Oh lucky day

by kingqball

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Human, Romance
Length: 2947

Human in equestria with no idea how he got there. non-ponyfied

Me + car =…dimensional travel?…What!?

ITS MAGIC I DON'T GOTTA EXPLAIN SHIT!!!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-19 06:06:16 UTC

What a pleasant surprise

It's my senior year the day before end of year exams, for some odd reason if I study the day before I do worse so i never study "Ok, i'm home from school and have nothing to do. And I don't have to go to work. What time is it, PONY TIME!" I said before taking a flying leap towards my desk. Like most bronies the first site I Went to was Equestria Daily to see any of the new pony news, then I hopped on to fimfiction.com. (does anyone else notice the new crack on the 4th wall?)

After about 6 hours or so my mom yells at me from the other room "You forgot to take out the trash again!". I yelled back "Ok, i'll go do it in a minute!" After i saved the fanfic I was working on I got up and grabbed the trash so i could bring it to the road.

After I put the trash out I saw that there was some mail in our mailbox across the street. I was already out there so I decided to go and grab it. Since it was around 8:30pm it was dark out, so i didn't see the car flying down the road at 50mph in a 25mph zone. He saw me and stopped just in time to not run me over...but not enough to stop me from getting hit and getting flung back, smashing my head open on the ground. Well that's what was supposed to happen, but instead I keep falling...and falling...and falling. I flipped around so I could see were I was going to land, which was near impossible considering the sun had already set, which seemed to be a lake. Since belly flops hurt, especially when falling form the sky, I flipped my self around so my feet would go in first...which still hurts like hell at that speed.

The first thing I did when I hit the water was to scream out in pain. As it turns out screaming under water just makes things worse. I swam as fast as I could towards the surface. Braking the surface I coughed up the water that had gotten inside my lungs, only to go under again. That went on for a minute or two before I am finally able to keep my head above water. It didn't take me long to get to shore, which I wish I didn't.

Now that the adrenaline, form me almost drowning, has worn off my legs now feel like I just got bucked by a horse and I could feel how cold it was. "Aaaaahhhh! Please tell me they're not broken!" I yelled in agony. I flopped onto my back, while i tried to figure out what to do. "Great, i'm stranded in a forest with, WAIT! My phone!" I checked my pockets...only to find nothing. "Damn it!" I said while slamming the back of my head into the ground.

A few seconds later I heard the sound of a branch breaking...only to get hit in the face with something. "Damn it! what the hell hit me?" I looked around to find what hit me in the face. What I found would've made me squee if I could. "Logic, your such an enigma. How my phone got in a tree i'll never know. now lets see if I have any...and nothing..." I shut it off as to save the battery. "Were to I go now...and now i'm gonna pass out." I said as I started to get up, only to get lightheaded. "Wait, why was I falling instead of smashing my head open?" Was the last thought to go through my head as I blacked out.

Upon opening my eye's I see that I am in a hut with no idea how I got there. I sit up to find that my legs don't hurt like they did before, but they're still a bit sore. "Were the hell am I and who's house is this?" I think to my self. Since no one was around at the moment I crouched walked towards the window as to not alert to anybody that I was awake.

       What I saw filled me with fear, confusion, and pure unadulterated bliss! I saw a cartoony looking Forest and a wolf made out of tree branches. The next thing I saw almost made me have a heart attack that would leave a permanent smile on my face that could rival the joker. It was a yellow Pegasus with a pink mane.

       "Please tell me I am not going insane. If I'm not what the flying fuck did twilight do to get me?" I thought to my self. My thoughts may be coherent but thats not what came out of my mouth. What came out was a incoherent babble that could easily be mistaken for an alien language. "wah da fwa cah ba dwe gah dah fwe sha?"

"The things it can do are a lot, but talk like me it can not." said something behind me, although it was not that hard to guess because of the rhyming.

I turned around to face none other than Zecora. "O HAI" I blurted out upon seeing my favorite zebra.

She had a look of surprise appear on her face when I said that, so I decided to keep talking to and see if I can't surprise her even more. "Sorry about my sudden out burst ma'dam" I said in my best dignitary voice "But I have some thing I must inquire you about. Was it you who brought me here?"

As soon as I said that she look at me with a even more surprised look on her face before shaking her head. "Yes, if it were not for me, alive you would not be."

I was about to run up and hug her but then I remembered that I saw Fluttershy leaving Zecora's. "Did you tell any others that I am here?" I asked her

She nodded, to which I just face-palmed. I turned my head to look out the window to see none other than Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. Twilight had spike on her back and was levitating lots of scrolls, quills, and ink. Pinkie on the other hand was pulling a cart full of science equipment, much like the ones that were used on Pinkie...and she did it while she was hopping up and down like she always does.

I gulped "Well fuck" I said. Now your asking 'Why is this a bad thing?'. well I have two reasons. First off, I have no idea what Twilight is gonna ask and, since I know i'm gonna slip up, if she asks about how I know them...I'm fucked. Secondly, I absolutely hate being hooked up to things. So I did the only thing that could get me out of there. I jumped out the window and ran off into the forest, leaving a confused zebra inside and two surprised ponies out side.

"What the hay was that?" said Twilight.

"That was the thingy Zecora found, and it ran off!" said Pinkie to Twi.

"We have to go after it" Twilight yelled

"Alright, lets do this" Pinkie said before standing on her hind legs and yelling "PPPPPIIIIIINNNNKKKKKIIIIIEEEEE!" she started running now "PPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!"

Twilight stood there thinking 'What the hay' before chasing after her.

(A/N: ........THE GAME!!!)

Can you hide from Pinkie?

        (A/N: why does it talk me so long to sit down long enough to finish a chapter?.... altogether i put... maybe 3 hours?)

As it turns out running around blindly in a monster infested forest is not a good idea. As of right now i have and enraged manticore....and I think I hear some timber wolves. Good thing I can run my ass off when I need to or I would best missing the back of my...back. As it is the back of my shirt is ripped to shreds.

       After running like that for what felt like a hour my legs felt like jelly. Good thing I found a cave or the manticore, now with timber wolve escorts, would have got me. I ran into the cave hoping that they would keep runing.

       They barrelled passed the cave with out even slowing down. I waited for a few minutes before getting out from the rock I was hiding behind and started to walk out. There was a branch just out side the entrance of the cave which,upon my stepping on it, made a loud crack. I stopped and turned around hoping that i didn't waking something...only to look straight at an ursa.

Two things went through my mind at that moment, 'Hey, this one looks like the one that attacked ponyville' and 'Oh shit, i am screwed'. I turned around slowly and then ran like hell out of the cave and the way I came.

As you would expect it followed me out, which just made me run faster. I had to duck and dodge tree's and their branches while it just went through them with out even slowing down. The adrenaline kept me going for a few minutes before my legs returned to there jelly form. Thankfully at that time I can see Pinkie and Twi running at me....and pinkie is yelling her name like Leroy.

Once they got close enough for me to hear them yelling were they skidded to a stop seconds later. Now, with me being me, I was confused but then I remembered ' oh yea, i'm being chased by an ursa'. They sat there just starring behind me, so as I was about to pass them I scooped them up in to my arms.

They were still looking behind me and not doing any thing, so I yelled at Twi. "Twilight get us out of here!"

"What!?" she yelled back.

"I said get us the buck out of here!"

Her horn started to glow a brilliant purple and after a few seconds there was a blinding flash of light...

AAHHHH, bright light

The bear shut it's eyes and turned away and when it turned back the only thing there was a small burn't crater.

awww...i just wanted to play... The bear thought as it sulked back to it's cave.

....and I land face first on the floor. "Ow!" I said with my face still on the floor.

Putting my hands to my face I pulled my self up. Rubbing my hands on my face I said "Why did i know that would happen...". Pulling my hands down my face I see that I now have pinkie and twilight staring at me.

"....I have a feeling that i'm gonna be answering lots of questions?"

Twilight just nodded while pinkie just went "Eeyup" which freaked me out a little since it was surprisingly close to...scratch that....you don't question pike pie.

I facepalmed "Great, what do you want to start with?" please don't ask about were I come form.

Pinkie was the first to answer "What are you?" ....shit?

"My species is called a human"

"Your a human!? I need to go find lyra!!!" Pinkie said before she disappeared in a puff of smoke.

I turned to Twilight "Hind me. Now." I said in a serious voice.

"Why?" she questioned me.

"I have a feeling if she finds me i'll be interrogated by her."

"What makes you say that?"

"Well she is ubsossed with humans and our hands" I retorted

"Wait, how do you know that" she said giving me a suspicious glare.

....fuck me and my big mouth. "I will explain everything after you hide me for her ok?"

"Fine" she said with a some what frustrated tone. "But if you don't i'll bring lyra."

"I just hope you can actually hide me from Pinkie"

"How did you..."

"Like I said" Interrupting her  "I'll tell you everything after you hide me from lyra"

She walked over to the trap door that led to her basement and said "Follow me"

I followed her down and hide were she told me to. Why am i not telling you where? Because if I do Pinkie Pie will break the fourth wall and know were to bring lyra.

How is this possible?

(A/N: writeing....why do you come so easy when i'm half asleep?)

Hiding spot? Check. Near impossible to find? check. Is that including Pinkie Pie?.....possibru. Can i fit in it with out having to be a contortionist? Hell no.

Don't you just love those little cuby holes in the back of a room made when you just shove a bunch of shit back there? The ones were, to fit in, you need to put your leg behind your head and dislocate your arm and wrap your other leg around your back? Yea i just love them. I just have one thing to say, if twilight says she will help you into a tight hole (you sick bastards) don't take it.

Although after sitting like this for a few hours it has gets oddly comfortable...anyway back to the plot. I've sat here for about 6 hours...maybe...it's hard to tell when you have no clock. Pinkie Pie got back with Lyra about 5 minutes after i finally got into the little hiding spot so some how i am just fucking lucky or Pinkie is just playing with me.

They kept searching for a few more hours, while my body fell asleep, before the finally gave up. Like you would expect Pinkie is now all sad that she can't find me and her mane goes pinkimeania flat, which i could see since i have a tiny little eye hole, and she starts to go all teary eyed.

The moment I saw this the only thought in my mind was 'NO!! pinkie is gonna cry! i need to go give her a hug!'. Just as i was about to roll out of my spot i stopped my self with another thought 'no, she just trying to trick me out. i can feel it'. it wasn't long after she started to tear up that she started to cry. I can't stand the sight of pinkie crying, ecpesially if i'm involved with the reason why. So, like you would expect, I rolled my self out of my spot and landed a few feet away.....along with a bunch of other crap that was piled around me.

The moment the thud of me hitting the ground was heard Pinkie popped right back to normal and she jumped for me.

"Found you!" She yelled.

"Human!" shouted Lyra from across the basement.

"Pinkie...you were trying to bait me out wren't you?" I asked her.

"Yes!" she exclaimed while nodding furiously.

Sighing i replied " That's what i thought." I faceplamed at my inability to resist a crying Pinkie Pie and added looking at Pinkie and Lyra, who was now starring at me intently "Just let me get up to the couch upstairs before you start asking me questions."

"Okie Dokie Lokie" said Pinkie Pie followed by Lyra with "YAY!"

I took my time up the steps so i could formulate good answer to some of the more 'hard to believe' questions. (you know what they are.)

I plopped down on the couch and said "Ok, who's going first?"

Twilight was about to say something but Pinkie interrupted her with "Do you like cup cakes? Or do you like muffins? *le gasp* I still need to throw a party for you! What your favorite color? What's your favorite flavor cake? And do you..." I stopped her by putting my hand over her mouth.

"Surprise me" I said

"Yay!" She said before disappearing in a puff of smoke most likely to sugarcube corner.

Twilight was about to ask something again but this time was interrupted by Lyra "What's it like to have hands?" she said in a giddy voice.

"Well...uh...I don't know how to explain it to some one who doesn't have hands. I don't have any experience with out them." I replied with a sheepish smile on my face.

Her massive smile that could rival Pinkie's suddenly became a frown.

Twilight, snatching the opportunity, asked "How do you know so much about us?"

"Well you girls are the ones that save equestria twice aren't you?" I said with a nervous smile on my face.

"I meant about us personally." She added.

"Well...uh...how do i put this....were i'm from we uh..." The best idea all of a sudden pops into my head " ...we have the ability to see in to other universes and we watch them as entertainment." Yea, that's plausible

"So your from another universe" she said starring at me suspiciously.

"uh...yea."

There was a long pause before she spoke "Great! i can't wait to tell the princess in my next letter!"

'Phew' i thought to my self 'she took that better than i thought.'

The door slams open and Pinkie comes flying at me.

After i catch her she says "The party is ready! I invited every pony!.....but i couldn't invite the readers" she put on a pouty face at the end on of it.

The rest of us went "What!?"

Before she could say anything though i said " Pinkie, I think they will be fine. lets just head out to sugarcube corner now."

(A/N: thank you Boolyboo for actually giving me the urge to write and not stop with an actual idea. i started writing this about 13 hours after your comment.  900 words but well i call that good for a single day of writing for me.)