One & One-Thousand Daily Pony Challenge Entries

I haven't been in Ponyville long. I used to be human. The day that I woke up on the ground in Ponyville center was one of the most traumatic days of my life. Here I, a common human, woke up to find that I had turned into a pony over night and then dropped into a world I knew little about, with Pinkie Pie screaming in my face. Thankfully she realized that my own screams were ones of terror, not delight, and summoned some of her friends post haste.

I lay quivering on the ground shouting at the 'intruders', panic doting my every facet. Twilight Sparkle used her magic to put me into a peaceful slumber while Applejack and Rainbow Dash carried me to the hospital, and there I awoke; ready to approach this new development with my head on a bit straighter.

There I found out that Twilight discovered an unusual magic aura around me. Residual traces of a powerful form of transportation and transfiguration magic flecked my coat. When I told her that I wasn't a pony she believed me and with little ado she brought me to the attention to the resident rulers; Co-rulers Princesses Celestia and her sister Luna. Without too much questioning they declared me safe, provided I am kept under a watchful eye, and allowed me citizenship. Be I a citizen or not, I still had nothing here, and I had left behind so much.

Soon after I was released from the hospital. With no home and no money to my name I bounced between the homes of Twilight's various friends. I slowly learned more and more about this strange world. Almost immediately I noted that there were ponies that were different from one another. Rainbow Dash had wings, Rarity had a horn, Applejack had neither, and Twilight Sparkle had both.

Twilight explained that she is an 'alicorn' princess of Equestria, that Applejack is an 'earth' pony, Rarity is a 'unicorn', and Rainbow Dash is a 'pegasus'. Pegasi can, naturally, fly, unicorns can use 'magic', which I still know little about, and earth ponies are extraordinarily strong and are in tune with nature. Meanwhile alicorns get the best of all three races.

Twilight tried her best, but her teaching methods were arduous and sapped at my willingness to continue life. Finally I burst. She was rambling on, explaining how pegasi fly, when I cried out for reprise.

“Twilight! Please stop!” I called out suddenly, raising my head from it's position; firmly planted on the flat of the desk I was seated before.

“Do you need a moment to get caught up in your notes?” She smiled, her head swiveling in my direction her; her ears as pointed as her wings. When she gets caught up she goes and goes. I don't think she even 'sees' while shes going at it. She's so lost in her thoughts she doesn't even notice that I had lost track of what she's been saying for the last half hour, my murmurings for her to cease falling upon deaf ears.

“No Twilight. I don't need a moment to get caught up. I am so utterly lost. I don't even know how far back you need to go.” I sighed heavily and my wings fell limply to my side. I dipped my head to the floor. “This isn't working Twilight. I am a good student, but your teaching methods are too much for me to keep pace with. Reciting facts and figures to me isn't helping at all. These are things that everyone learns at an extremely slow paces over several years while in elementary and high school.”

“What's a 'high school'?” She asked me, her head canting to the side in cute curiosity.

“It's a second school system that teen age students enter for four years. It's a lot like the first school you go to, but the day is divided into several periods. The students can choose what courses to fill those periods with, except for the basic classes that everyone has to take.” I explained to her, roaming dangerously far off topic. Learning about my world put Twilight into a fervor that was much more heated than the one she entered when she tried to teach me about hers. Within moments a quill and parchment levitated over and I could hear her scribbling away vigorously.

“How fascinating!” She peered at me from over the top of her parchment. “I assume the students choose what courses they take based on what they want to do in life, correct?”

“Y-yeah. I took a lot of science courses in school. I wanted to be a doctor, but it was a long path and I eventually changed my mind and decided that I wanted to enter law enforcement.” I explained to her.

“Oh! That's what Canterlot High was! I knew it was a school and it was called Canterlot High but I never understood what a high school was!” Twilight had told me about her adventures in a human world. Sadly it was not my human world. Come to find out I couldn't use the mirror at all. Twilight was able to peek her head through its surface, but when I tried all I got was a sizable bruise.

“Twilight were getting off topic.” I sighed heavily once again. I felt a frown tugging at my mouth. “I don't see how I'm going to learn all of this stuff in a couple of weeks.”

“Well I'm going as slow as I can go.” She told me, concern filling her features.

“I know you are, but have you ever considered you might not be the best of teachers.”

“I'm not trying to be rude. I just...” I let my words drift.

“You need a real teacher!” Twilight said suddenly, her spirits lifting. “You're right, and it's important that your need for knowledge be met before my want to teach. Let's go, I know just the mare.”

And thus Twilight levitated over a saddle bag and draped it over my back and burdened it, thus me, with a fresh load of books, and together we headed out the door of her library and into Ponyville.

I haven't been in Ponyville long. My time spent here has mostly been spent inside the Golden Oak Library. It was a wonderful source of knowledge, but there was no method to the madness. I had no base to go off of with pony history, anatomy, custom, and traditions. You have to have a foundation to build a building and Twilight just didn't know where to start. Most foals learned this kind of stuff over the several years they attend school and during time spent with their family. The elementary stuff, like how their bodies worked, and their etiquette. I had a grasp on pony body language, seeing as I emulated most of it on a instinctual level, but their customs were lost on me. Especially ones regarding Pinkie Pie, but Twilight assured me that even she did not understand how that pony worked.

Off in the distance I could hear children playing. Or foals as they were called. It was scary how many parallels our world had. Children still sounded and played like children, pony or human. These sound brought to me a type of nostalgia that was discerning. As Twilight and I approached the school house and attached playground the jovial sounds of children having fun grew louder, and soon they were all in sight. The girls and boys or actually, the fillies and colts came out of the wood work to gather around Twilight. Some of them bowed, but three fillies in particular ran right up to her and threw themselves into her hooves.

“Twilight!” They shouted in unison as their little bodies wrapped around Twilight's various limbs. Twilight giggled uncontrollably as more foals joined and a pony pile formed around her. Unfortunately I was dragged into it and ended up under the weight of Twilight and several foals in a writhing, giggling, mass of pony.

“Everypony! Please show some respect, Princess Twilight is a princess after all!” A young mare quickly trotted over to the scene. She was a vivid reddish pink with a two tone pale rose mane with even paler highlights.

“That's quite alright miss Cheerilee. I've been telling ponies since day one to treat me no more different than they had before.” Twilight looked up at Cheerilee from her back while most of the schools population glomped her.

“And that's quite all right Miss Sparkle, but it's still important they respect everypony's personal space. Your friend there got dragged into it. Everypony, please.” She beckoned the foals to disperse. While offering a hoof to me so I could get on my feet.

“Sorry Twilight, and mr. pegasus sir.” A southern drawl rang from from a yellow filly that was the leader of the charge.

“Yeah, were sorry too Twilight!” Two other voices, an orangish-brown filly with a purple mane and a white marsh-mellowly filly with a purple and pink mane, apologized as well.

“It's okay girls. Though, Cheerilee is right. It's okay to pony-pile me like that.” Twilight smiled heartily. “But it's important to be respectful of everypony's personal space.”

“Recess will be over in ten minutes, everypony.” And with that all the colts and fillies shot off in various directions, leaving Twilight, Cheerilee, and I alone to talk. I already had a working suspicion on what Twilight was planning, and her next words confirmed it for me.

“So Cheerilee, do you have space in your class for one more?”

“There's always room in the school for a foal who wants to learn.” Cheerilee said without missing a beat.

“Well Patience here isn't exactly a foal.” Twilight gestured to me.

“P-patience?” Cheerilee turned to me. “There's no way you haven't been through school already?”

“Well I have, but not here.” I said tentatively, unsure of how much to reveal about my origin.

“All Equestrian schools follow the same standard, Cloudsdale to Manehattan. Where ever your went to school you would have learned the same stuff there as you would here.

“Yeah... no.” I shook my head. “I'm not from this world.” I ventured with my words slowly, hoping Twilight would jump in if I were about to say something I shouldn't have. She didn't so I felt it was okay to go into more detail. “Up until around two weeks ago I wasn't even a pony.” The look of confusion that spread across Cheerilee's face was novel.

“Not a pony?” Cheerilee turned to Twilight for confirmation, and than began to laugh. “Oh, ho ho, you almost had me miss Sparkle.” She smiled brightly, but it faded when Twilight's expression did not falter.

“This is completely serious Cheerilee. Patience used to be a human, a species I've seen, and been, before. He's stuck here and he knows not a single thing about our world. From experience, I know how scary that can be. I want to help him, but it turns out that I'm not that best teacher.

“He's made a rather valid point that everything he needs to learn is taught to our foals as they grow and go through school. He's very intelligent, but there's so much ground to cover. Now that I think about it; too much ground to cover for me to teach him. If he is going to be a citizen of Equestria he needs to understand the world he now lives in, and the body he inhabits.

“His curriculum definitely needs to be mixed with real life experience, but before he even starts he needs a teacher who is experienced. He needs you Cheerilee.”

To her credit, Cheerilee did not falter. She took stock for a moment and collected her thoughts and then turned on me.

“It's safe to assume you already know math and grammar, correct?” She asked me.

“Um, yes. Along with a basic understanding of the sciences that have no magical influence. I'm here more for a history and culture lesson.” I explained.

“Well recess is over, come with me.” She began to move to the school house.

“N-now?”

“Yes.” She told me, and then turned to the foals in the playground. “Recess is over! Everypony to your desks!” The colts and fillies whined as they made their way back to the room but assembled themselves in an orderly fashion. The group entered the schoolhouse, the teacher and I pulling up the rear, and settled down in they desks. Cheerilee led me to the front of the class and indicated for me to stand in front of all the foals. I stood there, feeling awkward, until she began to address the class.

“Okay everypony. As you all can see there's somepony new in the class today. Everypony say 'hello' to Patience.”

“Hello Mr. Patience!” The class rang out in unison.

“Are you here to teach us about something cool?!” The orangish filly with a purple mane asked me.

“No, Scootaloo, Patience is here to learn.” Cheerilee answer the inquisitive filly's question. “Mr. Patience comes from a land far away from here. He doesn't know much about our customs and our history, so I've invited him to be my assistant so he can participate in class.” So I'm her assistant now, clever.

“Where do you come from mister!?” The red and yellow filly with the southern twang asked me.

“Probably somewhere dumb.” I heard another filly, pink with a purple and white mane, whisper to her gray friend.

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, care to share your conversation with the rest of us?” I hear Cheerilee's voice ring out from behind me.

“Eh he he, I-I was just saying, um, he probably comes from somewhere... cool?” She plowed her way through the bluff with the grace of a bull in a china shop.

“Well Patience where do you come from?” I threw Cheerilee an incredulous glance.

“It's really, really far away, and the people there act differently.” I said slowly, no need to reveal that I was in fact an alien.

“Mr, what's a 'people'?” The white marsh-mellowly one asked me.

“Oh, they don't use nouns like 'everypony' or 'pony', they say 'everybody' and 'people'. People is just a word that describes a set of beings. It would be more appropriate to use the word 'people' if you're addressing a group of mixed species. Like if gryphon and a pony are sitting at a table. You can't say 'those ponies' because the gryphon isn't a pony, and you can't say 'those gryphons' because the pony isn't a gryphon, so you say... people.” I tapered my long winded explanation when I realized that I was doing Cheerilee's job. “Right, so it's nice to meet everyone... opps, I mean everypony.”

“Okay, everypony, I know we've already done a lesson on cutie marks, but I think for Patience sake I should cover it very briefly.” She went to her desk and shuffled through the paperwork inside until she found two pictures. She marched up to the blackboard and stuck them onto the surface with a bit of tape. Right at that moment there was a collective gasp going around the room.

“He doesn't have a cutie mark!” Scootaloo pointed out.

“Oh ehm Cee, not another blank-flank. An adult too, how lame.” Diamond Tiara said in her prissy valley girl tone. Silver Spoon giggled like a good little follower. I looked around the class trying to identify what in the world a cutie mark was. I finally concluded that it must be the butt tattoo that every pony seemed to have. Well not every pony, I didn't have one, and neither did the three fillies that charged Twilight earlier. Upon hearing the word 'blank-flank' the trio all frowned and cast glares at Diamond Tiara and then exchanged glances between themselves for a few moment.

“Yes Patience doesn't have a cutie mark.” Cheerilee took charge of the class, quieting down the chatter. “What you all don't know is that he was involved in a magical accident and was deprived of his pony memories. He lived in this far away land but then the accident happened and he came here. He lost his identity and his knowledge about what it means to be a pony.” The explanation was simple and had holes I could jump through, but it worked for the foals.

“Back to the lesson, everypony.”