Applejack quietly made her way through the darkened hall of the farmhouse. She stifled a yawn as she walked into the bathroom, not bothering to turn on the light. Walking back down the hall, she heard a sniffle come from Granny Smith's room. Peaking through the small crack in the doorway, she saw the elderly mare knelt beside the bed. Granny Smith sniffed again, wiping at her eyes. "Ah know it's silly, an ol' mare like me sittin' here doing this, but it just hurts sometimes."
Applejack suppressed a gasp, her heart thudding in her chest. She was about to reply, when Granny Smith continued. "Goddess, Ah know Ah'm supposed to accept the things that come in life. Ah know it, but it's hard ta do at times. It's been years an' Ah think Ah'm the only one who even thinks these things anymore. The only one who thinks about them." Applejack wanted to go into the room and comfort her granny, but something told her it wasn't the right time. That Granny Smith needed the prayer.
"It ain't fair. It ain't fair that my grandchildren had to grow up without their ma and pa. They should have been here. They would have wanted to see their kids. They would have loved seeing what their children are growing into." By this point, Applejack couldn't move. She stood, transfixed, as her grandmother continued. "We all could see Mac was goin' to be like his pa, but no one could have guessed how much. He's quiet like Red was, and just as strong. That boy will do anythin' for me an' his sisters. I worry about him, though."
Granny Smith sighed. "He don't ever mingle with anypony. He's hardly ever brought home a special somepony, or even a friend. Ah worry that he puts too much on himself here, that he ain't goin' out and bein' young like he should be. He should be out courtin' fillies and having fun with his friends, instead of spending all of each and every day on the farm. That ain't what his ma and pa woulda wanted. " Granny Smith was silent for a long moment. The silence streatched on for Applejack, as she watched her granny through the crack in the door.
"Ah know he worries about me an' his sisters, and he feels he has to do everything he can to help us. To protect us. He feels like it's his job to take care of us, especially since Ah can't really do much 'round the farm anymore. Ah just don't want him wastin' his time here and not gettin' everything he wants and deserves out of life. He needs to find friends, Goddess. He don't say much, but Ah can tell he wants a special somepony something awful. He don't need to get it the way Apple Bloom tried gettin' him one, but can you please send a nice mare his way? "
Applejack didn't have to think long about Granny Smith asking for someone special for Macintosh. Granny was always good at reading ponies, and she knew from talking to Macintosh that he wanted a mare to settle with.
"And thinking of Apple Bloom, Ah wanna thank you for keepin' that lil filly safe with everything she gets up too. You know she's grounded every other week for doin' something dangerous with her friends while they're tryin' to find their cutie marks. Those two friends are good for her, though. Ah right proud of the three of them. They take their lives into their own hooves and try and do something with them. And Ah ain't ever seen 'em fight and not be a squalling ball of hugs the next day. Ah don't think her brother or sister noticed before she found those two friends, but lil Bloom was havin' a real tough time. She's always crawl up on my lap after school and listen to stories Ah told her, an' then we'd talk about school. She never really mentioned anything about friends, except that one filly who made candies."
Granny Smith sighed again. "That filly got her cutie mark an' then suddenly she wasn't Blooms friend anymore. The lil filly just didn't understand why…and then she met those other two fillies. And Ah don't think Ah've ever seen her happier."
"And o'course, my lil Jackie. Ah don't think Ah've ever heard her complain 'bout anything since her ma and pa died. It killed me, letting her go to Manehattan not even a month after it, but she had needed to get away. Ah wasn't going to stop her. Ponies deal with things in different ways, and that lil filly was heartbroken. Ah've never seen her so sad, before or since. Ah know Ah was right happy to have her back, and tuck her in every night. She don't know that Ah still sneak into her room and do it after she's gone to sleep. She's a grown mare now. She has some real amazin' friends too. Good as gold, those girls are. Ah've been out in town and one of 'em'll see me and offer to help. They're real good for her. They get her off the farm. She's a national hero now. Saved the world. And she still comes back home and bucks trees, because that's the kinda pony she is. She don't try and make herself big, like she could. She could do a lot with the titles she's got, but she don't do nothing. She's an honest mare, like her ma."
Applejack's heart slammed against her chest. More than ever, she wanted to just get up and walk away. She was afraid of what Granny Smith might say. She had already come close to crying while her granny was talking about her siblings. She didn't think she could stand to hear about herself.
"The funny thing, Goddess, is that even now, when Ah look at her, Ah still see that lil broken filly who had gotten the news that her ma and pa wouldn't be coming home from the timberwolf hunt. Ah know she still cries about it at night. "
Granny let out a sobbing laugh. "Ah know it sounds silly, talking 'bout all these things so long after they're over. Ah just have to, Goddess. Ah have to. Cause Ah still think you're wrong. You were wrong all those years ago when you took them, and Ah don't know why."
It was all Applejack could do to stay where she was. To not burst into the room and wrap her granny in a warm, comforting hug and tell her it was okay.
"Ah wish you had just done what Ah asked all them years ago. You coulda taken me. Red and MayBelle would have got to watch their foals grow up. They would have seen the amazing ponies their children have become. They would have been proud…so proud. Why didn't you take me instead?"
Applejack couldn't do it anymore. As Granny Smith broke down, pressing her face into the bed, Applejack gathered her into her hooves, her own body shaking with sobs. "Granny, no." Granny Smith wrapped her hooves around Applejack, the two mares rocking back and forth slowly, comforting each other. "Ah don't want you to go. Ah love you too much to not have you right now. Ah'm who Ah am cause of you. Ah wouldn't trade the world for you."
"But you'd have your ma and pa," was all the older pony could say.
"Ah accepted their death a long time ago. Ah ain't never going to see them again, and Ah know the mare they would have wanted me to be. Ah wouldn't be who Ah am if it wasn't for you, though, Granny."
The two mares sat in the floor of Granny Smith's room, crying together. They dried each others tears and helped each other to their hooves. "Granny…" Applejack nuzzled against the older mare's cheek. "Granny, Ah don't wish it had been you. Ah love you, and so do Mac and Bloom."
Granny Smith smiled. "Ah know, child. That don't mean Ah don't wish they could have seen how beautiful their family could have been. If they had been here…" Granny Smith shook her head.
"Come on, Granny. Let's get you some hot tea."
The two mares walked down the hall, to the kitchen. Applejack put on the kettle while Granny got the tea out, and soon the mares found themselves out on the front porch, watching the sunrise.
"Sometimes we just gotta put one hoof in front of the other, and take each day as a beautiful sunrise. It's a give, and we don't wanna throw that away," Applejack said.
Granny Smith smiled at Applejack. "When did you get so wise?"
"When you taught me all that," Applejack replied.
Hoof in hoof, they watched the sun rise over the trees, and soon Macintosh and Apple Bloom were outside with them. The small family huddled together in the early morning, drinking tea and hot chocolate, simply relishing in being together.
Author's Note
Thoughts?
♥MW
