Coronations are magic

All was beautiful within the city of Canterlot as ponies gathered from all around to pay their respects to the new princess.

"'Tis a fine day to usher in the new princess!" one pony in the massive crowd said to a mare carrying a young foal on a sling.

"Aye," Responded the colorful mare exuberantly. "'Tis a fine day, indeed!"

The sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon, below the mountainous terrain that could be seen way off in the distance from the town's high elevation, and the translucent clouds glowed orange in it's waning light. The day's slow transition to night was absolutely beautiful.

From out of the castle in front of which the crowd stood, the three princesses could be seen. Cadence, Luna, and Celestia herself all stood abreast from each other as they smiled down at their beloved subjects.

Princess Celestia stood at the center as they shared an inaudible conversation before she finally raised her hoof to the crowd, silencing them.

The congregation of subjects that stretched far beyond the boarders of the town remained ecstatic in anticipation as they knelt in supplication.

The princess then used her magic to enhance her vocal cords in order to utilize the royal Canterlot voice so she could be heard by everyone.

"Fillies and gentlecolts -- please rise to help me honor our new princess!"

Twilight Sparkle was slightly embarrassed as she could now be seen approaching the railing of the balcony from below.

The crowd remained silent as they beheld her with wide eyes in all her benevolent glory. Twilight Sparkle smiled down at them as her lavender coat shined with rays of immaculate light. A platinum crown with shimmering jewels adorned her royal head as she graciously bowed to them.

The crowd burst with cheers and ovation. The ground thundered and rumbled with clops of approval, and many cried openly with tears of over joy.

The newly crowned princess forced back her own joyful tears as she addressed them.

"My royal subjects -- in all my years I could never have anticipated reaching such a milestone in my entire life. I want you all to know that I truly love you all -- and I plan to rule with the respect and fairness you all deserve."

The crowd broke out with even more cheers of mirth, admiration, an approval.

Celestia couldn't help but think something about Twilight Sparkle was off as the lavender mare's lips slowly stretched into an even wider smile. She then looked to the west and noticed dark storm clouds approaching. Such strange weather for summer, she thought before turning her attention back to her star pupil as she was now getting ready to speak again.

"I have accepted my new title as princess in the hopes that i could make you all happy, and continue Celestia's reign of peace and prosperity -- but I have something better in mind. Better than peace. Better than all the money and materialistic indulgences in the world. It will be my gift to you all."

Luna, Cadence, and Celestia traded confused glances with each other, not remembering if this was part of her speech.

The sea of cheering ponies slowly became silent in wonderment. What could be better than peace and prosperity? What could this 'gift' possibly be? Some noticed the approaching storm clouds and remained stone-silent in curiosity as they pondered their meaning.

"Do not take this gift lightly, my royal subjects," Twilight continued, standing on her hind legs and lifting her forelegs erect to the sky. "I assure you: it's something to die for."

A wave of unsettling fear and suspicion was now washing over the crowd as they all looked at the ominous clouds, then to each other, hoping for some kind of explanation to these sudden bizarre occurrences.

Cadence finally spoke up as a feeling of fear welled within her. "Twilight Sparkle... What are you about?"

Twilight Sparkle then slowly turned her head one hundred and eighty degrees to beam a twisted smile at her fellow princess, her neck cracking and popping in a ghastly, unsettling chorus.

"Candy bars," she whispered in the voice of a young child before twisting her head back around the other way, completing a three hundred and sixty degree interval.

Princess Twilight Sparkle looked to the sky, satisfied that the clouds overhead had completely blacked out the sky. Now, it was time for her to deliver her gift to her people.

"It is not peace and prosperity that I give to you, o sycophants and degenerated freeloaders of the kingdom, but something that will serve you much better, if not in this life, then most certainly in the next."

There was only complete silence throughout the entire crowd. Every ponies' face was now contorted and twisted in confusion -- some in fear.

"My loyal subjects," Twilight sparkle said as her mouth stretched to an ear-to-ear smile, her ear twitched, then her eyes became wide as tears began to stream down her face.

"DIIIIIIIIICKS!" her voice rumbled throughout the entire city like thunder as the clouds above them rained a volley of dildos.

Some hard, some floppy, some red, some purple, some made of fire, some made of ice. Any one who was struck directly with the deadly rain of falling sex toys were impaled and killed instantly.

Screams of terror echoed from all around as the crowd dispersed in terror, trampling over one another and trying to scream out for loved ones who were now lost in the chaos.

"Diiiiiiiiiiicks!" Twilight sparkle's voice once again rumbled before she opened her mouth at a length that was far to wide to be natural, and a torrent of not dozens, not hundreds, or thousands, or even millions, but billions of flies spewed forth and engulfed the crowd as the literal cock-storm of death rained down on them.

The psychotic princess then fell to her back and rubbed her face with her hooves as her eyes remained wide and never-blinking with a look of euphoric bliss.

"Twilight Sparkle's gone mad!" Cadence yelled as twilight sparkle rolled about in an orgasmic fit of mania.

She suddenly propped her self up, looked back at Cadence with a vicious scowl, then told her, "I'm actually quite happy, thank you!" before tearing open a portal that lead to a Japanese tentacle monster above her. A squiggly looking tendril shot forth, ensnared the princess, then dragged her into it's world as she kicked and screamed the entire way. Luna and Celestia followed in an attempt to rescue her, but Twilight Sparkle closed the portal back home to Equestria behind them, trapping them forever in the realm with the lascivious predator.

Twilight Sparkle stood back at the front of the balcony and surveyed the spiraling phallic tornadoes off in the distance, which she would from this day on refer to as 'dicknados.' She looked to the moon that now raised and took on the appearance of Nicholas Cage's 'you don't say' face, and then looked to the never ending rain of sex toys that fell from the sky. She could hear the sloshing sounds of the rivers of blood that were being washed away into the sewer grates around the city, and she sighed deeply, taking in the intoxicating view of the bodies of the dead that were littered around as far as the eye could see as the flies she had spewed forth consumed their carrion flesh. She smiled before bowing graciously. "Thank you," she said to her dead subjects as she once again shed tears of joy. "Thank you all."