Discord's Trumpet

by aCB

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Main 6, Spike, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Big Macintosh, Random, Slice of Life
Length: 12960

A black comedy involving fillies getting into shenanigans (that is, drugs)

The Cutie Mark Crusaders are about to have their first ever sleepover in their clubhouse! They are all very excited, even when it turns out that Spike will be joining them as well. They can’t wait to have an entire night by themselves to try to get their cutie marks, but there are other forces at work that night.

What crazy plans will the Cutie Mark Crusaders come up with this time? What will Spike do when he finally gets some alone time with Rarity? What does Rainbow Dash’s bathroom have to do with all this? And why is Rarity upset her little sister has finally gotten her cutie mark?

Note: Rated teen for recreational potion and cider use and some sex jokes. Contains no clop.

My Little Pony Blotter Paper found here.

Published 2013-10-19 04:00:04 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-19 04:00:04 UTC

Getting Ready

“Come on, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle squeaked to her older sister, who was preoccupied with securing a topaz to her latest creation.

“Sweetie Belle, I don’t want you spending the night in that dreadful tree house unless Applejack is there to supervise you.”

Sweetie Belle stomped her hoof, “You aren’t listening to me, Rarity! I already told you, Applejack is delivering a load of apples to Canterlot. Can’t you come instead?”

Rarity looked up briefly from her work, “Spend the night out in an apple orchard, without even the most trivial amenities? I don’t think so. Besides, I have a very important order I have to work on tonight. You’ll simply have to do it another time.”

Sweetie Belle stomped over to the couch, pouting. What if Applebloom and Scootaloo went without her? She couldn’t stand the thought of them spending the night without her, only to be told later of all the exciting fun and crusading they had. What was Rarity even afraid of anyway? Nothing bad ever happens on the farm. Even if Applejack were there, she probably would sleep at the farmhouse and only check up on them once in a while. Wait…

“Rarity?” Sweetie Belle pleaded in the cutest voice she could muster, “What if we asked some grown pony to come by and check on us every once in a while?”

“Now who would do that, dear? Sweet Apple Acres isn’t exactly a pleasant walk to be had in the middle of the night when one should be getting their beauty sleep.”

“How about Twilight? She can just teleport over every once in a while! It wouldn’t be any trouble at all for her.”

Rarity sighed, “Ok, I suppose if Twilight is willing, then it’ll be ok. But you are not to harass her, you understand? If she says no, then you are to say thank you and leave her be. You promise, Sweetie Belle? Sweetie Belle…?”

But Sweetie Belle was already out the door.

Applebloom looked up curiously at the ethnic masks lining the walls of Zecora’s hut. One was smiling at her, teeth bared in a devilish way, with a strange vine growing out of its mouth. Next to it was a blank, staring face, with dried gourds hanging off of it like a necklace. A lot of ponies were creeped out by the foreign and off-color decorations of Zecora’s place, but Applebloom found them fascinating. Helping Zecora with her potions and herb gathering was a favorite pastime for Applebloom ever since the day they first met.

“I am back with herbs for my brew. How about you stir them in the stew?”

Applebloom turned around. Zecora had returned from her walk into the deep part of the Everfree forest, her saddlebags stuffed full of rare and magical plants. Applebloom rushed over and took Zecora’s bags. She had to be extra nice to Zecora today. She was here to ask for a favor, for something that Zecora had told her about several weeks ago…

Applebloom added the herbs in the correct amount to the kettle boiling in the middle of the room. Truth be told, she was rather nervous, not only because she had to make sure not to mess up Zecora’s important potion, but because she was worried about how Zecora would react to her request. The last time she took something from her hut, the results weren’t exactly… pretty.

“Hey Zecora?” started Applebloom in her high pitched southern drawl.

“Hmm?” she responded as she checked the potion for consistency.

“Remember how that one time we were makin’ that comfort potion for that one pony?”

“He had eaten two year old hay, so his stomach turned in a very bad way! Of course I remember, little foal; you helped me quickly meet my goal.”

“You said that if somepony takes a comfort potion when they’re feelin’ good, that it makes ‘em happy and have a really good day.”

“The words I spoke were quite true. Comfort potion does just that, through and through.”

“Y’all told me one day you’d let me try some so I could see for myself. I was wonderin’…”

Zecora smiled, “For you to be older was the intention I had…”

Applebloom’s mood started to sink.

“…but I suppose one little try couldn’t be that bad. It is wisdom that you must earn, but it is through experience that you learn.”

Zecora walked over to her potion cabinet, unlocked it and took out a green potion in a small round bottle. Applebloom stopped stirring momentarily to take it.

“This bottle contains one dose, but it will make your day better than most!”

“Thank you, Zecora!” Applebloom cried as she hugged her friend.

Zecora smiled as she walked over to look at her potion book. Her smile faded as she looked quickly back and forth between her book and potion. Then she let out a sudden cry, making Applebloom drop the wooden spoon in to the cauldron.

“I forgot the most important step! A crucial ingredient I must quickly get!”

“Uhm, Zecora? That didn’t really rhyme.”

Zecora neighed with annoyance as she hastily grabbed her cloak. Before Applebloom had time to register what was happening, she was out the door.

Applebloom could understand why Zecora was so upset. She had never seen her skip an ingredient before, and this was a potion for an Equestrian VIP (very important pony). She looked outside and saw the sun starting its long path down in the sky. She needed to get out of the Everfree forest before sundown. Plus, she had a Cutie Mark Crusaders sleepover to get to! This was going to be the best one yet, because she had a little bottle she was planning to share. Speaking of which…

Applebloom walked over to the cabinet Zecora had gotten her comfort potion out of. It would be no fun for just one of the crusaders to have an awesome night, so she needed a little bit more. She was sure Zecora wouldn’t mind. After all, she wasn’t really taking anything without permission. She was just upping the amount so everyone could have some. She set the small bottle of green potion down in the cabinet Zecora had forgotten to lock, and took a large pyramid shaped bottle up from right next to it. Applebloom placed this new bigger bottle of green potion in her saddlebag and whistled as she set off for home.

This was going to be the best night ever…

“It was really awesome of you to bring me up here to hang out,” Scootaloo said breathlessly, looking at the ground from the edge of Rainbow Dash’s house cloud.

“Ah, don’t mention it, squirt,” Rainbow Dash replied in her usual confident voice, “I figure you might like seeing my new routine from up here. Gives you a different angle to see some pretty cool flying, know what I mean?”

“Absolutely, Rainbow Dash,” Scootaloo said, racking her brain to remember what Rainbow had told her earlier about the mechanics of her new moves so as to better impress her.

“Seeing as how it’s your first time up here, I bet you’d like to see my pad,” Rainbow Dash continued, sparing Scootaloo from having to say anything, “Come on, let’s check out Château Rainbow. Hey! That rhymed. Man, I’m awesome even when I’m not trying! You like that, Scootaloo? Château Rainbow…”

“Sure do, Rainbow Dash. What does château mean, anyway?”

Rainbow shrugged, “I don’t have to know the cool phrases - I just come up with them. What am I, a dictionary?”

She led Scootaloo into her towering cloud-home. Scootaloo looked up in wonder at the columns reaching up for the ceiling, and the beautiful (if dusty) marble floors.

“…and over there’s the kitchen, but I don’t usually go in there that much, too much of a hassle to keep it clean, you know? There’s the sitting room, but I don’t have people visit that often, but I bet they wish they could. It’s awesome being a pegasus, huh Scoot?”

Scootaloo didn’t answer. She was entranced by the sheer magnitude of being inside her idol’s home.

“Come on,” Rainbow continued, not waiting for Scootaloo’s reply, “Let me show you the summit, it’s where I jump off to get speed for some of my cooler tricks.”

Scootaloo followed Rainbow Dash up several flights of stairs to the top of her tower-home. She made a small gasp when they came out the trap door leading to the roof of the structure. As beautiful as Rainbow’s home was, it was that much better viewed from the top. Rainbow waterfalls fell all around them, emitting a deafening roar. The true height of both her tower home and the cloud it rested on was truly put in perspective. She could see the mountains refracted through the rainbow waterfalls, and it rendered her speechless.

“Pretty cool, huh?” Rainbow Dash asked, “You want to see me do some tricks? I bet you’d have a pretty good view from up here.”

“Yeah, that’d be great,” said Scootaloo, as she became aware of a sudden personal need, “Could I go to the little filly’s room real quick first?”

“Yeah, I guess,” sighed Rainbow Dash, “Go down the stairs to the second floor and it’s the first door on the right. You better hurry though, cause I’m not gonna wait around for long.”

“You got it Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo cried as she scurried off.

She rushed down the stairs, not wanting to miss the private show that Rainbow Dash had promised her.

"Ok, second floor, first door on the right…” Scootaloo murmured to herself and she slowly pushed open the restroom door. The bathroom was as majestic as the rest of the house with marble bathtub and sink, yet still had that Dash-like touch of slight messiness. There were clothes thrown haphazardly on the floor and a stack of old magazines sitting on top of the toilette.

She rushed over and did her business as quick as she could. She flushed the rainbow colored toilet water and hurriedly washed her front hooves, glancing over at the magazines. Huh. Those look kind of weird… She leaned over to look at the top one. On the cover was a young mare in a suggestive position. The title read “Ponyboy”.

“What the heck is a ‘boy’,” she muttered to herself, picking up the magazine. The titles of the articles were things like “Canterlot’s biggest plots” and “Was Queen Chrysalis a fillyfooler?” Scootaloo flipped through the pages of the magazine. Inside were pictures of ponies doing all sorts of things that she had never seen before along with articles that she doubted anyone would ever read. She was old enough to know about sex, of course. She heard enough about it from classmates when Ms. Cheerilee wasn’t around, but she’d never seen any pictures of it. Staring at one of the pictures of large muscular stallion holding down and having his way with a screaming mare, she felt an unfamiliar tingling.

Scootaloo didn’t need any convincing. She grabbed the magazine in her mouth and rushed out to the front hall, where she stuffed it into her saddlebag. She’d just bring it back the next time she came up to Rainbow Dash’s. She would never even know it was missing. Maybe she’d show it to the other fillies tonight – they might like it too.

At that point Rainbow Dash came flying down the stairs to meet Scootaloo in the front hall.

“What’s taking you so long, squirt?” she exclaimed, “I don’t think even Rarity is as full of crap as you must have been to have taken that long!”

“Sorry, Rainbow Dash!” replied Scootaloo nervously, “I uh… just remembered that I have to get back and get ready for my slumber party tonight. I’m so sorry, but I’ll see you again soon, right?”

“But... Fine,” Rainbow sighed, disappointed, “You sure you don’t want to stay? I have to say, you’re missing out. These tricks are pretty awesome.”

“Sorry…” Scootaloo said. She really was sorry, but she wanted to get ready as quick as possible. Plus, she didn’t want to stick around in case Rainbow caught on that she stole from her.

“You need help getting down?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“No, getting down is something I can do.”

With that, Scootaloo rushed out and hovered slowly down to the ground.

A hoof knocked on the front door to the Golden Oak Library. Twilight Sparkle looked up from the technical manual she was studying.

“I wonder who that is? I’m not expecting anypony. Can you get that, Spike?”

“Sure thing, Twilight,” Spike replied eagerly as he hopped up and answered the door.

“Hey, Spike,” Sweetie Belle said as the dragon opened the front door, “Is Twilight home?”

“Uh, yeah, but she’s kind of busy. What did you need, Sweetie Belle?”

Sweetie Belle’s heart sank. If Twilight was busy with something, then there’s no way she’d be able to check up on them. When Twilight was working on something, then absolutely nothing could distract her (except maybe Discord).

“You mind if I talk to her?” Sweetie Belle asked if nice as she could, “I won’t be long.”

“Alright, but don’t take too long. She’s working on a new sciency thing she just bought.”

Sweetie Belle rushed past Spike and into the library. There, Twilight sat with a pile of books and blueprints. Next to her was a machine covered in indicator lights, dials and meters that sat in several pieces on the floor.

“Oh, hi, Sweetie Belle,” Twilight greeted pleasantly, briefly looking up, “What brings you here this evening?”

“Hello, Twilight! What are you doing? What’s that machine you’ve got?”

“This is a magic encephalograph. I just ordered it from Uni-Magi Research Supplies. I’m going to be spending all night putting it together. You see, when you connect these piezoelectric probes at certain points on a unicorn’s horn and body, the magic signal will cause the crystals inside to vibrate and bla bla bla blaah. Bla bla blablabla…”

Sweetie Belle could feel herself losing focus. Tonight is going to be so fun! They’d tell stories, and come up with cutie mark ideas, and Applebloom promised that she was going to bring a surprise…

“Focus, Sweetie Belle!” she thought to herself. If there is one thing she’s good at, it’s convincing ponies to do things. Who else could have gotten Rarity to go on a three day long camping trip?

“…so I can get read out data on different ponies casting different spells.”

“Wow, that is so interesting,” enthusiastically exclaimed Sweetie Belle with fake sincerity.

“Isn’t it?” agreed Twilight just as enthusiastically, “Do you want to come by when it’s done? I could use some data on some younger foals who’s magic isn’t fully developed yet. It would be interesting to see what levels of magic appear and proportionality between…”

“Gee, that would be great, Twilight” interrupted Sweetie Belle. There was only so much boredom she could take at a time. “If you’re going to be up all night, could you do me a little favor?”

“I don’t know, I’m going to be really busy all night…”

“It’ll be really quick! I promise! The Cutie Mark Crusaders are having a sleepover at the clubhouse tonight, but Rarity won’t let me go unless you come by and check on us. It’ll only take a second! What if I’m not there and they find out their super special talent and get their cutie marks and I don’t so then they won’t be Cutie Mark Crusaders anymore and I’ll be the only one and I’ll have to have a sleepover alone next time and everyone at school will laugh at me? Please stop by tonight? Please, please, please, please, PLEASE?”

Sweetie Belle gave the biggest, saddest, most pathetic puppy-dog eyes she could muster.

“I don’t know, Sweetie Belle. I don’t see how coming by once is going to be keeping you fillies safe.”

“How about if I go with them, Twilight? I've never been to a sleepover before,” Spike chimed in.

Twilight rubbed her chin with her hoof, “Well, I guess that would make me feel a little better. Plus, it’ll give me some alone time to work on my project. Hmm… Ok, you can tell Rarity I’ll do it.”

“Yay!” cried Sweetie Belle and Spike at the same time.

“Oh man, this is going to be so awesome!” Spike elated, “My very first sleepover! We’re going to have so much fun, eating s’mores and telling ghost stories and playing sleepover games like truth or dare and spin the bottle…”

“SPIKE!”

“…as soon as I find out what spin the bottle is. When are we going, Sweetie Belle?”

“Just be at the Cutie Mark Crusaders club house at sunset. Oh, and bring a sleeping bag.”

With that, Sweetie Belle pranced off to tell her sister the good news and get her own things together.

“All right now, fillies! And Spike.” Applejack added as the four young ones rolled out their sleeping bags in the Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse, “Let me start by jus’ puttin’ down some ground rules. First of all, don’ y’all go wanderin’ off. Except in an emergency, I don’t want you fillies leaving the clubhouse. Got it?”

The three fillies and Spike nodded their heads in understanding.

“Next, I don’t want anypony else coming around tonight. It’s just gonna be you four. Twilight’s ok,” she added, anticipating Sweetie Belle’s remark, “Third of all, I want y'all to have fun! Don’t be doin’ nothin’ you wouldn’t do if I were here with ya, and enjoy your first Cutie Mark Crusaders sleepover!”

With that, Applejack left and headed back for the farmhouse. When she got there, she found Big Macintosh hooking up a harness to the wagon full of apples that Applejack was to take to Canterlot that night.

“Thanks, Big Mac,” she said as she walked up to him, “Now I know ya don’t want me going out all by my lonesome at this time of night, but ya have to realize that we’d be saving a lot of money by me takin’ the night train instead of getting there about now and having to pay for a darn hotel. You understand, right?”

“Eeyup,” Big Macintosh replied with the slightest hint of uncertainty.

Applejack got into the harness and started rolling her wagon down the road toward the Ponyville train station.

“One more thing, Big Mac,” she added as she left, “Applebloom and her little friends are staying overnight at their clubhouse. Jus’… keep an ear out for them, will you? I’m not expecting anything to happen, but ya never know. If there’s some sort of emergency, get in contact with Twilight if ya need help. Good luck now, ya hear?”

“Eeyup,” responded Big Macintosh as he waved goodbye.

The Sleepover they'll never forget

Applebloom watched as Applejack trotted off into the distance. She couldn’t wait for the surprise she had! As soon as Applejack had left, the Cutie Mark Crusaders and Spike instantly started unpacking their bags and excitedly chatting about what they were going to do on their first Crusaders sleepover in the clubhouse.

“I want to play spin the bottle!” Spike said suddenly.

“What?” asked Sweetie Belle, confused.

“Uhm, Spike?” replied Applebloom, “Ah don’t really know if spin the bottle is going to be, uh, fun for us. You do know what spin the bottle is, right?”

“No idea,” he responded happily.

“It’s where you, uh, take a bottle and you… spin it, and…” Applebloom trailed off, slightly embarrassed, looking to Scootaloo for help.

“You have to kiss anypony the bottle points to,” she finished with brashness that would make Rainbow Dash proud.

“Ugh! Really? That’s what spin the bottle is? No way!” Spike said with disgust, “I’m not taking any more sleepover advice from Twilight’s book. I don’t know what seven minutes in heaven is either, but it came from the same book, so I’m not doing it."

“So what do we do now?” he sighed, “That was the only idea I had.”

“Didn’t you say you had a surprise, Applebloom?” Sweetie asked.

Applebloom eagerly nodded, “Ah got this from Zecora’s earlier!”

She pulled out the pyramidal flask full of green liquid with great gusto. She smiled and looked expectantly at the others, expecting praise for her skill at attainment. That wasn’t what she got, though, as the other ponies looked doubtful and hesitant. Her smile faded slightly.

“What’s wrong? Ah thought you guys would be a lil’ more impressed.”

“It’s just…” Sweetie started.

“Remember the last time you took something from Zecora’s hut?” finished Scootaloo, “It didn’t exactly turn out well for the pony who took it…”

Applebloom blushed, “Ok, y’all don’t have to go remindin’ me of that. This time is different, though. Ah’ve been studyin’ real hard with Zecora. I know exactly what this stuff does.”

“What is it?” asked Spike, slightly less doubtful than the fillies.

“It’s comfort potion!” Applebloom replied proudly, “Zecora gave it to me as a reward for helpin’ her out so much!”

The other ponies let out sighs of relief. If Zecora gave it to Applebloom, then it must be okay.

“Well, what does it do?” asked Sweetie Belle, eying the potion.

“It’s a comfort potion! It’s meant to make a pony feel better when they’re sick or feelin’ down. Zecora says if you take it when you’re feelin’ good, that it makes you feel amazin’! She said she’d let me try it jus’ once to help mah studies, because fillies aren’t supposed to be inta this stuff. I decided that Ah’d give it to my best friends, because it’s only fair that I share somethin' this awesome with you guys!”

Scootaloo was excited.

“That actually sounds kind of neat. And there’s something else, too. I brought something cool I found from Rainbow Dash’s. When we’re all feeling good later, maybe I’ll show you guys,” she said, patting the magazine in her saddlebag.

“Oh come on, Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle whined, “What is it? Come on, tell us!”

Scootaloo smile, maliciously pleased with keeping her friends excited with her secret.

“Nope!”

“Please!”

Applebloom, however, was busy studying the potion and comparing it to the smaller one she had got from Zecora. They were shaped differently, but she thought that this one was about three times bigger. They probably wouldn’t get the full dose splitting it four ways, but Applebloom hadn’t known that Spike was coming at the time. It should still work, though. Hopefully. She’d hate to have her friends be disappointed because they didn’t get enough.

“Alright everypony!” she started as the others stopped arguing, “We each have ta take an equal amount, and the effects should happen in a few minutes.”

She uncorked the bottle which gave off a slight hiss as some pressure was release. She hesitated for a moment, and took a big gulp. It was thick, almost as thick as honey, but it didn’t taste like honey at all. It tasted like Granny Apple’s infamous sweet lemon spinach apple stew, except with more spinach. She doubted Big Macintosh would even drink this, and he would eat almost anything.

“What’s wrong?” asked Spike.

“Nothin’,” she choked out, “It tastes awful.”

Coughing, she pushed the potion over towards Sweetie Belle. She hesitantly took it from Applebloom, uncorked it, and took a sniff.

FLASH!

Sweetie Belle nearly dropped the bottle. A flash of light, even more startling in the relative darkness of their clubhouse, along with the high-pitched sound of magic, announced the arrival of Twilight Sparkle. Sweetie Belle froze in place, the bottle of potion still in her hooves. Applebloom quickly grabbed the bottle in her mouth and hid it behind her saddlebag. Twilight, not noticing, looked around and frowned.

“What’s the matter, my little ponies? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”

Scootaloo coughed, “Well, you just… just startled us, is all.”

She attempted a smile.

“Oh, yeah,” Twilight said sheepishly, “I guess next time I’ll teleport outside and come in next time. How’s your big sleepover going?”

“Uhh…” The fillies looked around at each other, still dumbstruck that they were almost caught. It’s not like they stole the potion, but Applebloom and Sweetie Belle had a feeling that their big sisters wouldn’t approve of them taking strange potions. Spike and Scootaloo, however, didn’t have the same reservations.

“It’s going great!” exclaimed Spike, “We were just about to…”

“…tell ghost stories!” interrupted Applebloom, trying to tell Spike with her eyes to just be quiet.

Scootaloo raised her eyebrow, but being older than Spike, started to get Applebloom’s hint.

“Ok, I just dropped by to see if you guys needed anything. Oh, and to say I’m going to start calibrating the magic encephalograph, so I won’t be able to come by again for a little while. You see, the calibration requires looking at readouts of each probe on an object of established magical properties, so…”

“That sounds great, Twilight,” interrupted Sweetie Belle, “We don’t want to keep you.”

The fillies gave their best, albeit fake, smiles. Sweetie Belle twitched nervously.

“Ok, well I better go then,” Twilight said with confusion. With another flash, she was gone.

The fillies breathed a sigh of relief. Spike looked at them curiously.

“Why didn’t you tell Twilight about the comfort potion?” he asked.

“Spike,” Applebloom responded, “The older mares don’t exactly… trust us with potions anymore. Remember the whole issue with the, uh,” she coughed, “Cutiepox? Ah don’ really fancy mah big sis finding out Ah’m still taking stuff Ah got from Zecora’s.”

He looked confused for a second, then his eyes lit up.

“Oh, so it’s a sleepover secret! I get it,” he snickered innocently, “My lips are sealed.”

Applebloom, relieved, grabbed the potion once again and passed it to Sweetie Belle. Looking apprehensive, she pushed it along to Scootaloo.

“Maybe you better try it first…”

“No way, Sweetie Belle. It’s your turn.”

“What’s the matter, are you a chicken?”

The C-word was a fighting word as far as Scootaloo was concerned. Staring straight at Sweetie Belle, she downed more than her share while only choking slightly. She resolutely passed it back to Sweetie Belle. She made a nervous gulping sound, and swallowed a sip of the potion.

“Yuck!” she cried, spitting it out.

“Sweetie Belle!” chided Applebloom, “Don’t waste it! If you don’t want it, then give it to Spike.”

“Yeah, go ahead. Of course, that would make you a chicken,” goaded Scootaloo.

Sweetie Belle gave her a nasty look and with much grimacing and coughing, swallowed almost her whole share of potion. She passed it on to Spike, who jumped at the opportunity and greedily gulped down every bit, licking the lip of the bottle clean.

“Man, this is good!” he exclaimed, “It tastes like… opals and Brussels sprouts. You have anymore?”

Applebloom laughed, “Dragons are weird critters.”

Awkward silence followed, the only sound being Spike goading the last drops out of the bottle.

“So…” Sweetie Belle began.

“Yeah, so when is this supposed to make us feel good?” demanded Scootaloo.

“Calm down, everypony,” responded Applebloom desperately, “It should be… any minute… now…”

She lost concentration. Her pupils dilated rapidly. Scootaloo was spinning her head around. Like, all the way around. Repeatedly. Sweetie Belle was punching Spike in the head. Spike was laughing. Then all three of them switched colors. Then Sweetie Belle switched genders.

“What the hell is going on in here!?” demanded Big Macintosh angrily as he entered the clubhouse.

Sweetie Belle watched as Applebloom started staring off into space.

“Whoa, look at how big her pupils are getting,” exclaimed Scootaloo, “Hey Applebloom, how’re you feeling? I bet you’re feeling good, huh?”

No response.

“Uh… Scootaloo? I think something wrong with Applebloom.”

“I’ll say!” answered Spike excitedly, “Look at her hooves, they’re huuuuggggeee. Woah, so huuugggee.” He repeatedly said the word “huge”. Each time he said it he would say it slower and slower, until he spent so much time on each letter that he was just making noises.

Looking in fear, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo saw that Spike’s pupil’s had become just as big as Applebloom’s. Sweetie was paralyzed in fear, while Scootaloo was thinking wildly about what to do.

“Sweetie Belle, we have to get to the farm! We have to get Big Mac and have him go get Twilight! She’ll know what to do! He can get there faster than…”

“Big Mac!” screamed Applebloom.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle spun around to the spot that Applebloom was pointing at, but there was nothing there.

“Look, Big Mac, Ah didn’t mean it, Ah didn’t mean to steal all your lipstick.”

Sweetie Belle turned back to Scootaloo.

“Come on, Scootaloo, we got to get to the farm house before we go crazy too!”

She grabbed Scootaloo and tried pulling her to the door, but Scootaloo wouldn’t budge. Sweetie Belle screamed as she saw the telltale dilated pupils in her friend’s eyes. She started shaking as she panicked. A claw firmly grasped her foreleg. She tried to pull away as Spike pulled her into a hug. Looking at him, she saw his pupils were still dilated, but he was smiling in a serene, contented way.

“Come on, Sweetie Belle,” he said, his voice having an amazing calming effect, “I heard you guys. Let’s go to the farmhouse. You’re right, we could use Twilight’s help.”

She was so relieved that she had someone to go with her that she let him guide her out of the clubhouse and through the apple trees.

“What do think happened, Spike?” Sweetie Belle started, “You’ve lived with Twilight for a long time. Has she ever said anything about a comfort potion making ponies go crazy?”

“Let me tell you a little secret,” Spike responded, “Ever since I first saw you, I knew there was something special about you. I know I’m a shy dragon, and I probably should have told you this a long time ago. But now I just feel awesome, so here goes…”

Sweetie Belle pulled away from Spike, in shock.

“I like you a lot,” he continued, “Rarity, you are the most amazing pony I’ve ever met. I would really like to have dinner together with you sometime. How about it?”

“What? Rarity?” cried the surprised filly, “Spike, I am not my sister!”

“Yes! Ok, Rarity, I’m going to go ahead. When you’re ready, come down to the Bit & Bridle. I’ll be waiting for you!”

He planted a kiss on Sweetie Belle’s check and ran off into the dark, giggling.

“Spike, wait!” she cried after him, “The farm’s the other way!”

There was no response. She sat down on her haunches next to the nearest apple tree. Sweetie Belle had never been so terrified in her entire life. To be honest, she wasn’t even sure where the farmhouse was anymore. All she could see was the meager light of the Cutie Mark Crusader clubhouse in the distance. She started to cry when she heard something coming her way through the woods. She froze up. What was it? A timberwolf? A changling? Her imagination started to go wild, working her up into a panic, until she heard a familiar voice.

“Sweetie Belle, is that you?”

“RARITY!” Sweetie Belle cried, running into her older sister’s open embrace, never more grateful to hear her voice.

“Sweetie Belle, what are you doing out here in this dreary old field?”

“What are you doing out here? Outdoors? At night?”

“I finished my order early. You know I don’t really like you being out here all alone, so I thought I would stop by here
before I went to bed to make sure you were okay.”

“Thank you, thank you!” squeaked the grateful filly.

Rarity smiled, “Come on, then. Let’s get you back to your little clubhouse.”

Sweetie Belle was so happy, she skipped by her sister’s heels all the way back to the clubhouse. Inside, she saw Scootaloo and Applebloom playing patty cake on the floor. Apparently they hadn’t noticed that anyone had left.

After staring at them for a minute, Sweetie Belle turned to her sister to ask her if she wouldn’t mind staying for a little while longer. This had been a scary night, and she really needed the company of somepony who hadn’t gone completely crazy. But Rarity wasn’t there. She spun around wildly looking everywhere for her, starting to panic again.

But it was all for nothing. Rarity was sitting at the table. Sweetie Bell breathed a sigh of relief. She trotted over to her sister, who was busy sewing two pieces of fabric together with the sewing machine on the table.

“Sweetie Belle!” she called, “I’m sewing a very special dress for Princess Celestia. It would really mean a lot to me if you could help your poor sister out. You’ve really got an eye for fashion, you know. There’s nopony more qualified than my little Sweetie Belle to help me sew a dress for our princess.”

Sweetie Belle’s heart swelled. She skipped happily over to Rarity, her pupils as big as dinner plates.

Zecora breathed a sigh of relief as she bottled up the last of the potion. She had almost had to throw the whole batch away, but thankfully she got the last ingredient – perseus root – into the cauldron in time. She had really lucked out. Usually the perseus plan only grew where many pegasi or owls made they’re home, and she didn’t have time to ask a pegasus to check in Cloudsdale for her. Her usual owl nest in the Everfree Forest had recently been vacated by an owl that had moved to Ponyville, but she lucked out. She found a cottage on the edge of the forest that was inhabited by a pegasus who made her home on the ground, of all places! The potion changed from its red to its mature blue coloring, so she knew everything was alright.

She moved the recently filled bottles to her potion storage cabinet. She set them down in front, about to go get her cabinet keys, but stopped when she noticed the cabinet was already partially open. Strange, she thought she had locked it. She glanced at the interior of her potion cabinet as she placed her freshly brewed potion inside. The last bottle fit just barely fit next to a little round bottle of green comfort potion. Only one left, she’d have to make some more when she got around to it. Wait…

Suddenly remembering why the cabinet was open, Zecora became alarmed. Why didn’t Applebloom take the comfort potion she had been given? Knowing her past track record of ‘borrowing’ things from Zecora’s hut, Zecora quickly scanned and inventoried her cabinet.

Essence of Lemongrass? Check.

Calming concoction? Check.

Polyjuice potion? Check.

Rye whiskey? Check.

Check. Check. Check.

Good, she still had everything. Maybe Applebloom changed her mind. Maybe the little filly was starting to grow up after all.

GASP!

There was something missing! Oh dear Celestia, no. Panicking, Zecora grabbed her cloak and heading off as fast as she could toward Ponyville. The Apple family farm was a few hours away, but hopefully Zecora wouldn’t be too late. Hopefully the larcenous filly had a change of heart. Hopefully.

Spike had a little problem finding his way back to Ponyville, but he finally found the Bit & Bridle. It was Ponyville’s classiest restaurant – only the best for his Rarity. He was surprised to find that the hostess wasn’t currently standing outside to greet him. Humpf. He was going to have to complain to the management when he got inside. He tried the door. It was unlocked.

Inside was a grand dining room, although a lot smaller than Spike thought it would be looking at the outside. Seeing that there were still plenty of seats left, Spike didn’t bother securing one. Whenever Rarity happened to come by, he could impress her by making it look like he had a reservation. Not knowing what else to do, Spike waddled up to the bar and with great difficulty, eventually got himself up onto the bar stool. The bartender promptly walked up to him.

“Hey Lloyd!” Spike greeted, “A little slow tonight, isn’t it?”

“Yes it is, Mr. Spike,” the bartender smiled dryly, “What’ll it be?”

“I’m sure glad you asked me that, Lloyd, cause I got five bits sitting here in my wallet. I was afraid they were going to be here till next April!”

“Your money’s no good here, Mr. Spike,” replied Lloyd, “Orders from the management.”

“Alright then, I’ll have a bottle of bourbon. You set them up, and I’ll knock them back!”

“Very good, Mr. Spike.”

Lloyd placed a shot glass and a bottle of brown liquid in front of Spike and poured him a glass. Spike took it, gazing at the amber liquid in the shot glass he help up.

“White dragon’s burden, Lloyd,” he sighed, “White dragon’s burden.”

"You're more of a purple dragon, sir."

Spike drank down the alcohol. He had never had it before, but he frankly couldn’t see what all the other ponies
(especially Twilight) were always complaining about. It didn’t burn. In fact, it tasted more like… apples.

It was Saturday night, so Big Macintosh was partaking in his favorite weekend activity – drinking week old apple cider. Granny Smith would have chewed him out something fierce if she’d known that Big Mac let a barrel of cider ‘spoil’. Not to mention how upset Applejack would be if she found out she bucked an entire barrel’s worth of apples just for Big Mac’s personal consumption. But letting the yeast do its work on some cider was the best way to get some alcohol for one so impoverished. And he worked hard, gosh darn it. He deserved this.

As he chugged yet another glass of cider, he shifted comfortably on the stack of hay he was sitting on. He usually drank out here in the barn because he didn’t want Applejack hearing him imbibing himself. He didn’t know why he was out here tonight, though. Applejack was out of town, and Applebloom was out in that little clubhouse with her filly friends. Granny Smith probably wouldn’t wake up for a hurricane, so he guessed it was probably just habit. Then again…

He had been waiting for a perfect night to enjoy a bottle of his very special brew. Tonight was as good as any. He could lay in his bed, read a good book, and savor a higher class of beverage. Only giving it a minutes thought, he decided in favor. He went to a little used corner of the barn, and digging through the hay, uncovered a plain glass bottle. Yes, he made this about six months ago. The timing was perfect. Distilled apple cider – applejack.

Big Mac uncorked the bottle and spit the cork away. He took a big swig and smiled. Yeah, he did it just right. He put his lips on the applejack and took another sip. He licked his lips, enjoying the flavor of the applejack. Time to get it to bed.

He took a slow walk from the barn to the farmhouse, taking swigs every once in a while as he walked. Looking down to the fields, he stopped momentarily. Applejack had asked him to watch after the fillies. No, he reminded himself, she asked him to keep an ear out. He listened briefly, and hearing nothing, proceeded to go to bed.

Walking into the living room, he stumbled slightly in the dark. He hadn’t realized how tipsy he had gotten. Probably best to get a bite to eat. He started walking into the kitchen, then stopped.

Sitting on a stool in front of the kitchen counter was a purple baby dragon, sloppily drinking apple juice and talking to the wall.

“What the hell are you doing in mah house!?” Big Macintosh yelled.

Applebloom was staring straight at Scootaloo’s face. She couldn’t stop giggling. Scootaloo just wouldn’t stop making faces. First she had stuck out her tongue and tried touching her nose, with her eyes crossed. Then she flipped her eyes the other way, looking at opposite walls while simultaneously sprouting out a mass of blond hair and grey coat.. Applebloom had no idea Scootaloo was such a natural comedian.

Sweetie Belle was sitting over at the table in the corner, working very diligently on something Applebloom couldn’t see. Curious, she tore her eyes away from Scootaloo and walked over to the table.

“What cha doin’, Sweetie Belle?” she asked.

“Oh, hey Applebloom,” she replied, “I’m just working on Princess Celestia’s dress with Rarity,” she leaned over and kissed the wall and giggled, “She’s the best sister! What brings you by the Carousel Boutique?” She gasped, “I bet you want me to make a dress for you, too! That would be so fun! I’ll make dresses for all the Cutie Mark Crusaders and then we’ll have a fashion show and everypony will hate them but then Hoity Toity will come back and…”

“Sweetie Belle!” shouted Applebloom, finally getting her friends attention, “You’re not at the Carousel Boutique!”

Sweetie Belle’s smile turned into an intense frown, “I’m not?”

“No, you’re here in the clubhouse with me an’ Scootaloo!” she exclaimed, pointing over at Scootaloo, who was sitting on the floor staring off into the distance.

“I guess I am,” Sweetie Belle replied, disappointed, “I don’t know why, I just thought that…” She looked back to where he sister had just recently been standing with her, “I thought Rarity was here, and she was helping me, you know, to get through all this. What’s wrong with us, Applebloom!?”

“Ah don’ know. It has to have been that comfort potion, unless Discord’s around here somewhere messin’ with us.”

Applebloom walked over to the empty potion bottle lying on the floor as Sweetie Belle looked around in fear for Discord. Setting the bottle upright, her hoof brushed across a small embossing on the side of the bottle she hadn’t seen before. It looked like a plant with long flowers hanging downward. She couldn’t help but feel a sinister presence simply by looking at this etching, like they were trumpets playing little songs of chaos. Or maybe she was seeing things again.

“Somethin’s wrong. This isn’t comfort potion,” Applebloom announced. Sweetie Belle stopped jumping at shadows and looked at her in bewilderment.

“What! You said Zecora gave this to you!”

Applebloom smiled sheepishly, “Actually, she gave me a little bottle of it. I put it back and got this bigger bottle so we could all have some. Ah guess Ah got the wrong one…”

“Well then what is it!”

Applebloom froze for a second. She thought she saw somepony, or something, moving outside the treehouse. Sweetie Belle looked to where Applebloom was staring.

“Applebloom!” she squeaked, “There’s nothing there. Don’t go all Scootaloo on me!”

Applebloom shook her head. There wasn't anything there. This potion was messing with her. She saw Big Macintosh earlier, but she realized he wasn’t actually there either.

“Ah don’ know what it is!” she finally responded, “There’s a weird plant on the bottle, but it’s nothin’ Ah ever saw Zecora use before!”

Tears started forming around Sweetie Belle’s massively dilated eyes. Applebloom knew she had to do something quick. She once read one of Zecora’s books about hallucinations, and knew if Sweetie Belle started feeling miserable, that it could only get worse from there. She reached out and hugged her friend.

“Sweetie Belle,” she said soothingly, “Don’t worry. Ya still got me, don’t ya? Besides, Twilight promised she’d come back to check on us sometime. As soon as she gets here, she’ll run off an’ get Zecora, who’ll put us right as rain in no time.”

Sweetie Belle stopped sobbing slightly. She returned Applebloom’s hug.

“You’re right,” she said confidently, “I still have you.”

Applebloom’s eyes went hazy and she stared toward the front door again.

“I’m glad you’re here, Apple…”

“Hello, Cutie Mark Crusaders!” cried a voice as the door burst open.

Applebloom pulled away from Sweetie Belle and trotted up to the door, where Pinkie Pie stood beaming at the bizarre scene inside the clubhouse.

“Pinkie Pie!” cried Applebloom, “Ah am so glad you’re here! Everything’s goin’ crazy! We keep seein’ stuff and hearin’ stuff and… wait a minute. Why are y’all down here, anyhow?”

“Oh, Twilight said she was busy with some crazy Twilight machine, so she asked me to come have some fun with you fillies!”

Applebloom breathed a sigh of relief. Looking around for Sweetie Belle, she saw the filly was back at the corner table, talking to her imaginary sister again. It didn’t matter. She could explain everything to Pinkie Pie, who could go get help. Pinkie Pie was the probably the fastest pony she knew, maybe even faster than Rainbow Dash when she needed to be (although nopony would dare say that in front of Rainbow Dash). Pinkie Pie could go get help in a jiffy.

“So what’s everypony up to?” asked Pinkie as he hopped happily around the clubhouse.

“We’re seeing all kinds of weird stuff. You see, we took this potion…” exclaimed Sweetie Belle.

Applebloom shook her head. There was Sweetie Belle in front of her, talking to Pinkie Pie, and there was another Sweetie Belle in the corner talking to an imaginary Rarity. There was also a Sweetie Belle jumping up and down on Scootaloo’s head, who was still staring at the wall.

“…so we need you to go get Twilight right away!” finished the first Sweetie Belle.

Pinkie stood there, frowning for a moment. Suddenly, her eyes lit up and she laughed.

“I know what’s going on!” she cried. She hopped over and took a seat on a chair, motioning for Applebloom to take a seat on the couch in front of her.

Applebloom looked at the three Sweetie Belles, who either didn’t seem to understand Pinkie or didn’t know she was there. Applebloom cautiously walked up and had a seat on the couch.

Pinkie Pie pulled out a pair of glasses (from where, Applebloom had no idea. She was Pinkie Pie, after all). She put them on, crossed her hooves in her lap, and leaned back on the chair.

Sweetie Belle suddenly appeared standing next to the couch Applebloom was sitting on. She stared straight into Applebloom’s eyes, gazing into her soul.

“Let me give you one piece of advice,” she said in a most un-Sweetie way, “Be honest. She knows more than you can imagine.”

Pinkie Pie smiled, “At last. As you know no doubt have guessed, I am Pinkie.”

Applebloom was confused. She assumed that Pinkie was trying to tell her in her own strange Pinkie Pie-way. The best way to get some information was to play along.

“It’s an honor ta meet ya,” she relied, giving Pinkie a hoof bump.

“No, the honor is mine.”

“You have that look in your eyes,” she continues, “You have the look of a pony who accepts what she sees, because she is expecting to wake up, and that’s not far from the truth. You are in a prison, Applebloom. A prison you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison for you mind. Do you want to know what the potion is?”

“Yes!” exclaimed Applebloom, exasperated, “That’s what you said y’all were gonna to say! That’s why Ah'm here!”

“Unfortunately, nopony can be told what the potion is. They have to see it for theirselves.”

Pinkie grabbed two objects, one in each hoof from the same mysterious place she had gotten the glasses. She revealed the object in her right hoof – a cupcake with bright blue frosting.

“You take the blue cupcake, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red cupcake…”

Before Pinkie could even finish her sentence, Applebloom jumped on the blue cupcake and swallowed it as fast as she could. She wanted the madness to end. She swallowed it with some difficulty. It tasted like... Tasty Wheat.

“Ugh!” cried Pinkie, “You messed it all up! This is the most boring party I’ve ever been too!”

She gobbled up the red cupcake in protest.

“Mmm! Tastes like chicken!”

Before Applebloom could ask what she meant by tasting chickens, Pinkie Pie skipped past Sweetie Belle jumping on Scootaloo’s head and out the door.

Twilight breathed out an exhausted sigh. The machine she had worked so hard on all night was finally assembled. Probe calibration had gone unusually well. She checked all of the readings on the machine and compared them against the data sets in the tech manual. Everything checked out. Now all she had to do was start experimenting.

She looked around the library for possible test subjects. After nearly half an hour of throwing things out of trunks and nearly removing every book from their shelves, she decided a fun experiment would be to test her own personal magic levels, both with and without her crown on.

Wearing her princess crown and element of harmony, she walked down the stairs from her bedroom alcove. Whoa! She nearly tripped on a book and lost her footing. She really needed to have Spike clean this mess up as soon as he got back from his little sleepover.

Oh yeah!

She was supposed to check up on Spike and the fillies around this time. Hmm… well they could wait a little while
longer, she thought as she attached probes to her crown and her horn. She could go in a few minutes.

Spike looked up from his bourbon to the pony who had just called out to him from across the restaurant. He had swore they said “What are you doing in my house”. How strange. His heart skipped a beat when he saw who said it, though.

Standing there, looking absolutely fabulous in a deep red, figure hugging dress, was his love. He laughed to himself. She must had said “How do I look in my new blouse?” How silly that he thought otherwise.

“Rarity!” he cried out as he got down from his barstool. He ran up and hugged the mare around her front legs. To his surprise, Rarity pushed him away. Looking up, he could see she looked confused.

“What’s goin’ on here?” she said confused. She had said it in a most bizarre way. Almost like she was trying to imitate Applejack. He stood a little shocked for a moment before he realized what she was trying to do.

“You’re such a silly filly, Rarity,” he giggled as he hugged her again, “You must have forgotten how late it was. It’s okay. I think the restaurant is closing soon, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little alone time.”

He reached up and caressed the mare’s side. She shuddered at his touch and started to run away.

“Nope!” she cried, again in that strange country accent.

“What a playful pony!” Spike thought excitedly to himself. She wanted him to chase her! He was happy to oblige. He ran as fast as his little legs could take him, following the sound of the pony as she ran up some stairs. He giggled and ran up after her until she locked herself in a room.

“Little pony, little pony, let me come in!” he said, knocking on the door, “Not on the hair of your chinny chin chin? Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow your house in!”

This was so much fun! Rarity sure did know how to show a dragon a good time. As soon as he got in there, he was going to show her how much she meant to her, as only a dragon could. He tried breathing fire on the door, but being such a little dragon, couldn’t do much more than char the outside.

He suddenly remembered the tool he saw wedged in a tree stump right outside the restaurant,

Big Macintosh was panicking. His special bottle of applejack lay spilled on the ground by his feet. The knocks on his bedroom door had subsided. He was debating with himself whether he should open the door to she if he was gone or stay in his room where it was safe.

There was no doubt about – Spike had gone absolutely insane. He was talking to ponies that weren’t there, mistook him for a mare, and now wanted to do Celestia knows what to him. It wasn’t a question of a physical fight. Big Mac knew that it would be no contest. No, it was mostly the immobilizing effect of fear combined with worrying what might happen if Twilight found out he beat up her servant. And what Applejack would do if she found out he knocked out a baby dragon a tenth of his size. No, fighting wasn’t an option.

He slowly tiptoed up to the door and put his ear to it. Nothing. Maybe…

WHAM!

A resounding crack as somepony hacked away at the door. An axe blade pierced through the bottom half of the door. Whack whack whack! Somepony was chopping down the door!

Big Mac retreated to behind his bed, his mind desperately trying to come up with ideas to no avail. As a sliver of wood was removed by the axe, Spike poked his head into Big Mac’s bedroom.

“Here’s Spiky!”

Sweetie Belle was scared. There were too many freaky things going on tonight. Too many things that just didn’t make sense. Scootaloo was still staring at the wall. Applebloom was just sitting on the couch, staring blankly ahead and drooling. What if they never woke up? What if Sweetie Belle never stopped seeing things? She really wanted Rarity to be there. The real Rarity. The one who never wanted help making any dresses.

Sobbing slightly, Sweetie Belle dragged the catatonic Scootaloo and placed her up on the couch next to Applebloom. They slouched slightly, leaning against each other. Sweetie Belle found a place next to them and curled up against her friends. She didn’t care if none of them ever got their cutie marks. She just wanted her friends back.

“Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle,” cooed a calm, yet confident male voice, “They’ll be fine in the morning.”

Sweetie Belle looked up and froze. On the chair in front of the couch sat Discord, sipping some tea.

“Oh, don’t worry about me. I’m not here to do anything (much). All I want is to appreciate a little chaos in the works.”

Sweetie tried to talk, but all she could get out was a small stammering whimper.

“Ah, you want to know why you fillies are in this predicament?” interpreted Discord with a smile, “Well, when one of your friends thought she would enjoy a little magical fun with her friends, she inadvertently picked up the wrong bottle from dear Zecora’s cabinet. You see, you thought you were drinking a comfort potion, but what you were really ingesting was what we in the chaos business call ‘essence of Discord’s trumpet’.”

“Discord’s trumpet?” asked Sweetie Belle, able to get a few words out through her fear.

“Yes, my dear. It’s a lovely little swamp plant. Some call it an essence of chaos. It’s normally used as an ingredient in more benign potions. Sometimes various buffalo and zebra tribes use it to go on a ‘spirit journey’ to find their inner spirit or some other nonsense. Don’t ask me why. I think having a little chaos running through your veins is a reward in itself.”

All Sweetie Belle could do is whimper. Discord sighed with a hint of disgust.

“This is starting to get boring. I suppose I should get Twilight Sparkle over here to come save the day, huh?”
Sweetie nodded desperately.

“Ok,” replied Discord, smiling mischievously, “I’m sure she’ll be right along. I’ll be watching you, Sweetie Belle.”

Discord disappeared with a pop. Sweetie couldn’t decide whether to be hopeful or not. She wanted somepony, anypony, to come by right now, just so she’d have some sane company to see her through the night. But she didn’t know if she could trust Discord. In fact, she knew she couldn’t, but the promise of Twilight coming, and maybe bringing back Rarity was too great for her to give up hope.

Flash!

Twilight Sparkle appeared before her, looking around in confusion.

“Sweetie Belle!” she cried, “What happened?”

She looked over at Sweetie Belle’s sobbing form and Applebloom and Scootaloo passed out on the couch together.

“Where’s Spike?”

“He’s gone! He ran off into the woods! I tried to run after him but then Rarity asked me to make Princess Celestia a
dress and…”

“Sweetie Belle! Calm down!” Twilight insisted, rubbing the filly reassuringly, “Just relax. Everything will be okay. How about I go get us some warm milk?”

“Ok. But hurry back!”

With a flash, Twilight vanished. Sweetie only had a moment to wonder what Twilight was going to do to help them when she reappeared, levitating four glasses of milk.

“Applebloom? Scootaloo?” Twilight called gently. The two fillies that were spaced out on the couch slowly started blinking and looking around. Sweetie Belle was so happy to see her friends better that she jumped over and hugged them.

“I’m so glad you two are okay! You have no idea how bad it’s been! You’ve been just staring and I was worried and… I’m so glad you’re okay!” she squeaked.

Twilight smiled as they all took their milk. She took a seat between Sweetie Belle and Applebloom and started drinking her milk, staring ahead. Applebloom and Scootaloo followed suit. Sweetie raised her eyebrow but didn’t question it. She took a sip from her milk. It tasted kind of funny. She turned toward Twilight to ask her what was going on, but Twilight started to speak on her own.

“There is me, that is Twilight, and my three fillies, that is Applebloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. And we sat in the Crusader’s milk bar, trying to make up our resudocks what to do with the evening…”

Sweetie looked over at Twilight to ask what in Celestia’s name she was talking about. Resudocks? And why was Twilight suddenly wearing a bowler hat?

“…The Cutie Mark Crusaders sold milk plus. That is, milk plus vellocet, or synthemesc, or dremcrom, which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultraviolence.”

Twilight turned he head very slowly until she was staring right at Sweetie. Her eyes and her grin became very manic.

Suddenly the drink glass disappeared from Sweetie’s hand. Her vision distorted, with waves and lines and colors. Slowly, her normal vision returned. Twilight was gone and Scootaloo and Applebloom were still catatonic like they were a few minutes ago. She heard a sudden burst of laughter and saw Discord sitting in the seat in front of her, this time drinking milk plus.

“I just love how you ponies always fall for it, every time,” he laughed, wiping a tear from his eye, “You know I didn't even even do anything? All I had to do was suggest that Twilight was coming and your whacked out brain did the rest! Ha ha! Man, I love the stuff. I'll tell you what, you’ve been such a good sport, Sweetie Belle, that I’ve decided to give you and your friends a gift.”

Sweetie Belle was in no mood for anymore of Discord’s tricks.

“We don’t want any present! Just return my friends to normal and go!”

Discord stood up and turned his back in mock sadness.

“All I wanted was to reward you for being such a good sport, but if you don’t want your cutie marks…”

“Wait,” said Sweetie Belle. She could at least hear what Discord had to offer, right? “What do you want in return?”

“Oh nothing,” replied Discord with a smile, “I was just going to give you and your friends your cutie marks tonight. I’ll even wake them up right now if you want.”

“And if I refuse?”

“They’ll still wake up in the morning, but who knows how long it will take you to earn your cutie marks otherwise. I daresay you would probably have years of fruitless crusading ahead of you.”

“What about Spike?” she asked suspiciously.

“Oh he’s fine. In fact, right now he’s about to make his dreams come true with a very special somepony.”

She chose to ignore this last part.

“Okay, fine. Just wake my friends up.”

Discord gave an insincere bow, snapped his fingers, and Scootaloo and Applebloom stirred just like Sweetie Belle hallucinated earlier. Discord took another sip of milk plus, smiled, and disappeared.

Zecora was panting. She normally didn’t have to run, and even Applejack or Rainbow Dash would have trouble running so fast for so long. She was at the very edge of the Everfree Forest. The question at hand was whether to go straight to the Apple’s farm or stop off in Ponyville to get help. She wanted to get to Applebloom as soon as possible, but she also might need some help keeping her still and calm.

Sweet Apple Acres was less than an hour away. Zecora decided that time was more important right now. She could always send Applejack off to town if they needed more help.

She just hoped against hope nopony had already done something they’d regret.

Spike was almost through the door. He was practically shaking with excitement. He couldn’t wait to hear Rarity’s beautiful voice again. He couldn’t wait to hear that voice tell him that she liked him. If he played his cards right, maybe he could suggest they play spin the bottle. What a wonderful night he’s had! He couldn’t wait to get back and tell Twilight about his first sleepover, but not before some alone time with his Rarity.

Whack!

He hit the door again. This time the door splintered almost in half. He smiled. He was tired, but he was almost there only a few more whacks. Rarity was going to be so impressed about how quickly he could get through her door. He would probably let slip a few hints as to how strong he was. After all, that’s why she ran up here right?

WHACK!

He finally burst a hole in the door big enough for him to fit through.

“Hey honey, I’m home!” he called before he started through.

The next thing he knew, he was hit hard on the back of the head, and he was out cold.

Big Macintosh saw Spike fall on the floor through the hole in the bottom of the door. He hesitantly walked up and pulled open the door.

Standing above Spike wielding her old walker was Granny Smith.

“Next time, tell your friends ta BE QUIET while I’m a takin’ my nap!” she protested sleepily before going back to bed.

Scootaloo was dumbfounded at how long she was out. She had thought that Rainbow Dash came by to take her to the Wonderbolts Academy with her. It was a pretty amazing hallucination, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized how unrealistic it was. Especially when Spitfire yelled at her and had her choke herself with the drill instructor's hoof. That was weird. She was a little ashamed, but hearing about all the things the other girls saw, she realized that they were all in it together.

“Man, our first clubhouse sleepover was really a doozy…” she lamented.

“Yeah, Ah guess Ah sort of messed up,” said Applebloom sadly.

“Girls, it’s okay. I mean, I guess it was a little fun. We just need something to take our mind off of everything. Hey Scootaloo, didn’t you say you had your own surprise tonight?”

“Oh yeah!”

Scootaloo’s eyes lit up. She dug through her saddlebag for the magazine she had gotten from Rainbow Dash’s bathroom. She dropped the slightly wrinkled magazine down in front of them.

“Um, Scootaloo?” Applebloom started, “What’s… this?”

She started turning the pages. In it were pictures of several mares either in sexually explicit position or flat out having
sex with other mares.

“Eww, Scootaloo!” declared Applebloom, pushing the magazine away from her, “You’re gross!”

“I don’t know,” interjected Sweetie, “I kind of like it. It kind of gives me a weird feeling. It’s… hard to explain.”

“I know, right!” said Scootaloo, smiling, “That’s how I felt, too! Come on, Applebloom. Just look at the pictures with us.”

Not wanting to be left out, Applebloom groaned and laid down next to Sweetie as the three fillies lay next to each other and read the dirty magazine. As they turned page after page, they all felt the feeling. And strongly. Scootaloo reached over and started rubbing Sweetie Belle’s fur.

Maybe the potion was still affecting them a little more than they thought. They blacked out, forgetting everything that transpired.

Big Macintosh had managed to put Spike to sleep in Applebloom’s bed. He was even nice enough to give him Smarty Pants to hold on to. Maybe it would remind him of Twilight and help him come to his senses. Exhausted by the time it was all over, Big Mac opened his ruined door and collapsed on his bed. He fell right to sleep.

Knock knock knock!

Big Mac shot right awake. Somepony was knocking on the front door. This was the last thing he needed tonight. What if there were more ponies affected by the crazies? He sneaked downstairs and slowly up to the front door. Whoever it was, he was going to take them by surprise.

In one smooth motion, he opened the door and pounced on the dimly lit intruder.

“Get off me, you dolt! I didn’t come to fight with a crazy colt!”

He recognized Zecora’s voice, but he kept her pinned to the ground. He was almost molested in his own bed by Spike. He wasn’t letting his guard down for anypony.

“Get off and listen, you buffoon! There might be trouble in store for Applebloom!”

Big Mac let her up, although still keeping an eye on her.

“What’s wrong with mah sister?”

“We don’t have time to waste. Lead the way and make haste!”

Worry for his sister overcoming his fear, he raced off into the apple fields, with Zecora close behind him.

As they approached the Cutie Mark Crusader’s clubhouse, they felt an air of ominousness from the sheer dark and quiet of it.

Big Mac and Zecora burst in the door, breathing heavily. Zecora walked over to the lamp hanging on the ceiling and turned it on. The three fillies were asleep, cuddling each other on the couch. They breathed a sigh of relief.
Zecora walked over to pull a blanket over them until she saw something that made her stop in her tracks.

“Is that…?” Zecora couldn’t finish her question, shocked as she was.

“Eeyup.”

The Day After

The Cutie Mark Crusaders pranced through the town of Ponyville. They had never been more excited in their entire lives. Last night’s potion had worn off, leaving no ill side effects. They hadn’t remembered what happened after Scootaloo and Applebloom awoke from their trances, but all in all, the night had been pretty amazing. Spotting Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in front of the ice cream shop, they decided now would be the perfect time to exact a little revenge boasting.

“Hey there, guys,” smiled Sweetie Belle, “Check it out!”

The three fillies aligned their flanks next to each other to give the best view possible. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon’s mouths dropped open.

“Yeah, purty nice, aren’t they?” chimed in Applebloom, “Ah bet ya never seen anypony with cutie marks like these before!”

The two fillies simply stood there, too shocked to say anything. The Cutie Mark Crusaders left them gloatfully.

“Wow, we really left them speechless!” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah. That'll show them. Do you girls realize that they can never make fun of our blank flanks ever again?” cried Sweetie Belle with glee as they walked down the street.

Everywhere they went, ponies stared at them. Some dropped what they were carrying, others crashed into things as they lost attention to where they were going. The Cutie Mark Crusaders couldn’t be prouder.

“Where are we goin’ next?” asked Applebloom.

“I want to show my sister! She’s going to be so proud!” squealed Sweetie Belle.

“No way, we’re going to Rainbow Dash’s!”

“But she lives all the way on the other side of town!”

“Girls, girls!” interjected Applebloom, “Let’s compromise. We should really go to Twilight’s and check up on Spike. We owe him for lettin’ him run off like that.”

The other fillies groaned. They hated when she was right like this. They trotted to the library and gently knocked on the door. In a few moments, Twilight opened the door.

“Oh hello. I suppose you’re here to see Spike?”

“Yeah,” responded Applebloom ashamedly. It was her, after all, that got Spike into the predicament he was in.

“Come on in girls,” she said leading them in, “After you’ve talked with Spike, we’re going to want to talk to you.”

“Talk to us? Who?”

“You’ll see in a little while. Go on up. Spike’s in bed.”

The girls went up the staircase to where Spike and Twilight slept. Spike was laying in Twilight’s bed with an ice bag on his head. He groaned, but when he looked over at them, he managed a small smile.

“Hey Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“Hey there, Spike,” replied Applebloom, “How’re ya doin’?”

“I’ve been better,” he replied as he sunk his head back onto the pillow, “You’re granny sure knows how to lay a hit, Applebloom.”

“Yeah, Ah guess she does. She is an Apple, after all.”

“So what happened after you left?” asked Scootaloo impatiently. She was tired of all this small talk. This is what they really wanted to know.

Spike blushed slightly, “Oh, that. I’m sure Big Macintosh can tell the story better than I could, but…”

“Big Mac? What?”

“Yeah. Anyway, all I can remember is going on a date with Rarity, but…”

“You went on a date with my sister!”

“Do you guys want to hear the story or what? I went on a date with Rarity, except I didn’t. I went down to the Bit & Bridle, except I didn’t. Then Rarity asked me to come to her bedroom, except that never happened. The next thing I know I’m waking up in somepony’s bed at the Apple farm with a huge headache. That was a doozy of a potion you got, Applebloom…”

“Yeah…” It was Applebloom’s turn to blush. They was an awkward moment of silence.

“Hey Spike,” suddenly cried Sweetie excitedly, sparing Applebloom, “Check it out! We finally got our cutie marks!”

They put them on display for Spike to behold. He studied them and gave a whoop.

“Great job, girls! But… what are they?”

“Mine is me eating the Discord’s trumpet flower,” said Applebloom, “My special talent is being able to handle strong potions!”

“And mine is a piece of fabric,” said Sweetie Belle, “I guess I did pretty good when I thought I was helping Rarity make that dress. I knew I was meant to be a fashion designer. I just knew it!”

“And mine is me wrestling with Sweetie!” said Scootaloo, slightly confused, “I don’t really remember doing that, but I guess it’s my special talent if it’s on my flank! I’m going to have to try it sometime!”

“That’s so cool!” replied Spike when they were all done, “But you still haven’t told me what you all did after I left.”

“Well…”

“Girls!” called Twilight from down the stairs, “We’d like a word with you please!”

They waved goodbye to Spike and headed down the stairs to the library. To their horror, not only was Twilight there, but so was Rarity, Big Macintosh, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Zecora. Collectively, the fillys’ hearts rose into their throats. They knew what was going on - they were about to get yelled at. And bad.

“Oh, Celestia…” cried Rarity as soon as Sweetie Belle had come into view, “It’s true. I didn’t want to believe it.”

“Bwah hah hah hah!” Rainbow Dash laughed.

Twilight and Big Macintosh looked embarrassed and ashamed. Fluttershy blushed and turned her head away from the fillies.

“Wow, girls! Congratulations!” Pinkie Pie said with glee and she leaped up, shaking each of the filly’s hooves in turn, “You finally got your cutie marks!”

As nervous as they were, the girls couldn’t help but smile in pride.

“Yeah, I guess they found their… ‘super special talent’!” choked out Rainbow Dash, falling on the floor and rolling around with laughter.

Pinkie joined in, more to be a part of the laughter than because she found Rainbow Dash funny.

“Rainbow Dash!” yelled Rarity angrily, “This is no laughing matter! Sweetie Belle is going to have that… mark on her for the rest of her life!”

“Now wait just a minute!” interjected Applebloom, stomping, “Sweetie’s proud of her cutie mark. She always wanted to be a fashion designer like her big sister. You shouldn’ be mad at her for that!”

“Applebloom?” asked Twilight curiously, “Don’t you remember when you got your cutie marks? You do know what they are, right?”

“Of course we do! Mine is a…”

“Think back, to last night when it was dark,” interrupted Zecora, “Can you remember exactly when you got your cutie mark?”

Applebloom stopped and thought, “No, Ah guess not.”

“Well this is all your fault, Big Macintosh,” accused Rarity, “You were supposed to be keeping an eye on them! For Celestia’s sake, what were you doing all that time?!”

Big Mac blushed, “Ah was just slurpin’ up some applejack when…”

“WHAT?!” cried everyone else in the room at once.

He blushed even harder, “No, you’re not getting’ me. I was drinkin’ and enjoying applejack…”

Fluttershy fainted.

Big Mac turned so hot blood started boiling in his cheeks, “Nevermind.”

"Applejack wasn't there, remember?" reminded Twilight.

“Well then what…”

“It doesn’t really matter,” interrupted Twilight, “The fact is, most of us are at fault here. Including you, Rainbow!”

Rainbow stopped laughing and looked up indignantly.

“How is it my fault!”

“You’re the one who left that, that… ponyography where little fillies could find it!” said Rarity, her cheeks red with anger.

“Ah, come on! They just picked up a two year old ‘Ponyboy’. Just be glad they didn’t go deeper into the stack than that!”

Rarity walked angrily toward Rainbow, her horn lit up with furious magic. Dash responded by putting up her front hooves.

“Oh, you want some of this!”

“Just wait until I…”

“Girls, please!” pleaded Twilight, “We still have to tell the fillies what their cutie marks are. We all owe them that!”

Rarity and Rainbow backed down, still eying each other angrily.

“What do you girls think your cutie marks are of?” asked Twilight.

“A flower!” cried Applebloom.

“A piece of fabric!” squeaked Sweetie.

“Wrestling!” whooped Scootaloo.

Rainbow Dash let out a choked snicker, trying with all she had not to laugh.

“Sweetie,” said Twilight kindly, “Your cutie mark isn’t a piece of fabric. It’s a flag. A rainbow flag. This means… uh… anyone?” she pleaded, embarrassed.

“It’s a rainbow because…” started Pinkie, but Rarity cut her off.

“I will explain to Sweetie Belle myself! It is my duty. Besides, I want her to learn about the birds and the bees the way a lady should,” interjected Rarity, glaring at Rainbow Dash.

“The birds and the bees?” questioned Sweetie. The other adults chose to ignore her, not wanted to become the target of Rarity’s wrath.

“Applebloom, you notice how you look like you’re about to lick that ‘flower’?” continued Twilight, “That’s because it’s not a flower. It looks a lot like a flower, but it’s actually…”

Rarity covered Sweetie Belle’s ears, “Later, please and thank you!”

“Ok…” Twilight said, her eyebrows raised, “And Scootaloo, you see how Sweetie Belle is on top of you?”

“Yeah?’

“If you look real closely at your cutie mark, you can see she’s not wrestling with you. If you look where her mouth is you can see what she’s doing. Last night, you and Sweetie Belle must have…”

Rarity put her hoof to her forehead, and dramatically fainted. She landed right on top of Fluttershy.

“It means you’re a bottom, Squirt!” cried Rainbow Dash, free to laugh again, “Hey guys, I just called her squirt! I made another joke and I didn’t even mean to! Man, I really should write a book someday.”

“Alright, forget it. Forget it!” screamed Twilight, “If you really want to know what your cutie marks are, ask somepony else!”

She stormed angrily out of the room, leaving an awkward silence. An awkward silence only Pinkie Pie could break.

“Oh, Sweetie Belle, Applebloom, by the way,” she said, “You really missed out. That red cupcake was delicious!”

Pinkie pulled a tray full of red and blue cupcakes out of nowhere and began eating them in a fury. The Cutie Mark Crusaders looked at each other, entirely bewildered, when a knock came at the door. After a second, Applejack, tired yet smiling, let herself in.

“Howdy everypony! What did Ah miss?”

Real Life Devil's Trumpet Stories

Author's Note

I was inspired to write this story by a random weed growing in my front flowerbed that doubles as a super-powered hallucinogen, known as the “devil’s trumpet”. Read about the crazy stuff people do on the real Discord’s Trumpet here –

http://www.erowid.org/experiences/subs/exp_Datura.shtml