The Shadow of Smoke: A Tale From Outdoor School.

by Iam Atrie

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other
Length: 1306

Cheerilee's students visit an outdoor school for a few days. On the last night, a chilling ghost story is told.

Cheerilee's students visit an outdoor school for a few days. On the last night, a chilling ghost story is told.

[___^___^___}

This story was written for the Writing Lab group's Nightmare Night challenge. It's a bit short and it's not that well written, I think, but I had fun nonetheless. I tried a new writing style, and gained some more experience in writing short, fun, stories, so I'd call this a success no matter the vote outcome.

By the way, I know the ending is a little strange and kinda cliche. This was a little fun story without a serious plot.

Any and all critiques are appreciated.

Published 2013-10-15 00:10:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-15 00:10:03 UTC

The Shadow of Smoke.

The sun coughs out its last breath of sunlight, and finally disappears behind the mountains for the night. Only the pastel orange-purple glow is left to light Camp Fortnight and the fillies and foals that inhabit it.

Ponies of all colours and talents — though some lack cutie marks — sit around a firepit, awaiting a special few to return with firewood, which they are gathering from the forest that surrounds them.

“Ugh. Where are they? I just wanna go to bed already,” a bright pink filly pipes up. “But nooo, we have to listen to a ghost story.”

“Oh c’mon DT, it’s not that bad. We go home tomorrow anyway,” the silver filly sitting right next to her says cheerfully.

“Well it wouldn’t be that bad, if somepony didn’t trip me and make me get mud in my mane,” Diamond Tiara says, casting an angry glance to another camper.

“Ah told ya a thousan’ times! Ah didn’t trip you! You jus’ tripped over a root, which ah was tellin’ everypony ta look out for. Why do ya al—”

“We got firewood!” Squirrel, a yellow pegasus, says as he emerges from the forest accompanied by a colt and filly.

“But it’s wet,” a smaller pegasus states, as she makes her way to a log where Applebloom and Sweetie Belle sit.

“I’m telling you, Scootaloo, you’ve got nothing to worry about. I know what I’m doing.” Squirrel tells her. “Now, who can tell me what we do when wood is too wet to start a fire?”

“Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!” A litte colt shouts.

“Yes, you, what do we do?” Squirrel asks, pointing.

“We peel it!” The eager colt exclaims.

“Exactly! So, everyone grab a piece and peel away! And that means you too, Diamond.”

Groans leak out of the group of a dozen foals as they grouchily make their way to the pile of wood.

Squirrel also picks a piece and begins to carefully peel away the wet bark.

“Now c’mon everypony, after this we get to hear a ghost story, so the faster we get this done the faster we can hear a story!” He explains with a weak smile. He knows the little ponies are tired and bored, and rightfully so. This is their last night of outdoor school, after three previous days of exploring the surrounding tidepools, forest, and meadows, for wildlife.

At least it didn’t rain on this group, like last week’s. He thinks, recalling the few terribly damp nights they had to spend in the cabins.

As everyone finally completed the simple task — except Diamond Tiara, who convinces two smaller colts to do it for her — Squirrel flashily lights the fire with a magically enhanced flint stone and piece of steel.

Flames began to reach the height of the pegasus himself, and once he is satisfied with the size of the fire, he takes a seat on a vacant log. The seat is soggy and uncomfortable, but he has grown used to it.

The beauteous orange-purple finally dissipates from the sky, leaving a silky black and blue sky, with stars to populate it. Some foals inch their seats closer to the fire for extra warmth, but the loud crackling keeps some away.

With the children seated and as comfortable as they can get, Squirrel asks, “Now who’s ready for a ghost story?!”

A few huffs are all he gets in reply.

Yay. Crowd is absolutely pumped. Ugh, this is going to be brutal.

“So, our little story begins inside the Everfree Forest. Within the treacherous forest sleeps a thousand year-old ghoul, named the Shadow of Smoke. It lives in the exact center of the woods where nopony would dare go. The Shadow of Smoke, however, lives everywhere. Wherever smoke can be seen, its shadow is right there with it, silently moving around; stalking. Even this very smoke from this very fire,” he explains, pointing, “has a shadow.

“Everywhere, it dances along trees and walls and even ponies themselves, carefully choosing its victims.

“But enough about what it is. What it does is the scary part.”

The campers still look at the pegasus with bored eyes, and some struggle to stay awake.

“A long time ago, the Everfree used to be a peaceful place. Ponies would stroll through without a care, but one day, one cold, rainy day, that ended.

“Three ponies, one earth, one unicorn, and one pegasus, decided to go off the paths and explore. During the day they would walk around, investigating trees and rocks and wildlife, searching for something, an entity that is rumo—”

“What does ‘entity’ mean?” Sweetie Belle asks, flailing her hoof in the air.

“It essentially means a thing, or creature, and the word is usually used to describe something unexplainable. I think that’s what it means, at least,” Squirrel admits, questioning himself.

“Aww Sweetie Belle, he was just getting to the good part,” Scootaloo says.

“Ugh, yeah, right, good,” Diamond Mocks. “Just hurry up and get this over with already, I’m tired.”

Oh you are going to get such a letter to your parents, just you wait.

“Moving on. Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the ponies were searching for something, which was rumoured to be causing trouble in a nearby town.

“One night, they settled in the very center of the Everfree. An ancient fire pit was there already, so they used it.

“They got the fire started, and began relaxing. Soon, the smoke stopped rising, and started gathering high above them. The moon and stars cast a shadow on the ponies below. The Shadow of Smoke began to swirl around the ponies, but they didn’t notice. They feasted on toasted berries and seeds, laughing and singing and dancing.

“The shadow began to move faster. Light from the fire flickered on the trees around them, revealing a scene of horror. The trees seemed to merge together.

“But the ponies still relaxed, and sang, and ate, and danced.

“Waving wildly, the trees moved together, becoming a solid wall. The shadows from the smoke above danced rapidly, trying to select its victim.

“As the dark shadows finally began to form a pool under each pony’s hooves, they noticed. They tried to scream, but there was no noise. Only the chaos of swirling darkness and flailing trees.

“They notice the wall of trees, but the earth pony bucks at it anyway. The attempt to break the wall is useless.

“They notice the shadows spinning below them, becoming larger and darker by the second. The unicorn tries to disintegrate the shadows with a lightning bolt. His attempt to destroy the Shadow of Smoke is useless.

“They notice the smoke high above, and the pegasus tries to fly over the trees and escape, but she is grabbed by the smoke, and flung back to the ground, where her shadow eagerly awaits.

“The shadows grow larger and larger, faster and faster they swirl, darker and darker they grow, until, finally—”

The fire at Camp Fortnight goes out in a puff of smoke.

A few fillies scream and a few colts yell, but most remain calm.

With the help of a unicorn counselor, who sits behind one of the many trees, the fire is re-lit.

“That was totally lame, Squirrel,” Diamond Tiara says.

“Well I thought it was nice,” says Sweetie Belle, a fake smile on her face.

“Thank you Sweetie, glad you like it. Now, time for bed everypony!” Squirrel tells them, hopping off the log and stretching his legs.

“Ooh! I call top bunk!” Applebloom yells.

“Nuh-uh! Race you for it! First one to the cabin wins!” Scootaloo chips in.

Squirrel sighs, knowing that he will have to somehow calm them enough so they fall asleep. As he follows the energetic students, smoke begins to gather high above them.