The Griffon

by Mondai Shunketsu

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Random, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5408

Follow the Griffon as he tears up Equestria, one pony at a time.

He's not given a name, but then again that probably isn't the most important aspect of him. The Griffon stops at a local bar to ease his spirits, but one remark later and he gets thrusts into a bar fight that may or may not be what he had originally intended. This leads to a succession of events that forces allows this unconventional protagonist to fight everypony in Equestria. Everypony.

Art by kittehkatbar

Published 2013-10-18 08:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-01-28 17:32:57 UTC

You're Very Talonted

“One more,” a scarfed Earth Pony said from across the counter. The bartender nodded, sliding a small white cube down the counter. The pony lifted his foreleg, obstructing the block of salt and lifted it to his mouth. He gave a few licks and set it down, taking a sip of cider afterwards.

The fans above the grumbling patrons spun silently. An occasional chuckle came from one of the card tables in the corner of the dimly lit establishment. Two more bodies entered, allowing the stench of old cider and body odor to waft outside. Nopony turned their heads as both figures trotted over to a secluded corner.

A couple of barmaids shifted from behind the counter to serve the remaining customers. The frilly violet dresses they wore hid any indication of a cutiemark. A few shrieks and giggles sounded from behind the lone pony at the bar, and he grinned at the thought.

The door opened again, followed by a soft pitter patter. A few brows raised at the sharp sound. The whip-like tail of the newest patron slammed the door shut and he motioned over to the bar. A low growl escaped his beak as he too glared at the other patrons. He grabbed a seat, tapping on the counter with his talon.

“Seat’s taken,” the Earth Pony said without looking up.

“You must have quite some party,” the Griffon replied. His eyes rested upon the pony down the counter. After a moment without a reply, the Griffon tapped on the counter again, this time clearing his throat.

“What’cha need?” the bartender spat.

“Cider. Make it hard,” the Griffon ordered.

“Ain’t no other way to drink it here.” The stallion behind the counter shuffled off.

“First you take my seat,” the Earth Pony grumbled. “Then you go making noises for no reason.” His eyes finally escaped the dark shadow of his face.

“Might you have a problem with me?” The Griffon’s talons danced along the countertop now.

“No Griffons ever out this far. You’re the one looking for trouble,” the Earth Pony replied.

“The minute you both start something, I’ll make sure neither of you are served,” the stallion behind the counter barked. He tossed the mug of cider at the winged beast and began to wipe down the counter.

“Listen Paw, this Cock don’t know who I am,” the scarfed pony said.

“And you damn well know who I am, so sit tight Saddle,” the bartender scolded. He lowered his hoof and started wiping down the counter again.

“How does it feel when he rides you like that Saddle?” the Griffon chuckled. Saddle sprung from his seat, galloping over to the winged beast.

“Dammit Saddle!” Paw reached over the counter, but missed the pony.

“My turn to ride?” The Griffon popped his wings open. Saddle jerked back from the hit. The pony was shaking his head, stumbling back some more as he wiped the blood from his jaw.

“That’s it, both of you, out,” Paw exclaimed.

“Not till I collect the bits on both your heads,” the Griffon said. He sipped his cider slowly as Paw removed the apron around his waist.

“I gave you chance to leave,” the stallion said, hopping over the table. “Now I get to bash that beak of yours into your skull.”

“Maybe then I could actually taste this cider,” the Griffon replied. Paw shoved Saddle out of the way and rose up on his hind hooves. He swung a forehoof at the Griffon’s face, but the bird leaned back swinging his right claw against the side of Paw’s head.

The stallion hit the counter and fell to the floor. The barmaids screamed and galloped over to a corner. A clamor arose from the back of the bar then. Three more stallions, as well as Saddle, circled the seated Griffon.

“Tear that Cock up,” Saddle said.

“That’s what he said,” the Griffon replied. He grabbed the cider with his tail and hopped off of the stool. One of the stallions snaked in and swung a heavy forehoof. The Griffon moved in and allowed the blow to fall on his left shoulder. He dropped down, letting out a small grunt.

“Bird brained-”

The Griffon’s tail suddenly whipped in front of him, spilling the cider on the stallion. The Griffon rose, swinging his claws upward and scratching the stallion under his chin. The pony wobbled back as the Griffon retreated two steps.

“You gonna let him do that to you?” another stallion asked.

“Nah, he’s really dead now,” the hurt pony replied.

“Still breathing,” said the Griffon.

The pony charged in and jumped to his hind hooves in front of his opponent. The Griffon did the same. His right talon swiped at the pony’s torso and he knocked his forehead into the stallion. The pony clutched his chest and collapsed on the floor.

“Next,” the Griffon taunted, flicking his tail in front of him. Two stallions trotted into the arena, taking a position on either side of the Griffon.

The one on the left ran in and threw a jab into the Griffon’s side. The Griffon grunted and blocked the second strike to his face. He shot his hind leg into the pony’s side, forcing a winded gasp to escape the stallion’s mouth. His claws struck the pony twice over the face. The stallion clutched his muzzle and howled.

Before the Griffon could launch another attack the other stallion bucked him behind the head. His skull bashed into the pony in front of him and they both fell forward.

“Ow, Dammit Wade!” the other pony yelled rolling on the floor.

“Sorry, I forgot you were there!”

The Griffon’s tail suddenly slapped the standing stallion. The enraged pony stamped his hoof at the Griffon, but the winged beast rolled away. He sprung up with a chair in his claws and tossed the object at Wade. Wade bucked the chair away, spilling a few glasses on a nearby table.

“Wade!” A pony from across the room growled at the stallion.

“Sorry.”

The Griffon zoomed in this time and threw a right jab into the pony’s face. He swung with his left arm, but the pony ducked and lunged into the Griffon’s torso. The duo crashed on the floor and knocked over a table. Wade mercilessly beat into the Griffon’s sides and stamped over his body. His claws frantically tried to grasp the stamping hooves.

The Griffon caught a blow with his wing and wrapped his tail around the pony’s neck. Reaching his arms over the pony’s back, he dug his talons into the stallion’s coat. The Pony cried, arching his body back. The Griffon released his strangle. Ribbons of skin flayed off the stallion as he he pulled away from the eagle-lion.

The Griffon lifted off of the floor with his wings. A smirk formed over his beak as the remaining ponies in the room rose from their seats.

“Fantastic…” he groaned.

Author's Note

Notice the emphasis is on the action and not characterization. I planned it that way people.
Just practice... I plan on turning this into a story however.

I Don't Griff a Darn

“You, you’re the Griffon!” a blue earth colt cried.

“Doesn’t anybody know my name?” the Griffon replied.

“I’m like, your biggest fan! Okay, maybe not your biggest fan, but I started your official fan club and we have a total of five ponies in it!”

“If your eyes were any brighter I would probably go blind,” the Griffon said shoving the kid aside. “Out of my way, I need to talk to Celestia.”

“Why do you want to see Celestia?!” the colt asked, his mane bobbing up and down following the Griffon.

“That’s not really your business.”

“But I’m one of your biggest fans,” the colt pleaded. He placed his forelegs over the Griffon’s chest. The eagle-lion growled.

“I wouldn’t even care if you were my mother,” the Griffon said, leaping over the child.

“I’ll make you care!” The blue colt galloped ahead of the winged beast bending his body down in a pouncing position. The Griffon dropped his haunches and crossed his arms.

“Move it. I’m not afraid to slap a foal.”

“I told you, I’m your biggest fan. So I know all of your moves,” the colt rose on his hindhooves and growled.

“I’m not doing this,” the Griffon said flapping his wings.

“Yes you are!” The colt leapt into the air and brought his hind leg down over the Griffon’s head. The Griffon blocked, repulsing the tiny foal and taking stance as well.

The colt rolled on the floor, kicking up some grass and popping back into his battle position.

“Don’t do that again,” the Griffon growled. The tiny pony exhaled. He galloped in, and leapt into the air. The tiny pony threw a few jabs with his hooves. The Griffon blocked each assault. His wings flared open and he bounced upward. The colt grabbed the Griffon’s tail, and pulled down. The Griffon slammed into the floor, his head ringing from the impact.

The blue foal landed on top of the Griffon’s chest and swung his forehoof down. The Griffon caught the blow and tossed the colt aside. He rolled away and sprung up quickly. The colt slid along the ground as well, but recovered just as fast.

This time, the Griffon charged. Clumps of dirt and grass flying into the air as he tread along the ground. The Griffon threw a left punch at the ground, but the tiny colt hopped into the air. He bucked the Griffon in the beak and roundhouse kicked him away. The Griffon stumbled, shaking his head in disbelief.

“C’mon kid, I can’t hit you…” he said brushing his head feathers.

“Apparently not you stupid Cock!” the foal motioned the Griffon over with his hoof.

“Time for a whooping you little shit!” the Griffon roared.

He lifted off with his wings, charging at the boy in front of him. His talons extended to full length and he swiped at the boy’s muzzle. The colt jumped back and blocked the next strike from the Griffon. The Griffon swung his leg at the colt’s head, but the colt ducked. The foal leapt into the air again, socking the Griffon under his chin. The Griffon clutched his beak, stumbling back again, this time wiping the blood from his mouth.

“As bad as this is going, I wouldn’t even call it a fight. I thought you were tough,” the boy sneered.

“You want to see tough then?” The Griffon roared and charged again. The colt laughed and prepared for a strike, but the Griffon took to the air at the last second.

“Huh? Whaa…?” the colt peered into the sky, scanning the air for the winged beast.

The clouds rushed past the Griffon as he scaled higher and higher. He broke the cloudline and halted his ascent above the earth. He slowed his wings down to a hover and rubbed his beak.

“Kids… damn kids,” he whined, holding his head now. He continued the snail’s pace of flight, making for the large castle on the mountainside. The shrill cry of a crazy bastard rang out to him from below. The Griffon groaned at the noise. “I don’t care…”

Author's Note

Ideally, yes. A good fight scene is probably less than 1000 words.

I Don't Even...

Several magic bursts rang out through the cold night air. The dimly lit streets of Clopton were a breeding grounds for derelict gangs and unwanted individuals. So what were a couple of high class mobsters doing there that night, blowing into a large concrete cylinder with their magic? “How many are there?” the Griffon inquired to the panting colt below him.

“I’ve lost count, but then again I’ve killed so many that it doesn’t matter.” The Griffon scowled at his young apprentice.

“What have I told you about bragging? Wait until you’re at least of age.” A magic beam whizzed by the bird’s head, forcing him to duck.

“I am of age,” the tiny blue colt responded, charging out from their hiding spot.

“Stupid kid,” the Griffon sighed, exposing himself as well. The fedora-capped unicorns fired another round of lasers from their head. The Colt ducked and dodged under the attack, leaving the Griffon to handle the beams of hostile energy.

“I am The Blue Colt!” the small earth pony shouted, closing the gap between the mobsters and himself instantaneously. The Colt jumped into the air and whipped a roundhouse kick at the first mobster’s head. The stallion dropped without a hitch. The remaining two stallions fired upon the Colt, but he performed a mid-air spin, weaving between the two sizzling beams of magic.

“He’s not pony!” one of the mobsters cried out.

“He’s not,” came a voice from behind the other two. They spun around, ready to fire, but their heads were cracked together, a forceful claw on either side of their skulls. “He’s my apprentice!”

“In all honesty, I should be the master. After all, I beat you all the time old Cock.”

“Watch your mouth, boy,” the Griffon screeched. “You should be lucky I took sympathy on you and allowed you to win.”

“Is that what you call it? Man, I can’t believe I used to be your fan.” The Griffon clicked his tongue and walked over to the tiny colt.

“Keep it up,” he said with a growl. “You’re just about as bad a trashtalker as I am.”

“You don’t hafta talk trash Cock, you are trash.” The Griffon promptly slashed upward at the Colt, knocking the small boy on his back.

“Damn it boy,” he said, clenching his beak. “Learn to know when we’re joking and not.”

“Hey, don’t do that,” a high-pitched voice called out. “If anyone will be doing any abusing, it’ll be me!” A tall white elk emerged from out of the shadow of a construction trailer and posed ever so poshly in front of the duo.

“Queer,” the Griffon mused, “a elk in charge of a band of unicorns? What are you playing at?”

“No way!” the Colt exclaimed, rising to his hindhooves.

“What is it?”

“That’s the Albino elk, Gane Fructease! He single-hoofedly took down the mob boss in Clopton and took power almost four years ago!”

“That just sounds ridiculous…” the Griffon said shuddering. “So what is a mob group doing in Clopton anyway?”

“The question is, why are you here, Griffon?”

“That’s not my name, it’s-”

“We don’t hafta answer you!” the Colt said, taking an offensive stance. “You may be on my top 10 Most Awesome Villains List, but now that I’m in league with the Griffon, I’ll take you down!”

“Shut up, we don’t want any trouble. We accidently took their tacos and they retaliated, no biggie.”

“No biggie?” Gane asked wildly, bringing his forehoof up to his forehead.

“Oh, you’re that kind of guy,” the Griffon grimaced.

“You dare to steal a meal from my hard working lackeys? I shall show you fear!” Gane removed the two horns on his head and twirled them about in his forehooves as he rose on his hind ones.

“You’ve got to be kidding me, we’re not going to take down a mob boss. The whole point of being a bounty hunter is to be inconspicuous!” the Griffon yelled. A herd of unicorn emerged from off the construction site, aiming their horns in the Griffon’s direction.

“I don’t care if you want to fight me or not,” Gane said rocking back and forth, holding his antlers like a pair of blades. “Killing the Griffon will give me the chance I need to excel in this underworld!”

“Why does everyone want to kill me?”

“I’ll take care of the pony-folk,” the Colt said with a grin. “You take down Gane like the hero that I know you are!”

“Do you know how much sense this is making right now?!”

Shots fired from the entire perimeter, lighting up the field in a blazing purple glow. Dirt and smoke kicked up, shrouding the center of the site. The unicorns did not let up, unleashing volley after volley of magic bursts. Gane stood there, staring into the cloud, waiting for his foes.

“Did we get em?” a unicorn asked. Suddenly, a tiny blue earth colt kicked him in the side of his jaw.

The Griffon descended from the sky, talons drawn and ready to swipe at Gane. Gane, reared back, catching the strike in one of his horns. With his free foreleg, he swung his other antler at the Griffon who maneuvered into the air while still clutching onto the elk’s previous antler.

“Feisty, aren’t we? Oh ho ho!” Gane swung the antler that the Griffon held onto roughly into the ground. The concrete foundation ruptured at the impact, creating a large crater in the floor. A jagged fissure stretched out into the road, the Griffon lying inside of it.

“Why are you just laying there?” the Colt exclaimed, dodging in and out of magic blasts, punches, and kicks. “If we defeat him, our prestige will go up!”

“This isn’t a game!” the Griffon shouted back.

“Indeed not!” Gane cried out from above the Griffon. He held one of his antlers high above his head and brought it down, smashing once more into the concrete bedding. “Oh, but you’re fast.”

“I have to be,” the Griffon said from behind the elk. He struck the elk a few times in the back and brought his leg up into Gane’s side. The kick shoved the elk sideways.

“Not quite,” Gane said, screeching to a halt. He hadn’t been knocked down, but the attack forced him to stumble a bit. “Fire!” he cried, pointing at the Griffon. The Griffon leapt into the air, avoiding several attacks from the surrounding unicorns.

“C’mon kid, do your job!”

“I’m on it!” the Colt replied, digging his hindhooves into two gangsters. One unicorn grabbed the Colt from behind, but the boy jolted his head back, smashing the back of his cranium into the stallion’s muzzle. His body spun around and he roundhouse kicked the bleeding stallion away.

Two more stallions in the distance began firing on the colt now, but he took cover behind a pallet of cinder blocks. Once the unicorns halted their fire, he leapt out, tossing two cinder blocks in their direction. The unicorns easily dodged the attack and aimed their horns at the boy again, but he was gone. Suddenly, they both flew upwards, hit under the chin by two powerful bucks from the small figure.

“Thanks,” the Griffon said, grabbing the two airborne unicorns in his claws and zooming back over towards Gane. “Hey, Gane, take these!” The Griffon launched both stallions at the elk. They cried for help as their bodies soared in the air. Gane bit his lip and snarled. He swung his body around, kicking both of them out of the way in two fluid strikes.

“You will pay for that, Griffon!”

“I don’t think so!” the Colt cried, appearing suddenly from under Gane. Gane swatted the child away with his antlers, however, the strike left his right arm exposed. The Griffon was on top of him in a second.

“Give me a break why don’t ya?!” he screamed and launched a punch into the elk’s clavicle. Gane screamed in pain, dropping one of his antlers and clutching his shoulder with his other hoof.

“Oooooh, my foreleg… what have you done?!” he cried out.

“Forget what I said earlier,” the Griffon growled, shooting a kick into Gane’s gut. He followed up with a few punches to the elk’s face and then brought his knee up against his chin. Gane stumbled, which gave the Griffon the opportunity to finish with a devastating headbutt. “I didn’t want the two bits on your head, but I think I’ll take it, Gane.”

“You… you did it!” the Colt yelled, rubbing his bloody face. The remaining unicorns in the area bolted off as sirens echoed in the distance.

“Wasn’t much of a fight,” the Griffon commented, spitting out some blood.

“I know, I did all the work.” The Blue Colt looked up to the Griffon and chuckled. “So, are we going to collect the money on this guy and then move on to the next target?”

“There is no next target,” the Griffon sighed, picking up Gane and flying into the air.

“Of course there is!” The Griffon ignored the Colt, and flew away. Police sirens sounded louder, prompting the boy to follow his master. “Hey, we still didn’t get our tacos!”

Author's Note

More senseless and random violence. I'm stuffed with turkey and whatnot...

Don't Force It...

The Griffon, one of the most well-known bounty hunters in his country has come to Equestria in search of… something. You know, he’s not really sure, but what he is sure of is that since his time in equine country, he’s managed to piss off all of the right ponies and only get himself in deep trouble. Another beautiful sun shines over Equestria, albeit a little hotter than usual. The Griffon and his young apprentice who dubs himself as, the Blue Colt now must face one of the most challenging aspects of their adventure together… their short tempers on a blistering hot day.

“Come on, you stupid cock, give me some ice cream,” the young colt moaned as he and his mentor passed by another bloated sherbert stand.

“I don’t have any money,” the Griffon replied, slowly walking along the sidewalk of the crowded Manehattan streets. He shoved a stallion out of the way, growling at him after the pony tried to retaliate.

“What happened to all that cash we got for taking down… oh, what’s his name?” The Blue Colt stepped on another individual that the Griffon had just pulled to the floor.

“We paid for food, and the hotel that we stayed at. Then, you dropped the rest into the sewers while we were being chased by the cops,” the Griffon said, glaring at the small pony behind him.

“You said, ‘We gotta loose the pig,’ so how was I supposed to know you meant the cops, and not the money?!”

“Only an idiot child would put five-hundred bits into a piggy bank.” The Griffon knocked into a mare, causing her to fall into the flower stand she was standing over.

“Well, I’m your idiot child,” the colt said, looking up the mare’s skirt. The Griffon grabbed him by his mane and tossed the child across the street. He flew over several carriage taxis and crashed into a crowd waiting to cross the road.

“I never consented to you following me! Your mother still has a price on my head!” The Blue Colt struggled out of the prison that was a mass of fallen bodies. He landed on the sidewalk, staring at the Griffon and blowing steam out of his nose.

“Well then, how about I collect the reward on your head and buy my ice cream with that,” he shouted, catching the eyes of every pedestrian on this particular street.

“Go ahead and try,” the Griffon yelled back. “I’ve been wanting to give you a beating for a while now… Give me a reason to!”

“Uh, excuse me sir, I think you need to calm down,” a grey coated stallion said, placing his forehoof over the Griffon’s shoulder.

“Son, where is your mother, why are you playing with that nasty griffon?” a sweet sounding mare asked the earth colt.

“Leave me alone…” the Griffon shouted, grabbing the stallion’s foreleg and swinging him into the air.

“...and mind your own damn business!” the Blue Colt cried, performing a grapple of his own on the mare.

Both idiots brought their victims into the air and chucked them at each other. The ponies screamed as they went flying, smashing into each other in the middle of the road and falling unconscious on the street.

“I’m tired of your constant whining and you following me around!” the Griffon screeched.

“I’m sick of you being a cock all the time!” the Blue Colt brayed in response.

“And I’m sick of you two disrupting the peace in my city,” a deep voice called from above. Both parties looked up and saw a figure couching over the edge of a building. The stallion, garbed in odd orange spandex and sporting a red cape hopped from his perch and landed perfectly on the road, without so much as disturbing a pebble.

“Who the hell are you?” the Griffon asked.

“No way! You’re the Plowin’ Stallion!” the Blue Colt shouted.

“Is he a porn star?”

“No, you stupid cock!” the Blue Colt yelled. “He’s one of the Super Six! Manehattan’s elite team of super ponies!”

“That is correct!” the… heh heh, Plowin’ Stallion shouted, striking a pose.

“He’s a porn star,” the Griffon sighed.

“Mr. Stallion!” the elated cries of joy exploded from all around the city, mostly of mares. The Griffon merely nodded and pointed to the earth stallion in the middle of the road, mouthing something to the Blue Colt.

“He’s a baguette?” he asked aloud, trying to decipher the Griffon’s beak movements.

“Now the, unruly griffon and equally unruly colt,” the Plowin’ Stallion called, grabbing the attention of our two heroes. “I’m afraid such disturbance will be handled accordingly, starting with my request to ask that you cease your delinquent activities!”

“Man, it’s too hot to deal with this right now,” the Griffon growled. “I’m going to teach that boy a lesson over there, so stand aside. I’ll kick your ass later.”

“Come and get it!” the Blue Colt snorted. As the Griffon lifted off, he suddenly found himself blocked by the oppressive stallion in the brightly colored orange spandex. Honestly, it clashed with his brown coat, but that wasn’t the only thing that would be clashing right now.

“I said, stop! In the name of jus-” the Griffon interrupted the pony, smashing his fist into the stallion’s left cheek. The Plowin’ Stallion slid across the asphalt, crashing into an oncoming carriage as he entered the intersection.

“Now that he’s out of the way,” the Griffon growled, furrowing his brow towards the Blue Colt.

“I’m going to beat you up, and make you buy me an ice cream cone!” the Colt shouted, charging across the crosswalk.

“It’s not even ice cream, it’s sherbet, you stupid foal!” the Griffon yelled, swooping in on his wings.

Both parties prepared a strike, launching their respective attacks simultaneously. However, a forceful blur collided into them, knocking both off balance and subduing them onto the floor. A flaming trail of burnt cinders segregated the Colt and the Griffon, a heavily breathing figure looming over them as the source of the skid marks.

“How dare you strike a member of justice!” The Plowin’ Stallion roared. “For your actions, I decree that you be forcefully punished!”

“I don’t swing that way,” the Griffon tried to say, but was launched into the sky by a brutal uppercut. The Stallion leapt into the air, soaring higher than the Griffon. He held out his left hindhoof, allowing gravity to take care of the rest. The Griffon’s face collided with a powerful stomp, and he plummeted to the ground.

“Ooh dang, you got served,” the Blue Colt chuckled.

“I let him hit me,” the Griffon groaned. Plowin’ Stallion landed in front of the Griffon and lifted his body up high.

“Forceful Stomp!”

“Thanks,” the Griffon managed to say before pushing out of the stomp with his wings. He sprung off of the ground and glided over to the Stallion, talons extended and whipping about in a flurry of slashes. The Stallion raised his forelegs, however the successive strikes from his opponent dug at his skin, tearing up the neatly fashioned spandex over his pristine coat.

“Stop!” the Stallion shouted, smashing his forehead into the Griffon’s.

“Ah! Damn it, that hurts,” he shrieked, clutching his face.

“Now you’ll know why I’m called the Plowin’ Stallion!” the pony snorted, leaping away from the Griffon. He dug his hindhooves into the asphalt, increasing the tension in his squatted haunches. “Penetrating Burst!” The Stallion exploded forward, launching off of the road and straight at the Griffon.

“Move, you dumb cock!” the Blue Colt shouted. The Griffon flew into the air, finally removing his claws from his face. The Plowin’ Stallion sped right under him and crashed into the printing shop on the other side of the road. The whole building shook from the impact, tumbling over and scattering ponies everywhere.

“What was that?”

“That’s his signature move! The Penetrating Burst! It has enough force to rip through anything that comes in contact with it,” the Blue Colt replied.

“What a stupid attack,” the Griffon scoffed. “He does realize he’s fighting a griffon, right?”

“You dummy, he can perform the attack in the air too! As long as he’s got a springboard to launch off of!”

“Springboard?” the Griffon asked, turning around. The Plowin’ Stallion stood on top of the building next to the ruined printer shop. Within seconds he had primed his jump. “Sonofa-”

“Penetrating Burst!”

The Stallion rocketed towards the Griffon again, obliterating the launch pad he had just fired himself from. The Griffon dodged the attack again, though this time the move had come quite close to striking him.

“Falling action, it’s my turn now,” he said, zooming over to the decelerating pony in the air.

“You will not win, obstructor of the peace!” the stallion cried. “I am the Plowin’ Stallion, member of the Super Six, destroyer of you!”

“You know, your name doesn’t even rhyme,” the Griffon remarked.

“I-it doesn’t?”

“Not in the slightest,” the Griffon replied. He flew closer now, locking the pony in a full nelson and rising into the air. The Stallion struggled, squirming about wildly and thrashing his head back and forth. The Griffon maintained course and held his grip, rising higher and higher into the air. They broke the cloud barrier and continued to ascend.

“You fool,” the Stallion chuckled. “I’m the-”

“I know who you are, oh my deity would you just stop!”

“I can withstand the impact of any force! No matter how hard I land, I won’t be affected!”

“Thanks for the tip,” the Griffon replied, pulling back on the stallion. He increased his wingbeats, and adjusted his course, performing one loop after another in the air.

“What… are… you… Urgh…” the Stallion moaned, holding back a swell of matter in his throat.

“If you can withstand the impact, then there’s no point in trying to win by beating you senseless,” the Griffon said. “So instead, I’ll make you kill yourself. You’ll be so sick from the motion and altitude sickness, you won’t be able to fight!”

“Please… stop…” the stallion burped.

“Whatever you say,” the Griffon replied, finishing his last loop.

He began spiraling downwards, descending from the atmosphere at an alarming rate. The Griffon increased his velocity so much so that a trail of smoke began to plume from behind. Manehattan came back into view and the Griffon unlocked his arms, firing the Plowin’ Stallion from the air. The pony impacted with the ground, drilling into the earth a little before coming to a complete stop.

“Oh yeah! That’s my master!” the Blue Colt cheered, jumping up and down the sidewalk.

The Plowin’ Stallion lay still in the small crater, smoke rolling off of his back. He moaned into the dirt and lifted his face off of the ground, staring at the horrified faces of the onlookers.

“Do not abandon me, citizens of Manehattan,” he moaned, bringing his hooves up to his mouth. The pony leaned over and retched all over the road. Everypony groaned, turning away or adding to the mess themselves. As the Stallion released his last surge of stomach contents, the Griffon landed next to the Blue Colt, who had embraced him in a gleeful clasp.

“You’re awesome,” the colt said.

“You’re still dead,” the Griffon replied. “By the way, he let some of it out on our way down.”

“Eww, you got vomit on my coat!” the colt cried, releasing the hold on his master.

“Regardless, I think it’s about time we disappear. I’d rather not meet Celestia again,” the Griffon said, pushing the colt along.

“The heat is making my sweat mix with it!”

“Stop complaining, I’ll get you an ice cream…”