Ivory

by a guy with many hats

Rating: mature
Tags: Sad, Romance, Human
Length: 13663

A man forced from his job by a mare more qualified moves to Equestria. In the land of wonder he meets a mare, he meets a chance to live amongst the ponies of the land, and he takes it.

When Equestria and Earth were pulled together and ponies and humans were given free movement, it didn't take long for the species to find their niche on either side. Unfortunately for one man, a mare proves better at his job, and he finds himself left with no skills, and no place to go but the new world to try and find his place. And when his hobby turns into a skill, he finds himself paying back the first mare to come to help him.

Part of Equestrium

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-18 16:08:41 UTC

I Bought Her Coffee

Prelude

Suggested listening

"Vincent..." Octavia danced her way into the room, the morphine drip they had set in place giving everything a rather lazy hue. "How are you feeling...the doctor said you held off..."

"I'm sorry..." I said closing my eyes and drawing a deep breath, "For...well, everything," I rolled to look at her, my eyes half open from the haze, "I just...I told them to wait so...so I could say..."

She simply took a step forward, propping her head next to mine, "Vincent...I...I'd like to think I've lived a life of no regrets...and...if I didn't do this...I'd regret it." She leaned in nose to nose with me, "May I?" She was as unstable as her voice, trembling heavily and causing the bed to shake. She slowly leaned in, twisting her head to meet mine. Her lips closed in on mine, until, with a delicate movement, we met, a familiar song filled my head. Her tongue lolling out, running along my teeth, stopping at my canine, she moved herself with patience and a worried pace. My eyes transfixed on her face, her eyes closed tight with an expression of sadness and concern riding hard along her brow.

Eventually she broke off, winded and still wearing the un-doubtable look of concern on her face. She met me eye to eye, a moment of perfect clarity dawned between the two of us. For that one brief moment, we were together, we knew each other's thoughts, felt the shared pain between us, the heartache, the cough, two beings, momentarily tangled up in the moment, like a ball of yarn we were one,

"Don't you dare die...I won't allow it," She said trying to smirk, "Die and I'll kick you out of the band." She joked, tears streaming from her eyes, "Promise me," She sounded like a girl I used to know.

"I promise...I promise...." She broke down, leaning her head over mine and sobbing. I could see the doctor standing in the doorway, waiting for us to be done.

We stayed locked for a few moments longer, "I'll be here when you wake up...." She hurried out, the sound of hooves on tile echoing through the hall.

"Vincent..." The doctor stepped forward, "You ready?"

"...you heard her....and I did promise." I joked, preparing to face the possibilities.

He just gave a single sharp nod. Several ponies came in and started to wheel me down the hall and into the operating room. One set a mask over my face, "Vincent...count back from ten..." The doctor held up his hand, counting off for me, "Ten...nine...eight...sev-" He cut out abruptly.

I could feel myself drawing back, my mind breaking and falling apart. Every memory of my entire life passing like a movie reel. Fragments of my life, a slideshow of my rise and fall.

If this is it, I'm ready. Goodbye, and...I'm sorry. I could see it drawing closer, my very first days in the land getting close. What felt like years ago, only a few months, I've come so far...I started with nothing, yet I made it this far, just to have it ripped away....

~IVORY~

I Stood Here Waiting

Flowers

ACT 1: Stability

February twenty-third

*Kachunk* My documents slid under the plastic guard and the intercom crackled to life, "Station five, next" I hurriedly gathered my papers and went off, almost being forced out of the way by another immigrant. I quickly found the next station and slid my papers to the attendant, "Reason for entry?"

"Immigration,"

"Date of birth?"

"January, seventh, nineteen ninety-two." I said with mock confidence.

There was a short silence, "...station six, next," Two of my papers slid back, I piled them together and hurried off. The next station sat with a guard at the exit, I set my papers back down and started to slide them across, "Sir we don't need to see anything else,"

"Oh...sorry," I pulled them back, "I just-"

"Here," A card slid out from under the divider, "Your permanent ID," Another paper, "Recognition of residence," I quickly pulled them together, "Any questions should be directed to the help desk, thank you, next!" I cracked a small smile looking down at my cards before someone slammed into me, throwing me towards the exit.

"Whoa there..." A guard caught me before I fell, "Easy there." He positioned me upright, "People can be so pushy,"

I gave him a quick smile, "It's fine, I mean I don't really mind," He gave me an odd look before smiling back.

"Well...welcome to Equestria," He walked me over to the door and held it open, "Good luck." I gave a quick nod and walked out. The next room looked simple, several pamphlet holders line the walls and a small desk sat in the far corner with a small help sign above it. I hoisted my backpack and started looking through the various pamphlets, most were for tourist hotspots, a few were towns trying to grab the attention of passersby with colorful artwork or lettering. I gave them all a quick once over, one caught my eye.

Ponyville, charming locals and local charm. I like that. Second stop on the train out of Canterlot. I guess that's where I am now. "Huh..." I folded it up, stuffing it into my jacket and made my way to the street, stopping at the door and watching the locals outside. "Huh...so they really are horses..." I paused and watched several groups pass by.

"Move," A rather raspy voice cut my thoughts, and a rather rough looking man pushed past me and out the door. The door almost closed before I grabbed it and flung it open, throwing myself to this strange new world. It was rather brisk out. Several groups of ponies throwing glances at me as they passed. I just shrugged and followed the flow of people. I had nowhere to go, nowhere to be. Figured I might as well look around.

I took a long walk through town eventually ending up at the train station mentioned on the pamphlet. Eh what the hell, I can go wherever I want! I stepped up to the ticket booth and bought a ticket, twenty bucks left, that's enough for food right?

The train was nearly empty, a few ponies and humans dotting the car. I set my bag down in the seat next to me and pulled out my documents. I set them aside and looked over my documents: Vincent Arroyo, age: twenty-one, ID number: zero-zero-zero seventeen. I cracked a wide smile, "Seventeen...wow..." I ran my thumb along the number still staring at it, "Better make them proud back home...."

"You're seventeen?" A voice rang from the rear of the car. I looked back to see a man with glasses walking over to me. He sat in the row behind me, "I'm twenty-six. Corey Livon," He stuck his hand over the back of my seat.

"Uh..." I set my papers down, gave a grin, and met his hand, "Vincent Arroyo," A good firm handshake followed, "So...you know anything about this place?" I asked breaking the handshake.

"Not really...my dad's friend said he would have a job for me, apparently he's number three or something crazy like that."

"Huh...any idea what kind of job?"

"Something to do with horseshoes...I'm just glad I took those classes back in school," He laughed. I just gave a smile back and faced forward.

"Man...you're lucky, no job waiting for me down there, but I figure I'll find something to do,"

"Yeah man don't worry, things tend to work out for the best." He reached over the seat and jostled my shoulder, "I'm sure you'll figure it out."

I couldn't help but smile, "Thanks man,"

"No problem, hey feel free to get some sleep, you look pretty tired,"

"Uh...yeah, I am...you can wake me up when we get there?"

"Sure, same stop after all,"

"Thanks," I settled back into my seat and stowed my papers, "Just...wake me before we get to the station."

"Sure man...no problem..." I pressed into the seat and slowly knocked out.

"Hey...it's time man," I felt something shaking me, "Come on, you said to wake you up," I slowly came back, the guy was standing in front of me, "Ah good, we're here," He stepped back giving me some room, "Ponyville."

I looked out the window; rustic really was the right word for it. "Huh...seems nice," I said pulling my backpack on, "Hey what time is it?"

He looked at his watch, "About five or so,"

"Huh...better hurry then,"

He gave me a long, appraising look, "You...you have somewhere to stay for the night...right?" I pursed my lips and nodded, "Alright...be safe man." The train jerked to a stop. Once it stopped completely I stood up and hurried out the front door.

I wandered around the town, aimlessly moving from street to street. I eventually found a small stall selling fruit. I bought enough to last the rest of the day. Five dollars...no way that's enough for a room. I gave a deep sigh and looked around. I could see the tips of trees in the far off distance. The sun had also gone down, now seemed like as good a time as any. I hurried towards the distant trees.

I stood at the treeline, the trees looked wrong. Too dark, nothing like the trees in the town. I took a step forward, "Hey...you're not going to go in there right?" A tender voice cause me to whirl around, "Cause it's really not safe," The voice was attached to one of the locals, a mare with a wine colored mane, "...what...why are you looking at me like that?" I must be staring.

"Oh, sorry," I smiled as I looked away, "Uh yeah...I figured I'd go for a hike or something."

She gave me a worried look, "You're new here; obviously, the Everfree isn't safe not for you and not for me. Most ponies know to stay away."

"...huh...well...I don't...uh...I don't really have many options,"

"Sure you do, go home, rent a room or something," She said walking over to me.

"It's not that easy...my financial situation is...kinda dire."

"So what, you were gonna sleep out there?!" She pointed a hoof over the forest.

"Well...yeah, I don't have enough for a room or anything."

She scrunched up her face, "Hmm...and you just got here?"

"Yeah." I said turning to her.

"Got a job?" She started circling me.

"No."

"Friends?"

"Nope..."

"A plan?" She said, a hint of concern in her voice.

"Heh," I suppressed an embarrassed smile, "No, I guess not..." I chuckled.

"You sure do smile a lot for someone about to sleep in the forest, and get mauled." She said raising her eyebrow, "I mean, it's nice and all, but you should really be worried about what you're going to do."

"Yeah...I always try to be optimistic, and I'm not really worried. Things tend to work out in the end. I mean sure, there are hard times, but the good shine all the brighter when compared with the bad," I said grinning and looking out over the forest, "I mean...it could be worse, it could be raining."

She looked worried, pacing in a large track around me, "....you're really going to sleep in the forest?"

"If I have to," I pulled my backpack up onto my shoulder again, "Don't worry, I came prepared."

I started walking into the forest, "...wait...I...we...I don't want your first time in Ponyville to be you sleeping in the Everfree. I mean...you could get eaten by a manticore,"

I turned on my heel, kicking up some dirt as I did, "I don't even know what that is," I said with a laugh, "Besides, you shouldn't worry about me, I'll be fine, always am!"

"...I..." she stammered as I turned back to the forest, "Hey wait....you said you didn't have a job....maybe....maybe you could help me around the shop, my shop, Roseluck's...I mean I can't pay much...but I...I can cook!" She ran over to me, "I mean...I don't like seeing somepony in this position, if I can help, even a little bit I want to. But...it's up to you I guess..."

I stopped, dust settling before I spoke again, "...." I bit my lip, "Sure., I'll think about it. Where is it?"

She quickly told me the address, "...It's not far from here, just look for the building with the orchids out front."

"Well...listen...I don't know if I'll end up showing, but thanks for this," I turned and gave her a warm smile as I walked back into the forest, "Maybe we'll see each other again," I turned back around and stepped from the dirt path, to the dense underbrush of the forest.

I saw her reach a hood out, "Be safe."

I was in the thick of it now, surrounded by dense ground cover and an absolute ton of trees. I kept going, stepping over roots, ferns, thorn bushes, everything that could possibly trip or hurt me. Eventually I managed to find a small clearing. I could hear some rustling nearby and decided the sooner I set up the better.

I gathered a bunch of sticks and rocks and made a rudimentary fire pit. I started going over my mental checklist, "Okay...rule one, check overhead," I looked up, and moved the pit to an open area, "Step two, clear the ground," I threw a bunch of debris into the woods and kicked dust around to cover anything flammable, "Okay...now," I set my backpack down and fished out my lighter, I pulled the pamphlet out and lit it, stuffing it under the bundle of stick and twigs.

Once the fire was steady I took my coat off and laid it on the ground, spreading it like a sleeping bag. I pulled another jacket from my bag and folded it as a pillow. Once everything was laid out I sat back, arching my knees to my chest. I sat there, curled up around the fire for some time.

This wasn't bad, better than the bridge. Not really used to the cold yet...but I guess I'll have to get used to it sooner rather than later. I threw a few twigs into the fire, watching them dance and turn to ash. I got up and found a large branch. I dragged it into the fire and once it was smoldering I laid back onto my jacket and curled up.

This was nice, something different, not the usual bum infested overpass or bridge. I settled in and slowly drifted away.

*Rustle* "huh~" I pulled myself upright, "What the?" *Rustle* I looked around, nothing. The rustling kept up for a few minutes before stopping. I scrambled upright and grabbed my bag, kicking some dirt onto the slowly dying fire. In my semi panicked state I started looking for the way I came. I quickly picked a path and ran.

I could hear whatever was out there following me. Whatever it was, it was heavy footed.

"Come on come on!" I yelled bolting through the trees. My arms slightly bloody from pulling myself across tree bark and bushes, "Come on!" I saw a pale light in the distance and gave every bit of my strength to reach it.

I used a tree to pull myself forward and onto a dirt path, tumbling as I did. I scrambled back and caught a glimpse of a few sets of green eyes peering through the forest, "Phew...god...." I pulled myself upright and backed away. More trees, apple trees. I also looked up and found the moon, it was maybe four am.

I hurried down the path into the apple trees and set my back against one. Sleeping out here would still beat any park bench.

"Applejack! Big Mac! There's somthin' weird out here." I woke with a start and looked around. Experience has taught me, people don't take kindly to trespassing. I hastily got to my feet and ran back to the road towards town. No reason to end up in jail after one night.

"Building with orchids...orchids...what's an orchid?" I wandered the streets looking for the shop the mare had told me about. What was the name? Rose something, something Rose?.

Everything was kind of a blur. My head was killing me from the constant interrupted sleep. People, ponies rather, were staring at me lurch hazily down the street. I felt like death.

"Hey you okay?" A concerned looking pony walked up to me, "You look a little lost..." He looked at my arms, "What happened?"

I covered my arms, "Nothing, anyways, yeah I'm looking for a flower shop, do you know if there's one with orchids out front?"

He gave me another worried look, "Roseluck's yeah, it's down the street, just keep going. You really can't miss it." He turned and walked away, still glancing back, a worried look still visible as he left.

I ignored the look and just hurried down the street. Eventually the buildings started to differentiate. Less copy pasted houses and more slightly alternating shops and more ornate homes. Each home was slightly different, even if not in an immediately apparent way.

"Hey, it's you!" The mare from before ran over to me. She stopped and looked me over, "Oh....are you okay, what happened to your arms?!"

I looked at them, the scrapes and cuts had healed over relatively fast, but you could still tell what had happened, "Nothing terrible, just some cuts."

She scrunched her face up yet again; it was rather cute, "No...go inside, clean those before they get infected!"

"But I-"

"No, do it," She got behind me and started pushing me inside, "*sniff* and clean up too you kinda...smell,"

"What? I- You barely know me, you don't know me!"

"Yeah...well...I don't like seeing bums and if I have to, well at least you can be a clean bum!" She gave one last push to her door, "I'll show you the bathroom,"

"Here, I'll be outside watering when you're done," She quickly ducked out of the room, "Now hurry up...I need some stuff moved."

"Huh I-" *Slam*

"Now hurry up...I'm charging you for the water you use!" I could hear her hooves beating the wood floor, "You can work to pay it off!"

"But- what the- I- huh...." I set my backpack on the tile floor, "This is wrong....people normally aren't this nice..." I looked out the window in the the bathroom; it gave a nice view of her back garden, "I just...don't get it..." I shook my head and went back to my bag, pulling a haggard tin of plasters out. I quickly rummaged through her medicine cabinet for something to use as disinfectant. I found a strange shaped bottle of sanitizer and poured some onto my hands.

I quickly slathered the semi viscus liquid over my cuts. It burned, bad. Once it was done burning I quickly pulled a few bandages out of the tin and stuck them sloppily over the cuts. Twelve or more in total, and that was just for the major ones. I looked like I crawled through a patch of bramble.

With that done I hoisted my backpack back on my shoulder and went outside. The mare was watering her plants gingerly, "Uh hey." I stepped off the stoop with an earthy thud.

She spun around and looked at me, setting her watering can down she walked over to me, "You still smell...I thought I told you to clean up."

"I can't really help that."

"Go shower....I don't mind if you use my soap.."

"I only have one set of clothes." I deadpanned.

"...but...didn't you, you had a jacket yesterday."

"Oh crap," I slammed my palm against my forehead,"I knew I forgot something." I set my bag down and knelt next to it, "No no no, damn! All of them." I let my knee fall and rolled onto my back, "...yeah...I did have a jacket...."

"You lost it?" She asked, hanging over me.

"Yeah. I guess I forgot it in the woods."

She grew a slight smugness to her voice, "I told you...." She wandered off.

"Hey," I jumped upright, "You said it wasn't safe.There were things with green eyes-"

"Timber wolves," She mumbled through the watering can in her teeth.

"Huh?"

"Timber wolves, I told you it was dangerous. You're lucky you got away!"

"I...*sigh*...anyways you said you needed me to do something?"

She looked me up and down, "Sure! Obviously you don't mind getting dirty so you can help me move some bags of soil." She trotted around the side of her building. Her back garden was nice, floral but not overly so; tasteful, "Alright...you can set your stuff down anywhere, the bags are in the shed, I need it moved into the shop." She pointed to the shed and walked over to the back door to her house, "Just be careful, they're really heavy."

"Uh...I- I'm getting paid for this right?"

"No- maybe, depends on what you consider pay. Let me put it like this, you clear out that shed, you might be able to stay in there tonight. It's not much, but it's safer than the Everfree."

"This is a joke right." I charged up to her staring down at her, "If this is a joke it's not funny!"

"Who would joke about this?"

"No one, that's why it's weird!"

"Is it so hard for you to believe I don't like seeing ponies in trouble!?" She said propping her hooves against me, her face meeting mine, "I don't know why you think this is a joke, but it's not." She pushed off, forcing me back a step, "It's not charity though....I expect you help me," She hastily trotted to the door of her house and held it open, tail whipping back and forth angrily, "Now get to work!"

Well...alright then. I went into the shed. It was absolutely filled with bags of potting soil. I decided to get started and tossed my bag in front of the shed. I took two bags at once and hoisted one on each shoulder. I quickly crossed the yard and set them down next to the back door. The mare peeked around the door frame, "No, inside, over here," I quickly pulled a bag up and followed her; there was a series of shelves with assorted pots and bags of planting materials, ranging from mulch to fertilizer. "See, this would take me so much longer on my own."

"Sure...so how many do you want in here?" I asked brushing some dust off of my shirt.

"Enough to fill the shelves if possible," I looked at the shelves, maybe another ten bags, "I mean, it's easier to keep them in the shed but that means I have to go out and drag them inside when somepony wants some."

"Right, I'll get back to it then."

"ERUGH! There...." I set the last bag down and stepped back, dusting off my hands, "Not too bad I think." The bags were neatly stalked and flush with the rest of the shelves. I went back outside to grab my bag, "What the!? Oh man no! Not again!" I ran over and looked around, my backpack was gone, "No no no no no come on!"

"What?! What's wrong!?" The mare ran out next to me.

"Someone stole my bag!" I fell back and leaned against the shed, the base of my palm pressed hard against my temple, "All my stuff...my papers..."

"Uh, I just put it inside." I felt my heart climb out of my stomach, "Sorry, I figured I'd try to be nice."

" Oh thank god...phew! thanks I guess....it's- it's just not the first time that happened to me." I stood up, "So you have it right?"

"Yes...but it can wait, I made some food," She turned back to the shop and stepped inside.

"Food? Huh...like actual food?" I ran after her.

"Oh." I stared over the table. A wide variety of steamed vegetables and fruit littered plates and bowls.

"What?"

"Nothing...just, not what I was expecting."

"What do you mean, I'm a great cook!"

"...a vega- oh wait....right."

"What, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I stared at the plates of food in front of me and grabbed some fruit.

"Take some vegetables too, don't load up on sugar!" She forced a load of what looked like mushrooms onto my plate, "There!"

"...sure." Things got quiet for a bit.

"So. you said you lost your stuff before?" She asked over the sound clanking plates.

"Stolen; yeah, every so often someone thinks I'll have something they want...usually I find all my stuff dumped out into a ditch or something, they usually keep the bag."

"How horrible! What kind of ponies would do that."

I set the fork down and grabbed a pear, "Bums, but I'd rather take my chances with them than end up like my brother...stabbed by crackheads or something, I don't even know."

Another pause, "....so you've been living like this for a while?" She set her plate down.

I ran my tongue along the inside of my teeth, "Uh....yeah, about six years. I caught a break about a year and a half ago...even took some classes at a collage, until the check bounce. Heh heh."

She looked befuddled, "I'm sorry, six years?"

"Yep. Parents died in a car crash, me and my brother dropped out of school and lived on the street. We tried to work...he ended up getting hooked by some dealer...I never found out what happened to him. Anyways yeah I think it's been six years now, I mean....hopefully things will be different now, but if I had to go back.... I mean it wasn't good but I survived...mostly." I had let myself frown. I quickly rubbed my face and brought my smile back, however forced.

I looked across the table, she looked heartbroken, "Six years...so...you were just a colt..."

"Huh? Oh a kid, yeah sort of I was...fifteen I think. I have to be honest I try not to remember too much. It all worked out though! I'm here now, actually I guess that really doesn't change much." I gave a single weak laugh.

She avoided meeting my eyes, "So...classes...what did you learn?"

I leaned back in the chair, "Uh, piano." I covered my mouth, rubbing my fingers across my cheeks, "Piano...of all stupid things....not something useful or practical....I don't know what I was thinking, I think I just did it to try and get away from what my life was." I looked over the food that was left, "Well....I guess that's it...." I stood from the chair, "It's been nice but I better go find a place to crash or something, where's my bag?"

"...in the guest room." She still wouldn't make eye contact.

"What?"

"I uh...while you were working...I...."

"Guest room!? I can't.....you've  fed me that's enough. I wouldn't feel right-" She quickly stood and bolted over to me, pressing her hooves against me stomach and slamming me into a wall.

"You said six years! Well guess what it's not gonna be six years and a day, it's not gonna be six years and an hour!" She pressed her head against the bottom of my ribcage, "I might not be able to help everypony, but I can help you!" She looked up at me, tears forming around the edges of her eyes, "Follow me!" She pressed off of me and went to the back door, "Go on."

I hesitantly followed, once I was outside the door slammed shut, "HEY! What the fu-" The door swung back open revealing the mare holding a bar of soap which she quickly threw at me, "Soap?!"

"Soap. Now strip," She had managed to catch her breath halfway through the sentence, "I shouldn't have let you inside like that in the first place!"

"Strip!? I'm not going to strip in front of you!"

"Oh don't be a baby, unless you're hiding something." Her tone was acquisitive and playful all at once.

"Well yeah I...wait...what!?"

"I've heard of stallions wearing pants...cause they're small. I don't really care though."

"I- we- humans....I'm not going to-"

She gave me a fiery grimace, "Fine! Then you can sleep outside without your stuff!" She started to pull the door shut.

"Wait wait wait! Fine...." She swung the door back open, "I can't believe this...bullcrap...." I slowly tore my shirt and pants off and tossed them across the lawn.

"And those." She pointed a hoof at my groin, "They probably stink like a locker room."

"No!"

"Oh calm down....it can't be that weird. And trust me, I've seen some weird stallions."

"Gross, and no."

"Fine!" She bolted out and scooped up my clothes, "Stay outside, alone and naked!"

"Hey no no no!" She slammed the door and locked it, "Oh come on!" It was just me now, standing in the middle of some strangers' back yard, my clothes being held for ransom. I'm starting to think I was better off back in LA.

"Take off those things and I'll let you in!" She yelled from the window.

"But....look just let me grab my stuff and I'll leave!"

"No...I'm not letting you inside all dirty!"

"I-....Jesus..." I marched behind the shed and stripped my boxers off. I chucked them into the yard, "Happy!?"

She unlocked the door and stepped onto the back porch, "Now come out here!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Why!?"

"Because you need to clean up!"

"And you need to- hey no!" She grabbed her back garden hose in her mouth, "Really!? It's way to cold for that!"

"Well I'm not letting you inside dirty...make this quick and you can use one of my towels!" I hid behind the shed, eventually wandering out into the middle of the yard, "Oh....wow!" She looked me up and down once again.

"Hey shut up! It's cold out...." I grumbled, a warm feeling engulfing my face.

"Huh- Oh, you obviously haven't seen many stallions, and here I though you were nervous about it."

"What the heck does that mea-" She blasted me with the hose, "AH JESUS THAT'S COLD!"

"-oap, ush tha shoap!" She yelled through the hose.

"Ah ah ah!" I started scrubbing my entire body, "Cold cold cold ahugh cold!"

"-air! an down ther!"

"Odin why?! Ahhh!" I broke the soap in half and held each piece in one hand, one on my head, the other around my groin, "Come on hurry!" She quickly moved the jet of water upwards and then down, "Good, are we good!?"

She spit the hose out and turned off the water, "Yeah...I guess." She went back inside and slammed the door.

"Hey no!" I ran over and slammed into the door, "You said I could grab my stuff!"

I waited for a bit eventually huddling on the porch. The door swung open almost hitting my back. I turned only to have my vision cut off by a warm towel thrown at me, "I don't want you dripping on the floor."

I pulled the towel off my face, "Man...ya know I think I was better off on a park bench." I growled drying off the the rather small towel, "I mean this isn't okay!"

"Then you should take better care of yourself. Now come on." She got behind me again and started pushing me forward into the house, "You smell different now."

"Yeah please don't stand behind me....not like this...."

She wrapped her hooves around my back and locked them in front of my stomach, "Why...do you not like being touched,"

I felt myself start to get excited, "Hey hey! Not funny!" I managed to break free and hold the towel against my groin, "Homeless get weird after a long enough time...let's just say it's the reason I'm fit. Fighting off bums is great exercise."

"Gross...why are you covering your thing." She started walking over to my front.

"Why do you think it's okay to just ask me about my...penis..."

"Because it doesn't bother me, does your body bother you?"

"Uh....a little actually."

She just shook her head, "Well I need that towel back I'm washing your clothes."

She yanked the towel away, "Wait what!? What am I supposed to wear!?" She ignored me and scooped up the pile of clothes by the door.

"Nothing...you act like that's not normal." She said going to the back yard with the rest of my clothes.

"It's not!" I followed her to the back yard again.

"I mean, I guess cause you don't have fur you could be cold...but winter wrap-up just ended, it should be nice and warm in the daytime."

"...I- can you just" before I could finish she dumped my clothes into a large washtub, "Ah-" I froze at the sight.

She smiled and trotted over to my discarded boxers, "There and the- oh...when's the last time you changed?"

"A few weeks....I borrowed some friend's clothes..." I managed to eek out as I watched my clothes swirl around in the washtub.

"Wow...you humans always smell this strong?" She asked dumping the last of my clothes into the tub, "Like a colt locker room."

"I-I don't even know what I can say to that." She trotted past me.

She stopped brushing past my thigh, "Weren't you cold? Come on." She nipped my fingers and started pulling me inside.

"Here, do you have anymore stuff I should know about, stuff that is dirty?"

"No." I said looking around the room.

"Good, get some sleep then, you can help pay me back tomorrow," She trotted off, "Oh...and by the way, don't let your ego go to your head, it's not that big."

What? I grimaced and closed the door behind me. I looked around the room, a short bed lay in the middle of the room; too short for me unless I curled into a ball, which I promptly did, pulling the thick blanket around me. It was warm, the first time I'd seen a bed since that night at my friends house. I quickly fell asleep. A small tightly curled ball, warm and safe for one night. Even if it was only one night, it was worth it.

I Work In The Mud

Names

February twenty fifth

My feet met the floor. The cold wood a jarring change from being wrapped up in a warm blanket. I decided not to forgo coverings and pulled the blanket along, wrapped like a towel around my waist. A grown man with a pink embroidered blanket, the only thing keeping him from being completely nude. I let a smile grow on my face, "Man...if this were LA I'd say I really screwed up," I mused. The last thing you want to do on your own was to lose your clothes, and I had lost my clothes, almost lost my backpack, and a large chunk of my pride to this stupid blanket.

The floor beneath me groaning as I stepped. It felt strange, such a simple noise but if felt some homely, something you don't get with the unwavering concrete. It also just struck me that I had been standing still this whole time, just shifting my weight side to side to make the floor groan.

I should find my clothes.

I leaned onto the door frame and stretched out my neck and shoulders, they started popping as I did, "M-an," I gave my head a few quick jerks to the side, "ow...why do I do dumb things?" The last jerk had done something bad, a lingering pressure sat heavy in the middle of my neck. I kept my neck pulled to the side as I walked out into the hall.

A warm voice cut me off mid step. "Morning"  The mare from last night walked over to me.

"Uh...morning." I said as she strolled up to me.

"So, how did you sleep?" She asked smiling. It was a warm smile, eyes shut, head cocked slightly to the side, no teeth, a simple, warm smile.

"Good....really good, too good." I rolled my neck. She cringed as she could hear my joints pop, "Guess I'm still used to the ground," I chuckled.

"That's not funny, it's actually kind of sad." She deadpanned, "Anyways, you ready for more work?"

"Sure, once I get my clothes back that is." I said, laughing slightly, "No really though, I do need my clothes."

She looked out a nearby window, "Well they're still drying, you can go check if you want. Personally I don't get why you wear them in the first place," I pulled the blanket tighter around my waist, "So you gonna take that blanket with you or..." She asked with a laugh.

"I...pants....or something..." I hastily chattered looking out the window.

"..." She stuck her hoof out, "Blanket."

"Bu-"

"Blanket." She stated dryly, "You're not dragging it all over the house."

"Come on I'm a grow-"

"Blanket."

I could feel my face scrunch up. I quickly ripped the blanket off my body and tossed it over her, "Fine...but I don't like this."

She fumbled with the blanket, eventually folding it on her back, "And I don't like my blankets smelling like a stallion. Go on down stairs, I'll be down in a minute." She trotted lightly past me, her flank brushing past my thigh.

"Fine I'll just..." She ignored me and went into the room she let me stay in, "Alright then." I scratched my arm, realizing that it was still bandaged up from last night. I decided it would be best to either take them off or change them and headed into the bathroom.

I sat across from the mirror on the edge of the tub and slowly peeled the plasters off. Something struck me as odd as I worked, I don't think I've heard a voice like her's in a long, long time.

It was warm, with a certain intimacy that would make a lecture about dirt absolutely riveting, and she spoke with neither excessive bass nor treble, instead a medium that could shame a lyricist. No hint of a rasp or any form of impediment, completely clear and concise. Her voice also struck me as more mature than the rest of her, while not in volume or texture, it had a certain learned quality. Perhaps the only flaw was her immediately apparent tendency to slip into a condescending or annoyed tone. While not grating, it was certainly much less soothing than her natural speaking voice. The voice of a wife. I suppose that would be the best way to think of it, kind and warm.

I finished with the bandages and looked over my arms. Most of the cuts had scabbed over or healed already so I decided to leave them be and just let them heal on their own. Not long after I finished the realization struck me. I had just spent maybe fifteen minutes thinking about a stranger's voice. It felt odd, not wrong, but not right only unsettling. I could see it in my own face, confusion. Not concern for the fact I'm thinking about a stranger, nor enjoyment that I was thinking about such a lovely sound, but confusion. Even worse was the fact that I felt it was the proper reaction to be having. I pushed the thought away and peeked into the hall, "I need my clothes."

I stepped out into her back yard; everything was still slightly damp down to the trim on her door. I looked around and found my clothes hanging heavily from a nearby line. All I needed were pants, that's all. I quickly reached them and grabbed a pant leg, still wet, not damp, wet. "Man, I mean," I went to my boxers, they too were wet. "Crap baskets..."

I turned back and started to head back inside, the mare met me at the door, "I told you they would still be wet."

"No you didn't. You said they were still drying...." I drolled.

She got flustered for a moment, "What do you think that means!? If somethings drying," She reached out and bopped my shin with a hoof, "Then it's currently wet."

"Sure. Look it's still kinda cold out, can you move?" I took a step forward, landing my foot on the first step of the porch.

"Hmmm, ask nice and maybe I can move." She said leaning against the doorway.

"You're kidding right?" She just rolled her eyes upward, "Can you move please,"

"See, was that so hard," She giggled. She stepped to the side and let me in, she tracked me as I stepped inside, "Hey, what's your name anyways, I kept forgetting to ask you."

I stopped quickly, my feet slapping against the hardwood of the storeroom floor. A quick turn met our eyes, "Vincent, or Vince, or even Mr. Arroyo if you're feeling formal."

"Hmm, Vincent...what a weird name," She said it so cleanly yet with such a smirk that I couldn't actually tell if she was being sarcastic, "Roseluck, or Rose for short, but I think I told you that before,"

I just shifted my feet, "Maybe...I don't have to greatest memory of names,"

She nodded a few times, "So you ready?"

"For what?" I asked, crossing my arms.

"Work! You get to play fetch today," She said with a laugh.

"Fetch?"

"When ponies come in to buy, you go and get if for them. Really simple,"

"....without clothes?"

"Without clothes."

I made a few low grumbles, "No."

"Then leave. I said you could work not freeload,"

"Then I need pants or something."

She gave a long sigh, "...look, if I promise to take you to go get some pants will you promise to get to work?"

"Uh- fine, you know what, okay," I said holding my arms out in surrender, "It's honestly not the worst thing I've been through." She gave a quick nod and started towards the front of the shop. She quickly flipped a sign in the front window and move to the counter.

Rose gestured for me to move next to her. "Find a chair, it usually takes a while but when the customers start coming in, they start coming in."

I turned away from her doing my best to not laugh, "Didn't even realize what she said."

"Thanks come again!" Roseluck shouted over the sound of coins being slid into a drawer. She turned to me, "See, I told you it'd be fine!" She said through her smile.

"Still giving me weird looks." I said crossing my legs.

"Well it's not because your naked." She joked, "It's because you're different!" She said with an unusually happy smile.

"Your smile worries me."

"Huh oh sorry...just bringing in a lot more business than normal." Just as she finished another mare slammed through the door, "Hi how can-"

"I heard he's naked!" The new customer yelled, searching the room, "Where!?"

I quickly pulled my chair behind a wall, "I'm sorry?" Roseluck asked with an angry tone.

"Humans, they're here, someone said you had a naked one!" it sounded like she knocked over a few pots.

"Hey! Leave!"

"No,"

"Yes,"

"No, I wanna see it!"

"It!? He's a person you dolt!"

"So he is here, show me!" It sounded like something heavy slammed against the counter, "Please!?"

"...Lyra....leave..."

It sounded like she started sobbing, "I just wanna see what they look like, they always wear clothes!"

"Lyra....just go...." There was some quick sobs and moans before things got really quiet. Once it sounded like she left I went to move my chair back into the storefront, Rose stopped me as my head was peeking around the corner, "Wait...she's still in the window." I felt my face contort in disgust and confusion, "Lyra stop! He's not coming out!"

There was a very loud, very quick moan before something slammed the window, "What the hell?" I asked anyone willing to answer.

"Yeah I know, I think she's gone now," I peeked around the corner out of the storeroom and looked around, "It's safe. You know, maybe you're right about this whole no clothes thing," Rose said as I set my chair down next to her.

"Uh yeah, so I'm gonna go check if they're dry." I quickly moved through the storeroom and out the back door. The grass was no longer damp, more just cold.

There was a loud gasp, "Wow..." I looked around, the mare from before was hanging her forelegs over the top of Roseluck's fence.

"I can see you!" I yelled bolting behind the shed, "What the hell are you doing!?"

"Nothing...." The mint green mare drawled out.

"Leave!"

"But..." It sounded like she was pulling on the wooden fence, "Come on- stupid fence,"

"Go away!" I looked around. I quickly planned my strategy and bolted over, grabbed my pants, and ducking behind a bush. I sat on the ground and pulled my legs through the slightly damp denim. With them secure I stood up, top half above the bush and spread my arm, "What now?!"

The mare's ear went flat, "...I just wanted to see...."

"Go away." I said pulling the rest of my clothes off the line, "Seriously....go away....get! Shoo!" I found my shoes and tossed one at her. She pulled back and flung off the fence, "Weirdo."

"Thank you come again!" Roseluck shouted as a heavily burdened mare strolled out of the building, "This is insane! I've had more sales today than the rest of the month!"

"Too bad that weirdo from before didn't have any cash....then again, I might feel kind of used if she did."

"Hey don't complain you're good for business, we should get dinner or something!" She chirped counting coins on the counter.

"Uh....remember your promise....I work, you help me out."

She looked at me flatly, "Rent?" She asked holding her hoof out to me.

"I...you said..."

She cracked a wide grin, "I'm kidding at least for now, besides you more than earned another night!" She said, smiling ear to ear, bouncing a large bag of coins in her hoof, "This is great!"

"...sure...we done for the day?" I asked putting the stool back in the storeroom. Dust still settling from the recently vacated bags.

"I think so. You know, it's kind of like you're my human." It felt strange to hear her say that, wrong, "Hmmm come on, I've got an idea," She trotted over to the back door and locked it, "Hurry and clean up, we're going to go have a personal day,"

I dusted myself off and followed her out the front door, "Personal day?"

"Yeah, your mane needs to be cleaned up, your....things...hand things...." She pointed to my fingers, "They need a trim."

"Fingernails?"

"If that's what you call them I'm not going to judge." We walked out the front door. With the both of us outside she locked the door and started off down the street, "Just promise you'll keep bringing in good business,"

"I don't know how I can promise that." A said walking next to her, the sun at our backs giving a pleasant feeling as well as a nice ambient light.

"Well then promise to keep trying, trying works. Or get a job....remember...you're not freeloading you're working for it,"

"Sure. They should really fix these roads." I said kicking a piece of gravel along the path.

"What do you mean?"

"Dirt roads are kinda rural no?"

"Well...we're not exactly Manehatten." She jeered rolling her eyes.

"Anyways...where we going?"

"Don't you worry....you'll enjoy it, I promise!" She gave a reassuring smile.

The rest of the walk was a nice warm afternoon stroll. Sun slowly falling behind us, the air still warm from the day. The best summary for my entire time here, warm. It seemed foreign, wrong, not unwelcome, but odd. A month ago I was living under a bridge now within three days I was pseudo renting a room, had a small job, and apparently had a friend.

Things were moving fast, I'm not really sure if I like it or not, but given the fact that I spent the last night in an actual bed I'm not about to complain. Part of me wishes things would slow down for a bit, at least to let me know this is real, not some fever dream or hallucination. Well at least for now I'm in good company, heading to get cleaned up a little more.

A rich voice broke my thoughts, "Oh Roesluck good afternoon," We walked into a rather flashy building.

"Good afternoon Rarity, still open?" Rose asked trotting happily to the counter.

"Of course darling...who is this?" The apparent Rarity asked, sounding almost disgusted as she said it.

"A friend, we need a manecut, can you fit him in?"

"Hmm, I suppose. I've seen them around, I could clean him up...can they speak?"

"Yeah, we can talk...." I said trying to be non confrontational.

"Oh...my apologies, follow me," Rarity lead us deeper into the building, a slight smell of perfume becoming stronger as we walked. The white walls oddly frilly compared to the rest of the town, "Here, take a seat," She said levitating a stool over.

"Uh...how'd you....what was that?" I asked as the aura dissipated from the chair.

"This?" She levitated the chair off the ground again.

Rose stepped in between us, facing Rarity, "Sorry, he's only been here a day or so I'll explain it later."

I shrugged and stepped forward, "Alright...so, should I sit?" Rarity gave a curt nod. I quickly took the seat and before I could say anything a curtain wrapped around my neck and covered my torso.

"Hmm...so, what do you want it to look like?" Rarity asked pacing around me.

"Uh....short?" I guessed.

"...that...doesn't tell me much dear," She said staring at my head. Roseluck snickering off to the side.

"...just...just make it look good," I said tapping my fingers on the armrest.

"Well...If you don't mind..." She levitated a pair of scissors over, "And you're sure you trust me?"

"Not really...but she does so I see no reason not to," I said pointing to Roseluck. Rarity gave a grateful smile and walked behind me. I felt something tug on my hair and the trademark sound of hair being cut sounded through the room.

"Aaaannnd, done!" She said with a twirl, throwing the scissors across the room, "Whoops."

I ran my fingers through my hair, my once shaggy and unkempt hair was now cut to length and tidy. A quick brush sent hundreds of bristles sailing through the air, "Huh....nice," The once matted feel of it was gone, leaving a slightly soft, bouncy even, feel to the ivy league cut, "Wow....this is really nice," I looked over to Rarity, "Thanks,"

She had went and grabbed the scissors, "My pleasure darling,"

Roseluck had walked over and was circling me like a shark, surveying every inch of my head "So...how much?"

"Hmm...given that I've never done this before....and for such an appealing stallion," I felt myself clench at being called a stallion, "Would you both care for dinner?"

"Huh?" Roseluck asked apparently sharing my confusion.

"I consider this practice, but I would thoroughly enjoy a chance to discuss new cultures. I'd consider it a learning experience in exchange for this," She said flipping her mane and gesturing to my hair.

"...strange folk in this place...." I mused, "Real strange..."

"...you want to talk...with him?" Roseluck said pointing between me and Rarity.

"Given the amount of his people I've been seeing, I feel he could give me insight as to how I could fit their needs." She said, trotting over to me, "So long as you wouldn't mind paying for yourself,"

"Well I don-" My excuse was cut short.

"Sure! You know how to get back home right?" Rose asked dumping a small bag of coins into my lap.

"Uh..."

"Good, see you back home," She hurried out the door.

"Uh...I..." She closed the door, leaving me at the mercy of Rarity, "...rude..."

"Slightly," She said with a laugh, "Do you have any preferences?"

"For food....not really...I mean I've only been around the town once, no idea whats around here." I said standing and shoving the bag into my pocket.

"I know a charming little place, quiet, perfect for what we will be discussing," Rarity trotted happily past, "Come along," I looked around and weighed my options. I decided to suffer through this and see where it lead.

The restaurant was quiet, an ambient string of violin noodling filled the air. Rarity broke the soft background noise, "So, Mr..."

"Vincent," I said shifting in my seat, this place seemed like a bad fit for me, "My name's Vincent..." A proper looking stallion walked over and took our orders. Another round of fruit for me and some convoluted salad for the mare, "So" I said, swallowing the lump in my throat, "Your name is?" I already knew but we had never actually had our introductions.

"Rarity darling, Rarity. Now, lets get straight to business," She leaned over the table, "Tell me about your people's fascination of clothes,"

"Well," I crossed my legs, "I wouldn't call it a fascination. We wear clothes out of necessity,"

"Elaborate,"

"Well...if you couldn't tell we don't have fur, I think originally we wore clothes for warmth, now it's more about modesty. Our privates are always exposed, I know stallions go back inside themselves when they aren't excited, but we....we don't." I said sipping my water when I was done, "So...it's more modesty now...*cough*"

Her face was scrunched up in though, "So...you wear clothes all the time?"

"Well....normally..." I said shifting my legs again. "Things have been kinda weird lately."

"Hmm, how long have you been here?"

"...three days?" Another guess, it could have been three or two I'm not actually sure.

"Hmm, would you, if you lived here longer, buy new clothes?"

"I'd buy new clothes right now if I could...kinda broke though...getting better though!" I said adding a laugh and smile.

"You would....hmmm, would you mind helping me," A few waiters passed by, plates clanking against the trays as they walk.

"With?"

"Modeling, sizing, practice, anything really."

"Will I be getting paid?"

"Well...depending on how this goes....let's just say that I've been doing well selling to ponies...and clothes are a rather luxurious item for us," She said just as the waiter set our meals down, "Ah thank you,"

"Huh....wait...that's true....I haven't seen a single import shop since I got here. You could monopolize this to an insane degree!" Her eyebrow popped upward, as I spoke, "I told you I was homeless....not dumb."

"...indeed....given the large number of human travels I have seen in these three days....about how much do you think we could make?" She asked gently levitating a fork to the plate.

"Okay...a shirt like this...how much would you sell it for?" I asked pulling at my tee shirt.

"Hmm....maybe around fifteen bits."

"Figure you would sell maybe ten in one day, you could sell more stylized shirt or jackets for much more! Depending on how much a bit is worth...you could make a mint!" I said growing rather excited, I curbed my enthusiasm with an apple, "I'm going to assume most people that would purchase from you would also be tourists....jack up the price for one time customers and you could really throttle the price...or keep it low and sell a higher volume, all in all designer clothes back home were ridiculous....rich tourist are also rather gullible."

She seemed caught off guard by my sudden outburst. "....and you...if I made a few...for practice, would you wear them around," She set her fork down, "Tell anypony you meet about them..."

"Well...I met one guy, If I see him sure."

She gave a wide grin, "Would you mind letting me borrow your shirt?"

"...uh...maybe when we leave...I'm not about to rip my shirt off like a stripper."

"A what?"

"Nothing. I'll try and find the guy I met, he'd have more clothes for you to look at. Anyone else really...I'll uh....see if I can borrow some..."

She shot me a worried glance, "You're not planning anything illicit are you?"

I stopped mid-bite into an apple, "...well...not anymore." She furrowed her brow, "I'm kidding, I'll make it work,"

"Hmm, we should speak again soon, but for now we have a delicious meal to eat," She forked a tiny piece of lettuces into her mouth, "Delicious,"

“Alright I’ll see you soon,” I shouted as Rarity vanished into the slowly darkening night. She shouted something in return, too far for it to be audible, “Sure!” I yelled back, not know if she heard or not.

I stepped towards the shop, a faint silhouette waiting in the door frame, “Finally, really took your time didn’t you?” Roseluck said with a chastising tone, “So how’d it go?”

I walked over to the door, Roseluck blocking my entry, “I think it went well...I might have a modeling job...eugh, sounds fruity when I say it out loud,” I stepped onto the porch, “So...can I go inside?”

She looked me over, her eyes burning a hole in my forehead, “Sure...just remember, you're under my roof.”

“Sure,” She gave me one last glare, “Really, I’m not about to forget.”

“...good…” She stepped to the side, “Just making sure.” I walked in and up the stairs, Roseluck nipping at my heels the entire way.

“Okay? Is something wrong?” I asked setting my hand on the guest room door.

“No, nothing, just, didn’t expect you to be gone so long...”

I felt my eye twitch, “Are you-”

“No, go to bed,” She turned, flicking me with her tail.

I felt my hand shoot to the spot she hit, “...weird…” I stepped into the room and quickly pulled my clothes off. The room was made up exactly like the previous night. I sat back on the bed, a warm feeling flooded over me. I felt myself drifting away splayed sideways on the short bed.

I Spoke To Her Friends

Sweater

March third

"Just...tell her to watch her hooves!" Roseluck yelled as I stepped out into the warm spring air.

"You're showing!" I groaned back. I heard her get flustered as I walked towards Rarity's boutique. She had been acting oddly possessive since I started working with Rarity. I ignored it and walked down the street.

I'd been working with Rarity for a week now, helping her fit clothes and telling people about her new styles, and lucky me got to keep the show models. My wardrobe had grown from a single tattered outfit to all of three hand- err...hoof crafted, casual dress shirts and slacks. Things had gone from up in the air to modestly solid rather quickly.

I ran my hand along the fresh seams of my pocket. Even if this was just cotton it felt like silk; smooth, with a soft but textured feel. That girl could work wonders with cloth, hell, she even made a shirt out of hemp and it is by far the most comfortable thing I had ever worn. I spent the rest of the walk musing over the wonderful fabric.

*knock knock* "Hello?" I called out leaning against the doorway.

"Who's- oh!" A squeaky voice shot through the door. I took a step back just as the door burst open, "Hi!" Sweetie beamed with her shrill voice.

"Hi Sweetie, Rarity in?" I questioned, resting my foot on the porch.

She looked at the floor, "Yeah..." She groaned, walking inside.

I followed after her, meeting her after two steps, the perks of being taller than them was my stride was much larger, "You okay? You don't sound to happy about something."

"It's nothing...just Rarity..." She said sounding like someone had just blown out the candles on her birthday cake.

"Huh, well tell me about it, maybe I can talk to her." We stopped outside the fitting room door.

"Well...okay!" She chirped, She took a deep breath before frantically shouting her problem, "Rarity said she would take me and the other crusaders to the barrens and-"

I held my hand up, "Whoa wait- the barrens?" A giant plain of dust, jagged rocks, and death.

"Yeah! We wanted to get our gem collecting cutie marks!" She turned her flank sideways and revealed the notorious blank patch.

"Uh...*cough*...hmm. Gotta be honest; I don't think that's a good idea." I tried not to sound to down on the idea but it was rather difficult, the barrens were kind of a shite hole.

"But-" She said perking her head towards me.

I cut her off, "That said, I'll see what I can do. I'm not promising anything, but I'll try." I set my hand on the doorknob, "I'll find you when I'm done." I pushed the door open. Rarity was working on a sewing machine near the window.

"One second dear," Rarity was extremely focused on what looked like the final seam of an overcoat, "Alright...now Sweeti- oh Vincent! My apologies..." She levitated a seat over, "I thought you we-"

I gracefully took the seat, "I heard about the the filly problem..."

"Ah...I hope you aren't going to try and convince me to take them," She said, levitating a glass of water over.

"No...but you should take her somewhere, I mean you told me about your issues with the barrens...maybe you could take her-"

"Vincent, you have been a great help and business has been going great. So great that I can't really afford to leave my work." She turned back to the machine. "In fact I really must get started..." She levitated a few bits of fabric over, letting them rest on the table before pulling them across the machine.

"That good eh?" I laughed, scooting over to see her work.

"You have no idea, an old man came in, said he wanted to help his employee find some new shirts and other such things...he wanted them rather soon so..."

"Oh I see- wait! This guy have a bushy mustache!?"

Rarity looked up at me, "Why yes he-"

"Oh..ho...ho...man...that might be my fault..."

"Vincent...what did you do?" She said starting to sound annoyed.

"Those shirts you have to practice on...they might be his..."

She turned from the machine and stared me down, she jabbed my chest with a hoof, "....tell no one..." Her eyes steely as ever.

"Wait...you're gonna...okay then, cool..." I settled back in the chair, "Vicious businesswomen. I like it...anyways, I've got a proposition,"

"Vincent I really can't spare any more-"

"You take my pay for these next few sessions, I take your sister and her friends to do something for the day, and you make me an outfit..." The sewing machine came to an abrupt stop, "I'll take them to the mountains or something, all I need is a sweater."

She turned to me rather confused, "A sweater?"

"A specific sweater, a tall crewneck, medium weight, cotton, and slightly fitted," I stood up, "Figure take my pay for three days work, I'll see if I cant spread word about your shop, and I'll watch your sister for the day, hell, even tomorrow if you want. So what do ya say?"

She looked me up and down, "Fine....but two days work, consider it an employee discount." She smile lightly, "I have your measurements, how close a fit would you like?"

"Just enough so that it isn't bulky, something close but not snug, oh...and a dark color, maybe a deep brown or green."

"Hmm, something earthy?" She dragged a sketch book over and levitated a pencil out.

"Sounds good, I'll let you get back to work."

"Oh course- oh, and by the way, don't you dare spend any of your own money!" She tossed a coin bag at me, "Not one bit..."

I looked at the coin bag, "...I make no promises..." We shared a quick chuckle as we walked out.

I spent the next few minutes, first finding and then explaining things to Sweetie. She was rather torn up about not going to the death zone...these kids...oi...

"Don't sulk, I said It was going to be fun." I tried to cheer her up, tried mind you...

"No...she said we could go gem hunting...." Sweetie groaned as we walked to their club house through the town.

"..." I looked around the shops, "How about...Shakes?" I said spotting a sweet shop. "We can head inside pick up anything you want."

She looked at me with a hard, judging stare, "Anything I want?"

"uh..." I hated to admit this, but she was kind of terrifying like this, "Yes?"

She quickly changed from her hard stare to her usual elated demeanor, "Yay!"

We changed course and headed for the shop, "Whoa..." I exclaimed as we passed a pawn shop, "Hold up..." I veered off course towards the shop. A keyboard sat along the back wall, apparently a discarded memento of an immigrant, "Oh man...I want that..." I flipped through my pocket and walked in. Sweetie joined me, searching through the shop, quickly disappearing into the shop, "Hey!" I yelled to catch the owners attention.

The grey mare behind the counter lifted her snowy mane off the counter, "What...?" She said rather groggily.

I gave her a second to recover, her chin on the counter but eyes following me, "How much for the keyboard?" I asked looking past the counter.

She looked back at it, "Seventy bits..." Perfect I had- aw crap... I looked down at the filly searching around the room.

"Uh...if I put down a deposit on this thing...can I come back and pay the rest later?"

"A deposit...?" She lifted her head up slightly and gave a quick snuffle.

Oh great..."Like...I give you money...you don't sell it...and I come back and pay the rest later...get it?" I talked slowly, not sure what was wrong with her.

"Oh...sure," She hazily went over to it and took it off the shelf, "How much...you got?" She gave a deep yawn in between.

"Here," I slid thirty bits across the counter, "We-" That yawn was contagious, "-bollocks...square?"

"Huh?" She groaned pulling the bits into the till.

Oh dear god..."When I come back...you'll knock thirty bits off the price right."

"Oh....sure, hold on let me get some paper..." She left and quickly returned with a paper and a pencil, "Uh...you mind?"

But...unicorn...magic...whatever..."Sure," I quickly wrote down my name, the item, the date, and the price paid and agreed upon. "Now...I'll be back next week okay?"

"Sure...actually...eighty bits.." She tried to smile under her messy mane.

I gave her an annoyed look, "I already wrote down seventy..."

"Oh....never mind then..." She perched herself back on the counter, "Right...so...next week you buy it again...."

"Right...." I made sure she took the note, "Just don't sell it,"

"I cant sell it anyways....no one wants it..." She gave a quick yawn before resting her head back onto the counter.

"Right...come on Sweetie," She popped out from a few piles of clothes and scampered over.

I met the counter to the sweets shop with my hip, "Just coffee for me, black, black coffee," I passed the bits over.

"Great and you?" The mare behind the counter shifted over to Sweetie. She proceeded to order something completely convoluted and extravagant that I fear I may never comprehend, "Okay, fifteen bits,"

I was caught off guard by the price, "Cripes..." I fished the bits out and over to the mare. With it paid up I turned to Sweetie "I'll find a seat outside, you gonna need help carrying your thing?"

She watched the mare behind the counter work at filling the enormous glass, "No! ...well..." She looked back at the enormous glass being filled behind the counter.

The mare behind the counter gave a quick laugh, "I'll help her,"

I returned her kindness with a warm smile and a decent tip, "Thanks," I quickly made my way outside and settled into a chair.

I looked around, making sure no one I knew was around. Sure I was safe I reached into my pocket and pulled a pack of cigarettes out and popped one out and into my mouth. With the flick of my lighter I took a nice long drag, it had been far too long. I let out a long sigh and slumped into my seat as the nicotine slowly entered my system, a dumb smile growing on my face.

"Hey Stallion," I jumped up, nearly biting through and inhaling the cigarette. I started to turn around just as I felt something smooth run across the back of my neck sending each hair on end, "Easy there..." The mint green mare from last week, Lyra walked past me and plopped into the seat across from me, "How funny to see you here..."

"...In a cafe, Is it weird?" I said sliding my chair back a little, "Have you been stalking me?"

"What!? No...no...stalking is such a dirty word!" Lyra hurried her speech, forcing my chair towards her with her magic, "Now..."

"Vince?!" Sweetie ran out of the shop, "Vince!?" Oh thank the AllFather!

I quickly threw my cigarette on the ground and ground it under my heel, "Over here!" I yelled waving my arm.

Lyra looked quickly between myself and the oncoming mare, "Wait....with- I need to go..." She threw the chair back and ran off, grumbling something weird as she went.

The mare from behind the counter and Sweetie walked over, the mare slid a giant glass off her back on onto the table, "Enjoy." She added with a smile. Sweetie jumped up on the previously discarded chair and sucked the straw into her mouth and started downing the massive drink.

"who wass dat?" She mumbled without removing the straw.

"Just some weirdo." I watched Lyra as she walked away, taking a sip of my coffee, "Just some weirdo, anyways how's that taste, as sugary as it looks?"

"Mmmhmmm," Sweetie said bobbing her head.

I wiped my face, hiding my grin, "Enjoy it, it's least I could do concidering I might have ruined your chance to kill yourself in the barrens..." I gave a single laugh before falling into a groan, "That's not funny..." I settled into my seat as she drank her shake, "Sweetie stay here okay, I'm gonna go....do a thing." I got up from my chair and walked off past the shop a small ways.

I let the cigarette hang lazily in my mouth. My bliss interrupted by Sweetie Belle "Vince...you?" she rounded the corner of the shop, "You smoke?"

"Crap..." I tossed it back on the ground and stomped it out, "Yes...I smoke...it's a filthy, filthy, habit but I can't stop..." I walked over to her, "You done with your thing?" I asked, trying to deflect.

She looked up at me with equal parts betrayal and concern, "That's bad for you ya know..." Her face was breaking my heart, "You'll get sick...like grandpa..."

"...I- uh-...hmmm" I tried to speak, only able to open and close my mouth, deciding my words would fizzle, "Man...tell ya what, lets go do something fun, see if you can convince me to quit."

"Cutie mark crusaders life saver?" More like cutie mark crusaders guilt trip...

"Sure..." I said with a forced smile, "Lets get going." I went back and took the dishes back into the shop. After quickly cleaning up we set off towards the fillies clubhouse.

The walk up to the clubhouse was rather tedious, a long dirt path through an orchard. Things were really quite until a slightly raspy voice cut the stillness, "Sweetie Belle!" An orange filly popped her head out of the clubhouse window, "Where were you!?"

Sweetie ran over to the clubhouse ramp, "Sorry...I didn't think I'd be late," Her ears falling flat, "I brought someone though!" She chirped as she walked up the ramp.

The orange filly looked over at me, "Uh...hi?" I said, trying to be friendly.

Purple mane looked back at Sweetie, "Can we talk?" Sweetie looked around and quickly ran up the rest of the ramp and into the building.

The next few minutes were filled with arguing and shouts from inside the shack. Sweetie eventually popped her head out, "Vince...they said you can't come...members only...sorry..." Wow...her voice...my emotions will not listen to me around her.

"Aw...well, you gonna be okay on your own?" I asked flicking the pack of cigarettes in my pocket.

"Yeah, Oh wait!" She left the window and ran down the ramp and over to me, "Promise!"

"Huh?"

"Promise you wont smoke!" She stuck her hoof out, "Promise...and hug..."

"..." I felt my hand shoot to the new pack I bought, "...eh heh..." I whimpered, "I promise..." I reached into my pocket and crumpled the pack in front of her, "I promise..." There goes ten bits...god damn import prices... I tried equestrian cigarettes, not great. They tasted like burning hay.

"Hug, I'll be able to tell if you're lying." Sweetie shook her leg at me, "Do it."

I knelt down and held my arms out, the filly quickly latched on with both fore legs, her curly mane resting on the side of my head, "Now promise,"

"I-" I felt her squeeze my ribs, "-promise," I felt a quick squeeze and she let herself down, "So...did I pass?" I asked standing up.

She started back up the ramp, "Yes, you better remember though." She stepped into the clubhouse, "Tell Rarity I'll be home later!"

"Alright Sweetie, I'll see you around." I dusted myself off, "Stay outta trouble!"

"We will!" I started off back into town.

There was no way she was gonna stay out of trouble...but hopefully they knew better than to do anything life threatening...I hope.

I stepped back inside Rarity's store. I had passed the pawn shop again, the mare was still sleeping on the counter. "Rarity you in here?" I called out as I searched for her. I walked towards her workstation, "Rarity?" She wasn't in there, "Rarity?"

I walked around the shop, stopping at the sound of a low moan and a rather low buzz, "Rarity?" I walked towards the source of the noise. A nearby door was now softly emanating a steady moan, "Uh..." I tapped a few times on the door, "Rarity" There was a sharp gasp and what sounded like water splashing, "Uh...maybe I should go..." I leaned against the door to the it closed, "I just wanted to let you know: I left Sweetie with her friends, sorry if I...interrupted something...I'll leave your money on the counter." I started to push off the door when it gave way under my push and I ended up slamming my head into the tile floor of her bathroom.

I curled up in pain and started rocking on the floor, "It wasn't supposed to open in..." I groaned as I rolled on the floor. I dare not open my eyes due to the pain and the implications of what I might see.

I could hear the clacking of hooves on tile, "Vincent are you alright!?" Rarity asked over the sound of a steady drip.

"No!"

"...well...serves you right for interrupting a lady..." She sounded annoyed!? She's not the one who just cracked her head on the floor! "Are you really hurt?" She asked more sincere.

"Yes!" I shouted, my eyes popping open. Rarity was soaked, I guess my suspicions were at least partially confirmed.

"Oh dear....stay here," She ran off, returning a few seconds later with a bag of ice, "Here," She helped me to my feet. Just as I put my hand on her back to steady myself there came another sharp gasp, "Hello?" She called to the disembodied noise.

I quickly whirled around to face the window, Lyra.... She noticed I was staring at her and bolted.

"Hey!" I shouted nearly slipping again, "Hey! Don't you run!...arugh...." I quickly turned to Rarity, "Listen I need to get home...sorry about all this..." I made my way outside and towards Rose's shop, "Today was supposed to be a good day...not this..."

I had stumbled my way through town, my head still splitting from the impact. I stepped onto the threshold of Rose's shop and was immediately hit with the door. Lyra quickly ran out, ignoring me as she left, Crap....I hate it when I'm right I swung around the door and into the building "Rose?" I started searching the shop, "Rooooose!?"

"Get out!" Rose yelled from upstairs, "Just leave..." I hurried up the stairs, my steps resounding through the hall, "I know..."

I rounded a corner into her den, "What? You know what?" I shouted as I rounded the corner. She was laying, splayed on the sofa, "What did she tell you?"

"Ya know," She bit back a tear, "I had my suspicions." She looked up at me teary eyed, "But I wanted to hope..."

"What!?" I yelled, "What!? I don't even-"

"I think it would be best if you just go..." She managed to eek out before lowering her head back into the sofa.

"....this...what!?" I shouted leaning against the wall, "I just- what did Lyra tell you!?"

"She told me you....you and..." She was biting back tears, "About you and Rarity!....now please just go back to her, I'm sure you two will be very happy together...." she buried her face in the sofa.

"....you realize she's insane right!? What exactly did she tell you?" I asked, trying to calm down. I took a seat next to her.

"She said- she said..." Rose could barely fight through the tears, "You...and her....bathroom...I don't know..." I put my hand on the back of her neck and rubbed it lightly.

"You alright? Do you want me to explain?" I brought her chin across my lap, "I made a deal with Rarity...I help her and she does me a favor."

"What favor!? Lifting her tail!?" She shouted, lifting herself off me and staring me in the eyes, "Lyra told me about the bathroom."

"About how I cracked my head on the tile?...by the way...please don't shout...still hurts..." I moved her hoof to the spot on my head, she quickly started feeling around the spot on her own. "Ow....yeah...that wasn't a lie."

"Celestia....what happened?" She said running her hoof along the bump, my pain a decent trade for being proved innocent, "What did she do to you!?"

"Nothing...I slipped and slammed my head on the floor. Wasn't anyone's fault."

"But...Lyra said you and her were in the bathroom together..."

"Like I said, I made a deal with her, I watched her sister for her and when I got back she was in the bathroom. I slipped and smacked my head on the floor Rose...not...Odin...she's a friend and nothing else." She laid her head back down on my lap, I could see her eyes darting around.

"But...Lyra said-"

"Lyra has been stalking me." I let my hand fall on the top of her head, letting my hand run along her mane, "I promise you...nothing happened, I'm not even interested in her." I let my fingers comb through her mane, "What has gotten into you lately...the past few days you've-"

"I don't like you!" She said leaning her head into my chest into my chest, "You make me feel weird, you smell funny and it makes me feel weird...I don't like it." She nestled against my shirt even more, "I- you- you make me feel like a school filly." I could hear her take a deep breath while pressed against my stomach.

I don't even feel anything for Rose, but, I can't do this, but she'll kick me out. Man...this is screwed up.

Rose started to lift her head up, "I'm sorry...I don't want you to think this is the reason I let you stay...it's just..." She looked up at me, "...stop looking at me like that..." I felt her hips curl up, "Feels weird."

I just adjusted myself, a slight twinge of inadvertent excitement had forced its way through, "Uh huh...I think I'm going to change soaps."

"It's not that kind of smell..."

"Oh I know what kind of smell it is..." I said, adjusting myself again. This was growing uncomfortable.

There was a long pause between us, me trying to banish my erection and her curling onto my lap.

"I can feel it...it's bigger than it looked..."

I looked away and gave a quick cough, "Ehem...yep...so are we just gonna-"

"For now...maybe the rest of the night...depends on if I feel like it,"

"I don't have any say in this do I?" I asked with a stifled laugh.

"Do you want to keep staying here?" She nuzzled further against my gut.

"Great..." Think unsexy thoughts, thing unsexy thoughts! Grandma, dead kittens. She managed to crawl onto my entire lap and curl up. Either she knew and was teasing me or was completely oblivious but either way she managed to park her rump right on top of my tip. Dead puppies, car crashes, hippies, gore; come on work!

Eventually she settled down and stopped rustling. She had her nose planted against my gut, suspiciously tilted down. I waited until I could here her breathing slow and lifted her head over my leg so that it hung over. I let my hand run through her mane again, it was soft, like a plush doll. I could feel myself calming down and just sat enjoying the feeling of her coat and mane. It was a pleasant experience, not unlike petting a cat or dog, but with the added bonus of being able to show someone that you care, well, maybe not the way she wants, but still. She took me in off the street, I owe her this much.

I settled in and slowly drifted off. A warm body still laying on my lap, warmth radiating through my core and keeping me company. I had a strange moment of desire for vengeance on Lyra for making Rose worry like this. But, at least it confirmed my suspicions completely, she was a nutcase.

I ignored it and slowly slipped away, my fingers interlaced in her mane, my mouth hanging slightly agape, it was definitely a cozy night.