How does it move?

by PoniNinja

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Discord, Princess Celestia
Length: 1139

Twilight asks a very important question.

Twilight asks a very important question that Celestia really doesn't want ponies to find out about.

First time writing a story so please destroy it with as much criticism as you can.

Published 2013-10-14 22:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-14 22:40:02 UTC

Cake Tuesday

Celestia was nervous.

Well more than nervous, nervous was an understatement! this had simply never happened before. In the several thousand years of her life, she had never been asked one simple question, a question which she dreaded the day she would hear it.

And now of all times, it just had to be now!

Currently Celestia was sitting in the royal dining area, a complete 6 feet of the finest mahogany wood money can buy, so fine in fact that mere mortals would weep at its touch, holding up the most glorious of tributes to her holiness. Yes you heard it right the table was covered in cake. And when I mean covered I mean there was not a single space left to fit any form of object, that is how much cake was currently present.

What? don’t give me that look! This was cake so grand that the common folk had to spend years to simply save up for a slice! A slice!

She sat there, fork magically held in her telekinetic grip, mouth slightly parted in preparation of devouring the delectable morsel, when it was all ruined.

“How do you move the sun?”

Time stood to earth shattering halt as the words were spoken, an old shoe maker felt dread creep into his very soul and somewhere in the bustling streets of Canterlot a baby started to cry.

“I-I mean the sun is 149,600,000 kilometres away! Not to mention its 1.989 x 10^30 kilograms!”

The dawning realisation on poor ‘ittle Twilight Sparkle’s 6 year old face as she comprehended the fact that she had openly doubted her mentor/mother on cake Tuesday, on cake Tuesday no less, was adorable to say the least.

Approximately 0.67 seconds after the little filly had said such an utterance Princess Celestia, the goddess of the sun, sole ruler of the mighty kingdom of equestria and over all cool kid, was sweating bullets like a child that had just been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

“He-he w-well you see….” She had to think of something fast to derail the situation before it got out of hand!

“Uumm, I’m just so powerful that I can do that?”

That had to be it right? That had to be enough to get her out of this, right? Wrong.

Because at that very moment in time Twilight decided to pull out a book out from under the table with the calculation of the energy required to move an object the both the size and distance away as the sun.

Twilight quickly recited enough technical jargon to thoroughly bamboozle a guinea pig, I won’t bore you with the details.

“Fuck”

The Palace gardens this time of day had an almost charming quality to them. Almost, seeing as though it was covered in a plethora of creepy as hell statues. The monarch of Equestria and her filly companion walk quietly through the garden, as chill passing through them once in awhile, until in front of a statue that seemed to be of a creature made up of different creatures!

The filly gazed up into the creature’s face, terror etched upon her features.

“This-” Celestia pointed to the statue “-is what happens to things that interrupt cake tuesday, don’t let it happen again”

And with that she left the filly to chew on those soul shattering words. Crisis averted!

Discord was having quite the pleasant day (all things considering) until it was completely ruined by a small purple pony snivelling and sobbing in front of him. She sat on her haunches a cried tears that were not that of a crocodile’s! It was unacceptable! Furthermore her snot was not made out of licorice! He simply had to do something.

His long serpentine neck cracked and groaned as the stoned encasing it quickly disintegrated under his sheer coolness, until he was face to face with the filly.

“What’s wrong eh? Somebody stole your sweetroll?”

The sniffing and crying continued although he managed to make out a few words.

“P-P-Princess Celestia said I was gonna be turned to s-stone because I-I-I asked a question!”

Well this simply won’t do

“I only wanted to know how she moved the sun!”

With that a devious smirk crossed Discord’s quite evil face as he contemplated revealing Celly’s most well kept secret, bah what the hell why not.

“Psst, kid wanna know something interesting?” Blasted from the side of his mouth quicker than a prancing adder.

“huh? Uh, sure?” It seemed she was just too upset to realise she was talking to the living embodiment of chaos, as she seemed to not have opened her eyes yet. Well it sure made things easier about not having to explain what Discord is, didn't it!

From the back of his hand Discord spoke once more “Well from what I hear, and keep this to yourself kiddo, She doesn't! It’s all a trick! She just wants everyone to Think that she’s all powerful!”.

This news, from a totally credible and believable source, to a 6 year old child was reality altering to say the least. The gasp that came out from her mouth proved it to say the least.

Well time to skedaddle!

And with that he straightened his neck and turned back into stone, leaving a very confused Twilight Sparkle sat there looking round.

Several hours later Twilight Sparkle skipped down the hallways in the east wing of the library, humming a tune nonchalantly and without a care in the world until she bumped into a very white and very hard leg.

Looking up it seemed the leg belonged to none other than Princess Celestia herself! Seeing this as her opportunity to rectify her behavior Twilight quickly exclaimed; “Princess! There’s no need to worry about that question I asked earlier, some nice stallion in front of that statue you left me in front of told me!”

“Did he now?” This worried Celestia to no extent, it seemed her secret had been left out, luckily only to one person it seemed so far, now only to kill the child and hide the body and everything would be fi-

“Yep! And I told everyone I met along my way here, including this very nice mare from ‘The Canterlot Gazette’! Now no one will be confused over how the sun is moved!”

This had escalated too fast for Celestia to manage it seemed, much much too fast. There was only one solution.

And that children is how the population of the moon grew by 63 ponies and 12 cats plus Luna learnt not to be so depressed!

Author's Note

So yeah..... I tried to write something... uuh what do ya think of it? It wasn't good eh? well you can have this to make up for it I guess!