Dust
By: The Grey Pegasus
Ramblings of Two Pegasi
A restless pegasus lay in her bed within the confines of the four walls of her room. The Trottingham home was a humble abode, placed on the outskirts of the city. Set apart from the rushing activity of the city, yet contained within its personality. The pegasus mare glanced out the window.
'The night sky. Luna's canvas, proudly displayed for all ponies to adore, returns again for its daily, or rather, nightly viewing. A wonderful work of art that ponies do in fact shower praise upon.'
It had been a long year. As an artist, the mare was crippled by the breaks in her work processes. Inspiration and ideas were not a problem–those sprung forth like a rushing river from melting ice from the top of the highest mountains in the Canterlot Mountain Range. Rather, the issue presented itself as boulders in the way of the river that just wanted to flow freely.
'Am I finally free? My mind longs to be as free to create as I am free to soar through the skies.'
Analogous to how a river eventually cuts through a boulder, perhaps time had allowed her creativity to cut through the obstacles in its way. It felt like her mind was returning to normal. She was uncertain of it though, for she felt, no, knew, that her mind was not working to its fullest ability. Perhaps it had broken through the boulders, but it must now carve a path through a rocky mountainside. The river will find its way, but it is not a smooth way. No, it must wear down the rocks for that.
'There is only one way to find out. The same way it has always been.'
The mare rolled off the bed and onto her hooves. With her wing, she collected a couple of items from her nightstand. A pencil, a special metal claw, and at the center of her focus, a sketchbook.
'A year of restless nights and I've made little progress. It seems that the only place I can make progress is anywhere away from here.'
Away from there. Anywhere where she could work in solitude but there. She had a destination in mind, an escape that not all ponies could freely experience. The mare tucked away her few items in a saddlebag.
Once the pegasus secured the saddlebag to herself, she walked over to the window and opened it. The cool air of the night washed over face and through her pink and blue-streaked mane. The chill was slightly shocking, but she thought of herself as a tough pony, and could bear the cold after a short while.
With a flap of her wings, she launched out of her window and into the night sky. Just like that, she had reached her destination. Now to find a place to go to in her destination. Somewhere quiet and secluded, away from bustling cities. The mare chose a direction and let fate lead her, stopping only once her heart felt satisfied.
Soaring and sweeping she went through Luna's sea of stars, the world lit only by the light of her looming moon.
<<+>>
The mare continued to fly up into the atmosphere. The higher altitudes only added to the lower temperatures. And the night was always chilly, even if the season of summer had only come to a close and autumn was opening.
'Besides, I'm a pegasus. Born of the unforgiving cold of the clouds.'
Above her was a nice, small, lone cloud. At last, she felt that she had done enough flying for tonight. In her absent-mindedness, she noticed that she had somehow managed to travel close enough to see specks of lights in the distance on the side of a mountain, moonlight gleaming off of golden spires. Canterlot.
'How long did I fly? An hour or two? I suppose if I can't get lost on the ground since I can fly, I'll have to stick with the curse of becoming lost in thought.' She inwardly laughed.
Yes, the cloud looked like it would make a suitable perch. Crystal prepared to breach it, aiming to spear through the cloud and rest on top–
"Ow!"
The pegasus rubbed her head from an impact she was not expecting. She heard groans of irritation from the other side. She opted to just fly away before having to deal with a disgruntled pony. She would rather not cause an incident at this moment.
The white pegasus dashed away, but stopped a short distance from the cloud to quickly take a look at the scene. She was surprised–it was a familiar one. She took out her sketchbook from her saddlebag and flipped through it.
There it was. A year-old sketch. A pegasus, sitting still on a cloud, staring at the quiet night sky. She had just revisited an old sketch that happened to appear completed buried between many incomplete sketches.
"Hey!"
It was a stallion's voice.
"Hey you! Were you the one that just flew into me?"
Despite the male pegasus being a distance away, she hid a sheepish grin behind her notebook, as if the darkness of Luna's night was not enough to hide her embarrassment. 'Well, I've been seen. No flying away now. I should go and apologize to him face-to-face. It would be the polite thing to do after disturbing his reverie.'
And so she did. The female pegasus flew over, landing on the cloud on her four hooves. Up close, she could discern that the pegasus had a light grey coat and a short, dark, sleeked back mane. She felt like as if she were shown a vision of the future and told to draw it, because this pony was exactly like the one on the open page beneath her wing.
"Apologies. I didn't expect anypony to be up here. Besides, if there were, what were the chances of actually picking a cloud with another pegasus already there?"
The stallion shrugged. "Very little probability, but it's one of those cases where fate would prefer a contrived coincidence," he waved it off. "So what brings you here? Obviously, if you weren't expecting to find any other pegasi, you're not looking for a roll in the clouds," he chuckled.
The mare lightly laughed in return. "No, I wasn't. That would be more like... my sister," she sighed. She decided to quickly pushed that irrelevant thought away. "Judging by how I discovered you, you weren't either."
In the moonlight, she was able to see a smirk form on his face. "The situation at hoof lends itself to a very inviting opportunity, you know." She was going to reply but was cut off. "But I'd decline it anyways. Everything would be perfect if it weren't for my mood."
The mare felt herself ease, removing her saddlebag and laid down on the cloud to the left of the other pegasus. "Your mood?"
"Stressed. I've got a lot on my mind. Almost overwhelming. Just wanted to be alone to think over all of it. I need to think over all of it. I think I got the point across." He returned his look towards her. "So what brings you here? I interrupted that by accident."
The mare mulled over her answer. "The need for freedom. Nothing says freedom like the open realm of the sky." She looked around wonderingly.
"Ah. I see. And you're an artist." She followed his gaze over to her left side.
The artist brought the sketchbook within the reach of her left forehoof with her wing. "A sharp observation," she smiled, laying the book flat on the cloud.
"My eyesight is good, but the sketchbook wasn't close enough to admire. I had to settle for something easier to see but of equal quality at that moment," he said with a teasing but friendly expression. The female pegasus felt herself blush. However, his eyes shifted their attention to the book with a gaze locked in interest. "Is that... me? Wow, how fast do you draw?"
"Oh, no, no," she responded. "By some contrived coincidence, I actually had the idea to draw this a year ago. A week to the date, maybe. I think I'm more surprised than you are."
"Crystal Chroma. That's a very nice name." Crystal nearly jumped up in surprise at the sound of her name.
'But–how?!–'
"And a very elegant signature at that, too. Legible, yet artful."
'Well, that's definitely a very impressive observation.'
"Why thank you," Crystal smiled at the compliments. "Unfortunately, there's no way for me to learn yours without asking."
"Name's Stardust, Miss Chroma," Stardust readily answered. "Pleased to make your acquaintance."
"Likewise. And while I admire your adherence to standard etiquette, please just call me Crystal from here. Despite my accent, I prefer to keep formalities to a minimum when I can."
Stardust nodded in acknowledgement. "Where you from, Crystal? Upper Canterlot?"
"Trottingham."
"Wow," Stardust quietly exclaimed. "That's a bit far for some freedom, don't you think?"
"Some would argue yes, but many others could only wish it were this easy," Crystal stated, slowly flaring her wings to get her implication across.
"Hm," he hummed in agreement. "The benefits of wings indeed. I sympathize with the wing-less; it's... very different." The grey pony lifted his own wing, looking back to examine and admire it.
"Oh? Did you break your wing one time?" she asked.
"Huh?" Stardust arched his eyebrows. "Oh... yeah. I did. I did. Being stuck on the ground... it was something." He changed the subject. "So how far were you planning to fly?"
"I don't know. I just let fate take me. Got lost in my thoughts. Ended up all the way here." She brought her eyes down to the sketchbook.
'Pages of ideas, sketched out. And, unless I got myself out of this ditch of inability to work on them, left for no one to see.'
"Well, not all who wander are lost. Maybe you're looking for something." He reached over and grabbed the book, viewing it with interest. "Something intangible, yet you lost."
"How poetic of you," Crystal sighed. "But I can't say you're wrong."
"I tend to say weird things, and say things weird. Hey–this is a neat picture."
'Okay, well at least now someone's seen the sketches. Maybe not all is lost.'
Crystal repositioned herself to sit beside him. "This picture. This one, I actually felt very strong about doing, and I have a full-sized painting in the works at home, but always seem to get stuck on details."
"Why a fleet of airships?" Stardust asked, regarding the drawing. It depicted a vast formation of imposing airships, soaring through the clouds as if intent on bringing Equestrian might upon a foe.
"I was in Cloudsdale, and a Royal Guard unit was apparently in the docks at the time. I visited it, and was awed by the air of the scene. Imagining them majestically flying through the sky, a formation of mighty machines reflecting Equestria's power."
"I think T–I heard about this," Stardust said, brushing his hoof along his mane after his stutter. "Was this the group that flew through a hailstorm and was damaged?"
"I'll admit seeing the damage only helped the atmosphere of the sketch. Imagining them, valiantly flying through battle, coming home scarred by the fight... it was an amusing thought."
"How do you draw so good? I can't imagine you drawing this with your mouth, and holding utensils in our hooves is finicky at times. I doubt you would have gotten used to it well enough to do this."
Crystal pulled out a claw-like apparatus from her saddlebag and slipped it on her right forehoof. "Thaumium claw. Metal with magical conductive properties. It's a miracle worker." To emphasize, she flexed the claws open and close individually.
"That's really cool."
The mare smiled. "Indeed."
He flipped to another page. "Rainy weather, a river, trees." Stardust removed his gaze from the sketch, looking aimlessly ahead as if reminiscing a memory.
"It's... a very old drawing, I'll admit," the white pegasus said, scratching her head with the clawed hoof. Her words seemed to bring the grey pegasus back to reality. "I've always wanted to paint scenery, but I can't seem to do anything of my own accord."
'Not to mention this specific scene... a tough adversary it is.'
"I'd love to see this painting if–when you finish it. Maybe buy it too."
She smiled at the compliment. "It's sitting incomplete in my work room, buried under other incomplete projects."
"How many?" he asked.
"Numerous," she answered.
"How do you make a living?" the stallion asked.
"Other work," she answered plainly. "My private endeavors are usually separate from the ones that earn me my income."
"Usually?"
"I never said that I was able to keep my emotions separated."
"Huh." Stardust appeared to share her mood. "How bad is it?"
"Every time I stay up at night to work on my own projects, it's never successful. Been so for more than a year," Crystal sadly declared. "I get distracted, I start falling asleep on my sketchbook but keep scribbling along, or I just plain fall asleep without being productive. I feel hopeless."
So hopeless, that she laid down on her side, resting her head on the cloud.
'... This cloud feels so comfortable...'
"I know how you feel. At least I think I do. Nights wasted away, wondering why the idea won't put itself down."
"You surely seem to know a lot. You speak of it like someone who... creates as well. Have you drawn before? Or created anything?" Crystal inquired.
The question seemed to strike a sensitive spot. "... Yeah, I used to."
It was Crystal's turn to question the wording. "Used to?"
"Yeah."
'I don't believe that a pony that only dabbled in these trades would have such knowledge on the experiences.' Crystal inferred. "Why did you stop?"
"Things..." Stardust sighed, looking at his forehooves. "... changed."
"Changed that much?"
He didn't answer right away, seemingly finding the right way to respond. "Yeah." The stallion looked up at the moon, as if the cosmos themselves were responsible for it. That was all he simply said.
"But what about you? It's supposed to be part of your talent, right?"
Crystal sighed. "I suppose it is. But when I can't even chase down and fulfill my own dreams, it's hard not to lose hope. I feel like I'm losing against... something. It's not healthy if it's seeping into the rest of my life."
'I sure will if I don't get my act together.'
Stardust looked at the artist sympathetically. "I believe that you haven't lost until you lose hope."
"I could say the same to you."
"I've already said it to myself before."
"So are you defeated? Have you lost?"
Crystal received no direct answer. Whether or not Stardust answered, she wouldn't know. Crystal fell asleep once more, succumbing to her tired mind yet again.
<<+>>
Crystal opened her eyes. She found herself awakening not to the open skies, but the ceiling of her room.
'Home? I'm at home? But...' "But..." She trailed off. "Did I... dream all of that?"
Surely she did. It would seem impossible for her to be returned home. The idea of the experience felt surreal. She looked around for any signs of the night. From the light entering from her window, Celestia was probably only preparing to raise the sun, if not only minutes from waking up herself.
Rather than staying in bed continuing to try to figure it out, Crystal rolled off of her bed, quickly finding the answer on and beside her nightsand. Placed on the floor against the stand were her saddlebags, and on the stand was her sketchbook and thaumium hoof claw. On the sketchbook was a note.
Crystal picked up the paper and read the note out loud.
Didn't want to leave you out in the cold at 5,000 feet. Apparently I was crazy enough to fly you back home. Must be me subconsciously finding a way to keep myself busy and distracted, and being a nice pony while at it.
Also, I hope you don't mind, but your gallery was quite dusty. Cleaned it up a bit. Amazing work you've done.
Her gallery? She hadn't visited the room in months, for the reasons of avoiding it.
'I... I didn't realize I felt that low about myself.' She finished the note.
Wanted to visit your work room, but didn't want to accidentally mess anything up.
Stardust
P.S. – You're a heavy sleeper.
She took a quick moment to grin at the last line, then opened the nightstand next to her. Inside, among other items, was a skeleton key. Still there. She took it underwing and headed out into the hallway and down the stairs.
Before her was a set of double doors. The plain and simply ornate walnut doors blended nearly seamlessly with the similarly brown wood walls of her homely abode. She slid the key into the brass lock fixture.
She turned it, and the lock opened with a dull click.
'How did he get in? The key wasn't moved... oh... I probably shouldn't worry about it. Well... here goes nothing. A return to the past, which I had somehow blurred my memories of. Or rather, left for dust to cover.'
The gallery had the atmosphere of dust. It was slightly musty, but it might have been worse, were it not for the grey stallion's visit, which must have stirred the air.
'He did. Dusted off the paintings. How considerate of him. If a pony could come in here and admire my work, I suppose I could reexamine my own past then.'
Over on a table was a small picture. She remembered this picture–a small, random image she conjured up after being in the blazing heat of Celestia's sun.
'I think I was buying some fruit that day. Dear Celestia, your sun was very hot that day. A breeze would have been nice maybe.'
Staring at it, she found that she quite liked the small picture. It's quality was better than she remembered, for a spur-of-the-moment creation.
Beside it was its antithesis. It was one of those weeks that just seemed to be dark and gloomy all the time. Probably because it was.
'I think that was the annoying week when shops were closed due to inclement weather. To think I wandered around town getting myself drenched to come home empty-hoofed.'
Turning her head, she faced a painting hung on the wall. She could see where the dust once settled on the frame, brushed off by feathers of a pegasus's wing. A dull gleam came off of the golden frame in the dim light of the early morning. Yet the expensive frame was nothing compared to the vibrant picture it mounted.
'The legend of Cloudsdale, Rainbow Dash and her Sonic Rainboom. Freedom of flight exemplified. When you've got wings, who says everyday life can't be an adventure?'
Moving along, there was a very curious picture. It was Luna's moon as viewed from her window.
This one was done quite quickly. I remember the purpose being a way to tell myself to "just go to sleep already". Still like it though. Not to mention that later piece I did for the same reason that I refused to just go to sleep.'
A little bit above chest level beside that was a sculpture on a small pedestal. It was a small piece, inlaid with gems of a blazing tone. A reading pony was portrayed in it.
'I will never forget the piece based off of this small draft work. How I loved it! And others did too! But then I was cheated from entrance into the showcase galleries in Manehattan and Canterlot!' "Nooo! They wanted something more simple! Something low!"
Crystal found herself wide-eyed in frustration, again reliving frustrations from the past year. She took a deep breath to compose herself, feeling her muscles relax.
'Perhaps it was for the best... but still... to be on exhibit...'
She gave one final sigh before moving on.
And then over in the corner, was another painting. It, too, was dusted off, but was left in the spot Crystal last remembered it. On the floor, against the wall. She took it down herself. It was a project she had wanted to do for a long time, yet somehow never lived up to her standards
'A picture of a jungle. Curious places indeed. All types of weather–hot, muggy sun-drenched weather, or humid, wet rain-drenched weather. I didn't do it justice with this.'
It was probably what lead her to start mentally beating herself up. But Crystal was feeling renewed now, and didn't want to think those thoughts.
'Another attempt sitting down in the work room. This will be the one.'
"I haven't lost yet."
The pegasus made her way out of the gallery, admittedly feeling refreshed. She felt affected by the reminders of what she could accomplish. As she walked towards the entrance to the basement work area, she passed by another, simple painting she had done a couple months ago. It depicted a few ponies out on a picnic, celebrating the Summer Sun Celebration, Equestrian flags and banners waving proud in the scene.
'Huh. I seem to have something for patriotic depictions of Equestria. To say nothing of the airships painting.'
Crystal soon found herself descending into the basement. Upon entering, she walked over to a large picture on an easel. Something else she had been very intent on finishing, and it was going quite well.
'The mighty air power of Equestria. Who needs cloud fortresses when you've got fortresses of metal?'
She would have to get back to work on the airship fleet picture as soon as she could. Elsewhere, she found another large canvas, mostly untouched and unmarked, silently waiting, preparing itself for its grand purpose.
'Tropical forest of rivers and rain, I have not forgotten of you. I'm almost ready to face the challenge again.'
Crystal hoped so. She only took about a year to prepare herself for what to her seemed a daunting task. The mare was careful not to pressure herself too much. Small side projects were strewn about. In one corner, there was a piece in progress. Adorned with shining crystals like a previous piece she favored, this one depicted the three alicorns of Equestria.
'Princess Sparkle, may blessings be upon you. And Princess Luna more so. As for Princess Celestia... if she isn't a god for bearing through all she had been forced to experience, I don't know what she is.'
Assorted artwork continued to lay around the room. One of them was a bizarre pony figure made of sinister twigs that she had created last Nightmare Night–almost a year ago. A storm had hit her area, and dead tree limbs were strewn about. The life-sized figure was nearly finished, but needed some touches.
'This year... yeeesss...'
One could imagine a mischievous grin crawling onto her face. It subsided though, when a new idea hit her.
"Maybe... maybe I should. A picture, in honor of him. The one that helped dust off my mind and see clearly once more. See things for what they could be."
It would call for a sketch. At first, it was nothing but a small idea. Crystal ascended the stairs, intent on returning to her sketchbook in her room.
Small ideas had to be rooted firmly, so that they could grow properly. A foundation that it could work off of. If something didn't work right, she could start anew from the base, but the idea was always there.
When she arrived at her room, dawn had not even broken. Probably a couple of minutes.
'Dawn of a new day. A new start, some say. Have I broken out of my stalemate of not being able to work? Well, I haven't lost yet. Only one way to find out–strike back and see if I have.'
Claw and sketchbook in hoof, Crystal laid on her bed and opened the pages.
Author's Note
This is one of those fics where 'write for yourself' truly applies. This fic was mainly written just for me. It's written in the same vein as Translucence. Symbolic with underlying tone. This one's more optimistic though.
The cover is a defictionalization of a sketch in Crystal's previous story.
I didn't realize I had made the stream/river comparison in the previous fic. Except this time, I had a real memory to picture that image.
This marks the first appearance of my self-insert in a fic. Hopefully, I can get the cover work for that done soon and begin the story. I'll pass through this from my/Stardust's own perspective, actually.
If you're wondering about the 'storm a year ago' thing, I'm allowed to make references. I actually did write a fic with what little power I had, but wasn't able to put the finishing touches. It was so cold those days.
