Chapters Chapter 1: Silent Night
A cool evening breeze floated in through the windowsill of the royal chambers. Dim candlelight illuminated Princess Celestia's study as piles of paperwork lay stacked in neat bundles. Princess Celestia herself had been finishing up some work still left behind, and it was well into the night before she realized it was time for bed. A soft glow enveloped her quill as she tucked it away in place, gently floating it down beside her nearly empty ink bottle.
Preparing to retire for the night, she slowly started disrobing from her symbolic garments. Sliding off the golden slippers and ornate, bejeweled necklace, the princess levitated them one by one into a nearby drawer, placing them down with soft thuds against the carved wooden boards. Just as she sat down on her bed, removing the tiara from her tired head, she heard a rigid knocking at her door.
"Come in," the princess called out, sliding off the last of her jewellery. Who could have wanted to see her at such a late hour? She wondered. As the doorknob turned with a soft click, the wooden panel opened inward to reveal a sleek, dark armored pony bearing bat wings. Celestia recognized her as captain Artemis of the night guard. Although the two had never really spoken with each other much before, Celestia had caught glimpses of her in the night guard every so often.
"Good evening, Princess Celestia," greeted the soldier, giving a stiff, formal salute.
"At ease, captain," Celestia waved a casual hoof at her. "I do not recall having planned anything with the night guard at this particular hour. Pray tell, what brings you here tonight?"
"Princess Luna wishes to speak to you, your majesty," Artemis relayed simply. "She awaits your arrival in her chambers."
Celestia looked to the large grandfather clock to her side, as she stifled a tired yawn. It read just past midnight. "It is quite late, captain. Couldn't this wait until morning?" she asked.
"My apologies, your majesty, but Princess Luna has made it clear that this is an urgent issue. I suggest that you should go see her now, if at all possible. But of course, the decision rests with you, princess," Artemis subtly advised.
"Hmm, did she tell you what this was all about?" Celestia really didn't want to get up now. It was much too late for her tastes, and she had work to do in the morning.
"I'm afraid not, ma'am," was the captain's only reply. It was clear that tonight, she only played the role of the messenger.
"All right, then," Celestia sighed softly, getting up from the comforts of her soft mattress and linen sheets. "I will be with her shortly. You are dismissed."
The soldier gave another short salute before exiting the room and marching down the halls. Princess Celestia followed shortly after, turning the other direction and making her way down to her sister's bedchambers. Yawning sheepishly, she blinked rapidly a few times to shake her fatigue. Whatever this call was for, she hoped it wouldn't keep her up too long into the night.
At the late hour, Celestia encountered nopony else as she approached the door to Luna's room. She gave a few, curt knocks on the door before entering. Luna's quarters remained as she had remembered for the past couple centuries, ambient atmosphere surrounded by a deep blue colour scheme. The ceiling was lined with a pattern of stars, and the wall at the far side of the room was had been replaced by a large, clear glass window with its curtains drawn. Soft moonlight spilled in, lighting the room just enough for Celestia to see its contents clearly. Shelves of books lined the walls, in quantities only surpassed in libraries and most of Twilight Sparkle's personal rooms. The soft carpet floor brushed against Celestia's hooves as she trotted in, the soothing scent of midnight lilies flowing out from a vase on the desk nearby.
It was so different from her own chambers, Celestia thought to herself, as she scanned her sister's study with tired eyes. Not a single sheet of paperwork lay cluttered on the desk like her own. The only thing that rested on the wooden surface was a small, black book whose cover was decorated with a swirl of stars, neatly folded with a bookmark tucked in. Opening the book to the saved page, the princess was greeted by a picture of an old, familiar painting. Luna and Celestia in their foalhood years, laughing innocently in a field of white flowers. Celestia couldn't help but smile at the flood of warm memories it brought back.
Despite the childhood nostalgia, Celestia didn't forget why she was here in the first place. As nice as the place looked, there was one crucial detail missing from the large room. "Luna?" Celestia called out. "Luna, where are you?"
From the far end of the room, a rustle could be heard coming from the bed. A dark blue alicorn pushed a clump of sheets off herself, sitting upright to reveal her face to the room's newly received recipient. The lunar princess's normally wavy and floating mane had lost its magical properties, turning back into simple, disheveled blue locks that fell over her eyes.
"I apologize for not getting up to say hello, Celestia. I'm afraid I am feeling rather ill at the moment, you see," Luna smiled weakly, brushing her hair out of the way.
"Is that so? Because if I remember correctly, you were in peak physical condition during Tuesday's checkup," Celestia chided, smiling softly as she trotted up to the bed. "I'm sure it's nothing serious to you, Luna. You'll be up and perfectly healthy the first thing tomorrow morning. But… to be honest, you really do look under the weather today," she noted, upon a closer inspection of her sister's features.
Now that Celestia had a clear view of her sister's face, she could see that it looked even more fatigue-ridden than her own. Her skin was positively pale, and the bags underneath her sunken eyes were obviously more than the work of simple insomnia. She touched a hoof to Luna's brow, but felt no excess heat. No fever, then.
"What is it this time Luna? A cold, perhaps? Or was it food poisoning again? You know, you really should at least look at what you shove in your mouth at dinner before you force it down your gullet," she chuckled.
"You're no better yourself, sister, with all your cakes and pastries," Luna replied, returning the lighthearted tease with a smirk of her own. "And besides, It is not… that kind of illness." Her tone took a melancholy dive. "I called you here because I wish to speak to you tonight, sister, if… if you can spare the time."
Noting the urgency in her voice, Celestia walked closer to her sister. "What's wrong? Come on, you can tell me anything. I'm here for you, Luna," she consoled, placing a gentle hoof on Luna's own.
Luna breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing her tense body at Celestia's comforting touch. "Thank you, sister," she breathed softly.
Celestia nodded, remaining patient as her sister took a moment to prepare herself. The deep breathing exercises helped calm Luna down, and she began to speak.
"For a long while now, I have felt weak and weary. My strength is not what it used to be, and I fear it may never return. At first, I believed myself to have been traumatized by the whole ordeal, and I was simply been sapped of strength as a result. Yet, even as Nightmare Moon, I was severely weakened. If you recall, the first time the Elements of Harmony were used on me, it took quite some time for me to be subdued, and I put up more resistance. When Twilight Sparkle and her friends used them on me, however, everything was over before I knew it. Even as Nightmare Moon, my strength and my magic was weakened. Why was that?"
"Hmm… Are you sure that Nightmare Moon was defeated so easily because she was weakened? When I used my own elements against you, I was alone in wielding them. Perhaps the bond of Twilight's friendship with the other ponies was more magical than even we anticipated?" Celestia offered.
"That is quite possible," Luna nodded. "Twilight Sparkle has much undiscovered potential, and what we are able to see in her now may very well be only the tip of the iceberg. I used to believe that it was the only reason for Nightmare Moon's swift defeat, that my own judgement was too clouded by my fear… until I looked at the night sky later that night."
Luna's eyes grew distant, wistful, and almost desperate with sorrow. "The stars have faded. The moon has grown distant from me. Sister, what has happened during the thousand years of my absence? What has happened to my night? The constellations, my creations… the stars are dying. The Ursai are dwindling in number, and the Canis are all but extinct. The sky has been clouded by the pollution in the air. I know it hardly affects your sun's strong radiance, but for a delicate thing such as the serenity of the night, it is enough to taint and blot it out completely."
Celestia remained silently mulling as her sister continued.
"…And yet, nopony has noticed. To the ponies of today, the Ursas and Canis are nothing but dangerous creatures, and the night remains nothing more than a time for slumber, ceasing all life until the next sunrise. Even after a thousand years, nopony loves the night. That is a fact that has remained constant through the pages of history. And yet, I have no one to blame but myself," she mused sullenly.
Celestia pursed her lips in feigned ignorance, but in the silence that hung, she knew her sister's words to be true. Nightmare Moon had been a mistake, sure, but that didn't change the fact that the public feared her. To them, who hadn't known the vibrant, vivacious soul that was Luna, the princess of the night was first made known to them personally when she had tried to bring about eternal darkness, and almost succeeded in her global coup d'état of the sun. Not even she, the ruler of the entire country, had the ability to change the thoughts of individuals without unconventional means of censorship and propaganda, which went against everything she stood for.
"Do you remember, Celestia, back when I was still innocent, still free of the bitter resentment I started harboring towards you over a millennia into the past?" Luna asked.
Celestia gave a warm smile. "It's a long time ago, but yes, I do remember. Those were the good old days, weren't they? We were inseparable; two young, royal sisters governing the land of Equestria together. We had not a care in the world, happy through the cheerful brightness of day and through the peaceful darkness of night."
Luna closed her eyes as she reminisced of her past. "That's right. Back then, when we still held our olden titles. Do you remember, Celestia? The ponies called you the Solar Alicorn, and I was known as… the Night Mare."
Celestia gulped, the smile vanishing from her lips. "I remember."
The dark blue alicorn smiled sadly. "Words have changed over time. New words have been created, old words have been left forgotten and obsolete, and others have changed their meaning altogether. A thousand years ago, a nightmare was a word to be proud of, a tranquil, loving feeling associated with the night. Today, however, it's become nothing more than a hated symbol. A phrase used to express fear, disdain, and rejection. All it is now is a bad dream."
Celestia couldn't bear to look her sister in the eye. "I'm sorry, Luna. I truly am. I tried everything I could to preserve the sanctity of the title, but not even I could have won against the nation's entire collective mind. After you turned to evil, ponies viewed you in a different way. And as for me, I was in no place to order things to stop… I was also hurt deeply by your betrayal, both physically and emotionally. I'm sorry, Luna. I was weak."
Luna shook her head. "I do not blame you, my sister, not in the slightest. You are not a weak mare. In fact, you are the strongest I have ever known. You were able to lead an entire country by yourself for the past thousand years. To overcome all of the struggles and hardships that life had to offer. Instead, it is the world that has changed. It is impossible to deny. A thousand years is a long time to even alicorns such as ourselves. But to the rest of the world, a thousand years may as well have been an eternity. I cannot say that I disapprove of this, for only a fool fears change. But I feel that there is no longer a place in the world for the Night Mare."
"Don't say that, Luna. Ponies still care about you," Celestia offered.
"That may be true, but they no longer need me. Equestria has prospered for a thousand years without the Night Mare, and it shall live on for at least a thousand more, with or without me. Who will mourn if I die, sister? Of course, the general public would weep for the loss of their princess, but who will weep for me ? The true me, beyond this paper mask I wear as a political figurehead and an alicorn goddess? I cannot think of even a handful of ponies that have ever known me as I have known myself. Such individuals have existed in the past, with whom I entrusted my greatest secrets, but they are no more, lost in the pages of history and the embrace of time's decay."
Celestia denied her sister's words, almost scolding her for saying such things. "Don't be ridiculous, you still have friends. What about Twilight Sparkle, or the ponies you've met in Ponyville? There was that one pegasus filly that you helped out, too, wasn't there? I believe Scootaloo was her name. What of Scootaloo, Luna? Was she not a friend?" she asked.
"Twilight Sparkle and her friends were lovely, accepting individuals, and Scootaloo holds all the childlike innocence of a saint. They indeed, were wonderful to meet," Luna agreed with a smile. "However, that is all that our relationships consisted of — kindness and formalities. Shallow bonds that cannot last."
"Luna, please stop saying such dreadful things, you're making me upset," Celestia asked of her in a concerned tone. "I love you, Luna. You are my dear sister, and I thought I'd lost you once before. For a thousand years, I wished for nothing more than to see you again, to feel the warmth of your embrace, to gaze upon the joyfulness of your smile. When you were freed from Nightmare Moon by the Elements of Harmony, words could not express the extent of my happiness and relief. You had finally come back to me, after all that time. I cannot bear to lose you a second time."
Luna shook her head in denial. "Let's face it, sister. The Luna that you knew a thousand years ago, the bright, cheerful, young soul, is already dead. She has been dead ever since she gave herself to Nightmare Moon, and her soul snapped in half. It seems that the world was not the only thing that has changed over the course of time. The Luna you once knew is only a memory, Celestia. And your love for her, is but an illusion, a lingering affection of the past that rose back up with unresolved feelings stirring once more."
Luna continued with an expression of confusion and anguish, not giving room for her sister to talk. "It's all just too much, Celestia. It's all just too different. I awoke after a millennia of bitterness, to try and begin life anew, but I cannot. I am not strong, like you are. This world, these ponies, this way of life… they are all so alien to me, sister. I cannot make heads or tails of anything, and it is impossible for me to survive in this new world."
"But, but if it's so different that you cannot stand it, then change it back, Luna!" Celestia cried out, unable to go on listening to her sister act like this. "Make the stars shine again, Draw the moon closer to the skies! I'll help you clean up the night and fill if with your works of art. Please, Luna, you have to at least try," she pleaded.
Luna paused, turning her gaze slowly to her sister. With solemn, blue eyes, she looked at Celestia almost serenely. When she spoke again, her words came out in a soft whisper. "…But I have."
Celestia didn't understand, as she sat still and open-mouthed, as an incomprehensive furrow lined her brows. "I'm… I'm sorry?"
Luna kept patient with her sister, explaining herself calmly to her confused sibling. "One night, about a week after Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony freed me from Nightmare Moon, I had finished recuperating from the ordeal. Now in a clear state of mind, I looked to the night sky in a way I had not done for a thousand years. I found that it had faded, dulled, and had lost the beauty it once had. Seeing the shadow of what it used to be, it felt so… wrong, so barren. It felt like I was looking through a twisted mirror, to what had become of me as well. I wished to set things right once more."
"No…" Celestia muttered in disbelief, the realization of Luna's words finally dawning upon her.
"I began my work at once. Working tirelessly for dozens of nights, I polished the stars from the lackluster that clouded their light. I smoothed out the surface of the moon from the bumps and craters it had worn with age. I blew the soothing life back into the gentle evening breeze, and quiet serenity was restored to the flowing sounds of the night. And yet… not a soul would notice. Nopony has noticed the work that I have done. Not the ponies I have met in Ponyville, not my guards who are only part of my night in name alone, and… and not even my own sister has seen my constant efforts to this day," Luna sighed.
A finally disillusioned Celestia was now at a loss for words, devastated at just how ignorant she'd been to her own sister. The same sister, for whom she'd wanted to see again for a thousand years. How could she have been so blind? "I, I'm so sorry Luna. I truly am. I've just gotten so caught up in all my work, that I've become ignorant and selfish, and I haven't been paying attention to you at all recently. Please, will you ever forgive me?" Celestia pleaded.
However, Luna only smiled. "There is nothing to forgive, sister dearest. I am not angry with you, nor am I even disappointed. You bear a great responsibility towards all the citizens of Equestria, and you cannot possibly care personally for each and every one of them, as much as you may try. I have no right to bear resentment towards you anymore, not after what has happened the last time."
Luna turned to the side of her bed, looking towards the peaceful sky through her window. Pointing at a constellation of two bright, shining stars, she asked the princess of the sun another question. "Celestia, do you know the name of that constellation, right there, to the north?"
Celestia squinted to see where Luna's hoof pointed. "…Yes, I do. I believe the pair of stars you refer to are called 'The Royal Sisters'?"
"Indeed," Luna nodded. "Look how close they are to each other. They are one of the only constellations in the sky that move apart from the rest of the sky. See how they orbit each other, each complimenting the other's movements in a closely-knit, never-ending stellar waltz."
"They're beautiful," Celestia concluded. "You must have worked so hard to create such majestic sights."
"Yes, making them was a difficult process," said Luna, with a nostalgic smile. "And marvelously fun, too. They are quite certainly my favourite creations, and I feel pride towards them the same way a mother feels pride about her sons and daughters. But what almost nopony but myself knows about the Royal Sisters, is that they aren't what they appear to be."
Celestia raised a curious brow, while Luna continued. "During my first attempt to create them, I failed miserably. Unbeknownst to me until that point, two stars could never orbit each other. They were too powerful and stubborn to let the other be, drawing closer and closer to each other. Tempers flared, arguments erupted, and eventually, the stars destroyed themselves, crashing into each other and collapsing in on themselves with one last spark. The pair of stars you see now are separated by vast expanses of space, one in front of the other. Each dancing their own, coordinated solo acts, appearing to us here as if they were parts of a duet."
Luna turned back to her sister with a smile on her face, but tears in her eyes. "Perhaps… perhaps we too, are like the Royal Sisters in the sky. On the surface, we appear so closely bonded, and it seems that we would never be the same without each other. Yet, in reality, things are so much more complicated and different than they look."
"But…why now, Luna?" Celestia asked. "Why not tomorrow, or yesterday, or any other time than an hour such as this? What made you feel so melancholy today, Luna? Has… has something happened?"
"I'm sorry, Celestia, but I cannot be nearly as strong as you. This is the truth. I am weak, and I cannot live in a world like this, alone and sulking in my memoirs of the past. I hope that one day, you'll be able to forgive me for leaving this world before you, even though I was the younger of us two siblings."
"Luna, you're an alicorn. Alicorns don't die. What are you saying?" Celestia said with a mirthless laugh. "Stop this nonsensical thinking."
"The night, the very thing from which I draw power, has been worn down by the sands of time and the winds of change. My health has nothing to do with it; my time in this world has just… come to an end," Luna stated simply.
"Luna, stop. You're not dying. You're just sick, that's all. It's all in your mind. You're going to be fine. You'll wake up tomorrow morning, and come have breakfast with me after I raise the sun, just like you always do. I'll make you anything you want tomorrow, Luna. Anything! So please, stop this nonsense at once!" Celestia cried desperately, trying to convince herself more than Luna.
"You, cooking? Hmm, that certainly brings back memories… I have not tasted your hoofmade meals in over a thousand years…" Luna trailed off. "You will be fine, even without me, Celestia. You still have Twilight Sparkle, you still have ponies who love you and care for you. So, I can leave this world in peace, knowing that you are not alone like I once was," Luna assured, but it served a futile attempt to appease Celestia.
Celestia refused to accept her sister's words, laughing quietly in disbelief. "I get it now… This is a prank, isn't it? You're trying to get me back for all those times I teased you in the past. All right, Luna, you got me. You can stop now, Luna. I'm scared… Luna. Luna!" she broke down, the last defense of her denial shattering to pieces.
"I am perfectly serious about this. Almost everyone I've ever known has passed on, laid to rest and sung to sleep by Father Time. I can finally hear his whispers now; he tells me that I can finally follow in their footsteps, as well." Luna stayed calm and composed, with the slightest hint of resolute defiance in her words.
Celestia, on the other hand, started to weep. Slowly at first, the small droplets quickly turned into a trickle, then a steady stream of tears. Her breathing grew ragged, lungs unable to function properly under the torrent of emotions.
Luna drew her legs around her sister in an embrace, wiping the wetness off her cheeks. "Shh…" she consoled, gently stroking Celestia's face with her hooves. "As short as my time back here with you was, and as lonely as I was, I still had fun. Nightmare Night, dreamwalking with the children of the new age, raising the moon again, it was all so lovely. I have no qualms or regrets left that I haven't taken care of. I lived my life to the fullest."
"Luna please… don't go. Don't leave me," Celestia sobbed.
Luna's body started to glow, her entire body being covered with thousands of tiny, twinkling stars. "Please do not mourn for me, sister dearest. I would not wish for the last thing I accomplish to be making the mare closest to my heart feel sorrow. We need to stop holding onto things that are no longer. Learn to let go of the past. Only a fool fears change, sister. It's time to move on."
No words came to Celestia's lips as she lay in her sister's warm embrace, weeping a thin trickle of tears onto her soft feathers. "And remember, Celestia, I have always loved you. I have never stopped loving you, even as I became a jealous monster. I still loved you then, and I always will, even in death."
Luna's breaths quietly dimmed, to the point where Celestia was only barely able to hear her final whispers in her ear. "Goodbye, Tia. Goodbye, sister dearest."
Starting from the tip of her hooves, Luna's entire body started to dissolve. Melting away into the soft winds of night, her legs and torso fell apart into tiny stars, much like what her mane had contained. "Luna? Luna! Wait, please, don't go!" Celestia cried, clutching on for dear life to what remained of her sister.
However, nothing she did was of any use, as the rest of Luna's torso, wings, and head eventually disappeared like her legs had. The embrace of Celestia's legs and hooves fell through empty air, as she plummeted through the sparks and onto the bed beneath. The constellation of her sister's frame died out simultaneously, fading quickly before winking out completely.
"Luna…Luna…" Celestia sobbed hysterically, weakly clawing at the air where her sister had just been. She hadn't cried like this in a thousand years. The once regal, majestic princess broke down completely, reduced to a sobbing wreck as her puffy eyes streamed endless tears. "Luna, please, come back…" she panted once more.
The night sky darkened and shuddered, as if it were alive and in pain. As if it could feel the loss of its creator and caretaker. The moon crumbled away piece by piece and fell to nothing, growing smaller and smaller until nothing but a thin, crescent sliver remained hanging in the air. The stars dulled, and some of them even died out completely. Many were not able to stay afloat, as millions of tiny sparks cascaded down together. The shooting stars came together in a beautiful display of tears for their maker's end that would go down in astronomy's history forever.
She saw and heard the sky as it fell apart. Deep down, she knew exactly what was happening. And yet, she still refused to accept it. Wet cheeks flaring, she shouted at the air in front of her. "Damn it, Luna, you can't do this to me! You can't leave me all alone, by myself! We're sisters, aren't we? Didn't you say you loved me, Luna? I love you too! I love you with all my heart! So you can't just go off on your own and leave like that, do you hear me?! Luna! …Please, come back to me! I'll never forget about you ever again. I'll stay by your side every waking moment for the rest of my life. So please, Luna, come back, come back… Luna…" Celestia slumped down onto the bed and cradled her head between her hooves, letting the covers soak up her tears.
When Celestia finally lifted her head and looked outside, the sky had darkened. The regal moon and shining stars were no longer the same, and only a handful of dull, scattered sparks scarcely lit up the night. But there was one constellation that remained unchanged. Two small, tiny stars to the north, shining brightly as they slowly circled each other in a beautiful embrace.
Transfixed by the sight in the sky, for what seemed like hours, Celestia could not pry her eyes off the Royal Sisters.
Then, they too, began to falter. The Royal sisters lost their shine, fading to dullness before her very eyes.
Celestia finally broke out of her trance, snapped sober by what she was seeing. "NO!" she cried out.
The princess' horn shone bright, as she poured her magic into the stars. She would not let Luna's most prized creations die out like this. Through sheer force and willpower, Celestia surged a torrent of magic into the night sky.
Even when Luna had created the stars from scratch, she did it one by one, suspending them in midair with the utmost finesse. Right now, however, Celestia was trying to keep them all alive, all by herself. Even with most of them already faded out, there were still dozens left. The amount of magic being used was taking its toll on the princess, straining both her body and her mind.
After only a few more moments, she was no longer able to hold the spell. The magic of her horn fluctuated without warning, and Celestia was unable to control it in her condition. The arcane snapback surged one last burst of magic, which exploded sharply at the tip of her horn.
"Ahh! " Celestia cried out, being pushed back and tipping over from the blow to her head. She fell on her back on top of the mattress, dazed for a few seconds before opening her eyes. From her position she could see the royal sisters. They were still going strong; two beacons of light in the endless darkness of the night. She'd managed to save them, if only for a little longer. Exhausted from the magic overload and the trauma of recent events, Celestia fell unconscious on the spot, unable to even make another thought.
"Princess Luna?" captain Artemis called out. "Have you seen Princess Celestia around? It's almost time for sunrise, and nopony can seem to find her anywhere!"
Seeing her mistress' door creaked open, Artemis decided to investigate. Pushing the door in softly, she called out once more, cautiously. "Princess Luna?"
Entering the elegantly furnished room, the captain caught sight of the princess standing at the window, but not the one she'd expected. "Oh, there you are, Princess… Celestia?" She raised a curious brow.
The white alicorn princess, usually regal and composed, looked tired this morning. More tired than from simple fatigue or stress, even if Artemis could only see her from the back. Nonetheless, she performed her duties to precision. As the clock ticked on and marked the beginning of sunrise, her horn glowed and raised the flaming orb above the horizon. Celestia remained still, staring out into the sky without a single word.
"Is… everything okay, princess Celestia?" Artemis asked.
There was no reply.
Then, it hit her. She had come into this room expecting someone else. "Your majesty, where is Princess Luna?"
At the simple question, Celestia turned her head, and Artemis finally saw her eyes. Her eyes were the most dulled, tired eyes she'd ever seen, completely different from how the princess of the day usually looked. Today, her eyes were filled with pain and misery. Tired and lonely, worn down from thousands of years of life. When her mouth finally opened, Artemis could never have expected what she would say, even though the signs were clear, written across the princess' face.
"Luna is no more," said Princess Celestia. "The princess of the night is dead."
End of Chapter 1
Author's Note
Special thanks to arandompenguin , InquisitorM , Chimpso , and Blagdaross for their feedback on the first chapter.
Chapter 2: Those Left Behind
"She's dead? " Discord blurted out, unable to contain his look of utter disbelief and fallen chin. "What do you mean, she's dead?! "
"It means exactly what it means," Celestia replied matter-of-factly. She was sitting at an ornate wooden desk with the sun shining on her back, reading and signing a large stack of papers. Her eyes never left the documents, as she asked in an emotionless voice, "Now, tell me. How did the negotiations with the Fey delegates to the East go?"
"The- The Fey? The Fey ??" Discord stammered in stupor. "Hang the Fey! Nuts to them! What about Luna? " the enraged draconequus exploded. His eyes were wide with a mix of shock and rage, swirling venomously in his entire expression.
However, Celestia refused to back down as well. Standing up from her chair, she turned to face the draconequus at full stature. Even Celestia's massive form didn't come close to Discord's full size, but she still managed to hold an aura of intimidation, with her tone as cold as her eyes. "Discord, I sent you to the summit because I thought someone like you could understand the ways of the Fey and establish a good relationship between our countries. If you wish to withdraw from the position of Equestrian emissary, I will be more than happy to strip you of your title. But first, report to me. How. Did the negotiations. Go."
Discord snarled his fangs. "Celestia, this is hardly as important as—"
"—I have a country to run, and a nation to protect. Discord, the Fey, " Celestia demanded icily.
Discord's rage turned to incredulity as he stood still and speechless, looking for a sign in Celestia's eyes that told him she was being serious.
"Discord—" Celestia began after a moment of silent stalemate.
"—The negotiations went swimmingly, Celestia, " Discord spat, neither able or willing to contain the contempt dripping from his words. "Now, what about Luna?" he asked slowly.
"She's dead," Celestia said curtly.
Discord grit his teeth in vexed hatred of the reply. "Yes, Celestia. I know that, but—"
"—But what?" Celestia interrupted sharply. "There's no but about it. She's dead, Discord. Luna's dead. So what do you want me to do about it, hmm? Bring her back to life? Not even you or I can do something like that. She's gone, and that's that. End of story."
Discord turned absolutely livid at Celestia's words. The veins in his forehead throbbed as his features twisted into a dark, enraged scowl. His outstretched arm twitched, eagle's talons curled open. For a moment, it looked as if he were to snap both figuratively and literally, invoking his magic of chaos to blow the place to smithereens. However, the rage faded as fast as it had come, and Discord lowered his arm.
Yet when he spoke, his eyes and tongue were still filled with contempt. "You know, I'm actually glad that that's how you think, Celestia," he sneered. "I could never stand a hypocrite. You never cared about Luna when she was alive. It would be an insult to her to pretend to care about her after her death."
Celestia offered no response as Discord stormed out of her study, exiting the castle's main gates and slithering off into the sky. Instead, she simply waved her horn to shut the door, sat back down, picked up a quill, and returned to the mountain of paperwork still remaining on her desk.
The funeral had been short lived; Even for a normal funeral, much less one for a diarch of Equestria. With only Princess Celestia and Captain Artemis of the night guard giving a short eulogy about the night princess’ life, the reception ended up being longer than the actual funeral service itself. Those that had shown up out of obligation far outnumbered guests who genuinely knew the princess, as the familiar faces of Twilight’s friends, a handful of the night guard, and Princess Celestia herself were drowned out by a sea of Canterlot nobles, unable to hide the indifference from their faces.
Of course, the nation mourned for the loss of their second princess, gone too soon after her return. The front page of every newspaper in Equestria was covered by the same headlines and the same pictures for a good few days while the public went into mass hysteria at Luna’s death, until they realized, that it didn't really affect them. To them, Princess Luna could hardly be considered close to their hearts. Sure, they'd seen her face in the papers or at Canterlot once or twice, but to most ponies, they hadn't even known that such a mare had existed before the Elements of Harmony had cleansed her of Nightmare Moon, who was also widely known only as an old pony's tale. The sad truth was, nopony was actually interested in Luna. She'd come out of nowhere, from what had once been considered a bedtime story for children, and she'd disappeared too fast to leave an impression on ponies.
Even she never got a chance to know the mare properly, Twilight thought, as she decided to take a walk around the gardens to calm her mind. Her friends had already visited and left, after paying their respects and saying a few comforting phrases to Twilight and Princess Celestia. A crown of daisies lined the brow of the marble statue erected in Luna's image, as it gently smiled at anyone who passed by. A toy spider, a blue feather, a jewel-encrusted ribbon, and a brown cowboy hat lay at its feet. During the funeral, Twilight had wished that sompony, anypony could have stepped up after Celestia and said a few words about Luna. She was about to go up and say the words herself, when she realized that there was nothing to say. Twilight had seen Luna what, maybe three, four times? And the only time she ever held a proper conversation with her had been on Nightmare Night, out of pity and sympathy when others had refused to even try to talk to her. There was nothing more to be said, she realized. The only pony who had truly spent time and gotten to know her was Princess Celestia.
Then, something beside Luna's snowy statue caught her eye. When she reexamined it, she could see a glass filled with a milky, brown liquid sitting beside her friend's trinkets. Twilight heard a soft sigh, coming from a little ways off from where she was standing. Taken off guard by the fact that she was not alone in the gardens, Twilight blinked twice.
"Who's there?" she called out. The gardens were supposed to be private property. Even if they weren't, she would have assumed that most ponies would have returned to their homes after the funeral.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't princess Twilight. How nice to see you again," a tired but familiar voice replied back.
"Is that… Discord?" Twilight asked doubtfully. The spirit of chaos had no reason to be here that she knew of.
Yet nonetheless, as the incredulous mare turned the corner, there he was. The draconequus was lying down on his back on his old pedestal, where he had been imprisoned in stone after being defeated by the Elements of Harmony.
"What are you doing here?" Twilight asked, walking closer.
"…Who knows?" was all Discord said. He sounded almost bored, looking up at the sky, but his eyes said otherwise. The normally playful trickster's eyes had a downcast sheen to them, glazed over and made dull.
"…You're not here to try doing anything funny, are you?" Twilight asked skeptically.
"Humph," Discord harrumphed, with a smile that never reached his eyes. "I may be immature and tactless, Twilight, but even I can't be that immature and tactless… well, yes I can, actually, but that's besides the point. Today, I've decided not to be."
Twilight didn't understand, but she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Besides, nobody ever understood Discord. "I…see."
"…So when did you find out?" Discord asked after a moment of silence. Even without looking at his face, Twilight could tell he was feeling less than great today.
She took a moment to think about her answer. "About a week ago. I helped plan for the funeral."
"…I see," Discord replied, still staring at the clouds pass by overhead. "So I was the only one left in the dark about it."
"You mean you didn't know?" said Twilight, surprised by this new development.
"That's right," Discord breathed. "I had no idea. Instead, I was off in foreign lands, discussing international trade and peace with a bunch of old diplomats."
"Oh, right, you went away for a few weeks," Twilight said. "I heard about it from Fluttershy. The land of the Fey, was it?"
"Mmmhmm," Discord nodded. "The Fey. Tiny little things, but the little tricksters certainly know how to have fun," he added, with a small but genuine smile this time. That too, however, soon faded. "…I just can't believe she's actually gone," he whispered softly.
"Yeah, I agree," Twilight said, taking a seat next to Discord on his pedestal. He may have noticed, but he didn't seem to care much. There was more than enough room for both of them on the marble foundation.
Instead, Discord took it as an invitation to talk. Twilight didn't really mind, either. "When I first properly met Luna, after Fluttershy and you lot managed to convince me that I didn't have to wreak havoc through Equestria, things were… strange in my life, I must admit. It turns out that Luna was actually the one who'd suggested that I be freed and to have the element users talk me into working for Equestria. To Celestia, I was just a monster. With good reason, too. I'd turned the entire country upside down, quite literally, within hours of my freedom, and ruled with a chaotic iron fist before they first overthrew me. But Luna saw something different in me."
"What did she see?" Twilight asked.
"She saw someone who was misunderstood. She saw someone who was different from everypony else, and was shunned by them because of it. She saw someone who just couldn't take it anymore, and finally snapped, filled with confusion, anger, and a desire for revenge. She saw… herself," Discord finished, after a pause.
"Nightmare Moon…" Twilight whispered.
"Indeed," Discord concurred. "Luna knew what it was like to be an outcast. What it meant to mean so little to so many, and mean even less than nothing to others. She was Luna, both in body and in heart, but some spiteful ponies out there still saw her as nothing more than Nightmare Moon, the one who had tried to blot out the sky. She realized and empathized with my pent up feelings, and saw the bad path laid out before me if I continued to make myself a slave to them, as she had done in her own past. And so, she sought to fix it. She sent me off to you, Fluttershy, and the rest of your friends. She taught me the ways of the world, and how to get along with the ponies here without turning their minds to mush and controlling them as my puppets. Luna cleaned me up, set me right, and allowed me to live my life more happily than I ever had before, without the condemnation and with a sense of belonging. She gave me a home to live in, she gave me friends and taught me what it meant to interact with ponies. And at some point, I saw her as a… friend, as well."
The way Discord said it made Twilight wonder if 'friend' had been the word he'd really been looking for, but she decided to let it slide.
"Some friend I turned out to be, huh?" Discord gave a bitter smile. "I didn't even know she died until the day of her funeral."
"Discord…" Twilight's voice trailed off. "I'm… I'm so sorry." She never did know what to say at times like this.
"Don't feel too bad, Sparkle," Discord said, his bitterness vanishing. "Luna had a good run, if nothing more. She laughed, she cried. She loved, she hated. She worked, she played. She lived, and now… she died," Discord concluded simply. "Luna lived quite a full life, regardless of all those around her that feared and hated her. I'm slightly envious of her for that."
The draconequus' voice died out, and the air lingered with a thoughtful silence in the absence of Twilight's response. Twilight stayed still, her eyes fixated on Discord's expressionless visage, trying to make out if he was being sincere. Discord felt her gaze, but did nothing to stop her. In fact, he did nothing at all.
"…You've changed," Twilight said, after a long pause.
Discord sat up without warning, abruptly meeting her eyes for the first time during their conversation. "Do you think that's a good thing?"
"I don't know," replied Twilight.
"Then, do you think it's a bad thing?" Discord asked once more.
"…I don't know," was the only thing Twilight could say.
Discord took a breath, letting out a soft sigh. "Let me tell you something, Twilight. Whether it's for better or for worse, only a fool fears change. And only an even bigger fool tries to deny it."
"Only a fool fears change…?" Twilight repeated carefully.
"Exactly," Discord nodded. "Luna was the one who taught me that."
"Princess Luna said that?"
"She did indeed," Discord confirmed. "Luna was wise. Maybe not as intelligent or as skilled as her sister in governing the country, but she was very wise. Before her jealousy got the best of her and she turned into who you lot call Nightmare Moon, Celestia would come to Luna for advice on every major decision she made for Equestria, right here, in this very garden."
"She would?" Twilight asked. She couldn't imagine her old mentor coming to someone as carefree as Princess Luna for advice. Then, another thought crossed her mind. "Wait, how would you know about that?"
Discord rolled his eyes. "Please, Twilight. I was trapped in stone, not unconscious. When the elements hit you, you don't die or actually turn to stone. There would be no way to bring you back, then. You just sort of, have your body encased as your mind floats around in an endless, timeless, limbo state until you're let out again. But enough about me, let's get back to our main topic."
Twilight grimaced, thinking how horrible going through something like that must have been for both Discord and for Luna, who'd no doubt experienced something similar. "Okay…" she agreed meekly.
"You see, my point is, Celestia doesn't accept this yet." Discord said, looking straight at Twilight. "Have you spoken to her recently, or even just exchanged pleasantries?" he asked.
"I spoke to her yesterday," Twilight answered.
"Mmmhmm, and how was it? Wasn't there anything… off about her?" Discord inquired, raising a single eyebrow.
Twilight bit her lip. "I… hate to admit it, but she seemed… apathetic."
"Broken." Discord corrected.
"Excuse me?"
"She's not apathetic, she's broken. Hurt. Traumatized. Bitter. No one is truly apathetic, they're simply broken. Broken from pain, trauma, mental disorder, you name it. But you can't simply not care. Not only is it morally wrong, it's just not possible. it goes against every single thought in nature and everything that life in general stands for. You can never not care, because you're always doing something that you care about. You do chores because you care about cleanliness. You help friends because you care about relationships. You study because you care about knowledge and academics," the draconequus explained.
"But you can not care," Twilight interjected. "Ponies don't care about countless things. Foreign politics, agriculture history, third grade mathematics."
"Yes, you're right. You can be apathetic about and towards things. However, total apathy isn't real. It's a myth. An ideal. A theory. Because once you don't care about anything, you simply stop doing anything. Think about it. Everyone you know cared about something constantly throughout their lives, even in darker moments. Nightmare Moon cared about recognition and respect for her night. I cared about revenge and having fun when I was still wreaking chaos on this land. Celestia cared about her sister. And that's why we did what we did, and how we were able to keep doing it," Discord continued. "Do you see how this connects to our current situation?"
"To be honest, not really," Twilight said, a confused look on her face. "How does this even relate to what we were talking about before?"
Discord waved an impatient finger. "Pay attention, Twilight Sparkle. I expect more from somepony of your intellectual status. Celestia cared about Luna, immensely so. To an alicorn like Celestia, another of her kin is the only lifelong companion. Not even dragons live for over a thousand years. To her, Luna was a mare who understood her the most. She'd been with her since their childhoods. They'd played, talked, laughed, cried, and poured our their hearts to each other countless times. Can you imagine what it's like to lose someone like that, Twilight? Someone you hold closer than even family?"
"It must have been brutal for her…" Twilight winced, thinking of what her old mentor went through during her darkest hours.
"After she banished Luna to the moon, every night for ten years, Celestia would open her window, and stare out into the night sky. Her eyes would be filled with longing, sorrow, regret. I would assume that she felt guilty. Guilty that she wasn't able to stop her sister. Guilty about what she'd had to do to protect Equestria. Guilty that she was part of the cause of her sister's corruption. And out of that guilt, Celestia felt a sense of responsibility to Equestria, for her sister's sake. That's why she works so hard. That's why she does anything and everything for this country, willing to sacrifice anything," Discord explained. "But now…"
"Now Princess Luna is gone," Twilight finished.
"So why does Celestia work even harder than before?" Discord asked. "All she does now is stay cooped up in that tiny little study of hers, writing piles upon piles of paperwork on Equestria's laws and by-laws, and moving onto international affairs when she's done. At this rate, that mare's going to work herself to death and follow Luna's footsteps too soon," the draconequus grumbled. "Do you remember what I said about why anyone does anything? It's because they have something they care about."
"And you also said that Princess Celestia did her work because of a sense of obligation to her sister, right? But, if her sister's gone, and she works even harder than before…" Twilight pondered, then was struck with realization. "…then that means her motivation's not gone. It's gotten stronger."
Discord nodded. "Although Luna herself may have been removed from the equation, Celestia still feels responsible for her death. That's why she feels so compelled to work herself to the bone, to atone for her sins, in a sense."
Turning his back to the purple mare, the draconequus sighed. "Nothing lasts forever, Twilight. Even Celestia, Luna, and I are no exceptions. Recent events have made that an undeniable fact. We all come into this world, starting out with a whole slew of different circumstances. We live our lives, we leave our marks, and at last, we leave this world, so that others may enter, and new lives may begin," Discord said. "Everything has a beginning, and everything has an end."
"Are you saying that Princess Celestia hasn't accepted that?" Twilight asked.
"I'm telling you that she needs to be reminded of it," Discord replied. "Because no matter who we are, we all make our mistakes, we all trip and fall from time to time. It's a part of what makes up our personalities. Our experiences. Our individuality. Celestia's been acting as the perfect 'Princess' for so long, she's forgotten what that feels like."
"You seem to understand a lot about how the Princess thinks," noted Twilight.
"Oh, please." Discord gave a short, humored laugh. "Twilight, I used to take ponies and turn their entire personalities upside down with the touch of a chaotic finger. You can't rewire a clock without knowing how its gears tick."
"Impressive," Twilight admitted. "But what I still don't understand is, why tell me all this? You're always at odds with Princess Celestia. Why tell me all these things about her?"
"Oh, I don't know… perhaps I'm just bored, and I needed something to talk about. Perhaps I'm feeling a little down after Luna left without a word. Or perhaps…" Discord gave a mischievous grin. "Perhaps I'm interested in what you'll do with the information, Twilight Sparkle. Will you use it to comfort Celestia, or will you let her decay in her agony, and try to overtake the throne, once she is no longer fit to rule?"
"I — I would never do something like that!" Twilight exclaimed, taken aback at even the thought of such an act.
"Never, Twilight? Never is a dangerous word to use. Never is absolute. Do not deal with absolutes about anything until you've seen all there is to see about it, and you've heard all there is to hear about it," Discord advised.
"Still, I wouldn't do something like that… would I?" Twilight asked doubtfully, thinking back to the stories of Nightmare Moon and Discord.
Discord chuckled softly, the wicked glint in his eyes turning to playfulness. "Fret not, Sparkle, I'm only teasing," he said jokingly. "Maybe if you'd been tormented with grief and ostracized all your life, but I don't believe you're in a state to do so right now. You're the voice of reason. Celestia's lost someone who was close to her, closer than anyone else ever was. Right now, you're the next best thing. If any other pony goes and tells her these things, there isn't a chance in Tartarus that she'll be willing to accept her flaws. If I went and did it, it would be even worse. Rather than convince her, I think I'd lose my temper and blow up half the country and be sealed back in stone by the Elements before I could get my point across to her. You've been with Celestia for a while now, haven't you? Right now, I think you're the only pony she'd be willing to open up to. And don't tell her I said this, but she could really use the help."
"Why do you want me to help Princess Celestia so much? I thought you despised her," Twilight asked again.
"Oh, I do. I loathe the very nature of that mare, in all her seriousness and discipline. And she hates me back. We're complete polar opposites. North and South. Up and down. Ice and fire. Hero… and Monster." Discord sighed. "Or at least, it used to be that way, way back when we were still, quite literally, tearing at each other's throats, but I like to think that things between us aren't so bad anymore. Of course, things aren't that good between us, either. We never did get along," Discord mused. "The most we've had between us was a partnership and a mutual sense of respect, and I doubt that'll change anytime soon."
The draconequus turned once more, looking up at the sky again. The sun was beginning to set, and a red glow tinged the clouds overhead. From the other end of the horizon, the blanket of night had already started to sweep over. "But…" He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "It's what she would have wanted," he replied simply.
Twilight couldn't help but give a gentle smile. "You really have changed, Discord. You know that?"
"Do you think that's a good thing?" Discord asked one more time.
"I don't know," Twilight smirked. "Do you?"
Discord flashed a toothy grin of his own. "Twilight Sparkle, I think it's the best thing that ever happened to me."
End of Chapter 2
Chapter 3: Times Change
Routine. It was an ugly word. A word that symbolized and showcased its rigid structure, its demanding nature, and its deceptively hidden addictiveness, all in two, short syllables. Yet nonetheless, it was a word that Celestia had devoted the vast majority of her life to. Once in a while, a situation arose where the safety of the country would be at risk and she would have to step up to the occasion. But even that wasn't really necessary, it was all done and over with. Celestia no longer wielded the Elements of Harmony; new guardians had risen to stand against evil and disharmony in her stead. Gone were the glory days of fighting spirits of chaos, gone were the adventures of discovering harmony, and gone was the hard, manual labour of helping construct Canterlot Castle brick by brick. Perhaps those days, too, were routines of their own; different actions, simply set in different routines. Either way, she'd gotten used to the droll tasks that she set out to complete every day.
As the sky turned from a warm, autumn red to a pitch, dead black, Celestia's quill finally stopped its furious scribbling, plummeting down on the desk next to half a dozen empty inkwells and rolling to the side. A stack of cluttered papers covered the rest of the desk, as well as a three foot radius around its floor, as Celestia finally slumped down and lifted herself out of her chair for the first time that day.
She sluggishly walked over to her coffee table, where her maids had placed a tray of food for her to eat. The tray had been set some time ago, and the food had long since gone cold. Still, it would be a waste. She couldn't even remember if she’d eaten anything at all today. Lifting a spoon with her magic, Celestia took a sip of soup from the polished silverware. It had gone cold, and the once rich aroma of the broth had faded, but it was still quite delicious. Finishing up her dinner, Celestia threw open her windows, preparing to complete her recently discovered nightly ritual.
Celestia closed her eyes and channeled her power through her horn, producing a visible stream of magic that flowed out into the sky. The stream gradually grew wider, turning into a river of dimly glowing arcane. With each passing second, a deeper furrow lined Celestia's face, the fatigue of exhausting her supply of magic showing on her features.
There was a soft but firm knock at the door. Celestia stopped what she was doing to take notice, cutting off the flow of magic and closing the windows shut.
"Enter." It seemed that she was getting an increase in late night visitors, she thought to herself, as she called out.
A young, purple-coated mare entered the room, an undecipherable expression on her usually familiar face. "Good evening, Princess Celestia," she said, stepping in.
"I've told you, Twilight, you don't need to be so formal with me anymore," Celestia told her former student. "You're a princess now, as well."
"That may be true, but it just doesn't feel right," the smaller alicorn replied. "At least, not yet. After all, it's what I've been calling you all my life. I'm sure I'll ease up to it, though… eventually."
"Well, if you see it that way, I suppose I am in no place to say otherwise," Celestia shrugged. "So tell me, Twilight. What brings you here today?"
"I just… wanted to talk to you about something, Princess Celestia. Are you free right now?" the mare asked uncertainly.
"I will always have time for those who find it urgent enough to knock on my door at this time of evening, Twilight. Tell me, what can I help you with?" Celestia asked, her tone calm and controlled.
Twilight's nervousness only grew more intense than before, her eyes darting around and unable to meet Celestia's. "It's… um, it's about…" her voice trailed off, unable to finish her words.
"…Yes?" Celestia asked, unaware of what was to follow.
"It's about… It's about Princess Luna," Twilight managed to get out at last.
"Oh." The words had caught Celestia off guard, but she quickly regained her composure.
Twilight took a deep breath. This was where it all began. In this elaborate game of cat and mouse, she would have to chase the princess in circles, and the only way she could win was to pin down and make speechless a thousand year old politician. If she succeeded, everything would be okay. Princess Celestia would be hurt at first, but her wounds would heal over time. If she failed, on the other hand, it would be a disaster. She would have to watch as the princess fell more and more into despair, denying that she needed help. Worst case scenario, the bond between her and Twilight could be shattered, and Twilight would find herself being pushed away by the one mare whom she'd known and revered for the majority of her life. No pressure.
“I know it must have been hard for you, Princess Celestia… and I know it’s going to be even harder for you to talk about it, but I’m here to help.”
Celestia sighed. “Twilight, I’m flattered that you’re worried about me so much, but honestly, I’m fine,” she replied. "Indeed, I loved Luna very much, but I’ve had my time to mourn her, and I’ve come to terms with her passing,” she stated simply.
Twilight shook her head. “I don’t believe you.”
“And why would that be?” Celestia questioned.
“Because you’re not fine,” Twilight replied. “You haven’t come to terms with it. All you do now is stay locked up in your study, doing nothing but work, work, work. Laws, by-laws, economy, international relations… in fact, the only time I ever see or hear from you outside is at a diplomatic meeting, doing even more work. I’ve even heard from the castle’s chambermaids that you haven’t even been eating your meals properly. You’re as thin as a stick, princess. All because you use this work of yours to… to distract yourself with!”
There was a moment of silence between the two before Celestia opened her mouth in reply. “A leader of a nation has just passed away, Twilight. The twin crowns of Equestria have been reduced to one, and this time, for good. There are matters to attend to, and loose ends to wrap up. Ponies are asking questions. There are conspiracies rising about how someone managed to murder her. Equestria’s standing has lowered severely in the international field, and other nations are seeing us as potential targets because of these recent events. This isn’t the first time this has happened before, you know. The rise of Nightmare Moon caused the same problems a thousand years ago. My workload has simply increased due to these recent events, nothing more.”
Twilight remained unfazed. "We have government jobs for a reason. There are others to help you, Princess Celestia."
"And I don't doubt it," said the princess, equally undeterred. "But somepony has to oversee each and every one of those others, to make sure that they are doing their jobs properly. We cannot afford to make any mistakes, Twilight, now more than ever."
Twilight was left stunned at Celestia's reply. They were stuck at a stalemate, neither side in possession of any definitive evidence. Right now, all they could do was keep pushing the points they’d already made, Twilight’s word against the Princess’. There was no point to it, and it would eventually become a conversation without conclusion. And Princess Celestia seemed to realize it, too.
“I think that’s quite enough, now,” Princess Celestia said, turning away. “We both have the rest of our duties to attend to today, and I think we both understand that we shouldn’t dawdle with a discussion that isn’t going anywhere.”
No, No no no nonononono. This isn’t how it was supposed to happen, Twilight thought. She could almost see time itself slow down as Celestia walked away from her, drifting farther and farther apart.
Coming into this argument, Twilight had been determined to save Celestia from herself. Her determination never faltered, but she'd still gotten nowhere. All of her words and reasons had bounced away harmlessly against the Princess' ironclad defense. Twilight had seen her do this before, putting on a face of stone and refusing to let anything past it. There has to be a way , she thought to herself. I can't let it end like this.
Then, an idea blossomed in Twilight's mind. An idea that she quickly reprimanded herself for even having the gall to think about. It was a stupid idea, one that had less than an abysmal chance of working, and if things went south, the relationship between Twilight and her old mentor would be soured forever.
… It was the only thing she had left.
"…You know, I'm actually kind of glad that she's gone."
Celestia said nothing, but turned her head ever so slightly to reveal her cold, stone expression to Twilight once more.
"All she was was a waste of space and resources. I mean, What did Luna even do , anyways? Honestly, I never understood."
What was she thinking? She knew this was crazy.
"Ruler of the night? Princess of the moon? Those sound like nothing but superficial titles to me."
This was a straightforward, not even well planned out goad. It was nothing but simple provocation of poking at her mentor, in whatever way she could. It would never work.
"She paints the night sky with stars? Who ever cared about that? I mean, sure, ponies took a glance every once in awhile, but to be honest, nothing would really change if none of that was there. I know I wouldn't lose any sleep over it."
Princess Celestia was an ancient, experienced ruler of an entire country. She'd see through Twilight's shallow words in an instant.
"It's not like she ever did anything important in her life. I mean, she raised the moon for a while, but even without her, Equestria's been perfectly fine for a thousand years! And on the other hand, we had to give her a room in the castle, adorn it with everything that she ever wanted, and suck up to her whenever she came to visit anywhere. A little bit too much for somepony who didn't do anything to make herself important, don't you think?"
…and yet, it was starting to work.
"Twilight, this is both rude and disrespectful to an unthinkable degree. You will cease talk of this at once," Princess Celestia spoke coldly.
"Why should I?" Twilight pressed. "It's not like she's someone that deserves my respect. Even her own sister didn't care about her. Don't you think that says something about her?"
"I cared for Luna in all the ways that I could." Celestia's voice rose ever so slightly.
"Is that why you didn't even bat an eye after she died?" Twilight winced internally, knowing very well how much this was hurting her old mentor. However, she showed no sign of it to Celestia, determined to do the only thing she could to break down the walls she'd built up around hers.
"I've… I've had my period of mourning for her." Celestia's voice grew hesitant, yet flustered. Cracks were finally starting to form in her armor, and Twilight would pounce on them like a predator, chipping away at them until they broke.
"Oh, and what, it's over already?" Twilight scoffed. "I guess Luna really was pathetic, wasn't she? Nopony cared to pay any attention to her when she was alive, and even when she killed herself in a last act of desperation, the sympathy garnered from those closest to her didn't even last them one week. It's no wonder she was never loved by those around her. Luna died the way she lived her pathetic life, alone and unloved."
"That is quite enough! The fact that she's not here anymore does not give you the right to speak about her that way! Luna was a wonderful mare, who helped Equestria in every way that she could."
"She was nobody —"
"—She was my sister, Twilight! My sister whom I loved and cared for, and the one who meant more than the entire world to me! " Celestia finally exploded.
In the stunning silence that followed, Twilight's expression softened. "…See, you do still care."
Celestia's anger melted into anguished, desolate distress, tears forming in the pits of her eyes. "It was all my fault, Twilight. Luna broke once before because no one paid attention to her; because nobody cared about her. I… I knew that. I could — should. have saved her. If only I'd loved her more. If only I'd shown her that, she wouldn't… she wouldn't be…" her words trailed off into incoherent sobs.
"I killed her, Twilight. What do I do? What can I do? Tell me, Twilight, what am I supposed to do!? " Celestia shrieked, despondent tears flowing down her cheeks.
The question, as well as its desperate delivery, caught Twilight by surprise. She'd gotten Celestia to talk, but what now? What could she say to her in return? When Twilight failed to respond, Celestia slumped down, refusing to make eye contact and staring dejectedly at the ground.
After what seemed like forever, Twilight finally opened her lips to speak.
"You know, Princess Celestia, I don't think I've ever told you this, but when you first sent me to Ponyville, you know, back at the thousandth summer sun celebration, I hated it," Twilight began.
The words drew no response from Celestia, but she continued anyways. "It was awful. I was being sent from my life of comfort in royal, high-class society Canterlot, to this… dingy, rustic little no-name town that I'd never even heard of before. Instead of the extensive Canterlot Archives, I'd been moved next to a small, public town library with hardly any reading material. To be honest, I thought I was being punished, and throughout the whole flight, I was thinking of what I could've possibly done to deserve it," she chuckled. "…And then, it led to one of the best days of my life," she said, as a wide smile bloomed on her lips. "Through that experience, which seemed so horrible at the time, my life took a turn for the better, and I met my wonderful new friends, who all mean so much to me now."
"For a while, I was very happy, living with my friends, hanging out together, sharing laughs, tears, heartfelt moments… and that too, looked like it would last forever," the mare reminisced. "But just a month ago, everything changed again. I became a princess, and I moved back to Canterlot, leaving my friends behind. We were still close friends, but now I wouldn't get to see them as often as I wanted to. And because of that, I was able to help so many other ponies here in Canterlot, so much more than if I'd decided to stay in Ponyville for myself."
Celestia still showed no sign of movement, but there was now a thoughtful spark in her once dull eyes. Twilight decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, and continued.
"But what if I'd never decided to accept those changes?" she asked. "What if, instead of moving on with my life, I'd clung onto the past, what I knew was comfortable, and refused to change? I would have never met my friends, I would have never become a princess, and I would have been so much worse off than I am now."
"A wise pony once said, 'only a fool fears change, and only an even bigger fool tries to deny it'." Twilight felt a pulse of joy as Celestia's ears perked up from the familiar phrase. "My point is, nothing we do can change the past. Believe me, I've tried," she chuckled. "The only thing we can change… is the future. There are infinite possibilities of what the future could be. We can choose, quite literally, anything that's possible, and even some things that we don't think are possible, and what we choose determines the outcome of tomorrow. Don't you find that amazing? Think about it."
Twilight let out a deep sigh. "But, unfortunately for you, Princess Celestia, your options are a little more limited than others' are."
Celestia finally turned her head to Twilight in confusion, but was suddenly met with a big, warm hug.
"I love you, Princess Celestia. To me, you're a mentor, a friend, and a second mother. You've always been there for me. I've learned so much from you, and I've always felt so at ease when we were together," she said. Celestia could feel Twilight's hot tears falling onto her back. She was trembling, but she soon stopped when she returned the embrace. "I'm sure countless others feel similarly about you, princess. And… and as long as we're here, as long as you have a tomorrow, we're going to make damn sure that it's a happy one," Twilight concluded.
Twilight sniffled, speaking through teary eyes. "I'm not going to tell you that Luna's passing wasn't your fault. That's an issue that you can only sort out on your own. I'm not saying that it's bad to grieve, either. In fact, grieving is a normal and necessary way to deal with trauma. But you have to stop at one point, or else you'll never move on. You'll never change, and you'll never be happy. And I will not ever. Allow you to stay unhappy."
By now, Twilight was choking her words out between blubbers, and Celestia gently stroked her mane to calm her down. That's why it almost caught Celestia by surprise when her own eyes grew hot, and wetness splashed down on her cheeks as well. For the next few moments, the night was silent spare the sobbing of two grown mares comforting each other in stillness. They cried and they cried, until their tears ran dry.
Twilight and Celestia finally caught their breath, and slowly pulled away from the warmth of each other. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, Celestia opened her mouth to speak.
"Twilight?" She called softly.
Her former student lifted her head to face her. "Yes?" she whispered.
"…Thank you."
A lone mare sat in her sister's study, gazing out through open windows into the night. If she was going to end things once and for all, this would be where she'd do it.
Celestia raised her horn, feeling the steady flow of magic that she'd constantly kept flowing into the Twin Sisters above. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. And then, she cut off the stream of power, halting it abruptly and refusing to feed it further.
Now, without enough magic to sustain them, the pair of stars lost their bright glow that pierced through the night. One of them blinked out completely, the other dimming drastically. The remaining sister would pay no heed to her companion's death, however, continuing to dance its solo performance in the skies.
As if the death of the lone star was the signal she'd been waiting for, Celestia broke her gaze from it. She trotted to the edge of the room, opened the door, and stepped through. "Goodbye," she whispered, to no one in particular.
Before she shut the door and trotted to her chambers to fall asleep in her bed, Celestia would spare one last, wanting glance back at the empty bed in the empty room.
But not for long.
The End
