STUPID CHILD

"Moooom!"

My legs shuffle nervously as I wait. But Mom doesn't shout back. I don't get it. She always does when I do this. I frown and stomp my way into the living room, hoping the noise will make her want to pay attention to me. But she's not in there either. I grumble to myself as I keep looking around the house and call out to her again.

"Why does she always have to be somewhere else when I need her?" I mutter. "I wanna play..."

My JoyBoy is gone again. It does it all the time. When I complain to Mom, she says things don't just get up and walk away. I used to believe her, but now I'm starting to think she's wrong. There's no way I could have lost it so many times in just one week. Or maybe she's pulling a prank on me?

No, that's not right. I shake my head. My Mom knows everything. She's always right. She loves me and would never want to mess with me. She'll be able to help me.

I run up and down in the house. I look in every place where it could be. Under the table. Under the couch. In the cupboards. Under the rug. In the trash can. I even try to look in the toilet tank, only to fall into the bowl and get my hooves all wet. I'm getting really mad now. Why can't Mom help me?

I go through every little corner of every room. I throw stuff all around as I dig through them. I make a huge mess, but I don't care. If my JoyBoy wants to play hide and seek, then I'll just dig him out. And if Mom or Dad get angry, I'll just tell them they should have helped me.

There's only one room left. Mom and Dad's bedroom. The door is locked. I tap on it a few times, but nopony answers. I press my ear against it, but there's no noise coming from inside. I guess they're not home.

I step away from the door and turn around, only to freeze when I hear Mom's voice from behind me. My cap falls off as I run back, slam against the door, and press my head against it again. There's an odd noise that keeps repeating. Metal and wood squeaking, sort of like when I'm jumping on my bed. A weird thumping and a wet noise. Moaning. Somepony breathing really fast. Giggling.

"Mooooom!" My hooves pound on the door. "Are you in there? Hello?"

She doesn't answer. I keep hearing the same noises. My hoof pounds on the door again.

"Mooom! Hello? Can you hear me? I can't find my JoyBoy!" I try peeking in through the keyhole, but it's blocked. "Hey, what's going on in there?"

Nopony answers. I just hear the same moaning and panting and weird noises. Why doesn't Mom answer me? Maybe she doesn't want to notice me? Doesn't she love me anymore?

I hang my head. My lips are trembling, and I just barely stop myself from crying. I feel helpless. Pathetic. Too weak to make myself heard.

"Come on, Mom!" I sniffle. "Please?"

She calls out somepony's name. My eyes widen.

"Mr. Vegetable Vendor?" I whisper. The image of the big stallion from the market pops up in my head. "Is he in there?"

I shake my head. It's gotta be a mistake. That can't be him. It's probably just another pony with the same name. No, not "Mr. Vegetable Vendor." I know that's not his real name, but that's what Mom always calls him when we go shopping at the market.

I grind my teeth together. She always talks to me like I'm some stupid baby. Stupid babies don't beat hard video games!

I hear a deep, loud groan. My hooves shake as I take a step back from the door. I recognize the voice.

"It really is him..."

That just makes me more confused. I don't even care who it is. What matters is that it's not Dad. And I know it couldn't be Dad anyway. He's still at work.

But somepony is still in there with Mom. How can that be? I mean, I sometimes hear Mom and Dad do this, so it's nothing new. They stay inside for a few hours, make noises, and come out together again. Then they're always really tired, but also very happy.

Is it some kind of exercise? Something that helps them stay happy? Maybe because Dad is too busy today, Mom is doing it with somepony else?

I sigh, turn around, and trudge back to my room. Whatever is going on, looks like Mom can't help after all. I close the door behind me, lie down in my bed, and stare up at the ceiling. My ears twitch. I can still hear the noises from that room. If it's a game they're playing in there, it must be very rough. I think Mom is winning though. She's screaming even louder now. She keeps shouting that name. Maybe she's taunting him.

I frown and bury my head in a pillow. This isn't fair! I'm not a dumb little kid! They can't ignore me like this! I beat every video game I ever got on the hardest level. No "stupid foal" could get away with that!

I sink my teeth into the pillow and let out a tiny sob. Tears come out of my eyes. I remember all those times Mom argued with me. All those times she told me I should stop playing these games all the time. That it's bad for me. That I'll end up dumb as a post if I don't quit.

Not like I care. I like playing, and if I like something, I'll do it. I'm not dumb. I'll even get my cutie mark in gaming. That'll show them.

Sighing again, I throw the pillow away and reach down with my forehoof between my hind legs. Since I can't find the game I wanted, and Mom took away my console, I'll just play this one. At least this one is on me all the time, so I can always play it.

Well, except maybe in front of somepony else. I once started doing it in school. Everypony was staring at me. Some of them laughed. Miss Cheerilee got really mad. She had me in detention for a whole week. I asked why, but she didn't even want to talk about it.

My forehoof rubs against my crotch. I moan as I feel that odd tingle in my little joystick. It quickly pops into place, hard and ready to play. Licking my lips, I press both hooves against it and stroke it faster and more tightly. It's just as good as ever. I close my eyes and moan even louder, almost like Mom now.

I've known how to do this for as long as I can remember. I always liked to rub stuff against myself down there. It felt funny. But I only really figured it out when I started to touch it. I was busy playing some other game, and one of my hooves was free, so I just reached down and rubbed it without really thinking about it. Next thing I know, I'm on my back, and there's this weird wet stuff on the carpet. I thought I peed myself.

Mom got really mad, but she didn't want to talk about it either. Dad just laughed at me. Or was it with me?

I don't remember. I don't care. I've been doing it ever since. It's the one game that never gets boring no matter how many times I've played it, and I play it almost every day. Sometimes more than once a day. I try to keep it a secret though. I don't want Mom to get mad at me again.

I can still hear her. She moans louder, and I moan louder too. My bed is squeaking from my movements. My thingy twitches. I feel pressure in it. My tongue hangs out, and I drool all over my face. It feels amazing.

Mom's words echo in my head. I feel my eyes burning as I stare at the screen, not even blinking while she's shouting at me from the door. I watch my games disappear behind the door of the closet. Punishment for what I did. I hear the other kids laughing at me. I see Dad smiling. I see Mr. Vegetable Vendor staring at Mom from behind. I see Miss Cheerilee frown at me and make me clean the whole classroom. I hear the same words over and over again: "freak," "nerd," "loser," "weirdo."

This is what I am.

I breathe in and tense up all over. My joystick almost slips out of my hooves. Something wet and warm pours out of it. It stains my legs and pools on my bed. I giggle happily once the game ends, still feeling giddy from it.

"I win..."

Author's Note

This is for all of you who fap to Button's mom. ~~Shame on you~~

Inspired partly by a pic made by Lil Miss Jay (NSFW, so no links)

So I recently read one of harpseal2's fics and thought it was a bit weird, since it was almost like an outburst against the readers and humanity in general rather than the genuine feelings of the characters involved.

Or maybe not. But it was still kinda weird.

Well, whatever the case, I don't feel that way anymore. If it was an outburst, I now think it's a well-deserved one for the site. I do love this community, but sometimes I can't help but feel that the same swill just keeps being recycled over and over again, and the audience is none the wiser.

Case in point: Button Mash. This little fucker is always somewhere around the front page, along with other "classics" like Snowdrop, Sonata Dusk, *insert the latest utterly forgettable new canon/fanon character here*, etc.

You also get your healthy dose of totally not overused premises like "*insert pony here* was a changeling all along", "villain goes completely OOC and redeems themselves", "TaviScratch shipping", "pony X shags pony Y for no good reason," "I'm a human, I'm in a different world, OMGWTFBBQ ponies," and other mindless crap...

Well, how about I start doing my own version of all the "favorites" here? Let's start with Button Mash. Turn his little kiddie world into something a bit more interesting. I'm also aware that people have a particular soft spot for "Fall of Equestria." Perhaps my own take on it would liven up people's days as well...