Beat Jugglin' Pervert

Beat Jugglin’ Pervert

A little marshmellow-white unicorn filly walked into the store. Vinyl Scratch, she was called. Around her, large shelves filled to the brim with cases containing the records of dozens of musical artists. Recently, it had been her birthday, quite an achievement indeed. Now standing at ten years old, she had been given a few coins to buy whatever her heart desired, and as such, she had gone to the nearest music store available.

As she walked through between the shelves, muttering to herself the names of each record, she finally found what she was looking for: a music record of ‘Noisy’, her favourite artist.

She focused, picking the record up with her magic. She examined it for a few seconds, grinning. Afterward, she turned around and rushed for the exit, where she dropped the exact amount of coins on the counter before heading out.

Eight years later…

Glaring lights, smoke, lasers, and pumping music. She couldn’t believe herself, no, it was too good to be true. For the first time in her life, Vinyl was standing right in front of the stage, and in the stage, was ‘Mighty Noisy’, mixing the music. It was invigorating to be able to be this close to him. True, he was a groundhog, thus much smaller than a pony, but an excellent DJ nonetheless, and quite a personality.

She continued to hoof-bump the air as the music continued to blast through the stage’s sound system. She was sweaty, yet cold due to the frigid air of winter, and completely messed up with glowing paint. She had acquired a set of purple shades, which did wonders to avoid herself from going blind due to the impressive light show.

She screamed at the top of her lungs out of pure excitement. “Best. Night. Ever!” The young mare continued to rock out to the music. But it suddenly cut off, including the light show. People from all around muttered in confusion, then a single spotlight turned on, lighting up the tiny figure of the Noisy Groundhog. Even better, he was on the edge of the stage, right in front of Vinyl.

“Now, please,” he spoke through a microphone, his voice deep, regardless of his physique. “I appreciate you all coming here, this is surely quite an exciting night, ain’t it?” The crowd cheered in agreement. “Now now, I have a preposition to make…” Vinyl’s ears perked up. The crowd fell silent.

“Lift your forelegs up if you’ve ever tried to DJ with your old grandpa’s record player!” he called out, more than half of the crowd, including Vinyl, lifted their legs up. “Hah! Believe it or not that’s how I started!” A few laughs were taken out of the crowd. “Now, be honest with me, who here wants to be a DJ?”

As soon as Noisy spurted out his question, Vinyl began jumping in place, yelling out, “Me! Me! Me!”

As well as dozens of others.

“Let’s see here…” Noisy muttered, voice amplified by the speakers. “You, the one with the purple shades!”

Vinyl almost dropped dead at that point. She couldn’t believe herself. Was Noisy actually talking to her? Just to be sure, she pointed at herself. “Yes, you!” Noisy called out. Vinyl was almost at the point of fainting.

“I can smell a musician from miles away! True, you’re probably not the only one here, but what gives. Come up onto the stage, little filly!”

Shakily, she climbed onto the stage, standing next to the little groundhog. “So, I saw you lift your hoof up when I asked about who wanted to be a DJ… Consider this your ticket, eh!”

“So, you have a stage name?” He held the microphone up for Vinyl. Shivering, she leaned down and spoke into it,

“S-Scratch Pervert!”

“Ah, what a wonderful name…” Noisy chuckled. The crowd giggled. “Now get to my deck, because you just got yourself into a beat juggle!”

Vinyl stood still as the crowd exploded into cheers. She could hardly believe herself, or anypony else for that matter. Without even thinking, she trotted up to the DJ deck, looking at the expectant crowd with watery eyes.

This was her moment.

Without hesitation, she grabbed a hold of the headset and placed it over her ears. She gave one of the two records a precautionary scratch, looking down at the two, seeing the name of the track she was going to be playing.

Noisy’s first hit: “Groundhog.”

Her mouth contorted into a smile; the track was very well known to her, as she had mixed the song several times on her own. But this? This was real-time.

Vinyl turned on the deck, and the music started. Well-timed beats and other synthetic sounds, together in harmony. She rocked her head back and forth as Noisy spoke into the microphone.

“So, you wanna be a DJ?” the groundhog asked, walking around the stage nonchalantly.

“It’s going to take an awful lot of practice!” he said as he turned to Vinyl.

She readied herself.

“Well let’s find out, shall we?”

On cue, she began to mix the track using the deck she was given. Nothing more, nothing less. She was juggling the beats as cleanly as she could, letting the fire inside her burn stronger. And as she stopped, she looked on at the groundhog, smiling to herself.

“Not bad, but let’s face it…” he chuckled.

“That was easy!”

Noisy turned to the crowd. “Why don’t we take this to the next level?”

Vinyl’s expression turned to one of surprise.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Without time to prepare, she began to juggle once more. This time, letting her musical instincts aid her just a little bit. As a result, the beat was faster and more contrived. The crowd continued to cheer in her side, even as she stopped and looked back up at the tiny groundhog.

“I have to concede, that was impressive!” he did a mock bow to her.

“I think it’s time I introduce you to a friend of mine…”

“Let’s call it ‘feedback’.”

“Show me see how clever you really are!” he called out, pointing at her.

Vinyl’s fire began to burn as bright as the sun itself.

“It’s time to sort out the mares, from the colts.”

Just as he finished, Vinyl began to juggle the beat again, this time letting letting everything flow.

“Wow...” said Noisy.

She grinned widely and continued on.

“Watch out!” he said as the beat continued to sound out.

“Wow!”

“Crumbs…” This time, the groundhog seemed genuinely impressed, a factor that further fired up the young mare as the juggled.

“Wow!” he called again.

“Watch out!” he said as the beat got even more contrived.

“Woah!”

“This is no time to cotch!”

She switched up the rhythm.

“Oh my goodness!”

“Brrap!”

“Cripes!”

“Brrap!”

Vinyl stopped, cold sweat running down her face as well as a trail of blood going down her snout. Her breathing was heavy, but she was still alive as ever.

“Well, it looks like we’re coming to the end.”

“So far so good,” Noisy said, a smirk on his face.

“But do you really have what it takes, to compete with the Mighty, Scratch Pervert?”

“This could be a step too far…”

For the last time she could muster, Vinyl went at it once more, putting all the effort she could into the juggling itself. Her instincts taking fully over, she just let everything flow. At that point, she was just having fun with it.

“Whimey!”

“You should quit…” the groundhog said.

“Comon, quit!”

“NEVER!” she yelled out.

“Sorry, am I putting you off?”

“Don’t fool up right now!”

Her eyes glimmering, she switched the rhythm once more, breaking out a beat so fast and tense that the entire crowd fell silent in pure awe.

“Ooh! That’s fast!”

“There’s really no point,” the groundhog muttered out in awe.

“I warned you…”

“Have I really met my match?”