The truth behind the mailmare
the story is 100% true, sent to me by a former comrade of mine by the name of Equestacia, the mother mare of all equestrians.
"Let this world come into being! Land, rise! Water, flow! Sky and clouds, rise! Let this world bear my name as will it's people, I name thee, EQUESTRIA!" a steel gray mare rumbles above a void of materials. The elements below her reply to her command, becoming a world. "Using these elements, I create 16 beings, from the land, 2 mares and 2 stallions, from the water I create 2 seamares and 2 seahorses (seeing as how seahorses(male) carry the children, she thought this was appropriate, but the ones she created were like amphibian horses), from the sky I create 4 pegasi and 4 unicorns, my children, roam around his world!".
As she commads the elements, the land releases mud, stone, and minerals creating two pairs of horses, the sea recedes, showing two pairs of seahorses, the first made of flotsam and jetsam, the second made of beautiful coral and lapis, the sky wove its winds into a pair of pegasi their wings made of the lightest of clouds, and molded the clouds into a pair of unicorns, their horns made from the north wind.
" Hmmm... I have asked the elements for beings, they gave, but they do not move" the steely mare ponders this, thinking about what is missing, when she remembers what her feline companion had done, to animate an army of kitties to aid in the rescue of their avian friend. She plucks a hair from her golden mane, and wraps, with the utmost care, the lifeless statues with a single hair. She then utters the words of the spell, with a voice in her head saying in unison, the words leaving her mouth with a voice not her own. As the words fall to the statues, they draw breath, open their eyes, and look up to their mother, their creator.
She watches, tired, and sleeps, but is awoken by the cries of her children, the children say in unison, "Mother, we are hungry, may we have food?" As she hears this, she askes the elements to provide her children with food, the elements agree and sprout grasses, flowers, wheat, barley, seaweed, algea, sponges, sky flowers, wind meal, and other basic foods. The great mare, still tired, creates from the stars and rocks, the sun and moon, so that the food may grow.
She then sleeps, for a day, but is awoken by the cries of her children once more, but at night "Mother, we apologize but we are cold, and their is no sun to warm us, will you give us warmth?" Rested, she asks the elements to create a source of warmth, from the land, hay rises, from the sea, glowing plants grow, from the sky, fire is given to those of all 3 dominions, but the water rejected it.
This went on for years, each day, something was created, literature, cooking, baking, other animals, safety, houses, castles, magic, ect. But each time something was created, Equestacia grew weaker, the luster left her deep, golden yellow eyes. A great unicorn wizard named Star Swirl The Bearded, felt this weakness, and using his mightiest magic, and his life force, to create a crystal orb of mystical power, but because he died upon its completion, nopony (snicker snicker, nopony, thats still a riot!) knew of it's purpose. His brother, Winkey The Odd, used magic of his own, but the magic made him desire eternal life, so after centuries of trying, he gained it, but the magic also stole his reason and form, making him into an amalgam of a unicorn, a stallion, a deer, a goat, a pegasus, a hawk, a lion, and a dragon. He grew insane, and took on a name befitting his form Discord, dissatisfied with the world, and found the orb his brother forged, and heard a strong voice in his head, it told him to put it into the form of a muffin. Who this voice was might be told later, using the last of her magic, Equestacia asked the four elements of creation to make six powerful spirits from her own soul, and to give each horse a mark and a power, (these would later become called "cutie marks") and these elements of harmony weakened discord, but could not kill him, this deed done, two servants of Discord, sisters, who carried a shard of discords hate and treachery came upon the exausted Equestacia, the youngest, a deep cobalt maned midnight mare bearing the mark of the moon, took the mind and soul of the mother mare to the moon, where it was her job to move the moon. The eldest, a white mare of pink hair bearing the mark of the sun whose job it was to raise the sun each day, took the empty shell of the mother mare and put a the soul of a soft-headed maid mare into it. Then the body was put to work in the castle, the hate inside the elder disipitatated from existance, and to protect the girl, she wiped the memories of being a servent, and gave her a name, an ancient one from a ponytale (pony tale?!! ahahahahahahahaha...hah...hah... phew!) "Ditzy Doo".
A FEW YEARS LATER
(around the time after "the doctor and the assistant" [which happened after "the power of three"] and immediately after the angels take manhatten)
" Sigh... I am so lonely... now what? The daleks have forgotten about me, the angels are virtually wiped out, nothing is wrong with the world right now..." the doctor mumbles, tearing off his bow tie, shedding his jacket, he weeps.
" Tissue?"
" (Sniffle) Thanks,(HONK!)" He blows into the tissue. " Hey... wait a second..." Drawing his screwdriver " Who are you?! How did you get in the TARDIS?!" he yells, obviously distressed.
" Hey now, is that any way to treat an old friend, you galifreyan deserter?" I say, mocking his manners.
Putting his screwdriver away " Oh, it's just you, what do you want?"
" No, it is what you want, I suggest you retreat to a place where your human forme is not such a burden, in a name, Equestria" I reply, bored.
" Equestria? You mean where I was a pony? Why would I go there?" He asks, incredulous.
" Wellllll... you have no choice in the matter Doctor" I reply, letting my smirk appear. " See you there, Doc!" I yell as I phase out of the TARDIS
" Wakey wakey, eggs and cakey" I cajole, pulling the doctor out by the mane.
" OWowowowowowowowwww!... stop that!, hey, why aren't you a pony?" He asks, rubbing his head
" Well, thats because I am not supposed to exist in this dimension, so, I take whatever form fits my fancy" I reply, rising.
now, for future reference I am 6'1", I have long, waist length white hair with black highlights and waves (like the stripe on charley browns' shirt) which I tuck under my shirt and pants, an over-sized black outer coat bursting at the pockets, a middle grey coat, and a inner white coat, which is over a black winter/summer kimono, a silver chain around my neck, traditional monster hunting boots, a sword at my side, four white wings, four black wings,(folded), cat ears, and glasses.
" Sorry doctor, but I am going to have to erase your memories" I apologize, grabbing his head.
" AAAaaaaaAAAAAAggghhhHH!!!!!" He screams as I stored his memories in the a new fob watch.
" Now that that is done, now to put some in" I say
As I deposite him in the museum below, next to he artifact, I sit up and say " So princesses, I got the doctor here, and manipulated his memories like you said, keep your promise and give me Equestacia's mind and soul!" I command the two allicorns beind me.
" As we promised, we give you her esscence" the dark one sighs, handing me a glowing sphere.
" Now what?" I ask the bright colored sister.
" Now? Now we wait" she speaks solelmly.
(derpy chronicals pages 1-4 or five but on devient art, can't find it again, wait! i found it!)
" Where are we going princess Luna?" Ditzy inquires, putting the crystal apple(WHY DID I PUT APPLE HERE INSTEADOF MUFFIN?! I crack me up! in fact while looking over this the first time, I found I did it two more times!) into her pocket.
" We are going to meet some old friends of ours." The princess explains quickly.
As they pass through a door, Derpy sees the pony from before, Princess Celestia, and a weird cat looking thing.
" Uh... Timeturner Right? Nice to see you again!"
" Well, I should certainly hope so! Seeing as how much trouble you caused! Now, give me back the apple!" (here too!) He snorts, holding out his hoof.
" Now now, Doc, you know she needs the apple (and here) for this" I interject, placing the glowing sphere on the table.
" Now derpy, please remove the apple (seriously!?) from your pocket and sit in front of this orb" I ask patting the cushion next to me.
" Thanks" she replies, sits down, and then looks at me " Why did you call Timeturner 'Doc'?"
" Well, thats because he's the doctor!" I reply, restoring her memories.
" Wait, the doctor?" she asks then recognition sparks across her face " DOOOCTOR!!!!<3<3<3<3<3" She screams, shooting off for a high-speed glomp.
" OOOF! CAN'T BREATH! Get off me!" He screams, choking between gasps as Ditzy nuzzles his chest, (choking him).
" Now Ditzy, stop crushing the Doctor!" I command, abbandoning the soft approach.
" Awwwwwww... but I haven't seen him in 8 months!" she whines.
" Now, let us continue with the Cerimony, this is the TRUE story of the birth of Equestria..." I begin, recounting the first part of this story.
" That empty vessel, was you Ditzy Doo, that muffin, was a failsafe created to allow the mind and soul to return to the body and resume god-like abilities" I finish, pulling a gulp out of my water canister. " But, if I were to do so, your soul would be ejected and the being known as 'Ditzy Doo' would cease too exist.
" WAIT, WHAT?! I'm gonna die!?!?!?!?" she screams, crying.
" No, not in such words, your esscence would leave your body, uncontained like in one of my spirit jars, it would slowly decay like a radioactive ion of hydrogen in a sun... except without the principal of half-life" I explain " But I have a horse doll, that would transform into a new body, but it may not work, or may work... I dunno, which ever works I suppose, also in order to put your escence into the new body I will need Luna, Celestia, the two doctors and Twilight Sparkle" I explain ushuring in the two new guests.
" Okee dokee... the moon is red and the dragon is stone... let us begin."
" Guidance, world of flames, world of wind, cross over into the nexus of space! Five broken bonds, six rivers flow in reverse! The truth is free, allow the spear of hope to penetrate the stars! Forbidden transmutation spell 河川の逆転写! (Kasen no gyaku tensha) (reverse river transfer)"
As the spell is finished, the orb of mind and soul flows in to the crystal muffin, which releases a rainbow prism beam of light that envelopes Ditzy.
" Okay princesses, focus your energy on the grey ball if light! Doctors, focus the beams of your screwdrivers onto the spirit orb and Twilight, put a spirit barrier around the spirit orb!" I command, focusing on the transfer spell.
" How is this even possible?!?!" the Doctors say in unison, lowering the ball to the doll.
" A great person once said that 'Magic is science we do not understand yet or are not meant to understand'" I reply, finishing the spell.
" And who was that?!" The bouncy Doctor asks.
" Beats me, I like the quote though" I reply signaling Twilight to end her spell.
" ---py... Derpy... Derpy, can you hear me?!" a voice calls, sounds like the Doctor...
" Hungh? D-Doctor? What's going on? What happened, am I dead?" Ditzy asks, heavy lidded.
" Quick, how many fingers am I holding up?" The Doctor asks.
" Doctor, you don't have any fingers... silly Doctor... (Sigh)" she sighs, giggling lightly.
"Derpy?! Derpy! Don't die Derpy..." the Doctor whines.
"Aw, stop your blubbering, she needs rest, because wouldn't you if your spirit were just put into a new body?" I reply, slapping the Doctor.
"Thank you all for giving me my body back, but most of all, I wish to thank you Mutsumi Youkai" She turns, looking at me.
"They call me kitty here your ass-liness" I say, smirking.
"Ah, yes, your verbal barbs are still as venomous as ever 'kitty'"
Author's Note
wow, i know this is long, but boy! i enjoyed reading it!
