Butt Combos

I awaken to a gravelly voice that sounds as if he’s coming from an intercom. The room is dark with one metal fan in the wall giving off that eerie atmosphere of metallic objects. I don’t know, I wasn’t much into horror films.

“Wake up!” the intercom noise comes from my neck.

“I’m up. Who are you?” I ask while standing up and stretching my wings.

“Just listen closely. There’s somepony else in the building with you. That pony is your enemy. I understand that you will want to be outside in order to fight and you might as well run away, but your life depends on killing the enemy here,” whoever it is explains.

“You’re really bad at this buddy,” I tell him while looking for the door.

“What?”

“I don’t even know what the fuck is going on, so why should I listen to your mysterious ass?”

I find the door and open it, leading myself into a mossy hallway.

“You’re a superhero. You’re supposed to kill evil!” the voice whines.

“Some superheroes wouldn’t agree with that. I on the other hand just don’t believe you and sort of don’t care,”

I walk down the dark hallway, starting to remember things that I had apparently forgotten. Aliens, the dead rising, heroes and villains working together.

“Alright, I’ll drop the act. If you don’t kill the other pony in here you will die.”

“How?” I ask.

The voice goes silent.

“Well, you’ll just have to see won’t you?” the voice sounded defeated.

I smirked.

“You’re kind of confusing you know tha-

Somepony was behind me twirling a butterfly knife with their teeth. I reared my butt upwards to deflect the blade and turned around. It was a yellow mare with black hair holding a knife in her mouth. She also had a collar around her neck.

“Shade Plot, those things are easier to do with the tongue,” I tell her.

“Ya, bu iss safer wid teef,” the Earth Pony smiles while saying the phrase with a muffle.

“Just kill each other already!” the voice yells through both of our collars.

Shade disappears in a dark purple mist, reappearing from behind and slicing at my ass once more which still manages to deflect it. She teleports in front of me to stab my eye for which I buck up my hind legs and somersault forward, making my butt come down on the knife. I land back on all fours to see her gone again. She’s not behind me either. I then jump in the air, stretching each of my legs out and letting them impact with the tips of a knife on each hoof from four different Shade clones that poofed out of nowhere. I sent myself twirling and flew into the two Shades in front of me, knocking the knives out of them and having us crash through a wall that led us outside only to crash into another building.

“You done?” I ask the two Shades under my hooves.

“Wrong ones bitch!” the two yell in unison as they poof into thin air.

The real one kicks me out a window. I fall onto the street pavement and lay there for a bit.

“Enough ressing!” Shade muffled on top of the building with about ten clones.

I get up and look at her. Suddenly many of the windows in the buildings around us shatter, metal objects surrounding me in the air.

“Pens, razors, change, guns, bullets, knives and chin…” I look up at her with a smile, “shavers.”

The objects line up at my side like the wings of those planes the Earth Ponies use. They form into thin, metal disks and finally I fly through the building, slicing the upper half off, making it slide down and fall onto the street. As I turn around in the air the ten Shades throw their knives at me. The blades are halted and then sent back to her along with the metal disks. They all fly backwards, the fake ones poofing out of existence until there’s just the final, real one. I dash into her and crash land us onto a roof. She now lays under me with the disk blade in her shoulder and her knife in her stomach.

“The knife…” she coughs up blood, “in my heart, now.”

“You’re better than this Shade. You don’t deserve death,” I tell her.

“It’ll be better looking than what the director is gonna give me,” she says with difficulty.

“He won’t be meeting you again. Let’s get out of here,” I lend her a hoof.

“You should kill her,” the voice from the collar says.

“Fuck you and your rules,” I tell him, somewhat annoyed.

“No, seriously Blade, kill me!” she pleads.

“Get the fuck up so we can lea-

Her head exploded. My bloody hoof dropped back down to the ground.

“I told you,” the voice says.

I notice that the collar is laying around the floor, shattered.

“If you keep disobeying me, that will be you,” he tells me with a casual tone.

I wipe the blood off of my face and walk off of the building, slowing my fall with my wings.

“Now my son, go and kill,” he says most likely with a smile behind the fucking speaker.

I trot past the decaying architecture of Manehattan skyscrapers that have been defeated by the nature that embraces their walls. I trot into a park where the grass reaches your stomach and the benches are imprisoned by vines. I trot under a tree and rest there, just thinking.

A loud, thumping sound comes from the distance suddenly. It’s a number of giant speakers placed around the city.

“My fellow players, I have an announce- Ah! Stop it!” the voice from the collar says through the large speakers.

“Is this a game too?” the voice say- wait.

It’s too out of character to be his voice, yet it’s similar somehow.

“Oh, you fucking pussy,” I say to the wall of grass in front of me.

“Stop it! Stop it!” the original voice says, “Go play elsewhere. Now that everpony’s up, I will be hiding rations and equipment around the city. So, if you end up dieing of hunger or find yourself out matched, remember, it’s your fault. Now, to list the fallen heroes. Shade Plot and Bill Sandwich. Fallen villains are Chillin McGuffrey. With that, good luck players!” the voice announced and went off.

I laid my head in my hooves for a bit until I heard a voice.

“Ah, a place to rest,” a female voice said.

I harden my skin as the grass is pushed aside. Suddenly in comes the muzzle of a light, mulberry Earth Pony.

“Oh, hey. Got any booze?” the mare says.