Coffee and Laughing Gas

by DegeTheMighty

Rating: teen
Tags: Bon-Bon, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Lyra
Length: 1241

Lyra and Bon Bon have stolen an experimental aircraft, and are being hunted by the local authorities of Starfall.

An experimental aircraft has been stolen by the notorious crime duo, Lyra and Bon Bon. As the Starfall military close in on them, Bon Bon begins to realize she's in the company of an idiot.

((This is basically a ponified version of a dream I had last night. I have no idea. Only difference: Replace Bon Bon with Brad Pitt, and Lyra with Tom Cruise))

Published 2013-10-13 04:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-13 04:40:05 UTC

This Is So Dumb

The captain's cry for action was dwarfed by the roar of their engines. The massive squadrons of urban fighters raced through the city, darting in between the tallest skyscrapers. The swift fliers dashed forth from every corner of the city, bent on hunting down their massive target.

The past seven years have been hell for the city of Starfall. With the recent rise of Discord, the city had felt the full brunt of the chaos he could create. Even with his defeat all those years ago, the fifty mile high city was still picking up the pieces. With rioting, looting, and general civil unrest manifesting even after Discord's capture, Equestria's military had to intervene on multiple occasions.

This was not one of those cases.

Starfall was finally on its own once more, and it had to deal with its more problematic citizens on their own. One of the notorious criminals, was actually two of them.

Lyra Heartstrings and Bon Bon.

The two of them had stirred up some serious chaos of their own. Stealing a prototype star ship, and using it to party across the nation. It was a flying palace, and a massive fortress. How the engineers ever got that hunk of metal to float was unknown.

Lyra was still stretching her head, as the beautifully black coffee fell into her mug. Her eyes were glossed over, dreading the sunlight bleeding the curtains. Once her mug was finally full, she cantered over to Bon Bon, sitting upon the pilot's chair. Like her, she wore she bath robe, having just woke up.

“Casual Friday already?” Lyra asked, taking an audible sip of her coffee.

“Had no time, we're being chased,” She said, with complete indifference.

“Oh okay.”

A dozen fighters closed in, and Lyra ducked under a desk. Without another comment, Bon Bon swat at the wheel, spinning it like a Vinyl Scratch record.

Lyra had an odd scent as she saw several fighters inch closer. The sound of crashing glasses resonated through the room, as canisters of laughing gas crashed upon the floor.

“Lyra! Take care of those!” Bon Bon shouted at her, as the mare in question was too busy throwing her coffee at one of their pursuers. The cup of Joe splattered against the windscreen, and the ship crashed into a nearby building, leveling it in a matter of seconds.

“Damn it Lyra! The canisters!” Bon shouted again, only to see her friend stuffing her face with one like a newborn foal to a bottle. The light blue mare collapsed on the floor, as her giggle fits began. The pain in her belly was threatening to tear her apart, if she didn't suffocate first.

“Are you fucking serious?”

The massive ship (and it's half sober, half laugh drunk crew) was reaching the end of its voyage. The fighters continued to poke and prod at them, like mosquitoes interrupting a tender moment between lovers.

They were near a small canal that lead into the sewers of the airborne city. A precisely timed moment would lead them to safety, but could mean death if they miss. The very welcoming sight of Twilight Sparkle greeted Bon Bon, as her face appeared on the screen, next to two vacant rogue fighters.

“Twi! Glad you could make to the party!” Bon hailed.

“Party? Is that Pinkie chasing you? And what's wrong with Lyra?” She asked, staring at the painfully giggling mare.

“Everything, now where can we set this baby down?”

“I was thinking the pavement would be a good place,” The unicorn suggested.

With no better place to land the cruiser, Bon Bon disregarded her advice, and tried to make splashdown in the canals beside her.

The ship was far too big, as it scrapped its massive hull across the concrete platforms. Inertia had its way, as it continued to race towards the entrance to the sewers. Grabbing the laughing mare, Bon Bon quickly jumped out of the window. A massive fall awaited her, as she cursed herself for making such a mistake.

Twilight was lucky enough to see them falling, and quickly caught the two with her magic, slowly bringing them down to her level. Bon Bon looked as indifferent as ever, while Lyra continued to laugh her plot off.

“Is there any way to stop her? It's getting annoying,” Twilight commented.

“Nope, let's just hurry before they realize I have drugs.”

* * *

The darkness encased her in a cocoon of loneliness. As her eyes opened, they could see little, but the dim light from inside her room. An irritating coat of sweat had covered her, no doubt to the heat wave that Ponyville was going through.

Poor Lyra's body ached from head to hoof, but the blame was easily placed on the couch. She tried to get comfortable once more, constantly throwing the blanket on and off, trying to find the perfect middle ground of warm and comfortable.

With a frustrated huff, she cast it aside. Her longing gaze fell once again towards the door to her own bedroom. It wasn't the light that held her attention captive, nor the delicious cool that was seeping from it. Rather it was the mare that she knew rested there. Her beautiful Bon Bon.

That night held a massive falling out between the two. Whether it was the heat, or some other source of discontent and agitation, Lyra knew that she didn't mean what she had said to the Earth Pony. She only hoped Bon Bon also regretted her words.

With a determined hoof, and a lust for the relaxing chill, she made her way to the door. As she turned the knob, the door gave way to a massive flood of light. Lyra groaned, as she shielded her face from the luminescent onslaught. Her eyes in pain, the rest of body shivered with the brilliant cool of the room enveloping her.

Lyra had thought she had woken up Bon Bon, by the way she suddenly jolted upright. Lyra couldn't help but notice by the look on her face, that she seemed to be sweating as well. But how? With this cold air?

As she drew closer to the bed, thankful that Bon Bon wasn't outright shouting at her anymore, she came to realize that the stains on her face wasn't from sweat.

But they were the distinctive sign of tears.

Lyra stopped a moment, after she gazed at the crying mare. Another surge of confidence raced through her, as she hopped onto her side of the bed. A looked of confusion came across Bon Bon's face. As Lyra made herself comfortable, she hesitated.

Placing an experimental hoof around Bon Bon's waist, she recoiled as her partner suddenly shifted position. Fearing a physical out lash, she shielded her face with her hooves.

Bon Bon's hooves however, found themselves wrapped around Lyra's necked, as the mare continued to sob into her chest, her tears staining her coat. Lyra returned the gesture, comforting her and calming her with soft hushes.

Bon Bon swiftly fell asleep, as Lyra planted a kiss on her forehead.

Author's Note

I wish I could have written something better, but with the fact that I have had no time to plan recently, this was the only thing that ran through my mind.

I don't really know what happened either, but it was worth it to see Tom Cruise get high on Laughing Gas.