?” Twilight asked, all pretense of honoring her mentor's status forgotten in the depths of her knowledge craving mind.

“Of course I do, Twilight.” Celestia responded as a smile graced her face. “I helped Starswirl with the first prototype and funded his associates in the beginning of their endeavors to discover the truth behind magic.”

“The truth behind magic?” Twilight asked in confusion. “But... We know all about magic now because of...”

“Exactly!” Celestia said, laughing slightly at her students slightly befuddled expression. “Magic was still enigmatic and temperamental when Starswirl began his in depth studies. Even Luna and I knew nothing about how magic worked until Starswirl taught us what he discovered. We just used it and that was that. But Starswirl... He wanted to know the hows and whys of magic. He always ranted on and on about how 'magic was so wishy washy,' so he decided to take it on his own shoulders to 'straighten it out' or so he said. So that's where this spyglass came into play. He wanted a way to see how magic behaved on its own so he could try to discern some natural laws about it. He wanted to see it in use and if it changed in any way depending on the spells used. Well, as you obviously know, he got all that and more from this ingenious little artifact.”

“But that doesn't tell me anything, Princess...” Twilight said helplessly, her love of magics greatest and most influential personage not even drawing her attention away from her need to know. “I used it a little... I saw somepony's thoughts, their inherent magic. Why and how does it do what it does?”

“Well, I can't tell you all you want to know, but I can tell you one small piece about it at the very least, though the rest you'll learn about in your new studies.” Celestia replied. “I know that the lenses are made of pure Arcanum Firmus. Raw, solid magic.”

“I though Arcanum Firmus was a myth. I mean, solid magic? What has the power to do that? I mean... sure, I've read about it once or twice, but from what I know, magic's only attracted to active thought...”

“Enough speculation for now, Twilight.” Celestia said as she derailed her protege's train of thought. “Lets go share a cup of tea and talk of other things.”

“Wait... Why are you here?” Twilight suddenly asked once she finally came out of the depths of her mind.

“Well, I received a letter from Spike and knew what would likely happen if I left you to your own devices,” Celestia said with a chuckle. “At least I got here quickly enough that you didn't try to channel a spell through the lens...”

Twilight's eyes widened significantly, her pupils reducing to the size of pinpricks as the implications ran through her head. “Yeah...” She said in a very small voice. “I'm glad you came as soon as you did, Princess.”

“Come now, let's not worry about things that didn't happen and now, never will since you know better. Lets see about that tea.”

***

“So... As a part of my new studies... I'm required to read not only Starswirl's personal journal, but his complete research notes too?!” Twilight exclaimed giddily from across the table from Celestia, her tea being woefully neglected.

“Every metaphysics student is required to read them as an introductory primer.” Celestia replied casually.

“A... a primer?” Twilight replied softly, hurt that such an important pony's life work was nothing more than a... /primer/. “But... that's just... cruel...”

“Quite the contrary, Twilight.” Celestia retorted. “Starswirl was quite prolific in his research and to be honest, these two works contain everything one needs to know in this field of study.”

“You've gotta be kidding me, right?” Twilight said, feeling as though she wasn't just being pulled from one emotional extreme to another, but getting spun around and shaken like a bartender's drink mixer, all at the same time. “What kind of cruel joke is this?”

“It's no joke, Twilight. Metaphysics requires you to only know what it is that you're dealing with. The sheer scope of metaphysics is as broad and varied as thought itself.”

“But... Only two books!” Twilight exclaimed squeakily.

“To learn about it, dear. There are hundreds, neigh, thousands more on the discoveries and revelations provided through metaphysics.” Celestia said, a smile breaking through as she saw Twilight relax, knowing that there were books to read for her studies. “Would you like a demonstration of one such revelation?”

“Oh! Yes, please!” Twilight exclaimed, happily this time.

“Then, please tell me what you know about the weight of a thought and the perspective it grants.”

“Thoughts... don't have a weight...” Twilight replied, clearly becoming disheartened at not being able to expound on a clearly philosophical question.

“Of course they do.” Celestia said, grinning. “Don't you feel it when you think of certain things? Absolutes, certainties, unchangeable things and concepts? Don't these thoughts feel as though they settle more firmly in your mind?”

“Well... yeah...”

“That's because these thoughts are heavier. They are comprised of more than one thought as they are meant to.” Celestia shifted in her chair slightly, taking on a slightly lecturing tone. “Take gravity for example. Everypony knows that gravity keeps their hooves planted firmly on the earth, makes expensive things break when knocked off of their pedestals and so many, many other things as well. That it is always down. So because of these many amalgamated thoughts being included in that one word, that one thought, it is a very heavy thought indeed. So, what if I decided to change, in my own mind at least, how gravity worked for somepony else. Or for a room, or even for a house? Why, I would use metaphysics of course.”

“But... that would use so much magic, I don't even know how somepony could manage it...” Twilight said as she tried to mentally calculate how much it would require to change the laws of physics that drastically.

“Oh, it's actually quite easy if you know how to change your perspective,” Celestia said with a smile. “So, I change my perception of gravity for... oh, lets say this tea.” She said as she gestured to her full cup of tea. “The origin of gravity for this tea is from there.” She said as she pointed to the bust in the middle of the library, her voice layered strangely from magic as her horn lit up to enforce her change in perspective. The tea immediately shifted as though it were being spilled onto the ground... if the ground were to suddenly become a bust and nopony tilted the cup. It sloshed through the air as it rapidly gained speed and splashed into the object, spraying slightly before “falling” back to the surface of the bust and flowing about its surface. Twilight stared for a bit, watching the tea settle and pool around the object of interest. “See how simple and effortless it was for me to affect just a cup of tea by modifying my concept of 'gravity?' It would only be marginally harder for me to... lets say, shift or invert gravity for Ponyville.” Twilight's face drained of color at imagining what havoc that could wreak. Celestia chuckled and continued talking, “Of course I would do nothing of the sort, but you can see how useful, and how powerful, metaphysics can make a pony.”

“I... How many ponies are involved in that division of the College?” Twilight asked nervously.

“Eight unicorns, seven earth ponies, and three pegasi.” She replied with a smile.

“Eight of which can easily break the laws of physics, or any natural law with a change of perspective and a little magic...” Twilight wobbled slightly in her chair.

“They use their gifts and talents solely for the protection of Equestria dear Twilight, so please don't be so frightened of what they can do.” Celestia soothed.

“I'm... just... a little frightened.” She said as a slight shiver shook her body. “Just... a little.”

“Don't worry, Twilight. You'll come to no harm from them, I assure you.”

“Physical harm, no. But I'm not so certain about my mental well being around them.”

“It just takes a little... adjustment, is all.” Celestia said warmly. “I'm sure you'll be much happier overall once you learn one little trick I quickly picked up on.”

“Yeah?” Twilight asked hopeful to hear the advice of her mentor.

“Just accept whatever happens. Don't worry about it because you have the power to change it to something you can deal with at any time.”

“I don't know if I can though...” She demurred.

“Of course you can Twilight. You could move the heavens and the earth with how much studying you do coupled with your limitless potential. I know you can.”

Bolstered by Celestia's words of praise, Twilight raised her head a bit higher and smile a little shyly. “I'll try my best, Princess.”

“That's all I've ever asked, Twilight,” Celestia said as she leaned over the table to nuzzle her student warmly. “And you've never disappointed me before.”

***

Once Celestia had left, Twilight puttered about the library for a little while before she realized that she had a new tool in her studies to use with no subjects to study, so she sent Spike out with a trio of notes asking some of her friends for assistance. Within a couple minutes of his departure, Tinker dropped by with her other items from earlier and looked to settle her debt. Twilight laughed sheepishly as she remembered her behavior earlier and retreated to her basements strongbox to withdraw the bits agreed upon as well as a few extra for the hassle she put Tinker through. With that settled, Tinker left on his merry way, his saddlebags jingling and a spring in his step despite the heavy load.

The rest of the day went by at a leisurely pace after Spike returned. Despite the fact that a certain pony was to come by after supper, Spike found himself exhausted enough that he couldn't hold off sleep anymore, so Twilight took the punch drunk dragon upstairs and tucked him in for the night. It was about an hour after suppertime when the door to the library opened to admit a trio of familiar ponies. “So, why'd ya need us ta drop by for again, Twi?” Applejack asked as she, Rainbow Dash and Rarity walked into the library looking around the main room of the library for anything out of the ordinary. Thankfully, the Princess took care of the tea and the bust shortly after her little demonstration. “Ah don't mind helpin' out, but Ah don't need ta wake up tomorrow with gills or feathers for a mane.”

“I just need you girls to get some initial observations before I try this out on anypony else.” She replied as she left her desk from putting down some miscellaneous notes.

“Try what out?” Rainbow asked.

“This!” Twilight said happily as she brought forth her new treasure from its resting place on her desk and opened the case to show them.

“A little telescope?” She asked as she tilted her head to the side slightly.

“It's not really a telescope, and it's normally called a 'spyglass.'” Twilight answered. “This is an artifact originating from Starswirl himself! I don't really know how many there are, or if this is even the last one in existence, but it allows whoever looks through it to see magic itself.”

“So? We see magic all the time. What's so special about this thing?” Dash asked.

“No, no, dear Rainbow.” Rarity chimed in a second before Twilight spoke. “What we see is magic's effects in the world. Normally, magic is only visible when it's being used by unicorns when we bring enough of it together to be put to purpose, hence the aura around our horns before we use a spell.”

“Well put, Rarity!” Twilight said giddily at her friends display of knowledge. “Exactly right! Now, normally magic cannot be seen, but this miracle of arcane engineering allows for anypony to actually see magic in its natural form. Once I'm done with my observations, you girls can use it yourselves to see what I mean. But, Rarity? Please be very careful not to cast any spells directly at the lenses. It would be an incredibly bad idea to do so for everypony in Ponyville.”

“Duly noted, Twilight.” Rarity said as her voice wavered noticeably.

“Now, all I need for you girls to do is stand in the middle of the room while I take notes. Maybe have you do something or other involving your unique pony magic, but nothing dangerous of course.”

“Doesn't sound too hard,” Applejack said casually with a cheeky grin as she walked into the middle of the room while their other friends lingered behind Twilight so that they didn't distract her. “May as well git this over an' done with so we can see what this thing can do ourselves.”

“Alright, Applejack. Just stand still and we'll get started.” Applejack just nodded with a quick adjustment of her hat. Twilight levitated a piece of parchment over to the floor in front of her along with a quill and inkwell before adjusting the artifact to look at Applejack. As the blue hue tinted her vision and Applejack seemed to darken as if under a shadow, Twilight saw line after line of brightly glowing script scrawling across every part of her friends body, making her appear as though she wasn't even something physical. Unlike her brief glimpse of Tinker, Twilight saw no orbiting rings of text on her person, though she did see the occasional scrap of text float from her forehead. It must have something to do with being an earth pony. She mused as she wrote her observations down. Twilight studied Applejack for a couple more minutes, noticing that the script seemed to ebb and flow slightly though the majority of the script concentrated itself in thicker lines that flowed down her legs. “Could we step outside for a moment, Applejack? I want to see if your magic behaves differently while in contact with the earth.”

“Ah don't see why not.” She agreed. Twilight smiled in thanks as they made their way out the front door with Rarity and Rainbow in tow. Applejack walked over to an area of closely cropped grass and stood still again for Twilight as she examined her friend once more. As she looked at Applejack again, Twilight saw that the magic now pulsed strongly, the torrents of script that once looped around inside of her friends body now flowed into the ground beneath her hooves, fading into the ground and glowing brightly as it flowed back into her. It seemed as though Applejack were standing amidst a pool of glowing light that cast no glow.

“Thanks, Applejack. I think I have all I need for now.” Twilight said after about a minute more observation. “So, who's next?”

“I'll bite.” Rainbow said in a slightly bored tone.

“Thanks, Rainbow.” Twilight replied. “It shouldn't be too much longer before you can try out the spyglass yourself.”

“No worries. It's just that this is a little boring is all, just watching you watch Applejack stand still.”

“Like I said, it shouldn't be too much longer.” Twilight reassured. “I just want to make sure I don't miss too much the first time so I'm not asking you girls to come by every other day just so I can get all the notes I need.”

“I know, but still...” Rainbow said with a helpless smile. “So, I guess you want me to stand still for a bit and then fly a bit so you can see my magic in action?”

“That would be perfect!” Twilight said as she grinned at her friends deduction of what she wanted. “Alright, just go stand where Applejack was and we'll get right to it.”

Rainbow smirked at Applejack as they passed each other which caused Applejack to laugh a little before they stood in their swapped positions. Twilight raised the spyglass once again and watched as the artifact did what it does best. She saw Rainbow darken while her inherent magic became visible. From her brief glimpse of Tinker earlier that day, Twilight decided to inspect her friend a little closer to see if there were any differences between pegasi. Twilight walked over to Rainbow and asked her to extend her left wing so that she could study the orbiting ring of script better as she discovered that the script on her friends body was static. The biggest difference between Rainbow and Tinker was that Twilight could notice that instead of one orbiting ring of magic, Rainbow had five rings that overlapped slightly and decreased in size from the central ring. As she inspected the rings a little closer, Twilight discovered that she was incorrect in her initial observation as the “rings” were in fact one incredibly large ring that looped and twisted around the appendage.

“Huh...” He said quietly.

“What?” Rainbow asked. “Is there something weird about my magic or something?”

“No... I don't think so...” Twilight replied. “When I first found the spyglass, I looked at Tinker with it and I only saw one ring of orbiting script around his wings. Well, you do too. The thing is that your magic ring is so massive, it apparently wraps around your wing several times to contain itself.”

“So... is that good or bad?” Rainbow asked nervously.

“I don't know to be honest.” Twilight confessed. “I haven't read Starswirl's journal and research yet, so I can't really answer your question, but if you've always been like this, and I think you have, I don't think you should be worried. It might have something to do with energy conservation.”

“Alright, if you say so.” Rainbow replied mostly reassured. “So I guess I have a lot of magic or something?”

“Most definitely.” Twilight replied. “Like I said, I'm just trying to get some basic observations, so maybe asking you for this may be a bit unfair in comparison to other pegasi I'll be observing.”

“Well... I am the fastest flier in Equestria!” Rainbow boasted, a cocky grin plastered on her face.

“Sure as hay the best bragger in Equestria too!” Applejack snarked.

“Hey! When it's true, it's just called 'stating the facts.'” Rainbow retorted.

“Rainbow Dash, please stay still!” Twilight pleaded as Rainbow flared her wings in response to Applejack's taunting.

“Sorry.” She responded in a slightly embarrassed tone at being so easily riled. Twilight made a few more notes on her parchment before stepping back a few paces.

“Could you fly a little bit for me?” Twilight asked once she stopped. “Maybe hover a bit while keeping your wings as still as possible?”

“Sure thing, Twi.” Rainbow replied before launching herself about ten feet into the air. Once she established herself in the air, Rainbow took a few moments to adjust her wing beats so she was hovering with reasonably small strokes of her wings. Once Twilight got a nod from Rainbow, she looked through the artifact again. The massive ring of magic that had once been wrapped tightly around Rainbows wings had unraveled itself in a mesmerizing helix pattern three times as long as her wings, bunches of the script being crimped into a loose approximation of feathers that extended half again as far as her real feathers, giving her the appearance of having enormous ethereal wings imposed over her actual ones. After studying them for a roughly a minute, Twilight noticed something else as well as she looked at the rest of her friend. The static lines of magic were now floating slightly from her and glowing more strongly. She couldn't do much in the way of closer observation at the moment, so she just made a note of the phenomenon and an addendum to look into it at some point.

“Alright. That should be enough for now.” Twilight said as she finished her notes. “Thanks for the help.”

“No prob.” Dash said as she dropped back to her hooves and an eager smile on her face. “So, just Rarity left and we can see what this little thing can do.”

“How about we head back inside?” Twilight suggested.

“A splendid idea.” Rarity replied.

Once back inside, Rarity separated herself from the others to stand in the middle of the room. Knowing the drill by now, Rarity just stood there as Twilight smiled in thanks before lifting the spyglass one more time and looked at her friend. Unlike her other friends who had magic script that was a part of their bodies, Rarity seemed unnaturally dull in comparison. That is until Twilight noticed what appeared to be something akin to an incredibly dense nexus rotating around her head, just above Rarity's eyes.

“That's interesting.” Twilight mused aloud.

“What is, dear?” Rarity asked.

“Well, you don't have any intrinsic magic involving your body. It all seems to be concentrated into some kind of nexus around your head. It sorta looks like a slowly rotating crown.”

“A crown you say...” Rarity said with a bright gleam in her eyes. “Why, I simply must see it for myself. Once you're done with your notes, of course.”

“No problem, Rarity.” Twilight replied distractedly as she scribbled a few more things down. “Do you think you could cast a spell for me?”

“Does it matter what kind?”

“I guess levitating something would be best for this. Try that teacup on the table over there.” Twilight said as her focus ramped up exponentially. She watched intently as the nexus stopped its slow rotation as it wrapped and intertwined incredibly quickly, layer over layer onto her horn and glowed easily three times as brightly as Rainbow's ethereal wings.

“How was that, Twilight?” Rarity asked, breaking Twilight's moment of total absorption in the moment.

“Oh! Sorry... I was studying the script around you and missed the spell. Could you do it again while I watch the teacup?”

“It doesn't seem too arduous to me, Twilight,” Rarity said with a little chuckle which got Twilight to laugh too.

“Thanks, Rarity.” Twilight replied as she moved over to the table and made herself ready to observe magic in action. “Ready when you are.” She said once the artifact was back to her eye. Watching closely, Twilight saw a very faint flicker of silvery light dart across her vision before the teacup suddenly rose an inch off the table and had two rings of script suddenly rotating around the object. “I think I have enough for now. Thank you, Rarity. Thanks a lot, all of you. I'm not quite sure what I can really do with this spyglass just yet, but I think I have some good groundwork to start with.”

“Shucks, sugar cube, all we did was stand still fer the most part,” Applejack said with a chuckle. “You did all the note takin'.”

“Yeah, seriously.” Rainbow said as she laughed a little. “It's not like we're doing anything special or anything.”

“Quite so.” Rarity chimed in. “We're just happy to help.”

“Thanks, girls,” Twilight said with a winning smile. “Now, I'll just go take care of a couple things with my notes, so feel free to check out the spyglass if you want. Just remember to be careful and no spells directed at the lens.” Twilight saw them nod at her instructions and walked off to her desk along the wall and settled down to transcribe her notes for archival and to double check for anything she may have glossed over or forgotten in her initial writing.

As she was temporarily absorbed in her work, her friends were busy passing the spyglass back and forth. They weren't sure about what to expect when they looked through the artifact, but they were all very surprised by what they saw, if the gasps and words of wonder they offered were any indication. Especially when Rainbow Dash hopped up into the air to show them her magic at work. After a couple minutes of this, they turned their attention to Twilight who was only partially paying attention to them.

“Hey, Twilight?” Rainbow asked curiously of her friend to draw her out of her work.

“Yeah?”

“Well... What does it mean, since Rarity has a “crown” and all, if you were to have one that looks completely solid and a cloak to match?”

“I... I don't know...” Twilight said curiously. “I've noticed that the more magic somepony has relates to how much “script” they have, but so far, I've only seen a few ponies, so I can't say for certain. Maybe the magic manifests differently for different ponies depending on their talents? I'll have to do a lot more studying before I can say anything for sure, but I'll let all of my friends know about what I find.”

“Cool.” Dash replied.

“I must say though, Twilight.” Rarity said charmingly. “You simply must let me make an analogue of your magical appearance for you to wear. You look so... noble and dignified that it would be a travesty not to let you look like that in real life.”

“If you insist, Rarity, but it'll have to wait for a while.” Twilight relented, knowing that Rarity would have her way despite her denials sooner or later with varying levels pleading and wheedling on her part. “I'm about to start my new studies soon and I won't have much time to model for you.”

“Not a problem, dear.” Rarity assured. “Just drop by tomorrow morning and I'll take all the measurements I'll need. Shouldn't be take longer than a brief cup of tea.”

“Alright.” Twilight agreed with a half smile. “I guess I can manage that much at least.”

A couple chuckles from Rainbow and Applejack drew the pair apart from their conversation as it reminded them that they weren't alone. After a few more viewings of one another and of their selves once a full length mirror was brought into play, before Twilight put the precious item back in its case and stored it in her desk, they wound down with a little idle chatter before Twilight was left to her own devices. With a slowly growing smile Twilight returned to her desk and finished her notes before putting everything away for the night. After extinguishing the candles and lanterns around the main floor of the library, Twilight let Owlowiscious out for the night before she made her way back upstairs to turn in for the night.

She lay on her side under her blankets as she looked out at the starry night sky as slow thoughts plodding through her mind. Surprisingly enough, Twilight wasn't ecstatic or overly excited about her new course of study or her unexpected treasure find earlier that day. Instead, she found herself open minded and calm in a way she had rarely experienced before. She was going to rediscover magic and all it was in a way few others had ever experienced. She had to be open for any new perspectives she may discover and just incorporate them into what she already knew. It wasn't so much the discovering of metaphysical magic that she anticipated eagerly, but the complete understanding of magic as she knew it that she was truly looking forward to.

Author's Note

So... I've been away for a while... but I'm finally back! I'm a little up in the air about what to update next, but my good friend and trusted editor, MythrilMoth will help me get it to you all the faster.

The Pony That Is Never There [Revised]

The Pony Who Is Never There

It was an average day for the earth pony who goes by Never There. He got up and went about his usual routine. He washed up, ate breakfast and went to the market for the things he needs and returns home to put his stuff away. Normally just doing whatever he wants to do for the rest of the day. The only anomaly isn't for him though. That's for the ponies in the market place. They would notice some of their wares were missing suddenly, only to suddenly hear the jingle of bits landing on their counter appropriate to the price of the wares taken. For most of them, it is a common occurrence and didn't think anything about it. One poor soul, a new stall owner, has a minor panic attack before his stall neighbor points out the bits lying on his counter with a chuckle and an abbreviated explanation. He grumpily scooped the bits into his apron and goes about the rest of his day in irritation, woe to the ponies who stopped to ponder his wares.

Never There is probably the most astounding pony to have never really been a citizen of Equestria. Sure, he lived there, but he doesn't live within the social fabric that makes the nation. But no one could tell him that, because he is Never There. He lives in Ponyville... Well that's what the records say anyways. He doesn't have a job or any real friends. He does, however, have a pet goldfish by the name of Blubs. Blubs would happily swim about his bowl, enjoying the twice daily feedings, warm sunlight and distorted sights out of the window beside the small stand he lives on. For all of ten, maybe fifteen seconds if he concentrates hard. Then he's happy to repeat this content existence all over again.

Never There lived in a slightly squashed house and owned a rather commendable multiple-room library consisting of seven hundred and forty three books. He liked to think of himself as a well read stallion, though he has never had a face-to-face conversation with another pony after he came of age. It wasn't that he couldn't talk. It was just that nopony seemed to hear him talk. If he's feeling particularly outgoing, he will try to communicate with somepony by writing on a piece of paper and placing it in front of them. They tend to think that either there's a ghost or somepony's playing a prank on them and would throw it away, so he doesn't waste parchment this way too often. He does go to the library on occasion to check out a book once in a while since the librarian has a convenient check-out method for him. She seems nice enough though and her little assistant seems a pretty amicable fellow as he leaves out delicious cookies for the patrons on occasion.

For the most part, he's content with his life. His parents established an annuity with substantial weekly payments delivered by a member of the local bank to the safety drop box set up for the purpose. He never wants for anything, entertains his self in some fashion or other and he is perfectly okay with this. Over the past few years there have been bizarre things that would spring up or happen across town, only to either completely bypass him or to not worry him overmuch at the least. He guessed that he's just lucky like that. However, one day, that luck had to run out eventually.

***

“There's an overdue book?” Twilight asks Spike curiously as they go about their weekly re-shelving in the middle morning. “What book and who has it?”

“Theoretical Philosophy, Volume VII. The name is... Never There?” Spike replied quizzically.

“Really? I didn't think anypony ever checked out those books. Did Never There ever check out any of the others?” She asked a little more enthusiastically.

“Yep.” Spike says as he leafed through the ledger. “They've checked out the entire series and... whoa... They've been coming here ever since we've been here. Do you know who this pony is? I'm sure I've never met them before.”

“I don't think I ever have. I'm sure I would have noticed if somepony had checked out those books though. I've never even seen anypony peruse or ask about the philosophy section before. Maybe we should go visit to get the book back and introduce ourselves to them. I'm sure we'll get along great if they're reading stuff this advanced.” Twilight says excitedly clapping her front hooves together in anticipation. “Lets go ask the Mayor where Never There lives right now. We'll re-shelve later.”

“Alright. Let me go grab some cookies real quick and we can get going.”

“Spike... If you keep eating the cookies, there won't be any left for us when we get there.” Twilight says as she watched him toss another into the air only to be snapped up by his agile tongue.

“Sorry. Gotta keep my energy up since we've been going all over town to find this guy.” He responded. Twilight just chuckled and bumps into him as they walk down the road. Though the humor doesn't last long as she remembered asking Mayor Mare about Never There.

“So, what's he like?” Twilight asks after they find out where he lives and that he's actually a he.

“I don't know to be honest. The record says he has lived here since twelve years ago, voted in all the elections since moving and even pays his taxes on time. But I don't remember ever meeting Never There.” The Mayor responded.

“That's really strange. I thought you knew almost everypony who lives here.” Twilight said slightly put off.

“I do... Or I thought I did anyways. If I don't know them, I'm sure Pinkie pie would. She knows everypony, mule and cow in Ponyville. Maybe you can ask her about him after you get your book back.” She said as she pushed the strangeness of the situation aside for the moment.

“I think I will. Thanks for your time, Mayor.” Twilight said as she turned to leave.

“Not a problem. Glad I could help.” The Mayor replied as she went back to some urgent document or petition that currently clamored silently for attention.

“We're here.” Spike said suddenly. Twilight looked up and around to look at the house he's looking at. It's a rather nondescript house, squeezed narrowly between two taller houses. It had two stories with a few windows set along the front face of the building, painted slate gray with white washed shutters. Looking in one of the windows, Twilight spotted a rather large fishbowl inhabited by a medium sized goldfish who looked out curiously at them before disappearing behind a small water plant. She watched for another moment before she looked to the front door.

“Well, lets go introduce ourselves.” Twilight said as she walked up to knock on the door. She politely tapped on the door a few times and waited. Nothing. She knocked again, more firmly this time. They wait a little more. “Hello? Is anypony home? It's Twilight Sparkle, the librarian of Golden Oaks Library... You have an overdue book and I thought I'd come check up on it.” She called out, hoping to get the occupants attention.

Still nothing. Then there is nothing for a few more moments and Twilight started to get a little huffy that either nopony is home or that they're ignoring her. Then the front door opened without warning. Twilight's so shocked that when she goes to take a step back, she sits down hard.

“Wah! What was that all about? Hello...?” She said expecting to see somepony standing there but trails off when she doesn't see anypony.

“Whoa! Did ya see that Twilight? The door opened all on its own!” Spike said nervously as he peeked from around Twilight's back.

“Don't be ridiculous Spike. Somepony had to open it after all.” She responded confidently. She looked back again to see that a scrap of parchment now sat in the door way. Grabbing it in her magic, she floated it over to her and read: Please, come in and make yourselves at home. I'll be with you in a moment. -Never There.

“That's odd... Why didn't he just say so instead of writing me a note?” Twilight said in confusion.

“Beats me. Sometimes you ponies are just weird...” He got a flat look from Twilight. “Okay, okay... I can be just as weird too... Sometimes.” He conceded with a roll of his eyes as Twilight snorted a little laugh.

With that, they spare the front of the house one more look before they walk in. The main room is... for the lack of a better word... squashed. Instead of being a typical square, the room is rectangular in shape with another doorway at the far end leading, presumably to the kitchen. They look to their left to see the fishbowl again, its occupant ponderously examining the two guests. The rest of the room is rather cozy... once you get past the non-typical geometry. A pair of well stuffed chairs sat on either side of a small stand where a magical touch lamp rests with a well kept fireplace directly across the room from them. A short stool rested beside the closest chair, where a book rests lazily. They walked over and take his invitation to heart as they settle down on the chairs.

They sit there for a while in silence. It's not the empty kind of silence that rings, just the silence of ponies doing something without the need for words. They looked around for a bit with the dull curiosity of being someplace new before Spike got bored and decided to go visit with the fish. Twilight eventually looked to the lazy book and noticed that it's the book that is overdue. Smiling, she levitated it to her lap and began to gently leaf through it.

“Hey little guy? What's your name?” Spike says as he stood on his tiptoes with his tail providing support to better look at his aquatic friend. “AAAUGH!!!!”

“What! What is it Spike?!” Twilight half yelled, slightly panicked.

“There's... There's another note.” He said as though stunned.

“Oh... Then why'd you scream like that?” She replied grumpily.

“Because it wasn't there a second ago.” He said a little breathlessly.

“What? That's not possible. The records Mayor Mare has say that Never There's a earth pony. He can't do magic. Did you just miss it and startle yourself when you accidentally breathed on it?” She said as she thought of some logical reason.

“No! I didn't scare myself, Twilight... It was suddenly leaning against the fishbowl facing me...” He replied looking a little scared now.

“Well? What does this 'magical' note say?” She said sardonically.

“'His name is Blubs.'” Spike quoted.

“What?” Twilight said in sheer confusion.

“'His name is Blubs.'” Spike repeated. “Maybe it's the fishes name?”

They turn as one to look at the fishbowl again. They don't blink. That don't breathe. They wait. Then another note appeared, leaning against the fishbowl as though it was there the whole time. Spike reached a trembling claw to grab the note. He read it, looked to Twilight and nodded very slowly. Shock ran through Twilight as though she had been struck by lightning.

“How is this possible?” She said breathlessly. “This can't be possible. How are you able to do this?!” She said addressing the fishbowl as though it holds the answers to the insane questions running, skipping and holding hooves merrily through her unbelieving mind. Another note popped into existence just like the others. She grabbed it in her magic to bring it over to her before Spike could get to it first. She read the simple note on a scrap of ordinary parchment. She looked up to Spike, her eyes as wide as they could go and her pupils dilated.

“What?” Spike said, a tremor of fear lacing his voice. A moment later he spoke up again with urgency, fear and the barest trace of unshed tears making his voice heavy with emotion. “Come on Twilight! You're scaring me! What does it say?!”

Instead of responding, she floated the note back to Spike who fearfully looked at it. It's not what he was expecting at all. Five words. Five simple words. But those five simple words terrify those two so badly they forgot everything and just run straight out and back to Golden Oaks, screaming the entire way before they stop. As the spontaneous overreactions of the towns two book keepers was either nothing to worry about or warning to bunker down. The citizens of Ponyville who saw the pair either sighed and went back home to their superbly reinforced basements built to withstand magnitude eight point five earthquakes and most any form of extreme weather, or simply ignored them to go about their business before they too go to their equally superb basements. Just in case.

The only pony in town who knew exactly what was going on just sighs as he looked out the door his guests had just hastily left through before shutting it quietly. He looked to his right and tapped the fishbowl twice, causing its sole occupant to come out from hiding and shook in a measured amount of fish flakes. He watched for a couple moments as Blubs happily ate his fill of the sparse flurry of flakes before he went about tidying up his living room. Folding the saddlebags Twilight had left behind, placing them on the side stool before putting the borrowed book on top of that. He noticed the bowl of cookies with a smile and popped one in his mouth before he turned to pick up a scrap of parchment lying on the floor. A scrap of parchment that read: Because I am Never There.

Author's Note

Just something I thought up on a whim. I may continue it sooner or later depending on how busy I am :3

Also, did you get the joke? I'd point it out but I want you to see what I did there on your own... :D