Monkey See, DraconEquess do. A Hands Omake

by Rift120

Rating: teen
Tags: Discord, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 24010

What If Andrew had been in ponyville when Discord first broke free?

Andrew's life in ponyville is crazy enough as it is. But what if he had been there during the events of 'Return of Harmony'. Well thanks to Discords Fantasy Island Simulator Andrew, The Girls, and Discord himself are about to find out. And his capability against the Spirit of Chaos may surprise them all.

An omake story for Andrew J. Talon's "Hands" fanfic. Posted with his blessing.

Read Hands here http://www.fimfiction.net/story/14407/Hands

Published 2013-10-12 12:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2014-03-08 01:47:14 UTC

Part 1

The Afternoon sun shone down on the field as Discord flew in and tinkered with his Simulator. He glanced up as Andrew and the Girls approached. Smiling warmly at Fluttershy he let out a self-satisfied chuckle and commented.

“You know I really do think this fantasy island thing is going to work rather well for me. I get some chaos, life lessons, tormenting the human for free, and enjoy some laughs.”

Andrew blinked and then frowned. “ Wait what was that last one?”

“ Life Lessons?”

“ Cute... real... cute.”

Andrew Scowled at the Dracoequine, who merely looked back in faux innocence. Before he could continue though, Rarity interrupted with a toss of her mane

“Hmmm.. speaking of Discord Tormenting, I did have one odd thought that occurred to me the other day while I was designing a lovely gown for Colgate's dental conference.”

Andrew glanced quizzically at her. “Why would she need a gown for... No... never mind. I'm sure I will be happier not knowing.”

Rarity shot him a bemused smile before continuing on. “anyways, Discord my dear. We all know Andrew appeared in Equestria just about the time we defeated you the first time.”

Discord sniffed haughtily

“ I was robbed.... I should have totally won that match you know.”

Andrew smirked and replied in a sing song tone “ But you didn't and ‘tasted the rainbow’ instead.... Why I… OW!!! HEY!”

He glared out from under the shards of clay and dirt from the potted plant that had just descended on his head with no warning. As he glared Discord whistled innocently.

“Ahem, If you two don't mind, Rarity looks like she wants to finish.”

Rarity quickly seized the momentary silence Rainbow Dash’s comment created to finish up the thought she had been trying to lay out for everyone.

“Right. Anyway I wondered what if Andrew had arrived a few months earlier and was around during your reign of ... well chaos?”

For a moment Discord stood in confusion before letting a thoughtful look cross his face while he pondered the question. During that silence Twilight stepped forward to respond.

“ Honestly Rarity I don't think it would have changed too many things.... Andrew is wonderful and all, but he doesn't have any magic or skills that would be effective against Discord.”

Andrew raised his eyebrow, and then dryly replied.

“ Really? And just which of the two of us was it whose plans were not anticipated and countered by the chaos master over there while Fluttershy was reforming him?”

Twilight blushed as she recalled the results of Andrew running around ponyville scheming while she thought he had been safe at Zecora’s during Discords reformation. Before she could answer though Applejack interrupted

“He has a point hun... even if he did rope mah sistah and her friends into his chain of hair brained schemes to deal with Discord, that is if Fluttershy had failed to reform him!”

Andrew huffed and crossed his arms in annoyance as Applejack glared at him. Just before he could open his mouth to reply in defense of his ‘schemes’, Discord interrupted by clearing his throat.

“As fascinating as watching Andrew put his foot in his mouth would be. I must admit that Rarity has presented a unique challenge of chaotic conundrums in her what if. Plus I get to directly mess with Andrew at my peek anything goes! And not get in trouble for it! The perfect afternoon!”

Andrew Blankly stared at Discord, before replyin a incredulous voice. “And what happens to me in the OTHER sims don't count for that?”

“Well no, not technically. That's only indirect meddling! This would be directly messing with you. See the difference?”

Andrew raised a hand to protest, before shaking his head and sighing. He then sat down on the grass with the rest of the girls in front of the large screen Discord had formed his simulator into while they had been chatting. He waved his arm magnanimously

“Well since i can't really stop you, carry on. Hopefully this will be somewhat amusing.”

The simulator purred as an image appeared on it. Quickly focusing on the location of Zecora's hut, with Andrew and Zecora entering the picture pushing a large cart full of odds and ends.

*inside the sim*

Andrew groaned as he set his cart down and wiped his forehead free of sweat.

“ Phew... Thanks Zecora for keeping me company. Nothing like an old fashioned dig to cheer a man up.”

Zecora smiled.

“Uncovering the riddles of the past is certainly time well spent.
However, wouldn't asking the Princesses have been more efficient?"

Andrew chuckled from where he was carefully examining the artifacts they had found for damage on the trek to the hut.

“Well yeah. I Suppose I could have had Spike send a request to Celestia, but I'm sure they are far too busy to answer about how life in Equestria was back when. Besides ,the open spaces of a dig, the joy of uncovering a new find, and the puzzle of figuring out the pieces of the past on your own are a reward by themselves.

Really helps a guy get his head on straight and figure out where he is going in life you know? Especially given where I am...”

A sudden smile flashed across Zecora’s face as she turned towards Andrew.

“ Ah, your reason to explore the castle suddenly becomes clear!
You were perhaps figuring out your feelings for some mare you hold dear?”

Andrew blushed as he tried to defend himself.

“ HEY! I was doing serious research! I Certainly wasn't digging around so I could have some time alone to to figure out things! Certainly not about Twilight and Fluttershy!"

Andrew paused and then hung his head as Zecora's smirk widened.

“... And you didn't mention any ponies specifically did you...”

“ Correct you are, though your thoughts not far.
From the mare you adore, yet these feelings you abhor?”

“ I’m not exactly used to having romantic feelings for beings who look like livestock back on my world.” Andrew Mumbled.

Zecora walked over to Andrew and laid a comforting hoof onto his back as she responded.

“ Yet beings we are, not beasts.
Would you not consider it, at least?
Tis lonely to live without love,
and this situation your people did not conceive of.”

Andrew sadly chuckled. “Well, Not exactly... But most of them are people who dress up in furry costumes at cons...”

Zecora opened her mouth to speak some more advice. However the pair of them stopped and turned as they are suddenly interrupted by a trio of frantic young calls coming towards them from the path to Ponyville.

A moment later the Cutie Mark crusaders came barreling into view crying out in unison.

“ ZECORA! ANDREW!!!!”

“ OH thank god! a timely interruption”

Andrew muttered under his breath, before letting out a small grunt as the three young fillies crash into his legs... Andrew’s bemused expression shifting into a deep frown as he notes how all three of them were showing signs of being extremly upset, with tears in their eyes. Sweetiebelle and Applebloom looked especially miserable and distraught.

“Girls, What's wrong?”

At his question all three of the girls begin to babble and wail at once.

“:....PONYVILLES CRAZY!”
“ ....EVERYTHING HAD GONE NUTS WHEN WE RETURNED FROM CANTERLOT”
“:.... AND WE GOT SEPARATED FROM MISS CHEERILIEE WHILE SHE AND DERPY WERE HEADING TO THE SCHOOL!”
“ SO WE DECIDED TO HEAD ON HOME...”
“ ...BUT BIG MAC WAS ACTIN LIKE WINONA!”
“: .........RARITY WAS MEAN!!!”
“ ...AND THEN PINKIE SAID SHE HATED ME MORE THAN DISCORD!”
“ ... THAN APPLEJACK WAS ACTIN’ ALL STRANGE”

The trio ended their separate rants altogether though with a single line.

“ AND THEY WERE ALL GREY!!!!!”

The Crusaders followed this up by suddenly flinging themselves around Andrews legs and crying inconsolably. As the three Wept Andrew and Zecora exchanged extremely disturbed and confused looks. After a while Andrew knelt and began gently stroked their manes to calm them down...

“Shhh... it’s okay girls... take a deep breath.... calm down... and try to explain again.... coherently please?”

It takes a few minutes but the trioeventually do calm and begin to explain again in between sniffles. After a few moment of their explanation Andrew blinks and glances at Zecora.

“ Turned grey and started acting nasty? What did someone unleash a hate plague... that's impo...."

Andrew pauses and mentally reviews everything he's encountered in Equestria since he arrived here before grimicing
“....Okay its Slightly improbable.... and WHO exactly is Discord?”

At his question the CMC pause their recollection and proceed to tell him about their visit to the Canterlot garden maze... and then Scootaloo telling how Pinkie was ranting about how she hated everyone and Discord.... While Sweetie Belle claimed that Rarity said she didn't care what Discord did so long as she left her rock Tom alone...

At the mention of Tom Andrew exchanges another bewildered look with Zecora. Before he stands up and shakes his head.

“ Right... I think the only way we're getting to the bottom of this is if we check on Ponyville ourselves...”

Zecora nods in agreement and the five of them head back up the path towards town. After a short walk they stop at the edge of the Everfree forest. Peering out towards

POnyville Andrew and Zecora both go a little bug-eyed as they observes the unnatural transformation taking place there.

“ The hell...? Okay apparently we DO have a problem.”

“ When you little ponies said Ponyville had gone screwy.
I did not expect things to be so looney....”

Andrew nods in agreement, than pauses staring downward. Quickly noting that the zone of insanity seemed to end at the border to the forest.

“Well whatever is going on doesn't seem to interact well with the Everfree... And there’s something I never thought I’d see, the day when the EVERFREE FOREST is the sane area… Hmm Twilight is probably our best bet to be able to figure things out.”

Andrew lets out a deep breath, as he comes toa decision. He turns to address Zecora and the Crusaders directly.

“ Okay! Here's the plan. I'll go check things out and try to round up some help. Since whatever this thing is doesn't seem to affect the forest, it should be safer for you all in here.... Well, Relatively speaking anyways. Zecora can you keep an eye on the Crusaders till this is straightened out?"

The girls look up at Zecora with big scared eyes, and the Zebra sighs. Then nods her head at Andrew

“ To watch over the young fillies I am more than able...
Though if my hut will survive, that is another tale.”

Andrew chuckles and exchanges a few more words with them. He pauses a moment to watch the quartet head back down the path towards Zecora's hut. After they trot out of sight he rolls his shoulders and shifts his Staff on his back to a more combat ready position

“ Alright then Shepherd lets do this. It’s just you and… a whole town of utter insanity. Well more insanity than usual that is. Hmmm.. come to think of it I may need a few more things to deal with this. Better head home to pick up some equipment. Fluttershy’s cottage is pretty close anyways, certainly easier to reach than the library. So it makes the better first stop.”

With a nod to bolster his courage Andrew cautiously edges out of the forest and enter what was once Ponyville. Quickly angling towards Fluttershy's cottage where he has been staying the past few months. His Stealthy approach proves to pay off as after a few random but minor encounters he makes it to the front door of the cottage.

Quickly entering he sets his staff down by the door and walks forward. Before suddenly stopping as he looks up and sees he is not alone.

“ ...Fluttershy? Umm Hi. You’re looking..... Grey...”

“Hmmm?” Fluttershy looked up from where a couple of otters had been cowering and let a huge sneer cross her face. “ OH LOOK! Another LOSER! No wait! It’s the lone Freak-of-a-kind!”

Andrew lets out a small exasperated Groans, as he approaches his erstwhile landpony. “ Great it IS the friggin Hate Plague!.... Now Fluttershy calm down... I need you to focus.”

Then Andrew makes his first mistake by trying to calm her down by placing a comforting hand on her fore shoulder.

*outside the sim*

The real Andrew winces as he watches his simulated self get violently slammed to the ground and berated by Grey colored Fluttershy. Finding himself uncomfortable with the scene he turns his gazes towards Rarity and Applejack.

“... So when Discord did get loose did you really have those confrontations with the crusaders?”

In response to his question Rarity blushes deeply, while Applejack tries to hide her face with her hat.

“ Please Andrew don't remind us... it was a rather painful episode.”

A bemused Rainbow Dash turned her own attention away from the sim and let loose a mischievous Chuckle. “As painful as what you did to make it up to the girls?”

Applejack let out a pained Groan and from under her hat muttered “Why'dja have to bring THAT up????”

Now even more curious Andrew turned his full focus on Rarity and raised his eyebrow questioningly. The stare off continued for a few moments until Rarity cracked.

“ Oh fine! If you must know we had to spend a whole week as their loyal assistants helping them with their 'crusading'.”

“ … And nuthin BUT Crusading that whole week.” Applejack chimed in a despairing voice recalling the week of horror, as she mentally filed it.

Andrew winced in sympathy, recalling his own designation as the Crusaders preferred adult supervision while Crusading. While Twilight added her own memory of the situation

“ I remember by the first day I had to ban them from the library till the week was over..”

”Sugarcube Corner managed to last two whole days before banning them!” Pinkie Pie idly commented, only half paying attention to the conversation as she pulled out and arranged some candy and snacks while Discord paused the Sim

“ooooh.. it took forever to get the tree sap out of Angels fur.....” Fluttershy reminisced not wanting to be left out. While Discord looked up intrigued.

“ Huh! I may have to look into those events myself when I have some free time... Sounds delightfully chaotic. I wonder if I can pick up some pointers….Those Crusaders often even surpass MY wildest dreams..”

Andrew let out a sigh. “ And on that disturbing note, let’s get back to the show. Before the master of disaster here decides he has to one up the Crusaders.”

“Spoilsport” Discord pouts before with a wave of his claw the simulation starts up again.

Author's Note

I like writing Omakes, and Andrew's Hands-verse seems to spark something in my muse. SOme of them are good enough that Andrew actually posted them on his Blog. Including Monkey See, Draconequess do. Sadly his RL has vastly cut down Andrew's writing time and urge. So only about half of the whole Omake story was posted in his blog.

Well I want it all to be seen, and lighten Andrews load a bit so maybe his Muse will bless us with more of his fics. So with his blessing I am re-posting this as a separate story, and plan to eventually include the whole shebang for your enjoyment . Who knows if this works out well I may add a few other of my Omakes in the Handsverse for your reading pleasure.

I just didn't realize I'd have to edit it out of script format......... Well hope you all enjoy part 1 until I can get around to editing part 2 to appropriate format. ugh.

Part 2

*Back in the sim*

The yelling match between Andrew and Fluttershy continued. Until finally the yellow Pegasus suddenly turned around and proceeded to buck Andrew straight out the fortunately still open door of her cottage, his body knocking down the fencepost as he collided with. A moment later he was joined by her animals being flung out as well to land sprawling around him. As he groggily sat up he watched Fluttershy stick her own head out of the doorway to glare at the lot of them.

“Holy... Fluttershy! What is wrong with you?!”

The grey pegasus sneered down at him.

“Nothing’s wrong with me, you stinking ape! I’m the new Fluttershy! And I’m feeling much, much better now that I don’t have to deal with you pathetic animals anymore!”

“What?!”

“You heard me! I never want to see any of you again! Not you! Not you! Not you! "

As she ranted she pointed a angry hoof at each of the animals. Including a utterly flabbergasted Angel. While Andrew stared on bewildered.

“And especially not you!”

Fluttershy gestured especially angry at him, practically shoving her hoof into Andrew’s face. A moment later she turned around and went back inside. Slamming the door shut behind her.

As he lay there gaping at the closed door, Andrew suddenly turns his head as a flash of light appeared in the corner of his vision. His gaze turned incredulous as he took in the being of mismatched body parts that leaned over him tsking in amusement.

“Aww... did the widdle human lose his home? Well! Don't worry monkey... I can get you a tree full of Bananas to live in! The Banana's will taste like turnips and be polka dotted... but they'll have a banana shape. So that will work right?”

Andrew let a very irritated growl.

“Discord, I presume.”

Discords smile widened as he raised an eyebrow.

“Why indeed, He is I! Is there something you want? Perhaps a nice tail to live in your future polkadot tree?”

“Yeah... now that you mention it.”

Andrew replied… while his free hand began searching behind him on the ground for something to use. His fingers quickly finding the edge of one of the fallen fence posts.

“UNDO WHAT YOU DID TO FLUTTERSHY!”

Discord just waved a hand dismissively in response.

“Oh pishposh! Utter nonsense, why would you want the old her back? She was soooo boring, always humble and blech. She's much more interesting this way you know! Is wanting a little more variety and chaos such a sin?”

Andrew blinked and forced his voice calm as he answered. While the hand behind his back got a solid grip on the fencepost.

“ Oh you want to talk about sin? Why don't we discuss.... WRATH!”

With that Andrew shot to his feet swinging with the post. However just as he brings his makeshift weapon around to strike, Discord snaps his claws. Andrew quickly finds himself struggling to maintain balance, as the post quickly changes to a medium sized cream filled éclair, while Discord hops back a step laughing. Andrew stares at the dessert in bewilderment as he regains his footing.

“The hell...?”

“Really monkey boy I thought dessert weapons was the pinks ones thing? Well... until I convinced her otherwise... I mean what can you possibly do-?

*SPLURT!*

Discord paused and slowly wiped off the filling Andrew had just squirted into his face. He also steps aside to avoid the follow up tackle, idly creating a banana peel for Andrew to slip on. Which sends him crashing to the ground with a loud grunt. The spirit of chaos looked bemusedly on while some of the filling still dripped off his face.

“ Well, I guess I did ask for that one. Still you will have to do better than that to entertain me! Catch me if you can! MEEP MEEP!”

Discord then blew a quick raspberry and started jogging off towards Ponyville.

Growling Andrew stood up and prepared to give chase. However before he could run off though he paused as he felt a sudden insistent tug on his pants leg. Glancing down he quickly spotted a very annoyed Angel Bunny yanking on one of his pants cuffs. The rabbit, upon seeing he had Andrews attention, angrily gestured back to the cottage. Allowing his gaze to rise upwards Andrew spotted several more of Fluttershys animals looking at him imploringly.

Looking back to the horizon where he spotted Discord standing and watching him, Andrew shook his head and sighed. Then straightening his shoulders turned fully towards the cottage while addressing Angel.

“For once you’re right. We can deal with him later... Let’s get our Fluttershy back first!”

In the distance Discord stared a bit nonplussed. As he watched Andrew march back into the cottage, followed by Fluttershys animals.

“Well that didn't go how I thought it would at all! What a delightfully chaotic species he is, pulling a unexpected twist like that. Maybe I should break him and see what happens... Mmmm... No no...I can’t do that. I already did the same with Dear Celestia's student already, doing it again would be… Repetitive....”

Discords tone turns scornful at the lost word, as he screws his face up in disgust at the idea of repeating himself. After a moment he cocks his head as the sounds of a loud scuffle breaking out inside the cottage reaches him. He scratched his chin in bemusement at the sound.

“ Quite the violent lad isn’t he though... hmm… Maybe I'll check in on him later, or turn him into a gummy man... Oh Whatever... right now I think that hill on the east side of ponyville needs some plaid covered licorice flavored grass! And maybe I can figure out why I went Meep meep as well. Or not, after all Chaos waits for no Dragonequess! Well unless I want it to.”

Discord then turns away and with a hum starts skipping along down the path. A moment later he vanishes from the scene in a flash of light. Fortunately just missing seeing the forms of Twilight and Applejack approaching the cottage. Forms that are both no longer grey. As the two get closer they pause and suddenly look alarmed as they hear the brawling sounds coming from inside reach a crescendo and then fall silent.

“What the hay...?”

Twilight shakes her head and starts moving quickly towards the door calling back to the confused Applejack.
“Come on! Fluttershy might be in trouble!”

Meanwhile inside the cottage, the grey colored Fluttershy snarled at Andrew as he used his body to pin her to the floor, the two face to face. Aiding him in the task was Angel Bunny and a number of other critters who were pinning her wings and tail down. As she struggled FLuttershy glared up angrily at Andrew.

“I thought I told you losers to LEAVE! I don't need you... I don't need any freeloaders... Or freaks of nature!”

Andrew, his frustration growing, yelled back at her.

“Dammit Fluttershy! This isn't you! So stop it! You know you don’t mean that! You care about all your animals, and me! Same as I care for you!”

Fluttershy scoffed.

“ Hah! As if an overweight baboon cares about anything but stuffing his face! Hey monkey boy! Maybe if you hurry you can join the rest of your race... oh that's right... they don't exist anymore... if they did anyway. Your Earth stories are probably just some widdle made up story to make you feel better for being such a FREAK!”

Andrew reeled back a bit as if hurt. Before shaking his head and rallying.

“ Oh Fluttershy you nut now concentrate! You do care about me! And your animals! And your friends! Hell, you might say you... No, you really would say you love them!”

“ What would I know or care about love?!”

Andrew groaned in exasperation, incredibly disturbed at her words. He continued trying to reach her, his tone more desperate and loud with each word.

“ You mean how you care for each and every creature that comes your way? The way you opened your home up to me, some big gangly stupid alien? How you always help your friends and loved ones? The way you inspire them to love you in turn?! Fluttershy, you-You are love!”

His emotions on high, Andrew succumbs to a sudden instinct. Moving his hands he suddenly grasps Fluttershys grey head gently and pulls it towards him. Before she can react he leans forward and proceeds to give her a deep kiss on the mouth.
As their lips lock, Fluttershy’s eyes shoot wide open. With a ‘Poomph’, the animals trying to hold her down go flying as her wings shoot straight out and her whole body goes rigid in shock. Then slowly Fluttershy's eyes close and she begins kissing Andrew back.

As she deepens the liplock a sparkling band of energy starts to shimmer and form around their lips. The wave of sparkles quickly begins to start flowing down through Fluttershy’s body. As the wave passes the former grey tone that colored her vanishes, leaving behind her normal pale yellow body and pink hair. After several moments the sparkles finishes recoloring her tail and cutie mark just as the two break lip-lock and stand there staring into each other’s eyes.

The silence is then broken as Fluttershy dreamily tries to speak as a soft blush colors her cheeks. At the same time Andrew scratches the back of his head smiling soflty as well trying ot put his own thoughts into words.

“ Oh.... Andrew... I never.... well what I mean is...”

“Well… Fluttershy… that is to say... eh-heh....”

“WOAH NELLIE! You two need a few minutes?”

As the third voice interrupts their private bubble, Andrew and Fluttershy blink in surprise. Together they turn towards the cottage door where it came from. A nuclear red blushing Twilight and a smirking highly amused Applejack. standing there in the doorway. Idly Andrew notes the coil of rope laying by Applejacks’s hooves.

After taking a second to processes all of this Fluttershy reacts appropriately.

“ EEEEPP!!!”

By Flushing red enough to match Twilight and rolling out from under Andrew. Who promptly falls flat on his face. She then quickly moves to hides behind him shyly. As Andrew wearily raises his abused face from the floor

“ Ugh. Applejack?.... Twilight? What are you both doing here?

Twilight begins to stutter through as explanation as she awkwardly kicks her hoof against the floor. Looking a bit envious as she does.

“...Ummm... I came... with a Memory.. spell... you know... to battle discords.... corruption.. and remind... Fluttershy of our friendship... but.. umm.. I Guess it doesn't need to happen.. Now... Thanks to you... and you know… what you sexily did …I MEAN lovingly did… that’s right…”

Andrew stared at her oddly as her babbling dropped into mumbles he couldn’t make out, but seemed to be making her blush even stronger. Before shaking his head and glancing at Applejack

“Right. I’m going to put your interruption into my Happy Place Denial Box. By the way do I want to know what the rope was for?”

Applejacks smirk deepened.

“ Probably not... Though if you two could still use it-“

As she trailed of meaningfully Fluttershy ‘Meeped’ again louder and somehow managed to hide more of her body behind the prone Andrew. Andrew groaned and slowly rose to his feet shaking his head with a exasperated sigh.

“ Can we PLEASE move on?! Do you have a means of fixing this crap or not? I’m kind of tired of looking at wackyland out there you know.”

As he gestured out the window at Discords playground, Twilight seemed to shake herself back together.

“Er... Y-Yes! Yes, we do! But in order to do so, we need to get close enough to each of the other girls so I can do the memory transfer spell to break Discords control!”

Andrew nods, happy that there is a actual plan of attack. As he moves forward Fluttershy gently nuzzles his hip and he smiles at her. While ignoring the death glare Angel Bunny was sending him.

“Okay then, let's go do that, right now.”

With that the Quartet leave Fluttershy’s cottage.

*Outside the simulator.*

As the image on the screen pauses, five of the mane six stare at Andrew with their jaws dropped. Discord as well joins in the stare, looking equally stunned at the turn of events they had just observer. Andrew on the other just stands there blushing bright red, yet also seeming to radiate a sense of being insufferably smug and pleased about what they had just observed.
Finally Discord broke the staring match with a comment.

“I must admit... I didn't think monkey boy had it in him... I mean that was a grade A brainwashing I did back then!”

Rarity was the next to recover as she began to fan herself with a free hoof

“Oh my....it was quite...a... stimulating.... kiss.... oh dear...”

“Phew! Stimulating ya’ll say??? I reckon it was more than that! I swear Twi, if Andrew here kisses like that... How in Equestria do you and Fluttershy manage to even go around Ponyville not in a daze every day????"

Twilight chuckled weakly in response to Applejacks question before turning aside and muttering under her breath

“Note to self. Must schedule kissing experiment to determine coltfriend's true abilities.... dammit Shepherd if you have been holding out on me....”

Scratching the back of his head, Andrew vainly tries to deflect some of the attention he is under.

“Heh... well.. .I mean... it was... obviously stressful circumstances... right .. Fluttershy? Um Fluttershy?”

Not hearing a response from his other Marefriedn, Andrew turns to see if anything is wrong. Before he can finish though he lets out a surprised yelp. As a lighting fast yellow pink hoof shoots out of seeming nowhere to grabs his collar and yank him off his feet. As she does this Fluttershy turns and GROWLS at Discord while gesturing with her other front hoof in the direction she is practically dragging Andrew towards.

“Privacy field! THAT BUSH!... NOW!”

Acting mainly by instinct to the tone Discord snaps his fingers and an opaque dome appears around one of the bush’s A dome that a wild eyed Fluttershy quickly yanks Andrew into. As his feet vanish behind the privacy screen the last thing everyone else hears is.

“BUT I JUST GOT MY PELVIS FIXED!”

Rainbow Dash blinked and then commented

“Wow, I didn't think you could get a Doppler sound effect like that at ground level…”

As noises and weak protests began to filter out of the dome Discord coughed and glanced at the other girls. Before asking uncertainly.

“err…Yes.. I suppose... this is an intermission of the sim than?”

The other girls, sporting blushes over what they are hearing just nod mutely.

Author's Note

And part 2 has been edited out of script format and put up.

Fun fact this part was actually the first part of the Omake I ever wrote up. Part 1 only came out much later after Andrew mentioned he might be interested in posting it in his blog and I figured I needed a more concrete starting point.

Speaking of which... Andrews speech to grey Fluttershy was almost entirely rewritten by Andrew (author) from my original omake. I think his works better anyway.

Those who cheat and check out Andrews blog for future parts of this omake may note I changed the ending point of this part a bit. I just felt the whole intermission scene was a more natural break point than what was in the blog... and so there you go.

Speaking of which those who have Read Hands (And if you haven't. Go read it now! ) might wonder but what about Twilight? Oh don't worry by the end of the story her part of Andrew's little relationship will happen... I mena it may not solidify until after a recent betrayal of Celestia by Luna is reveal..... oh wait that would be a spoiler for non spacebattle FIM members :P

Anyway Hope you all like it despite the sappy parts. Please comment. I like comments :D It helps motivate me through the editing... and part 3 is a bit of a doozy to edit. What with the huge different take on Rainbow Dashes purification.

Part 3

Some time later, Discord and the other girls glanced up as a very dishelved Andrew staggered into view. Followed shortly by Fluttershy who didn’t stroll so much as seem to glide out of the privacy dome without using her wings.

Applejack smirked and was the first to speak up.

“Ah must say, ah am impressed! You don’t have nearly as many injuries as ah thought you would!”

Andrew turned a tired glare upon the earth pony.

“Shut up.”

Rarity chuckled and then rasied her hoof to her face in mock astonishment.

“Oh my, Fluttershy looks very satisfied...”

Andrew’s glare quickly turned upon her

“Shut up.”

Not wanting to be left out Rainbow Dash laughed and added her two bits.

“Gonna give Twilight the same treatment later?”

“Shut up.”

Before anyone else could chime in though, Fluttershy moved back and gently nuzzled Andrew. Letting a happy and utterly content sigh escape her lips.

“That was wonderful~...”

Andrew sighed, his hand automatically reaching to stroke Fluttershy’s mane. While doing this he let his eyes roll skyward as in a slightly exasperated voice he inquired.

“ Right... Shall we continue, or do you want to continue making comments on the shenanigans going on outside the sim?”

Twilight let out a giggle

“ Please, don’t make us choose!”

Andrew’s eyes shot towards her and in dull tone observed

“Et tu Twilight?”

Twilight gave Andrew a mischievous look.

“ Well, I kind of like teasing you too... At least I’m not also in the focus of it this time.”

Rainbow Dash smirked as they all settled down while Discord started up the sim.

“Oh, give us time, we’ll do it to you too...”

With that parting promise the group turned their attention back to the main show. Watching as Twilight, Fluttershy, Andrew, and Applejack approached Rarity’s boutique chatting to each other

*inside the Sim*.

Andrew paused just outside the door and stared at what Twilight had just said.

“ Seriously? She thinks that boulder is a diamond?”

Applejack Nodded.

“A-yup. A diamond named Tom, yeah.”

Andrew snorted in amusement as he rolled his eyes.

“This I have to see...”

As he opened the door Andrew immediately had to duck, as several knitting needles flew over his head. His eyes were wide as he stared blankly at the trunk of the tree that the needles had embedded themselves in deeply, still vibrating several seconds later.

“Bah! Why are you here? To steal my Tom away from me?!”

Andrew slowly looked at the lovely white mare inside the shop. Who was glaring in rage while standing in front of a large boulder. He turned his head towards applejack, who he noted was smirking in an ‘I told you so manner’.

Andrew shook his head and took a deep breath to steady himself. As he did so a idea occurred to him, as he tried to reply nonchalantly.

“ Just... The opposite, actually... “

As he regained his composure Andrew stood back up and smiled. Before he turned to face Rarity fully he paused long enough to give a comforting and conspiratorial wink to Fluttershy. Then struck a dramatic pose as he continued his declaration.

“ I'm here to steal... Your heart!”

Rarity gasped, raising one hoof to mouth in shock.

“ Ah?! My heart?!”

Andrew smiled and moved in a over dramatic fashion, mentally wondering just how many high school drama teachers would go into apoplexy if he tried this overacting back on earth.

“Don't say you never thought about it, Rarity. My hands on your flank, my lips on yours...”

Behind him the girls stood torn between shock and trying to fight off giggles from the performance. Applejack muttering to Twilight

“Dang, if he can't lay it on thick...”

Andrew finally with a flowering overwrought pose, his hands held to his chest.

“You stole my heart first! And I'm going to steal yours now!”

Rarity shook her head, a light grey blush on her de-colored face as she responded.

“Ha! Well... If you're going to steal my affections... YOU'LL HAVE TO DEFEAT TOM FOR THEM!”

With that She telekinetically launched the giant boulder at Andrew, who let out a strangled yelp as he barely dodged out of the way. Now clutching his chest for the very real reason to make sure his heart hadn’t stopped beating. He barely managed to maintain a semi-confident voice as he tried to catch his breath.

“Haa... Haa... I-I accept!”

Getting up and he pulled his combat staff off of his back. Extending it to full length he struck a taunting pose.

“Have at thee, TOM! Thou shall not stand in the way of my prize!”

With that Andrew began swinging at the boulder with his staff, spinning around it andover all making a big show of attacking "Tom". All the while Rarity giggled and clapped her hooves with glee. As she watched Rarity failed to notice Applejack, Fluttershy, and Twilight slowly sneaking up on her, Twilights horn glowing with the memory spell. She was too busy being utterly enraptured at the spectacle of the ‘battle’ before her, a greedy grin crossing her face.

“ Oh my! Two men, dueling for my affections! All for me! Mine mine mine mine-!”

Just as Andrew struck particularly loud blow before rolling away, Fluttershy and Applejack pounced. The startled Rarity barely had time to let out a small squeak of surprise before Twilight stuck her horn onto her forehead, unleashing the spell. Andrew stopped his roll and slowly stood, wheezing for breath as he leaned on his staff. He watched as the spell took effect and Rarity’s skin and mane regained their normal color.

After a moment Rarity blinked and looked around before scowling. She quickly grabbed ‘Tom’ and threw the boulder out the open door of the boutique, before turning a warning glare upon the rest of them

“ ... We will never speak of this again...”

Andrew nodded as he straightened from his exhausted posture.

“Works for me... I think I was starting to lose...”

As the other three girls giggled at his comment, Rarity blushed and gave Andrew a soft smile.

“ Though... Thank you so much, darling, for your efforts.”

Andrew chuckled and shrugged

“Eh, save the girl, beat the bad guy, it's what I'm good at.”

Fluttershy stopped her giggling to just Smiles warmly as she strode up and nuzzled Andrew affectionately. A slightly naughty tone entering her voice as she commented.

“ Mmm... Yes it is...”

Rarity blinked as she noted Twilight turning bright red. Then seemed to examine the two closely as Fluttershy seemed to purr while she nuzzled against Andrew. Her ears twitched as she sensed news that she needed to know more about.

“ Oho? Is he now?”

Twilight meeped her blush deepening, while Fluttershy seemed be torn between continuing her nuzzling or hiding from Rarity’s attention. This of course only fueled her curiosity and rarity stepped forward to press the issue. Only to stop as felt Applejacks hoof on her shoulder. Turning she saw the earth pony roll her eyes in exasperation.

“Oi, gossip later, save the world now.”

Rarity sighed and let up on her investigation.

“ Right, right... I suppose that does take precedence. So what is our next plan?”

Andrew scratched his chin, his free hand rubbing Fluttershy’s neck, none notice Twilight seeming to focus on said hand a wistful look on her face.

“I think Scootaloo mentioned that she met Pinkie on the bridge that lead to the Froggy bottom Bog pathway. “

Rarity nodded.

“Right then let us go find her next. The sooner we get this done, the sooner you can tell me ALL the details Fluttershy….ooooh! We can make a SPA DATE OF IT!”

Andrew just shook his head as Rarity took the lead, the others following them. Fluttershy flushing. Not noticing Twilight remaining behind for a second staring at his retreating back lost in a private daydream. Before shaking her head and trotting after them to catch up

*outside the sim*

Discord stroked his chin and then tapped Andrew on the shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask, but whatever happened to old Tom anyways?”

“Oh he’s being used to block the entrance to the Mirror Pool after the clone incident…”

Discord looked blankly at Andrew for a moment.

“Mirror pool? Clone Incident?”

“Would you two be quiet??!!! Some of us are trying ot watch this!”

Andrew rolled his eyes as Rainbow hushed the both of them. Standing up he gestured for Discord to follow him a bit away from the simulator screen. Once there, he proceeded to explain what happened when Pinkie wanted to be in two places at once. Partway through the explanation Discord raised a eyebrow and let loose a chuckle.

“A plethora of Pinkie Pies running amuck around Ponyville? And I missed it being stuck in stone in Canterlot. Shoot.”

Andrew shrugged and then shuddered as a memory struck him.

“Things didn’t really get bad until that one group of pinkie clones found a printed copy of Landsmen’s ‘nobody dies’ and decided the Ree were perfect role models.”

Discords eyes widened in surprised as his whole body suddenly shuddered. Which was kind of disconcerting as each limb took turns at random to go through the shudder instead of all at once.

“I have no idea what you are talking about or what the Ree are, yet I am finding myself feeling terror beyond anything the elements of Harmony ever produced in me… by several orders of a magnitude.”

Andrew just nodded sagely.

“Don’t worry. That is a PERFECTLY normal reaction… The things the Ree-Pinkie clones did…. “

“Heee~ey!”

At the sudden interruption both Andrew and Discord let out twin girlish shrieks of terror, leaping into the air. As he landed Andrew finding himself holding Discord Scooby doo style. Both of them craning their heads to see a giggling Pinkie.

“What are you two guys doing? Play time is over, we’re almost to the part where we cure Rainbow Dash!”

Andrew blinked than scowled.

“Nuts I missed your purification? I thought it would take longer for me and the girls to find you. Think we can rewind that bit?”

Pinkies eyes widened and she suddenly shook her head.

“Oh no we can’t do that!”

“why not? My simulator does have the full rewind, playback, and fast-forward features you know.”

Pinkie smiled.

“Oh that’s because the focus on your conversation here is being used as a segway. Since the author has no idea how to write up me being de-grayed and all. Focusing on you two covers for him.”

Andrew and Discord stare at Pinkie in incomprehension.

“Why are you looking so confused? It’s not like this is going to be the only time he does it!”

Pinkie suddenly turned her head to the side seeming to stare into nothing. Then started giggling even harder.

“And now he’s waving his arms at the screen yelling at me to stop breaking the fourth wall and revealing plot points and writing techniques. You know authors are SOOO funny when they do that!”

Andrew turned and looked blankly at Discord. Discord looked blankly at Andrew. The two stared at each other for a few seconds. Then Andrew let out a deep breath and turned back to Pinkie.

“How about we just utterly forget what you just told us. For the sake of our sanity, and me and Discord will join you girls back at the sim in a second.”

“Okey-Dokey-Loki!”

As Pinkie Pie trotted back to the girls and the simulator viewing, Andrew turned a questioning glance towards Discord. Who assumed a defensive posture as the two followed Pinkie’s path

“Hey don’t look at me! I may be the spirit of Chaos and all, but even I can’t come up with something crazy like that. It’s all natural for the pink one I tell you!”

Andrew rolled his eyes as he resumed his seat between Twilight and Fluttershy.

“Right. Anyways where are we?”

“Oh we just spotted Rainbow on her Fake Cloudsdale, and Twi is about to try and convince her to come down.”

*inside the sim*

Andrew and the girls stared up at the grey Rainbow Dash, who seemed utterly unconcerned at the happenings on the ground below. Frustrated Twilight tried to reach her Pegasus friend.

“Rainbow Dash! We don’t have time for this! We need your help to defeat Discord with your Element! LOYALTY!”

Rainbow snorted as she flipped over to stare down at them. She waved one free hoof dismissively.

“ Loyalty Schmaulty! Have you guys seen POnyville? It’s a DISASTER! I'm staying up here in Cloudsdale where everything is AWESOME!”

Andrew shook his head as he muttered under his breath.

“I knew it wouldn't be that easy.... although if Discord only flipped their element attribute...hmmmm....”

As a thoughtful look crossed his face, nearby Rarity gestured up at the small Cloud Rainbow was resting on.

“How in Equestria can she think that tiny patch of clouds is Cloudsdale?”

Applejack, unable to resist, answered the rhetorical question.

“The same way he got you to think Tom was a bonafide Diamond and fiancée?”

Rarity glared at the ground and ground out.

“I thought we agreed never to speak of that again?”

Before Applejack could continue her playful teasing, Twilight interrupted drawing both their attention.

“Never mind girls... it looks like it’s time for plan B!”

Just as she turned to lead the rest away towards ‘plan B’, Andrew coughed.

“Wait a minute Twilight... I think I might have a better idea. You girls head over there a minute and wait for the right moment.”

Andrew watched as the girls moved towards the small grove of bushes and trees he had gestured at. Pausing to glance at him questioningly, Andrew smiled at them and gestured that they hide themselves. Once he was sure they were mostly hidden from view he turned back around, and cupped his hands to his mouth as he gazed up at Rainbow’s cloud.

“HEY RAINBOW DASH!”

Rainbow Dash groaned, as she lifted her head and glared downward at Andrew.

“ Oh what now? I wanted to take a NAP!”

Andrew chuckled and waved his hand in sympathy.

“I know I know, but before you do could you come down here for a moment, I have something to tell you.”

Rainbow snorted, burying her head back into the cloud as she shot back.

“ Shyeah right... so you can grab me? Do you think I am that dumb? Now go away! It’s time for a Rainbow flash power nap!”

Andrew shrugged and started to turn, hands in his pocket. Acting like he was walking away, then pausing and spoke as if conceding defeat.

“Okay.. I suppose if you don't WANT to hear what Soarin and Spitfire and the Wonderbolts wanted me to tell you....”

Rainbow Dash’s ears pricked and her head shot up out of the cloud to glare down at Andrews back.

“THE WONDERBOLTS???!! Your Bluffing! Why would they tell you a message for ME???”

Unseen by Rainbow, Andrew shot a triumphant smirk towards where Twilight and the rest were hiding. Then turned back around to face Rainbow, a serious look covering his face.

“Well you know how Discord is messing things up and all... they had to hurry and couldn't find you in time.. so they left a message with me...about the best flier in Equestria joining them....”

Rainbow cocked her head and thought and then hesitantly replied.

“Well that is true. I am the best.... But I told you I'm staying here where it’s awesome! Not fighting Discord!”

Andrew shook his head and let loose a chuckle.

“Oh no, you misunderstand me Rainbow... They weren't going to do that. They already knew that it’s far too late for Ponyville. No they told me they were going to set up a new all pegasus nation in the clouds. In a secret location of course, so Discord couldn't find them... An all Wonderbolt nation....”

Andrew let his speech trail off on that tempting bit of bait. His grin widened as he saw Rainbow Dash’s cloud floats a little closer to the ground. Rainbow herself seemingly uncertain as she replied back.

“ That does sound kind of neat..... I don't know.... what were they going to call it?”

“Umm.. uhhh..... Wonderbolt-topia! Yeah that's right.... That’s exactly what Soarin told me it was going to be called. Yessiree.”

Andrew grinned shakily as he gave his improvised answer to the unexpected question. A slight sheen of sweat crossing his brow as Rainbow rubbed her chin with one hoof.

Meanwhile over where the girls were hiding, Twilight let out a small groan as she facehoofed. Muttering in a low tone.

“Wonderboltopia? He cannot possibly think that Rainbow Dash is going to buy that...”

Just as she finished Rainbow sat up a bit taller on her cloud a excited look crossing her grey face.

“Wonderboltopia? Hey that does sound much cooler than the name Cloudsdale! “

Rainbow suddenly leaned forward looking suspicious again.

“But why do I have to come down to you to hear about it? I can talk to you perfectly fine up here!”

Andrew smirked, as he mentally pictured a fishing rod that he slowly reeled in. Regaining his composure he answered, as he idly rubbed his fingers on his jacket.

“Well it is a secret location after all. Complete with a secret password to get in... If I just shouted it out Discord might here. Or worse some non-awesome Pegasus might join Wonderboltopia instead. Of course if you want a lesser flier in the Wonderbolts…”

As he let the implications sink in, Rainbow snorted in derision. Her cloud now hovering just out of Andrew’s reach.

“ DON'T BE RIDICULOUS!! But I still don't see why I need to come down there... I’m close enough as it is!”

Andrew just shrugged and made as if to leave again. Calling over his shoulder as he began to walk away.

“ Okay, it’s your choice after all... I suppose I can find some other Pegasus to tell about Wonderboltopia and the password to get in. Hmm I wonder what Derpy is doing, her mail route might impress Soarin....”

Hearing Rainbows shriek of outrage at what he was pretending to be musing over, Andrew had to mentally command himself not to laugh

“WHAT?!! I'm ten, no, ten thousand times the flier that DERPY IS! ANDREW YOU STAY RIGHT THERE! I'm coming down!”

Unseen by both of them in the bushes Pinkie reached over to close Twilight's jaw. Which had nearly dropped to the ground in shock. While Rarity just shook her head and commented

“ I can't believe that worked.”

“Shhh.. Andrew may have the rope on the steer sugarcube, but he hasn’t hogtied her yet”

Applejack hissed in a low tone. The five mares watching as Andrew wiped his triumphant smirk off his face while turning to face Rainbow Dash as she glided to the ground a few paces away from Andrew and demanded

“Okay I’m here... Now spill!”

Andrew made an exaggerated pantomime of looking around, then crooked his finger towards Rainbow. Beckoning her closer as he replied

“ Oh come on Dashie we have to keep it a secret you know... Just come a little closer so I can whisper it into your ear. “

Rainbow cautiously began to creep closer to Andrew, while grumbling out loud.

“I swear if this is some weird human mating ritual...”

Andrew’s smile widened, as he continued speaking. His tone and volume getting lower with each word, encouraging Rainbow to inch closer so she could hear better.

“Oh trust me.. I just needed to keep everything a secret... until.... NOW!”

Shouting the last word, Andrew suddenly leapt up and onto the startled Rainbow Dash’s back. Before she could recover He quickly bearhugged her, interlocking his hands under her belly while using his arms to pin her wings to the side. As she realized what was going on Dash let out a yelp and started bucking her body trying to dislodge him. All while yelling and ranting at the top of her lungs.

“I WAS RIGHT! IT WAS A HUMAN MATING RITUAL! YOU PERV! LET GO! GET OFF!”

Andrew grunted as Rainbow’s bucking shook his whole body. His head repeatedly slamming into Dash’s back painfully.

“ Wo-aahhh..... OW OW OW! T-t-th-i-i-s.... Wa-s-s-n't..... o-one.... of my... B-b-b-brighter IDEAS!... OW OUCH! ANY TIME GIRLS! BEFORE SHE PULVERIZES ME!”

“WE'RE A-COMIN ANDREW!!”

Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity Charged out of the bushes towards the interlocked pair, each bearing several ropes in their mouths. With a synchronized cry the trio leapt on top of Andrew and Rainbow, a large dust cloud forming as they scuffled and fought. After a few minutes of various heads, hoofs, and feet popping out of the cloud at random, the scuffle took on a different tone. Slowly Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie backed out of the cloud at different points. Each holding a strand of rope in their mouths that lead back into the cloud.

As they pulled their respective ropes tight, the cloud began to settle. As the dust slowly cleared Andrews shadow head could just be made out appearing to look around in a limited manner. Than his aggrieved voice rang out across the clearing.

“This..... Isn't really much of an improvement....”

The last of the dust blew away to reveal Rainbow struggling in the secure grip of the ropes bound across her body in odd patterns across her body. A pattern that pinned one of her wings down completely while leaving the, leaving the other free... And also incidentally securely tied Andrew to her as well. With his arms in a rather compromising positions as he lay trapped across her back... Rainbow snorted in outrage

“LET ME GO! I DON'T NEED YOU GUYS! OR THIS PERV!”

Andrew groaned as he hung his head as much as he could.

“This isn't exactly my idea of a picnic for me!”

He then turned to settle a glare on each of the three girls holding him and Dash captive via the ropes as he continued.

“And which one of you three has been learning Shibari anyway?”

Pinkie suddenly hopped up and down excitedly. Almost losing the grip on her rope as she answered.

“OOOH! ME! ME! IT LOOKED FUN SO I CHECKED IT OUT OF THE LIBRARY THE OTHER DAY!!”

Andrew blinked in surprise.

“ Huh... I would have thought Rarity as my first guess...”

The elegant white mare looked affronted as she mumbled around her rope.

“And what is that supposed to mean Exactly?”

Before Andrew could respond, and likely shove his foot deeper into his mouth, one of his hands trapped along Dash's flank twitched. Rainbow’s eyes suddenly widened as her free wing straightened to full extension and she let out a low moan of pleasure. After a second her free wing suddenly curled around and whapped Andrew upside the head.

“OW! HEY! This isn't MY idea!”

Rainbow ignored Andrews cry. As his attempts to struggle caused his hands to twitch some more, sending a look of pleasure and calculation crossing over the pegasus’s face.

“Well... Maybe I can.... Ooooh... Find a use for the perv after all.... And get one over Fluttershy in the process!”
Andrew groaned out loud in embarrassment.

“Whoo boy... And this is getting more awkward by the moment.... Twilight! WHERE ARE YOU? Any time now would be just grand.... what are you waiting for? An invita...... “

Andrew began to twist his head around towards the bushes trying to spot the unicorn. His complaints trialing off as he did, while his eyes widened in disbelief at what he saw.

“Are you and Fluttershy TAKING NOTES?!”

Both Twilight and Fluttershy sharply looked up from what they were doing and flushed. Quickly the two tried to hide their respective notebooks behind themselves. Twilights blush going deeper as she tried to justify herself.

“Umm... Important research?...”

Fluttershy on the other hand seemed to gather some confidence to herself and let a small naughty smile cross her face as she responded.

“Umm... Yes... Yes I was. For later Andrew”

Andrew let out an embarrassed groans as Fluttershy winked at him, before hanging his head in defeat. Which caused his hands to twitch yet again, releasing another pleased moan from Dash.

“You know you can always ditch the animal lover for someone radical like me perv! I'll give you a 20% more awesome ride! Guaranteed!”

Andrew looked up shooting a glare at Twilight.

“ ...Twilight... memory spell... NOW!”

Twilight reluctantly began to trot forward.

“Alright, alright, keep your hooves on.”

Andrew growled in annoyance.

“ I don’t have hooves!”

As Twilight approached closer with her horn glowing, Rainbow renewed her attempts to escape the ropes binding her. But the struggle was in vain. Twilight easily tapped Rainbow’s forehead with her glowing form, and as the spell hit her Rainbow found herself freezing in place. Slowly the sparkle of her normal color began to return down her body, erasing Discords grey corruption.

As the color began to return, the girls dropped the ropes in their mouth. With Pinkie giving her own strand a fancy little tug that somehow caused the knots binding Rainbow (and Andrew as well) to flow loose and fall to the ground. Applejack whistled impressed at the feat, as the last rope fell from Rainbow’s body just as her cutie mark flashed back into color.
Woozily Rainbow shook her head and looked around.

“Wha... What? What’s going on.. Wait... Why is Andrew on top of me... And his hands are...!!!!

Rainbow let out a loud outraged gasp

“ YOU PERVERT!”

“Oh crap!”

With that Rainbow Dash gave a mighty buck. Andrew no longer securely griping her or even prepared for her reaction, found himself launched at a violent trajectory into the air. As she followed his path through the air Fluttershy let out a horrified gasp.

“ OH NO! ANDREW WATCH OUT FOR THAT...”
*WHAM!*
“ ...Tree...”

Fluttershy lamely trailed off as she and Twilight moved towards him. Andrew slowly slid down the trunk of the tree and then collapsed onto his back. Groaning as he lay upon the ground.

“Just who I always wanted to imitate....George of the jungle.... Owww..”.

As she trotted up Twilight called out

“Umm... I can kiss it and make it all better? “

Approaching while supporting the still woozy Rainbow, Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“ Shouldn't that be Fluttershy's job sugarcube?”

Twilight froze and her whole body flushed red.

“Fluttershy! Right... Fluttershy should kiss it and make it better... did I say me?”

Rainbow woozily stared at Twilight, while Fluttershy helped Andrew to his feet.

“ Hey, what's going on with you three now....!!! WAIT!”

Suddenly Dash stiffened as she shook off the last of the cobwebs cluttering her mind after the spell. Then she immediately began dashing around to every pony near her. Shooting out rapid fire questions.

“ How's Ponyville? WHERE ARE THE ELEMENTS??? DID WE STOP DISCORD????”

Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Applejack all laughed happily. As one after another they dog piled a surprised Rainbow

“ YEAH!”
“SHE'S BACK!”
“ABOUT TIME!”

Twilight and Fluttershy quickly trotted over to join the group hug. With Andrew following shortly behind them rubbing his sore head, but still smiling widely. However all of them stopped what they were doing in order to turn and stare as a quartet of super long legged bunnies did a tango past them.

Twilight Chuckled weakly

“ Maybe... It’s a little early to do the group hug?”

Andrew gave Twilight a look.

“Ya think? Okay... we got the Team back together and in their right minds. Sooo Twi, break out the elements and we can go teach Discord a lesson!”

Twilight smiled enthusiastically for a moment

“ RIGHT! The Elements... The elements......”

Andrew stared at her as she trailed off sheepishly, then slowly buried his face into his hands.

“... Don't tell me...”

“ Eheh.... In all the rush to save our friendship... I um... Sort of left them back at the... library.”

“I asked you not to tell me that.”

Andrew sighed. He then glanced in the direction of Ponyville Library from the field where they all stood. A glance that went smack dab through the thickest areas of Chaos that the town had turned into. He sighed again.

“Of course it would be that way.”

Andrew looked to his side and suddenly clapped his hands.

“Okay, new plan. We need to regroup and figure out how to get to the Elements, WITHOUT tipping off Discord we've broken his spell on you girls.”

Rarity let out a gasp as her eyes widened in realization

“That's right! Until we can use the elements he can just mess up our minds again!”

Pinkie frowned as her mane deflated slightly.

“But where can we go that Discord can't find us?”

Andrew scratched his chin for second, before smiling as a plan occurred to him.

“I have an idea. When this mess started I was over at Zecora's. On my way back to Ponyville it seemed like Discords little playzone ended at the Everfree forest, right at the border. Whatever keeps Equestrian order magic from affecting that area seems to do the same for Discords abilities as well. So if we move to the outskirts of the Everfree we should be safe from in the short term, and be able to come up with a plan safely. Part of the forest isn’t too far from here anyway.”

Twilight nodded eagerly

“It’s as good a plan as any.... Let’s go!”

With that Andrew and the Mane 6 starting running off towards the Everfree. As they jogged, Rainbow moved up to match speed with Andrew in the back of the group. Looking aside she fidgeted for a few seconds. Then asked him the question that was bothering her.

“ By the way Andrew.... About that Wonderbolttopia....”

Andrew gave her a flat look.

“Rainbow... do I LOOK like Applejack? I ain't the element of Honesty., I was lying the whole time”

Rainbow Dash scowled.

“ REALLY? … Awwwww.....”

As they reached the edge of the forest, dissapering into the trees Andrew rolled his eyes skywards.

“Geez...”

Author's Note

So...much...editing...and formatting..... Well part 3 is done.

Credit must be given where it is due. The entire opening through the end of the Rarity Purification scene is 100% written up by Andrew (with some minor editing by me to move it out of script format of course). Over on Spacebattles we were discussing how Andrew might help de-gray Rarity, someone mentioned challangeing Tom to a duel and Andrew RAN for it.

The whole discussion segway is something new, since looking back at the omake it does skip to suddenly to Rainbow Dash's bit suddenly. If you don't get the Ree joke, go look up Nobody Dies Gregg Landsman's infamous NGE fanfic. Trust me the Pinkie clone imitating them is a terrifying thought.

As to Rainbow's scene. Well We know Discord mainly flipped the personality trait that aligned to each of the Mane 6's Elements. However Rainbow's Wonderbolt obsession has little to do with Loyalty directly. So Andrew figured she was still Wonderbolt crazy, and if anything DIscords brainwashing would make her MORE susceptible to ploys playing upon that weakness. Since she would no longer care about leaving her friends or Ponyville hanging to pursue her dream.

Anyways next up a little calm exposition before the storm. please leave comments... or discuss what you think. I welcome it! The more comments the happier I am!

Part 4

*inside the Sim*

. About an hour passed as Andrew and the girls worked their way around the edge of the Everfree forest, trying to find a good entry point into the chaotic Ponyville. All while the mane 6 filled in Andrew on what had been happening in Canterlot while he had been doing his dig in the ruins of the princesses castle.

Finally they stopped to catch their breath just below a small hill that positioned them so they could just see the tip of Rarity’s boutique. Crouching down Andrew and the girls were quick to note where the Everfree forest ended. Primarily because the normal trees and grass abruptly changed into plaid pattern marking a clear border between the two areas.

Rainbow Dash leaned down and sniffed, before scrunching up her nose at the strong licorice smell emanating from the altered greenery

“ Ugh! and black licorice at that... I tell ya Discord has no taste....”

Rarity sniffed as she brushed back her mane.

“Rainbow dear, Discords horrid taste in candy grass is HARDLY the main trouble we are facing right now.”

Twilight nodded in agreement.

“Yes we need to focus. The good news is Discord doesn't seem to be aware We've broken his spell on everypony.”

Andrew shook his head.

“He wouldn't. From what I gathered from my own encounter with him, as well as your own descriptions of what he did in Canterlot, I’d say Discords defining trait is that he is incredibly arrogant.”

Andrew paused as they all watched several buffalo in Tutus prance across a meadow by the pathway from the Everfree to Ponyville road. A performance that was being ob served by several frogs with wings, happily croaking their approval while they sipped on some cotton candy clouds.

Andrew winced and glanced back at the girls ruefully
.
“Although to be fair as a reality warper he probably does have a right to be arrogant, if he can see it coming he can neutralize pretty much anything. Heck even the idea that his spells CAN be broken by anything short of the Elements is probably inconceivable to him. Which is an advantage for us. He's not going to be looking for you girls or keeping an eye on the elements. As far as the bastard is concerned, he's won.”

Rarity pursed her mouth in thought before commenting
.
“But even if he's not looking for us Andrew darling there is still the fact that he is a Spirit of Chaos, popping up....”

Rarity fell silent as they all noticed Discord’s form appearing in the distance, just over Sweet Apple Acres. They all fell silent and crouched low on the forested hill top to avoid detection.

Discord lounged back in the air and snapped his claws. Andrew found his hand automatically shooting to cover Applejacks mouth as they watched the Apple family barn suddenly appear and flip upside down. Then the Barn doubled, and doubled again. Each copy stacking roof down onto of another until they all formed a giant inverted Eiffel Tower like structure.

Discord nodded and leaned back onto a chair that floated up out of nowhere. He began to munch on a croissant, while muttering something in between bites. Although he was too far away to be heard clearly, from the rhythm of his voice Andrew guessed he was reciting some sort of poem. The beatnik outfit he was wearing was also a fairly big clue. Just as he finished his pastry, he seemed to spot a passing flock of birds. With a grin Discord suddenly changed them all into flying squirrels, which proceeded to dive-bomb and bedevil a passing moose. Laughing in amusement Discord’s body flashed brightly and then he vanished from the surrounding area to spread mayhem elsewhere.

Several moments passed as everyone scanned the skies to ensure Discord was nowhere to be seen. Then Rarity let out a loud sigh.

“As I was saying Discord is popping up wherever the whim seems to take him.”

Andrew nodded.

“Good point. And while arrogant, Discord certainly isn't stupid. If he sees you girls together, it’s not going to take him long to realize you’re free from his spell. Just the fact you are back in color should clue him in, if nothing else.”

Pinkie suddenly bounced, pulling out several buckets of paint.

“OOOH! I know! We could paint ourselves grey again!”

Andrew stared at her, wondering for a moment if it was worth the headache of asking where Pinkie had gotten said paint from. As he decided the answer was no, Twilight put a hoof on Pinkie’s shoulder and shook her head.

“Pinkie even if we were grey, Discord would still be suspicious of us altogether if he happens to pop up while we are trying to reach the Elements. He put a lot of effort in distracting us from our friendship. No speed is likely to be our best option, get to the library as fast as we can.
”
Twilight bit her lower lip while glancing down into Ponyville towards the library. Her face showing hesitation and fear.

“But... but with no way to predict when Discord might appear... the odds. And until we have the Elements of Harmony again, what he can do to us....”

As she trailed off Twilight and the rest of the girls shuddered in fear. Frowning Andrew let his gaze cross over all his pony friends, before letting his eyes rest on Fluttershy for a moment. Then with a resigned sigh he stood up.

“Than its obvious what you all need. You need a distraction.”

The girls stared at him blankly for a moment. Then Fluttershy and Twilight's eyes both widen as they figured out what he was implying. In unison the two cried out in shock

“Andrew! NO! You Can’t!”

Andrew smiled at the girls sadly.

“Yes I can. We have to face the facts; I can't use any of the elements. Even worse in a dash for library, you all would be quicker without me slowing you down. I’m just not built for speed. The only logical thing for me to do to help is to be a distraction for Discord. Buying you girls the time you need to reach the library and the Elements.”

Rarity frowned.

“But Darling He is the spirit of Chaos! What could you possibly do to keep him occupied that long???”

Andrew scratched the back of his head uncertain for a moment

“ I'd... Um... think of something! I'm good at that!”

Applejack shook her head and placed a hoof on Andrews shoulder

“But Andrew hun.... what if Discord.... did something to you?”

Andrew turned his head taking the rest in. He winced as he caught the pleading look in Fluttershy's eyes, while missing that Twilight had the same expression on her face. For a moment he hesitated than with a deep breath he rallied his confidence and replied to Applejack.

“To tell the truth, I'm actually not worried about physical changes AJ. Discord doesn't seem to get any jollies from causing pain to the body. Heck from what you told me about what he did to Granny Smith Discord seems to go out of his way to ensure his victims don't have any physical discomfort... I mean all that dancing would be torture if eh didn’t fix her bad hip right?”

The girls step back and look at each other, clearly unconvinced. Then Rainbow steps up to present her argument against the idea.

“ But what about your MIND??? You saw what Discord did to all of us!”

Pinkie decided she had to chime in as well

“Yeah! He could have you worshiping his scaled butt! Or thinking you’re a real monkey to throw your own crap! And then you’d have to move into a mansion with a musically talented manchild who will lose you in customs while claiming historically tragic teenagers would be followers of his songs!!!”

Andrew and the rest of the girls topped to stare at Pinkie. Andrew then sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“... I should never have mentioned nature documentaries to you...and I know I never mentioned Bieber so how… no. that’s getting away from the subject of Discord screwing with my mind.... and well, that is a concern to be honest. A rather frightening one at that. “

Andrew gulped nervously and then shook his head as he visibly steeled himself before continuing.

“But no matter what he does to my hard skull. I know it won't last. Because there is something Discord hasn’t counted on to fight it...”

As he said this Twilight’s face brightens. She began to open her mouth to reassure Andrew that she would be ready with her memory spell. But before she could speak Andrew suddenly walked over and wrapped his arm around startled Fluttershy, as he continued speaking.

“ I know that whatever Discord does to my head. Fluttershy will be able to bring me out of it.... just like I broke his hold over her...”

Twilight visibly wilted at Andrews words, but no one noticed. Everyone elses attention was on Fluttershy as her eyes widened and she gasped. Quickly turned a panicked stare at Andrew while she stuttered.

“But... but... you.. I... Andrew.. I couldn't... I mean... I can't.”

Andrew gave her a reassuring squeeze.

“You can... I know you can Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy whimpered, as she stepped away from Andrew. She turned around and stared at the ground while she whispered.

“But what if I can't?.... what if.... I'm not strong enough to reach you? Like you did me?”

Andrew smiled fondly, before walking around and kneeling down to stare Fluttershy straight in the eye as he responded.

“Fluttershy... You are the strongest pony I know where it counts. If I need you, I know you will be able to reach me.”

“ But-!”

Andrew hushed her with a finger and then leaned his forehead against her as he continued.

“Look, out of all the girls here... YOU were the only one Discord couldn't corrupt with his lies. He had to brainwash you directly. I know you Fluttershy, all those months living with you. Your lovely spirit is so bright and where it counts so strong. And besides there is this…”

Andrew took his hand and reached out to caress Fluttershy's chest just above her heart.

“What's in here...what you feel and I do, between us. That's a strength and bond Discord could never destroy. Even if he were a thousand times as strong as he is. As long as that bond is there you will be able to reach me.... No matter how far he takes my mind away from the truth....”

Fluttershy stared at Andrew with her eyes shining. She clearly wanted to believe, but Andrew could still sense her doubts. He stood up and stepped backwards, his tone rising. So caught up in the moment as he tried to project his confidence to Fluttershy that Andrew didn’t pay much attention to what he was doing as he began to gesture dramatically.

“That bond between us is what makes us strong. I believe in it.... I believe in your strength Fluttershy. If I need you, you WILL be there. And you WILL be strong enough to beat Discords magic. But Fluttershy....”

Andrew smirked as if knowing some vast secret of the universe. Seeing how Fluttershy was reacting he decided to end his speech as epically as he could. Quickly assuming the most inspiringly dramatic pose he could think of to drive home the point.

“Fluttershy, don't believe in yourself. Instead... BELIEVE IN ME! BELIEVE IN THE ANDREW WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!”

Meanwhile Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity stood to the side watching starry eyed. Rarity herself was mumbling under her breath about 'how romantic' it all was.

Twilight was staring as well, but not starry eyed. Rather the expression on her face more akin to a look of rabid Jealousy. At least until she blinked suddenly and shook herself as if trying to knock a thought out of her mind. Twilight then glanced aside as her face and posture changed to as if she were feeling some great self-shame. This only lasted a minute before Twilight regained her composure and glanced back up. A minute no one else noticed, so enraptured was every other pony in Andrews speech.

None more so than Fluttershy, who gasped and strode forward, clearly drawing confidence from Andrew.

“I... I do! I do believe in you Andrew! I will reach your heart. No matter what that BIG DUMB MEANIE DOES!”

Andrew nodded, and then glanced at the rest of the girls.

“Good than we are in agreement. Just give me about ten minutes to find Discord and start distracting him. Than you girls will make a dash for the Library and Elements. After which you can rescue me. Any questions?”

Pinkie hopped up and down, waving her fore hoof wildly into the air.

“OOOH! OOOH!! ME ME! I HAVE ONE!”

Andrew sighed and rolled his eyes to the sky in a ‘of course’ expression before facing the hyper pink mare.

“... Yes Pinkie?”

“Where did you get those COOL red sunglasses???”

Andrew blinked in surprise. It took him a moment to realize that indeed everything around him did appear to have a reddish tint to it. He had been so caught up in his speech that he hadn’t even noticed it.

Slowly he Reached up and pulled the glasses from his face to examine them clearly. It didn’t even take him more than a second to identify them as a dead on copy of the infamous Kamina style sunglasses.

Andrews face scrunched up in confusion, then letting his gaze fall downward he found another clue So caught up in the dramatics earlier he hadn’t even noticed that during his posing he had accidently strode out of the Everfree and on to the plaid licorice grass field of Discords area.

Andrew stared down blankly for several moments as he twisted his foot back and forth among the candy grass. His mind was running a mile a minute as he tried to comprehend how his unexpected new sunglasses and being out of Ponyville correlated. Then he suddenly straightened as a, idea occurred to him. A crazy yet brilliant theory of the correlation. This was further emphasized by the giant light bulb that suddenly flared into existence just above his head and then faded away.

“ I... wonder....”

Andrew glanced at the glasses in his hand again. He then proceeded to put both his hands and glasses behind his back. After a moment he pulled his hands back in front of him and stared. Specifically he stared at the pair of white gloves that he was suddenly wearing, as well as the large carrot that had replaced the sunglasses. He turned his gaze outward, staring at nothing in particular, while his hand idly began to twirl the carrot around in a circle. Ever so slowly a VERY evil smile began to cross Andrews face.

“Oh yes.... I can WORK with this......”

Applejack stepped forward worriedly.

“Andrew hun... what in Equestria are you muttering about?”

Andrew waved his empty hand at her.

“Oh don't worry Applejack! I just realized something. Namely that Discord's Wacky land here.... well.. It is apparently more Space Jam than Who Framed Roger Rabbit.”

Now Twilight stepped forward looking concerned, while the others just looked confused.

“Andrew what are you talking about? Are you feeling okay?”

Andrew shook his head and let out a small chuckle.

“Don’t worry Twilight. It would take too long to explain. Let’s just say that now I know how I am going to distract Discord, and I am fairly confident I can keep him occupied for a Quite a while.”

Andrew evil grin grew wider. He stopped twirling the carrot and began to gesture with it as if it were a cigar.

“ For what he did to Fluttershy and the rest of you.... well I hope he realizes..... THIS...MEANS... WAR!”

With that declaration Andrew took a very large bite out of the carrots tip. He then turned around to face towards Ponyville. Taking one step Andrew paused and glanced over his shoulder.

“Remember give me ten minutes, then hurry to the elements girls. I know I can delay him.... still I'm not real confident that I can beat him.”

With those final words Andrew did so he put his carrot to his lips and started acting like it was a flute that he was playing. As he did so out of nowhere a drum beat started up and the instrumental melody of ‘The Girl I left Behind me' began to play. As he marched soldierly to the tune towards Ponyville and Discord, Andrew let his mind wander to one last idle thought.

“But then, if this works... I won't have to.”

Author's Note

And next part is done. Those who cheated and looked at Andrews blog may not this chapter only cuts out partway of whats written there. This was what was meant to be part 4 on its own, but due to several errors (mostly on my part) Andrew ended up posting this and part 5 together. SO now its back in its proper order.

As some of you may already guess, part 5 is going to be just a WEE bit silly.

But I'm not just pulling this out of thin air. In Return of Harmony part 2, after Twilight is corrupted we see her walking through ponyville with a raincloud over her head to signify her depression. Yet when Discord shows up in the scene he is clearly surprised by not only the cloud but also that Twilight has been corrupted. This means the rain cloud wasn't anything Discord did directly, it was how he changed the rules of the world around ponyville reacting to Twilight's mood.

Now the idea of weaponizing this would never occur to a pony (Well maybe Pinkie eventually), but human culture has explored the idea of using the rules of a cartoon reality to your advantage. As far back as the first POrky vs Dodo cartoon. Or more recently in Tiny toons or, as mentioned, Space Jam (Where it was actually a critical plot point). So Andrew was not only able to figure out that the reality was reacting to him,but he had ideas on how to control it. To some extent at least.

And that's also why his plan might work. Discord can defend against most things he can see coming, but he is far from Omniscient. The idea that someone could use the chaos of the reality against him would never cross his mind. And in his appearances its often the things he doesn't consider possible that screws him over.

Of course that assumes Andrew can keep him off balance and keep him from thinking to deeply about the situation. But worry not Andrew has a plan.....

Till next update, please comment.

Part 5

*outside the sim*

Discord stood with his arms crossed, tapping his goat leg on the ground. He glanced at the wrist of his eagle claw, utterly ignoring the watch on his lion’s paw, before looking skyward with a annoyed look on his face.

This continued until a sound attracted his attention. Glancing down the path towards Ponyville he spotted Andrew and several other ponies returning. Laden down with picnic blankets, snacks, and in Andrew’s case pulling a wagon filled with a variety of recording devices.

Discord quickly teleported over to Andrew, floating beside him as they reached the simulators viewing area. Once there he voiced his annoyance.

“Well FINALLY! It took you long enough. Was it really necessary to pause the show so long for you to get all this? I'm a busy spirit of chaos you know.”

Andrew smirked as he quickly busied himself helping Vinyl and Octavia set up several of the recording devices. In the background the rest of the girls were busy spreading out the snacks and blankets. He paused and glanced over his shoulder towards Discord.

“Me fighting you Bugs Bunny style? Oh, Yes it was necessary. This sort of show practically demands snackage and needs to be recorded. Preferably in a medium spelled to be discord tamper proof. Just to ensure its around for posterity. Or at least future blackmail opportunities.”

Discord rolled his eyes. Then spent several seconds chasing them around the meadow, before returning to Andrew as he was checking the wires on the sound system. His snout in the air as he arrogantly replied with a snort.

“Oh Really Shepherd. Like you have any chance against moi in a head to head clash. You’re a human and I’m the spirit of chaos. I don't see why you think imitating some insectoid rabbit will change things in that equation. “

Andrew let out an amused chuckle.

“You kidding? Remember when I tricked you into being Dr. Fate during that DC hero sim? THIS is going to be much, much more epically amusing.”

Discord waved his paw disbelievingly. Then glanced around as he noticed every other pony had finished setting things up.

“Fine, fine... Keep your monkey boy delusions. As long as we can continue with the show. Just don’t come crying to me when your simulated self’s plan fails utterly before my magnificence.”

Andrew shook his head bemused. settling down with a small tub of popcorn between Twilight and Fluttershy, who quickly took advantage to cuddle up against his sides. After a quick check to see that the rest of the girls and other ponies were comfortable, he waved his hand towards the simulator screen.

“You’ll see Discord… You’ll see. But for now on with the show!”

Discord nodded and the simulator started up again. The image focusing on downtown Ponyville and Discord, who stood before two familiar ponies.

*Inside the sim*

Discord tsked as he adjusted the beret on his head and spoke into a directors megaphone.

“No no no! Not enough energy! Where is the pizazz? You two are really not getting into this. Look I gave you the costumes and everything., So lets try this performance from the top, this time with FEELING.”

He snapped his fingers and a spotlight shone down out of the clear blue sky to highlight the two ponies he was talking to. Namely Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, both looking highly disgruntled in the high school cheerleader outfits they were dressed up in. Discord waved his hands again, as the duo glared pure murder at him.

“And a one... and a two... a one, two, three...!”

Suddenly a peppy tune on a piano begins to play, with several other instruments joining in shortly. Octavia and Vinyl start dancing to the beat, their bodies moving jerkily as they follow the music against their will. Then the true horror begins as they both open their mouths and unwillingly begin to sing. Octavia taking the first line, followed by Vinyl on the next.

“Oh baby, baby...”

“How was I supposed to know...”

*Outside the sim*

Everyone turned their heads from the simulated scene of Octavia and Vinyl performing 'hit me baby one more time', as twin screeches of outrage echoed across the field. The Real Octavia and Vinyl stood stood on their feet, trying to destroy Discord with the pure fury of rage in their glares.

“Brittany Shears? BRITTANY SHEARS!!!!”

“YOU ... HAD US... PERFORM.... BRITTANY SHEARS!”

Discord blinked in surprise at the heat from the anger the two mares were emitting. Even as they continued ranting.

“THAT... THAT.... No Good....”
“Lip-synching...
“Tone deaf...”
“Rhythm impaired...”
“Screeching...”
“Caterwauling...”

With each accusation Discord took a nervous step backwards…. Until he was bowled over by the combined shout of their last descriptive of the artist in question.

“ HACK!”

Weakly Discord raised one paw, as he tried to defend his actions.

“It seemed funny at the time?”

This was obviously the wrong thing to say. As a low whistling sound could be heard coming from Octavia’s ears while she gritted her teeth. The grass beneath her hooves smoldering as if in proximity to a great heat source. Vinyl on the other hand just threw her hoofs up into the air and yelled in frustration.

“GRAAAH! THAT'S IT!”

Everyone else looked on in confusion as the white DJ pony turned around and begin to Storm off towards Ponyville. It was Rainbow Dash who asked the question that was on everyone's mind.

“Vinyl! Where are you going?”

“ TO GET MY BASS CANNON!!!”

Octavia, with fire still in her eyes quickly turned and galloped to catch up to Vinyl.

“ WAIT UP I'LL HELP!”

Discord stared nonplussed as he watched the two storm off towards Ponyville. Getting to his feet he turned a bewildered gaze towards Andrew.

“ Should I...?”

Andrew not even glancing at Discord as he returned his attention back to the simulator screen absently replied.

“Yes... Yes, you should be VERY concerned and afraid.”

Discord scratched his chin as he considered the problem.

“ ...Maybe if I offer them a special extra spicy shipping sim with you it will get me off the hook.”

This did catch Andrews attention, as his head turned sharply towards the draconequus. His Eyes narrowed as he hissed in irritation.

“Is pimping me out your answer to ALL of your problems?”

Discord smiled as he clasped his hands together and shot back in a faux innocent tone.

“But it solves so MANY of them!”

Before the verbal sparring could go any further Pinkie’s head popped up and glared at the two of them.

“ SHH! Will you two be quiet! Andrew is just entering!”

Giving Discord a glare to indicate that the discussion was not over, Andrew turned his attention back to the show.

*inside the Sim*

Discord chortles as he has the two musical mares move onto other songs. Just as they begin to perform the opening lines of ‘Stronger’, a loud crunching sound interrupts things. Frowning Discord turns around and quickly spots the disturbance. Namely Andrew leaning against one of the Ponyville houses as he idly munches loudly on a carrot.

“Ehhh... Whats up, Discord?”

Discord blinked and tilted his head sideways in confusion at the greetings. Then shrugs and floated over.

“Oh look! The evolved monkey is back. Did the widdle simian get tired of mean ol' Fluttershy? So much for determination... But I’m sure I can think of other fun games to play!”

Discord Laughed nastily. Andrew stood up straight and frowned. He stepped forward as his hands made as if her were rolling up his sleeves, while moving confidently towards the Draconequess of chaos.

“Oh yeah? Well I decided that for what you did to her Discord. You’re going to pay.”

As he speaks Andrew idly takes off one of the white gloves he is wearing. Discord leans forward a highly Amused look on his face at this actions. He scoffed as Andrew seemed to get angrier and stuck out his chin mockingly.

“Oh? Are you challenging me ? With a glove as your weapon of choice? Against ME??? You really are a silly specimen aren't you. Do you want a free hit for fairness?”

“As a matter of fact I do! I challenge you sir! For you have offended my honor!”

With that Andrew whipped the glove in his hand back. Than With a twist of his wrist he snapped it forward to slap directly on Discord's out thrust chin.

*CLANG!*

Octavia and Vinyl blink in unison as a loud metallic thud rang loudly as the glove connected with Discords chin. And then watched in glee as the spirit of chaos was sent flying into the air, his whole body twisting violently directly into a nearby fruit vendor cart. Discord lay there senselessly, covered in lumber with one claw sticking out into the air and twitching.

Andrew blinked in surprise and pulled his glove up to his face to examine it suspiciously. He gave it a few tentative shakes, listening to it rattle. Then frowning turned the glove wrist side down, and held the bottom open wide while he proceeded to vigorously shake it as if trying to dislodge something
.
A loud clunk rang across the sidewalk. Quickly followed by three more, as four metal horseshoes cascaded out onto the ground from the inside of the small glove. Andrew didn’t even spare them a glance however as his frown deepened. He started giving his glove several stronger shakes as if trying to dislodge something incredibly stubborn. Until finally Octavia and Vinyl’s eyes widened in shock as with a mighty thud Dr. Whooves body somehow slid out of the still normal hand sized glove unto the ground.

This apparently surprised Andrew as well. As he stared incredulously while the good Doctor got back up onto his hooves and brushed himself off. Then he turned to face Andrew.

“Ooh.... thank you Alexander. That chaotic pest caught me without my screwdriver and you would not BELIEVE the bizarre timeloop he then stuck me in. Or that strange green haired mare who kept chasing me through it over and over while trying to bludgeon me with a key shaped staff.... You know she never did explain that staff to me, I may have to visit it again to find out…”

“ Doctor… Focus. I’m Happy to have been of service... And by the way it's Andrew.”

“Oh quite right…. I do apologize but timeloops and spatial physics distortion exits are quite disorienting you know?”

Andrew sighed and then paused as he glanced at the twitching remnants of the destroyed fruit cart.

“I’ll take your word for it Doctor. Still, you'd better get out of here. Laughing boy over there seems to be getting up. I think the Crusaders said they saw Derpy trying to keep Dinky safe with the other foals at the Ponyville School.”

Doctor Whooves smiled and patted Andrew on the shoulder.

“Right-o I do need to check that they are alright. If I can find my screwdriver I'll be back to help!”

Andrew shook his head in bemusement as he watched the Doctor dash off. He continued scanning the changes in the Ponyville street corner that Discord had done. All while pointedly ignoring the sound of Discord emerging from the fruit cart wreckage. At least until the Draconequess gave out an annoyed cough. With a smile on his face Andrew finally turned to face Discord.

“Yessssss?”

The Spirit of Chaos gave him a curious and slightly annoyed look.

“... Alright... I'll admit I am a bit curious as to how you pulled that off, simian....”

Andrew smirked and reached up to condescendingly pat Discord on the shoulder before nonchalantly stepping away as he answered.

“Oh its quite simple my dear boy. See, I've figured you out.”

Discord grew even more bemused, while clearly planning on how he would get some payback.

“Oh you have?”

Andrew nodded and spread his arms wide, before pointing directly at Discord.

“Indeed I have. You're Daffy Duck.”

Discord blinked in astonishment. His planning knocked off kilter by this non-sequitur. His voice raising in disbelief.

“I'm... Daffy Duck? I'm a Daffy Duck????”

Discord proceed to move his claws in a gesture that highlighted his Draco-Equines body.

“I’M A DUCK???!”

Andrew just looks on in amused boredom, until he heard the magic phrase. Then from nowhere he pulled out a small wooden sign. A sign with just two simple words on it.

DUCK SEASON.

Discord had only time to blink once when suddenly a hunting horn blew a call in the background. Then numerous random ponies popped up over every ridge, building, and other obscuring obstacle in the surrounding area. Each and every one of them wielding Smokestack brand firearms, which they proceeded to use to bombard Discord with. The barrage of firepower lasted for several seconds.

Then as quickly as they appeared every pony ducked back down again and vanished from sight, leaving only Andrew, Vinyl, and Octavia behind to stare at Discord. A very blackened Discord who stood alone in the center of a small crater, his antler and goat horn blown sheer off his forehead from the mass shooting. The Draconequess growled as he leant down to pick up his deer antler and goat horn from the ground. His irritation clearly growing as he quickly screwed them back onto his forehead before turning back towards Andrew.

“Grrr... WHY YOU-!”

Discord let a Snort of rage out as he stomped forward to grab Andrew. Who in response just smiled and waggled his eyebrows while musing.

“Hmm... Exit stage left I think.”

With that, Andrew dramatically lifted his left leg and assumed a position of running for a second. Than with a whoosh all that seemed to remain where he had been standing was a giant dust cloud connected to a blur that seemed to head off towards the distance. Discord blinked and then gritted his teeth.

“HEY!!! GET BACK HERE!!!”

With that Discord took off in pursuit, creating his own dust cloud next to Andrews. Leaving behind a very confused Octavia and Vinyl who blankly watch as the dust clouds at the starting point started to fade away. The two mares became even more perplexed as the clearing dust revealed Andrew calmly standing in place while he watched Discords dust cloud fade to miniscule size as it ran across several hills into the distance.

“You know for a spirit of chaos, he's kind of slow on the uptake. Huh. Oh well, better get to work.”

Humming a small tune, Andrew trotted into a small nearby workshop. After a few moments he reappeared dragging back into the street a pile of wood, tools, and miscellaneous items. Spending a moment examining his bounty, Andrew nodded and dragged several planks off screen. Shortly thereafter the sounds of sawing, hammering, and drilling ring out into the air. Finally the din faded away and Andrew reappeared one last time walking backwards, his attention focused on mopping a trail of liquid onto the ground. The identity of the liquid becomes apparent as Andrew finishes up and leans against a large barrel labeled ‘Axel Grease’ and glances back towards Discords distant form.

As he watched the small silhouette of Discord heading over the horizon suddenly stopped. Then the distant form suddenly leapt up as if it had just come to an angered realization. The dot seemed to turn around and rapidly began to return back to its starting point. Andrew calmly peeled a banana as he watched the distant dot slowly start to become more discernible as the chaotic Draconequss approaching at speed.

After a few moments of watching Andrew finally stepped away from the barrel he had been leaning on and negligently tossed the banana peel in his hand onto the ground. The rapidly approaching Discord saw this act and in reply just rolled his eyes and then leapt over the peel. He turned his head in mid jump to stick his tongue out at a bemused Andrew, causing caused him to completely miss the large trail of grease his jump aimed him toward. Andrew’s grin widened as he watched Discord land directly on top of the grease trail and proceed to slide along it at alarming speeds completely out of control with his arms wailing.

Andrew waved as he watched discord slide up the recently built wooden ramp and let out a small laugh as the spirit of chaos was launched into the air belly down. Nearby, Octavia and Vinyl clapped politely at the show.

Midair Discord blinked in confusion as he noted his trajectory was bringing him directly over a paint brush dripping with a substance. It was only as said brush painted a liberal splatter across his belly that he identified it as a glue of some sorts. He grew even more confused as the next prop he flew over was an loosely held piece of sandpaper. Which upon passing over slipped off its holder and was now glued firmly to his stomach.

Discord finally figured out what the sand paper was for, just as it struck a match positioned just high enough to brush his belly. A match which proceeded to light a long fuse that hissed merrily along his current flight path. Discord followed the burning fuse as it raced past him, only for his eyes to widen comically as he saw it heading for a very large barrel with the label TNT on the side.

“Oh.... Poopie.”

*KABOOM!!!*

Octavia and Vinyl smiled at the beautiful sight of their tormenter being exploded. Then suddenly found themselves compelled by their outfits to break out into a cheer. They glanced at each other and shrugged, before they started belting out excitedly at the top of their lungs in unison.

“Rick em Rack em Shepherds great!
Stick that Bomb to Discord's Flank!”

Andrew smiled himself and took a exaggerated bow towards the duo of cheering musical Mares. When he straightened up he snatched a rose that appeared to fly out of nowhere from the air, and took a long sniff.

“Ah... me public!”

As he enjoyed the cheer routine, neither Andrew nor Octavia or Vinyl three noticed Discord popping up behind him with a large sack in his claws. Without any verbal warning he quickly swooped the sack over Andrews body. Than yanked it back up and shut its opening tight trapping him inside. Discord paused to Look proudly at the struggling container for a moment. Then he turned a glare at Octavia and Vinyl, who had been wrapping up another pro-Andrew cheer, and hissed .

“YOU TWO STAY OUT THIS!”

Octavia and Vinyl blinked and both shrunk back. They immediately Pulled out two miniscule pennants that barely had enough space for a miniature D on it. Then responded in a unenthusiastic bored tone.

“Discord, Discord
He's a trollish spirit of chaos mate..
If he can't do it.....
GREAT!!!!!!!”

Discords glare grew more annoyed.

“As soon as I deal with the monkey you two are next...”

As the two mares shrank back and Discord turned back to gloat at the sack in his hands, neither of the three noticed as a nearby cottage door opened. Out of which popped Andrew, stroking his chin with a thoughtful look on his face as he murmured.

“I wonder if that is what it feels like to be Pinkie?”

Andrew shrugged and then strolled up to stand behind Discord who was chuckling evilly as he described various fiendish plans to the bag in his hand. With a twitch of his wrist Andrew produced a new carrot that he began nibbling on. Then tapped Discord on the shoulder and ask between bites.

“ Eh... What’s in the bag mac?”

Discord replied to the question in a distracted tone, not even turning his head ot see who was talking to him.

“An over evolved simian of great annoyance. I'm going to have such FUN teaching him proper manners. Oh yes….”

“Yeah? That a fact? Mind if I take I peek at him?”

Discord absently opened the bag a bit to allow Andrew to glance inside. All while he continued muttering about what he was going to do to the human in the bag.

“OH yes.. and after you finish shoveling the heffalump manure…. I think perhaps some candy cane skin would suit you nicely monkey…..”

Andrew finished his peek, and gave a ‘you’re crazy’ glance at Discords mutterings. Then scratched the top of his head with the partially eaten carrot.

“Yeah that Sounds fine and all Mac... but there's one small problem.”

“Eh? What kind of problem?”

At this Discord finally glanced back to look at Andrew, but clearly not quite registering who was standing before him. Andrew gave a sheepish shrug.

“No human.”

Discord blinked in disbelief for a second. Than just to verify he stuck his head into the sack himself. A few more moments passed, before he let the sack drop to the ground, revealing in his paw a large stick of dynamite with a lit fuse. He shot a droll glance at Andrew.

“Oh hardy... Har har.”

Discord licked the talons on his eagle claw and gently puts out the lit fuse. Than without even a blink of concern he flipped the stick over and extinguishes the second lit fuse. Whose existence only became apparent as he doused it. He then waved a chiding claw at Andrew.

“Really... Did you truly think that would wor... wait…. Why do I still hear hissing?”

Discord’s face shot back to the Dynamite stick that he flipped over again. To reveal a THIRD lit fuse where the first one had been originally. A fuse that quickly burned down into the stick body before he could react.

“Now how did yo....

All of Ponyville shook as the stick exploded with a loud KABOOM!!! That quickly obscured the surrounding area with a large dust cloud.

Andrew stepped out of the smoke cloud, his hands dusting off debris from his clothing. He glanced at the shocked Octavia and Vinyl while chuckling nastily.

“Nye-heh-heh... What a tool. What a ultra-Maroon. What a schmuck... what a nincom-“

Andrew slowly trailed off as he felt hot breath on his collar. Turning around he came face to snout with a heavily breathing livid Discord standing behind him. Clouds of smokey rages shot out of his nose with each huff of breath as he glowered down at the human.

“-poop….. Crap...”

Andrew let his face fall into a huge smile and raised his hand to give a small wave.

“BY~EEEE!”

With that Andrew’s formed vanished into a cloud of dust. A moment later Discord mirrored the act once again creating two large dustclouds where they both had been standing. This time it was Discord’s cloud that dispersed first, revealing that the draconequess hadn’t moved an inch from his starting point. His entire body was poised and ready to pounce just as soon as the other cloud of dust faded away. A second passed and then Andrews dust cloud blew away to reveal standing there... absolutely nothing. Discord blinked in shock and then glanced upwards to quickly spot Andrew form running for the hills at top speed. Discord clenched his claws and gritted his teeth as he hopped up and down in angry frustration.

“OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!”

After one last hop Discord took off after the fleeing Andrew, making sure to put on an extra burst of speed in an attempt to catch up. Hearing the sound of pursuit, Andrew glanced behind him. He spotted Discord easily, noting how quickly the spirit of Chaos was gaining on him. For a second Andrew considered rapidly sticking out his tongue and blowing a raspberry at Discord. Then he shook his head with a smile. No, changing characterization was to risky a gamble, besides he was more than accomplishing his goals as it was. Pondering his next gag, Andrew turned to face forward to watch where he was racing. AS he did so his smile quickly turned into a frown as he noted the landscape around him

“Uh-oh.”

With that Utterance Andrew suddenly leapt up and stuck his legs out in front of him. His feet screeched against the ground, acting as brakes that quickly halted his momentum. As he finished moving, his body vibrated in place for a second trying to reconcile with the sudden change in momentum. As he finished steadying himself, Andrew could only watch in bemusement as Discord shot past him. The Draconequess greater speed causing his own screeching halt to end several feet away from Andrew position.
As he finished screeching to his own halt, Discord turned an angry glare upon Andrew. Whom only smiled and cupped his hands around his mouth before calling out

“Hey baggy-eyes!”

“WHAT?”

At the angry response Andrew only smiled and raised a single finger. He then used that finger to point downwards; Discords gaze followed in the direction indicated. He quickly noted Andrew had stopped a few feet before the edge of a sudden sharp cliff, an edge that Discord himself had overshot by a large margin. Which meant he was now standing on nothing but thin air.

“Oh *$#^$&%^*&$#%^&%$@!”

Andrew blinked and then turned his head aside as he addressed thin air.

“ I don't know what's being censored and I'm kind of happy about that...”

With that Andrew turned his attention back upon Discord, who finally seemed to feel the pull of gravity. Most of Discord shot downwards at great speed, while his neck elongated so his head remained aloft long enough to give Andrew a death glare. Then it to vanished below Andrews line of sight, leaving only a faint whistling sound echoing across the area. Curiously Andrew peered over the edge of the cliff observing Discords rapidly receding form.

“I wonder if that silly spirit will remember he can fly?”

Andrew found himself flung back from the edge as the entire cliff and nearby scenery vibrated with the loud THUD of Discords landing. He quickly stood up and gave a philosophical shrug.

“Huh... guess not.”

Shaking his head Andrew turned towards a pathway down from the cliff side. He quickly descended downwards, pulling a large sombrero out from behind while he traveled. Upon arriving at the base of the cliff he spotted the large clearly outlined hole Discord had made into the ground. Andrew put the Sombrero onto his head and then began to hum a catchy tune as he sauntered towards his target, intent on unleashing more shenanigans

Author's Note

*phew* finally done with this one.... you know doing looney tunes gags in written format isn't easy! Hope you all enjoy it.

As to why Andrew is getting the better of Discord here? Well Andrew is cheating a bit... he's deliberatly taking on Bugs's persona, counting on the way Discords altered reality works making Discord unconciously falling into the Bugs Bunny opponent archetypes.... and its working... so long as Discord doesn't have the chance to think about changing the rules.

Which is also why Andrew chose Bugs, instead of say Droopy or The Road Runner (Both of which have a 100% win ratios, whereas Bugs does lose on occasion). Andrew needed an Aggressive protagnist to emulate. Droopy and the Road Runner and others are generally passive protagonists... they react or wait for their opponents to act. But Andrews goal here is to capture Discords attention and keep it focused on him so the Girls can get to the Elements.... He can't afford to be a passive protagonist and gamble that Discord will play ball. He has to be aggressive and varied enough to keep Discord off balance. Hence why Bugs is chosen.

Also hope you enjoyed the cameos and shout outs (Including Disney and a anime one) I had fun writing them up.

Now my friends we enter uncharted waters... the next parts of the omake have never been seen on FiMfiction.... nor have they been edited by Andrew at all.... stay tuned and please comment!

Part 6

*outside the sim*

Andrew leaned back wrapping his arms around himself and cackled with laughter, nearby Discord rubbed his face flushing in embarrassment. Every other pony was clearly enjoying the show as well. Pinkie Pie especially as she bobbed her head along to the peppy Mexican tune that was playing. She turned her head towards Andrew to comment.

“Oooh! That music is catchy, do you think you can teach me it? Well without the slaps of course.”

Andrew waved his hand feebly as he responded between his chuckles and trying to catch his breath.

“maybe..... later pinkie... oooh… my … ribs…. I think I pulled… something laughing…”

Rainbow snorted in amusement… then scratched her head with one hoof as a thought occurred to her.

“You know this is amusing and all... but it seems to remind me of something.... I just can’t place it.”

Rarity scrunched up her nose in thought.

“Now that you mention it, I too could swear that I've seen this before somewhere. Oh this is dreadful! It’s right at the tip of my tongue.”

Andrew took a few deep breaths to calm himself, than not looking up from the show on the sim Idly responded.

“ Your thinking of when the Warners escaped from the simulator.”

Rarity and Rainbow oohed in response, as Andrew brought the memory that had been just out of reach into focus for them. Discord meanwhile scowled as he to let his mind drift back to that day.
“Thank you Shepherd... I had almost forgotten those pests! Although now that I think about it, they had a bit more finesse than you are showing here.”

“ That's because we're masters of the craft and Andrew there is just a brown belt.”

Discord nodded.

“ hmm yes I can see that...........................................................”

Discord trailed of and blinked for a few seconds. Then slowly and reluctantly turned his head towards the new voice, what he saw there had his eyes bugging out. As sitting behind him smiling were the poniefied version of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot. Versions that had been unleashed from Ponyville when he had foolishly ignored Andrews list of ‘human things Pinkie Pie is not allowed to see or request ‘ for a sim a few weeks back.

“How did???? I SHUT DOWN THAT SIM! YOU SHOULDN’T EXIST ! MUCH LESS BE ABLE TO GET OUT!”

Wakko scratched his ear with his rear hoof before responding.

“ oh we're just here to flesh out a segway.”

Yakko nodded.

“Yeah the Author is stuck, so he thought we’d be a good distraction… and hey he’s yelling at the screen again.”

Pinkie perked up

“I KNOW Aren’t they hilarious when they do that???”

Dot chuckled.

“OH definitely . Anyways we’re just showing up to help him move things along for this one scene. Well that and we MISSED you so much.”

With that the trio suddenly leapt up to grab Discords face. And proceeded to plant a huge sloppy kiss on it.

“MMMMWWWWAAAAHHHH!!!”

They turned and dashed off going 'boingy, boingy, boingy' into the back ground. After watching them for a moment and wiping his face, Discord turned a flat stare onto Andrew.

“.............. I blame you for this Shepherd.”

Andrew snorted and idly dismissed Discords ire with a wave of his hand.

“Yeah, yeah... it’s all the humans fault... same old, same old. you can chase after them later, when I can find a camcorder to record that fun... let’s finish up this sim first...”

With that all of their attention returned back to the screen where the story had progressed a bit through several gags.

*inside sim*

Andrew bent over and quickly painted a large white X on the ground, then stretched his back before glancing to the building beside it that was literally bursting at its seams with sticks of dynamite. He let a small smile cross his face and turned just in time to face Discord as he staggered up to building.

The Spirit of Chaos growled and then looked around. As his eyes fell upon the X and building, he let out a snort before rolling his eyes.

“ What am I supposed to stand on the X and get blown up AGAIN? Just how stupid do you think I am...”

Andrews smile widened as he crossed his arms and seemed to lean against the air.

“Well considering your track record so far doc.....”

A burst of steam shot out of Discords ears, cutting Andrews witty reply off.

“THOSE DON'T COUNT! I am Discord! I'll turn it around! And I am NOT going to stand upon that X!!!”

Andrew straightened up as eh let a angry expression cross his face. He stepped forward and shoved his finger into Discords face.

“Oh yes you are!”

Discord growled and lean his body forward, forcing Andrew back a step.

“OH NO I AM NOT!”

Andrew pushed discord forward, regaining the distance he had been pushed back.

“ OH YES YOU WILL!!!!”

“OH NO I'M NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The back and forth continued for a few moments. Then on his turn, Andrew suddenly shot a glance to the side and waggled an eyebrow.

“OH.... NO YOUR NOT!”

Andrew took a few steps backwards, only for discord to snatch at him and pull him forwards.

“OH YES I AM!!!!”

“OH NO YOUR NOT!!!”

Discord roared into Andrews face his eyes narrowed in mindless rage.

“I AM GOING TO STAND ON THAT X AND NO UNDER-EVOLVED MONKEY IS GOING TO STOP ME!!!!”

As Discord Stomped over to stand on the big black X, Andrew seemed to wilt as he slowly slunk away muttering.

“Okay you big bully.... no need to get nasty about it... you can stand on the X if you want to. But I’ll tell my big brother on ya… he’ll fix you!”

Discord nodded smugly as he watched the cowering Andrew slink away. He jumped happily onto the X, pumping his claw in victory.

“YES! See Discord always win and no human is going to make me not stand next to the building full of high explosives!....wait....wha?”

Discords eyes bulged in realization. His head turning sharply around until his gaze lands upon Andrew. Who smiled at him as he stood over a plunger to a detonator. Before Discord could say anything, Andrew jumped and pushed the detonator downwards with his whole weight.

*EQUESTRIA SHATTERING KABOOM!*

After the ground stopped shaking form the Explosion, Andrew opened his eyes. He then laughed at the blackened form of Discord standing in a large crater. Andrews mirth only grew as he watched the rain of rubble from his explosion begin to land, completely burying Discord in debris. AS he let his laugh trail off into nasty snickers, Andrew pulled out another carrot and rested his elbow on a nearby cart and addressed the pile of rubble.

“Give it up man. Face it Discord your old news! Stale… washed up… out classed and out of date... Utterly predictable!”

As Andrew said s that last word the pile of rubble begins to rumble and shake. A shake that quickly spread outwards, sending the entire region as far as Andrew could see quaking. As he struggled to stay on his feet, the smile on Andrew’s face quickly faded away.

“Uh-oh.”

Andrew turned to run, but before he could move.

"ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

As the cry rang out across the land the pile of rubble that buried Discord seemed to explode and vaporize into a fine mist. Even as that occurred the area of Ponyville surrounding Andrew seemed to just crack in half, before vanishing utterly. A very pale Andrew found himself floating in an empty black void, unable to move or at least be able to discern if he was moving in the first place. Slowly the utterly enraged face of Discord arose to face him, as the Draconequess snarled.

“YOU MEANINGLESS SPAWN OF AN OVERHYPED MONKEY! I AM THE SPIRIT OF CHAOS! I WILL NOT BE MADE A MOCKERY OF BY SUCH AN INSIGNIFICANT INSECT!!! THIS IS MY WORLD NOW! AND I WILL NOT BE BULLIED BY SOME NO MAGIC APE WITH DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR!”

Andrew struggled to get away, but with literally nothing surrounding him he had no traction with which to even begin to think of escape. Helplessly he watched as Discord’s face seemed to grow, consuming the horizon of nothingness before him. As he watched, Andrew muttered to himself under his breath.

“Congratulations Shepherd. You did accomplish something against Discord..... You made him very VERY ANGRY!!!!”

Discords hand loomed into Andrews vision, its size much larger than his own body. The claw snatched him up and Andrew found himself being yanked face to eyeball with Discords enlarged face. The Spirit of Chaos’s tone went from wild yelling down into a cold enraged hiss as he continued.

“Let me explain something. You're not the hero in this story, buddy! This is MY GAME ! MY RULES!!!! You're not going to BEAT ME!”

Discords voice grew even colder, as a malicious glee entered his tone.

“I hope you enjoyed your little JOKE. Because now it is time for you to learn. Learn what HAPPENS to a mortal who tries to make a fool of A GOD! You didn't like what I did to your precious little marefriend? Don't worry.... when I'm done playing with you, you'll wish that you were ABLE to beg for such a mild fate.”

Discord started to laugh sinisterly as Andrew futilely tried to struggle free from his grasp. However his attempts were all in vain, as he found himself drawn closer and closer to the laughing face. Just before he found his entire attention consumed by Discords laughing maw, Andrew managed to whisper one last comment.

“Fluttershy.... Twilight... I'm sorry.... I've done all I can....”

Unnoticed by him or Discord, Andrews words seemed to form into two tiny red strings that blew out of the void he was trapped in. And then Andrew knew nothing but Discords giant eye consuming him. He found that he could not even move enough to scream....

*outside the sim*

“.......................”

“ .........................”

Andrew and the girls all turned wide eyed to stare at Discord, their faces pale and trembling. The Draconequess looked a little ill himself, as he returns their gaze with an equally blank wide-eyed one of his own. Several moments of tense silence passed. Then Discord coughed and tentatively spoke.

“....ummmm...maybe....err... just maybe ….I should.... Take Celestia's suggestion about those anger management classes… just a teeeny bit more seriously?”

Andrew and the girls all mutely nodded in agreement. After a moment Rainbow hesitantly spoke.

“Ummm You know... Roid Rage... well he knows a few good classes of that sort... if you’re interested. “

Meanwhile as everyone was distracted the Simulation played on behind them. The scene shifting to the interior of Ponyville Library.

*inside the Sim*

Twilight and the girls were busy slipping their respective Elements onto their necks. When suddenly the window to the library blew open and a gentle wisp of fog with a slight red tinge entered. It paused for a second and then split into two before curling around Twilight and Fluttershy. The fog vanished with a small murmur as it caressed the two mares ears, and in response both of them suddenly stiffened in horror. Then Fluttershy squeaked out in alarm.

“Oh no!”

While Twilight softly whispered in despair.

“Andrew? No……”

Applejack looked up in surprise at the noise.

“Eh? whats wrong hun...”

Twilight shook her head and looked at the rest of them sadly….

“It’s Andrew.....”

Fluttershy’s eyes teared up as she finished Twilights sentence.

“I think... something HORRIBLE has happened to him!”

The other 4 girls gasped, as Pinkie spoke up with her eyes wide.

“DO you think Discord got to him?????”

Twilight and Fluttershy looked at each other as both of their eyes widened even further and Fluttershy cringed. Then the two suddenly turned and headed towards the door outside. Twilight called out over her shoulder.

“Come on girls! We have no time to waste! We have to save Andrew.... and Equestria!”

With that the Mane Six dashed out of the library.

Author's Note

*Ahem* My lawyers tell me I must inform you the Author is in no way liable for any injuries caused by Mood Whiplash.

What? You didn't think Andrew could actually BEAT Discord did you? As I mentioned in my prior author notes, Andrew has the upper hand so long as Discord is kept unbalance and thus unconsciously plays along to the rule of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. However the minute Discord figures things out or gets angry enough to change the rules, Andrew loses.

This was always how the matchup of Andrew vs Discord was going to end. And in private Discussions Andrew agreed with me. Nothing was going to set off Discord's ire more than being one upped at his own game. Especially by a magicless ordinary monkey. Still in a way while he didn't beat Discord, Andrew DID win. He bought the girls the time they needed to get the EoH.

naturally the next part is going to be the Mane 6 vs Discord... and the revelation of Andrews Fate!

As to the first less serious parts. Well I did write a Discord Fantasy island snippet based off this pic

Anyway please comment! it encourages me to edit faster! (and I have like 44 pages of txt to edit out of script format left in this story!)

Also I did a blog post of another utterly unrelated Omake for Hands.. check it out and comment on that to. If I get enough I may post other Hands! omakes for your amusment. Till next time!

Part 7

*inside the Sim*

In the middle of Ponyville Discord sat on his throne and frowned. He gestured with one claw at a floating circular table in front of him. At his gesture the table lit up revealing two translucent miniatures on a checkerboard surface, one fo a pony and the other a miniature representation of himself. As he watched the pony moved forward while munching on a carrot and trying to lift an anvil. A second later the miniature Discord was laughing while the holographic anvil lay flat on the ground with four twitching pony legs sticking out from underneath it.

Seeing this, the real Discord growled in annoyance before suddenly reaching down and flipping the table over and to the side. where ir promptly hovered for a moment before zipping to float above a passing group of long legged bunnies. A green light shot down from the table to engulf the bunnies and suck them up inside before it shot off into the distance. Discord ignored this as he grumbled again.*

“ GRAAH! It still doesn't work! How did that monkey do it? grrr..”.

He let out another annoyed huff and crossed his arms to pout. Then as if realizing what he was doing sat up straight and violently gestured as if trying to shoo something away from him.

“ Bah! No matter. I still won. Even if I did have to cheat. I am Discord! I don't care about how a magic-less monkey did more against me than Celestia, her sister, or her precious element bearers! I really DON’T! After all I have chaos... lovely chaos... I don't need to figure out how he did it! I'm not even interested anymore... really I'm not! I just want Chaos! Lovely chaos. Lovely distracting Chaos.”

Scowling he glanced aside and held out his claw. A glass appeared in his grasp that he held up while snapping his paw like summoning a waiter. A passing Cotton candy cloud quickly zoomed over to fill the glass up with chocolate milk. As he shook the now full glass in front of himself Discord let out a deep breath and began to calm down a bit. He leaned back in his throne as he relaxed.

“ Yes I'll just enjoy my triumph and not even think about it anymore. Just enjoy being me and in charge! Ah yes this will cure all my woes. Chaos is such a Wonderful, wonderful thing!”

“ Not as wonderful as Friendship!”

Discord blinked, glass halfway to his lips.

“Now what?...”

His scowl reappeared as he Saw Twilight and the rest of the girls standing determinedly before him. Most of the girls glared back at Discord, except for Fluttershy who was busy glancing around at random looking for someone and frowning as she failed to find them.

Discord turned to looked to the heavens in exasperation. Than with a sneer he drunk the glass in his hand, before he threw away the floating cloud of chocolate milk over his shoulder. As it exploded in the background he let out a weary sigh.

“ Oh for the sake of me!. This AGAIN?”

Applejack took a menacing step forward.

“Ya’ll better believe it! All yere tricks couldn't break us apart for long!”

Discord sighed and with a single gesture of his hand, pulled Applejacks Element towards him. The Earth pony dragging her hooves into the ground trying to resist until she found herself lifted up into the air to float before the spirit of Chaos.

“Oh Applejack. Quit lying... well if you could.. I did make you a liar after all...”

Discord smirked and raised his hand a bit higher. Pinkie, Rarity, Rainbow and Fluttershy all found themselves unwillingly dragged towards them. Until they too joined Applejack floating helpless in the air

“I made all of you what you are now really... will you lot ever learn?”

Discord blinked in surprise as Twilight suddenly teleported in among the girls. As he watched she surrounded them with a magical field that allowed her to float them back to the ground. Discord shook his head in bemusement.

“Well I suppose that answers that question. Although why you are trying to keep this farce up is beyond me. I beat you... I beat your princesses. I beat your Timelord... I beat everyone! Face it I WON!”

Twilght snorted in anger. Discord look of amusement grew as she growled out.

“Not yet you haven't....”

Before Discord could respond however Fluttershy interrupted. Stepping forward with a determined look on her face the yellow Pegasus asked in a firm tone.

“What about Andrew??? Where is he?”

The loo of amusement on Discords face fell at that. Scowling he replied, while behind him a theatre stage began to rise out of the ground.

“ Oh.... the monkey. I beat him to you know. He thought he was soo clever. The clown of the party, always putting on a show.”

Discord leaned forward as his sneer deepened

“Well since he was so eager to be the center of everything, I thought I'd give him a stage of my own!”

The girls heads all turned as Discord gestured to the fully emerged pony sized puppet stage behind him. With a clap of his hands a spotlight suddenly shone on the center of stage. The curtains then slowly rose out of sight revealing a small empty wooden platform. Then slowly what appeared to be a person dressed up in a clown costume dropped to the ground. Upon hitting the stage floor it collapsed into a jumble of limbs just like a marionette with loose string.

As the girls peered closer at the collapsed form, it did indeed appear to be a life sized puppet. Its limbs were made of thin sticks, with blatant wooden pegs at the joints for the arms and legs. The limbs began to twitch as they noticed silvery strings attached to various parts of the body. Following the strings upward revealed a pair of disembodied hands manipulating the control bars the strings were attached to.

Then the hands twisted silently and the puppets head raised up towards them. The girls all gasped in horror as they realize the head is not made of wood like the rest of the body. Rather it is a normal, albeit utterly grey, human face. As they recognized the face that stared out past them with ah opeless defeated look, Fluttershy and Twilight gasped together.

“ANDREW!!!”

Rainbow took a step forward demanding.

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM???!”

With a flash of light Discord suddenly appeared behind the Andrew puppet and chortled.

“ You like? I really did some fine work here. Look at the grain of the wood! The craftsmanship! The totally unlifelike movement! Why I even included a voice box...”

As he said that Discord reached behind Andrews back and yanked out a long white string. As the string slowly began to retract backwards, Andrew’s face began to move. As he started to speak, his puppet body swayed into jerky motion. Each pose and gesture he made while talking screaming of Despair and hopelessness.

“I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: "Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown
And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear:
`My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!'
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away..”

The white cord snapped back to its starting point as Andrew finished the poem and assumed a kneeling pose. His eyes staring out sightlessly into the distance once more, his face seeming to say that all one does is futile in the end. The girls lifted one hoof forward to comfort him, but stop as Discord spoke up once more.

“Intriguing no? A bit morbid for my tastes really... But I just can't seem to get him to say anything but commentary on the futility of life and being the last of his kind.”

Discord suddenly perked up as he plopped back down on his throne.

“On the other hand it does make a nice contrast to my fun. That lets me enjoy the fun of my little wonderland here so much more after each of his performances.”

All 6 of the girls suddenly shook off their shock and turned their glares upon Discord. Twilight trotted a step forward, her eye burning with rage.

“THAT'S THE LAST STRAW DISCORD!”

Fluttershy moved up to her left side, her gaze narrow and determined.

“THIS IS GOING TO END NOW AND WE WILL GET MY ANDREW BACK!”

Rainbow flanked Twilights right side, her wings spread in a aggressive manner.

“WE'LL SHOW YOU THAT TRUE FRIENDSHIP IS WORTH FIGHTING FOR!”

Pinkie just growled as she, Rarity, and Apple Jack also stepped forward and assumed aggressive poses. Discord peered at them bemused, and then raised his claw, gesturing at them to get on with it as he spoke.

“Oh very well if you must waste our time, but do hurry up! Hearing Monkey puppets dreary verse has gotten my creative juices going again for some lively chaos to cheer me up! I'm missing out on it.”

He flopped back into his chair. As the girls elements began to hum and vibrate he yawned and looked on in boredom. At least until a sparkling butterfly shot out of Fluttershy’s element to smack him on the nose.

“huh?..... whats this?”

Discord leant forward and paid full attention to the ponies before him for the first time. His eyes widened as he realized that none of them were grey any longer. Nor were they acting as he had brainwashed them to.

“No..... not possible.....”

Just as the full realization of what was going on hit Discord, Twilight opened her eyes. They glowed pure white with eldritch power as she and the rest of the girls began to float upwards. The six of their bodies crackled with energy. Energy that suddenly erupted into a giant rainbow of light that shot up into the sky.

“IT CAN'T BE!!!”

The Rainbow of Harmony arced upwards. Then it crashes down fully enveloping Discord, who screamed in disbelief.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo!!!”

His cry trailed off as the energy rushing through him turned his body back into stone. Then the rainbow seemed to split into two as its light passed through all of Equestria with Ponyville at its center. Returning the land and its residents back to normal from Discord’s rampage.

A loud thud sounded in the middle of Ponyville as the Discord Statues crashed to the ground. Followed shortly thereafter by all six of the girls floating downwards until their hoofs touched the earth once more. They looked around in satisfaction at the restored town and its surroundings. At least until their gazes fell upon Andrew. Twilight and Fluttershy both raised a hoof to their mouths in shock.

“OH NO!”

“Andrew!”

The girls could only stare at the spot where the stage had been. Kneeling there was Andrew, his whole body still completely grey and his gaze staring forlornly into the distance. Hesitantly Rainbow Dash and Pinkie approached him. Pinkie tapping his shoulder with a hoof.

“ Andrew?”

Andrew didn’t respond, continuing to stare off into the distance as he mumbled to himself.

“I failed.... I wasn't strong enough.... why did I think I had what it took to delay him? I'm just a sole useless human...”

Rainbow moved around to try and get into his field of vision while yelling at him.

“SNAP OUT OF IT!!! ITS OVER!”

Andrew dully turned his head dully turned to face the two of them. However his eyes remained unfocused clearly not seeing them.

“I failed.... and now they haunt me. Blaming me for not being smart enough... clever enough... I'm sorry... I'm so worthless. I couldn't save them....”

As Andrew turned his gaze down towards his lap, Pinkie and Rainbow both recoiled in shock at the defeated tone in his voice. As they stepped back in distress, Rarity and Applejack moved forward to try and reach him.

“Andrew hun.... we won... come on now... come back to us.”

“Darling... Please listen to us... grey doesn't suit you at all... it’s all over now.”

Andrew ignored the twos pleas as he slowly raised his hands to his lap and stared at them. Glumly he began to talk to himself.

“It is over... all over... I thought I was clever... I thought my hands... they look like such strong... capable hands don't they? I always... thought that's what they were... that they represented my strength and adaptability. My little pony friends.... Strong Applejack, Rainbow and her daredevil ways, even Rarity who teased me incessantly. I thought my hands and tricks could hold him off in time... but... Discord... I failed....”

Twilight moved forward sharing a anguished glance with Rarity and Applejack before attempting to reach him herself.

“Andrew you didn't FAIL...”

Andrew ignored her.

“He won.... I wasn't strong enough....”

Twilight stomped a hoof in anger, her voice rising.

“ANDREW! LISTEN TO ME!!! WE WON...”

Andrew glanced up briefling before turning his gaze back down to stare at his hand once more.

“And now he torments me.... with images of my friends.. the ones I fail.... while I sit here...waiting.... for him to end this torment....”

He turned his hand over again as he muttered.

“They look like such strong clever hands....don't they?”

Twilights ears and tail droop as she sniffles a bit, her voice trailing off into a whisper.

“.... but we won.... Andrew please... its over... please.... please... come back to us....to me.”

As he continued to refuse to respond, Twilight turned her head back towards the others. Her eyes shimmered with tears as she silently hoped one of them had an idea on how to reach Andrew. The girls however could only return Twilights look each of them equally stricken with sorrow at the sight before them. Than Fluttershy suddenly shook her head and muttered to herself.

“I do believe in Andrew… The Andrew who believes in me....I have to do this... I have to reach him...”

Trembling slightly in nervousness Fluttershy marched up to where Andrew was still busy staring at his hands.*

“ANDREW! ITS OVER”

Andrew turned his head towards her and his face shifted to even bleaker despair.

“And now he torments me with an illusion of her... why .... have I not suffered enough?”

He turned his head away from her and for a moment Fluttershy faltered. She took half a step back and then shook her head angrily, a determined gleam entering her eyes. Moving forward again Fluttershy grabbed Andrews head with her hooves and forcibly turned it to face her.

“LOOK AT ME MISTER!”

Andrew weakly struggled as he tried to turn away, tears streaming down his distraught face, but Fluttershy’s grip was to strong. Slowly she pulls him towards her and envelope his body in a hug. Using one hoof to stroke his hair, Fluttershy softly nuzzles Andrews neck while she quietly murmurs into his ear.

“ There.... there Andrew. I'm here. It’s all okay.... shhh…”

Gently Fluttershy moved her head to kiss away the tears on Andrews face while she continued to comfort him. Unseen by her Andrews eyes widened and his struggle to get away slowly stopped as his hands rose slightly.

“F....flutt...Fluttershy?”

Ever so hesitantly Andrews wide eyed stare seemed to finally return from his internal hell and take in his present reality. Then like a dam bursting Andrew wrapped his arms around the yellow Pegasus fiercely. His head buried itself in her mane while he softly sobbed. Fluttershy smiled.

“Like you said Andrew... I'm here for you. And I always will be.”

As his sobs of relief grew in strength, the tips of Andrews’s hands began to sparkle where they were desperately clutching Fluttershy. The sparkles quickly flowed down his arms and up to his body, restoring color to his skin and clothing as it passed. As the last bit of grey was erased Andrew glanced up from Fluttershy’s mane and looked around in wonder at the restored Ponyville.

“I...umm... take it we won?”

Rarity sniffed and discreetly wiped away a few tears from her eyes.

“Well now that your back to normal Andrew darling, it certainly is a true victory for us all.”

Pinkie grinned and bounced. Then stopped as she sat down and put her hoof to her chin assuming a serious face.

“Oooh there is just one tiny problem... What does one serve at a ‘defeated a chaotic god and celebrate your friend getting a coltfriend party?’”

Everyone else rolls their eyes and Applejack chuckles.

“Well I reckon I can whip up some apple snack right quick. For some reason I'm starving! As if my meals have been leaving my belly instead of feeding it lately!”

The others crowd around Andrew hugging him and celebrating their win. None notice Twilight standing a bit back from them all looking a little glum. She whispers to herself as she watches Andrew sadly.

“I wish it were me there with him.....”

Rainbow lifted her head to glance back.
“Huh? You say something Twi?”

Twilight suddenly stiffened and her eyes widened for a moment. She quickly glanced around and as her eyes rested on the Discord statue stammered out.

“Umm.. uh... that is... I said…err… I think we need to contact Celestia to get Discord placed somewhere safe! Yeah that's it... we need to let the princess know all is well. Nothing else.”

Twilight sweated as Rainbow looked at her oddly.

“Wait, can't you get Spike to send a letter?”

Twilight blushed and laughed nervously.

“He's... kind of indisposed... with indigestion at the moment....

Rainbow Dash blinked’

“oh... that would make things a bit harder huh? I guess we better deal with this before we party than.”

Twilight smiled weakly as she watched Rainbow get everyone’s attention. Soon they were well on their way to getting ready to lug the Discord Statue back to Canterlot, Twilight pausing now and again to send longing glances at Andrews back.

Author's Note

Finally done! And we have Discord defeated and Andrew is Saved! YAY!... but Twilight is sad. booo....

As to why Andrew remained grey after the Rainbow of Harmony? Well remember in the prior chapter he royally PISSED Discord off. SO DIscord went that extra mile in his mental games.and transformation when he was getting even. but it all worked out in the end.

So I am fini....eh whats that sound?

*SUddenly a door opens and several dozen pages reach out and Grab Rift*

NOOOOO!!!!! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME EDIT THE REST! NOOOOOOOOoooooo

*Rift Dissapears his hands clawing at the ground as he is dragged back to finish editing the rest of the story... *

*Rifts head reappeared*

While I work on the next part be sure to check out my blog for some more Hands omakes!