To Purloin Harmony

by AmbitiousBloodlust

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 1889

Twilight, on her way to purchase a new grimoire, is abducted by five ponies whom call themselves "Spell Thieves", and whom also wish to steal the Elements of Harmony. So, naturally - not really - she joins them.

Equestria is a land of prosperity, success, and fame. (Sorcery and magic-usage included.)

Here, magic is sold and traded as any kind of object, through the form of grimoires. Twilight Sparkle, unicorn and protégé of the princess herself, has been raised in this system and finds it quite enjoyable. However, one day she is out and about, finding new grimoires to purchase, when suddenly she finds a wheat bag over her head.

Turns out she's been kidnapped by five lowlifes who consider themselves to be some abomination called "Spell Thieves". Now, would someone please explain to her as to why she's been abducted from the streets? And why she eventually - through some measures - wants to become a Spell Thief herself? Well, they do have their eye on the prize . . . the prize being the famous Elements of Harmony.

Goodness gracious, just what has she gotten herself into?

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-16 01:00:03 UTC

Oh Dear

The marketplace buzzed with life—ponies were selling several items; food, clothing, and various others. Under "various others", one would find Twilight Sparkle's favorite thing to purchase: Grimoires. But she referred to them as "magic books", because the term "grimoire" sounded quite dreary and too reproachful for the elegant ways of magic. She stopped in the crowd to look around. She searched for her go-to magic store, which was quite unique in its own way; instead of the usual stall, it had its own building, with plenty of grimoires (magic books) on exhibition in the display windows.

After twisting her head around in nearly every way possible, she sighed and looked down at the ground, despondency written all over her face. Canterlot was a busy city, so she was bound to get lost, but she had lived there her entire life! She should not be getting lost! How many times had she been to this store in particular? Too many times to count, and here she was, wandering the streets of Canterlot aimlessly.

That is, until she bumped the tip of her horn on a wooden door, having completely forgotten about muscle memory. She looked up and smiled. In front of her was the very store she was looking for: Pages, the name of said store. Using magic, she opened the door and waltzed inside, a bell ringing with a ding!

"Twilight! It's great to see you!" said the shopkeeper, Crypt. He spent his weekends exploring ancient tombs, looking for archaic grimoires that had yet to be discovered.

Twilight put on a smile, even if it was only half true. She didn't care much for socializing, and wanted to be out of there as quickly as possible. The sun was beginning to sink behind the mountains, and she wanted to be home by nightfall. "Thank you. Do you have a copy of 'Predictions and Prophecies'?" she asked in a rushed tone. The stallion looked through a large book before looking up and smiling.

"Of course I do. Though I must warn you, despite your blatant skill, the grimoire is incredibly powerful. It does let you see into the future, after all."

Twilight had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She did not have time for this. "I am aware, but thank you for warning me beforehand."

Twilight waited at the the desk whilst Crypt went to a shelf and began to shuffle through the books. "I found this one out in the Everfree Forest. In that abandoned castle, too." He continued to ramble on about his journey, until exclaiming, "Aha! Here it is!"

Twilight gave out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "How much will that be?"

The stallion put the grimoire on the desk, resuming his role on the other side of it. "I say fifty bits."

Twilight began to sweat nervously. "I, uh, don't have that many . . . could you lower the price down to thirty?"

She flashed a cheesy grin as the stallion tapped his chin. "Alright, only for you, because you'll be back here tomorrow with plenty more bits to buy a new one."

She thanked him, gave him the bits he required, and put the book in her satchel. As she was about to exit through the door, however, she heard a quick gasp of pain and then nothing. She turned around—but saw nothing there. Crypt was no longer behind the desk. The nervous sweating returned, and her horn charged with potential energy, going into defense mode. "Who's there?!" she called, attempting to sound threatening, but failing incredibly.

Out of nowhere, a pink hoof touched her nose. "Honk!"

Then, in an instant, several bodies dropped from the ceiling. But she didn't get to see what happened after that. Why? Someone put a wheat bag over her head, so she could no longer see.

She heard whatever collided with her skull before she even registered the pain and blacked out.

. . .

When she regained consciousness, she made sure to remain completely stoic. Though she could not see, her captors chatted about in front of her, obviously not caring about if one were to hear them.

Though as soon as there was a jolt, she yelped, causing laughter from two ponies. A posh-sounding voice came to her rescue. "Please do not be so insensitive with poor Twilight here! Darling, ignore these two. They have a sick sense of humor."

One that was laughing stopped and spoke with a raspy voice. "A sick sense of humor? Come on, Rarity! Lighten up!"

There was a gasp in unison. "Um, you weren't supposed to say any of our names," a soft voice said timidly, as though the owner wasn't allowed to speak at all.

"What's wrong with naming a few of us? We're going to have to tell her eventually. Hey Twilight, my name's Rainbow Dash!" the one with the raspy voice exclaimed, causing yet another chorus of gasps. Twilight could practically see this "Rainbow Dash" rolling her eyes.

"Now Rainbow Dash, there's no need to get all up in anypony's grills."

"Yeah Rainbow Dash! What Applejack said!"

Another chorus of gasps, the-one-who-said-the-name's gasp louder than the others.

"Who just said a name?!" the voice of the pony who said Applejack's name exclaimed, and then whispered into Twilight's ear, "Was it you?"

The posh-sounding one gave a groan. "It was you, Pinkie Pie—" the mare cut herself off, as though to stop herself, but it was too late.

"Great, now Fluttershy and I are the only ones to—"

"Applejack!" the soft-spoken one, presumably Fluttershy, interjected in a loud whisper.

The carriage went silent—except for Twilight's howling laughter. If her hooves weren't tied up and there wasn't a bag covering her face, she would have been wiping away tears from her eyes. That had to be one of the funniest things she'd ever heard. "See? She's laughing at us!" pointed out Rainbow Dash, overtly embarrassed.

After what seemed like an hour, Twilight had calmed down, and so had the others. "You don't need to be so quiet, Twilight. Talk to us," Applejack said, her accent making everything sound more trustworthy and kind.

"So, uh, where are we going?"

"Confidential," Rainbow Dash stated sharply.

"Is there a good reason for my abduction?"

"Yes, and we are all terribly sorry for the way it happened."

"Well, other than a headache, I'm fine. I could use a glass of water, though. Could I have one when we arrive at our destination?"

"Ugh, fine," Rainbow Dash grumbled.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence. Twilight had plenty of things she wanted to ask, but Rainbow Dash had made it clear her questions were intrusive.

The carriage slowed to a stop. Twilight's legs were untied, and she was led outside of the carriage. Outside, one the ponies was close enough to her that her body was able to sense them, and they guided her gently to their terminus of sorts. Most ponies would be quaking in fear. But Twilight wasn't scared—they had proved themselves harmless: talking, apologizing, and the likes. She actually felt . . . excited to find out what was in store for her.

Soon she was being led - tripping - down a flight of stairs. She closed her eyes the entire way through what seemed like tunnels. If they did turn out to had ill intentions, she would have her explicit muscle memory to lead her out of there. Though the route there was not as long as expected, for she found herself lacking a wheat bag and in a dirty cell in mere moments.

The five ponies that kidnapped her stood outside the bars. Twilight eyed them discreetly, yet in full attention. None of them looked threatening in any matter. It was a little pathetic, actually, that ponies whom look as such would abduct her. Looking past them, however, Twilight saw piles of grimoires. Weird.

Wherever she was, she could feel it tingling with magic air. It was thicker than the air outside, most likely having a higher density. Her horn buzzed excitedly, threatening to let of blasts of magic. She struggled to keep it under control. She swore, sometimes it felt like it had a mind of its own. Twilight turned around to face the fronting wall from the bars. If she was to let out a magical blast, she was not going to let everyone see.

Being a unicorn could really suck at times.

"Oh darling, do you feel it too? I swear, these things are a blessing and a burden."

Twilight turned—Rarity was the sole pony left in her view. "They really are. Hey, where did everypony go?"

"Off to bed. It is quite late at night, and I suppose the two of us should be doing so as well. Would you like a mattress, or a bed? We have an extra in another room," said Rarity, sympathy in her voice.

Twilight shook her head. "I'm fine, but thank you for your hospitality."

Rarity chuckled. "Everyone else is as well, just wait and see. Soon enough, we'll all be great friends, I'm positive!"

"Sure. You're right, we should be getting some sleep. Goodnight!"

With that as a final statement, she used her magic to turn off any lights in the area.

. . .

If a random pony on the street were to tell her she was going to be abducted by criminals who were terrible at being criminals, she would never have believed them. But at that moment, she had every reason to believe so. Why? Because they just were. The only one who was even a little mean to her was Rainbow Dash, but even then she wasn't cruel, just sharp-tongued.

Twilight was beginning to worry about Spike. The trip to the grimoire store had been the first one of hers without Spike, and guess where she ended up? In a cell.

"Twilight!" Pinkie Pie's voice yelled, but when Twilight looked in front of her, Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be seen. "Over here, silly!"

Pinkie Pie was standing right behind her, causing Twilight to squeal in surprise. "Pinkie, how did you—" she cut herself off. It probably wasn't worth asking while she was still in her custody.

"How did I do what?!" Pinkie Pie asked with a cheery voice.

"Nothing."

There was a pause before Pinkie Pie began speaking again. "Fluttershy wants to make sure you didn't have any pets at home who couldn't take care of themselves!"

"Why did she send you?"

"It's a secret!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, but whispered the secret in Twilight's ear anyways. "She's a little shy!"

"Wow. Such a big secret."

"I know! I can still barely believe it myself!"

Twilight shook her head. They were getting off topic. "So she wanted to know if I had any pets . . .?"

"Yep-er-ooni!"

"I have a dragon, but he's not really a pet . . ." Twilight said sheepishly, afraid to degrade Spike even though he wasn't around. "He's more of an assistant, really."

But Pinkie Pie was gone.

. . .

Even though it was noon, and Twilight had done nothing all day, she still felt exhausted. So, naturally, she took and nap and fell asleep.

Only to open her eyes to purple and green scales.