T-T-T-Tia!

by Dash The Stampede

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 1288

Discord's latest prank on Celestia brings the Princess to see that the grass is definitely greener on her side. And her back. And her belly. Celestia is not amused. Luna is.

One day, after tearing apart dimensions, Discord stumbles across a small clay animal that seems to support plant life. He finds this amusing. Pranks ahoy!

Celestia wakes up to a very green morning...Wait, GREEN?

"DISCOOORD!"

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Published 2013-10-20 05:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-20 05:10:02 UTC

The Grass Is Most Assuredly Greener

Princess Celestia, Regent of the Sun, awoke this morning as she had to any other: numb from sleep and full of warm fuzzies and relaxation from the rejuvenating rest. She slowly opened her eyes and took in the darkened, pre-dawn bedchamber, with its flickering lamps flashing their firelight over her lush green coat. She sat up and began to yawn. Mid-yawn, Celestia paused.

'Wait...green coat?' she thought, looking down at herself. Sure enough, her once white coat was replaced by what appeared to be...no, it couldn't be, could it?

"Why in Tartarus am I covered in grass?" Celestia asked aloud, disbelief showing on her face.

Her entire midsection from her neck to the tops of her legs was coated in what looked like a patch of grass cut straight from the fields outside Canterlot, the blades no longer than two inches, and uniform around. As Celestia walked, the grass covering moved and shifted as though attached to her. She reached down and grabbed at the blades, attempting to pull them out. She was rewarded with a sharp tugging not unlike yanking somepony's mane.

"Ow! What in the hay? It's almost like it's growing out of me!" Celestia smirked. There's no way that'd be possible...unless..."LUNAAA!"

The door to her bedroom opened violently as Princess Luna ran through. "What danger have you encountered, sister? Is it..." Luna began, but trailed off as she saw the state Celestia was in. She put a hoof to her mouth and smiled like a schoolfilly. "We daresay the grass is most assuredly greener in your case, Tia." She broke down into raucous laughter.

"Luna! Is this another of your pranks?" Celestia fixed Luna with a stern glance. She was all too familiar with her sister's brand of humor. Luna didn't budge, instead she continued chuckling.

"May we have a taste, dear sister?" Grinning widely, Luna jumped onto Celestia's back. The latter tried desperately to fling the former off, but not before Luna snagged a mouthful of the grass on Celestia's side. She munched for a second, then her eyes lit up. "By the stars, this is the most delectable and tasty grass we've yet had! Give us more, Tia!" With that, she began another assault.

Celestia was ready. In a quick display of speed and prowess, Celestia sidestepped her sister and pinned her to the wall with magical restraints. "Now, Lulu, remember who can beat who in wrestle matches." Celestia sighed. From the way she was behaving, this was not Luna's doing. Celestia dropped the restraints, allowing Luna free movement.

"Would you care to explain, dear sister, how this came about?" Luna looked up to Celestia, concern showing for a brief moment before sliding back to hilarity.

"I haven't the slightest clue, Luna, I awoke, and I was covered in this odd grassy coat." Celestia scratched her side with a hoof. The grass made her itchy and uncomfortable, but her constant batting of Luna's hoof away from her side made it easier to ignore. "I can't think of how this came to be! No botched spells, Twilight didn't alter reality again, as far as we know, and Discord is..." She stopped.

One thing stood out to her. Discord. The one possible suspect; but how could it be? He was supposed to be helping Fluttershy with her Winter Wrap Up plans this week, he shouldn't be in the castle. And yet, here she was, with a fresh grass coat and no perpetrator in sight.

"DISCORD!" Celestia hollered throughout Equestria, a worldwide summons for the troublemaker supreme. She seethed inside. He hadn't pranked her or Luna in weeks, not after the last one left him trapped in the paintings in the castle halls, permitted access to only rooms with a portrait. However, the walls were silent and the flow of harmony uninterrupted.

A loud pop, followed by Discord's full weight being dropped onto Celestia's back, alerted the Princesses of his presence. He sat up and dug a hoof into Celestia's side.

"TALLY HO, SUNBUTT!" Discord shouted, now waving around a rubber chicken like a sword.

Celestia reared back and galloped off, tearing through the hallways and narrowly avoiding trampling the staff and visitors. She bucked and tried to teleport, but to no avail. Discord held on by a solitary blade of grass, as if taunting her, and chuckled loudly.

"Oh, you do make life that much more interesting, Celestia, so predictable, and yet, so wild," Discord spoke in Celestia's ear. "Enjoying the midnight snack, Princess?" He grabbed some of the grass and munched on it. "Oh, this IS good! Have some more, Luna!" He tore off some grass and handed it to Luna.

She chomped on it and turned her gaze to the torn area. It seemed to regenerate back to full size mere minutes after being cut. 'What manner of trickery is this?' she thought, peering closer to Celestia's side. The delectable treat just grew forever and never stopped! She could make use of this!

"Discord, may we discuss a few things with you?" Luna asked, holding open the door.

"Why certainly, Looney Luna!" He cackled back, following her out of the room.

Celestia stared at the door where she could hear hushed voices and chuckles echoing through. She tried to eavesdrop, but Luna had soundproofed the door. She sat and wondered what manner of pranks were headed her way in the foreseeable future from them both. She also wondered how best to punish Discord. Maybe she'd expand the Royal Gardens with a new plant sculpture. All in due time.

The door burst open and Celestia found herself under critical and maniacal gazes from both Discord and Luna as they returned.

"Oh, T-T-T-TIA!" Discord belted out in a sing song voice, carrying a watering can.

"We have plans for you, big sister!" Luna laughed, holding what appeared to be salad tongs in her magic.

Wide-eyed, Celestia tried to resist, but was quickly subdued. Restrained by magic, she found herself subject to a very thorough watering at the paws of Discord, and a constant clipping by Luna. Her bedchamber had essentially become a garden, grass clippings and water everywhere, while she was unable to stop the assault.

Luna gathered up the clippings and passed them to Discord, who snapped his fingers and created salads out of the Celestia-grass. They each took a bowl and ate the salad within. Both faces lit up and both bowls were emptied in a matter of seconds. Celestia squirmed as the grass regrew shortly after. This was not looking good.

"T-T-T-Tia! Get your Tia salad and custom Tia pet with each purchase of 5!" Discord called out to the crowd gathering in front of the palace. Ponies milled about, trying to see the stage where Luna and Discord had Celestia encased in a barrier. The grass was clipping off as it passed the barrier, and falling into waiting salad bowls. On a table nearby sat a bunch of clay models of the Princess, each with its own grass coat.

"Tia Pets only need water! and you can feed your cat, or snag a midnight snack!" Luna bellowed over the crowd.

Ponies pushed and shoved each other to try to reach the front. Bits flew overhead as Luna and Discord swam in pools of money, filling by the second. Luna and Discord high-hooved each other and slid their sunglasses into place.

"T-T-T-TIA!" they both bellowed.

Celestia sighed. It was going to be a long week.

Author's Note

So yeah. Came up with this after seeing that adorable cover art, and well, you see how that turned out.

Thanks for reading!

EDIT: fixed a few things pointed out to me, no major changes