Equestria Girls: Holy Brony (Comedy)
This story is rated (M) for light sexual language
Equestria Girls: Holy Brony
The hallways of Canterlot High School were bustling with activity as the student body went on about their day, shuffling from class to class without a thought given to what lay beyond the borders of their school. Sunset Shimmer thought about it all the time though, she had to. Being originally a pony from Equestria, she hardly knew what her options were going to be in this human-led world. Being the overlord and high master of two enslaved worlds had been thrown out the window… and she sure didn’t want to end up a minimum-wage fry cook.
Sunset Shimmer’s locker door closed with a clang to reveal a girl with a bright face standing directly behind it with a wide, ear-to-ear grin.
“Gah! What the Hell…!?” Sunset Shimmer jumped back.
“S-sorry! I d-d-didn’t mean to s-startle you!” The girl stammered like she’d just run into the famous movie star, Bomb Cruise. “I’ve been t-trying to work up the c-courage to say hi for weeks!”
“Um… okay…” Sunset Shimmer was used to being feared and semi-admired by her peers, but this was pushing it. “And why did you want to say hi to me so badly?”
“W-well you know, since the whole… Fall Formal thing happened… there’s been people saying that you’re a… a…” The girl blushed even deeper.
“A…?” Sunset Shimmer pressed.
“A pony!” The girls squealed the word at such a high pitch it sent Sunset reeling back. “Ahem… sorry, a p-pony! Is it true!?”
“Um… yeah.” Sunset Shimmer brought her hands up cautiously when the girl’s eyes lit up. “And… who are you, exactly?”
The girl’s eyes snapped wide and she giggled furiously. “Oh! Duh! Wow! I am so rude! My name’s Lyra, Lyra Heartstrings! I’m kind of a… a big fan of ponies!” She blushed furiously. “Such cute little faces and adorable little hooves! Sometimes I want to be a pony…”
“Uh…” Sunset Shimmer glanced around the empty hallway, as if seeking salvation. “Well that’s… quite an aspiration you have there… but I have a lot of classes to get to, I really need to walk away now.” Sunset Shimmer turned to leave quickly, but she could hear the footsteps following close behind her.
“I’ve always wanted to ask… wh-what’s it like being a pony?”
“What’s it like? Um…” Sunset Shimmer thought for a moment. “It’s like having four legs and no hands. And fur.”
“Oohhhh…” Lyra nodded as if she’d just been given some ancient secret. “Wow, that sounds so amazing… I bet life is so peaceful! Doing nothing but walking around and eating grass…”
Sunset huffed and clenched her fists. “Excuse me? We’re not mindless beasts, that’s freaking racist.”
“N-no! I didn’t mean it like that! Sorry…”
Sunset Shimmer took a deep breath. “Whatever, can you leave me alone now?”
“S-sure! Can I just ask a few more questions first?”
Sunset Shimmer made the second worst mistake of her life. “Ugh… fine.”
“What does it feel like having fur?”
“Do you wear horseshoes? If I had hooves I don’t think I’d want to wear shoes.”
“Is your sense of smell better than ours? Most animals have that, right?”
“Pony babies must be so cute! Can I see a picture of one?”
“Do you have a government? Or do you have princesses? Maybe a few queens in there somewhere?”
“Are ponies really strong? I bet they’re really strong.”
“Can you outrun horses from this world?”
“Can you outrun an ostrich? Or a cheetah! But nobody beats a cheetah, because they cheetah so much!”
“Do you ride each other around? I’d love to be able to ride my best friends when my legs are tired! But Bon Bon slaps me whenever I try…”
“She won’t ride me either when I ask her to for some reason. She just gets all blushy…”
“What do you think of humans? Do you think we’re weird? Hey, what’s that look for?”
“How much do you eat in a day? Do you have breakfast, lunch, and supper, or do you just kind of keep eating?”
“Do ponies drink beer?”
“Do you really not wear clothes there?”
“Can you like, see each other’s vaginas and penises just dangling?”
“How big is a stallion’s penis? You know, for science.”
“How do you have sex? Does he mount you like a normal horse or do you do missionary position?”
“Do ponies go to school? What kind of things do you learn?”
“How long do you live?”
“Do you eat anything besides plants?”
“If you chop off a pony’s leg, can it still walk with only three?”
“What’s your cutie mark? You have those right? Like in the TV show?”
“Do you have a TV show called My Little Human?”
“Do you even have TV?”
“Or how about electricity?”
“If you have magic there does that mean you can do awesome things like fly and shoot lasers from your eyes?”
“Are there pony superheroes? That would be so awesome!”
“How about a Spider-Pony? With the power of a pony and a spider!? So awesome!”
“Can you climb with hooves? How does that work?”
“Do you think I’d be a pony if I went there?”
“How long can ponies hold their brea-”
Sunset Shimmer slammed her locker shut with a thunderous bang that brought the attention of the entire hallway their way, but she didn’t care. Five hours of constant questions had pushed her well beyond her limits, and she whirled on her verbal aggressor with her fists clenched. “You know I can and will punch you in the freaking face! Principal Celestia would never punish me!”
Lyra recoiled in shock like she’d already taken a swing. “What’s wrong? I thought we were… y’know, bonding, like gal-pals!”
Sunset Shimmer snapped. “Bonding!? There’s a difference between bonding time and an interrogation! I’d rather be turned over to the police! At least they’d ask less probing and annoying questions!”
“Oh…” Lyra rubbed one arm demurely and looked away from her. “I’m sorry… I just wanted to be friends… I should’ve known, this always happens, I… sorry.” Lyra turned away from her with a deep blush on her cheeks, leaving Sunset Shimmer standing in the hallway with dozens of pairs of disapproving eyes watching her.
“Nnngh…” Sunset Shimmer grunted and rushed down the hallway after her, grabbing her shoulder to get her attention. “Look, I should be trying to make friends, so maybe… maybe we can get to know each other.”
“R-really?” Lyra looked over at her with a smile, and tears in her eyes.
“Slowly,” Sunset insisted. “No more following me around all day asking me about Equestria, alright?”
“Oh, okay.” Lyra wiped her eyes. “But I do still want to know so much more about it!”
“Well then… from now on, you can ask one question about it a day, and otherwise, we can… y’know, hang out or something.”
“Hah, oh awesome! I can’t wait!” Lyra grinned with a girlish giggle. “Come on, I have one more class to get to! I’ll walk you to yours first!”
“Yeah, sure, alright.” Sunset rolled her eyes and turned to follow Lyra down the hallway. “So tell me about yourself. Why are you so into ponies anyway?”
“Well it all started when I wore a cat costume for Halloween one year…”
___
Twilight Sparkle emerged from Golden Oaks Library with a yawn, stretching her wings and hooved out to banish the morning stiffness. “Mmmh, am I so glad that business in the Crystal Empire is over… now things can finally get back to normal.” She turned to close the front door, then yelped and jumped back when she saw a green unicorn with a golden lyre cutie mark grinning wildly at her from behind the door.
“Is it true!? Were you really a human…!?”
Equestria Girls: Round One, Fight! (Action)
This story is rated "T" for action-violence
Equestria Girls: Round One, Fight!
Rainbow Dash and Applejack stood face to face, their eyes twitching and their hands held out to their sides. This was it, Rainbow Dash thought to herself as she looked into the eyes of her best friend. After all these years it had finally comes to this. Here in the softly glowing static of the TV against the wall, shining its light on the both of them, they were going to do what had probably been coming all along. They were both very proud girls after all. Their competitions were borderline legendary in the halls of Canterlot High School.
But this… this was personal.
The air was eerily silent as the girls faced each other, then all at once they both lunged. Rainbow Dash spun under the stronger, but slower girl’s outstretched arm to drive her fist into her gut, shoving her roughly back, but Applejack’s other arm grabbed a handful of her hair and yanked backwards, sending Rainbow stumbling out of the TV’s soft light.
Rainbow whirled just in time to spot the big-booted kick coming. She darted toward the door to throw it open and lurch out into the grass in front of Sweet Apple Acre’s apple field. Applejack followed at a jog, rearing back with one fist, but Rainbow Dash dodged nimbly to the left once again, grabbing the bigger girl’s arm in both of hers and spinning over her side in a fast Judo throw.
Applejack tumbled over Rainbow’s body and slammed into the grass on her back, where Rainbow locked her in a fierce arm-bar.
“Say uncle!” Rainbow Dash twisted the arm viciously. “Say it!”
“I’ll say uncle when I’m in the ground!” Applejack kicked up with one knee, planting it heavily enough in Rainbow’s gut to make her double over and lose her grip. That was all the opening the farmgirl needed to shove upward with both legs with enough strength to send Rainbow literally flying through the air away from her.
Rainbow hit the ground with a grunt, but swiftly went into a backwards roll away from Applejack, landing on her feet in a low, ready crouch. Applejack got up more slowly, plucking her fallen hat from the grass and sliding it back onto her head, but her eyes never left Rainbow Dash. She was watching and waiting… she knew as well as Rainbow did, there was only one way this was going to end.
They both attacked at the same time once again, Rainbow Dash neatly dodging one punch and trying to counter with one of her own, but it was only a glancing blow as Applejack weaved to one side while a mighty fist came back around to slam heavily into Rainbow’s cheek. Rainbow stumbled back in a daze, trying to get away, but it was too late, Applejack’s arms closed around her waist from behind and hauled her clean off the grass in a perfect suplex.
“Aaaaurgh!” Rainbow Dash yelped in pain as she hit the ground on her back and rolled across the grass, but soon managed to begin rolling back to her knees. Applejack was getting up almost as slowly, her own bigger bulk making the move do almost as much damage to her as to Rainbow Dash, but Rainbow knew she was still in trouble. The bigger girl was up first, and approaching in a scary hurry.
Rainbow Dash couldn’t afford to hesitate. She threw herself forward straight into Applejack’s legs, hoping to take her down, but Applejack’s stance was solid. Rainbow felt the arms close around her waist again, but before she could be hoisted into the air she used the grip as leverage to flip herself vertically, slamming one booted leg into her friend’s jaw.
The grip around her waist let go, allowing Rainbow Dash to carry the summersault through and land on her feet only moment before throwing a back-kick straight into Applejack’s gut, making the bigger girl double-over once again with a loud wheeze. Rainbow brought her leg around and up for an axe-kick, but without warning Applejack threw herself forward, running her shoulder into Rainbow like a charging bull and carrying her back towards the house.
Rainbow expected to hit the wall, but instead they both went flailing through the living room window, smashing into the floor in a shower of glass right back where this whole thing had started. Rainbow laid on the wood where she rolled several feet from her friend, thinking that perhaps that was enough… perhaps they should stop. But that would mean quitting… and Rainbow Dash would not quit for anything in the world.
Slowly the two combatants climbed back to their feet, ignoring the glass on the floor as they once again faced each other. Applejack was in a wide-legged forward stance, and Rainbow was in a sideways stance with her limp wrists ready in front of her torso.
Suddenly Applejack made her move, snatching the lamp off an endtable to hurl it directly at Rainbow’s chest. Rainbow only narrowly weaved to the side to avoid it, but this left her off-balance to catch Applejack’s next bull-like charge. Unable to move out of the way, Rainbow Dash snatched the hat off of her friend’s head and shoved it in her face just before impact, but she just kept going, shoulder-tackling Rainbow blindly back straight into the couch, sending them both spinning over the back of it to the hardwood floor.
Rainbow rolled onto her side, trying to catch her breath. She could see Applejack lying on the floor nearby, lying sprawled out on her back with her chest heaving. With the lamp gone the only light in the room came from the TV still tuned to static.
Rainbow slowly rolled over, pulling herself tiredly away from Applejack between the couch and Granny Smith’s rocking chair. Her arm snaked its way up onto the worn, antique wood and grabbed hold of her ultimate prize, falling to her back again with her trophy held high.
With Applejack no doubt looking on in envy, Rainbow Dash huffed out a pleased sigh of victory. “The… remote… is mine…”
Author's Note
Back when I wrote more regularly, I took some pride in paying a lot of attention to fight scenes, trying to make them less like "he dodged the sword and ran!" and more like an action scene you'd see in a movie. This is the first time I've done it in years, so it's as much an attempt to shake off rust as it is a silly little short story. I hope you enjoyed it, though. These shorts will probably continue until the Spike story is done, unless I decide to take a break from it.
Friendship is Magic: In Harmony (Slice of Life)
Friendship is Magic: In Harmony
It was a cold day in Canterlot, but then this high up on the mountain every day was a pretty cold day. The snow was gently falling across the streets surrounding the schoolyard, and not a single pony was to be found walking the sidewalks. Perhaps it was because of the cold that they sought shelter, or maybe it was the large crew of young fillies and colts gathered on the school ground and belting out their best interpretation of ‘Harmony In Twos’ at the top of their lungs so that they could drown out the rest of the foals around them.
Their music teacher stepped forward after a moment and waved her hoof sharply, eventually bringing the screaming singing to a halt. “Now, now, little ones, is that really what you want your parents to hear on Hearth’s Warming Eve?”
“But Miss Octavia, nopony’s going to be able to hear me in the crowd!” One of the fillies at the front of the group complained. Several other foals nodded and grunted in agreement. “How can they hear me when there’s so many of us?”
“That’s certainly an interesting question.” Octavia approached the group to sit on the snow in front of them, her blue scarf draping down across her gray chest. “Let me ask you a question of my own, though. Can you hear very well when someone screams at you? You can hear the noise, sure, but can you tell easily who it is? Or what they’re trying to say?”
The filly looked down. “Well… I guess not really.” A couple of the other foals nodded in agreement.
“Well that’s how it is in music. You can all do one of two things. You can scream and yell and try to drown one-another out. You can ensure that nopony can hear any of you.” Octavia smiled and raised her hoof, waving it gracefully in front of her like she was conducting an orchestra. “Or you can sing as one in harmonious joy, and ensure that everypony can hear every single one of you.”
“But that sounds stupid…” The filly grumped again and stamped her hoof into the snow. “They wouldn’t hear me, they would be hearing us.”
Octavia flashed a sly smile and slipped a hoof around her shoulders. “Yes, that’s right. That’s what Hearth’s Warming Eve is all about, is it not? Coming together and being ‘us’?”
The filly glanced around at her companions, who all seemed to be warming up to the idea. “I guess so…”
Octavia grinned and moved back again. “I’m glad to hear you say that. Now, class, let’s try this one more time, in harmony.”
“Hmph…” Sunset Shimmer took a deep breath, mumbling darkly, “I’ll make sure they all hear me…”
Author's Note
This one is actually a "deleted scene" of sorts from the story "Sunset On My Heart". One of my initial ideas was to sprinkle in flashbacks to Sunset Shimmer's days as a young filly, but I decided it made a relatively short and simple story overly long and convoluted, and the flashbacks simply worked better as bookends to the main story rather than popping up throughout. I kind of liked this one, though, so here it will stay, though for reference I re-wrote it just for this. I actually deleted the actual original scene without saving it, stupid me.
Also, is it me or does everyone just naturally assume all of the mares in the show with the normal pony body type are all the same age? Considering Twilight's parents also share this body type, I think the ponies of Ponyville come in a wider range of ages than most people consider, hence Octavia being an adult in this at the time Sunset Shimmer is a younger filly. Not really a problem or anything, just something I've noticed over time.
