Clopper in Ponyville

by sniggles

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Sex, Discord, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Main 6, Original Character
Length: 22264

Pinkie Pie shreds space and time to bring the very last hope against Discord, for all of Ponykind!

Stuart Dalton, a proud brony, is watching an episode of My little pony, until he is interrupted by Pinkie Pie who defies all laws of Physics by taking Stuart to Equestria, where he learns of Discord and the beast's new plans for Ponyville. Will he be able to work with the ponies, or become too distracted with his new friends? Rated mature and sex for graphic scenes and descriptions.

Published 2013-10-30 16:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-19 07:50:14 UTC

Chapter 1: PINKIE!

"Huff... Huff... Oh yeah that's the spot! OH YES DAT PONY FLANK! Oh yes Fluttershy, UH! UH!" In the throes of his orgasm, 30-year-old Stuart Dalton had no intention of making the whole process quiet as he rubbed his throbbing member repetitively with his right hand, eyes glued to the screen of his computer. He passed his hand over his spiky and short blond hair with his left hand, which abruptly shot down afterwards to clutch the rear of his My Little Pony soft toy pony, Flutttershy, with belligerence. On the computer screen was a paragraph of an erotic fanfiction story by the name of "The single best FlutterDash in the history of the Internet" and it didn't disappoint Dalton, who was on the precipice of unloading his seed. Dalton was quite the looker; beneath the black rimmed glasses he wore was a pristine, wide set face, accompanied by a set of gleaming blue eyes, a nose that was not too wide or narrow, and thin lips that framed a toothy, white smile as he grinned pervertedly at the "clopfic" he was masturbating to. He anticipated his climax, and with a swipe of his hand relocated his Fluttershy doll beneath the tip of his member and rubbed twice as hard.

"OHHHH FUCK YES!!" The scream shook his apartment as he came onto the innocent looking pony toy, his goo covering Fluttershy's half lidded eyes. The scene was watched by rows of soft toy ponies that gazed nonchalantly from their perch on his closet against the wall to his left. His desk with his computer was laid against one wall, his room windows were on his right, behind him was a well made bed with pony memorabilia e.g. a Rarity blanket, Twilight Sparkle bolster and pillow, and to his left was practically a pony toy paradise. With 5 shelves, each boasting a row of 10 ponies with fluffy manes, his bookshelf (cleared for making room for toy ponies) was his pride and joy; it was the fruits of 2 years of toy collecting and was the first thing he'd show off to visitors, brony or not. Not to mention, he'd keep his sex toys such as fleshlights on the same shelves, at times stuffing the heads of the ponies down the fleshlight slits, right after his own, rather short extension entered. In his closet he hid an impressive collection of My Little Pony related books, and a stack of paper containing works that he penned down himself; Stories when he was on the road, poems, or even song lyrics and guitar chords, which all pertained to My Little Pony. His guitar, leaning against his closet, was studded with fake blue diamonds and had stickers of My Little Pony characters pasted on it, most commonly Rarity the fashion pony.

At present, Dalton had a sheepish grin on his face as he quickly extracted a sheet of tissue paper from his trusty Twilight Sparkle tissue box, proceeding to dab Fluttershy's eyes of his load. A true freak of nature, even to fellow bronies, Stuart Dalton would masturbate, or clop, onto every single one of his soft toys. He called it his Sloppy Cloppy Time, and as a result of his diligent practice of clopping, his soft toys had fur much whiter than they were when he bought them, even Rarity's.

After he recovered from his high, Dalton went back to his computer and cancelled the clopfic page, and surfed Youtube, reaching for his Pinkie Pie soft toy. He was starting on a MLP video marathon, and for each episode, he'd pull out a pony soft toy that was a main character of the episode (not a wonder that Twilight Sparkle had the brightest coat of all his toy ponies). Then, he'd rub the pony against his Southern Stallion as he watched the episode, his clopfic corrupted mind inundating his mind with twisted scenarios as the episode played on. The episode he was tuned on to was Season 2, Episode 18, or A Friend In Deed. As "The Smile Song" came on, he started rubbing furiously as Pinkie walked around PonyVille spreading joy and kindness.

"Smiiiiiiiiile! Come on and Smiiiiiiile!" The song was nearing its end, and Dalton's upper row of teeth clenched his lower lip as his member's tip leaked out pre-ejaculatory fluid. However, the end never came, with Pinkie stuck at sustaining the word 'Smile'. Dalton cocked an eyebrow and shook the screen, suspecting that a crash occurred on the computer. He whacked the screen for a good minute, then resigned as he reached for the 'off' button, a scowl of disappointment on his face as he slid his softening wood back into its home, and begun to seal the entrance with a zip. Just before he flicked the switch off on his adventure of arousal, there was a cacophonous series of crashes, sounding very much like glass breaking, accompanied by cymbal crashes and vibrant drumming. Dalton, utterly consternated, fled into a corner of the room and cowered, embracing and rubbing his Pinkie Pie plushie on his semi-hard pecker.

"Hey friend! 'fraid we gotta skip the pleasantries, duty ca-- Hey is that a minie-me??? I've always WANTED a minie me!!! Gosh minie-me, your coat's a little white, don'tcha think? It's like rarity with my hair-do OH MY GOSH I've never tried to imagine tha-- AYYY!! Don't thug so hard, Twi! I know it's only got a few minutes, But I've met a minie-me and I really can--"

"P-Pinkie Pie?" Dalton stuttered, his jaw on the floor. Dalton couldn't fathom it; Of all fourth walls to break, Pinkie had to barge through his monitor. She had her hoofs splayed out in front of her like she was preparing to give a hug, and her entry left shards of glass on Dalton's desk and floor from the ruined monitor, and streamers were launched into every nook and cranny of his room. Party music was coming from a technicolour portal that Pinkie emerged from. A portal...

"Come on in, friend! Hee hee!" Dalton didn't need to be told twice, getting onto his legs and sprinting to his computer, in his excitement lacerating his bare feet with shards of glass and leaving his Pinkie Pie plushie back in his room. With a giggling Pinkie Pie at his side, he entered a world of colour, not so different from what one experiences in an LSD-induced mental journey. The look on his face was a mix of wonder and disbelief, like a child discovering his toys walking on their own accord on a random day; he was about to experience the magic of friendship, no doubt about that.

LELELELELEL

The experience was nothing short of nauseating; It was like being tossed into a churning sea of rocks, as Dalton experienced multiple forces punching at every inch of his body. He was grateful when his feet met the ground, though his thorax was devoid of reliable air to pant with, his legs were getting weak enough to give way and his mind was groggy. Dalton lost his composure and immediately flopped to the floor. He refused to open his fatigued eyes, and relied on his other senses to imagine what was going on. Vibrations resounded through the ground, short, brief ones which he guessed was the merry hop of Pinkie Pie. His ears were rendered temporarily deaf from the less than comfortable journey through the portal but they were recovering slowly, though he quickly wished they hadn't. The shrill voice of his pink companion steadily grew more audible as he picked himself off the floor.

"Oh hiiiiiiii Mr. Dee, welcome to PonyVille! You've been brought here against your will to do a heroic deed for us, doesn't that sound fun!! We're gonna rock and roll all night and party every day and party every night and rock and roll all day and party every roll and rock every day and night and roll and rock the night while partying the day!!" She led off an impeccably pronounced stream of words as she hopped a circle around Dalton, who was already on his feet. Then something came to his mind.

"You know my name?" Dalton gasped in a gruff baritone, his voice still quite hoarse from the beating in the portal. He rubbed and opened his battered eyelids and observed his surroundings; he was in a room, where branches hung from the ceiling and there were shelves of books on most of the corners of the room. A large circular machine with a technicolour swirl was present before him, most obviously the time machine. Or was it a dimension crossing machine?

"Hey Pinkie! Pick him up and let's go!" A stern voice came from the door on the corner behind him. Dalton suddenly felt a violent tug on his arm as Pinkie Pie's surprisingly strong grip ushered him towards the door. Dalton got a good look at Pinkie Pie; it was so surreal. Seeing a large eyed, pink pony awed him beyond words, but it wasn't her eyes he was looking at; he was scrutinizing the three balloons on a flawless flank. Despite his tumble in the portal, his drive and lust hadn't been knocked out of him just yet, as he licked his lips at the thought of smacking and entering that round, plump a--

"Welcome Stuart Dalton! I am Princess Celestia and these are my loyal subjects! This is a highly classified mission which we direly require you to undertake! If you six would so kindly introduce yourselves." The majestic white alicorn, who was the bringer of light for all of Equestria, was sitting before him, flanked (hehe, flank) by 6 smaller beings, the sisterhood of ponies known as the Mane Six, all of whom were staring at him with the most curious of dinnerplate eyes. Except for one, a yellow pegasus who immediately darted behind the other ponies at the sight of him. The ponies and Dalton were in a large circular room, with bookshelves everywhere and windows that were continuous with the circumference of the roof. This was too many things to fathom for his brony fanboy mind; it was any brony's dream come true, to discover that Equestria actually existed. And Dalton was the luckiest brony of all of them. Just as a cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane stepped forward, Dalton instinctively piped up.

"No need, Princess, I know all of your names," Dalton immediately regretted his words as he saw them as an act of defiance against the Princess, who had a great air of authority about her.

"Oh, we insist! Name's Rainbow Dash! Best flyer in all of Equestria and the most AWESOME pony you'll ever meet!" Celestia, with her mouth agape in preparation of responding to Dalton, was interrupted by Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash smiled and winked at the princess, and proceeded to fly up to Dalton to shake his hand (more of Dalton gripping her hoof). The hoof felt fuzzy and warm. Hehe, that's how I like them, Dalton thought in his twisted mind. Celestia's mouth broke into a smile, and tapped the purple unicorn on her left on the shoulder, who broke out of her reverie of inspecting Dalton.

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, owner of the library we're in. I'll be your guide around Equestria for the time you have with us!" Dalton looked around, and realized; this was Twilight Sparkle's treehouse! It was hard to identify initially, because things in this dimension had a rounder appearance, like a two dimensional portrait transformed into a three dimensional one. Twilight came over, a confident stride in her step and Dalton gingerly shook her hoof. A unicorn with brilliant white fur and stylishly arranged hair walked daintily up to him next.

"Rarity. And I must say, your lack of hair is nothing short of... amazing," commented Rarity, sarcasm conspicuous in her voice. This earned the glare of the other 5 ponies, but also the warm chuckle of Celestia as she sensed the hint of a smile on Dalton's lips. After Dalton shook her hoof, A blonde maned pony with an orange coat and a mane tied up in a pony tail and a Stetson hat sitting on her head strode up to Dalton, unfazed, as if she was addressing a friend.

"Howdy, mah name's Applejack, how'd ya do?" Applejack said in her Southern accent, which earned an unenthusiastic "great" from Dalton. Dalton was slowly warming up to the idea that he was in a different dimension, one with ponies and their hot flanks, teasing him as they were merely feet away, juicy prey which he could easily grab and--

"Um... um.... I'm F-F-Fluttershy. I like animals. Bye...." A pony with a creamy yellow coat addressed Dalton meekly and briefly, and had obviously been hiding behind the other five ponies for the whole ordeal. She proceeded to rush back to the company of the rest of the Mane Six, but before she could, another rush of instinct hit Dalton as he pounced forward and grabbed Fluttershy by the shoulder, eliciting a shrill squeak from the pony. The rest of the Mane Six looked with shock at his sudden action, as Dalton gulped in anxiety.

"Hey, we didn't shake er... hooves yet," Dalton said, his confidence rising. If there was any pony to make him feel confident, it was Fluttershy; everyone was confident compared to her. It was a quick shake, with Fluttershy looking away from him the whole while. It was enough though, to physically excite Dalton; Fluttershy was, in his opinion, the most arousing of the Mane Six, with a rising soldier between his legs rising to back that opinion up. His urges were rising to unprecedented levels as he stared at the leaving flank of Fluttershy.

"And IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'm PINKIE PIE!" Pinkie Pie leapt out from behind Princess Celestia, streamers accompanying her introduction, as she hopped rapidly, almost violently, to Dalton. She had obviously held that anticipation for a long time, silent as she patiently waited for the other ponies, unbridling it at her introduction, very much like the fire starting in his pants, which was reaching a fever pitch that was slowly but surely bringing him out the dark. His thoughts blocked out the torrent of words she was saying, but were rapidly erased by a violent hoofshake.

"YAY! A NEW FRIEND!" Pinkie Pie was elated, and leapt back into position beside Princess Celestia; Twilight smiled and shook her head in mock disapproval, a glint of humor present in her eyes. The glint in Dalton's eyes, however, was not that of humor but that of greed, of a longing, as he gazed into DAT PINK A--

Princess Celestia brought Dalton back to reality with a light cough as she started speaking.

"Dalton, the whole of Ponykind and Equestria are in need of your assistance. We needed to transfer a being of high intellect to our world to find a way to finish Discord off once and for all. To fill you in, Discord had started a campaign of terror a week ago, to bring Equestria into chaos, as you will be able to see in a few moments."

"Wait a minute," Dalton piped up, uncertain about the situation, "Didn't Fluttershy make Discord realize the value of friendship?" He remembered that episode, not because it was highly significant in the series as it proved that any creature, no matter how malignant they may be, can be taught friendship, but because of the mountain of tissues he piled beside him as he milked his snake to Fluttershy and her hot, sweet pony rear. Back to Twilight's library, Fluttershy cowered behind Princess Celestia, and started to lightly sob. Celestia turned around and bent down to meet eye to eye with her.

"There, there child. It wasn't your fault that this happened; sometimes, some tigers never change their stripes, as is the way of some ponies." Celestia warmly reassured Fluttershy and the sobbing died down; The warmth of her voice was truly a light in dark places. Which Dalton didn't take note of, of course, as he was concerned about a certain dark place hidden within his trousers, as his hands slowly reached into his pockets to pleasure himself through them.

"Look closely now, I shall give you a visual look into what Discord has done to PonyVille now." Dalton snapped out of his lusty trance and relocated his hands to his sides.

Dalton was observing Pinkie and Rainbow Dash clopping (clapping) their hooves together in some sort of game, while Rarity was whispering to an attentively listening Applejack, casting furtive glances ever so often in Dalton's direction. Twilight, being the faithful student she was, listened to Celestia's every word intensively. Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen, probably hiding in some corner of the room.

Celestia bowed her head down and an effulgence was emitted from the tip of her horn. A sheet of brilliant glass-like magic formed in front of her, and a moving image was projected onto it, sparkling, as if Dalton was looking through a waterfall. In the vision, Dalton could see PonyVille, a red sky hanging above it, with clouds absent. Ponies were being escorted by walking inanimate objects, such as carts or even farming tools, into toilet sheds. A 20-foot tall Discord was storming around PonyVille, grinding houses to dust and extracting their former inhabitants and casted possession curses on them, which had a zombie-like effect on their actions. Dalton observed the scene nonchalantly; Of all things, Discord had to zombify PonyVille? He had to admit, for a god of chaos, Discord wasn't creative. As the vision ceased, Dalton turned to the ponies and said coolly,"So what do I need to do?"

The ponies, expecting fear in his tone, were taken aback by his confidence.

"Woah! No fear in the face of certain doom. I like that. We could get along! Being daredevils and all," Rainbow Dash quipped, with a wink to Dalton; From that single wink alone, the man experienced a revolution in his pants and struggled to quell it. Celestia cleared her throat, bringing Dalton back to Earth, or rather, Equestria.

"You are here to satisfy Discord's demands; He wishes to meet a powerful being, any being, from another dimension that is game to challenge his wits. As much as we would like to refrain from playing into Discord's games, this time it is inevitable. Discord, through his trickery, has re converted my sister Luna into Nightmare Moon and has zombified her as well. She guards the Elements of Harmony; It would be unwise to challenge my sister and take the elements by force. Furthermore, the citizens of PonyVille cannot function properly under duress of Discord's reign."

Then, Celestia bent her forelegs, tipping her muzzle and raising her rear in the process. For the first time, Dalton's lusty pupils fell on Celestia's flank; DANG was it large.

"Will you.... participate in Discord's challenge, for the sake of saving all of pony kind?" The Mane Six were in a similar position, front pointing down, ass up, and eyes full of hope raised to meet his. What he would give to be at the back of the ponies in such a vulnerable position, to punish their raised behinds with unmatched enthusiasm, as a prize for saving all of PonyVille. This clouded his judgement, being unaware that he was about to face a GOD. Of Chaos to top it off. But his reasoning lay solely in his pants, his ever so reliable nether soldier that would not rise for breasts or vag of human but only for flank and slit of pony. Only one sentence escaped his lips.

"Yes, I will."

Author's Note

Not exactly clop, but pretty freaky all the same. Please provide constructive criticism in the comments! There is much more in store for Stuart Dalton in the future. This is only chapter 1 so do expect more of this in the future. LELELEL

Chapter 2: Discord.

"What.. is this?" Stuart Dalton gasped as he left the library, escorted by his newfound companions, the Mane Six. The scene he saw in the vision was an exact copy of what happened above and around him; a red sky, and far in the distance, across the dying brown grass and plants, was PonyVille, with fires erupting from houses. Celestia stayed in the library to research on magic that potentially could defeat Discord; she added that she had full trust of her little ponies and Dalton. Oh, if she could read minds, leaving the ponies alone with the human was the worst possible thing on a normal day, with Dalton's mind active with clopfic material. But this wasn't a normal day.

"It's been like this for three days, Mr. Dalton. I relocated the library to the outskirts of town, where Fluttershy's cottage once stood," said the purple unicorn Twilight sombrely, "The Princess and I set up an invisibility shield, which is another reason why she is staying back." Twilight finished the sentence with a tinge of guilt in her voice; she obviously didn't feel right leaving her mentor's side, when Discord was still around. At the very mention of her name, Fluttershy cowered behind Pinkie Pie, the latter of whom nudged her in the head with a hoof for reassurance. This scene reminded Dalton of a FlutterPie fanfic he read where they nudged their muzzles together and, for some reason or another, ended up having hot intercourse in front of the Cutie Mark Crusaders in Rarity's Boutique.

As they walked towards PonyVille, which seemed like a 10 minute journey, the Mane Six filled him in on details, such as how Pinkie Pie took him from Earth to Equestria, (turns out, the only pony capable of surviving interdimensional travelling was Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash, the latter of which required the performance of a sonic rainboom to survive it, so it was decided Pinkie should go) how Discord's reign begun yet again with his return, how each of them escaped Discord and how Princess Luna was corrupted to the dark side. The Mane Six took to the matter really painfully, even Pinkie Pie; they revealed the details with desperation clinging to their voices, and had apparently suffered much from the ordeal. For once, Dalton felt guilt and pity enter his mind slowly, but surely. Ha, who the hell am I kidding, his pants looked like a tent as he made no effort to hide his stimulated wood, the excitement of being so near his potential playthings egging it on further. Their words bounced off Dalton's ears, with the imaginary screams that roamed his head as thoughts of clopfics transcended his mind, deafening him.

"Hey, do you need to check that out, Mr. Dee?" Pinkie Pie asked Dalton a question just as Rainbow Dash was about to finish her account of how she escaped Discord. Pinkie Pie's baby blue eyes were magnetised to that 'tent' Dalton pitched and he gave a gasp of surprise. The other ponies were now suddenly drawn to it as well, curiosity in their eyes.

"Um, it's, um... my tail, we humans have tails in the front, which get really tall when we're fearful and that's my story and I'm sticking to it," said Dalton, immediately wishing he'd take back those words; he was a horrible liar, maybe even worse than Applejack.

"Okie-Dokie-Lokie!" Pinkie Pie broke the tense 5 seconds of silence that followed and the other ponies accepted it, continuing their trek over several hills to PonyVille. Dalton heaved a sigh of relief as his member started to soften. Once in the town, they passed ruined houses, with the protection of an invisibility spell by Twilight to evade detection by Discord. It didn't help that the ponies had to huddle close to Dalton; that only served to fuel his unclean imagination further. The man and the ponies observed other ponies trudging around town, many of them having lolled out tongues and derpy eyes. It seemed that most of them were carrying supplies to Discord, some of them dismantling their own houses to carry wooden planks and metal nails towards the heart of the town. At Sugarcube corner, Mr and Mrs Cake were dragging a cart each, and in each of them was a voluminous cake called the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness.

"Oh.... my.... gosh," Pinkie Pie's mouth was a waterfall of saliva, and her eyes scrutinized the cakes with longing. The other ponies stopped and admired the cakes too; they had only had the privilege of eating one of these cakes, or MMMMs as Pinkie Pie called them. The ponies looked like they were going to explode from hunger; from what Dalton could faintly recall from the ponies' tales on their trek to PonyVille, food was scarce in the library. As for Dalton, his southern birdie was about to explode from a different feeling all together, as pony fur rubbed against his thighs, and the warmth from the ponies transferred onto him. Just then, a voice boomed from the centre of the town.

"Oh, please Twilight, that spell is so kindergarten. I wouldn't call myself a God if I couldn't see through that, my little pony."

Dalton felt air rush against his ears and heard a *fwoosh* sound very much like that of a vacuum cleaner in 'suck' mode or whatever that mode was called, and found himself lying on the floor the next moment, near six squealing ponies. He opened his eyes, looked up to the skies and saw, that he was just a poor boy who needed no sympathy as he saw the imposing figure of a 20-foot Discord, an amalgam of animal body parts that called itself the God of Chaos, in front of the remains of the town hall (it was without its original dome, and had boarded up windows). Dalton tried hard to suppress his fear; he'd imagine scoffing in the face of Discord, from the seemingly harmless light he is portrayed in for the television series, and it seemed that his predicted impression was far from the real thing. For the first time in his journey here to Equestria, adrenaline fueled his fear, not his lust. Discord's lizard-like muzzle erupted into a grin as his eyes fell on Dalton.

"The blond, naked one is to be your saviour? Oh my, the Princess is quite desperate." Discord smirked as he took a bite out of an MMMM, from a zombiefied Mrs Cake who was apparently teleported here too. Dalton suddenly became self conscious and looked at himself. Whew, still got my trousers on, Discord's just saying nonsense. If Discord weren't here, he wouldn't have minded being bare. In the town square, the Mane Six were already active and on their hooves, all eyeing Discord with stares of animosity. Zombie ponies started to trot up from houses and some dropped what they were carrying to Discord and proceeded to surround the Mane Six and Dalton.

"Ahhh yes, and there is Fluttershy, my old pal. Come to say hi?" The pink maned pony cowered and let out an *eep* sound. Dalton saw this and his heart began to rise with a mix of pity and indignation; such a beautiful creature like Fluttershy did not deserve to be stepped on by the likes of Discord. The beast continued,"I cannot genuinely believe that all of you were so gullible to believe that I had given up chaos reaping for something as petty as.... euch... friendship."

"Yes, this human is our saviour, and he is a brave soul willing to save another race from evil like yours!" Rarity shouted up to Discord, for once standing up for Dalton. She obviously was still suspicious about Dalton, as she had proven in their first meeting. Or was it the clashing colors of his green trousers and pink T-shirt that gave her the bad impression?

"Hmmph. Well I do suppose I can make time in my schedule for a little fun. Busy week, you know?" Discord laughed mirthfully, "Well, crossing dimensions must have been pretty hard, so I'll make it worth your effort. A little game of wits shall be arranged for, though all present know, deep down, who the winner shall be. Please, zomponies, stand down, all of you are frightening the guests!" At this, the zombie ponies reverted to their original tasks.

Dalton was now on his feet, reinvigorated by the support of his comrades. He spat at Discord, saying, "Give it your best shot, fuckface."

This wiped the grin off Discord's mouth as he cocked an eyebrow and scowled. "You called me... a what now?"

Dalton's words obviously confused Discord, but the reaction was logical. Beings in Equestria obviously didn't know about profanity, and Dalton's theory was proven right as the Mane Six carried similar confused looks on their faces at the word, fuckface.

Discord wiped the confused look off his face and his red pupils spoke of mischief yet again. "Well, no matter. You and I came here for a challenge and we shall have one. And just for the fun of it, I'll add your little friends to the mixture to spice things up. And before we get into it per se, I'd like to set down a catch to the challenge. You lose, you stay in PonyVille forever and become my mindless subordinate. Doesn't that sound fun? Oh, and the Mane Six here will have something.. special in store for them. Don't want to let out any spoilers now, would I?"

The Mane Six were no less belligerent in their stance after hearing Discord's words, but a growing air of tension was immediately recognizable by Dalton. He attempted to break it with his next sentence.

"And if I win?" Dalton spoke each word with a dose of venom, his resolve unfaltering as he yearned for the downfall of this troll.

"Well. If, and a large IF at that, you emerge as victor, I shall have to stop my campaign of terror, right all of the wrongs that I have done here, and sell my soul to Princess Celestia," quipped Discord, brimming with confidence, "Then it's settled. I choose the games, you have to play."

Before Dalton could protest, Discord snapped his fingers and the world before him evaporated for the second time that day, as he was trust into another journey.

LELELELELEL

Dalton's rump landed on a cold metal chair, his head throbbing and his entire body aching all over. It was a similar experience as to that of his journey to Equestria from Earth. As his vision was restored, he could see that his surroundings were darkness, but in front of him lay a television screen attached to a box, which was thrust into a spotlight. Across from him and at the other end of the box was another metal chair that faced him. Murmuring behind him belonged to the Mane Six, if his ears did not fail him. Just then, a familiar, deplorable voice reverberated across the walls of the room he was in, and blinding radiance shone around the room (which was more like an enclosed coliseum with a stage in the middle, supporting Dalton and the box) as spotlights dashed across the place. Discord had shrunk himself down to about half of his original size, but was still imposing. The beast settled himself down on the metal chair across Dalton.

"Fillies and Gentlecolts! Welcome to My Little Questionnaire, where a very lucky creature is here to challenge my wits. Give it up for, er... what's your name again?"

"Eat a cock, mofo," Dalton cussed, struggling to stand up; it seemed like an invisible force was pinning him on the chair.

"Eata Cockmofo! Now, I shall present 20 questions, simple enough, and getting them all right is your ticket to victory. Getting one wrong is a one-way kick back to Earth while the ponies here become my subjects! Are you game?" Discord smiled, and the truth weighed down upon Dalton; if he did not win against Discord, the Mane Six would surely be captured; they were lucky the last time, but now that they were together and under the watchful eye of Discord, chances of escape were slim. Dalton merely nodded to Discord's question.

"Good! Let the games begin!" This earned the unenthusiastic applause of zombie ponies, whom Dalton just noticed, which were lining the steps of the Coliseum. The Mane Six were directly behind him, looking up to him with eyes which shone with hope and desperation; Fluttershy's stare could have melted a million hearts. He knew, it was now or never.

"First Question." The television screen in front of Dalton turned on and five boxes appeared, four equally large boxes at the bottom of the screen and a larger box at the top, which housed the question. The options would appear in the four boxes.

"What is the name of Rarity's dress shop?"

Dalton heard a hiss behind him, "It's a boutique, that cur!"

"A. Fashion Disaster. B. Opal's Scratching Post. C. Carousal Bouti--"

"C! Final answer." Dalton interrupted Discord, eager to get this nonsense over with.

"Oh! Naughty, naughty Mr. Cockmofo, interruption will not go unpunished!" At this point, Dalton didn't bother correcting Discord's erroneous take on his name; He'd rather have a false name for Discord to make fun of than his real one.

"As a result, question 1 is deemed as void. Next question!" Discord smiled gleefully as a look of utter despair was sketched onto the ponies' and Dalton's faces.

"That's not fair!" An irate Rainbow Dash was clearly not amused at this development. Apparently, the Mane Six were under a similar trapping spell, so they were not able to move from their positions on the coliseum step; Rainbow Dash fluttered her wings furiously but helplessly.

"Nothing in life is fair dearie, haw-haw-haw. Now, a new question 1," Discord giggled as he read this next one,"Oh this is easy. What is Twilight Sparkle's name in binary code?"

What the fuck? This was the thought that crossed Dalton's mind as he processed the question. The hell's binary code?

"A.01010000011010010110111001101011011010010110010100100000010100000110100101100101 B. 01100110011101010110001101101011001000000111100101101111011101010010000001100011011101010110111001110100 C. 011001000110111101101110011101000111010001110010011000010110111001110011011011000110000101110100011001010110110101100101 or D. 01010100011101110110100101101100011010010110011101101000011101000010000001010011011100000110000101110010011010110110110001100101."

Dalton was utterly consternated. He only recalled binary as a bunch of 1s and 0s he heard about from the net and what was now presented before him was nothing short of foreign. Computers weren't his thing; the only use of the internet to him was to pleasure himself to ponies. He was utterly at a loss, and looked behind him to the Mane Six for reassurance.

"Looks like our contestant is really not in tip top form! What a pity! Come on folks! look lively for Mr. Cockmofo!" Monotonous clopping came from the zomponies, which only served to unnerve Dalton. Then, something in his brain snapped and Dalton's lips twitched violently. His hand, guided only by instinct, snaked their way into his trousers, bypassing his underpants. A violent swipe of his hand forced his pants off and exposed his Southern Stallion for all to see; something in his clopfic corrupted mind told him that this was the only way. The Mane Six expressed confusion in their faces and dialogue as they could not see Dalton's pecker due to the metal chair blocking the view.

"Lookie here folks! This creature's got a secret weapon... a limb of sorts?" Discord was genuinely perplexed by Dalton's move. The absence of horror on his face told Dalton that Discord probably had never seen or known about a cock his whole life. Heh, some God. For an entity which was a collection of animal parts, you'd think he'd have something to replace that space between his legs.

Dalton proceeded to run his hand up and down his shaft, feeling his veins throbbing as he aimed his extension skywards. He ignored Discord's snide remarks and thought of his Mane Six friends, their flawless flanks and perfect plots as he continued his assault on his nethers. The thrill of being watched by so many ponies and the relief that his Mane Six friends couldn't see what was going on egged him on further as he relentlessly rubbed, with the plots of clopfics running through his mind, of tales of BDSM and mindless rutting. Then, he felt the surge in excitement; he was about to release.

"Ahhhh!!!!!!" Dalton's cry was heard throughout the enclosed Coliseum as he blew his spunk skywards, with some of the stuff landing on the television screen. Dalton, physically and mentally spent, looked at the screen; most of it landed on the bottom right box, or option D. Discord now had a look of horror on his face; a creature with a limb that spewed white fluid was obviously unheard of by him.

"Option D! Final answer." Dalton said with finality, seemingly proud of his achievements. Dalton issued a satisfied smile at Discord. The man was quite sure that he would get it wrong, but the high from his relief he felt from his Sloppy Cloppy Time made him forget about his anxiety and worry towards the plight at hand.

Without a word, Discord keyed in the answer. This was followed by 20 seconds of silent suspense; as Dalton's high wore off, he was starting to doubt his answering technique. His sword still lay steely and rigid, in his hands, unsheathed and exposed.

"It's correct! One question down for our... runny contestant." Disgust was slathered on Discord's voice as he spoke this. Holy crap, Dalton made the God of Chaos feel this way! The human was proud of his achievements and thought that he deserved a medal.

"However did you do that?" Discord was quite doubtful of Dalton's 'technique' and smelled a rat. And seafood as Dalton's seed started making more smells.

"It just came to me," Dalton said, a cocky grin plastered on his face as he looked at Discord cock his eyebrow. "Well, anyway the wind blows i guess. Kinda guides my load to the answer, quite literally if you ask me."

The next eighteen questions were a blur; there were three or four questions with obvious answers, and about three more that required a little intuition to find out. The rest were insanely difficult questions which were rather bombastic. One of them demanded that Dalton find out the number of pixels that formed Rarity in minute 6:03 of the episode, The Sisterhooves Social. For such questions, he resumed his routine of answering; he'd load up his gun and fire after five minutes worth of effort. Somehow, the strain on Dalton wasn't as high as it was during his normal clop sessions; after about three times on average, he'd normally be spent. It could have been the abundance of his fetish, ponies, in the room or his determination to save his friends. And it was a great motivation to hear the Mane Six cheer for him; a 'yay' from his favorite yellow coated pony was enough to get his libido standing yet again.

"Now the last question, and this is nothing short of killer," Discord said this as he sniffed the air; there was revulsion in his voice as he smelt raw octopus. Dalton didn't bother cleaning up his load and it's decomposition left a rather unsettling after odour.

"How many bags of luggage did Sweetie Belle have to cart over to the campsite in the episode 'Sleepless in PonyVille'?" At this, there was furious murmuring from the Mane Six, particularly Rarity, who was the sister of the filly Sweetie Belle. Dalton knew that the Mane Six wouldn't dare cheat after Discord pulled off his stunt at the very first question from a mere interruption.

"A. Nineteen. B. Twenty. C. Twenty-one. or D. A hundred." Discord's muzzle broke into a smile; surely the human didn't have anything left in his fifth limb by now. This trickery was beyond Discord's comprehension, but he decided to allow it anyway; after all, it couldn't be magical, as he knew this creature was from a world of mechanical and technological advancement, devoid of magic.

"It's B, final answer," said Dalton with a grin.

"WHAT?!! How in Equestria do you know this?!" Discord was flabbergasted; this thing could not be anything less than a magician.

"Some bronies are diligent, you know," Dalton said triumphantly, looking at his fingernails in typical Discord fashion.

Discord was fuming. This wasn't how he predicted it to end.

"So? Keying B in or what?" Dalton said, beside himself in anticipation. The Mane Six were cheering louder than ever, and Dalton was so confident that he let his alpha male return to its den.

"I said... only if you win... but not keying in the answer means YOU CAN'T WIN!" Discord started laughing maniacally and a Chesire Cat smile graced his lips, and he snapped his fingers. With a poof, the Coliseum disappeared and all of the ponies fell 50 feet from the air down to PonyVille below, towards certain doom.

LELELELELEL

When Dalton came back to consciousness, he was back on the ground, with Rainbow Dash laying him upon the ground; obviously, the daredevil pegasus saved them all from death. He looked up to the skies yet again and saw a terrible sight: a 40-foot Discord, with a full set of fangs (instead of his usual single fag) adorning his jaws and also having several foot long biceps and a six pac that looked like a pony could be crushed if it was placed between them. The zomponies were nowhere to be seen.

"FACE ME MR. COCKMOFO AND BE ANNIHILATED!" Discord was not happy.

Just then, a gigantic foot descended upon the Mane Six and Dalton with great speed.

Dalton braced for death but found himself yet again on solid ground; he was now on the rooftops of one of PonyVille's houses. Twilight Sparkle had cast a teleportation spell, which relocated the group to the top of a cottage. Discord was around 10 blocks further away but reaching the group was only a matter of strides for the beast.

"Quick! Do an enlargement spell or something!" Dalton thought only to face the Spirit of Chaos head on, to finish him off once and for all. Twilight nodded her head but her scowl said something else; she was uncertain of her abilities, probably because she rarely did such spells. Dalton remembered in The Cutie Mark Chronicles when Twilight inadvertently, under influence of a Rainboom, increased a newborn baby dragon's size to several stories high. All he was thinking about at that time was how Twilight could increase the dragon beneath his legs with her seductive purple plot. Now, she was going to do it, and this time to his entire body.

Discord, which had sensed the ponies teleport away, strode with haste towards the cottage where they lay, totally vulnerable to Discord's wrath. With a maniacal grin, he curled his fist and leapt into the air, about to bring it down upon the cottage.

*WOK!*

Discord flew through the air but in a direction opposite that of his intention, having been hit by a surprisingly large force. As he flew backwards, he tilted his head towards the cottage: what he saw amazed him. A 40-foot Dalton, completely naked and now adorned with rippling biceps and a solid six pac, was staring Discord in the eye with utter vehemence. His blonde hair became substantially larger. (if you have trouble remembering this, think of Super Saiyan)

"Ready to rumble, Discord?" Dalton said, with amusement in his voice. Discord's countenance contorted into a frown, and the beast's wings flapped and carried him towards Dalton with lightning speed. Dalton anticipated a punch and held out an open fist but was met with an unorthodox move; Discord flew up and slapped the human across his face with his tail. With a grunt, Dalton took two steps back and reeled from the pain, in the process leveling a cottage. The Mane Six were on the ground, protected by a force field set up by Twilight, and cheering on his efforts against Discord.

Discord landed back on the ground in front of Dalton and attempted to land an uppercut on Dalton's head but his arm was grabbed by the human, who proceeded to drag the rest of the beast onto the ground. For extra measure, Dalton slammed a foot down on Discord's exposed stomach, and the spirit of chaos writhed under it in agony. However, Discord was not to be outdone as he used his legs to buck Dalton off, sending him to the other side of PonyVille, in the process breaking through at least 10 cottages, with his body finally landing in the side of Sugarcube Corner.

"Nggh.... Twilight!" Dalton called for the purple unicorn's name, and almost immediately, she appeared right next to his slumped figure with a *pop* sound. The giant whispered words to Twilight, and the unicorn nodded furiously in response. Dalton got an idea, inspired by his... imaginative mind as he heard Discord from the other end of town hurling insults at him.

"What's the matter, creature? Out for the count? Eata Cockmofo, this isn't how I imagined the hero of PonyVille would go down, haha," yelled Discord. The monster was bracing for yet another charge at Dalton, fists clenched and legs bent for take off. With a warcry, Discord advanced yet again, but saw the human ingest and swallow a large white object. Whatever could that be, thought Discord, as he reached out his palm to grab Dalton's face.

The palm grabbed something different altogether; it was long, rigid and caked with sweat. It.... can't be, thought Discord as he slowly directed his eyes downwards. It was the human's fifth limb, and it was stiff as a rod and was half the height of the human, and was as broad as a cottage. The white object must have been a supplement to engorge it. In his confusion, Discord softened his grip on the member and back away, giving Dalton leverage to slip out and use his tallywhacker as a club, bashing Discord's face into a nearby cottage.

"Viagra's a bitch isn't it? I keep several in my wallet at all times." Dalton smirked, patting himself on the back for his idea to give his wallet to Twilight for safekeeping before transformation. Apparently, under the influence of magic, the viagra's effects were multiplied and came faster.

"Arggh! Time to DIE!! YOU'RE JUST A PUNY THING TO ME, WHAT CAN YOU DO AGAINST A GOD?!" Discord was beyond furious; the greatest threat to him was a puny creature from another world, and could do all of this without the Elements of Harmony. Discord channeled his rage into his next charge, aiming for the human's fifth limb.

"That's not something you should--" Dalton started, as Discord attempted to rip the fifth limb off, digging his manticore-like claws into it. But his attempts at pulling it off were rewarded with something else entirely, as it served as further stimulation to Dalton's already heightened libido.

*SPLOOSH*

A jet of molten and white hot 'lava' spurted into Discord's mouth, with none of it spilling out. Discord stepped back in pain, as the liquid burned inside of his stomach and made breathing difficult as it clogged up his trachea. The god fell on his back and closed his eyes, heaving deep breaths as he struggled to survive from the deadly blow from Dalton. Discord shrunk back to his 10-foot tall self and spewed out vomit and did so in voluminous amounts, drenching the ground around him in his discharge mixed with semen. Discord had to stomach the original volume of Dalton's spunk at his normal level, and every second of his existence was true agony.

Dalton reverted back to his original form too, and though his strength was nearly sapped from him from experiencing 15 orgasms that day, he still found some to trudge over to Discord. His pacs and muscular biceps were gone, replaced with his originally thin frame and hunching back.

"Accept... defeat," Dalton was unnerved by the sight and smell of all of the puke surrounding him, and was threatening to vomit too. Dalton's manhood was bleeding for the first time, from the lacerations given to him by Discord, and it was in the worst pain he had ever experienced, increasing as bloodflow from the Viagra still kept strong.

Discord could find no other alternative; his magic was only effective when his mind was clear but right now unbearable pain filled his chest and throat, throwing him off his magical balance. No teleporting away, no more tricks were to be expected from him.

"Y-yes.." A gurgled response came from Discord as he coughed more of Dalton's seed out. Dalton was exhausted too, and collapsed to the ground.

Yet again, the world turned black for our hero.

Author's Note

Oh my gosh, this has really been something for me. This is probably the most fucked up shit I've done in my life. I do apologize if there are any noticeable typos or errors, I will rectify them in the future when I have a clearer mind. Anywho, do provide positive feedback and constructive criticism after reading, if you can!

P.S This series is heavily influenced by the likes of SpeedoSausage (creator of clopping.mov on Youtube) and Hotdiggedydemon (creator of Pony.mov on Youtube and Ask Jappleack on Tumblr)

Chapter 3: Ponyville and Her Wonders

Screeching in the head. A growing pain in between his legs, pulsing in a synchronized fashion with his heartbeat. The murmuring of friends. A sea of comfort that he sank into as his head nestled further within a pillow. A beeping noise.

"He's AWAKE!!" A familiar voice erupted as Stuart Dalton's eyelids shifted only a millimeter. This caused his eyelids to instantaneously force open, taking in a blaring amount of light into his pupils.

"Pinkie! Shut up..." An irritated, rough voice told Pinkie Pie off, which Dalton recognized as Rainbow Dash's. As Dalton's mind cleared, he observed the ponies gathered around the rim of a bed he was resting on; The Mane Six were there, with three flanking the left side and the other three flanking the right, while at the front were three fillies looking at Dalton with the most curious of eyes, a white coated unicorn with a curly, purple striped white mane, a yellow coated earth pony with a red, round mane, and a brown coated pegasus with a spiky purple mane. They smiled widely as Dalton blinked and stared at them, familiar fillies in his memory; but his groggy state couldn't place a finger on who they were.

"We're the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" The fillies said in unison, making an imaginary hand in Dalton's mind to snap, while he thought, ohhhh. The other ponies became either silent or talked amongst themselves to let the fillies address Dalton.

"We wanna thank ya fer savin' PonyVille and all," said the yellow earth pony, Applebloom, "And we're givin' ya somethin' special from each of us."

A gift..? On the tray in front of him was a cup of prismatic liquid. Dalton was too lethargic to say even a word of thanks, his muscles aching all over and his nethers feeling as if he urinated out a boulder. Size increasing magic apparently had a toll on his body. Or maybe it was the magical Viagra?

"It's Zap apple cider. Really hard ta' make, but the Apple family decided ta' make a cup fer ya!" Applebloom beamed and hugged her sister, Applejack, who received it warmly.

"It takes a couple days ta' make one of em bad boys! The jam's a lot easier. Furthermore, ya were lucky that ya arrived durin' Zap apple season," Applejack tipped her hat, "sugarcube."

At the word 'sugarcube', Dalton started hardening with arousal, but this only initiated waves of pain which caused him to grunt. Then a thought hit him.

"A few... days?"

"Yea, you were knocked out for a week," informed a nurse pony (OMG THAT FLANK *CLENCHES LOWER LIP*) who just entered from the hospital door in front of his bed, "And don't expect yourself to be walking about for the next few days. We're not entirely sure how your body works, but the symptoms that were present initially show little signs of dying down."

"Oh..." Dalton wasn't that worried about his condition; it was bearable. He needed to make up for lost time in PonyVille, precious minutes that could have been spent groping hot, sweet pony ass, like the one that belonged to his favorite yellow pegasus at the left side of his bed, having a meek smile, one eye hidden behind her flowing pink mane. Oh sweet Celestia, he could just take that pony in bed right now and--

"HEY! Mr. Dalton! Equestria to Mr. Dee!" The two other fillies called his name, the white coated one being Sweetie Belle and the orange coated one being Scootaloo. Dalton shook his head vigorously and brought his attention to the fillies at hand.

"We didn't really know what to give you so we made this poem and this card. Oh yeah, and Sweetie Belle..." Scootaloo trotted over to Dalton's side and placed a card on his tray beside the cup of cider. Scootaloo knocked Sweetie Belle at her side and the unicorn jumped, clearing her throat afterwards. On the front it said: Thanks so much for saving PonyVille! with copious amounts of glitter decorating it and a golden background included. It's frame was adorned with a curly border. The insides had the same characteristics, but had a drawing in red of a crude looking Discord and another illustration in yellow of a humanoid, likely representing Dalton. There were words there too.

Through rain or shine PonyVille will be fine
So long as Stu Dalton, true and kind
Stays in Equestria, and is always near,
Destroying evil and kicking its rear!

Sweetie Belle sung out the words, and Dalton surprised himself as he felt wetness below his left eye; What a voice to behold! Dalton rarely found himself emotional, but the plethora of thoughts that his mind processed were overwhelming. And also his vulnerability right now caused him to shed any toughness in his facade he had initially. A journey, from his Sloppy Cloppy Time to here, in PonyVille, kicking Discord's ass (or shooting him, whichever you choose) and earning the praise of ponies, his sexual fetish. Dalton felt gratitude wash over him, and found the strength to speak.

"T-Thank you all..." Dalton rasped, but was cut off by Twilight Sparkle.

"Rest now. You'll have enough words to talk about when you address the whole of PonyVille tomorrow! If that's alright with you," Twilight cheerfully assured him as Dalton gave a swift nod. Out of the corner of his eye, Dalton could see Rainbow Dash slumped up against the hospital room wall, crossing her hooves while Rarity was whispering to Applejack. Pinkie Pie looked like she was about to explode from severe lack of noise in the room while Fluttershy was leaning on the bed rails and staring at Dalton.

"OH YES! Mr. Dee, once you're a-okay, WE'RE THROWING A CELEBRATION PARTEH!!!" Pinkie Pie screamed, blowing a party horn while placing a party hat on Dalton's head, which seemed to fit perfectly. "We're going to have lots and lots and lots and lots of FUN!! We're gonna get sick with cake and cupcakes, we're gonna sing and dance till our hooves get sore and.. and... and.."

*ACHOOO!!!*

Pinkie Pie erupted and flew through the ceiling of the hospital room, and disappeared, leaving rubble and debris in her wake.

"Nah. Don't worry. She'll be back," Rainbow Dash told the others as looks of concern and confusion were on everypony's face. "Oh yeah, my gift. Uh.... It's one of a kind, so yeah, take care of it."

Rainbow Dash produced a roll of paper, and unfolded it revealed a Wonderbolts poster.

"Don't. Mis. Place. It. Got it? It was a now-or-never thing on the day I bought it," Rainbow Dash said, with a jab of a hoof at every word. Dalton nodded quickly, reluctant to face her wrath.

"Oh please, Rainbow Dash. You've practically a wallpaper of those Wonderbolts," Rarity scoffed, earning a glare from the cyan pegasus, "Yes, and I do have a gift but regrettably it's waiting in the Boutique. I made measurements of every inch of your body, though I ignored.... your stallionhood."

Rarity finished her sentence slowly and the rest of the Mane Six were staring at Dalton now. Oh crap, they've found out, thought Dalton, They'd surely reject my friendship now. Of course, Dalton had fought Discord off with his pecker! All of them saw the white fluid that spewed out of it and associated that with the privates of stallions on Equestria, which did just that when aroused. But Dalton observed the ponies; they weren't looking at him angrily but had furious blushes on their faces, even Rarity, and their gazes were directed to Dalton's nether region. Ho, yes, just like in the clopfics, Dalton thought mischievously, it starts with the blushing. The Cutie Mark Crusaders were looking at the Mane Six in confusion; thankfully they did not get their 'Birds and the Bees' talk yet. Dalton was still reluctant to bring his sword out since it caused momentous pain when he tried, but his brain and his desires told him that he needed it. It was like the ponies were teasing him with their stares, and it was torturous indeed.

Fluttershy broke the silence, her face still a shade of deep magenta.

"Me and my animal friends made you this crown of flowers, if that's alright with you," She said happily with closed eyes, and produced a decorative crown of stable branches on which was adorned several flowers of a spectrum of colors. "Don't worry, it's not prickly."

It seemed that Fluttershy finally grew confident in his company, as she was stuttering way less. Dalton observed the flower crown placed down at the night stand beside the bed and thought crazily, Flowers eh? I'm gonna have fun eating out your flower Fluttershy. Mmm yes, it's gonna taste like cinnamon buns and mixed fruit, and my bad boy is gonna be parting those folds of yours ever so slowly, and you're gonna squeal in utter delight and ecstasy, since you like em big, you like em chun--

"Mr. Dalton! Twilight here," Twilight snapped, then softly smiled. "I have a gift too."

Dalton rolled his eyes. A book.

"A book!" Twilight grinned from ear to ear. "This was a limited edition at the Equestrian Book Convention last year. It's about Starswirl the Bearded and the history of magic, and Equestria itself, told only in a thousand pages! Isn't that short?"

With her telekinesis, Twilight lifted a brick-thick book and laid it down gently at Dalton's nightstand. Dalton didn't enjoy history very much and loathed reading such a book; from the rolling eyes of the ponies around him, it seemed they shared similar sentiments.

Just then, the hot pony nurse from earlier barged in and called for everypony to clear the room and leave Dalton be. Dalton suddenly realized that he was the only patient in the ward. Twilight called from the door as she left.

"We'll leave you here now. Rest up!"

Dalton sighed as the ponies filed out of the room. It was going to be a long day to get through; from the sky outside, it seemed to be about noon. He couldn't wait to experiment what pony arousal juice tasted like, but being tied down to a bed like this, he wouldn't expect such a thing to occur anytime soon. I want it NOW, thought Dalton, as he slowly drifted back to sleep, to a realm of aroused ponies and rule 34 scenes.

LELELELELEL

Dalton awoke to the music of birds as he creaked his eyelids open. It was a splendorous night that he had; his bedsheets were soaking with his load due to his sinful dream of him rutting Fluttershy in mindless bliss, with the yellow pony demanding him to fuck her twenty percent harder. His manhood had seemed to become better overnight; maybe all it needed was a good climax. His thoughts became clearer now; he realized that the ponies had, somewhat expressed a curiosity or maybe even interest when they scrutinized his privates. This meant that he had a chance to have consensual experiences, and those would be the most thrilling, indeed.

Dalton stretched his hand out to his nightstand, finding his fingers clench over the mug of cool Zap Apple cider that still lay there. The man immediately brought the drink to his lips and took a sip. Hmm, not bad. It was like apple juice just that there was way more fizz in there and another addicting bittersweet substance in there that he couldn't place his finger on. He gulped down the rest of the cider, spreading warmth throughout his body and sobering him up; it was going to be a good day. He was going to score some ponies and, proudly, lose his virginity with a pony, hopefully one of the Mane Six.

The man jumped off his bed and looked down on himself; it was a poorly done garment for him. It looked like the product of several hospital clothes stitched together. No doubt Rarity would faint if her eyes ever set on that thing... Speaking of clothes, Dalton wondered when he would get new ones. After all, his first set was ripped off when he changed into a giant version of himself. Maybe Rarity stitched him a new set; maybe that was the present Rarity wanted Dalton to have.

Just then, a loud *thump* sound was heard behind Dalton and he wheeled backwards to see what happened. Pinkie Pie, with a disheveled mane, had landed on the ground through the hole in the ceiling and was rubbing her head with a hoof. Dalton tried his best to escape from the room, but by the time his hand grasped the doorknob, it was too late; with a deft motion, Pinkie Pie grabbed Dalton, and threw him into a party cannon, carting him out of the hospital at breakneck speed.

"I had this really weird dream last night as I was hanging upside down with the bats in the hospital roof, yeah I rocketed myself all the way up through 20 storeys into the hospital roof, can you believe that?! Anyways I befriended some of the resident bat ponies who were up there and I could stand upside down with them and I told them all about PonyVille and you and how you totally kicked Discord's plot and saved ALL OF PONYVILLE!! So had this dream that we were having a party and we made this super spicy punch for you and you drank it and FREAKED OUT! You had to go the stallion's room and wash up but the water wasn't enough so you went to the mare's room and tried, which was FUN-NEH! Isn't it weird though that you went into both bathrooms since the drainage system practically supplies the same water? So anyway we called you over and got you to drink this cooler drink and in fact it was actually the same punch from before HAHAHA!! You can guess how that turned out, you were wolfing down all the cakes at the party as if your life depended on it! My dream ended when you puked out all of the cake into my face, I mean, what's up with that? Of all faces to puke on why choose mine, HAHA! After that I lost balance of my perch on the hospital roof and fell 20 storeys back to the ground, sustaining no serious injuries in my body whatsoever!"

Dalton felt the cannon stop, and he peeked outside, discovering that he was wheeled to the front of Sugarcube Corner. The streets of PonyVille were quiet after Pinkie stopped her ramble, and a chilld wind gusted through the town. He remembered it was November and wondered whether Earth time was consistent with Equestria time. Pinkie kicked the cannon and it burst through the door, to a brilliant sight.

"THANK YOU MR. DEE!!!!" It seemed like nearly all of the people in town were here at Sugarcube Corner, to host a party for celebrating Dalton's triumph over Discord. Dalton's mouth was agape as he saw streamers fly around the place, and the sounds of party horns resounded through the building. On tables were mountainous cakes and bowls of punch, and on their edges were tied helium balloons. The Mane Six, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and even the two Princesses, Celestia and Luna were present, and an atmosphere of festivity and happiness crackled in the air as all cried out in celebration.

"Three cheers for our saviour! Hip hip hooray!" Pinkie Pie shouted, earning the participation of all of the ponies in the building. The ponies picked him up on their hooves and carried him over to a space in front of the princesses, to his surprise. As always, Celestia had a mellow look on her face, with a warm smile gracing it; Luna, on the other hand, was eyeing Dalton with great interest. They need to do a little explaining, thought Dalton.

"We haven't told you the whole story yet," Celestia said, as if she read Dalton's mind. The ponies in Sugarcube Corner fell into a hush, giving the princess the silence that was needed to tell her story. Celestia cleared her throat, and started on her account of things.

"After you defeated Discord, Twilight and I were worried that he might retaliate yet again after he came to consciousness. However, he was entirely complying to our demands, turning all of the ponies back to their normal state and righting his chaos, freeing my sister Luna here. Fact is, Discord pleaded to be imprisoned in stone yet again, saying something about having to swallow... lava?"

At this, Dalton chuckled a little.

"Afterwards, Luna surrendered the Elements of Harmony and the Mane Six were able to seal him in stone, coming to a consensus that Discord is not able to change his ways. Since then, PonyVille has been going under repair by our ponies; Discord had seemed to have forgotten to repair all of the damage his chaos caused in the town. Now we, as ponies of Equestria and citizens of PonyVille," said Celestia, bowing her head down to Dalton, "ask of you only one favor, to stay another week in PonyVille and preside over the rebuilding of PonyVille. Furthermore, your wish is my command; ask for anything, and it shall be yours."

Now all of the ponies in the room were on bended knee, bowing to Dalton in respect. Dalton rubbed his hands in glee: oh yes, it's time for the real fun to start... Like Discord, it seemed that Dalton didn't change his ways. He addressed the crowd in full confidence.

"My first wish..." The ponies leaned forward, staring at Dalton, "is for the party to get started!"

"AWWWW YEAH BASS CANNON!!!" a voice boomed from the back of the building and intense house music reflected off the walls. Vinyl Scratch head banged and the silence was thankfully broken, with all of the ponies loosening up and going about the party. Pinkie Pie started having a cake eating contest with the little fillies, earning a disapproving shake from Mr. Cake. Rarity had fainted, possibly from Dalton's clothes, and was carted out in a party cannon. Applejack, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were talking amongst themselves while Celestia and Twilight trotted up to Dalton, possibly wanting to inquire him about something. Then, a frosting bearded Pinkie Pie shot up, cutting in front of Celestia and Twilight.

"Hey! Know how to play any musical instruments?!" Pinkie Pie asked, "Cuz when I went to your place, I saw this really cool guitar you had!!" Dalton shifted nervously, and looked behind the pink pony for help from Twilight and Celestia; he wanted to avoid any distractions from his sexy time with ponies. Finding a dead end, Dalton replied with a nod.

"Hey everypony! Mr. Dee's gonna play the guitar for us!" Pinkie shouted, drawing the crowd around Dalton yet again. Pinkie reached into her hair and pulled out an acoustic guitar, which was somehow human sized.

"Never really knew how to play it, but maybe you can show us a thing or two on it! This is gonna be fun!!" With her hooves, Pinkie thrust the guitar into Dalton's hands, and he inspected every inch of the guitar. He couldn't really tell the brand; probably made in PonyVille.

Anxiously, Dalton strummed a few chords. Perfectly in tune. He observed the ponies' expectant smiles and thought up of a song that would normally get him laid. He cleared his throat and made his best attempt at a British accent.

"I think this is a song of hope."

There's a lady who's poor
(Fuck, what's the next line?)
and she's fucking a toad
but she's rutting a dildo from seven-eleven

And when she gets there she knows,
if she does all the hoes,
With a word she can eat out all the whores
(crap, wrong note)

Ooooh, oooooooh, and she's fucking a mare from heaven
(oooohs = naughty bed noises)

There's a sign on the whore,
20 bucks to blow her,
cause you know 30 is a waste of shillings
(holy crap the whole bar was off)

In a club there's a book,
which is 300 pages thick,
which includes all of the good fuck positions
(Fuck this i'm skipping to the fast part)

Dalton strummed faster, earning the applause from fellow ponies.

And as we fuck all the green toads
Our cocks are filled with all our loads
there was a lady who loved to moan
who likes her dildos large and cold
how everyone's still a fucking hose
and if you get really hard
The load will come on you at last
When you have fucked them one and all
To be rock hard, and not to fuck....

Dalton fell silent for a while, earning furious clopping from the ponies.

And she's rutting a stallion... from heaven....

The applause was deafening; some ponies' eyes were watery and even Celestia was dabbing her cheeks. Twilight was apparently crying buckets.

"Stuart Dalton.... that was... beautiful... In my life I've never heard such an angelic voice in Equestria... speaking such reason too... You truly are a gift to Equestria," said Twilight Sparkle, who was using up all of the napkins in Sugarcube corner to clean up her waterfall of tears. Dalton cocked an eyebrow; that was, hands down, the most terrible rendition of Stairway to Heaven he had come up with. The vulgarities didn't help either.

Dalton shrugged and proceeded to continue his talk with Celestia. However, he was interrupted yet again by a voice at the door of Sugarcube Corner.

"Oh Mr. Dalton! Please do come to my boutique for your gift and change out of that... horrid excuse for clothing," huffed a tired Rarity, who had run all the way from Carousal Boutique to Sugarcube Corner after awaking from a fainting spell.

"Later," Dalton told Celestia, who replied with a curt nod.

LELELELELEL

At the boutique, Dalton admired the round flank that was present before him and it shined in his eyes like a brilliant morning sun. His own morning glory threatened to creep out and attack Rarity with merciless fury, playing out the plots of the numerous clopfics that he had read before. Rarity had told Dalton to stay on the ground floor of the boutique as she went upstairs to her room to get the finished gift, then proceeded to draw the curtains; she obviously intended it to be a surprise and didn't want anypony else to see.

After what seemed to be like an eternity, Rarity finally descended the steps and lifted out a dazzling one piece suit with her magic, quite similar to the dress ordered by Sapphire Shores in A Dog and Pony Show. Dalton's face became red, not because there were frills at the ends of the sleeves, or that there were gems on every inch of the suit; no, he flushed with embarrassment (and a hint of arousal) as he saw, between the legs of the suit, was a large hole. It was even bordered by frills.

"Mr. Dalton, you had.. quite the show out there when you battled Discord. And even before that, when you were walking with us ponies, you couldn't quite tame that... stallion of yours," Rarity said nervously, "So it gave me the impression that you were in heat all of the time."

Oh fuck she's horny! She wants me! thought Dalton, naughty thoughts roaming his mind, and Rarity removed his clothing and placed the suit on him. Naturally, Dalton's lick stick was hard and was poking out of the hole Rarity made for him.

"I'd gladly satisfy you Rarity. Oh wait, one more thing, is Spike here?" Dalton asked mischievously, an idea forming in his head.

"Satisfy?! How dare you! I'd never stoop so low as that," Rarity retorted with indignation, "And yes, my little Spikey-Wikey is here at the boutique, why, might you ask? Oh Spike!! Come down here, the saviour of PonyVille wants to see you!"

Heh, she's obviously lying, thought Dalton. She totally wants the 'D'.

"Oh hey Mr. Dalton! I was hoping to find a chance to see you but Rarity wanted me to dig for diamonds! I was diligent, milady," Spike said, as he descended the steps from Rarity's room, cheerful as ever, "Thanks for saving the town by the way? How can Spike serve you?"

"Haha..... Spike, could you tie yourself in an unbreakable knot in that chair and face me and Rarity?" Something in Dalton's mind snapped in his excitement to carry on with his dreadful fantasies, but this was met with a confused glare from Rarity.

"What are you doing Mr. Dalton? I am most interested to know," Rarity said, casting a suspicious look at Dalton as a demented smile crossed his lips. Spike, being the diligent baby dragon he was, had himself all tied up, unable to escape. Dalton also forced a gag down his mouth, which Spike received with a smile.

Without a word, Dalton lunged for Rarity and starting rubbing her horn furiously. His hand clenched the warm extension and his palm fit just nicely onto it. Rarity's horn glowed momentarily and halted, as Rarity herself succumbed to bliss as the horn was stroked further. The unicorn horn was a sensitive spot, and one could disable the magic by rubbing it and causing pleasure to seep into the unicorn's body, therefore throwing them off their magical balance.

"Ohhhhhhhh yessssssssss," said Rarity, as if she was saying something whilst on a vibrating massage chair.

This was a refreshing change to Dalton; after all, his first genuine sexual encounter in PonyVille was with Discord. He shuddered to think of it, and focused instead on the increasingly wet glove box that was between Rarity's legs. Meanwhile, Spike, tethered to his chair, was shaking uncontrollably as he observed the love of his life getting herself taken advantage of by Dalton, and issued muffled screams as Dalton prepared to insert Excalibur. Exactly the reaction I want, thought Dalton.

Dalton then thrust his ass wedge into Rarity's snatch, while balancing himself by resting his left hand on her left cheek of her flank. It was oddly cavernous and loose, and the folds were much larger than he thought them to be. His baloney pony felt positively wet as it explored Rarity's depths. Then something even more far-fetched struck him; though Rarity was moaning in ecstasy, her moans weren't consistent with the rhythm of his thrusts; rather, they were at the same pace as before, when he used his hand to rub her horn. That meant his penetration wasn't giving her any pleasure.

"Oooo, my nethers are ticklish! Hehe," Rarity gasped, affirming Dalton's suspicions; it was only logical, since human beef sticks were many times smaller than stallion ones. Dalton hung his head in shame and sensed that his once proud pussy punisher did the same.

"Sorry Rarity, for attempting to sexually assault you." The words escaped Dalton's mouth before he could catch them, and they were laced with embarrassment and shame. After a long moment of silence, Rarity spoke up, bringing Dalton to attention.

"I'm very sorry dear, that you're not very well-endowed," Rarity said with a sympathetic smile, "But the length of your... thing... isn't your only measure of worth, my dear. It's the heart and soul you put into the activities you do. Look at me, I'm not the most powerful unicorn in all of Equestria, but I use my talent in something I love, and I place a hundred percent effort into it. So don't you fret dear, you'll find a way."

Dalton was not comforted and turned his back on Rarity; his whole experience here was ruined and the weight of his lack of length silenced any comfort that Rarity tried to offer Dalton. He was here to rut mares and have a good time with it too... But he couldn't do it naturally. Viagra was out of the question since he used the last one against Discord; Twilight also established that her enlargement spells only worked for full body transformations. Dalton broke through the door of the Boutique and ran off into the morning streets of PonyVille, to go to wherever the wind took him.

"Dalton!" Rarity called, concern on her face. She somehow pissed off the hero of PonyVille; no doubt would she get flak for her actions. Rarity sighed and climbed the stairs, retreating to her room to wallow in whatever it was ponies wallowed in, in her dramatic nightgown.

"Hello?! Anypony out there? I just spat the gag out... Can anypony help me with these ropes? Rarity? Twilight? HELLO?"

Author's Note

Possibly the most boring chapter of mine. And naturally, the least weird. I think. Enjoy, leave a comment, favorite it, follow me, like it, blah blah blah, have a good day ahead.

Princess Celestia?

"Rarity! Where's Mr. Dee?" cried a worried Pinkie Pie, her eyes furrowed and her head turning about rapidly around the Boutique, as she paced around the bottom floor and called for the fashionista. Interrupted in the midst of her wallowing, Rarity fluttered her eyes open and replied to Pinkie.

"Oh Pinkie, it was just dreadful... I fear that I may have driven off our friend to some far corner of Equestria, because of my actions... Stupid! How foolish of me to let him slip out of hoof so easily!" That being said, Rarity tossed around in bed further and drowned herself in pity even more. Outside, the bell above the door of the Boutique rang, and four other familiar voices rang through the Boutique.

"Where is he?" came the voice of Fluttershy.

"He'd better be close," said an angered Rainbow Dash, "Or whoever foalnapped him is in for a hoof in the face!"

"Rarity! Git yer flank down 'ere and explain yerself! Ya were the last one with 'im!" shouted Applejack.

"Well, I better hope it wasn't anything serious... His hospital robe is still here," said a genuinely worried Twilight Sparkle, levitating a piece of tattered garment that could hardly be called apparel.

And where is Spike now, you ask? It turns out, Spike shifted his chair a little too close to the Boutique's newly installed garbage chute and tripped over a ball of yarn that was conveniently situated near the chute's opening, sending him, still tied up in the chair, down the rank tunnel and into the sewers of PonyVille. Therefore, he was nowhere to be seen in the Boutique, being trapped inside the methane filled network of filth below PonyVille.

"Rarity! We need your help in finding him! There's still time and we should set out as fast as we can!" yelled Twilight, and this elicited a yelp from Rarity as she slid off the bed, hurrying to get her wallowing clothes off for going out. Rarity, bearing a look of determination and splattered mascara on her face, trotted out of her room.

"So? What are you girls waiting for? We have a human to catch!" Rarity said, wiping her face of mascara and galloping out of the Boutique door, with her five friends trailing closely behind.

LELELELELEL

Dalton ran and ran, until his legs gave way underneath him. He fell to the ground, and his body met soft grass and moist soil. He looked up and saw a roof-like structure supported by several trees; it was familiar and PonyVille's Gazepo was the only thing that came to his mind. Dalton lay there in the grass, his frilly suit still on him, his skin flute resting on the ground out of the crotch hole Rarity cut out for him. All of a sudden, to his great surprise, Dalton cried greatly and sat up, burying his face in his fists and bawling out loud, as if no one was around to see him. He didn't really care; the disappointment in his heart was too monumental to bottle in, so he decided to let the revelation that he could never indulge in DAT PONY ASS sink in. He sobbed for a good 5 minutes until a white hoof rested itself on Dalton's right shoulder.

"There, there, my little human. What ails you so? Have the citizens of PonyVille been ill treating you?" A mellifluous voice came from behind Dalton, and that was Princess Celestia. He dared not to turn around, since his perpendicular pickle was still hanging out of that horrid hole in his suit. Dalton took a glance behind, and saw the Sun Princess with Princess Luna at her side as well, both looking at him with worry. He wiped a tear from his reddened face; the morals of masculinity weren't so strictly adhered to by Dalton in his dream world of Equestria, and his resolve broke like a shattered dam.

Rapidly, Dalton told Celestia and Luna all that had transpired in recent events; Rarity calling him over, his attempted rape of the fashionista, his failure and hi s fleeing to the Gazepo. He also lamented heavily on how the only notable sexual experience he had in Equestria was with Discord, and mulled at how pathetic he was that the only thing that aroused him to the extent of ejaculation here was a male Draconequus. Then a long moment of silence followed, when Celestia and Luna merely stood there, seemingly unsure on how to help the troubled brony. Then, Dalton heard the two sisters converse with each other.

"I must do it, sister. I must unlock... it." started Princess Celestia, startling her sister. Dalton, in the midst of his sorrow, wondered what it was.

"No sister! I forbid it! Remember the last time it was done! You effectively put PonyVille in jeopardy!" Luna was indignant and firm in her stand, and clearly disapproved of whatever Celestia wanted to do.

"Oh come on, Luna, you're not thinking straight. Must have been the zombification that has gotten to your head. Sit back, relax and let me do all the work, sister," said Celestia, and for once in his time in Equestria, Dalton saw mischief in the smile and eyes of Celestia. Wait... Is she gonna fuck me? Sweet! thought Dalton in glee, before quickly getting reminded of his rather short predicament, as his tallywhacker flopped up in arousal for a brief moment.

"No.... it shan't happen! Never again!" Cried Luna, tipping her head down and aiming her horn at Celestia. Before Celestia could do anything in retaliation, Luna's horn emitted a blast of deep purple energy, hitting Celestia squarely on her chest, causing her to fly back, through the trunk of a nearby apple tree. It was clear that whatever Luna was trying to prevent from happening was big and threatening, very much like how Dalton wanted his crotch cowboy to be. Sorry, I couldn't resist.

"Run, Stuart Dalton of Earth! Run! Back to Earth you go!" said Luna. Dalton was wrought with confusion, his head abuzz with questions, but complied, not wanting to tempt the wrath of the Princess of the Night. What could have been so serious that Luna had to fight against her own sister?

However, not barely a minute later, a burst of radiant light invaded his eyes as Princess Celestia winked (teleported) into the space in front of him. Her face was one of anger now, and her once pristine, brilliantly white chest had a blackened spot where Luna blasted her. Dalton looked back at the Gazepo and saw Princess Luna, prone on the ground, looking at him with desperation in her eyes and a hoof outstretched. Celestia had obviously defeated her with greater magic and now Celestia knocked Dalton to the ground, pinning him down by the shoulders with her hooves. Celestia's my enemy now, thought Dalton, and he shut his watery eyes for what was to come next. A bright flash of orange lit up the insides of his eyelids and after that, the world went dark and he spun down yet again into a nauseating tunnel that broke time and space.

In a bush near the Gazepo, three young fillies gasped.

LELELELELEL

(Warning: the part you are about to see was done under influence of bad shrooms and horrible music)

"Where are you Mr. Dee!!" Cried Pinkie Pie as the Mane Six made their rounds around PonyVille.

"Whoever took him, I'm gonna introduce them to my hoof!" declared Rainbow Dash, rage in her eyes.

The Mane Six, being the unbelievably fucking stupid wankers they were, searched around PonyVille instead of listening to Rarity when she noticed the bloke running out towards the Gazepo. So, being the long winded horseshits they were, they mindlessly asked random blokes on the street on where the fuck Stuart was.

"Have you seen a human???" interrogated Rainbow Dash as she grabbed a brown coated stallion by his throat.

"I'm American," Said Dr. Whooves, "and let me go!"

Rainbow Dash, in her fit of rage, flew up into the air, carrying the poor doctor with her 60 feet into the air. On the ground, the saidistic natures of the Mane Six caused them to cheer and laugh as they saw Rainbow Dash's attempt to kill the doctor.

"I'll let you go!" smirked Rainbow Dash, releasing her grip on the doctor, causing him to plummet to his death. Unfortunately for her and the rest of the Mane Six, they wouldn't get their fun just yet, as the Doctor used his mind powers to summon a worm hole that cut through the fabric of space and time, causing him to fucking blink out of the realm they were in. The ponies, utterly dumbfounded, were disappointed they didn't get to jump up and down on the doctor's mangled carcass.

Just then, The Cutie Mark Crusaders galloped up to the Mane Six, worry in their eyes as they huffed in unision, "Quick... Gazepo.... Dalton..... Celestia.... Gone..."

"Well, why didn't ya come ta us earlier! Let's go!" cried Applejack, galloping and putting the rest of the Mane Six and the Cutie Mark Crusaders on her back and heading towards the Gazepo. No one even fucking questioned how the Cutie Mark Crusaders said shit in perfect synch.

(End of my high)

LELELELELEL

Dalton forced his eyes open as a bucket of water was thrown against his face. No actual water splashed on him and it was just the pain from the bucket itself that woke him up. He tried moving his arms and legs but they would not comply; it seemed that he was tied down. He turned his head around and got a clearer look; He was strapped vertically to a standing metal table, his hands and feet stuck to the table by metal cuffs. He was still wearing his frilled suit, his pants popper still sticking out. The room around him was entirely dark save for a spotlight he was in; it seemed that he was going to be interrogated. Or something worse...

"You see, Dalton, I didn't tell you the whole story," said a rather sultry, yet familiar voice. Dalton shuddered in fear. It wasn't a tone that this voice was accustomed to.

"I saw you fight Discord. I was the one who helped direct your baby batter onto the right answers in the questionnaire, with a little touch of magic. I was the one who enchanted your Viagra pills to give you a huge.... pulsating.... fuck stick."

Dalton was positively terrified now; whatever it was that was talking, it wanted him, and not in a nice way either. Before he saw it, he felt it; a moist feeling on his pecker and a fleshy, wet tongue carassed it, skillfully tossing it around this way and that, trying to make it rock hard. Dalton had to comply; the tongue was too good, and his wank bank was soon dripping of pre-ejaculatory fluid and standing tall. At least, as tall as it could.

"Ah, ah ,ah, the mistress didn't allow you to stand," came the voice again. Now, the thing moved a little forward, revealing a set of eyes, with small purple irised pupils with a network of bloodshot veins, floating in the darkness. It started to get colder in the room as Dalton dreaded what was to come next. Out of the darkness, a whip came flying forward, leaving a red mark on his chest and causing him to yelp out in pain. The tongue continued to pleasure his gradually softening cum-bone.

"Are you Queen Chrysalis or something?? Nightmare Moon?? King Fucking Sombra??!" Cried Dalton, his resolve waning. Then the figure lifted its tongue off and stepped into the spotlight. It was a large mare and had bloodshot eyes. A pinkish-purple mane and tail. Large wings. A horn dripping of musky smelling fluid. And most horrifyingly, a coat of grayish white and the mark of the Sun on its flank. The legends are true.... She's not just a tumblr persona, thought Dalton with horror. His limbs started frantically moving about, desperate to break free, though his attempts were in vain.

"Now, now, if you want those ponies I have them locked up in the neighboring cells, but now's not the time. Now's the time.... FOR ME!" She resumed her licking, and Dalton strained his hardest to think of unarousing thoughts, but only worry came to mind as he realized how deep in shit he was.

It's her, thought Dalton with terror. He gulped and said it aloud.

"It's... Princess Molestia."

Author's Note

Enjoy this literary travesty. Don't worry, Spike is going to be back. Somewhere along the way. Apologies if the chapter is not long enough, I thought that it would not be very dramatic if I didn't stop at the last line. So, the usual, like, favorite, comment. Please?

Hey Cloppers! Click this Chapter to get to the good shit!

Sweet childhood memories, sweet childhood memories,thought Dalton as he was continuously violated by Princess Celestia's tongue. It had easily been 10 minutes now and Dalton had suffered in silence and tried to be completely still; his Lower Lady Lover wouldn't remain flaccid, earning him about 12 bright red lash marks all over his body from the whip. He tried desperately to take his mind off sex and think of unarousing matters but it was to no avail, and as a result he was punished.

It was a mix of pain and pleasure for Dalton, and he only wanted to escape, since the Princess obviously had more in store. With a strangled cry he told the corrupted Sun Princess a suggestion.

"P... Princess, please! My nethers aren't worthy of your tongue's power! Release me and I'll be on my way," said a fatigued Dalton.

Celestia smiled and brandished the whip using magic, and the whip was engulfed in yellow magic as it cracked upon Dalton's left arm, causing him to wince in discomfort.

"One, it's Mistress Celestia for you. And two, talk again and I shall have to increase the punishment tenfold. Can't wait to see how that would turn out!" squealed Mistress Celestia in delight as she returned her tongue to its position, wrapping around Dalton's semi-hard frankfurter. She obviously had much prior experience with her tongue, as she guided her length of meaty, saliva coated roughness along Dalton's shaft, finding every nerve point on his gonads. She coated every lick with a generous helping of saliva, and Dalton found himself lost in ecstasy as the skillful tongue became a cosy coop for his raging rooster, which he struggled to keep down despite the feel of wet flesh on his hot meat.

"Just that... Prin-- I mean Mistress! My woody isn't stallion sized..." Dalton blurted out, bracing for the whip. But it never came. Instead, as he opened his eyes slowly, he noticed that the Mistress was off of his joystick and was now eyeing him with deranged eyes and a wide Chesire grin, too wide to be natural.

"Oooh! I've just been thinking of this day for millennia, where I could finally have a chance to seduce a human! It was so simple! Set up Discord, lower PonyVille's defenses so that Discord can terrorize the town, and then I'll be able to have a valid reason to get a human to Equestria!" The Mistress was clearly a different mare from the one that greeted him at the library; she was out of her mind.

"B- But Why would a pony like you want to have sex with a human? That's crazy and wrong, it's interspecies sex, it defies so many laws and practices. I mean, a pony shouldn't be aroused by the sight of a huma--" Dalton stopped right there. He realized that what he said was nothing short of hypocritical. He was a man who loved technicolor ponies and he saw nothing wrong with that; how could he have been so foolish? All of this was a cruel joke played out on him, with Princess Molestia turning the tables and forcing Dalton to be on the receiving end instead of his intention of having a taste of hot pony flank and slit. He hung his head in utter shame and guilt, his arousal finally gone and his corndog finally rested.

Surprisingly after that, Dalton didn't experience the slightest pain or pleasure on any part of his body for a long while, prompting him to look up. He saw a sobbing Celestia, on her haunches, with whip in mouth. It was such an angelic yet pitiful image, the flawless and curvaceous Princess in the bright spotlight; Dalton couldn't feel anything but confusion, and utter fear at the steep transformation in Celestia's demeanor.

"First, y-you're on my cock licking like nothing matters, then you're b-bawling?" said Dalton, trying his best not to sound angered. It was genuine sadness in Celestia, and no being alive could talk to her in a tone that could slightly offend.

"S-S-Sorry... I just thought you'd... be happy..." murmured Celestia, her eyes wet and bloodshot but not from madness. "I r-read some fanfictions and surfed the Ponynet.... It seemed like this 'Molestia' persona is something you humans love and adore, and I tried to emulate her... so sorry, Mr. Dalton... In my desperation to bed a human, I seemed to have forgotten that some do not fancy discipline and submission. You'll never want me now."

Celestia ended her sentence with a pout in her lips and large, watery purple irised eyes, an innocent look that would put all of the immaculate Deviantart photos of Fluttershy to shame. Dalton's willy became wild, immediately standing up to the look. Celestia's eyes shot down to his growing heat but just as quickly shot them back up, with a growing blush on her tear soaked cheeks.

"I guess you're right.... It's rather... unbecoming of me, or anypony to do such a thing to another species.... I guess I'll have to let you go then," said Princess Celestia with a note of finality, sighing as she used her magic on Dalton's cuffs, starting to pry them open. Dalton pitied the princess, and wanted to help, and was compelled to say the following.

"Please! Don't! I... I have a problem too. I can't really stop thinking of... ponies and fucking them to kingdom come." At this, Celestia's eyes widened and a smile graced her face.

"Look, it's just... My dong isn't exactly what you'd call well-endowed. So I really don't think I can reciprocate to my fullest potential," said Dalton, and for once wasn't ashamed and was sincere, since the Princess was someone he could relate to, having similar desires as he did. The Princess became the warm and charitable Celestia he knew and loved. Well, at least he thought so as she spoke the next line.

"Why, I have just the thing. Wait here," said Princess Celestia, winking out of the dungeon but at the same time filling the room with light. Dalton's eyes were flooded with radiance and he immediately shut them, and when his vision slowly came to, he observed his surroundings and with great shock. To his left was a large mirror on the wall, and beside it was a cupboard with shelves upon shelves of human action figures. On the wall across from him, there was a wooden door that was a bit taller than Celestia and to its right was a desk with a computer. To his right, there was something that would grace his wet dreams for days to come; A cupboard with rows upon rows of dildos and vibrators (even a sybian ride) and all of them were still fresh with juices. Fragrant, cinnamon smelling juices which Dalton knew wasn't actual cinnamon solution mixed with flowers, but actually Celestia's cunt juice. Dalton wanted to feel the sex toys, but he was still struggling with the cuffs, which Celestia still left locked. Just then, a flash of yellow light filled the room and Celestia appeared abruptly, followed by a red maned alicorn.

"Um... Dalton, say hello to my mother," said Princess Celestia, bearing a nervous smile.

The alicorn was taller than Celestia and had a crimson mane that flowed down her sides. Her entire coat was white and behind her ear was a fat 2B pencil. Her irises were blue, and right now she stared Dalton down in a stare that was a mix of confusion and disgust, turning away when she gazed down at his exposed nethers. She took an indignant turn to Princess Celestia.

"What is your business bringing him down here? Why would you need to cross the dimensional plane to bring a... a human here! To sate your lust? Don't think I don't know what goes on in these rank dungeons, Celestia. You need to get help and an intervention for your sickness, as I've reiterated to you countless times in the past," said the alicorn, who looked vaguely familiar to Dalton. "Why did you even bring me down here? You should know that the proper way of solving the problem is bringing him back where he came from. Do so, immediately!"

Dalton saw Celestia cower under her mother's might, and Dalton felt sorry yet again, like the time he saw Discord corner Fluttershy. His protective side taking over by the endearing scene in front of him, and he yelled out to the alicorn, attempting to tell her off.

"You stop it, alright! I don't care if you're... you're... uh... Who are you?" inquired Dalton finally, unsure on how to address the stranger.

"Lauren Faust. My card," she said, shaking her pencil off of her head and gripping it in her hooves, then picking it up with her mouth and drawing something in mid air. It took the form of a card and became solid. As Dalton looked at Faust's powers in wonder, she picked up the card with her teeth and flicked it at Dalton, which didn't really reach him as it flew straight up into the air and spiraled down to the ground. Faust shrugged.

"I kinda run this place. Well, created it, actually. I don't make the rules," she said, glaring at Celestia. She sighed and brought a hoof to her temple.

"It seems that you have overstayed, man. You should be on your way home. I'll draw you a portal and you can put this traumatizing journey behind you. As for you, my misbehaving little alicorn," She said, staring down Celestia, "I think I'm going to have to give you a little time-out. Lock you in the room with Bloo for two weeks this time."

At this, Celestia's eyes shot open, reducing to tiny pupils. Celestia's wings unfurled and flapped, and as fast as you could say the word 'swag' Faust was squirming on the ground, pinned by Celestia's hooves. The pencil rolled on the ground towards Dalton's perch on the metal table, and he wondered why he still wasn't brought down yet as he stared at the pencil for what felt like hours. It's my ticket out, he thought, as he futilely strained at his cuffs.

Ahead of him, the two alicorns were tussling on the ground, with legs, hooves and wings all over the place. At one point, Celestia socked Faust in the muzzle with a hoof, but after the red maned alicorn shook her head and came to, she bucked Celestia off, causing her to fly backwards and crack the wall behind her.

"Ha! Your mother still can throw a few punches," Faust said, stretching and admiring her hooves. Celestia fell off the wall and onto the ground, exhausted from the day's events and pained from the blow.

"Can't you use your magic?" said Dalton to Celestia, wanting to help. The pink maned alicorn's eyes brightened up, and her horn glowed with a belligerent black. Okay, it's hard to imagine a black glow but bear with me, alright? Weird shit goes down in FaustWorld.

"Oh, no Celestia. Don't tr--" Before she could finish, Faust suddenly disappeared from view, and a bright light filled the room. Dalton suddenly felt the tightness of the cuffs around his limbs loosen greatly, and felt himself falling through about a metre of air before landing face first onto cold, hard ground. He looked up and around his surroundings; he was in the same room, but free from his bondage. However, a new occupant took his initial place, and a struggling Faust was strapped to the metal table instead.

"You'll regret this, Celestia!" Faust cried, straining against the cuffs. Celestia returned the threat with a smirk and licked Dalton's entire face, drowning it in cool, divine saliva that Dalton enjoyed; her tongue was smooth and her licks felt like refreshing blasts of water on his face. Dalton gave a nervous smile, but remembered a question that was burning in his head.

"Why can't you use magic?" Dalton asked Faust. Celestia chuckled and answered his question, while Faust cried for help and doubled her physical efforts to free herself, but only in vain.

"She simply can't. She's a human translated to equine. Even if she has a fancy horn and wings, she'll never be able to use an ounce of magic against me. The only thing that she possesses with a substantial amount of magic is this pencil," Celestia finished, trotting up to her mother and flicking her mother's horn(earning a growl), before picking up the pencil.

"Now, about that... Stallionhood of yours," said Celestia, a crimson blush spreading over her face, "Is it alright, if I..."

"Can you change me into a pony?" said an excited Dalton, the words escaping his lips. That was every brony's dream; to become a pony and roam PonyVille, to be caught up in her ups and downs and hang out with the Mane Six, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the Royal Sisters, or whoever and fight the evils and overcome the challenges that lie their way, and restore harmony. Well, most bronies. I think.

Celestia smiled and hugged Dalton, her warm white fur pressing against his chest.

"It shall be done. Close your eyes," said Celestia, the warmest of smiles gracing her lips and the most curious of eyes sizing up Dalton and his stout 'spear', as if she was an anticipating teenager about to be deflowered and saw a man's hood for the first time. Pencil in mouth, she leaned down on Dalton, her eyes gazing up to check that he had his own eyes closed. Dalton had to comply, and soon, he felt the strangest combination of feelings; none of them were painful, but it was strange, as if someone was toying with his nerves, switching them off or on whenever they pleased. He lost control of some of his body parts, yet he became more sensitive in other regions, like his eyes, ears, and his... Aptly named Anal Annihilator. He felt something soft as he rubbed the ground, most probably the growing coat of fur on his entire body. He lost control of his fingers and toes, and suddenly felt something, like a new limb, stirring out and flicking around in the region above his rear. At this point, after feeling a tail at his behind, Dalton no longer doubted the pencil's magic; he was a stallion.

"Open your eyes, dear," said Celestia, beside herself in excitement, "I would have preferred you to be a human, but I was afraid your old body wouldn't suit a longer stallionhood."

Dalton followed her request and opened his eyes, observing himself in the mirror at the side of the room. He gasped at what he saw: he was an Earth pony lying on the ground on its back, a little smaller than Celestia but probably larger than the average pony. His color combination was horrible, with a coat that was a mottled green and bright pink irises, a blonde spiky mane done up in a mohawk. He realized that his voice got substantially deeper as he grunted and tested it. But the most alarming part of him wasn't what was above, but what was beneath; his new and improved Super Speedy Sex Slit Squeezy 9000 was longer than he imagined, about two inches from the ground when it was at rest. He couldn't wait to test this baby out. With a start, Dalton leapt up from the ground and immediately became bipedal. He shook his head and rested his hooves on the ground, awkwardly trying to trot. After a few test runs, he could gallop quite comfortably across the room. In the middle of the room, a patient yet hormonally imbalanced Celestia desperately needed fucking, and she piped up, wanting Dalton.

"Uh.... Let's take this slow huh?" said a nervous Celestia, "We both saw how 'Molestia' worked out..."

"It's fine," said Dalton, "I'd rather call you by that name, stupid sexy Molestia." Dalton was overcome with confidence at his new form (and his greatly increased length).

At that, Celestia gave a squee of delight, and leaned into Dalton, her mother's horrified eyes and critical voice becoming background; Fucking Dalton was first priority.

Celestia licked her chops as Dalton laid on the ground and spread his hind hooves, revealing the longest flaccid horse dong Celestia had ever seen (She drew it!). It needed stimulation, and Celestia could deliver that in a cinch. She bent her head down and took the entire foot of Dalton's Equine Enterer into her mouth, dunking it in a sea of princess amylase and pleasure. Inside the Princess's trap, her experienced tongue did its work, wrapping itself around Dalton's horse sausage and hugging it tight, while slathering generous heaps of saliva onto it. All of this caused Dalton to experience waves of pleasure through his body, synchronized with Celestia's head bobbing. Every time her head left his shaft, her long tongue would still be binding his Dr. Wang, holding it in place and encouraging an erection (which was rather hard to come by. Are horses harder to stimulate? Anywho, moving on). And she'd be doing all of this with such grace and propriety, her slender neck craning up and down with her movements, as if the dirty act of blowing jobs was dignified. On the metal table, Lauren Faust was getting positively turned on; she wasn't a hardcore clopper, but that scene, that mixture of pleasure and serenity, could turn on even an ED'd male or a strict lesbian, and there was a growing heat in her loins as a result. She struggled harder; though she was planning to say something along the lines of "Can't you two get another room?", Faust thought against it, as she was positively turned on by the scene, and heavily desired Dalton to come up and do her on the table.

"Urggh... I need you..." came a sweaty Faust, horny beyond belief. Celestia looked up and smirked, increasing the pace of her bobbing and going even deeper down Dalton's Horse Hammer, earning more groans from both Dalton and Faust. With each bob, her throat would make a 'gulp' sound, and Dalton's large pink shlong would be glistening with saliva; each time she moved up or down, a loud wet noise would be made and his 'head' would be clogging up her windpipe. Dalton thrusted his hips up to aid Celestia's active head, and his one eyed snake was growing by the inch with each suck. It grew larger and larger, and at its peak, Celestia stopped her movements and looked up at Dalton, mischief in her eyes.

"Why'd you stop?" said Dalton, his mind lost in ecstasy, unable to come up with a single clopfic that could describe just how hot that experience was. Celestia licked off a glob of pre-cum that leaked out of the end of Dalton's creamer and spread it across her chops.

"I want you to take me," she said sultrily, turning her rump to face him, her flowing tail whipping up and crossing her mate's muzzle. Just like in the clopfics... but about 21% hotter... Like 20% hotter just 1% above it.... thought Dalton, his imagination adrift in lust. She lifted her curtain and the main attraction hung in front of him: a luscious, glistening collection of moist folds that were inviting entry, flanked by furry flanks adorned with the mark of the Sun on both sides. It was large, but it wasn't anything his engorged stallionhood of a horse dong couldn't handle. Dalton thought about mounting her, but shook his head, prompting a confused look from Celestia.

"Wha... What? You don't want to do it?" Celestia said, in a rather disappointed tone.

"Er.. no. It's just that you mentioned lusting for humans, which I'm totally cool with by the way," Dalton said in his movie star, Elvis-like baritone, "So I'd want to do some human positions. Spice things up a little, know what I mean?"

Celestia liked the idea. She gave her body up to Dalton as he used his forelegs to turn her over onto her back, feeling up her sensitive, hot haunches as he did so, eliciting squeaks of utter pleasure. He slapped his hoof against Celestia's flank, making her squeal, then she smiled widely and panted like a dog to indicate how much she needed him. The anticipation was killing Celestia, Dalton and Lauren Faust, who wanted to get off the cuffs to masturbate like crazy. Subtle aren't I?

Facing Celestia on the floor now, Dalton positioned himself appropriately, his big baby batter bazooka (say that 20 times and pat yourself on the back if you could do it without the slightest mistake in pronunciation) hovering outside Celestia's abyss. As he prepared to get rid of his virginity, he couldn't help but feel a little tense, but when he looked up at Celestia's hungry face, his tension flew away, as he realized that Celestia was craving this.

Dalton slowly moved up, placing his tip at Celestia's entrance. Celestia gasped, feeling electricity (entirely metaphorical, of course) flow through her body as he teased her, searching her surface folds with his dangling fury, which had a circumference about half the surface area of Celestia's meat muffin. He placed his forehooves beside Celestia's face, and raised his rump high, since his generous length forced him to raise himself high if he wanted to continue his torture. His excitement was off the charts, but he couldn't rush it; he had to do everything as his instincts told him, his years of clopfic writing coming into play. Celestia, on the other hand, needed him.

"PLEASE! Stu, I need you badly! I cannot believe I'm saying this, but... make me your little bitch for the night!" cried Celestia, as Dalton continued shifting around her layers. If it was possible, Dalton became harder, as Celestia cried out his first name as a nick name and swore like a slut. He decided not to stall any further, and slowly pushed himself into Celestia's tight snatch, his Erected Explorer taking a journey into Celestia's Cunt Canyon. Celestia cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure as Dalton made his way through her love cave, the sensitive nerve endings on his Doughnut Holder savoring the surrounding vaginal juice, the warm, hot meat surrounding it and the cosiness offered by Celestia's love hole. It was the best experience of his life; probably nothing he did now or in the future could ever compare to his first entry of a mare, and the princess of Equestria at that. He continued driving his drill in with wet gusto, loving the very receptive Celestia as he continued his expedition; Celestia's cunt seemed to carry on forever. Finally, he bottomed out, nestling himself comfortably in Celestia's warmness, relishing the sounds she emitted that hinted at feelings of hurt, through which genuine desire blossomed forth. Celestia's such an adorable masochist, he thought.

"I drew your large, handsome big colt down there to fit me just right," Celestia said, her eyes rolled up and her tongue lolling out, and looked just as lost as Dalton. "Now, fuck me!"

Dalton happily complied, pulling back by a generous length then slamming her with unmerciful force, making a wet sloppy sound; Celestia was probably all oiled up at the time of the blowjob, and the amount of juices flowing in her vag were astonishing, though Dalton had a feeling that wasn't the most she could leak out. He continued his smooth and fast thrusting, his jammer positively soaked to the base with fluids. Dalton was spurred on greatly by Celestia's moans and pleas for him, swearing like a sex-crazed whore. With successive thrusts, he felt himself touch this bean shaped region of her insides, which seemed to him like a mare's G-spot, and when ever he did so, she cried out particularly loudly and a greater volume of sex fluid came down on his pony pecker.

"Oh, yes, tame me! I've been a very naughty mare! Don't let up.... I'm close!!" Celestia said, as an already copious volume of fluid was leaking out with every time Dalton pulled back. "HARDER!! ARE YOU A PUSSY?!"

When Celestia screamed, Dalton was turned on to catastrophic levels, and he proceeded to accelerate, the fluids and meat around his mare tamer erotically cradling it. Dalton's two veggies bounced violently in their sack, slapping Celestia's flawless flank with each thrust. The friction between their organs increased, and the temperature in Celestia's doughnut increasing to unexpected levels; both were near release. Despite that, they rutted for about 10 minutes at this speed and friction, the heat of the Sun within Celestia's core enveloping Dalton's Pussy Eviscerator. Then it came.

"OH FUCK ME!" yelled Celestia, as she reached her orgasm. A torrent of fluids flowed out from Celestia's nethers, drenching Dalton's fur and his inner haunches, at the same time drowning his Womb Poker. The muscles in her privates suddenly clenched down on Dalton's Cunt Destroyer with crushing force, not allowing him to exit. The pressure caused by the abrupt action of Celestia's muscles was the last straw; Dalton felt his orbs empty themselves and carry their Luscious Load down his urethra, finally depositing itself inside Celestia. Dalton's own torrent came in waves; with each successive unloading, a volume of fluid would exit Celestia's Cock Cushion, drenching the floor, Celestia's haunches and Dalton's haunches. Unbridled moans of sex and fragrant smells of mixed fruit and lavender and rose flowers filled the room, and Dalton marveled at the exotic smell of his new baby batter and how his bags of white solution could allow him such resilience, unloading about 13 to 16 loads of stallion fluid. Dalton, quite fatigued by now, collapsed onto Celestia's chest, and he ran a hoof up and down her round furry belly, his 'big boy' still inside of her. He raised his upper body up and looked at Celestia; her head was held back, exposing her throat to him and her mouth was agape. If Dalton had taken a picture of Celestia now, the title of it would be 'Satisfaction', since it epitomized a quenching of a thirst, a thirst for lust. Celestia's head snapped back to gaze into Dalton's eyes, her own eyes shifting under fluttering eyelids, with long black eyelashes adding to the beauty. Without a word, Dalton pressed his muzzle onto Celestia's in a French kiss.

It was quite the awkward kiss, with Celestia being uncertain at first how to reciprocate; Dalton had pressed his tongue furiously against her lips for entry but she didn't get the message until Dalton verbally told her to open up. When she got the hang of it, they made out like wild animals would, saliva dribbling and frothing from their mouths, tongues flailing about and lips mashing together, making very sloppy sounds. They did all of this this while he was still inside of her.

"Damn... You're amazing Ce-- I mean, Molestia," Dalton said, finally resting his head on her chest, a satisfied grin on his face. Celestia also felt the need to rest and lay there on the cold hard floor; even her strong back couldn't take so much punishment, and she wrapped her forelegs around Dalton's back, closing her eyes. She wore a similar countenance as Dalton as she drifted off into sleep, her love cave still housing Dalton's lovestick, fresh juices still flowing out from there to drip onto the floor.

On a metal table in the middle of the room, Lauren Faust's pussy was hot and moist as hell but it was only teetering on the edge of orgasm; see, Faust couldn't just experience it on the spot just by visual stimulation, she needed to be rutted well and proper. It was a torture to be audience to what could perhaps be the hottest sex scene in Equestria and not to be able to, how should I put it, relate to the female protagonist by aid of toys or hooves.

"Untie me this instance! Celestia, If you untie me now, your punishment will be less severe! Celestia! I have needs too...." Faust ended desperately, her pristine white face crimson red as she observed erotic fluids pool up on the floor below the couple. It was going to be a long night.

LELELELELEL

In a nursing home in England, the three surviving members of Led Zeppelin were resting on velvet armchairs holding classical guitars and reminiscing the old days. Suddenly, the skeletal John Paul Jones got a horrible headache and bent down on the floor. The other two, the asian astrophysicist Jimmy Page and aged banshee Robert Plant hurried down to pick him up until they received headaches of their own. A rip in the space time continuum was being made, and Jonesy was quick to place its source.

"Urghh..... Some bloke..... covering our song.... horribly... Stairway to.... Rutting?" gasped John Paul Jones, on the floor on his back as he writhed in agony at the horrible song playing again and again in his head.

"Fuck.... his solo is actually in time... Solos aren't allowed to be in time!" cried Jimmy Page, as he rolled about on the floor as if he was placed on a pool of sulphuric acid, as the impeccably timed solo invaded his ears.

"He..... STOLE OUR SONG!" seethed an angered Robert Plant, whose many years of plagiarism made him seem like the largest hypocrite in the world, as he got mad when people sampled Led Zep.

"Stole our song? Shit doesn't even sound anything like our song," said John Paul Jones, his eardrums threatening to burst.

Robert Plant sighed and went on all fours, starting a jig.

"She's an evil enchantress, who does evil dances, and if you look into her eyes, she'll leave you in trances, and what would she do, she'll mix up an evil brew and then she'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew so.... watch out!" heaved Robert Plant in a single breath, the strain from having to listen to the invasive tune from another world so stressful that he suddenly was spurred to sing his favorite song from his favorite TV show, My Little Pony. He was a closet brony so he immediately shut his mouth afterwards.

"You watch My Little Pony, mate?" said the other two members in unision. Robert Plant had no idea how they knew this from that one song only, but nonetheless, he didn't question things and he started bawling.

"That show's lame as fuck," said John Paul Jones and Jimmy Page, and they nodded in agreement, though in their hearts they were closet bronies as well. This was the first stage of brony conversion: denial. Just then, there was a rip in the heavens above, and a choir of angels accompanied the ceiling that crashed down, raining debris on the old rockers. A nurse who had just entered the room gasped and pointed above to the descending figure of John Bonham in a robe, while he had two drumsticks in each hand, flapping them like wings as he came down. The nurse shrieked shrilly, but Plant shrieked shrillier, being the banshee he was. The door behind the nurse locked itself as Bonham waved a drumstick at the lock, preventing escape.

"Hear me, Rob--" Bonham started, but Plant shrieked.

"I sa--" Plant screamed yet again, interrupting Bonham.

"A--"

"AAAHHHHH!!!!!!"

"Guys, shut him up."

Jonesy and Jimmy stuffed their fingers into Plant's mouth and he was promptly shut up. Bonham cleared his throat and began yet again.

"Greeti--"

"AHHHHH!!!!"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, whoever screams again is going to fucking hell!" That shut the nurse up. In anger, Bonham continued his speech.

"I have been sent here from the high halls of heaven by the electromagnetic and dimension crossing radiation from a downright disgusting cover of Stairway to Heaven. By my Jesus-like powers, I am back on Earth, to get to the source of the cover and slay the beast who did this. But for me to stay on Earth, I need a sacrifi-- I mean, a willing volunteer of flesh and blood to guard my throne." Bonham looked at the three. All of them pointed a finger at the aged nurse, who cowered in a corner. Bonham raised his eyebrow and lifted a finger, emitting lightning from it and vaporizing the nurse, leaving nothing but smoke and blackened soot where she once laid. Jimmy and Jones yelped and were startled while Plant's pupils grew small, utterly fearful of Bonham. Bonham warmly laughed at their faces and put an index finger to his temple.

"Ha! You should see the look on your faces! Like chads at their first bukkake party," said Bonham, hysterically laughing as he did so, "I thought you guys would be excited at my return! Oh and her? Don't worry bros, I just sent her to hell."

The other three exchanged flabbergasted looks and screamed like girls in unision. They gesticulated their arms wildly and ran around the room, picking up their guitars and smashing them to pieces. Bonham rolled his eyes in his sockets and snapped his fingers, causing all of them to be locked in chairs with gags over their mouths.

"Look, it's been a long day, alright? My boss, that's Beelzeboss for you, was pretty pissed off that this wanker called Stuart Dalton in Equestria butchered Stairway to Heaven. Oh yeah, and I'm not really from heaven. I'm actually Satan's Right Hand. All of this angelic hocus-pocus is a well crafted gimmick meant to coax a sacrifice. Anywho," said Bonham, rubbing his drumsticks together, "Beelzeboss sent me here to team up with you guys to go to the pony world of Equestria to put a stop to the madness and song butchering. Oh yeah, and the evil enchantress song invoked me. I'm pretty keen you guys would come along. Now, no more whining or screaming, you hear? This is the real John Bonham. I still have my ham roll and 40 shots of vodka sloshing somewhere in my belly, but I'm not really sure on showing that to you, so don't you blokes be doubting Thomases."

The other three nodded and they were freed from their chairs and gags, then they looked up at John Bonham. Jonesy piped up first.

"Is she going to be alright?"

"The nurse? Yeah, she's just going to spend about an hour or two on my throne. Since she's not me, she's probably going to be subject to pain equivalent to 60 years of quartering by horses done 24/7, so I guess it's fine since she's still going to be alive after all that."

"You're a... brony?" said Jimmy Page in shock.

"Yeah, everyone in hell is a brony. Oh yeah, and there's furious clopping in hell. Beelzeboss kinda got jealous of Stuart Dalton, so that's one reason why he wanted to send me to Equestria, to beat the bloke up."

"Who's Satan's Left Hand?" inquired Robert Plant.

"Oh, Keith Moon of course."

The other three let out an 'Ohhhh' and Bonham came down, still in his robe of white and embraced the other three.

"We're Led Zeppelin, but this Hindenburg still isn't burnt up yet," said John Bonham, "on the count of three we're going to be in Equestria and we're going to exact musical justice. We're going to kick some flank in the name of Beelzeboss."

Then, after Bonham's count to three, there was a brief explosion of flames, and Led Zeppelin disappeared, leaving blackened soot in their wake.

LELELELELEL

Luna opened her eyes, a throbbing headache coming on. Though she was a nocturnal creature, adjusting to this extent of darkness took some time. Luna realized that she was pinned, vertically, to a cold metal table by hoofcuffs, with her hind hooves spread wide in a highly provocative manner. She groaned, observing her surroundings; when observing proved ineffective in determining the nature of the room she was in, she resorted to echolocation, a skill taught to her by the bat ponies that serve under her. With a few clicks of her tongue, she located a table in the far corner of the room to her left, and on it was a quill and some parchment. With magical telekinesis, She lifted the quill and probed around the cuffs, trying to find a keyhole. Then, when she failed, she attempted to wink herself out of the table; it turned out that there was a magical enchantment cast on the table, preventing winking. She sighed, easing her telekinesis and dropping the quill. Damn you, sis, she thought in her mind. The fate of Equestria was threatened, as she shuddered and remembered the last time Celestia became... Molestia.

Then, it hit her. Why not send a letter to Spike? Spike was never far away from the Mane Six and she, like her sister, could send letters to Spike with alicorn magic, allowing him to burp out the sent letter in his green flames. She could keep the Mane Six updated about her whereabouts, so if an imperative task was at hand or important evidence showed up, she could inform them, which could give them further clues as to where she was. With desperation, Luna picked up the parchment with magic and rearmed her quill, furiously scribbling away at her letter. Turned out, she needed a bit more than one piece of parchment due to her outrageously large handwriting, and the table had parchment aplenty. She hoped that her abundance of letters wouldn't discomfort Spike as she sent them away with magic.

LELELELELEL

In the sewers of PonyVille, Spike was still tied up to his chair, but he was sinking into a large pile of literal horseshit, about a foot for every hour that passed. By then, Spike was already knee deep, and he was panicking hard as he sloshed about in the viscous pony poop. The smell was assaulting his sensitive dragon nose, and it was hell packed into a single scent. His claws were tied behind his back, unable to pinch his nose, or free himself for that matter. He struggled futilely at the ropes, thoughts of his mistress Rarity in distress at the hands of the cruel Stuart Dalton transcending his mind. Just then, his stomach rumbled, the familiar feeling of a letter from Princess Celestia rising up his oesophagus. He beamed in anticipation; there was hope at the end of the tunnel after all! Celestia was going to rescue Spike and put Dalton in chains. Spike did his best to push the letter out, but when the tiniest spark of green flame left his mouth, something else entirely greeted Spike's eyes.

*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPJJJJJJJJJJJJAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWWWWW*

A large explosion ensued, having energy equivalent to a fully packed Guns n' Roses concert. Though he was a dragon and was quite used to heat, the temperature was so strong that it singed off a couple of Spike's scales and threatened to boil his eyes in his sockets. His belly became blackened and scalded from the intense heat and the chair and ropes burnt off of him, and Spike felt close to death. Of course, introducing fire into a methane filled channel wasn't the most pragmatic approach if one wanted to escape safely. It seemed that Celestia was forcing him to burp out letters. Then, the same feeling invaded Spike's stomach, and his eyes widened in utter fear.

LELELELELEL

"There, 20 pieces of parchment should get the message through," said Luna, her horn exhausted from telekinesis.

LELELELELEL

(Warning: this part has been done under the influence of bad shrooms and good music. I think that I shall do so for every sequence containing the Mane Six.)
In the Gazepo, a bunch of IQ deficient horsefucks by the name of the Mane Six were gathered around the Gazepo, since they followed the advice of fucking kid horses. Quite expected really, from these whorses; I mean, look at Equestria Girls, they were gullible human pieces of shit who believed Cumset Jizzer's story by looking at a fucking photo cutout. And they accepted the friendship of this purple human stranger with a fucking talking dog whose purpose in life was to get his dog dong into Rarity's pale human pussy. Furthermore, they resolved their personal friendship conflicts by blaming everything on Cumset Jizzer, shallow much? Finally, FlashLight (or FleshLight?) is probably the worst canon ship ever; I mean, the dude got a fucking hard-on from touching Twicunt's hand and the bitch practically had a little orgasm at that time. Also, the animators try too fucking hard by making the characters blush to indicate feelings of love, to compensate for poor script writing, to pass off as shipping. I mean, there are hundreds of dedicated, awesome writers on FIMFiction that could dish out a script with a proper and deep love plot which would make people blush and D'awww at how adorable the shipping would be. On the other hand, the script writers of Equestria Girls should be taken back to elementary school and take basic literature and study for about 8 years on that topic alone, to know what makes a good, round luscious plot.

Anyway, back to the Gazepo. Not much to say, really. They just waited. Applejack ran all the way back to the farm to get some apple pie but no one had the appetite. Pinkie Pie threw a 'Come back to Equestria soon' party in which all of them rehearsed for the actual 'Our Saviour is actually back in Equestria party'. So yeah, it was pretty boring.

NEXT TIME: On Clopper In PonyVille. Will Spike be able to save the day? Will Luna stop sending Spike letters? Will Led Zeppelin take out Stuart Dalton in their quest for copyright? Will Molestia be back once and for all? STAY TUNED and be ready for the epic conclusion (or not, depends on my mood) for chapter 6: The Crystal Empire Strikes Back. Or something.

Author's Note

Disclaimer: The members of Led Zeppelin do not reside in a nursing home, nor is John Bonham an incarnation of Jesus. Led Zeppelin is not a band of bronies either. And no, Jimmy Page is not Michio Kaku. Furthermore, Lauren Faust is not a pony. I think? And Lauren Faust is married. I hope?

If this chapter doesn't get me a thousand views in a week, I shall have to end this series on the next chapter. It's been a great joy though!