Just For Kicks

by DangerousBox

Rating: teen
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Pinkie Pie, Sex
Length: 1009

Scootaloo, desperate for money runs a "kick me" business. Diamond Tiara turns into her best customer.

Though shocked that Scootaloo is allowing others to kick her for money, Diamond Tiara quickly decides to become Scootaloo's greatest patron.

Published 2014-07-28 18:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-07-28 18:10:02 UTC

Diamond Tiara Kicks Scootaloo

To say Diamond Tiara was confused would be like saying Twilight Sparkle loved books. It was quite obvious. The reason for her confusion would be that Scootaloo was currently staring at her with big, wide eyes and a sign that read “Five bits per kick”.

It wasn’t long before confusion turned into excitement at the prospect of kicking Scootaloo. A grin slowly formed upon Diamond Tiara’s face as she took her purse out of her mane and put five bits into Scootaloo’s jar.

“I’m totally going to enjoy this,” Diamond Tiara said as she turned around and bucked Scootaloo as hard as she could in the face.

“Aaaargh!” Scootaloo cried out as she rubbed her now bleeding nose. “Did you really have to kick me that hard?!”

“Hey, you’re the one selling your body, not me!” Diamond Tiara said with a shrug. Reaching into her purse once again, she added another five bits into Scootaloo’s jar of masochism. “Now, where should I kick next?”

“If you’re asking for a suggestion, my posterior is quite popular as of late,” Scootaloo said as she turned around and lifted her flank into the air.

“That is a good idea!” Diamond Tiara said with a smile as she turned and quickly bucked Scootaloo in the flank, leaving hoofprints all over Scootaloo’s bum. “HA! Looks like somepony finally earned their cutie mark!”

Scootaloo glared at Diamond Tiara as she rubbed her flank pathetically. “Not funny,” she hissed as she briefly entertained the idea of buying ice.

Diamond Tiara, however, was not done with the abuse. Reaching into her purse once again, she fished out fifteen bits and put it all into Scootaloo’s jar.

“Uh, Diamond Tiara? It’s five bits per kick,” Scootaloo stated. “Y-you’re not seriously gonna kick me another three times, are you?” Scootaloo asked with a nervous gulp.

“What? Of course not!” Diamond Tiara said as if she were offended. “Trust me, this is the last time I’m kicking you,” Diamond Tiara said, causing Scootaloo to smile in relief.

“Oh, good. I gotta say your kicks hurt way more than Flutter-”

“Hey, Dorks!” Diamond Tiara called out to a nearby Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Come over here and help me kick Scootaloo!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie quickly trotted over with a smile adorning their faces.

“Alright! Ah was gonna kick her earlier, but ah didn’t get my allowance yet!” Apple Bloom said happily as she walked behind Scoots, getting into position. “Ah call the rear!”

“This sucks,” Sweetie complained. “I thought the sign said ‘kiss’, not ‘kick’,” Sweetie mumbled as she stood in front of Scootaloo. “Oh well, I’ll just have to make it as if Scoots was kissing my hooves roughly.”

“Great,” Diamond Tiara said as she placed a ladder on the side of a building and quickly climbed above. “You two kick her into the air, and I’ll drop from above with a skydive kick!”

“Got it!” the two crusaders said as they waggled their flanks in anticipation.

“Uh...I don’t like this idea,” Scootaloo said as she shivered in fear. Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes in annoyance.

“Would you do it for a Scooby snack?”

“No!” Scootaloo huffed in annoyance.

“How about two Scooby snacks?” Diamond Tiara offered with a grin.

Scootaloo scratched her chin in thought for a second or two, before nodding with a small smile. “I guess that’s worth it.” I’m totally going to get her, Scootaloo thought with a grin as her grand plan finally came to it’s conclusion.

“Great!” Diamond Tiara said with a smile. “Now, at the count of three!”

“One,” Apple Bloom began.

“Two,” Sweetie said as she lifted her hooves.

“THREE!” Diamond Tiara shouted as she leaped off of the building.

“Take this!” Sweetie and Apple Bloom shouted as they kicked Scootaloo into the air.

“Aaaaargggh!” Scootaloo shouted in pain. “I will not die here! Now die!” Scootaloo yelled as she quickly lifted her forehoof and went to punch Diamond Tiara.

“Falcon...PAAAAWWWNCH!” Diamond yelled as she evaded Scootaloo’s attack and slammed her hoof into the others face.

“Bwah!” Scootaloo screamed in pain as she erupted into a bright, yellow light that engulfed all of Equestria, killing everypony in existence.

As Diamond Tiara watched herself being engulfed into the light only one thought ran through her mind.

Totally worth it.

“And that’s why I have to have to foalnap, gag, and have sex with Diamond Tiara to save Equestria!” Pinkie Pie said as her slide show ended. “So, what do you think, Twilight?”

“...” Twilight gaped, unable to process the idiocy she just heard. After a minute or two of thinking Twilight finally figured out what she wanted to say. “Are you insane?!” Twilight yelled as she grabbed her friend by the mane. “You’re seriously plotting to rape a foal? What’s wrong with you?!”

“Ah ah ah!” Pinkie sang as she waggled her hoof in front of Twilight’s face. “First of all, she has a cutie mark, meaning she’s legal. Two, it’s not rape if there’s consent,” Pinkie said with a grin.

“...How would you get her to agree to do this?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, Twilight! If I can get Dashie to consent to eating nachos out of my...private area, I’m sure I can get Diamond Tiara to consent to this!” Pinkie said with a smile, causing Twilight to gag in disgust.

“Th-that’s…that’s…” Twilight shuddered. Eventually she rose from her seat and began walking away from the deranged pink mare. “Do whatever the *yay* you want, Pinkie.”

“Yay!” Pinkie Pie screamed as she threw her hooves into the air. “I’m gonna make that filly squeal like a piggy,” Pinkie said just before she finally ran out of the library. “Time to tap me some delicious rich ass!”

Some say after that fateful day Diamond Tiara went insane. Others say she got what she deserved. There was even a rumor that the whole incident never really happened. Diamond Tiara, on the other hoof, only had one thing to say about it:

“Eh, I had better.”

The end.