The Many Adventures of Doctor Whooves and Fleur Dis Lee

by Super Trampoline

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Science Fiction, Fleur de Lis, Crossover, Doctor Whooves, Drama
Length: 3415

The Doctor's wife dies. Fleur's fiancé Fancypants calls off the wedding. They seek the services of Madamoiselle Pinkamina and Matching Feelings, two of the greatest matchmakers in Equestria. Shenanigans ensue.

(dis)Like what you read? Tell me why! ~Super

The Doctor's wife dies. Fleur's fiancé Fancypants calls off the wedding. They independently seek the services of Madamoiselle Pinkamina and Matching Feelings, two of the greatest matchmakers in Equestria. They set Whooves and Fleur up on a date. Shenanigans ensue. This is the story of those shenanigans.

A spin off of this. Has a midquel: Nothing Gold Can Stay. Occurs before and concurrent to this story: Sweetie Beltway.

I call her "Fleur Dis Lee" not "Fleur de Lis", as that is what she is officially called.

Cover image courtesy of Steel Soul. Go read his own Doctor/Fleur story!

On hiatus, but definitely not dead. I just don't know where i want to take the story line at the moment. I have a plan!

Published 2013-10-21 21:50:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-04-01 04:57:33 UTC

Prologue

This was never going to work. It was a horrible idea. Why did I even listen to Pinkie? This matchmaking business is all rubbish. The last lady paired me with a pear grower. A PEAR GROWER! I HATE pears!!! So what makes this "Mademoiselle Pinkamena" think she knows any better? I mean, yeah she seemed awful confident that we would be an "off kilter but charming match," but that's what the last one said too. Am I really that off kilter? I mean sure, I'm all timey-wimey, and I perhaps on past occasions have been known to wear celery, but am I really THAT wonky? Goodness me, I am! Now for Pete's sake, where is she? Is that her? Woah Nelly! I... wow. There's a mare.

So, another date, another jerk who probably just wants to get in my fur. I mean, that's been the pattern so far. But Matching Feelings was REALLY certain about this one, for sure --said we would have the time of our lives, and then just burst out laughing. Sigh. Who would have ever thought that I, Fleur Dis Lee, would stoop so low as to resort to a matchmaking service? Oh well, at least it was complementary for stallions, so I don't have to feel bad about fleecing whoever this guy is. Just try to have a good time Fleur. Maybe this one will be different. Maybe he'll look past my plot and to my personality. Maybe he'll... Oh my gosh, there he is. He looks familiar. Why? Could it be that... Nooooo. Impossible. Couldn't be, could it? Goddess, he sees me. He's smiling. I know that smile! But -but -but?!?... Well huh. Fleur grinned eagerly. This is going to be a most interesting date.

"Hello, you must be Time Turner."

"Yep yep, that I am miss. And you must be the exquisite Fleur Dis Lee I've heard so much about."

"Mmm. Good things I hope?"

"Well I don't know. That depends on how this date goes."

"Yep, It's you."

"Pardon?"

"It's you. I could spot your cheeky dialogue from a mile away. Or a decade and a half away as it were. Wow, you were right. huh. Quite fascinating."

"Miss Lee, I haven't the foggiest what you are rambling about. Are you ok?"

"Oh yes, I'm more than fine. It's just you're exactly how I remember you."

"We've met before? I'm sorry, I guess I get around a lot, meet a lot of ponies, but I really don't recall ever bumping into you. That's an interaction I doubt I would forget," he said with a wink.

"I'm sure you will remember, just not yet. After all, time travel can be a tricky business, eh Doctor?"

Time Turner's glass of water slipped from his hooves and shattered in his lap. He didn't notice.

"H-h-h-who t-told you to call me you th-that? N-nopony's supposed t-t-to know!"

Fleur smiled. "You did."

Author's Note

It begins!

Madam Pinkie: Matchmaker Extraordinaire

Madam Pinkie: Matchmaker Extraordinaire

"Time Turner, you do realize that Twilight and I are the only ponies who actually believe you, right? I, because I'm clinically insane (my dad had me declared as such five times as a child), and Twilight, because she has actually traveled both backwards in time and into another dimension. One which coincidentally had a lot of these humans you and Lyra speak of, though from her description, it sounds as if these weren't quite the same humans. But hey, I believe you, and that's good enough for me! So what's on your mind today Doctor? Want to know what somepony is going to get you as a birthday present, or how I really got my cutie mark, or where Rainbow Dash is ticklish? What can Madam Pinkie do for you?"

"Well Pinkie, I'm glad you asked. I heard recently that you added matchmaking to your list of services offered, and well... I'm afraid it's a service I'm in need of."

"Le Gasp! You heard about that? I'm just starting out, so I'm keeping it on the DL. You dig?"

Time Turner smiled. He needed to hang out with the bubbly mare more often. "Of course I understand Pinkie. But I will say, a rather dapper gentlestallion gave a quite enthusiastic appraisal of your business."

"Oh really, who was that, if I may ask? May I ask? Please say yes."

"I'd be happy to tell you Pinkie, but I myself asked him his name, and he would only say that 'Bow-ties are cool.' Nice guy, but seriously fashion-challenged."

"Ooooooooh, him!" she interjected. "Okay, that makes sense."

The Doctor was puzzled. "That rings a bell for you? Who was he?"

"Sorry Timey, I can't say. Spoilers!"

Time Turner winced, and for a moment looked every bit as world weary as an 800 year old alien ought to be.

Pinkie noticed. "Time, what's wrong?!? What did I say?"

"I'm sorry. That phrase just hit... a bit close to home, that's all."

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! But... which phrase was that? 'Sorry Timey'?"

"No no, the other one. The 'spoilers' one. It's not your fault. It's just something my wife seemed fond of saying."

"WHAT?!?!?" Pinkie somehow spasmed into the air. "You're married?!? What are you doing seeing me then? Marriage vows are like a pinkie promise, and NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE!!!!" She was in his face now.

"PINKIE! CALM DOWN! I'm not married! Well, I was, but..."

Just like that, Pinkie swung to the opposite side of the excitability spectrum. ".......oh. I see. That makes sense. I hate to pry (actually I love doing it) but, what happened?"

"Sigh... She handcuffed me to an exploding supercomputer."

Pinkie looked at him quizzically. "And that killed her?"

"It's complicated and... I'd rather not talk about it. Can we move on?"

Pinkie brightened up again. "Okie-dokie-lokie! So, you're looking for a kindred spirit, that's what you're saying? That's why you came to the ol' Pinkenator?"

"You are correct. I would like you to find me a companion."

Upon hearing the word "companion", Pinkie again settled into a confused state. "Speaking of companions, what about Ditzy Doo? You hang out with her all the time. Have you asked her to be your special somepony?"

"Nah, it's not like that. I love her to death, but not in that way. She's like a little sister to me. And I, like most ponies, have a policy of not dating my sister." He made a brief face at the thought of that.

"Oh ok! Makes sense to me!"

"Glad you understand. Soooo um, how does this work? Do I pay you now, or later, or....."

"Oh you silly filly! Matchmaking is free for stallions. Especially such hoofsome stallions like you, eh eh." She nudged him with an elbow.

"Free? Pinkie, that's unsound business."

"Nuh uh! We have a LOT more mares sign up than stallions. The more stallions we can get in the program, the happier everypony is. I know my finances Turner. I ain't CFO of Sugar Cube Corner for nuttin'."

Mom and pop bakeries have CFO's? Time Turner thought to himself. "Okay okay, I trust you Pinkie. Just, tell me what I need to do, and I'll get out your hair."

"You're not in my hair silly! You're sitting right next to me!"

The stallion facehoofed. "Figure of speech Pinkie. Figure of speech."

"Riiiiight. Anywho, normally I'd have you fill out a bunch of questionnaires and do an extensive interview thingie and all that ~~jazz~~ soft rock, but my pinkie sense tells me I already know a good match for you!"

"Your pinkie sense can predict a good match for me?" Time Turner questioned.

"Oh no, you're thinking of capitalized Pinkie Sense that predicts the future in vaguely specific ways. This is lowercase pinkie sense: my general knowledge of what makes a successful couple."

"Oh?"

"Anywaysies, my associate in Canterlot has a client who I think would interest you. I'll chat with her, and get back to you tomorrow."

"And that's it?"

"Yepperdoodles. That's it!"

"Okay. Well, thank you so much Pinkie. This means a lot to me."

"No problemo Time. A true true friend helps a friend in need, and Pinkie is a friend of everypony; ipso facto, I'd do the same for anypony."

Time Turner smiled as he got up and shook Pinkie's Hoof. "Hey Pinkie?"

"Yeah?"

"Promise me you'll never stop being your wonderful self."

"Of course. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cup cake in--" She was interupted by the sudden rapid twitching of her tail.

Time Turner's eyes grew huge, and he dived out of Pinkie's tent just in time to avoid a falling flowerpot.

"Huh," Pinkie said as she swept up the resulting mess. "Where do those come from anyway?"

Author's Note

Next Chapter: "Matching Feelings: This Old Mare Knows Her Matches".

Matching Feelings: This Old Dog Knows Her Tricks

Fleur was mad. No no no. That wouldn't do. Ladies didn't mad. They got flustered, incensed, sore, or cross, but never mad. And Fleur Dis Lee was a lady through and through, even if she didn't obsess over her status like most of the Canterlot elite (not to mention a certain Ponyvillian unicorn) did. At any rate, she was quite irate (but NOT mad) as she hurriedly trotted through the waiting room and into Lady Feelings' office.

"MaaaaatttcccHHHIINNNGGG! What the BUCK?!?!" she exclaimed as she shoved the door open. Inside, a very shocked Matching Feelings was consulting with a very surprised Prince Blueblood Solaris. "You set me up with a... --Oh, hi Blueblood. I see you've taken a break from bossing around peasants to try to find a mate. Might I recommend a certain Ponyvillian unicorn? Oh wait, I forgot, you were a huge ass to her. Nevermind.

Matching and Blueblood just sat there on their respective couches, mouths somewhat agape.

Finally, Matching spoke, her wrinkled features composed save for a slight eye tick. "Miss Lee, as you can clearly see, I am in the middle of a consultation here. What you just did is extremely rude. You should know better." She then turned to Blueblood. "That being said, Miss Lee reminded me, you and I are going to be having a long chat about your behavior at the Gala last year. Simply unacceptable." She again faced Fleur. "But seriously, unless there's a bomb threat on my office, whatever you have to say can wait. Please remove yourself from my vicinity. Now."

Fleur, now quite embarrassed by her outburst, slunk away back into the reception area. "Oops."

forty minutes later...

"Miss Fleur, what was that about?" Matching Feelings asked the thoroughly embarrassed mare sitting opposite her.

"Okay, I'm very, very sorry I burst in like that. That was extremely rude of me, and I appologize. But seriously. I'm pretty damned pissed --pardon my Prench. That lunch date you set me up on? GAHHH!! It was horrible! Horrible. I thought I told you to stop sending me pretty boys. All they ever do is make vapid empty conversation and then expect to fuck afterwards. This one was the worst. My whole meal was one huge innuendo after another. I have never heard so many horrible 'That's what she said' jokes in my life. Half of them didn't even make sense! What the buck Matching? What the buck? Do you screen these ponies? Do you?!?!"

Her rant over, Fleur snorted in frustration. Matching had listened politely, and then it was her turn to speak.

"I'm very sorry Fleur, I really am. But you know how hard this is. These stallions will say what ever they think I want to hear to get to meet you. Trust me, A lot of these fellows seem really nice in their background checks and interviews. But like most of the Canterlot elite, they're just putting on a show. And the fact that you only want extremely rich dates limits my options. Perhaps you should consider being a little less shallow?"

Fleur blushed. "I know, I know, I'm spoiled. My profession and my ex have treated me well. I'm used to the finer things in life. But still! Wouldn't lowering the bar to the middle class just make it worse? I don't want a bunch of pathetic gold diggers trying to schmooze me while they reach into my saddlebags. I'm sick of that. That's why I came to you Lady Feelings. Help me."

"Fleur, you've been exacting in your criteria. But let me ask you: what is it you really want in a stallion?"

Fleur paused to consider this. Then she answered firmly. "I want somepony who is real. I'm sick of the world of modeling and high society. It's so fake, so plastic. I want reality. I want authenticity. I want somepony who actually wants to live... sigh ... am I just dreaming Matching? Am I asking too much?"

"No, not at all." She smiled. "In fact, I think I know of somepony who may interest you. My apprentice in Ponyville sent me a letter regarding a very interesting stallion looking for a companion."

Fleur's interest was piqued. "Ponyville eh? It would be nice to visit there again. I need to catch up with a certain Ponyvillian unicorn. Go on, I'm listening."

"Tell me Fleur, do you feel adventurous?"

"I feel exhausted. Dating these blokes exhausts me. He better be good Matching. I'm paying you a beautiful bit for this."

"I make no promises regarding his goodness, but I guarantee this: he'll be real, and he'll be memorable. Trust me: this old mare still knows her tricks."

Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's the Dinner Scene

"I'm sure you will remember, just not yet. After all, time travel can be a tricky business, eh Doctor?"

Time Turner's glass of water slipped from his hooves and shattered in his lap. He didn't notice. "H-h-h-who t-told you to call me you th-that? N-nopony's supposed t-t-to know!"

Fleur smiled. "You did."

Now that threw him for a loop. No really. Time Turner just stared at her quizzically. Several minutes passed. A waitress awkwardly did her best to sweep the broken glass from in front of his crotch. Fleur ordered a martini and perused the menu. Nothing much else happened.

Eventually, Time Turner's face slowly grew into a smile. "Oh. I get it. I... get it! Oh brilliant. Oh brilliant you little scalawag you! Brilliant!"

Fleur responded with her own coy smile. "Sinking in Doctor?"

"I... Yes, yes it is actually. I... Wow, that really did throw me for a loop. Quite literally! A time loop! Oh ho, jolly! ...ahem. Sorry Miss Lee. I suppose this isn't the best impression. I, well..."

Fleur just tittered. "No it's quite alright. This is already the most enjoyable date I've been on in months, and it's hardly even been five minutes. But seriously, a time traveler? Well, that or you're named after your father. Actually, no, you specifically told me you were a shape shifting time traveler when I first met you... a long time ago. But really, are you? Please say yes!"

Time laughed. "Yes, yes I am. I usually don't tell ~~people~~ -ahem- ponies who I've just met but, well, I guess this isn't our first time meeting? I... feel the need to reintroduce myself." He stuck his hoof with several bits of glass embedded in it out as if to shake hooves. "I'm the doctor. And I must say that--"

"Uhhh, Doctor (and I'm going to call you that rather than Time Turner from now on.), you've got some glass in you. perhaps maybe you should go wash up?"

The doctor looked down at his barrel, then up at his hoof, and found that, yes indeed, several shards of glass had embedded themselves in his fur and, in a few cases, into his skin. "Ah yes, I probably ought fix that." With that, he promptly and oddly nonchalantly trotted off to the washroom to remove the intruders from his presence, leaving a thoroughly amused Fleur Dis Lee to ponder the most interesting turn her dating life had just taken.

When he returned, Fleur was munching on a salad which had unmysteriously appeared in front of her. "Ommf, Ah seeu yourth bach," she said, her mouth full. She chewed and swallowed, then took a sip of her second martini while her date sat himself back upon a fresh cushion, the one plastered with broken glass having been swapped out while he was gone.

"But seriously Doctor, you have soooooo much to tell me. I mean, a bona fide time traveller? Disguised as a clocksmith? It's just so, I don't know, refreshingly unpretentious and silly. You're just so silly! How can you be so silly?"

The doctor raised his eye brows. " First point: You're awful loopy for a girl who's had but one martini. I'm not as familiar with equine alcoholic tolerance as I am with that of humans, but still, you seem buzzed. Second point: how do you know I'm a clocksmith? Did future me tell you that too? Third point: You are... um, I forgot the third point. I'm sure it will come to me."

Fleur laughed. "Oh Doctor, you're a specimen. Of course I'm drunk. Or close anyways. Look, I'll tell you a secret. The guys I've been dating have been such tools, I've taken to drinking before hoof to make them that much less insufferable. Bad habbit I know."

"Expensive habit," the doctor muttered under his breath.

"And point two... what was point two? Oh yes, of course I know you're a clocksmith. You've lived in Ponyville for four years and a filly named Apple Bloom once harassed you with apples. Miss Matching Feelings briefed me before our date, like she does with every stallion I meet. What, are you telling me that you don't know who I am?" She leaned over conspiratorially as she asked him this.

"Well I know that you're Fleur Dis Lee. That's about all... Oh my apologies sir waiter. I'll have the... um... come back in five please? So sorry." The waiter shuffled off again. "Um, anyway, your name is about all Pinkie Pie told me."

Fleur lit up. "You've met Pinkie Pie?!? Oh my gosh! I love that chick. She be so cray cray!" Fleur made a cuckoo motion around her head with her hooves. "Seriously, there is so so so soooo much we need to talk about. But first dear, you should probably order. Food takes a while here."

"Ah yes, I should, huh. What are you getting?"

"Hungry!"

The doctor rolled his eyes. "I walked into that one didn't I?"

"Yes you did. Now order your food. I already did," she said as she took another bite of her apple pecan salad.

He perused the menu in front of him. "Ughh, so fancy. So expensive."

Fleur winced. "Hey, yeah, it's expensive, but it's good! Look, if you don't know what to get, go for the spinach pizza. It's pretty informal, and it's to die for. Trust me. Oh, and you should try the Fleurdeaux '89. Great sophisticated taste, for a sophisticated stallion, and I promise it's not just because I have a similar name."

The doctor just gave her a deadpan look. "Do I look sophisticated? Alright," he sighed, "Pizza and Fleurdeaux it will-- 127 bits?!?!? Fleur that's a day's wages! I can't afford that."

Fleur looked shocked. "Darling! Darling! It's on me. I'm paying. Sheesh, Pinkie Pie really didn't tell you much did she?"

"No, no she didn't," he admitted sheepishly.

"That's okay, it'll give us more to talk about."

"Okay, sounds like a plan." he replied. "So, um, what were we talking about? Oh, oh! Waiter, we're ready to order."

The waiter grumbled something about pushy patrons and trotted over to take their order. Then he took their order.

"Okay, Fleur. We do have much to talk about." He grinned a boyish grin. "And while I'm sure you're itching to ask me timey-whimey questions, apparently you already know a fair bit about me. So I get to ask first. Fleur Dis Lee, who are you?"

Fleur's chortled pleasantly. "Well..."

Author's Note

I like apple pecan salads because they have blue cheese, which I like, and don't have tomatoes, which I don't like.
And like, Fleur, when I go to the Cheesecake Factory (which I suspect this restaurant is similar to albeit fancier and more expensive), I always go for the pizza.