A Great and Powerful Romance

by Fic Critic

Rating: mature
Tags: Romance, Original Character, Trixie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Sex
Length: 2104

A romance fanfiction including Trixie Lulamoon and an OC of mine, Critical Rain. I was inspired to do this after being on a forum website for some time, and after shipping Trixie with my OC. This'll be my take on it.

Critical Rain, a pegasus critic who lives in Ponyville, is off for a walk in his hometown, on his day off. He sees a cart in the distance, and notices Trixie. He walks towards her in an attempt to drive her off. After failing to drive her away, Critical learns something about Trixie he never knew. And this new information might start something Critical never intended to start. And will never want to stop.

Published 2013-10-21 01:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-11-05 03:06:11 UTC

The Love Begins

Critical let go of Trixie and lowered himself to the ground. He opened his wings and asked Trixie "Would you like to go for a flight?"

Trixie put her hat and cape on as she shouted "Yes!" She climbed onto Critical and asked "Where to?"

Critical smiled at Trixie and said "Hold on Trixie, you're in for a ride." He flew off Trixie's stage and began flying across Ponyville. Trixie held onto Critical for dear life. She smiled a bit and hugged the back of Critical's neck. Critical felt this and blushed. After a while, Critical landed and himself and Trixie in front of a lake and rested there. The sun was setting, and te light glistened off the lake.

Trixie smiled as she rested her head on Critical's shoulder and said "This is really nice."

Critical felt Trixie resting on him and blushed harder. "I know........." was all Critical could say.

Trixie began forming a plan as a way to thank Critical for helping her. Trixie got an idea and asked Critical "Where do you live?"

Critical pointed to a house down the road and said "Over there."

Trixie faked a yawn as she requested of Critical "Can I sleep at your house? I'm feeling a bit tired."

Critical shrugged and said "Ok. I don't see why not." Critical got up, and led Trixie to his house. They walked inside, and Critical told Trixie "The bedroom's upstairs, bathroom is 2 doors next to that."

Trixie nodded and said "Thanks. Could you wait here for me?"

Critical got a confused look and said "Ok......." What are you planning? he thought to himself, wondering why Trixie was having him wait.

Trixie walked upstairs to the bathroom and began freshening up. She slicked her mane down, and applied some make up that she had in a pocket in her cape. Trixie ran into the bedroom, hid and shouted "Critical!? Could you come to the bedroom, please!?"

Critical shouted back "Alright!" He walked up into his bedroom and saw that Trixie wasn't in sight. "Trixie?" Critical asked "Are you here?" The door shut behind him and revealed Trixie, who seductively said "Hello, Critical." Critical looked behind him and saw Trixie, with her mane wet and slicked down, and with make up on her face. His wings puffed up as he thought to himself What have I gotten myself into?

The Love Begins (For Real This Time)

Trixie gave Critical a lustful look as she giggled at the sight of his puffed out wings.

Critical gave a confused look, feigning stupidity. He knew what Trixie was trying to do, but still asked "What're you doing?"

Trixie walked up to Critical's face and whispered "Thanking you." She gently rubbed Critical's puffed out wings, to which he backed away and blushed intensely.

Critical began sweating as he began to say "Trixie, this is so sudden. I don't think......." Critical was suddenly interrupted as Trixie began passionately kissing Critical. Her horn glowed as Critical tried to break free. He eventually began enjoying himself and closed his eyes, kissing Trixie back. Their lips locked together as Critical began flapping his wings, flying them to his bed.

After about an hour, Critical and Trixie laid beside one another. They sighed as they contemplated about what just happened. Trixie's hat and cape dangled from the edge of the bed, as she kicked them off and asked Critical "Did you enjoy my thanks.

Critical smiled as he said, looking towards Trixie "Yes. You really didn't have to do all that."

Trixie smiled and began twirling Critical's mane around her hoof and asked "How else could I say thanks?"

Critical gave a slight shrug as he replied "I don't know, but what if you become pregnant?"

Trixie giggled and said"I guess we'll have to get married then."

Critical chuckled as he hugged Trixie and said "Goodnight." Trixie and Critical then fell asleep, as the next morning awaited them.

Epilogue

Critical and Trixie went on numerous dates after that fateful night of......shall we say "bliss?" Eventually, Critical proposed,and the 2 were expected to get married. The fateful day came, and Critical stood at the alter, with Trixie walking towards him. As the 2 stared into each others eyes, the pastor spoke. "Dearly beloved" he began "We are gathered here today to celebrate the unison of these to ponies in holy matrimony. Whosoever objects to these two being wed, raise your voice and stand now, or forever hold your peace." The crowd stood silent as the pastor called for the ring bearer. Critical and Trixie took their rings as the pastor asked "Do you, Critical Rain take Trixie to be your lawfully wedded wife, through sickness and health, to death do you part?"

Critical smiled a great smile as he put the ring on Trixie's hoof and said "I do."

The pastor looked towards Trixie and asked "Do you, Trixie Lulamoon, take Critical to be your lawfully wedded husband, through sickness and health, to death do you part?"

Trixie smiled back at Critical as she put the ring on his hoof and said "I do."

The pastor smiled slightly and said "Then by the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Critical smiled as he kissed Trixie, flying up in the air in the process. the crowd was in tears of joy as they cheered. Critical stopped kissing Trixie for a brief moment to say "I love you, Trixie."

Trixie smiled back as she said "Shut up and kiss me." before kissing Critical again. Critical felt bliss as he kissed Trixie. The sun silhouetted them with it's light, as Critical flew him and Trixie off to their honeymoon.

After about a year of being married, Trixie became pregnant and had a filly. Critical was called into the hospital room as she witnessed Trixie hugging their new daughter. "What should we name her?" Critical asked

Trixie smiled and said "I think I'll call her.......Thunder Rain."

Chapter 1: Introduction

Critical Rain was taking a trot around Ponyville, relishing in his day off from his job as one of Equestria's best critics. What a great day. Critical thought to himself, enjoying himself. He continued walking until he accidentally bumped into a cart. Critical began scanning the cart as he said to himself "Why does this cart seem familiar?"

"HALT!" a loud voice came from the other side of the cart.

"Whose there?" Critical asked the mysterious voice

"TIS I!" the voice shouted, revealing itself as Trixie "THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!"

"Trixie!?" Critical shouted on disbelief "What're you doing here!?"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is here to put on a show for the ponies of Ponyville!" Trixie shouted triumphantly

"After you became a tyrant?" Critical asked sarcastically "I doubt that they'd accept you Trixie."

Trixie blushed slightly as she shouted "SILENCE, YOU PEASENT!"

Critical felt his cheeks burn as he said back sarcastically "The Great and Intelligent Critical has had it with your ignorance! You have done nothing but cause trouble for Ponyville since your first showed your face! So get out, before I have to chase you out!"

Trixie felt offended and wanted to say something, but couldn't figure out what to say. She could only open and close her mouth in desperation to say something.

"What's wrong Great and Pathetic Trixie, cat got your tongue?" Critical rudely asked with a sarcastic tone.

"SHUT UP!" Trixie was finally able to say, slightly tearing up "You don't know what it's like to be a second rate unicorn! Always getting second place, having to resort to cursed artifacts to make it to the top! Anything I did with the Alicorn Amulet, it was because I was being turned to madness by it!" Trixie began to cry even more, accidentally breaking out of her habits of speaking in the third person,and continued, saying "Nothing can express the guilt I feel about all I've done! You want to hear it again!? I'M SORRY!"

Critical held his hoof to his chest as he simply sat in front of Trixie, watching her break down into tears. He walked next to Trixie, wrapped his wing around her and whispered to her "No.........I'm sorry."

Chapter 2: The Romance Begins

Trixie sniffled a bit as she wiped her eyes and said sheepishly "Wha.......what do you mean?"

Critical sighed and said "You're right. I've never known what it's like to be a second rate unicorn. I've never resorted to using evil charms. So I can never understand what you've been through. You have my sympathies, Trixie."

Trixie let out a small smile and asked Critical "What was your name again? Critical?"

Critical Rain smiled and introduced himself properly, saying "My name is Critical Rain." He paused for a bit and asked Trixie " Y'know, I don't know your full name. What is it?"

Trixie proudly revealed her last name, proclaiming "My full name is Trixie Lulamoon."

Critical formed a slight smile and said "I like it. It's a cute name."

Trixie began to blush as she said "Well..........I've got a show to put on. I guess I'll see you around?"

"I sure hope so." Critical said happily "It's nice to see that you've seen the error of your ways and that you're trying to change. I'll be around to see your performance." Critical bid Trixie goodbye, and felt his stomach growl. He left to his house to grab a small snack as Trixie finished fixing up her cart. Soon, the fireworks on Trixie's cart began flashing, which gathered a crowd.

"HERE YE, HERE YE!" Trixie shouted as she appeared onstage with a puff of smoke "WITNESS THE RETURN OF THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!!!!" The crowd looked confused at first, wondering why Trixie had returned.

"GET OUT OF HERE, YOU WITCH!!" a random pony in the crowd shouted, throwing a tomato at Trixie. After a short amount of time, the rest of the crowd joined in, and not long after, Trixie was covered in trash. Trixie attempted to raise her voice, shouting "H...HOW DARE YOU TRY AND ASSAULT THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!?" This only angered the crowd, and caused more trash to be thrown her way. Eventually, Trixie hid behind the curtains of her cart, and burst into tears. Meanwhile, Critical had watched the event unfold, and saw the crowd misplaced anger towards Trixie. His face turned blood red with anger, which, mixed with his dark blue coat, caused him to appear an unnatural shade of purple. He ran out of his house and flew on stage, shouting "ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!" The crowd stopped for a brief moment to hear what Critical had to say, while Trixie tearfully poked her head through the curtains to find Critical on her stage, wondering what he was doing here.

Critical's Anger

Critical scanned the crowd with an incredibly enraged look. "Who was the first one to start throwing trash?" Critical asked seriously.

A stallion stood up and shouted "IT WAS ME! WHAT'RE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT I....."

Critical punched the stallion before he could finish talking. The crowd, plus Trixie gasped as Critical breathed heavily. He flew back onto the stage and shouted "WHAT WERE YOU ALL THINKING!?" Critical began to calm down and continued his speech. "I know Trixie has done some bad things in the past. And I understand your anger. But if you could just take a second to calm down, you'd notice that Trixie has changed."

"How do you know she's changed?" a pony in the crowd called out

"Because she told me herself." Critical said, wiping Trixie clean from the trash that covered her.

"And you believe her?" the pony asked.

"Yes." Critical simply said.

Trixie was shocked at the fact that Critical trusted her. "You.......you're really trust me?" she shyly aksed, speaking in the first person.

Critical looked at Trixie and saw how shy she was. He hugged Trixie and said "Of course I do."

Trixie gasped for a bit as Critical hugged her out of nowhere. She wrapped her hooves around Critical and hugged him back. "Thank you........" Trixie said through held back tears. "Thank you for helping me."

The crowd stood dumbfounded, murmuring among each other about the events that had just transpired. Out of nowhere, the pony that Critical had punched began clapping slowly. The crowd slowly joined in, and soon enough, everyone was in an uproar as Critical and Trixie hugged onstage.

Author's Note

There will be more, dear reader. Trust me, there will be more.

This isn't mature for nothing. :pinkiecrazy: