And Then There Were Strawberries
“This parfait is terrible,” I said, eyeing the glass in front of me.
“It isn’t so bad,” Fluttershy said from the opposite side of the table. “You shouldn’t be so hard on your baking. I think it’s wonderful!”
“Don’t empathize with it! That’s just what it wants! Back me up, Twilight.”
Giggles from the other side of the table told me Twilight was occupied with Dashie.
“Hey! This is no time to be cutesy-wootsey!”
Dashie looked up, eyebrow raised. “I hope you didn’t just call me “cutesy” and/or “wootsey”. Because if you did? We might have some problems.”
Twilight took mock offense. “What if I think you’re cutesy and wootsey? Should I just walk out on this relationship right now?”
“Well… I guess I can make an exception, just this once, for the hottest librarian in town…” Twilight giggled, and the couple cuddled even harder than before.
“What did I just say about being adorable?” I glared at them.
“Technically nothing, yet. The word you used was ‘cutesy’.”
“THIS IS NO TIME. The yogurt is plotting! CONSPIRING! But I’m on to it.”
“Plotting to do… what, exactly?” asked Fluttershy.
“Be the worst parfait in town.” I slammed my hoof on the table. “But no more!”
I pushed all of the glasses off of the table. They shattered, covering my nice, clean floor in artificial fruit flavor.
“Hey! I was eating that!” cried Rainbow Dash.
“It was eating you!” I screamed in her face. She looked sufficiently intimidated. “Okay. Everypony be cool. We can fix this.”
Twilight looked worried. “Fix… what?”
“This whole conspiratorial culinary conundrum! But what to do, what to do, what to do…” I paced back and forth. “Aha! Strawberries! It needs strawberries!”
“Do… Do you want to go to the market?” asked Rarity.
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, maybe in some strange alternate universe where the market sells fresh, zippy, wild strawberries right off of the vine instead of whatever homogenized, bland, conforming fruits they sell in this one, and we’re all bipedal creatures who attend a nearby secondary school except we all hate each other and Twilight’s not there!”
All I got was a handful of blank stares.
“You girls will never understand me.” I slumped in my chair.
“Pinkie, what can we do to help?” Twilight radiated genuine concern.
I perked up. “All I want, is A-”
“-SCENE TRANSITION!” I yelled at the top of my lungs.
“Eep!” Fluttershy leapt into a shady-looking bush.
I pulled her out by the tail. “I wouldn’t trust that one, Fluttershy. I think it’s hiding something.”
“Be cool, Fluttershy. It’s not like you’ve never been to the forest before.”
“But… It’s so… It’s so dark.”
“Chin up. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
“Except manticores, hydras, cockatrices-” Dashie counted off.
I grabbed Fluttershy before she dove back into the bush. “Wait!” I said. “There’s a much stabler, more respectable bush right over there! He’d be perfect for you!” I gestured at the nice bush from across the street. It waved back neighborly.
She shook me free. “You just don’t understand!” She leapt into the bush and slammed the foliage. I thought I heard a muffled Hoofanescence song. I needed to have a talk with that filly one of these days.
We were on the edge of the Everfree Forest - which is, as anypony will tell you, by far the best place in the environs of Ponyville to find wild strawberries except for Office Supplies and Shrubbery, which is closed on Tuesday and today was Tuesday so that was out of the question -
“What are you doing?” Twilight asked. She always was a sharp one.
“Narrat-” I stopped myself. “This is... Nary a… time? For such silly questions?” Nice save.
“Pinkie, are you okay? You’ve been acting a bit-”
I’ll never know if Twilight was planning on finishing that sentence. Probably not. “We need to split up to cover more ground! AJ, Rarity, you’re in team Pinkie. Fluttershy, try to keep the lovebirds on task. ReadysetGO!” I zoomed into the forest.
“Wait, Pinkie! Wait for us!” Applejack called after me.
“I’ll see you there!” I sang back.
An hour or so later, those slowpokes finally caught up. I was lying in a now-vacant strawberry patch, rubbing my tummy with satisfaction. AJ staggered into the clearing.
“Why did you have to run so far? Do you know how heavy this pack is?” She unbuckled the pack just before her legs gave way beneath her. She glared at Rarity, who had followed closely behind. “Maybe if somepony had helped share the load…”
“Well I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that, especially when you know that I just got a hooficure this morning! And after all that trouble, I’m supposed to just risk a chip? I should say not! Really, Applejack, I just don’t know how you could be so inconsiderate.”
AJ couldn’t take it. She collapsed to the ground and closed her eyes. “Maybe if I wish hard enough, when I open my eyes again, I’ll be back at home, curled up in front of a nice fire. I’ll realize that this whole misadventure was all just a feverish dream, and laugh it off knowin' that our Princesses would never allow anypony to suffer such a horrible fate.”
She sighed heavily, then opened her eyes, only to find mine staring back mere inches away. “LUNA!” she yelped.
“Did it work?” I asked.
“I am going to choose to believe that it did, Pinkie, if only because the alternative is too horrifyin’ to contemplate.”
“Ooh! Does that mean the hellish nightmare hasn’t ended? Are we in the dream world right now? Can I fly!?” I leapt into the air.
I couldn’t fly.
I picked myself up. “Oh well. Hey AJ, if it’s so heavy, why did you bring so much stuff?”
She sighed, then spoke slowly and clearly, which was awfully nice of her. She was really making an effort to make sure I understood. “The forest is a big, confusin’ place, and we might get stuck out here overnight. I don’t want to be without basic supplies like a tinderbox and first aid kit, just in case. And of course the beauty queen insisted I bring her a sleepin’ bag.”
“Do you have any idea - ANY IDEA - how long it would take to get the dirt out of my mane if I slept on the ground?”
“My spine is in so much pain.”
“Makes sense to me!” I looked around. “Looks like I accidentally ate all the strawberries from this patch. We’ll have to find another one!” I zipped back into the forest.
I may never know for sure, but that evening, I thought I heard the anguished cry of a pony who had been abandoned by the very gods she served, left alone, hopeless against insurmountable forces rallied against her.
Oh well, it was probably just my imagination.
“Pinkie, you need to tell me righ’ now that we’re going home, or I will not be held responsible for my actions. I’ve been luggin’ around all this gear for hours.”
“I’m not tired at all!” I said.
“Yeah, well, you’re only carryin’ a hooffull of strawberries. Try walkin’ a mile in my shoes, then talk.”
“AJ, you’re not wearing shoes.”
“I- Pinkie- Agh! It’s just an expression, like sayin’ you’re ‘glued to your seat’ or ‘so hungry you could eat a horse-’ wait.”
My eyes widened. “AJ’S A CANNIBAL!” I screamed, running away.
“Wait! I didn’t mean it like that! Come back here!”
“She’s after me!”
“Would you two cut it out for one minute!?” We didn’t notice that Rarity had stopped walking ten yards behind us. She seemed to be trying to concentrate. Blue sparks glowed on her horn, slowly vibrating with greater and greater intensity and then -
They vanished with a fizzle. Rarity said something very un-ladylike under her breath.
“Are you hearing from Twilight? What does she have to say? Did she find any strawberries? WAIT!”
Rarity looked at me.
“Tell her I say hi!”
She sighed. “Yes I’m trying to talk to Twilight, and I’d love to ask any and all questions you may have, but you’ll need to stop talking for just one minute so I can concentrate. This spell isn’t simple.” And then she added, under her breath, “I’ll never understand how she can cast this so easily, that self-righteous, oh-so-perfect...”
I opened my mouth, but Applejack promptly inserted her hoof. It was probably a good call, Rarity was getting “that” look. I tried to thank her.
“Phnks ayzhay.” Mission accomplished.
Rarity focused her magic for a moment, then stared into space as she telepathically communicated with Twilight. We couldn’t hear their conversation, but just by the look on her face we knew something was wrong. At first she was shocked, then worried. After a few seconds of panic, her resolve strengthened and she wore an inscrutable mask. Soon, she snapped back to reality.
“Rarity, what’s wrong?”
“Fluttershy is hurt, I don’t know how badly.” Rarity’s voice was clinical as she picked up Applejack’s saddlebags, strapping them tight over her shoulders. She noticed our worried faces, and forced a smile. “Twilight was panicking, but you know how she is. I’m sure Fluttershy will be fine. They both need my help, though, and I can’t wait for you two to walk. I’ll teleport directly to them, then launch a signal flare. Follow it.” She sighed as she looked at the setting sun. “Another long night.”
She closed her eyes, gathered her energy, and with a blue flash she was gone. After a few seconds, we heard a distant pop. A blue diamond hung in the sky.
“What’re they doin’ clear out there? That’ll be three miles, I reckon. Rarity was right. We won’t be seein’ Ponyville until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest. Lucky I packed the supplies, not to mention the first aid kit.”
We started walking. The sunset looked like a delicious parfait, lemon streaks accentuating strawberry yumminess. As I watched, dark blue streaks of poison infiltrated the orange, slowly dissolving it away and leaving nothing. I hoped Fluttershy would be okay.
Applejack noticed my silence. “Pinkie, don’t worry about Flutters. Ah’m sure Twilight and Rarity are takin’ good care of her. Why, Twi knows more about what holds you’n’me together than anypony else in Equestria, I reckon. Fluttershy is in capable hooves.”
“But what if she’s not? What if it’s serious? And it was my fault?”
“Don’t think like that. She’ll be right as rain by the time we get there.”
“Really? You really think she’ll be okay?”
“I know she’ll be okay.”
“Heh… Think she’ll be ready for our parfait partay?”
AJ’s grimace said she was feeling much less confident than she let on.
We walked in silence for what seemed like hours. Rarity’s signal didn’t seem to be getting any closer, and I could barely see the path beneath my hooves..
I broke the silence. “Hey, AJ, do-” She cut me off, pressing her hoof to my lips.
“Shhh. D’ya hear that?” She looked around intensely.
“Hear what?” I whispered conspiratorially.
“Like, a snappin’ sound.” She paused, then visibly relaxed. “Must be nothin’, my nerves must be gettin’ to me.”
She walked forward again. I followed, leaning in close. “It was probably a monster! Maybe even a ghost! I hear these woods are haaaaunted!” I teased.
“Not funny.” Applejack kept walking.
“Awww, is widdle AJ afwaid of the dawk?”
“Pinkie, drop it.”
I stopped in my tracks. What was I doing? This wasn’t funny. I guess I was just on edge, worried about Fluttershy. I was taking it out on a friend who needed me.
“AJ-”
“Pinkie, this isn’t the time for jokes!” She turned around on me. “Flutters could have serious problems, and all you-” She stopped. “You have to’ve heard that.”
I had. “What was it?”
“I don’t…” Her eyes widened, looking behind me. “RUN!”
I whirled around, getting a glimpse of something dark moving out of the bushes, a slight sheen reflected from the moonlight, then a hoof turned me around again. My legs started moving on their own, they felt like rocks. Branches scraped across my face, I hardly noticed. AJ was running on my left, I wondered where her hat was. I’d rarely seen her without it. She looked good.
I heard a snarl behind me, steps beating closer. I kept running, but I knew I couldn’t keep it up for long. AJ kept at a breakneck pace, easily outstripping me. Any second now, it’ll be over. It’ll focus on me, and AJ… she’ll get away… My heart beat faster and faster.
Suddenly, a yelp, the sound of branches breaking. AJ’s dry hair brushed against my hoof as I ran.
I kept running. A scream, a wet thunk, then silence.
I kept running.
A mile later, and my legs finally gave out. I lay where I fell, panting and struggling to comprehend what had just happened. Applejack is dead. I felt numb. Applejack is dead. How could she be? She was always the most dependable of ponies. She was always there for anypony. Applejack is dead. It was all because of me. It was my stupid idea to come out here for the stupid strawberries. How could I be so stupid? Applejack is dead, and it’s all my fault.
No! It’s not my fault. I couldn’t have known. She died because she tripped, otherwise it would have been me. I’m not a bad pony. She tripped. It was bad luck. Not my fault. I’m not a bad pony. I’m sure the girls would understand.
Oh! The girls! I jolted upright, ignoring the complaints from my weary limbs. I needed to find them. I walked into a nearby clearing and scanned the sky. Rarity’s sigil still watched over the sleeping woods, and it was very close. The girls will know what to do. Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow, Flutter - Oh Celestia, Fluttershy! I broke into a run. She’s fine, I know she is. I saw the warm glow of a fire in the distance, I ran even harder. Ooh, please be fine, I prayed.
I burst into the clearing, gasping for breath. I counted off the ponies there. Twilight stared into the fire, covered in blood. Rainbow was by her side, a wing draped over her shoulders. Rarity was on the other side of the clearing, head buried in her hooves and quietly shaking. Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen.
Dashie jumped up and squeezed me in a tight embrace. “Pinkie! We were so worried about you! It got so late and you two never showed up and with what happened to Fluttershy...” She trailed off. I could see her struggling to keep a brave face.
“What happened? Where is she?”
She could only nod to the far side of the clearing, where Applejack’s sleeping bag was zipped up beneath a tree. It was lumpy and - oh, Luna.
Twilight still hadn’t moved, her gaze fixed on the coals of the fire. Finally she spoke. “She… She just kept bleeding. I did everything I knew how to do. I applied pressure, I used tourniquets, I tried every spell I’ve ever been taught. She just kept bleeding. There was nothing I could do, there was just blood. Blood everywhere. She was still conscious for most of it. She told me she understood. She told me she knew I tried my best. She told me everything would be okay.” She broke her stare at the fire, turning her attention to me. “Do you know what that’s like? To have a pony’s life in your hooves but there’s nothing you can do and you know it’s all your fault?”
I didn’t answer. I collapsed onto my stomach.
“Pinkie, where’s Applejack?” asked Rainbow Dash.
I stared into the fire. “Twilight? I know what it’s like.”
The camp was silent for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, Dashie stood up. “We need to get out of here. Whatever got Fluttershy and Applejack, it’s still out there. We need to escape the forest and let the Princess know about it. She’ll know how to deal with this.”
Rarity looked around, at Twilight, then Rainbow Dash, then at me, then back to Dash. “Rainbow, you’re not going to like this, but -”
“Please don’t leave me behind.” I looked at Rarity. She seemed acutely interested in a leaf on the ground.
“Pinkie, how could you think we would leave you behind?” Twilight asked. She hadn’t thought this through yet.
“You can all fly, or teleport. All three of you could get away safely. But I can’t. Please don’t let me die.”
Rarity had tears in her eyes. “I don’t like it either, but if we alert the Princess -”
“Don’t leave me all alone!” I started crying.
“Woah woah woah. Nopony’s leaving anypony. Not while I’m around.”
“Can’t you just fly her out?” Twilight asked.
Rainbow didn’t even consider it. “Nah, too much weight. I couldn’t go more than a few hundred yards. We need a real solution, and one that doesn’t turn this into Mare of the Flies.” She shot a glare at Rarity. “We don’t abandon friends.”
I looked at Dashie, defending me so loyally, so selflessly. I couldn’t handle it.
“I did.”
“Pinkie. What happened to Applejack wasn’t your fault. You can’t blame yourself.”
“There was nothing you could have done.” Twilight twisted the knife.
“I tripped her.” They all looked shocked, but I couldn’t stop. “We were running and the monster was gaining on us but she was faster than me and I-I was just so scared I… I’m not a bad pony.” I turned to bury my face in Rainbow’s shoulder, but she pushed me away. I looked up at her, tears in my eyes, “Dashie, I-” She pushed me again. I didn’t resist, and fell to the ground.
She stepped towards me, her expression full of malice. “How dare you? How dare you let her die, and then come beg us to show you mercy?”
“Dashie, I… It would have killed me, I couldn’t stop myself. I’m not a bad pony.”
She shook her head. “Twilight, Rarity, we’re leaving.” She crouched to fly off.
“Please no wait!” I was openly sobbing.
Something tore on the opposite side of the clearing, where Fluttershy’s body lay. The sleeping bag was bulkier than I remembered it, and it was moving, rustling back and forth. We watched, silent, as a black hand with razor-sharp claws slowly ripped through the fabric. It was quickly joined by another, and they forced the hole wider. Suddenly, a lean, black shape burst out with supernatural speed, running right for me.
Rainbow Dash didn’t hesitate. She charged directly at it, aiming a kick. It never landed. The beast dodged it easily, snatching Rainbow out of the air as she flew by and thrusting her onto the ground. Her head was directly in the firepit, and her mane was quickly set ablaze. The black monster went to work with its claws, bloodstained plumage hung in the air. A purple mass blasted it in the side, and Twilight was wrestling it on the ground while Rainbow Dash rolled her face in the dirt, still burning. The beast screamed an unnatural cry as Twilight gored it with her horn. Twilight shrieked, and the monster exploded in a cascade of yellow blood and purple magic. I thought it was over, but Twilight writhed in the dirt, covered in the creature’s blood. Her screaming still tore at my ears.
Eventually, it ended. Twilight lay exhausted in the dirt, her skin horribly burned. Rainbow Dash hadn’t moved for several seconds, laying in a pool of her own blood. I tried to go help, but Rarity held me back. She shook her head at me.
Twilight crawled over to her fillyfriend and tried to tend her wounds. “Rainbow? C-can you hear me?” I could hear the pain in her voice.
“T… Twilight…” Rainbow’s familiar rasp was quiet. “Th-that… Was the coolest thing you’ve ever done.”
Twilight tried to smile, but it came out as a lopsided grimace. “You weren’t… weren’t so bad yourself. You know I…love a mare who’s not afraid of a fight. I… I won’t live through this. B-but you… you have to. You’re Rainbow Dash. You can’t… can’t let yourself go out like this. It’s your code: just keep going.”
Rainbow wrapped a bloodied hoof around her. “I… I think I’ll have to make an… exception… for the hottest… librarian… in…” Her head lolled back, vacant eyes gazing into the stars.
Twilight held her close, crying into her shoulder. After a few minutes, she lost consciousness, never to wake up.
Rarity and I were walking back to town. We had left our friends’ bodies where they lay; there was nothing we could do about them now. As soon as we got back, we’d alert the guards and they would organize a search party.
We walked in silence. Our friendship was over; knowing that the other pony wouldn’t hesitate to let you die to save themselves isn’t exactly conducive to a healthy relationship. Even if we hadn’t betrayed each other, though, we still would probably never have spoken again. We’d shared too many memories with the rest of the girls, seeing each other would just have rekindled old wounds.
“Wait a minute. This doesn’t add up,” said Rarity.
I bumped into her as she stopped walking. “Really Rarity? I just narrated that we ‘walked in silence’.”
“I don’t have time for your blatant insanity right now! Think about it. That monster came from inside the sleeping bag. How did it get there? Why would it sneak into there instead of just attacking us?”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m saying it would have had to have come from Fluttershy’s…” She cleared her throat. “But Fluttershy was in that bag when you and Applejack were chased.”
“R-Rarity, I don’t like where you’re…”
“There have to have been two of the monsters.”
As if on cue, a dark, spindly shape crawled down the tree directly in front of us. It towered over our heads, snarling.
Rarity took one look at it, and then blue sparks started vibrating on her horn as she screwed her face up in concentration. She was going to teleport! I started running, knowing that the monster could easily outrun me. This was it, I was going to die. No one to feed to it this time. End of the line.
Fizzle.
I would have laughed aloud if I didn’t need my breath so much.
I ran in a haze, never looking back, never slowing down. A time or two, I could have sworn that I heard sharp claws beating their way towards me, but I just ran harder. After what seemed like days, the forest got thinner. I could see the lights of Ponyville.
Still my hooves beat on. I didn’t allow myself to believe that I had made it, that I had escaped. I passed the library. Twilight was dead. I passed the Carousel Boutique. Rarity was dead. I passed Applejack’s market stall. It wasn’t my fault! I’m not a bad pony.
I had no idea how far I had run that night. My legs felt like they were made of concrete, and my entire body was sore. I was confused, scared, and miserable. I had no idea where I should go. Will that monster find me even here? Should I keep running? I found myself in Town Square. Which direction is away? I looked frantically around, in every direction there appeared to be another sinewy shadow, its teeth bared at me. They approached me, surrounded me. I couldn’t escape, I had nowhere to go.
I lay down and sobbed myself into unconsciousness.
I felt a pair of hooves shaking me. Slowly I opened my eyes and saw those of Lyra Heartstrings looking right back.
“Are you okay?”
I nodded dumbly. I had no recollection of the last night. “Where’m’I?”
“You’re in the middle of the street. Are you drunk? At… eight in the morning?” In her defense, it wasn't that implausible.
I shook my head, and allowed myself to be helped onto my hooves.
Lyra pressed the issue. “What happened last night?”
I wracked my brain. “I remember going into the forest with the rest of the girls and then… nothing. Have you seen them?”
“Can’t say that I have.”
We passed the schoolyard. Two foals were racing. Upon seeing she was losing, one of them stretched out a hoof, tripping the other. She laughed as she crossed the finish line. What a rotten thing to do! It wasn’t funny at all! Cheerilee ran over and helped the victim to his feet before dragging the cheater off. Serves her right.
“Woah, Pinkie, are you okay?” Lyra looked sympathetic.
I snapped out of my reverie. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
She looked worried. “Pinkie, you’re… you’re crying.”
I noticed a single tear running down my cheek. “Huh. That’s… weird,” I said, rubbing it away.
We walked in silence until we stood at the door of Sugarcube Corner. “Well, here we are,” Lyra said.
“Thanks for walking me home.”
“For sure! I’d never leave a friend in need hanging! Once you remember what happened last night, be sure to fill me in! I’m sure the story is crazy.” She turned away to go about her business just in time to miss another tear.
What is going on with me? I set my saddlebags on a table. Wait. These aren’t mine. These are Applejack’s! Why do I have these? I made a mental note to return them that afternoon. But first, I’d spent the night laying in the street and it showed.
I went upstairs and drew a nice, warm bath. Feeling refreshed, I came back to the main floor to set up shop for the day. What’s that smell? I followed the aroma to Applejack’s saddlebags. I unlatched them and dumped their contents onto the table: two hooffuls of the sweetest-looking wild strawberries I’d ever seen.
The events of the night prior came flooding back to me: Leaving Applejack to die. The horrible visage of the monster, its shining white teeth and oily chitin. Twilight and Rainbow’s disfigured corpses, lit by a dying fire, locked in an eternal, deathly embrace. All of my friends, dead.
And then I made the best parfait ever.
Author's Note
Edited on 2013-11-14, to fix the italics that didn't transfer from gdocs to the Fimfic box. I did it for you, Kexxy!
