Bazinga!

by MrPengu1n

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other
Length: 4157

Sheldon's wormhole generator wasn't just a prank, it was definitely real. And now he's found, quite possibly, his least favorite universe. Will these ponies teach him the magic of friendship?

Sheldon's wormhole generator wasn't just a prank, it was definitely real. And now he's found, quite possibly, his least favorite universe. But, when Pinkie Pie unequivocally swears to befriend this newcomer from another dimension, will Sheldon finally learn the magic of friendship?
Of course he will!
Bazinga

Published 2013-10-12 16:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-19 16:50:53 UTC

Prologue

Sheldon opened the door to the empty, unused room in the basement of the university, eyeing the number 43 chalked up on the chalkboard. Once again, he allowed himself a Sheldon-esque chuckle at his biggest Bazinga to date. He reached into his backpack and withdrew a small metallic box, setting it down and flipping it open to reveal the wormhole generator inside. The wormhole generator had been real, and he had fooled Wolowitz and Koothropali into thinking it was a prank. Prank-ception, to be sure. Of course, the 43 was his personal hacky sack record, it had nothing to do with the wormhole generator. Why would they think for a second a mind of his caliber would forget how many parallel universes he had checked?

Nevertheless, he calibrated the machine and set it one up from what he had set it to last week, pulling out his personal voice recorder. "This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper; wormhole generator test number...47," that was what the number was up to by now, "In my never-ending quest to find the universe which will allow me to obtain superpowers, I have checked 46 empty parallel universes, but I shan't give up if it means potentially ignoring superhuman abilities." he flicked the switch and a wormhole spun into life. It was a different color every time, though mostly cooler colors; black, blue, and purple. This one was a bright pink color. Puzzled, Sheldon stepped nearer to the wormhole, inspecting it at every angle. It seemed safe; calmer than most portals, though he couldn't see through to the other side. Slowly, and cautiously, he peeked his head into the wormhole. It felt like sticking your head into a jet of water that pulled you forward, though without getting wet.

A glimpse of the universe caught his eye, and he saw brightly colored plants and trees, a brilliantly blue sky, and fields of light green grass. Horrifying.

He shuddered at the thought of an entire parallel planet of nature, and pulled his head out against the wormhole, making a mental note of the settings he had used to discover this universe.

Suddenly, he felt a large push from behind, sending him headfirst through the wormhole. For a moment, he was suspended in the pull of the trans-dimensional link, but was then deposited heavily onto the brightly colored dirt path. He scrambled to stand, uncoordinated and discombobulated, until turning around and seeing the wormhole snap shut.

"Oh dear..." he said.

He turned to face his surroundings, preparing himself for the task of building a new wormhole generator with nothing but nature. He felt...off. Unbalanced. He looked down at his body and made a shocking discovery.

He wasn't wearing any pants.

But not only that, his beloved bipedal frame had been taken from him and replaced with the Technicolor body of something that looked almost equine in nature. And it was; he had four legs, each one capped with a pair of cloven hooves, covered in a thin layer of fur so that he was the same color throughout his body. Thankfully, he still had his shirt, and paused for a moment to wonder why the wormhole had taken his pants but not his shirt. Dismissing it as pure natural coincidence, he attempted to navigate with four contact points instead of two, and found it actually quite difficult. He shambled forward a few steps, awkwardly attempting to navigate the dirt path in front of him whilst thinking logically about his potential courses of action.

If there was a dirt path, then there was obviously intelligent life. Or at least, some form of mobile life. So this wasn't just a planet of plants, which was somewhat relieving. The g-forces of the planet seemed similar to Earth; it wasn't extraneously difficult to move, though having four legs instead of two was quite encumbering.

He looked out around his landscape, searching for some form of intelligent life. He thought he spotted the silhouette of a house on the horizon; perhaps there were humans here, or at least something that could help him. He wondered what form of technology they had, wondering how difficult it would be to construct a wormhole generator by hand-er, hoof, in his case.

One long, difficult trip later, Sheldon had somewhat gotten the hang of quadrupedal movement, and had finally reached the house on the horizon. It was certainly a house, design similar to a Victorian-Gothic era house with a thatch roof. He made his way around it, discovering several other similar houses dotting the landscape, haphazardly arranged in some primitive village layout. But that wasn't really the most obvious thing.

Ponies, ponies everywhere, of every size, shape, and color. They all had astoundingly large heads and eyes; he wondered if he was similar in biological structure. They were making their way around what he assumed was the town commons, holding discussions and doing business from market stalls.

Suddenly, a pink colored pony appeared right next to him, "Hello! You're new in town! I know, because I know everypony! My name's Pinkie Pie, what's yours?"

Sheldon was caught off guard at the ponies' abruptness. "Interesting," he observed, "You seem to speak English, well that's convenient."

The pony, Pinkie Pie, looked confused, "What's English? I'm speaking Equestrian, and so are you!"

This pony obviously had no idea he was actually a human and not a pony, so Sheldon decided to play along, if it was necessary for survival (but only if it was necessary for survival) "Ah, yes, of course," he said, forcing a smile, "How foolish of me."

Pinkie Pie giggled. How atrocious, he dearly hoped she wasn't like this all hours of the day. Speaking of which, how long was a day on this planet? He had so much to learn, but his first concern was securing a way back home. "So, uh, Pinkie Pie," he said, "You wouldn't happen to know where I can find a wormhole generator on this planet, do you?"

Pinkie Pie was confused again, "A what?" she said, smiling all the while.

"I assumed as much," Sheldon conceded, "Tell me, what is the most advanced form of technology your kind has?"

Pinkie Pie thought for a moment. She certainly was trying to help; it wasn't her fault that she wasn't a genius like him. "Well, um, I think that would be the cloud factory in Cloudsdale!"

Sheldon had no idea what a cloud factory was, nor did he know anything of this 'Cloudsdale', but if they had technology, that's where he needed to be, "Alright, can you take me to this, 'Cloudsdale'?" he requested.

Pinkie Pie giggled at his request, "You can't go to Cloudsdale, silly!"

Sheldon was puzzled, "Why not?"

"Because," Pinkie Pie explained, "You're not a Pegasus!"

"Pegasus?" Sheldon repeated. He shook his head and smiled, "No, those aren't real, they're just myths!"

Pinkie Pie rose an eyebrow along with a confused smile, "Uh, then what do you call that?" and gestured to a nearby pony.

Sheldon turned to discover the pony standing next to him had a pair of wings attached to her back, right below the shoulder blades, "Astounding," Sheldon said, admiring them, "I suppose we were on to something with that old myth."

"Who's we?" Pinkie asked.

Sheldon turned back to her, "Oh, nothing," He assured, thinking fast, "Okay, um, how about this; Pinkie, can you take me to the smartest pony you know?"

"That would be Twilight Sparkle!" Pinkie explained, "She's the smartest pony in Ponyville, maybe even in all of Equestria! And she's my best friend!"

"That's great," Sheldon said, "Can you take me to her?"

"Sure!" Pinkie assured, bouncing away, "This way, follow me!"

"Now hold on!" Sheldon requested, shambling across the ground, "I haven't gotten quite used to having four legs!"

Pinkie Pie slowed down and waited for him, "You know, you're kinda weird, but I like you; I'll be your new friend!"

Sheldon wasn't about to explain his aversion to social interaction to this trans-dimensional pony, and simply nodded, "That's great, now which way is this 'Twilight'?"

Chapter 1

"Here we are!" Pinkie Pie announced, parking herself in front of what appeared to be a large building or home built into a tree.

Sheldon wobbled forward, finally stopping next to his temporary guide, "I think I've gotten the hang of walking with four legs," he boasted, "I guess I'm a natural."

"That's great!" Pinkie said with a smile, oblivious to the fact that if he were a pony he would have been walking with four legs for many years by now. "Come on, let's go see Twilight!"

"Yes, of course," Sheldon said, taking shaky steps towards the doors of the building. Pinkie Pie knocked on the door, and another pony opened it, one that has a purple coat of fur, and an even darker purple mane. She also had a bone protrusion above her brow, jutting out of her forehead. Sheldon gasped in surprise, "A Unicorn...!" he marveled, "I don't believe it!"

The unicorn, who must have been this, 'Twilight Sparkle' looked puzzled, "What, you've never seen a Unicorn before?"

"No, no I haven't!" Sheldon said, stepping closer to Twilight (purely for investigative purposes), and examining the horn, "Amazing. How did, in this parallel universe, Pegasi and Unicorns manage to evolve? What function does the horn play? Is there any social discrimination between ponies that have or lack wings and/or horns?" He asked in quick succession.

"Okay, you're going to need to slow down," Twilight instructed, gently pushing Sheldon away. She turned to Pinkie Pie and asked, "Who is this?"

"This is..." Pinkie Pie trailed off, realizing she hadn't caught her new friend's name.

Sheldon took the chance to introduce himself, in his own, prescripted style, "My name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Senior Theoretical Physicist at Caltech University, currently researching M theory, or, in laymen's terms, String Theory," he rattled off flawlessly.

Twilight looked at him for a moment, then said, "What?"

"I said," Sheldon quickly answered, "My name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, Senior-"

"No, no, no," Twilight interrupted, "I heard you, but...what?"

"He's not from here," Pinkie whispered.

That much is certain. Sheldon thought, then returned to the business at hand-er, hoof, "Twilight," he started, "I'm not from here, and Pinkie Pie here says you're the smartest pony she knows; I was hoping you could help me get back home."

"Of course!" Twilight assured, always eager to help, "How can I help?"

"I need to build a wormhole generator," Sheldon said.

Twilight looked at him blankly, "A what?"

"Now," Sheldon said, gesturing for her to stay calm, "I know this must be far, far ahead of your own technology, but don't worry, I'm sure you can learn."

Twilight slowly nodded, still confused, "Alright...what will you need?"

"Let's see," Sheldon started, thinking back to his original designs and formulas, "I'm going to need a few electron lasers, a vacuum chamber, a quantum flux manipulator, a few superconductors and quantum cooling chambers, a supply of hydrogen gas, mechanical pieces such as resistors and capacitors, any type of metal or other substance with which I could construct it, and a fixed point in relative spacetime. Though I'm sure I'm forgetting some things right now, they'll resurface in the engineering process."

Twilight said nothing for a moment, "Are you sure you're still speaking Equestrian?"

Sheldon was getting antsy, "You mean you don't even have a vacuum chamber on this planet?"

"Okay," Twilight said, gesturing for him to calm down, "Sheldon, you're staring to worry me here, did you hit your head?"

"Possibly," Sheldon conceded, "But that's not prominent right now; in fact it's note-worthy that head injuries are actually not that oftenly correlated with impaired judgment or memory loss, not so much as other causes such as substance abuse."

"Fascinating." Twilight said, "Now-"

"I didn't say it was fascinating," Sheldon interrupted, "I said it was note-worthy."

Twilight made a face, "Noted," she corrected herself, "Now Sheldon, maybe it would help if you told me where you're from."

"I'm from a parallel universe," Sheldon said instantly, not feeling any sort of reason as to why he should conceal that truth. In fact, why did characters conceal their origins in the movies? Wouldn't they receive help sooner if they were honest? And besides, Sheldon was a terrible liar.

"A what?" Twilight repeated.

Sheldon was fed up with their lack of scientific knowledge. "Alright, forget I said anything; I'm going to ask you a few questions, and you answer them to the best of your ability."

Twilight said nothing, utterly confused.

"What causes the sun to rise and set?" Sheldon started, giving her an easy one. According to his own research, no matter what universe you were in, the laws of physics were uniform. That was one thing he liked about the multiverse; his knowledge was applicable everywhere. He was a genius anywhere he went.

"Princess Celestia raises the sun every morning, of course!" Twilight answered.

"Oh dear," Sheldon said, losing all hope of receiving help, "You mean your society still believes that deities control the processes of nature?"

"Excuse me?" Twilight asked.

Sheldon sighed, "Never mind," he dismissed, "Next question. How many elements are there?

"Uh, you mean the Elements of Harmony?" Twilight clarified, "Six; loyalty, honesty, kindness, generosity, laughter, and magic."

Sheldon just closed his eyes, his hope for this universe dwindling fast. "Oh..." he whined, "Oh no..."

Twilight was quickly growing not so friendly towards this stranger. He just acted so arrogant! "Excuse me!" she objected.

"Next question," Sheldon said, ignoring her. "Why is the sky blue?"

The correct answer was the refraction of light through nitrogen gas in the atmosphere, but Twilight said what Sheldon had been fearing to hear, "It reflects off the ocean."

"Alright," Sheldon said, shaking his head, "I can see that you are no help to me, I'm sorry I tried,"

Twilight made a sound of objection, "What did I say that was wrong?"

"Everything," Sheldon said bluntly.

Twilight frowned angrily, "Well then, what do you say makes the sun rise, and the elements, and the sky?"

"The sun doesn't rise, the planet rotates beneath the sun," Sheldon answered, "There are one hundred and thirteen elements, out of which everything in the universe is made, and the sky is blue due to the refraction of light through one of these elements, nitrogen."

Twilight looked at him like he had bananas growing out of his ears. She shook her head and turned away, "I'm sorry Sheldon, but I can't help with whatever craziness you're talking about."

"It's not craziness," Sheldon objected, "It's science!"

Twilight rolled her eyes, "Sure," her horn suddenly started glowing, and so did a book on a shelf five feet away. The book suddenly jumped up and floated over to Twilight, flipped itself open, and Twilight began reading it.

Sheldon was astounded, "How did you do that?" He inquired.

Twilight looked at him out of the corner of her eye, "Do what?"

"You moved the book without touching it," he explained, and walked over to the book still floating in mid air, inspecting it from all angles. Nothing seemed to be supporting it, "How are you doing that?"

"Magic," Twilight explained obviously.

Sheldon looked at her for a moment, then started, "Was that sarcasm?"

Twilight rose a brow in confusion, "No," she answered.

"Darn," Sheldon remarked, "Wait a minute, it had to be!" He stood up and looked Twilight in the eye as he said this.

"And why is that?" Twilight asked.

"Well because magic isn't real!" Sheldon explained.

Twilight frowned and her brow furrowed. Her ear twitched.

"Get out!" Twilight screamed, slamming the door shut behind Sheldon, sending him flying forward and just barely catching himself before he went sprawling.

Sheldon steadied himself and dusted himself off, calling back through the door, "It's a miracle you ponies managed to build anything like this!" He turned around to see Pinkie Pie standing at his side, "You're still here?"

"I'm going to be your friend," Pinkie Pie assured with a smile, "No matter what crazy stuff you say."

Sheldon looked at her, momentarily wondering what pony law constituted as a homicide, then clearing his head and said, "Alright then. Perhaps you can be more useful than that Twilight character. Where can I find any sort of mechanical technology?"

Chapter 2

Pinkie Pie shrugged, and looked up at the sky, "It's getting pretty late," she observed.

Sheldon looked up as well. The sun was low in the sky. "It doesn't seem like it's been that long. Maybe days are shorter on this planet," he theorized, then scoffed, "I suppose you think your 'princess' is lowering the sun."

"Well, what else would?" Pinkie Pie asked innocently.

Sheldon opened his mouth to explain the day/night cycle being caused by the planet's rotation, then decided against it, simply shaking his head. "I guess I won't be getting any more work done today. I'm going to need someplace to stay," he observed.

"You can stay with me!" Pinkie suggested friendlily, grinning from ear to ear.

Sheldon thought it over, "Well, I suppose if that's the best I can do, I will bear it for a night. If it's necessary for my survival."

"Yay!" Pinkie cheered, then took Sheldon by the hoof and lead him off, "this way!"

Sheldon barely kept up with Pinkie, still somewhat new to four legged transportation. Pinkie lead him to what appeared to be a large bakery in the middle of town.

"Here we are!" Pinkie cheered, depositing Sheldon in front of the building, "The Cake's Cake Shop!"

Sheldon inspected the building, "Interesting," he observed, "Your species seems to have developed business if you have shops. What do you use for currency? Do you barter?"

"What's a barter?" Pinkie asked, "We use Bits!"

Sheldon thought that over, "Alright." he said.

"Come on, let's go inside!" Pinkie then suggested, pulling Sheldon through the saloon style doors.

Sheldon was greeted with a surprisingly pleasing aroma of baked goods. Cakes and other pastries lined counters and display cases, "Amazing," he marveled, "How did your kind manage to build all of this without hands?"

"With magic!" Pinkie Pie answered, not knowing what hands were.

Sheldon looked at her, "I'm going to assume you're joking, and instead of a formal answer I will simply cast you a look of haughty derision," and he cast her a look a haughty derision.

Pinkie Pie looked at him, "What?"

Sheldon shook his head, "Magic isn't real, Pinkie!"

Pinkie was confused, "yes it is," she said, "I see Twilight use it all the time!"

"Do you ever use magic?" Sheldon asked.

"Well, no-" Pinkie answered.

"Then how do you know what Twilight does is magic?" Sheldon reasoned.

"Because all unicorns can use magic," Pinkie explained, "silly!"

Sheldon looked out into space, "Hmm..." a theory was beginning to form in his mind, "Maybe..." he thought, then turned back to Pinkie and said, "I think I need to have another word with Twilight."

Pinkie laughed, "Well you're going to have to apologize if you want to do that!"

Sheldon said nothing. His eyes twitched once, "Maybe we'll do that tomorrow," he suggested, "Now where do I sleep?"

One restless night spent on a mattress full of hay in a room above the bakery later, Sheldon stood outside of Twilight's library once more, with Pinkie Pie. Pinkie nodded at him, and he knocked on the door.

Twilight opened it, smiling at Pinkie, "Hello, Pinkie!" she greeted warmly, then frowned at Sheldon, "Hello, Sheldon."

"Greetings," Sheldon said, then opened his mouth and gave his previously prepared speech, "I think, yesterday, I might have acted unprofessional-"

"You got that right," Twilight agreed.

Sheldon said nothing, and continued his speech, "I am lost in this parallel universe, and you are the only creature here that can help me. I would-greatly-appreciate your help."

Twilight looked him up and down, "Do I get an apology?"

Sheldon's eye twitched, "I-am-sorry," he said in a stattacco voice, "That you have no knowledge of science."

Twilight rolled her eyes, knowing that was the best she would get out of Sheldon. Sighing, she opened the door wider, "Come in," she said dismissively.

"Thank you," Sheldon nodded, and he and Pinkie entered the library.

Twilight used her odd horn-levitation trick to float over a cup of tea to her mouth, "now what can I help you with?" She asked, sipping out of her floating cup.

Sheldon nodded towards the floating cup, "That-what you're doing right now-Pinkie Pie has informed me all unicorns are able to do, and that you call it magic."

"It is magic," Twilight insisted, sipping her tea.

"That's what you call it," Sheldon conceded, "But from where I come from, magic is nothing more than myths, trickery, and smoke and mirrors."

"And where is that?" Twilight asked flatly.

"A planet called Earth," Sheldon answered truthfully, "but that's beside the point. I think, that what you call magic, is actually a form of superscience-science that is sufficiently advanced that it appears as magic, but is based on scientific principle-and I think that your 'magic' can help me get back home."

Twilight looked Sheldon in the eye, set down her tea, and observed honestly, "You're crazy."

"I'm not crazy," Sheldon said, "My mother had me tested."

Pinkie Pie giggled. Twilight rolled her eyes.

"So will you help me?" Sheldon asked.

Twilight sighed, "If it'll get you away from me sooner, then yes."

"Great," Sheldon answered, then pulled out a pad of paper and pencil he had procured for this purpose. He also pulled out some duct tape and managed to tape the pencil to his hoof so he could write with it. "Now then," Sheldon said, "I want to ask you some questions about 'magic'."

Twilight eyed his strange setup, then nodded, "Alright,"

Sheldon jotted a title down on his notes. "Now then," he started, remembering all the questions he had thought up the night before in preparation of this, "Have you always been able to use magic? Since birth?"

"Yes," Twilight answered, "All unicorns are born with the ability to use magic."

"And only unicorns are born with magic?" Sheldon clarified. Twilight nodded, and Sheldon jotted that down. "Next question," he said, "does the strength of magic vary throughout unicorns?"

Twilight nodded, "It all depends on the unicorn."

Sheldon nodded in confirmation, extrapolating theories already, and jotting down Twilight's words, "Would having two strong unicorn parents increase the strength of their offspring?"
Twilight thought for a moment. She couldn't deny that these were interesting questions, "Well, my parents are unicorns, but my magic is so strong because magic is my special talent."

"Special talent?" Sheldon asked.

Twilight nodded, "Yeah, see?" She turned her body around and showed Sheldon a small image of a star on her lower flank.

"What is that?" Sheldon asked.

"It's a cutie mark," Twilight said, "duh! Everypony has one. Mine shows that I was born to use magic."

Sheldon's thought process was interrupted, "You said 'everypony' instead of 'everybody'," he observed, "Why did you do that?"

Twilight looked at him, thinking the observation was strange, "I-I don't know," she answered unsurely, "That's just what you say."

Sheldon looked out into space for a moment, then returned and nodded, "Alright," he said, "Now then. This, 'Cutie Mark', what is the purpose of it?"

Twilight laughed, thinking that maybe Sheldon actually was from another planet. "The cutie mark shows you what you were born to do. Everypony gets one sometime in their life."

"Mine is balloons," Pinkie Pie added, showing Sheldon her mark, "and it means that I was born to make ponies happy!"

Sheldon thought about that, "interesting," he said, "We don't have anything like that on earth."

"Well you have one too!" Twilight pointed out, gesturing towards his own flank.

Sheldon looked down. There, on his flank, was a small image of a circle surrounded by a few ovals, each one with a smaller circle on it. "Now that's interesting," he observed, "It appears to be an atom-well, a Rutherford-Bohr atomic model, to be precise-perhaps it would represent physics, after all I am a physicist back on Earth."

Twilight had no idea what Sheldon just said, and it showed on her face. "What?" she asked.

Sheldon sighed, forgetting that these ponies had absolutely no knowledge of physics whatsoever. How did they manage at all? Shaking his head, "Forget it. Next question."

Twilight shook her head, obviously thinking Sheldon was crazy, even though his mother had him tested. "Maybe we should continue this sitting down.

Sheldon nodded, and Twilight walked over to a couch, seating herself on the far right seat, 'Now what's you're next question?"

Sheldon slowly walked over to Twilight, who eyed him warily as he walked nearer and nearer. Sheldon surveyed the room, testing the air, testing the acoustics, and finally walked over to where Twilight was sitting and looked down at her.

"That's my spot," he said.