Rage Against the Memes

by TheGLQwardvark

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 6771

The forces of the internet are unleashed on the mane-six; taxing their nerves, wit and patience.

The forces of the internet are unleashed on the mane-six; taxing their nerves, wit and patience. Can the elements of Harmony win over the elements of Rage? Can they face their pasts with strength and honor? Or are they doomed to lose their Elements forever? Only the trolls will tell...

Published 2012-03-03 12:04:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-03-07 02:44:46 UTC

Chapter 1: Taste the Rainbow Part 1

Author’s Note: Wow. I wrote this all today. I can’t believe I did that. Anyways, here’s the second installment. Thanks to Bronymaster for editing and pre-reading. I hope you enjoy.

Rage Against the Memes

Ch. 1: Taste the Rainbow Pt. 1

As Celestia’s sun began its ascent, Lyra walked out into the center of town, ready for another day of doing what she loved, playing her harp. She picked up the stringed instrument with delicacy, stood on her hind legs and began to strum lightly. The gentle sound filled the air and passing ponies stopped for a bit to listen. More and more villagers came out of their homes and surrounded Lyra. Then, with enough ponies gathered around, the harpist sped up. A cascade of notes rushed from her instrument and washed over the spectators. She quickened the pace even more; her hoof now a blur as it danced across the strings. It even seemed as though her hoof had split into five individual hooves, each striking the cords with accuracy and grace. Anypony watching closely would have sworn that the golden lyre had caught ablaze. Her audience let out a collective gasp at the sight followed by a loud ovation, as they cheered her on.

“Right, just about time for the grande finale," Lyra thought with a smile.

She slowed down the tempo for a few seconds, causing the audience to lean towards her in anticipation for whatever she was planning.

Lyra raised her hoof high into the air, holding it above the lyre’s trick string, which Lyra had added magic to in order to increase the volume of the note it produced. As she did, she felt her harp get significantly hotter. While her hoof fell to the string, she noticed a focused beam of light hitting her instrument. Her hoof struck the string and she thought, “Well buck..."

What resulted was a sound that blew the crowd and Lyra over, their forehooves covering the sides of their heads in agony. Lyra was the first to recover. She stood back up and looked for the source of the light beam. Looking across the sky she spotted a shaking cloud with a small grin, two magenta eyes and a rainbow colored tail situated right in front of the sun.

“Rainbow Dash,” Lyra said in a low voice, narrowing her eyes.

A cyan pegasus popped out of the cloud. She looked at the mass of ponies still clutching their heads, stifled a snicker and dashed off in the direction of a nearby lake. While she fled a small magnifying glass fell from her mouth.

“RAINBOW DASH,” Lyra shouted, waving her fis…, (er I mean), hoof towards the cloud.

Rainbow Dash touched down on the shore of the lake and collapsed in a huge fit of laughter. She rolled around the dew covered grass, snorting as she remembered the look on Lyra’s face. She made a raspberry, rolled over to her stomach and started pounding the ground with her hoof.

“Still, the same ol’ prankster as ever, huh Dash?” a solemn voice remarked.

Rainbow Dash looked up and recoiled at the sight of the most bizarre-looking pegasus that she’d ever seen. The pony’s body was abnormally large compared to its head and was flat, shooting up and down creating a vertical wall. Its pink coat was sprinkled with dots of varying color. Its mane was a mix between grey and brown. The pegasus’s muzzle was pushed back a bit and its mouth formed the shape of an inverted Y. The most bizarre feature however were the pony’s cutie marks, or in this case, pair of marks. On the pony’s flanks there were large Xs placed over a set of faded unidentifiable cutie marks. Next to the faded pair, there were images of a shiny metal box with two slots at the top a lever on the front and a black rope coming from the back.

“Um… do I know you?” asked Rainbow Dash, still cringing from the sight of the pony.

The pony looked offended from the question. “Of course you do. It’s me! Don’t you remember back when we were in flight ac…” she looked at her torso and sighed, “Oh, right. I guess I don’t quite look the same. Just call me Nyeigh for now.”

“All right then. (What a weirdo),” Rainbow replied warily. “So what can I do for ya?”

"Nothing, I just wanted to hang out with an old friend. You know, pull some pranks together, eat cupcakes... race each other." Nyeigh said the last part with a glint in her eye.

"A race? You bet! Where are we starting from, and where is the finish?" Rainbow suddenly seemed excited, and forgot all about the strange behavior of her opponent.

“The south edge of the lake to the top of those mountains out there and back.” replied Nyeigh.

“You’re on!”

The two flew over to the south bank of the lake and dug their back hooves into the dirt, readying themselves for takeoff. Had somepony been watching the two, they would have run from the sheer magnitude of the tension between them.
Nyeigh opened her muzzle and begun the countdown, “Three…”

Rainbow continued, “Two…”

A loud boom resonated through the area causing both pegasi to jump, startled. Rainbow shook it off and leaped into the air, arcing over the lake. Nyeigh recovered as well and popped up, following Rainbow with speed equal to the cyan pegasus’s.

Rainbow was feeling great today. Throughout her body adrenaline surged as she put on more speed. Her wings were creating winds so strong that it bent the trees of the Everfree Forest as she passed overhead. “Nopony could keep up with me at this speed,” she thought, exuding confidence.

She turned around to see how far she was in front of her opponent. What she saw caused her to come to a screeching halt and hover in midair.

There was nopony following her...

“Boo.”

Rainbow whipped her head around. Her mouth fell open at the sight of a rather amused looking Nyeigh.

“So long Dashie!” the pink pegasus shot off, a sparkling rainbow trail following her as she went.

Rainbow’s jaw fell so low that it looked like it would fall off entirely. “But I, then she, then I, but…Grr!!!” she exclaimed before zooming after that flying wall of a pony.

She caught up with Nyeigh, but only after a few minutes of strenuous flapping. The two stared each other in the eyes, Nyeigh smiling while Rainbow scowling. Suddenly a massive looming object cast a shadow over the pair. They looked up to see the face of the mountain coming up on them. They broke the face-off and turned upwards, flying parallel to the mountain side. Looking over at her nemesis, Rainbow could see Nyeigh struggling as she tried to fly up the almost 90° angle. All of Nyeigh’s extra surface area caused gravity to affect her more than the average pegasus. Still she kept up the same pace as her opponent, much to Rainbow’s shock. “How in Equestria is she keeping up with me? That's it, time to bring out the big guns.”

The two circled around the peak and began the descent back down the mountain. Rainbow tucked in her legs and stuck her muzzle out. She beat her wings harder and faster, gaining velocity at an exponential pace. She glanced over at Nyeigh and, for what seemed like the fiftieth time today, dropped her jaw at what she saw. Nyeigh was flying upside down, her body barely avoiding the side of the mountain. She had also tucked in her legs and stuck out the stump of a muzzle she had. Rainbow tried to figure out what this mean and came up with only one solution; a solution that made her pale when she realized it. “No...It's not possible. It can't be”

“NO!! I WON’T LET YOU WIN!!!!” Rainbow screamed as she pulled off the world’s first ever horizontally launched Sonic Rainboom.

A huge smiled appeared on her face as she shot towards the lake. “HA!! Take that!” she yelled back to her opponent.

“The win? I’ll gladly accept it,” a familiar voice purred from in front of Rainbow.

Rainbow’s pupils shrank as the pink pegasus passed by, giving off her own slightly tanned rainbow trail. Soft tinkling noises followed Nyeigh as she easily overtook Rainbow. Nyeigh arrived at the lake a good five seconds before Rainbow reached the southern bank, slowly stopping and lightly touching down with a dejected look on her face.

“Well, thanks for that Dashie. It was just like old times,” Nyeigh said with a smile both on her face and in her voice.

Rainbow sat down, “I lost… How in the hay could I lose?”

Nyeigh cantered over to the defeated pegasus, “Don’t worry Dashie. You could redeem yourself, ya know.”

Rainbow’s ears perked up. She quickly got up, raring for a rematch, “How? Are we racing again? I’ll totally school you this time!”

Nyeigh’s smile dropped and was replaced with a sullen frown, “Please Dashie. Don’t mention school.”

Rainbow, though she believed that she should at least get an explanation for the change in mood, simply nodded her head in compliance.

Nyeigh’s smile returned, surprisingly fast. She turned to Rainbow and said, “Allow me to tell you a bit about Equestria’s history. A couple hundred years ago, there lived an unicorn named Trotl. Ed Trotl to be precise. Anyways, this unicorn was a loyal servant to Princess Celestia. So loyal that she gave him…”

“Can you cut to the chase, already?” Rainbow said, “I’m falling asleep here.”

Nyeigh shook her head and smiled sadly, “Never did like history didja Dashie? Well, in that case I’ll get to the point. I’m not here for a visit, unfortunately. I’m here to give you a test; a trial if you will.”

“Uh-huh,” responded Rainbow, a skeptical look on her face, “What kind of a test?”

“Oh, you’ll see.”

“And if I refuse?”

Sadness covered Nyeigh’s visage, “I’m afraid you have no choice but to accept. Same with your friends.”

Rainbow snarled, “What about my friends?”

“Yeah. They’ll have their own trials over the next couple days,” Nyeigh said with a shrug. “For right now, you should probably focus on your own, Dashie.”

Rainbow leapt into the air and took off for Ponyville. Nyeigh easily caught up with her and blocked her path. Rainbow changed directions, trying to go up and over the breathing airblock. Nyeigh stopped her again. Rainbow tried and tried to get around the obstruction, but she was unable to and eventually fell to the ground, exhausted from the rapid succession of short bursts of energy that turning required from her.

Nyeigh landed on the ground and muttered under her breath something that sounded like, “th…k cel…ia for tr…’s mag..”
She walked over to Rainbow and carried the exhausted pegasus to the water’s edge on her back. Rainbow took a quick drink of the lake’s water and said in a small voice, “Thanks.”

“No prob, Dashie,” Nyeigh’s smile returned. “So are you ready?”

“I guess,” the cyan pegasus replied.

“Right. Let’s go then,” still carrying Rainbow, Nyeigh flew off into the Everfree Forest.

A Few Minutes Later
Nyeigh landed in a small clearing of flowers surrounded by trees on all sides. She set Rainbow down on a patch of irises. Then, after looking around the clearing, she began to scrunch up her face and concentrated. Rainbow watched with awe as Nyeigh’s wings began to glow as what looked like magical energy built up in the pegasus’s feathers. Six feathers suddenly flew from her wings and shot into the trees as if magnetically repelled from each other. A gray barrier began surrounding the clearing. Nyeigh looked down at Rainbow smugly.

“How did you do that?!” Rainbow asked, not believing her eyes. “You’re a pegasus right? How can you perform magic?”

“You’ll find out in due time, Dashie,” Nyeigh responded.

“You say that a lot, don’t you?”

Nyeigh just shrugged for her answer. She concentrated again for another spell. However, this time the magic didn’t appear in her wings, but on Rainbow’s wings instead. Rainbow gasped as her wings snapped in against her body, tightly folding themselves in. Rainbow now was unable to move, due to both the barrier and her inability to use her wings.

“Hey what are you doing?!” she asked with a hint of panic.

“This is necessary for the trial. Are you fully prepared?” Nyeigh responded.

Rainbow sarcastically said back, “Don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

“All right. But before we begin, I need to tell you what’ll happen if you fail. Okay, Dashie?”

“Ummm…I guess?”

Nyeigh, with a despondent tone, told this to Rainbow, “You’ll lose both your title as the Element of Loyalty and your relationships with the other Elements.”

Rainbow’s body shook as the news hit home. “WHAATTTT!!!!!! WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!!!!!!! NO WAY, NO BUCKIN’ WAY!!!!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!"she thrashed and flung herself at the walls of the barrier.

“Sorry Dashie, no can do,” Nyeigh said looking down in sadness.

“WELL, I'LL JUST PASS THIS BUCKIN' TEST OF YOURS AND THEN I'LL KICK YOUR FLANK!!!!"

“Seems like you’re ready. Right here’s the trial. You have to… sit there and listen to this song,” Nyeigh said calmly as a song, which sounded like it was coming from the pink pegasus herself,

“And that’s it?” Rainbow asked incredulously.

“Well, not quite,” Nyeigh said with a shy tone. “You have to listen to it continuously for a full day.”

“WHAT???!!!!” Rainbow looked shocked at the cruel torture she had to endure.

“Yeah. So good luck with that, Dashie,” Nyeigh walked past Dash. As she did, Nyeigh softly said, “You still want to see my Blue Horizons?”

Rainbow shuddered in realization as she was asked this, watching Nyeigh settle in some flowers nearby.

“Arty? Arty is that you?” Rainbow asked, tears coming to her eyes.

To Be Continued: Taste the Rainbow Pt. 2

Chapter 2: Taste the Rainbow Part 2

Author's Note: Hi everypony! Sorry for the wait. I had school and other things going on. Thanks to BronyMaster for editing and pre-reading and thanks to pegasista23 for being awesome!! Well, here we go!

Rage Against the Memes

Chapter 2: Taste the Rainbow Part 2

“Ow!” yelped Rainbow Dash as a spitball hit her in the left ear. She whipped her head around looking for the soon-to-be-deceased pegasus. She glared at the snickering brown pegasus colt who sat two desks down and was holding a red straw in his muzzle.

“Hey, Dumb Bell!” she called out to the prankster. He looked at Rainbow, still chuckling slightly. What he saw then froze him to his core. Rainbow had picked up her copy of Our Past, Present and Future: A Brief History of Equestria Under Celestia’s Reign, all thousand pages, and hurled it in the colt’s direction. Dumbell barely dodged the textbook, letting the projectile to pass through the cloud wall of the classroom and fall to the solid ground far beneath Cloudsdale.

“Rainbow Dash and Dumb Bell see me after school for an hour of detention,” sternly said the teacher, Lightning Feather, who had entered the room as the book left.

Dumb Bell pointed one of his hooves to Rainbow and asked, “Why me? I’m not the one who tried to kill somepony!”

“Well, I’m pretty sure that you’re responsible for this?” Lightning pointed at the wad of saliva-soaked paper that now lied under Rainbow’s chair and raised an eyebrow.

The young colt protested, “How do you know that somepony else didn’t do that?”

Lightning snorted, looking around the room, “You expect me to believe that Derpy did it? Don’t tell me you want me to believe that Fluttershy did it?!” he raised a hoof to his muzzle in mock surprise.

Both Dumb Bell and Lightning looked over at the little butterscotch-colored pegasus who was shaking in the back row.

“Um… I guess not?” Dumb Bell asked cautiously.

Lightning nodded, “You guessed right. Now get back in your seat, before I punt you back.” Rainbow snickered to herself as the colt sat down; his head hung low. Lightning shot her a look, shutting up the cyan pegasus.

Lightning then walked up to the front of the room and cleared his throat. “Students, I’d like to start the class by introducing a new student. She just moved here from Windver, so please be nice to her while she gets settled in.” He turned to the door, “You can come in now.” From the hall, the head of a dark pink pony peeked in. “Don’t be scared,” Lightning said softly.

The pony walked through the door and stood in front of the class, looking nervously around the room at the other colts and fillies. She was a chubby pegasus with wings that were a bit too small for her body. Her mane was primarily grey, but there were speckles of every color imaginable sprinkled across the unkempt hairs. On her flank, she had the cutie mark of an artist’s palette. She seemed shy, as she pawed at the floor and didn’t say a word.

“Go on. Introduce yourself,” said Lightning, nudging the pegasus.

She opened her muzzle and said in a small voice, “Hello, everybody. My name is Arty Tartsly.”

“Hello Arty,” everypony responded in a single bland tone.

Arty paused. She didn’t expect a response, albeit an involuntary one. “Umm…” she continued, “Well, as Mr. Feather already said, I just moved here from the junior flight school in Windver, and um well…” She put on a determined expression, “I hope I can become friends wi*squeak*.” She stopped abruptly and turned deep red, blushing from her recurring nervous habit.

The small classroom was soon filled with the laughter of the young pegasi students (save Fluttershy for obvious reasons, Derpy who was silently focusing on her book and a certain cyan filly who was mesmerized with the new student’s multicolored mane).

“All right class, settle down now,” Lightning told his students. “There’s nothing funny about a pony's speech problems. Thank you Miss Tartsly, you may take your seat. Now, everyone take out your history book and turn to the section on the Ponic Wars.” He began to read aloud droning on about the Battle of the Equates Islands.

Arty slumped over to an empty desk next to the window in the back row. Rainbow stared at her as she sat down, her head in her hooves. A folded piece of paper landed on Rainbow’s desk. Raindrops, the jasmine pegasus who sat to her right, pointed over to Dumbell who was whistling and looking around innocently. Rainbow picked up the note and read the funny joke that was written on it, and laughed. She then quickly stuffed the note in her saddle bag that was lying on the floor.

Lightning, not even looking up from his textbook said, “Rainbow Dash, fifteen more minutes of detention.”

Rainbow sat in the almost empty detention hall, leaning her elbows on the desk, her hooves pushing her cheeks against her face. “This is sooooo borrrrrrring!!!" she thought. She looked at the clock which hung above the door. “Only five more minutes, you can make it,” she said steeling her resolve.

Lightning looked up at the filly, who had now begun to rock back and forth in her chair, and smiled, “Guess I can’t keep you from your calling any longer, huh?" He stood up and walked over to the door, “Dash I think you’ve learned your lesson, am I right?”

“Does that mean I can go?!,” the young pegasus jumped up with a huge smile.

Lightning laughed, “Yeah, I guess so.” His face once again became stern, “But, I will not be so lenient next time, got it?”

“Yessir!” the cyan pegasus saluted.

“Then get out of here,” Lightning threw a salute of his own as the filly dashed out the door.

As Rainbow ran into the hall and headed for the flying course, she heard soft crying coming from behind her. Curious she ran to find the source of the sobs. As she ran the crying grew louder and was soon accompanied by angry voices. “Well, what are you gonna do about it?” she heard one of the voices say.

When Rainbow turned the corner she came upon a shaking Arty surrounded by Dumb Bell and his goons, Hoops and Score. An empty tube of paint was lying next to the misty-eyed filly. The cloud floor and three colts, who were fuming, were covered in blue. “Oh colt,” thought Rainbow. She dashed over and stood in front of the pudgy, pink pegasus.

“Stop it you guys,” Rainbow snarled, lowering her head as if ready to charge. “I’m sure it was just an accident,” she continued as Arty nodded quickly in affirmation.

“No way. I saw it. She totally meant it! She came charging around the corner!” Hoops whined. Arty shook her head, quickly denying the accusation.

“You saw her?” Rainbow asked skeptically. “How? With your hair you couldn’t see three hooves in front of your face.” Score, the most silent of the three, snickered. Hoops tried to think of an explanation for this contradiction, but shrugged after he failed to come up with one.

Dumb Bell stepped forwards, leaning over the two fillies, “It doesn’t matter. All that matters is that Arty, or should I say, Farty,” he looked back at his accomplices with a sneer, “got paint all over us. And I think we deserve a little payback.”
He flicked his head at his cronies and the three began to walk towards the fillies, fury in their eyes. Rainbow braced herself for a fight, pawing the floor in readiness as the colts got closer. Dumb Bell raised a hoof to strike and Arty let out a small *meep*, shivering harder than before. The brown colt swung downwards…

And was stopped by a long arm that reached over the three colts, catching his hoof as it fell. The bullies turned and paled at the sight of a very irate Lightning Feather.

Dumb Bell began to sweat, “Oh, um hi Mr. Feather!” He looked back at the still deeply breathing Rainbow who was now shielding Arty under her wing. Dumb Bell, who was drenched in his perspiration, said feigning innocence, “This isn’t what it looks like. We were…um…”

“Playing hide and seek! And there they are! Looks like we win!” piped up Hoops, smiling at his clever lie. Dumb Bell face-hooved at his friend’s stupidity and Score snickered again.

“Oh are you?” replied Lightning in a strangely calm tone.

Hoops nodded excitedly, “Yeah. We were all having a good time, ‘til you came.”

Lightning raised an eyebrow, “Oh, don’t let me stop you,” he said mockingly. “You know what? I’ll join your game.”

Dumb Bell and Score looked at each other in surprise. “Really?” Hoops asked enthusiastically.

Lightning smiled venomously, “Of course. But I’ll be the seeker, okay?” Dumb Bell and Score gave one small shake of their head, while their friend nodded vigorously. Lightning sneered, “Excellent. Now I’ll count to twenty and the three of you go run and hide.” His voice became suddenly low and deadly, “And do try to make sure I can’t find you.” He turned around, covered his eyes with his hoof and began counting, “One…Two…Three…” each number given a more deadly tone.
Dumb Bell’s eyes dilated in fear and he quickly ran down the hall, so fast that he almost broke the sound barrier. His cohorts followed soon after and within ten seconds the colts had left the school’s premises.

“Fourteen…,” Lightning looked up. Noticing that the colts had left he scowled and muttered, “They’d better run.” He looked back at the two fillies. Rainbow was blushing as a weeping Arty now had her in a tight hug, her forehooves crushing the cyan pony’s ribs. “Thank you, thank you, thank you,” Arty moaned through tears. Rainbow looked behind her back, embarrassed by the emotional display, “It wasn’t a big deal. Now wouldja please let go of me?” she asked, pushing against the pitiful pink pony. “I’ve got somewhere to be.”

Lightning walked over to the pair. “Go on don’t keep him waiting any longer. I’ll take it from here.” He managed to pull Arty off of Rainbow. Arty latched her forehooves around the teacher, who began to stroke her mane, calming her down. Rainbow gave him a small “thank you” and zoomed off to the flying course.

Mist Wing waited patiently for his flight-practice partner. The white-coated colt had heard that she had detention, again, so he decided to wait until she was done. Mist didn’t mind though. He spent each school day waiting for these practices; he could for a bit more. "Like it's really the practices you love,” he thought to himself, his cheeks becoming slightly red. Noticing a cyan streak heading towards him, Mist straightened out his mane and regained his composure, getting rid of the blush.

Rainbow rushed out onto the track, breathing heavily. She landed on the cloud next to Mist’s and raised both hooves, in a pleading gesture, “Sorry about that. I was in detention.”

Mist shook his head, a little smile on his muzzle, “No problem. Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked as he noticed Rainbow looking down, deep in thought. She looked at him, a confused expression plastered on her face. “I wonder if Arty is going to be okay?” she thought. The filly quickly shook her downcast visage off, replacing it with a wide smile, “Just thinking about how much I’m going to beat you by today.”

Mist returned the grin, replying, “I don’t know. I’m feeling really good today. Maybe it’ll be my lucky day.”

Rainbow lowered her head, and leaned forward, preparing for takeoff, “You’ll need more than luck to keep up with me. Ready? Three…” Mist settled into starting position, “Two…” Rainbow's tongue poked through the corner of her mouth and she narrowed her eyes in concentration. “GO!” Rainbow exclaimed, both she and her rival taking off at the same speed.

Rainbow pulled ahead slightly within seconds. No matter how many times she experienced it, flight always amazed her; the sheer force of the wind pushing against her as she whizzed through the air, the exhilarating feeling of power as she controlled of the skies, moving effortlessly through the atmosphere. But her favorite part would have to be the sight of the vast never-ending vibrant blue sky that surrounded Equestria. “This is my home,” she silently said.

Mist, who had been gaining on her, heard this and smiled. “Maybe today really will be my lucky day,” his face was suddenly steeled with resolve. He tilted his body to the left, going closer to the cyan filly. He began blushing and said, “Hey Dash?” They both pulled into a nosedive, signifying the end of their race.

The filly looked back at him, peering over her wings, “Yeah Mist?”

“There’s something I want to tell you…” Mist began breathing harder out of nervousness. “Come on you can do this, she’s right there,” he told himself, lowering his voice.

“What Mist?” Rainbow said, leaning her head back to listen.

“IthinkIlikeyou,” Mist blurted blushing furiously.

Rainbow rolled her eyes, “I like you too.”

Mist realized what she meant by that and quickly said, “No not like that. I LIKE like you.”

Rainbow’s eyes widened until they practically took up half of her face. Her mind went on overdrive trying to process this confession. She looked back at Mist to see if he was lying, but when she turned she only saw Mist hovering in place yelling and pointing towards something in front of her, “DASH WATCH OUT!!!”

Rainbow Dash whipped her head back around and found a pillar of stone waiting for her. She screamed and crashed into the hard column and began plummeting, free-falling to the surface of Equestria below. As her eyes closed, she felt herself caught by another pegasus, identified by his wings, and heard “DASH!!! DASH!!!” Then all went pitch black, pain grabbed Rainbow into the dark abyss on unconsciousness.

“Hey, are you even listening?”

Rainbow snapped out of her trance. She looked at the huge mare that sat in the grass across from her, “How long since we started?” she asked, groaning as her mind re-focused on the music (if anypony could call it that).

Nyeigh smiled. “Two hours,” she replied letting a small purr escape her lips.

Rainbow could’ve fainted, if it weren’t for that infernal song pounding her eardrums back into her skull, on and on, the same thing over and over. “GAH!!!” Rainbow yelled as she began to struggle against the tart pegasus’s magic. However it had the opposite effect as her wings only wrapped tighter around her body.

Nyeigh sighed, “You shouldn’t have done that, Dashie.”

The song grew louder and Rainbow covered her head with her hooves, foam forming on her muzzle. “MAKE IT STOP!!! OH DEAR CELESTIA, MAKE IT STOP!!! IT’S SO BUCKIN’ ANNOYING!!!” Rainbow wailed.

Nyeigh became furious. She got up and ran over to where Rainbow laid, “You hate my music! You hate my paintings! WHY DID WE EVER BECOME FRIENDS BACK THEN?!!” The pink pegasus breathed heavily through her nose, filled with rage at her captive audience.

Rainbow looked at her, anger filling her own eyes, “I LOVED YOUR PAINTINGS ARTY! WHAT I HATED WAS WHAT THEY WERE DOING TO YOU!!"

Nyeigh shook her head forcefully, “I don’t buy that, Dashie. I don’t BUCKIN' BUY THAT” she yelled, causing Rainbow to jump.

“Umm… hello? Is somepony there?” a soft voice called out from outside the barrier.

Both Nyeigh and Rainbow whipped their head to the direction of the new voice. Nyeigh frowned and Rainbow smiled at what they saw. “Fluttershy??/!!” they said at the same time, one excited, the other saddened by the sight of their friend.

The flitting butter-colored pegasus trotted up to the edge of the barrier, cautiously craning her neck to watch out for dangers. “Umm… Is somepony there?” she asked again, a little bit louder this time.

Rainbow yelled to the animal caretaker, “Hey, Fluttershy! Help me out here! Can’t you see me?!” Fluttershy just tilted her head and gently hit her ear, making sure it was working okay. “Rainbow Dash?! Is that you?” she asked looking around aimlessly. She walked closer to edge of the barrier. Closer and closer until she touched the barrier…

Suddenly Fluttershy spun around and began following a trail of spiders. Rainbow looked at Nyeigh, a question forming on her lips. Nyeigh put her forehoof up, “I know what you’re going to ask. This barrier makes Anypony who touches it will recoil from it and go on doing whatever it was that they were doing previously. Gotta make sure no one disturbs us, right Dashie?” Nyeigh finished with a wink, before settling back onto her patch of flowers.

“UGH!” Rainbow exclaimed. She flopped back on the grass and felt the trance from before begin to glaze over her eyes, drawing her back to her past.

Section I: To Be Concluded

Prologue: Jus' Dun Derped

Author’s Note: This is my first attempt at any type of creative writing. The chapters following this one will be significantly longer. I’m not sure how frequently I’ll be able to write and post the chapters, but I hope to have a new one each 3-4 days. Thanks to Bronymaster for pre-reading and editing. Anyways I hope you enjoy.

Rage Against the Memes

Prologue: Just Dun’ Derped

As the sun set that one fateful afternoon, a grey pegasus hurried to her final stop, bouncing along the tops of the clouds, eager get home after a hard day of work. Canterlot Castle came into view and Derpy let out a sigh of relief. Today’s route had taken twice as long as the norm; she had stopped for directions four times and had gotten herself stuck in the straw roof of a house that she had crashed into on the outskirts of the Everfree Forest.

Her stomach rumbling, the mailmare thought to herself, "I wonder what Dinky would like for dinner tonight. Maybe a salad of fresh picked daisies and wild flowers, or maybe a bowl of vine pasta, or maybe even one or two muf…"she stopped suddenly, catching sight of a certain, rather appetizing-looking cloud formation.

Her brain starting churning (one could almost hear the cerebral groans). "No, i-it couldn’t be. Are those..?" With a wide grin, she realized where she had seen that shape before. Both her eyes locked onto the cloud as she began to drool, practically most of her body’s water supply leaving her mouth.

She turned her line of flight towards the cloud, and with a loud yell of “MUUUFFFIIINNNSS!!!!,” she charged, leaving a trail of bubbles as she nearly broke the sound barrier to get to the faux baked goods. She passed through the fluffy cloud and kept straight on going, unable to brake due to the condensation that had gathered on her wings. As she plummeted, the grey mare thought "I just don’t know what went wrong…," and pouted, musing on how she had ended up in this situation.

Shears McBush had just three more days until retirement, until he didn’t have to spruce up the royal garden. Not that he hated the job; on the contrary it was his life’s calling. He had inherited the job from his father and him from his own. He had just gotten too old to keep up with the hours of care that the garden needed from him. Although slightly bitter, Shears had decided that a younger stallion from a different family would be better suited for the job.

"Besides," he thought with a smirk, "Celestia’s gotten bored with me, I know all her tricks. She doesn’t need a plaything that can predict her pranks like I can." he thought as he rubbed his flank remembering one particularly painful prank involving some stomach laxative and a snake.

Scowling at the memory, the clay-colored earth stallion picked up his trusty Sadl hedge clippers and set to work on his piece de resistance, a 100 hoof tall statue of the royal highness herself. ‘WHHOOMMPPHH.” He had just begun crafting the statue’s leafy do when he was knocked off the ladder by a grey streak that shot from the sky like a cannonball. Shears and the grey streak, which he had identified as a grey mare, catapulted through the air towards the Princesses’ garden statue gallery.

He braced himself for the crash, clutching the mare to his chest to shield her from the impact. As he zoomed towards one of the large 4 ton statues he thought with a sarcastic chuckle, “Well looks like retirement’s come a bit early…" His head smashed against the statue causing him, (and the marble monstrosity) to fall to the hard pavement, where he lay still.

Derpy took the large tray of muffins from the oven and placed them on her kitchen’s countertop. She bent down, stuck her nose directly above the tray and sniffed, nearly collapsing from the mind-melting awesomeness that filled her nose. Her mind suddenly became filled with a single thought; “ME WANT MUFFINS!!" (or, as one could translate, ‘I would so enjoy partaking in the consumption of these absolutely delectable baked goods’). She hastily reached for one of said baked goods when her ear flicked towards the refrigerator. She paused for a second, stared at the fridge and turned back to her baked prey. She closed in on a particularly large one and shut her muzzle over it when…

All of a sudden, water burst from the sink as if the Hoofer Dam had just sprung a leak in her house. Derpy panicked as she began to drown from the sudden outburst of water. She watched wave after wave crashed down on top of her until she began to sink to the bottom of the floor, and lost consciousness…

“bwahahahahahaha!”

“Huh? Who is that?” Derpy thought groggily, slowly waking up as if she had taken a peaceful nap.

“Bwahahahahahahahaha!!” The laughter got louder as she became more alert.

Derpy put her hoof against the floor for support as she tried to get up. She fell down due to a glass cup that was full of water, which was stuck on her right forehoof…

Derpy quickly looked down and noticed that she was lying in another slightly yellow liquid…

She realized the origin of the second liquid and quickly jumped back, turning as red as a tomato out of embarrassment.

“BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!”

Turning around, she identified the source of the mocking laughter as a rather odd looking unicorn with a red brushed back mane, slightly tan coat and the largest lower jaw she’d ever seen. He had a cutie mark of a tightly drawn smile that revealed only a few teeth. The mysterious stallion noticed that mare was staring at him and quickly snapped his mouth shut. The two looked each other in the eyes for a while, crossed eyes staring down squinty eyes, until the stallion’s mouth slowly stretched into an insufferable grin that seemed to say “U Mad Brony?”

Derpy felt unbridled rage course through her body. She stood up and growled at the unicorn and screamed “T-that wa-wasn’t very n-nice!”

She scowled, “Blast this infernal stutter”

The unicorn looked at her scrunched up his face and replied, “Aww. I’m soooo sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you,” that sneer
returned “wall-eyes.”

“Wall-eyes!!!” Derpy screamed in her mind. “O-Oh yeah, yo-you’re just a… a big meanie, (nice one Derpy).”

“Idiot says ‘what’,” the unicorn quickly said.

“Huh?” Derpy replied

With that, silence permeated the garden and it seemed as if everything became still. The smile slid from the unicorn’s face and was replaced with a small frown. “And now I’m bored.” Derpy was surrounded by a tan glow and levitated over to the stallion. He forced her to peer into his eyes, his irises now replaced with red and white vortexes. Derpy’s eyes followed suit and the mare slumped, mouth agape and limp.

The stallion asked his captive, “Now my dear, would you be so kind as to tell me where I could find the holders of the elements of Harmony?” a grin, much larger and sinister than the previous one, formed on his lips.

“Yes, they all live in Ponyville, my hometown,” replied Derpy in a monotone voice.

“Really? Interesting…” The unicorn stroked his chin. He dropped Derpy, who landed back on the grass. Having snapped out of the trance, she got back up and charged the stallion. He simply stepped out of the way and stuck out his hoof, which Derpy tripped over and was sent flailing into the base of one of the statue, knocking her out.

“Sorry about that wall-eyes, but I’ve important business to do.” The stallion concentrated more magical energy into his horn and held it for a minute, preparing one of the more arcane spells he knew. He released the energy in five quick bursts, creating pulses of different colors and sizes. The pulses formed into small clouds of magic, each crackling with condensed magic.

The unicorn looked around and nodded, satisfied with his work, “Now you all have your instructions, so get out there and create some havoc,” his mouth took on the grin once more, dripping with malice.

The clouds floated off into the sky, leaving the tan stallion to his maniacal laughter.

Later that evening

Twilight Sparkle had been tossing in her sleep. Dreams of her friends running away from her filled her mind. Spike sat by her bed and worried, having been woken up by the screams of the restless mare. He wondered if there was anything that he could do to help her relax. He looked around the room. As he did, from the window he noticed what looked like clouds of smoke float towards the town. He thought about what they could be for a second, then quickly refocused his attention on finding something that would help soothe his friend’s pain.

Meanwhile
Across Ponyville five clouds entered the houses of the town’s most esteemed citizens, the holders of the elements of harmony. Shortly after a bright light flashed from inside the houses, and five dark forms fled from the homes, each of them the size of a pony, yet disfigured in some way.

To Be Continued

Next Chapter: Taste the Rainbow Pt. 1