Ponies on Ponies

by Ravenmane

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human
Length: 40079

When science goes awry, sometimes Pinkie's fourth wall breaking skills break in their own ways...

When science goes awry sometimes Pinkie's fourth wall breaking skills break in their own ways...

If you enjoyed my story, feel free to carry over into the sequel: Ponies on Bronies. If you just finished I have a link at the TBC on the last chapter that links to the sequel.

The following link goes to the original: Archived Ponies on Ponies.

This story is rated EL (Every Luna) for mild language and emo Dash.

It has also come to my attention, after nearly a year, that Ponies on Ponies showed up on an episode of The Brony Book Club regarding Pinkie Pie and was incorrectly cited. Said episode can be found here, head to the end if you wish to find out what this story isn't. Head up to about 49 minutes.

Published 2012-03-04 13:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-11 21:24:53 UTC

2 - My Little Arrivals

I wasn’t average, I never knew what average was until I went to college. At the time, it all seemed so nice, so relaxing, and it was right. Not the college thing, or the average thing either. It’s what happened when I began to write something one day. What happened that one day changed my entire life. You see, it all began when the most peculiar guests visited me…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Now Pinkie, can you see the window now?” Twilight looked to her friend with vested interest. The last time she had hooked the party pony up to this machine it was to try to figure out her “Pinkie Sense.” This time Twilight had invited her friends to the vested attempt to find out something about Pinkie Pie. Everypony was concerned once Pinkie was getting Lyra interested in the alleged window she was able to see. Each was strange enough on their own, but together they could cause a major incident if even one pony were to believe them about this thing.

“No only some text forming in frame,” Pinkie replied as the machine began to spit out unusual information. “Hey, whoever it is they’re talking about Lyra!”

“Alright everypony, I’m going to try the spell so we can see what Pinkie’s seeing.”

At the time, I was unaware of Twilight’s master plan. All I was thinking about was writing a fanfic, not what happened next. A sudden electrical surge echoed across my screen and then I saw it, saw them staring at me. “Well,” I continued to stare at the blinking ponies, “this is awkward.” In my defense, it was taking all of my willpower not to panic. I was being a fair sport about it too, trying to delude the fact that I was staring at six ponies and a baby dragon. I didn’t have the best of fuel to maintain this delusion. Too many sleepless nights working and copious amounts of energy drinks were already eating away at what could pass for my attention.

After a few moments of silence and a very confusing staring contest between eight pairs of eyes, most being pony eyes, a second surge echoed across my screen. After that, I wasn’t exactly sure what happened but something yellow was covering my face. I know my chair hit the floor, I heard it, and I could also feel the lump on the back of my head; I couldn’t tell much else. All that helped me was the sense of pain and a very small crack of light in the periphery of my left eye.

I heard a squeal and the field of yellow moved out of my way, but not before allowing me to catch a glimpse at the three pink butterflies on it. After trying to figure out what happened I looked to see a large machine in my living room, something that wasn’t there before. “I’m sorry, but I’m with a client or otherwise indisposed right now. Please leave your name, number, and a preferred time for me to get back to you.” That was all I could say to stave off the confusion, panic, considerable urge to scream at the top of my lungs, and that I had Fluttershy on top of me a few seconds ago. It was cold and monotone, matching my deadpan stare; clearly not the best first impression.

“Takin’ this pretty good sugarcube?” Applejack’s voice seemed to snap some sense back into my mind. It allowed confusion to settle back and give some expression to my face.

“He’s taking this good,” Rainbow Dash screamed, “I’m surprised anypony’s taking this good! I’m shocked at how well Fluttershy’s taking this.” She pointed a hoof to the hyperventilating yellow pegasus curled up behind Rarity.

“Don’t worry,” I said, my face still chalk white. “I’m just in shock. I can show something more than confusion after I can pull myself together.” Slowly I sat up so I could look at my company better.

That had done it. It riled Fluttershy’s attention enough for her to snap out of her worry on instinct. “There now,” her voice was soft and motherly as she rubbed my back softly. “Just take a few deep breaths and get up when you feel like you can.” I have to admit, she snapped to it faster than I could imagine but I could feel her shaking hoof as she rubbed my back. Fluttershy, despite her fear, was displaying considerable willpower in order to ease everyone’s combination of confusion and alarm.

I couldn’t think past the soft words reaching my ear though. I took a few deep breaths and stood up. “Could I interest anyone in a cup of tea?” Tea always helped me and making some for everyone would help me out more than anything else at the moment.

A smile greeted me from Fluttershy, now looking up to me. “Oh, yes please. Let me help you, I’m sure we all could use something to drink right now.” I moved towards the kitchen, a three and a half foot tall yellow and pink pegasus following me closely.

*****

After we reached the kitchen, I filled the kettle and set it on the oven. “So, did Pinkie do something or do I have Twilight to blame for this unusual turn of events?” I tried to remain calm. If I learned anything about Fluttershy, it was to remain calm at all times. While quick to startle, she was mostly even-tempered and was, in my opinion, the mildest among the ‘Mane Six’.

“There’s some fault with all of us. That is if you wanted to know what it was.” I heard a brief click as she gently kicked a hoof along the floor.

I just nodded, doing my best to show some level of understanding; I could get the whole story later. “Will anyone, err anypony, want sugar Fluttershy?”

She backed away a little when I said her name. “I would like some, two scoops please. I think Rarity may want some as well. Do you want me go and ask them?”

“Please do and thank you for helping me compose myself. I really needed that helping… um… hoof.” I didn’t notice her blush before she left. I simply waited for the water to come to a boil and flip through a thick index of herbal mixtures.

“Let’s see… panic, panic, I know it’s in here… ah, panic attacks.” I opened a large box fastened to the wall to reveal several containers, each labeled with a different herb. “I’ll need one teaspoon of dried lavender and three teaspoons chamomile.” I measured out the two carefully and closed the box up. I’ll need more chamomile soon, no doubt I’ll need to make a lot more of this blend.

*****

“He’s taking things better overall than I expected,” said Twilight, her face was showing what her tone was trying to hide, her alarm. She was busy unhooking Pinkie from her machine, trying to keep herself occupied with the simple process by taking it slowly.

“Darling, he was just looking for a reason to leave us.” Rarity told her in a harsh tone. She too was trying not to display her fear. She was at least succeeding far better than Twilight.

“C’mon Rare,” Rainbow was trying to sound supportive. “He’s doing well for having a half dozen ponies popping up outta nowhere.”

“Yeah, if I were in his hooves I’d be screaming and having a super massive panic attack!” Everyone turned to look at Pinkie Pie. Oddly enough, the party pony was disturbingly calm about everything.

“Shoot Pinkie Ah suppose you read mah mind there,” Applejack was also being supportive.

“Um girls,” Fluttershy said as she returned, “who would like sugar in their tea?”

“Three scoops for me,” chirped the party pony.

“None for me Fluttershy,” replied Twilight as she worked on unhooking Pinkie to the machine.

“Me neither,” added Rainbow.

“A little milk if at all possible dear,” said Rarity.

“None fer me Fluttershy,” stated Applejack.

All eyes were on Spike now. “Two scoops please.” A scowl on Twilight’s face made him wince. “I’m sorry, I-I mean one.”

*****

Shortly after Fluttershy returned, so too did I with everyone’s drink. “Please ladies, Spike, take a seat.” I put my computer chair up and sat there. “I’m sorry Rarity but I couldn't add milk to your tea.”

“But why,” she asked in an overly dramatic whine.

“I chose to favor a specific herbal blend. Much like how everyone else has honey instead of sugar, it conflicts with the blend and it’s traditional application.”

“And what is that exactly,” Twilight asked curiously.

“To alleviate anxiety and stress. Now then, what brings all of you to this side of the screen?”

“Oh,” Pinkie had her hoof in the air, waving it like a ten-year old trying to get some attention.

I gave her a gentle nod of my head and took a sip of the very soothing blend.

“See, Twilight hooked me up to this machine again,” she pointed to the mad scientist contraption, “and tried to figure out what I was staring at. I tried to explain to everypony that I saw this screen every week in Ponyville. Only Lyra seemed to take it in any serious stride. Then, when I saw it again after being hooked up Twilight cast some weird spell-”

“The third eye spell,” muttered an agitated Twilight.

“-so they could see what I saw but something must have been wrong since we’re all here now.” She finished, completely ignoring Twilight’s correction. Each word she said with her all too familiar unwavering smile. That one you can’t help but smile with when you see it.

“Of course,” I exclaimed with a devilish smirk and liberal doses of sarcasm, “that makes perfect sense.” I calmly took another sip of tea and recomposed myself. “To Pinkie at least, of course the rest of us would be a little confused somewhere along the way. No offense Pinkie, but I think I speak for everyone when I say that we don’t always understand you.”

“That’s okay silly, I don’t understand myself all the time.”

“Regardless of why everyone’s here, I think my home can fit all of you. As long as long as everyone doesn’t mind sharing a room then I think we have enough room.”

“You sure it’s all right sugarcube? We don’ want to be intruding.” Applejack’s voice rang with a very modest concern. Right then, it made my skin crawl.

“No it’s fine,” I politely lied. I enjoyed my solitude sometimes and Pinkie Pie alone would probably begin to drive me up the walls within the week. “My parents left me this house. We can’t raise our voices too loud or be too rowdy because of my neighbors. Is everyone ok with that?” Seven heads nodded. “Alright then, everyone finish your tea and I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping while we try to get you all back home.”

“If you don’t mind,” Twilight broke the silence while we all drank. “Could we see what you see when you look into our world?”

I smiled. “In the morning Twilight, I promise.” Well, unless I have the opportunity to sleep in, I added silently. Sometimes it was my guilty pleasure to just say ‘screw it’ and snooze until three and after some nights I needed it.

*****

After showing everyone around my home, I showed them all to their rooms. I was left an old house fit for a large family. Four bedrooms in total, two on the second floor and two on the third. To keep things simple that meant two to a room, as long as there were no complaints. “So, is there anyone who wants to preferably be with anyone else?”

“If you don’t mind, could Spike stay with you?” Twilight sounded like the calm voice of reason. Either that or she wanted to play chaperone. Despite her motives she seemed more herself now. I may follow it but I don't exactly trust the ‘Ancient Chinese Secret’ schtick. That just means I didn't trust it being the tea though.

“Twilight, you want some time away from Spike right?” A curt nod from the lavender unicorn was all I got for a reply. “Okay Spike, we’ll take the room at the end of the hall then. My brother might not like it, but we’ll take his room.”

Spike merely looked up at me, a helpless look in his eyes. “He won’t like it?”

“That’s right, but he’s on a different continent right now, well at least his last letter said that he was. He won’t have leave for a good three months, so we can worry about it then.” America worked my little brother hard, but he claimed to enjoy it. “He’s got bunk beds so go ahead and pick whichever one you want.”

“Alright then,” and off the baby dragon went.

“I have to finish some work downstairs. Can I count on the rest of you to pick a bedroom?”

“You sure as sugar can,” replied Applejack. “Ah hope you get ta bed soon though. Can’t have you sleep all day.”

“My name’s Alex. I can’t have everyone just saying ‘you’ all the time.” I took a deep breath and smiled. “Good night everypony,” I added cheerfully before I went back downstairs. It felt weird at first to say everypony. For a moment, as I stepped off the staircase, I realized something. I liked saying it. Despite it probably destroying my grammar, it felt right.

*****

The minutes seemed to go by slowly, until I saw the clock and noticed that it was now pushing two in the morning. I had returned to my computer, the very short fanfic, if three sentences counted as fan fiction. The basis of a story had been saved and, in its place, there was a notice about files being transferred from one drive to another. Since one, the notice has said that there was an estimated time of thirty minutes left. The entire time…

It started as a hobby, but I was taking to the occasional file recovery and frequent computer repair simply enough. The annoying parts were all the waiting for files to finish or parts to come in, and clients coming in to pick them up. Ads were all over downtown, in the newspaper, on local sites, the works but it didn’t stop the work from going slowly. I mostly worked at home and met with my clients to formalize exactly what they wanted before doing anything for them. I had fair rates and did a good job.

After the tenth cup of coffee, not to mention the two Monsters and one of those five-hour energy bottles, I was sure that sleeping at the computer was going to be my fate that night. I had everypony head to bed around eleven and I was dead tired from restraining my reflex to completely lose it halfway between a freak out and a fangasm. It didn’t stop me from making sure everything went as planned on the computer, or the awkward nudging of a cyan hoof.

“Um, I just wanted you to know Fluttershy’s stopped crying Alex.” Rainbow looked like she was trying her hardest to look tough enough to cope with the situation. “She’s worried about everything.”

Just about all I could do in my excessively sleepy haze was smile and look down at her. “She finally broke down then?”

“Uh huh. Applejack and I managed to get her into bed then she just started crying into a pillow and everyone tried to let her have a little space.”

“She’s scared, away from all her animals, in a whole different world, and in some stranger’s home. If I was in her place I’d be scared too.”

“Yeah,” she replied with a dismissive wave of a hoof.

“Rainbow, it’s just us down here. You can tell me if something’s bothering you.” I wasn’t asking for her to just break down, cry, and spill out her soul. I just wanted her to speak her mind without having to show her usual bravado.

She recoiled, her wings flared and a determined look in her eyes. “I don’t think it’s your fault if you think that’s bothering me.”

I had no energy for an argument so I just droned on in a passive analytical tone. “You want to blame someone and would feel bad if you blamed one of your friends right?”

Rainbow looked like she was on the verge of crying, but it just never came as she nodded at me.

“Nobody’s at fault, not really at least. Rainbow Dash, sometimes things just happen. Then again, I’ve never seen anything this strange happen before but that’s not the point.” I managed to get a feeble smile from her. “I know it looks boring but this is what I do for a living.”

“You help other ponies with gateways?”

I gave a feeble chuckle, the concept of no computers in Equestria seemed too fitting to me. “No, I help people keep their computers working, I can explain later if you want. Anyways, it’s boring work but it pays the bills.” I slipped out of my chair, got onto my knees and gave her a hug. I didn’t want to do something like invade her space, but I still wanted to show that I wanted to be comforting. “Don’t worry I’m sure we’ll get you all back soon. In the meantime I’d really like to be friends with everyone.”

The cyan pegasus smiled and sniffled as she returned the hug as best as she could. “That’d be great. And thanks for cheering me up a little.”

This is a good start, I thought. Then again, something in all of this should bite me in the ass eventually. “My pleasure Rainbow, I want to help you all as best I can. Now, run along to bed this should be done soon.”

“Can I just wait a little more Alex?” As I nodded, she smiled as broadly as she could and nudged a chair over to my side.

A short while later, if three thirty could really be considered ‘short,’ I was carrying her up to her room, tucking her in next to a still sniffling Fluttershy. After kissing Fluttershy gently on the cheek and wiping a tear from her eye, I left them and went down to my brother’s old room; falling asleep almost at the very instant I made contact with the mattress.

For now, they were under my watch. As Celestia as my witness, I was going to keep an eye on these little ponies as best as I could. After all, I could be responsible. This wouldn’t be responsible in a ‘taking care of a pet’ way, but more of a ‘I have guests foreign to the area’ way.

Even in my slumber I knew that eventually they would leave. I didn't care if I would get close to any of them though. Sadness and joy are parts of life and I felt like I wouldn't really be alive without getting to know them somewhere along the lines.

3 - Friendship Is Magic

It felt like I was asleep only for an instant before being nudged by Applejack. “C’mon Alex, it’s getting on noon and you should be wakin’ up.”

I responded by just turning over in my sleep. “It’s all a dream,” I muttered.

“Now look here, Ah didn’t want to do this sugar, but Ah’m gonna have ta.” She turned around on the spot and moved calmly to the door. “Okay Pink, you give it a shot.”

I bolted awake the instant I felt something very wet on my ear. Something wet being Pinkie’s tongue. Now wide-awake, I could see the clock showing eleven twenty four. “I swear on a baker’s dozen of jumbo triple chocolate cupcakes that I’m awake now Pinkie!”

Pinkie seemed to take this more serious than I expected, she even saluted. I got the Evil Eye from her a second later, as if she thought I wasn’t serious. Truth is I would take something like baked goods seriously with the pink mare. As far as I could guess in addition to working at Sugarcube Corner, she lived either nearby or in a guest room. However, with her job done Pinkie Pie vanished back to some unknown part of the house.

As I sat up, I saw Applejack staring at me. “This is no dream right?” I stretched a little and did my best to maintain eye contact. I made a mental note to have a fit later on, probably excuse myself to dive and get some fresh air and find a quiet place out in the middle of nowhere to get it out of my system.

“No it ain’t,” replied Applejack plainly.

“Is everyone awake already?”

“Spike’s still sound asleep,” she answered with a grin. She pointed a hoof to the top bunk. Sure enough, his snoring verified that.

“In your honest opinion, does that count often?”

“Ah’ve only seen him up in the mornin’ when he’s running errands for Twilight.”

I got up and made for the doorway. “Okay, I’ll take a shower and change my clothes. Then we can all talk. Where is everypony?”

“How in the hay do you think Ah know?” A scowl was growing on the farmer’s face.

“You care a lot about your friends right Applejack?” My question was followed quickly by a yawn and turning on the bathroom light switch.

“Well, yeah but not enough to busy myself with their whereabouts.”

I furrowed my brow and put on my best thinking face. “Let’s see, I’m willing to wager Twilight’s in the study. Rainbow’s outside flying, hopefully out of the sight of my neighbors. Rarity’s probably making sure she looks perfect in front of a mirror. I’m not sure about Fluttershy, but my guess is she’s interested in the local wildlife. To be blunt it consists of a few squirrels, a rabbit burrow in the back yard, some chipmunks, and a few birds. Pinkie is a little too unpredictable for me to take an accurate guess, but she might be pretty well adjusted to everything.”

The wheels were turning in Applejack’s head as she tried to piece it all together. “Now how do you figure all of that?”

“All shall be clear after I’ve gotten dressed. Now, if you’ll excuse me I’d like to take my shower now.” I closed the door and calmly went to take a quick shower. I don’t want to be a bad host, I thought as the warming water blasted on my head, I’ll just have to excuse myself so I can vent.

*****

After getting dressed, I went looking for everyone. Sure enough, I found Twilight in the study and looked out the window. I looked out along the yard and saw a yellow pegasus talking to some birds. I turned to look at Twilight with a content smile. “How about we assemble everyone in the living room? I can try to answer some questions then.”

Twilight finally looked up at me from reading A Study in Scarlet. “Everypony’s been waiting to hear that.”

“Enjoying the detective stories?”

Twilight nodded, “I’m enjoying this book.”

“Sherlock Holmes, my father’s favorite stories were Sir Arthur’s. I’m more of a LeBlanc fan though.” I calmly moved over to the bookshelf and pulled a copy of The Eight Strokes of the Clock out. I also stared a little at the first edition nearby in a locked glass display. “He loved the detective while I favored the thief.”

“Not on good literary terms with him then?”

“Oh yes, an unusual sort of enemies were Holmes and Lupin, especially with Sir Arthur and LeBlanc using the crudest form of adding the other’s character into their story.” I smiled and passed Twilight the book. “Let’s read a little after this okay?”

“Yes, it’s just a lot to take in. I’m not in the library, not in Ponyville, not even in Equestria,” she turned up at me with a worried look. “How are you taking this so well?”

“I was always told to be a good host and keep a level head.” Twilight gave me a skeptical look. “It isn’t as easy as it looks. I’m still freaking out, I want to stay hospitable so I’m trying to avoid showing it. Is this how you’re coping with it?”

Twilight nodded. “It helps, but I guess we’ll all have to get used to it while I try to figure out how to get us home. Will you need some time alone to just let it all out?”

“I’d like that a lot.” I sat down next to her and wrapped an arm around her neck nervously. I wasn’t sure how close I could get without endangering her personal space but I wasn’t sure at all. “We can figure this out. I’ll do everything I can to help you Twilight.”

She smiled calmly. “Thank you Alex but could you remember to give a pony some space?”

I recoiled a little from her. “Sorry, I just- I mean, I don’t just know how to act around another species. It’s really hard to get very reasonable cues. I mean-”

“I know, just I’d like a little space and I think everypony will want some as well.”

I nodded. “I got it. Now, is Pinkie adjusting well Twilight?”

“Better than nearly anypony but I think it’s because she already knew about your world.”

“Who's adjusting better," I asked as curiosity came to the forefront of my mind. After all, somebody was adjusting better than Pinkie, who seemed to have some degree of knowledge about our world.

“Rainbow Dash, she said being friends with you would be awesome.” She sighed. “I think that would be nice but it’s just…”

“Yeah, you’re here and I’m trying to keep you all safe so it’s just sort of a necessity. Right now, we'll need everyone together so I can explain some things so let's get going.”

“Sounds like a good idea. I’ve been wracking my brain about that while I was reading.”

*****

Twilight and I got up and headed downstairs, I had chosen to grab binoculars and scarf from my room before heading downstairs. Pinkie was in the living room already, staring at the currently off television. “Know how it works Pinkie,” a fair question considering who I was talking to.

“Yep,” she replied cheerfully. “Dashie saw the weather report and wanted to try and make sure it happened on time.”

That was something I was sure would happen after discovering a weather report. For Rainbow, that would take some getting used to. “Fluttershy’s in the backyard, but where’d Applejack go?”

“She went out to look around the house dear,” said Rarity from behind me, her perfectly styled mane was brushing against my hand as she passed and took a seat near Pinkie.

“Twilight,” I turned to the purple unicorn, “could you please try to wake up Spike?”

“And what if he doesn’t want to Alex?” Twilight’s curious look met my grin.

“Can you bring him down with magic if that’s the case? I’d like everyone to be here so we don’t have to explain it a few times.” After she nodded, I went for the front door; time to get the outdoor ponies. After grabbing a jacket and adjusted my scarf I went outside, it was a little chilly today and the last thing I wanted was Fluttershy insisting I stay in bed until I got better.

*****

To my neighbors I was just the eccentric who lived in the ‘old house on the hill,’ but it didn’t stop me from going down into town from time to time. I wouldn’t exactly call it a town though, but you live far enough from the center of a city and you just start calling it one.

Gazing up through binoculars, I looked around for the cyan pegasus trying to keep today sunny. It was rather hard finding her against a nearly clear sky but I found her clearing a cloud eventually, after all, clouds don’t simply vanish in an instant on Earth. Well, unless I missed the memo that we could manipulate the weather so quickly. I didn’t right? I knew I wasn’t going to get her attention without help so I went into the backyard.

I found Applejack relaxing under an old oak tree and Fluttershy talking to the rabbits. It was weird seeing ponies adjusting, but what was weirder was knowing they’d startle within an hour’s time. Like many bronies before me, I had read My Little Dashie, among other stories. What I learned from it was that it is best to get Friendship is Magic out in the open quickly lest I get a thrashing from at least some of them. Twilight was involved, so I had to move as fast as I could to reveal that kind of thing before it got too uncomfortable.

As I got close to Fluttershy, the rabbits scurried off to their burrow. “Oh, please don’t go,” Fluttershy called as the rabbits went off.

“I’m sorry for scaring them but it’s time Fluttershy,” I said calmly. She let out an adorable squeal at the sound of my voice but turned around and nodded. “Could you please get Rainbow for us? I’d rather not have to repeat everything.”

“Okay, but it’ll be hard getting her away from clearing the sky.” She was so cute when she looked flustered.

“I think if you tell her I said it’s really important then she’ll listen.” After nodding, Fluttershy flew off to try to convince Rainbow to stop clearing the sky. My job now rested in getting Applejack to stop enjoying the sunny day. I was envious of Fluttershy’s task the instant I thought about it.

“So, you’re gonna explain some things to us sugar?” Applejack’s question was out of her mouth the second my shadow got close to her.

“Yeah, it’ll be short if nopony has many questions. I doubt it, but I’ve been surprised enough times to know I can be seriously wrong.”

Applejack calmly got up and adjusted her hat. “Well, Ah can hope it’s quick.”

“Like the shade under the tree a lot?”

“Helps, but Ah want to get back and help around the farm.”

“I know, and I’m sure Twilight and I would like all the help we can get. In the meantime I’d like to be everyone’s friend, that alright?”

“You cold Alex,” she asked as we walked back towards the house. “Ah only ask cause you’ve got a scarf an a jacket.”

“Well, it might be easier if I had a nice coat like you girls. I’d also like to explain without Fluttershy forcing me to stay in bed because I caught a cold or something.”

*****

Everyone was watching me hook everything up in silence while we waited for Fluttershy to bring back Rainbow Dash. I think we’ll need to work the weather pony reflexes out of her for a little while. Anyways, it was a routine connection, done it thousands of times, but after what happened I did everything precisely.

Rainbow’s objecting voice could be heard soon enough. “The box said clear and sunny today,” The property wasn’t exactly big, but most people ignored a fair share of noise. Granted, the property encompassing wall and single ominous gate helped a fair deal in that department.

“Because Alex asked nicely Rainbow, so please come inside,” Fluttershy pleaded.

I noticed every set of eyes on me as I facepalmed. At least Fluttershy was trying, and that was all I could ask for. To be perfectly honest, I’m just happy it didn’t take anywhere close to as long as it could’ve. “I should teach Rainbow the difference between the weather here and the weather in Equestria right?” Five heads nodded in response. “I’m just not sure how bad she’ll take it.” As the pair came into the living room, Rainbow darted towards me, flying up so she could stare at me, eye to eye.

“It’s supposed to be clear and sunny today, why did you want me to stop doing my job?” Rainbow was so rattled that I couldn’t tell if she was mad or worried.

“Rainbow Dash please relax,” I tried to sound as reassuring as I did the prior night. “Weather on Earth doesn’t need to be tended to, humans are often wrong about the weather. Besides, I thought you wanted to see how we, humans that is, see into your world.”

Rainbow nodded vacantly, words failing her completely. In our world she was jobless and there were no Wonderbolts, the walls were coming down completely now. After getting out of my face, she sat down and just cried into my shoulder. “My life is over! How will I get noticed by anypony if I’m here?”

“Rainbow we-” I had started but she was quick to interrupt me.

“This is so not cool!”

I turned to face her and wrapped her in a tight hug. “Rainbow!” With a sniffle, she looked up to me. “We’re going to try to get you home as soon as possible so don’t worry so much. I promise.”

She sniffled again and nodded. She went to pieces so fast it scared me, but at least she was recovering just as quickly. Unfortunately, her recovery also scared me.

I glanced to Pinkie. “I Pinkie promise.” I stuck my hand out and went through the motions as I spoke, “cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my ey- ouch.” How can I do that with fingers and not hurt myself, I wondered in pause before saying “eye” so she knew I meant to finish what I started.

“Okey dokey lokie,” Pinkie said slowly. I can understand why she was hesitant as she glared at me. “You do know what happens when you break a Pinkie promise right?”

“I’m in the worst trouble I could possibly be in and then some right?” I only received a stern look from her, but I knew I was right. “You never, ever break a Pinkie Promise,” I glanced at Applejack, “isn’t that right Applejack?”

All eyes soon followed me as Applejack tried to hide her face behind her Stetson.

I would do anything to get them home. I may miss them more than anything when they leave, but I knew they belonged in Equestria. None of them deserved to be locked up here with me for the rest of their lives.

After Rainbow calmed down more and Pinkie stopped glaring at a very nervous Applejack, probably still waiting for her to confess, I clicked the mouse I left on the end table next to my seat. I thought just starting with the first two episodes would be enough for now.

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting the giant dish eyes from Twilight during the intro song. There wasn’t any emotion there except perhaps confusion, she was becoming harder and harder to read with each passing second of the episode. It would be funny if I didn’t want her to pay attention. Pinkie was completely different, watching like she was already a rabid fan. I was overjoyed that it was Pinkie that turned Twilight’s head around so she would watch the episode instead of staring vacantly at me.

*****

I was met with only one objection when I paused between the two episodes. Thankfully, Applejack was kind enough to pry Rainbow off my neck, the latter demanding I let it continue.

“What do you all think,” I asked once I regained my ability to speak.

“Oh!” In the blink of an eye, Pinkie’s hoof was in the air. “I figured out which screen you are! I can kinda see details, but I know which screen’s yours now. Except you don’t have golden eyes like you do on your screen, just those dull grey ones.”

My quizzical look was shared by everyone at least so at least I didn’t feel like I was alone. I knew better than ask, this was Pinkie Pie after all. “Anyone else have something to say?”

“That was rather short,” said Rainbow. “But it hits everything that happened that day Alex.” She was a little jittery, but far calmer than about a minute earlier when she was choking the life out of me.

“Well, except for Pinkie sneakin’ us into the library before Twilight returned,” Applejack added calmly. She was still restraining Rainbow some, but was slowly relaxing her hold on the ever energetic pegasus.

“And Twilight’s mane was far messier,” added Spike. He was so quiet until then that he could’ve faded into the background and snuck up on anybody he wanted. Because he drew attention to himself however, he stuck out like a sore thumb. “What, it was.”

“Oh yes I have to agree Spike,” Rarity was quick to support her Spikie-wikie. “Why it took forever to fix her mane, but she insisted on leaving it in that bookish style.”

“Yes, well, at least it hit all the important notes and introduced everypony for the audience.” Twilight didn’t want to continue the subject on her mane, instead she remained fascinated by the work of the show itself. “Everything’s a bit brighter than it actually is in Equestria but that aside I really want to see how they handled the conflict with Nightmare Moon.”

At the very mention of Nightmare Moon, Fluttershy gave a yelp and hid her face behind a pillow. As soon as Fluttershy removed herself from behind the pillow, I clicked the mouse again and let it play part 2. Even Fluttershy was eager to see how everything played out, more so after the manticore scene.

At the episode’s conclusion there was applause from the girls, and Spike of course. Twilight still looked like she was prepared to watch it over and over again so she could be as critical about it as can be. Instead, she asked an inevitable question. “Is there more?”

I nodded. “Several episodes, we could be here a while if we watch all of it at once.”

“When can we see more Alex?”

I thought about it carefully. “How about we watch two a day until we catch up? I’m up for a marathon if we figure out how to get everyone in their proper world though. That sound fair everybody?” A slew of content nods answered me. If we get caught up and they're still here then it turns into one episode a week. I don’t think the more impatient ponies will take that transition well but what can you do?

Before I had time to think of a better plan there was a buzzing noise that startled more than just Fluttershy. Someone was down at the gate. Was it really time already? I quickly looked to the clock, ten to five. I got up slowly, my legs felt like they were made of rubber. I slowly walked into the hall and pressed a button next to a speaker. “Yes, what can I do for you today?”

“Hey Al,” I knew that voice in an instant. It was a very regular customer’s voice, Sparky. “Came for my drive, everything fine?”

I restrained myself, it was only Sparky after all. He called nearly once a month, needing me to fix something for him. If he wasn’t so insistent to pay me my full rates I’d give him a discount. It was just the kind of guy Sparky was. “Yeah, I’ll buzz you in Sparky, everything’s all set for you.” I hit the button to open the gate.

I looked into the living room and smiled, “it’s just one of my customers. He likes to call himself Sparky and he’ll just be here for a moment. I’d rather not shock him by letting everypony meet him. That would be a story I’d rather not have to explain to him.” Adding to that the fact that if it got out that I had ponies here my home would be a brony hotspot.

I went to my computer and grabbed his new hard drive, the old one was virtually impossible to get anything off, I managed some of it, but it wasn’t easy. I wasn’t even sure anything I did would work until it just… did. I knew Sparky couldn’t keep a secret, even if he was the unintentional spark of my movement into the herd.

I met him at the door and he paid me. “Try to keep this stuff down Sparky, you could buy a great computer if you weren’t always sinking money into making me fix your old one.”

“And make you get bored Al?” He brushed some of his hair out of his face and grinned. “Not on your life. Hey, you have someone in there already? I mean I saw the drapes moving a bit over there. You know, like someone watching the driveway.”

“Seeing things now Sparky?” I didn’t waver, trying my hand at the one acting class in college to pretend to have an inhumanly straight face. For the record, I nearly failed that class.

“Nah man I guess not. I guess I’ll see you around Al.”

“Yeah, just keep it down to once every two months or so. You need a replacement big time and paying me every month to stave off that clunker from hitting the scrap yard isn’t good for you.” He just waved at me before getting into his car and heading down the driveway. After closing the door, I gave a sigh of relief. If he really pushed it… oh, I’m really happy he didn’t.

I just stood there in the hall for a while, trying to regain my composure. At least that was my intent until I noticed Pinkie Pie in front of me, making a rather silly face I’d rather not try to describe. As I fidgeted to hold back laughing, she had managed to plaster a big grin on my face, I could hear the sound of hooves coming toward me. Moreover, that was enough of a distraction for Pinkie to just tackle me and sit on my chest, waiting for me to surrender to my urge to laugh.

I must have been quite the sight with a pink pony that looked like she got in a fight with a cotton candy machine, and lost, and Rainbow was the first to react by doubling over in laughter. Joining in her amusement was Spike and Twilight. Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy were trying to hold back laughter, each being met with varying levels of difficulty when Pinkie decided to imitate playing a trombone while waiting for me to break. When I actually heard the trombone, I couldn’t take it anymore and had to shove Pinkie off while I rolled onto my side, my own uncontrollable laughter joining everyone else’s echoing in the otherwise silent house.

“Pony pile on Alex,” squealed Pinkie just before pouncing. So there it was I was laughing like a hyena while being smothered by six ponies and a baby dragon doing his best to pull me free while trying not to laugh. At least Spike was trying his hardest. After about ten minutes, both Spike and I gave up.

4 - Shopping

After a bit of shenanigans, some minor first aid, and a sprained pony ankle, there was a chorus of grumbling stomachs. I knew I wouldn’t have enough to feed six ponies, a baby dragon, and myself in the fridge. Then there was the leftover chicken and the beef tenderloin in the fridge. Worry was setting in if anypony saw what was in there while looking for a snack in the nearly empty veggie or fruit drawers.

“We need to do some shopping. I normally would be scared out of my mind doing this but I’m willing to risk having somepony be seen on camera. Because of that, I think that only one pony’s coming with me. Who wants to volunteer?” I was met with three hooves in the air in a flash: Fluttershy’s, Pinkie’s, and Twilight’s. “Okay girls, why should you go out grocery shopping with me?”

“Well, ummm, I’d like to make sure you get plenty of good fruits and vegetables for us to have for a while. I can also help you find nice things for us to make for dinner. But I don’t have to go… if you don’t want me to.” Just like last night, she kicked at the floor bashfully. Not a very strong vote of confidence on Fluttershy’s part, but what could I really expect from the shy pegasus?

“Alex,” Twilight may have only said one word but her voice was practically screaming curiosity already. “Not only will we be able to find adequate food for the coming week, but I’m also curious about your world. It may help to have a better scope of your world so that we can get back to our own.” Reasonable, if not borderline obsessive; seemed par for the course in regards to Twilight. Well, at least it wasn’t Lesson Zero’s Twilight, I thought.

“And why do you want to go Pinkie?” She seemed to always remain the wild card in everything so I just had to know why.

“Well duh.” The gears turning in my head told me exactly what she was going to say now. This didn’t stop me from wanting to hear it. “I should go with you because I know more about your world than any other pony here. Besides, if Fluttershy’s here then she and Rarity can begin making dinner with what we have already!”

I sighed; Pinkie had a point that ruled out Fluttershy. I wanted to take Twilight so that I could get her curiosity out of the way before it became dangerous. Still, there was way too much truth in the party pony’s logic, or occasional lack thereof. I realized something in an instant; Pinkie gave me the answer herself. “Twilight, I’m going to take you with me. Pinkie, I’d like you, Fluttershy, and Rarity to get working on dinner with what’s here. Flour, sugar, and the like are on the shelf left of the fridge and measuring cups are in the drawer beneath to them, pots and pans in the cabinet right under there. Also, try not to cause too big a mess.”

I got a salute from Rainbow, Applejack, and Pinkie. Pinkie’s and Rainbow’s salutes were expected, but not Applejack’s. This in effect, meant that Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Spike would have to preoccupy themselves while three ponies worked in the kitchen. Twilight followed me outside and into the garage. Like any stereotypical ‘rich guy’ there were a few cars, each was kept in good condition and they were all driven to an extent. I had several cars to facilitate what I had to bring to a job or what I had to take back home with me. However, I still had to show off a little so there were a few suited for just that.

You could cut Twilight’s curiosity with a knife though. “Alex, what are these and how do they work?”

“These are cars, kind of like horseless carriages, and they run by use of an internal combustion engine. I won’t go into exact details though.” My choice of a lack of details made Twilight give a rather adorable pouty face. It however, didn’t make her lose a lot of resolve. In fact, there was a whole world she would be seeing for the first time. “I just don’t think I can answer everything off the top of my head is all Twilight.” I picked a nice, red sports car from among them and opened the passenger door for Twilight.

She came around to the passenger side and hopped in. “I forgive you Alex.” She closed the door with magic and with a bit of help she was buckled in. I revved the engine and off we went. About now, I was sure Pinkie was trying to explain that humans were omnivores to everyone, especially Fluttershy.

*****

I doubt Twilight really noticed that we were moving after we got into town. There was so much that was perfectly normal to any human. I however was worried, grocery shopping meant cameras; cameras meant attention. Eh, the smaller markets were safer. I drove across downtown, a nice place actually but not for ponies to remain inconspicuous. When we finally reached our destination, I found a place to park and turned to Twilight.

“I take it that there’s no invisibility spell up your mane?” It never hurt to ask, but it seemed more like a spell she might have studied in passing.

“Well,” she thought for a second, “I came across one before but it was too difficult at the time so I never tried it.” She looked to me, halfway between skeptical and concerned. “You’re really concerned about our safety Alex?”

“I just want to protect you girls from any backlash of the dangers of my world.” I knew I was blushing and my pride was taking center stage. There wasn’t much of it, but it was there.

Twilight’s ears flopped, her concern replaced with doubt. “I appreciate that, but the things on the news aren’t right here are they? Pinkie showed us the news before you got up.” She traced a circle in the chair with her hoof, an irritably perfect circle. “There isn’t danger around every corner is there?”

“Not really, but I think it isn’t a good idea to go around often. Humans might react negatively to what they assume to be cartoon characters trotting along the sidewalk with them.” I smiled. “I don’t mind it since I’m adapting, but there are some who might be afraid.”

She nodded her head, “I suppose so. But why allow somepony to come with you in the first place?”

“I want to make sure we get things you girls like. It also helps to have a second opinion about fruits and vegetables. I’m not very good at that sort of thing.”

“Why didn’t you want Pinkie to go with you?”

“Something she said, she suggested Rarity and Fluttershy start making something. I was worried about something in the fridge since we humans are omnivores. I wanted Pinkie to help reassure Fluttershy about the side of beef in the fridge.”

Twilight looked taken back by my admission. “I could’ve explained that to her too.”

“And you’d let Pinkie out into the world while she can do whatever it is she does?”

I startled her, making her stare in disbelief. “I guess not,” she didn’t sound too convinced. “You would trade one wild card for a different one?”

I returned her own look of disbelief, but tried to smile and regain my composure. “I suppose I wanted a more level headed one,” I admitted. She was good at this, a worthy advisory for skirting the issue. “Ready to get to work then, they’ll be disappointed if we come back really late.”

She unbuckled her seatbelt with magic and opened the door, with me following suit. “Why not just drag Applejack for produce?”

“What and come back with a few bags of apples? I don’t think so; one cannot live on apples alone.” We shared a laugh as we went inside. It was a quaint little produce store. It sold from local farmers whenever possible. There weren’t many customers present and I was thankful the store’s staff was preoccupied with them.

I grabbed a cart and we went to the produce. It was a relatively simple affair, I asked and she evaluated it while holding it with magic. After a quick crash course in our currency and measures, she had a knack for finding good deals too. Yes, this was perfect for the most part. Well, until it came to dry goods like flour and some spices, where we both weren’t very skilled. Then there was the occasional odd glance in my direction from across the store, no doubt people under the impression that I was talking to myself.

We left without much trouble, a double take from the clerk caused Twilight to grin up at him before heading out the door ahead of me. “How worried were you Alex,” she asked as I put the groceries in the car.

“On a scale of one to ten, I’d say a six or seven. It’s a small place with very little in the security camera department, but I was also happy you stayed quiet for the most part.”

“I-I didn’t want to draw too much attention Alex.” She stammered before calmly getting back into my car and buckling up.

“Was there anything you wanted to ask me about while we’re out here Twilight?”

“Yes,” her face filled with the curiosity from earlier. “Why aren’t there a lot of people out in town? I mean to say that I lived in Canterlot for most of my life and Applejack told us about Manehattan, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a place so deserted in the streets.”

“Everyone wants to go where they want to as fast as possible, and around now everyone also wants to get something to eat. That means there’s very few people moving around outside. They like it in warm buildings too, it’s still winter right now.”

“Oh, do you have to do something like Winter Wrap-Up here?”

I shook my head. “Humans have to let nature take care of itself. We can’t really affect it so our weather isn’t really like yours.”

“Oh, and what keeps everything working around here? I mean there’s no magic here so what power source is there.”

“Electricity, ours is a world of technology. I think some things would be different if there was magic, but I know someone would abuse it in the end.” I started up the car, I felt like things went far too easily when we went out. Doubt and confusion might be able to keep a person or two quiet, but not once the whole town got talking. Yes, I thought it was better to keep them all safe by being as discreet as possible.

“Um before we go back I’d like to ask a teeny, tiny favor Alex.”

“What would this favor be Twilight?”

“I’d like it if we could stop somewhere and get a few notebooks.”

I cocked an eyebrow and looked to her. “Do you want to keep notes about everything you learn? I mean that if that’s the case I have plenty at home.”

She shook her head a little. “That’s not it; I’d like everypony to write a little about their time here.”

This felt a little awkward. “Alright, I know a place.” I knew it; this was too easy.

*****

There was a quaint used and antique bookstore closer to home. With the low customer influx, how it was still open was anyone’s guess. I didn’t often visit but for nicer notebooks or journals, it was the perfect place.

“Okay,” I began after I pulled into the tiny nearby parking lot, “this place is run by a young couple and it’s a nice store. They bought it from the last owner and they keep it running just fine. I’m not really sure how it stays open but it has for as long as I can remember.”

“Do you want me to come in,” asked Twilight in a mixture of anxious and nervous.

“Last time I visited they had a little girl.” I bit my lip. “I think she’d love to meet you if she’s there.”

Twilight looked at me nervously. “Are you sure? I mean shouldn’t we remain unseen by a lot of humans?”

“It’ll make her whole day to see somepony Twilight.” To be honest, I didn’t know if she watched the show, but I knew that if she did then it would be a wonderful treat. It’s just one of those ‘do it for the little kid’ things some people can’t resist.

“But what if she isn’t there?”

“Wait out here by the lot and I’ll ask inside okay?”

Twilight nodded and unbuckled. “I really hope it’s all worth it Alex.”

“I’d like to hope it is Twilight,” I replied as I got out and made my way to the storefront.

*****

The store was rather quaint inside, lined with shelves carefully organized and filled with the musky aroma of early editions. If there ever was a literary aphrodisiac then I assure you, this was it. As I came in out of the cold, the woman at the register looked over to the threshold.

“Hello Alex,” she said, “it’s been a while hasn’t it?”

“Yeah, how is everything Sarah?”

“It’s alright, what brings you in today?”

I gave a meek smile before I closed the door behind me. “Is Lauren here today?”

“Yeah, she’s up in my office. Did you want to talk to her?”

I took a deep breath and recomposed myself. “Actually I have a question, does she watch My Little Pony?”

“Every single Saturday, why do you want to know?”

My meek smile returned. “I have someone she might want to meet, is it okay if I bring her in?”

“I’ll go tell her and you can bring your friend in okay?”

“Sure thing,” I opened the door and ushered Twilight to come over.

“It’s no trouble,” she asked once she was a pony length away from me.

“It’s just fine Twilight,” I replied as I held the door open for her.

As soon as we returned inside however, time seemed to slow to a crawl. A little ten-year old girl came downstairs and looked ecstatic. “Mommy look,” she squealed, “it’s Twilight Sparkle!”

“Twilight,” I said calmly, “I’d like you to meet Lauren Korowitz. She’s the most energetic little girl I know. She may rival Pinkie at times, like when Pinkie thinks before she acts.”

“She’s absolutely adorable,” said Twilight with a shining gleam in her eyes.

I simply rolled my eyes as Lauren raced down the stairs while Twilight rushed towards her. “Twilight, we still have something to do.”

“I know Alex,” she told me with a nod before turning back to Lauren. “It’s nice to see you Lauren but we came to get a few journals.”

“You both can’t stay too long then,” asked Sarah as she walked past Twilight and her daughter.

I nodded and felt a little bad about having to do this to such a cute little girl like Lauren. “We have groceries in the car and should get back home before everyone else decides to eat without us.”

“And just who is ‘everyone else’ Alexander,” harped the store’s owner.

My meek smile returned for the third time in about fifteen minutes. “Uh, Twilight’s friends,” I said nervously.

“Can you keep this secret Lauren,” asked Twilight.

“Yep,” she replied cheerfully, “just try and visit some other time okay?”

“Well, as long as your mother’s fine with it we will.”

All eyes shifted to Sarah, who had returned to her place behind the counter. “Just call beforehand Alex.”

“Come on Lauren,” Twilight said with a smile, “how about we pick out some diaries for my friends.”

She smiled and ran off, leading the lavender unicorn towards the back of the store.

After a little while, I sighed. “Anything interesting come in Sarah?”

“We got a second printing set of classic Bond stories.”

“I’ll pass. They’re more of my brother’s thing. Anything else?”

“Not much of note but I’ll be sure to call you if we happen to sell them.”

“Thanks, I’ll pass the message along to my Rick when he gets back.”

“Do you get any letters from him?”

“Sometimes, I think he’s just sending me something so he knows I know he’s alive. His heart’s in the right place but sometimes he needs to think before he writes.”

“Well you can’t expect everything to be just fine while he’s out doing who knows what for the Marines right?”

“I guess, I mean I don’t disapprove of what he chose, but I’m still bothered by it. I’m not my dad, and I have no intention to act like him about Rick’s life.”

Lauren and Twilight came back a few minutes later with the ones they wanted. “I even got one for Spike,” Twilight said as she showed me a plain looking book.

Sarah rang up the books and I paid her, but before we left, we heard one last thing from Lauren. “Don’t be strangers you two.”

“Don’t worry,” Twilight said as she cut me off on what I could only guess to be a reflex.

“We won’t,” I added before opening the door, getting a blast of cold air immediately.

5 - Dinner and a Story

After we got home, we just sat in the car talking more and more. Twilight was fun, a little nerdy at times, but that wasn’t bad. “Lauren was a nice girl,” she said pleasantly, changing topics from tesla coils.

I smiled. “Yeah, she’s alright. A little hyper sometimes, but I’d say she’s a great kid.”

“So humans just live on technology and that’s it right?”

I nodded. “I think you guys are so lucky in Equestria. I mean, it’s peaceful there right?”

“Well, what I heard of last was that there’s some tension on the borders of the griffon territory and then there’s the Everfree Forest, which is a whole other subject, but that covers most of the problems.”

“So that aside,” I said with a placid look on my face, “could you actually call living in Equestria a ‘love and tolerate’ lifestyle?”

“Why Alex, are you jealous?”

“You have no idea how jealous Twilight. The human world is filled with strife and unhappiness, sometimes I just can’t stand it. It’s lousy to spend your life knowing that we can try to make it a better place, but some stuff just refuses to change.”

She blinked at me, her ears lowered. She unbuckled herself and looked at me with concern. “I’m sorry to hear that,” her voice was so sad, like it was a knife through your heart. “Will you be okay when we leave?”

“Dunno, nothing’s certain in life; we just have to keep going as best we can.”

Twilight scoffed and nudged my shoulder. “And now you want to act like a philosopher? Make up your mind, are you sad or not?”

“Of course I’m not sad. I mean I’ll be sad, but not right now. If nothing else Pinkie might kill me if I go in there all mopey and depressed.” As a grin formed on my face, Twilight was restraining the urge to laugh, and losing horribly. I think she might’ve known where I was going with this. “Or she might do a random song, perhaps with a dance routine to boot.” With my added remark, she finally started to laugh.

After regaining her composure, Twilight opened her door. “We should get inside before-”

“Everypony starts to think we were making out in the car?” Can you blame me for wanting to make one last cheesy joke? Seriously, can you say it with a straight face? I popped the trunk and gave a quick glance over to see if I got a reaction at all.

“Before they decide to eat without us,” she told me. Her face bore a confused look that told me it sailed right over her head. It just told me I either had to tone down the low humor or try and get her some better social cues.

We got the bags out of the trunk; Twilight was cheating by using magic. After getting in the house, we made our way towards the kitchen, wanting to just put everything away and enjoy a good meal.

*****

Fluttershy gave me a nasty look at first glance, but warmed up quickly when I started to unpack my bags. “Sorry Fluttershy,” I said as I unpacked a bag of tomatoes and a head of lettuce. “I should’ve told you before we left. I’ll have to do my best at the vegetarian thing with everypony here.”

“Oh, um that’s okay Alex. I don’t think you should do something like that for our sake. It’s your nature and all isn’t it?” She didn’t sound like it was okay.

“Some scientists say it’s healthier for you so I think I can give it a try for a while at least.” I looked over to the sink and saw several utensils, machines, and pans waiting to be cleaned. “Is everything all set then?”

“Yep,” came Pinkie’s cheerful voice from the dining room. “We just finished preparing everything. So take your seats and we can get started.” The three of us exchanged glances, silently telling each other we’d get to the groceries and dishes after dinner. Well, put the dairy away then have dinner.

*****

That first dinner, it makes me hungry just trying to remember it, so I’ll save you the trouble of the mouthwatering goodness. That was my first actual vegetarian meal and I have to admit that I could get used to meals like that. Nothing was over spiced, the flavors felt balanced, and everything even looked appealing regardless of if you devoured food like Rainbow or had Rarity’s immaculate manners.

After that, we drew straws for dish duty. While Applejack was working hard on cleaning up our dirty dishes, Fluttershy and I were putting everything away. Shortly afterwards however Spike would come to me with a very interesting question.

“Um Alex,” he said with a curious tone, “what’s this thing?” He was holding up a black box that he had found somewhere

I smiled, it was a simple way to keep the dragon busy all day, for how many days would be a good question. “This is a video game system Spike. It allows you to play electronic games on it called video games. It’s time you learned what some kids in the human world do for fun. I encourage the liberal use of fingers in this case.”

“Fingers,” Spike gave a proud wiggle of his digits, “check.”

“Right, now I’m going to explain to you how to play the game that’s already in the system.” With that, I went into a simple explanation about the GameBoy and the game currently inside. After my brief explanation, he turned it on and got right to playing. I guided the little dragon to a chair and helped him into it.

As I turned around, I saw Twilight heading upstairs, perhaps returning to the study to read more. Rarity had moved over to the couch and was reading a magazine she found. As for Rainbow, well she was looking over a controller for my Xbox 360.

In my line of “work,” I’ve done many all-nighters. Though seeing Rainbow with that controller was just something I wasn’t up to trying to explain that night. I wanted to get sleep sometime before one in the morning tonight. Actually, because of staying up last night and being woken by an unruly slurping I needed sleep. “Put the controller down Rainbow,” I said with a stern look, “I’ll teach you how to play the Xbox in the morning. I’d like to get some sleep and that also means we can get food for when we run out because I could do my job. I have to get up at the crack of dawn tomorrow.”

“But you’ve got plenty of money Alex,” Rainbow returned with a skeptical look on her face. “I could see it all. You’ve got a wall around your home and a big, spacious house too.”

I locked eyes with her. “Do you actually live in a cloud house Rainbow?”

“Yes, but I-” Her wings were wide open, trying to make herself look intimidating.

“And you can move and shape clouds right?” I wasn’t raising my voice at all but eyes had started to follow the back and forth of dialogue. Well, except Spike’s which were still on the GameBoy.

“Yes but-”

“I have money because my parents had money.” Personally, I hated having so much with so little effort. I hated high society social functions, being around so many stuffed up jerks concerned with how rich they are compared to their peers was stifling. Having to dress up just to see a friend of my parents for ten minutes was something I despised most of all. After my mother passed, I cut my ties with those kinds of people. High society wasn’t my kind of society, I preferred the middle class and their day to day problems.

“Oh,” she folded her wings in, “Oh! So you just have nice things because you were given nice things Alex?”

“Kind of Rainbow, my parents left everything to me, my older sister Jessica, and my younger brother Rick. Jessica, well, she’s already gone so it’s just Rick and me now. He’s in the army and on tour right now so that just leaves me to handle all the money and taxes.” I had taken care of my parents in their final months. They wanted me to stay in school, and I graduated college with honors. After that though, I was home all the time taking care of them. My future could wait until they were gone, but here I am now still without the future I envisioned. “I just don’t like talking about it is all, makes me look like the bad guy in all of it.”

“What in the hay do ya mean Alex,” Applejack asked.

“My sister died serving in the army, my parents were terminally ill, and all I did was attend college then. Towards the end, I took care of my parents, but only after I finished my degree. My brother enlisted right out of high school and he’s over in the Middle East right now.” I gave a meek smile. “Of the three of us kids I was an idealist. I thought I could help make everyone’s lives better after I graduated, but here I am with the past keeping me rooted in place.”

There was silence after that and Rainbow had set the controller on the table. Rarity had put the magazine she was reading aside. Pinkie looked up at me from where she sat on the carpet. Even Spike had averted his eyes from his game to look at me. I told my story and I hope I made it clear enough for everypony to know not to push it.

“Ahm sorry for putting you on the spot Alex,” apologized Applejack after it all sunk in.

“It’s okay Applejack; I needed to get it off my chest sooner or later. I never really told anyone everything.” I got up and tried to give a warmer smile. “I’m going to go to bed now, I’ll teach you after work tomorrow Rainbow.”

I knew somewhere down inside of me that it was better to get it out of my system, eventually I’d have to explain to them why I lived alone in a place like this. The walk upstairs felt better with each step. It was a weight lifted from my mind and I went into my bedroom for a notebook and pen. I took them back to my brother’s room and wrote something by the desk lamp. I felt like I learned a lesson, not quite about friendship, but even if it wasn’t really like a friendship report I still addressed it to the princess, like it was one.

Dear Princess Celestia,

I know I’m not a citizen of Equestria. I know I’m not one of your little ponies. I’m not even sure you could fathom my species without seeing one. Regardless, I wanted to write to you because I think you would like the gesture at the very least.

Tonight I learned that keeping something about yourself bottled up for too long is the worst thing you could do. Eventually, it lingers long enough and you grow reluctant to move on. Today I shared one such burden with some of your subjects, my new friends.

After I said everything, I felt the weight of the situation start to feel less like a burden. Now it feels more like something that just happened to be a tragic part of my life. I feel like I can finally move on and I have nobody to thank but Twilight and her friends.

I hope you’re well,
Alexander

P.S. Everypony hopes to return to Equestria soon and I hope I can help them. If nothing else, I want you to know I’ll be doing my best to keep them from the dangers of my world.

I wondered if it was even possible to send a letter to Princess Celestia, or if she even understood what a human was. It was something that could fester in my mind for a while, a new puzzle to figure out when I needed to think about something.

As time passed, I relaxed in bed, staring that the top bunk as I tried to get to sleep. I heard the shuffling of ponies heading to bed and I even heard Spike climbing up the ladder to get into the top bunk. In the end, I figured that I remained an idealist; determined to help those who asked for my help. Even now for a few that never had to ask for it in the first place. I doubt that part of me will ever, truly change.

6 - Rainbow Dash: Keeping It

Um, I’ve never really had a diary or a journal for something that wasn’t part of school so um I’m not really sure what I should be writing about. I mean Twilight said we should just write about anything we want, we can keep it here or tell somepony else.

It sounds kinda lame but…

Rainbow checked around before closing the door. She giggled and went back to her cloud-patterned journal. She scribbled “Dash’s” in big, bold letters.

Sorry, what I mean to say is that it sounds kinda lame to be told to keep a journal. Nopony’s gonna find my journal, well except for Fluttershy but she’ll promise to never show it to anypony or even read it. Ugh, sorry but I miss my journal in Ponyville. I was hoping to write about this experiment thingy once it was over. Once I had a chance to say it was lame, and that it didn’t do anything.

Something really changed though, it isn’t lame at all. I mean we all did exactly what Twilight said, and I got to see this screen thingy Pinkie Pie’s always talking about. It was so cool to see this thing we never got a chance to see. I mean I can believe Pinkie, a lot easier now that I saw that screen, it shows up every week and a buncha these humans watch us go off and do cool things like fight Discord or watch me do a Sonic Rainboom in Cloudsdale. Well… Pinkie said they watched that stuff but all I saw was Nightmare Moon getting her flank handed to her by us so I’ll take Pinkie’s word on it till I see it for myself.

I’ve had tons of fans I’ve never even seen before and now I know where they are! It’s so awesome, I mean I can’t really believe it! Sorry Journal but I have to set you down for a sec. I need to squeal.

As Rainbow Dash squealed in excitement, the door creaked open revealing her canary-colored friend.

“Um,” she said quietly, “Rainbow Dash. Excuse me Rainbow, but I-”

“Man this is so awesome,” Rainbow squealed, ignorant of Fluttershy’s appearance.

“Rainbow Dash,” said the shy pegasus with a louder, determined tone.

“Hmm,” Rainbow turned to see her friend and slammed her journal shut. “How’s it going Fluttershy?”

“I’m still a little scared Rainbow Dash,” quietly replied Fluttershy.

Rainbow hopped off their bed and gave her friend a warm smile. “I know, but we’re here together right?”

“I know but-”

“But nothin’ according to Twilight you stared down a cockatrice. You’re scared of one guy?”

Fluttershy shook her head. “I can tell Alex is a nice guy. I know he’s looking out for us as best he can.”

“Yeah, but do you think he’s doing this just ‘cause of the show or ‘cause he’s actually a nice guy?”

Fluttershy rested a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “I know he’s looking out for us as best he can,” she repeated.

Rainbow gave her a little smile. “Will you give me a little more privacy Fluttershy? I’m writing in my journal.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Actually I… um… do you mind if I write in here? I mean away from you so you keep your journal private. It’s just that I don’t want to trouble any of our friends and Alex is trying to sleep.”

Rainbow nodded and waited for Fluttershy to take her seat away from the pegasus. She knew Alex wanted some time to himself. Probably everypony wanted some alone time too, but there just wasn’t enough space in the house for everypony to stay far enough away before going to bed.

Okay, so the thing is I’m really sorry journal, for being so flip-floppy, but I gotta tell ya Alex is pretty cool. I mean he just smiled and took us all in, like nothing was wrong with it. He’s kinda cool like that, nothing really seems to faze him. Applejack and Rarity said he’s just bottling it up, and I think they’re right.

He wants to be friends but also keep secrets. Do friends keep really big secrets from friends here or somethin? If that’s true then it’s kinda lame that they do that, but if he doesn’t wanna talk about something then I’m not gonna press it. He didn’t tell us about his parents and when he did I knew he was so nervous. He was mad too, but I saw how nervous he really was. I really shouldn’t have pushed his buttons and just dropped it.

I mean, I know what it’s like to lose somepony in your family. It isn’t easy and you don’t get over it. Not really at least, but I mean I only lost my sis and he lost all that family. It must hurt a lot without them.

He’s also nothing like ponies I know of who are rich. I mean like it sounds like he likes it for the privacy, but hates it for the attention. Kinda makes him cool too. I’m not sharing this with anypony, he’s just cool, ‘nuff said.

The cyan pegasus sighed and stuffed her journal into her pillow case, ready to hear about some new stuff in the morning.

8 - Fourth Wall: Additions

“So erm,” Pinkie paused as she tried to come up with something, probably a nickname. “Aha, Ravie, do you mind if I call you that? I mean duh, Ravenmane’s so long all the time.”

I knew it, the author thought as he rolled his eyes. “I guess that’s okay Pinkie, if you’d rather not do something like Raven.”

Pinkie beamed. “That’s better, I’ll be sure to tell everypony to use that. Anyways, why are you doing this super massive overhaul thingy Raven?”

“I hope you mean aside from the fact that I was abducted by you, Twilight, and a baseball bat?”

“Well after you put it that way,” she started with a frown.

“Nah, that’s okay Pinkie. I wanted to do this for a while anyways. The abduction, well it just gave me more of a reason to do it. Besides, people kept telling me ‘you made such and such mistake here’ or ‘you should’ve had something there’ and it was all very irritating after too long.”

“So the whole journal thing, what’s that about?”

“It gives us some insight into things like Fluttershy’s uneasiness towards the omnivorous dominant species and Rainbow’s thoughts without that nice social buffer of hers. I think Twilight might kill me if I did too much of her kind of journal. You know, provided I start to seem like I stole hers to get the right kind of flavor. Hypothetically speaking of course, I wouldn’t do something that low.”

“Care to say if anypony else that gets these journal thingies?”

“You read the original right Pinkie?”

“Uh huh, and I agree with Twilight, it was a first draft.”

“Then you know exactly where I’m going to be going.”

“Any other things you wanna talk about in these?”

“I’m not ready to divulge everything Pinkie,” the author said with a mischievous grin. “I’m allowed to have some secrets right?”

The party pony gave him a tight squeeze. “Yep, you’ve said enough to keep it fun. Oh, but what about doing things from my perspective, are you gonna do those?”

Ravenmane shook his head. “Well, you’re keeping me company and the ‘you’ in the story knows too much already. So we’ll just talk about stuff from time to time ‘kay?”

Pinkie’s eyes lit up and she had an ear-to-ear grin. “We can do something like a commentary right?”

“Well,” a pleading look in the pony’s eyes made him groan. “Fine,” he said with a defeated tone.

“You’re the best Raven, but what about if you’re being watched by somepony else?”

“Well, then I guess I’ll leave their thoughts for everyone that’s reading. How good do you think my odds are that Rarity would drag me off to her shop or to the spa while she’s supposed to be watching me?”

Pinkie began to think and arbitrarily move her hoof in the air. It looked as if she was using an imaginary abacus. “I think it’s just about as good as Applejack dragging you out to the farm.”

“Mind if I take a break for now Pinkie?”

“Nope,” she replied cheerfully.

He picked up a book Pinkie gave him when he beat her in a staring contest. It was an amusing read so far.

Breaking the Fourth Wall for Derps
My Bad Edition
By Pinkamena ‘Pinkie’ Pie
Published by Celestial Publishing
45 Bt

Chapter 3: Know Your Audience

Author’s Note: Big chapter block postage. It’ll slow down starting now, I have to write new material for a while so I suppose you’ll just have to deal with some downtime.

9 - Theories

A few weeks have passed since I told them about what it was like before they showed up. Pinkie and Fluttershy felt like they were walking on eggshells for a few days and Rainbow became a huge Modern Warfare fan, but she would still go into other games. Pinkie occasionally took the TV from Rainbow in her vain attempt to beat Dragon’s Lair. I never can bring myself to tell her she isn’t going to do it.

I remember trying to figure out how she could possibly manipulate the controller as well as she could with hooves and wings. Then again, I’ve been surprised by several things as of late. First of all was Pinkie’s insistence that we literally drew straws, best made dinner and worst cleaned dishes. Chores around the house started to be broken down like that over time and in time the dreary February gave way to March.

March was when the fight for the internet connection began. The sixth meant Mass Effect 3, and Rainbow wasn’t going to stop me from playing multiplayer. My Mass Effect 3 account was found at odd times over the course of the following weeks. I was playing when chores, groceries, sleep, or work wouldn’t intervene. That isn’t to say I was playing exclusively, it was never that easy to do anything in a place surrounded by ponies. Even Twilight could pry herself from her research for movie night or game night. We held back for each episode of My Little Pony until after dinner every Saturday. There were also instances when I couldn’t use my computer, Twilight would hijack it for her growing addiction to puzzle games like the Myst series.

I still wrote mock letters to Princess Celestia, always whenever I thought I learned a lesson about friendship, and eventually I started to wonder something. “Twilight,” I said to her one day during breakfast. “I’ve got a question for you.”

She looked up from her stack of pancakes. “Yes Alex?”

“Have you been able to send anything to Princess Celestia?”

She sunk a little in her seat. “I’ve tried but, Spike keeps belching the letters back up.”

“Sorry Twi,” said the baby dragon, “but it’s not my fault. They just won’t go through or something.”

“The Princess must be worried about all of you though,” I said while pointing a fork laden with pancake towards Twilight. “It’s been about a month now and I’m sure she’s noticed something was wrong by now.”

Twilight nodded, “I’m sure Princess Celestia is doing her best to find us, but she still has to govern Equestria.”

I smiled at her, “I said I’d help in any way I can Twilight. Just tell me if you need my help.”

She shook her head. “No, you have enough to do as is. I can’t ask you to help us.”

“Twilight Sparkle, I want to help you.” I smirked, “got it?”

“I get it. Let’s start today.”

*****

A little later on in the day I sat in the study, ready to listen to Twilight try to explain the complications to me. This was something I was actually eager to listen to, I mean it would seem cruel to think of the way between our worlds as a one way trip. It wasn’t something I liked at all since I knew they had no real position in our world.

“I shudder to think this only works one way Alex,” Twilight said. Her first words in this ‘lesson’ echoed my thoughts. It was this concept that made me wonder how much we may have in common. “That said, Spike’s inability to send letters to Equestria supports this disturbing theory.”

“I know,” I told her solemnly, “I really share your thought on this matter. I mean it sounds like some sick joke for you to have no way back home. Do any spells of yours not work here?”

“No, everything works except for relaying letters to the Princess. Do you have any ideas?”

“Well, humans contact each other immediately using the internet. I have no guarantee that something like e-mail would go to Equestria but-”

“I think it might be worth a try. Is there anything special we have to do?”

“We’d need some sort of e-mail address to send it to.”

“What kind of things are in an e-mail address then?”

“They follow a simple order. The first part is a name, usually the person you’re trying to reach followed by the symbol for at, then the domain name.”

“Well the name is easy enough.”

“Not really Twilight, I mean it could be Celestia, Princess Celestia, maybe some sort of shorthand, or even some more elaborate name. Then there’s the domain name.”

“What about that?”

“I think it could be something like ‘Equestria dot gov’ or ‘Canterlot dot gov’ but I have no way to know for sure.”

Twilight put her hoof to her chin and thought a little. “Gov would be short for government right Alex?”

I nodded. “You can see why that sounds like it would work Twilight?”

“Would we know if we were wrong?”

“Usually we should know very quickly.”

“Great, where do we start?”

I got up and went to my desk to retrieve a notepad. “How about you give me every name, formal or otherwise, she may go by.”

*****

After several drafts, Twilight and I agreed on a very straightforward letter.

Subject: Dear Princess Celestia

My friends and I are stuck in a foreign world with no way to return home. Please contact me as soon as possible.

From: SparkleT@gmail.com

The real challenge came from developing every possible combination of Princess Celestia Daybreaker and Equestria.gov or Canterlot.gov.

“So why isn’t it just a clear-cut ‘Twilight Sparkle’ Alex,” Twilight asked after we came downstairs to the computer.

“Well, a fan claiming your name for their e-mail is playing against very high odds Twilight.”

“Well, that’s just… creepy. If that’s the case what are the odds of somepony having the Princess’ name?”

“I kinda doubt the existence of either domain in a conventional sense.”

*****

After hours of trying possible combinations, everyone had found it a fruitless endeavor. Thousands of combinations had worn on even Twilight’s nerves. “Let’s face it Twilight,” I said after I realized I tried this combination already, “we can’t e-mail Princess Celestia.”

“Twilight, Alex,” called Rarity from the kitchen, “dinner’s ready.”

Twilight sighed and shuffled towards the dining room, her head down in defeat. “I guess so.”

I sighed and got out of my seat, glancing back to the inbox crammed with messages saying that the address a message was sent to didn’t exist. So much for that theory, I thought. It was a serious setback, something either Twilight or me just couldn’t quite accept; even if we had no choice.

Notice: Please do not bother SparkleT@gmail.com because of this piece of fiction.
~Twilight

10 - Twilight Sparkle: At Least Somepony Listens

Twilight sighed, opened her star covered journal to a blank page, and stared at it for a little while. Soon her train of thought flowed onto the page courtesy of a pen coated in the purple aura of her magic.

He’s an alright guy, Alex I mean. Rainbow’s right though about Alex being cool, but he can also be clever and intelligent. I wonder how he can do both. Actually, I think she knows a lot more about him then she lets on. Nopony’s talking about him like she is, but it isn’t too important right now.

Our idea was a total disaster today. Alex tried to tell me it was a long shot after the fiftieth failed message but I wouldn’t accept it. Now I see just how juvenile I was acting. I mean I was acting worse than Fluttershy was last week, claiming she was going to get the southern birds. It took four of us to just keep her indoors and explain to her Winter Wrap-Up doesn’t exist here. I mean, I explained that at the end of last month for pony’s sake. Did anypony actually listen to me?

Twilight groaned. “All I’d like is for somepony to listen to me and not hear just what they want. Just once, I mean is that so hard to ask?”

Rarity gazed over to her roommate appraisingly. “Twilight, everypony only listens to the finer points of what you say because you tend to explain every detail of everything. I can’t exactly say for certain that’s exactly what everypony thinks, but I’d like to think that’s what everypony tries to do.”

“But that means that some details might end up being missed and someponies need to hear everything or they don’t know what’s going wrong. Rainbow Dash is a perfect example, she listens enough to get the idea but then she’s off in her own little world where she thinks everything’s cool.”

“But you can’t change that dear, just try to avoid too much detail next time you want to explain things.”

“Well, at least Alex listens to everything.”

“That’s the spirit Twilight.”

I tried to explain magic to Alex a few times after dinner and he didn’t quite get it, but each time he seemed to understand it better. I just don’t think he can answer my questions without a better grasp of magic and I’m teaching at a snail’s pace. If he was a unicorn, and still had his knowledge of this world then it would be easier, but I don’t even know if there were spells in Canterlot that could change a pony, or in this case human, into a different species.

It’s a wonderful idea but if I was going to teach another unicorn, especially a stallion, somepony could take it the wrong way.

Twilight took a quick glance back to the fashionista before returning to her journal.

At least Alex isn’t a pony so it doesn’t seem as weird to talk to him about how things work in Equestria.

11 - Relaxation

There were very few complications over the next few weeks, at least until one little incident. It all began one Thursday in early April…

“Something’s wrong with the network at work Sam?” I was on the phone out in the warm sun. I had to get used to taking my calls on the porch ever since Rainbow discovered how to work the surround sound. “What’s actually connected to the network at the spa?” I noticed then that I had done something that would spell my immediate doom; Rarity heard me say ‘spa.’ It made me pause with fear. I knew what I had said, and I realized exactly who I was sharing the porch with.

“No, nothing’s wrong on this end.” I tried to continue while she gave me a pleading look. “I can fit it in first thing on Monday. I’m sorry Sam, but if you want it done sooner you’ll need to find someone who will do it for free.” I paused as I was listening to Sam. “Look, I can’t shuffle everyone around just to fix a few errors in the manager’s office. I have parts coming in all day tomorrow, and Saturday’s my day to myself. I’m building a few things on Sunday or I’d come and do it then. Thank you for understanding Sam. Yes, I’ll see you Monday. Yes, I’ll call you if something frees me up before then. You work until close on Sunday right? Thanks Sam.”

After I hung up, I heard it the first time. “Can you please take me to the spa with you Alex?” At the time, Rarity was only asking.

“Rarity,” I replied, trying to sound as comforting as I could. “Last time one of you girls went out with me I had to spend half the day in the pet store with Fluttershy.” Fluttershy wanted to get something to feed to the animals in the yard. However, she was constantly drawn back to a large wall of small fish tanks.

“But Alex, I won’t be trouble. You can work on the problems and please just let me be a little pampered for once.” I groaned and excused myself, returning to repairing a client’s computer.

Whenever she asked or begged I couldn’t deny that she’d be in a better mood if I brought her with me and let her get a massage at the very least. I just couldn’t see it being an easy thing on a Monday morning. I learned my lesson very well; Ponies don’t make things easy.

However, Sam owed me a favor. This led me to hatch a plan. “If I can get everything done before Sam’s shift ends on Sunday then you can come with me.”

Rarity squealed at the possibility of going to the spa with me. This was exactly the kind of thing I wanted to avoid; prolonged human contact might cause problems down the line. A year ago, I did some tech work for Sam when she couldn’t afford it. In return, she owed me a favor, and I intended to collect in spades. Sam, I thought I could trust to stay quiet.

It was Saturday now, my day off, and I was working harder than ever. At this rate, I think I’d deserve some time being pampered. If everything was done before Sunday was finished I’d need more than just the favor. I worked hard, but tried to pace myself as much as possible.

Not all of my job was data recovery and minor repair work. Sometimes I had to do some really stupid things like build custom parts for clients, or just assemble a client’s new desktop part by part. I had the unfortunate pleasure of doing both on my weekend. I’ll spare you the details but it wasn’t as boring as much as it was time consuming.

Saturday disappeared in a flash, but nearly everything was done. All that I had to make was something for Sparky, who finally took my advice and got a new computer when I couldn’t bring his back from the dead a week ago.

He did pay me to try and I did give it my all, but I’m no technology God. To be fair, I had already brought it back to life twice with some mad Frankenstein technology and a hard slam on the tower. The second time I even went so far as to go “It’s alive” for him.

*****

Sunday decided to hit me upside the head with a speedboat when I woke up. Either that or the jostling Rainbow Dash next to me did it. This was the second time we shuffled roommates. This time I was with Rainbow in the master bedroom. Either way I woke up with a nice bruise on my cheek and left Rainbow to whatever she was dreaming about so I could get an icepack.

I was halfway across the room when I had to pull my hair out of my face. It made me pause; I liked my hair short so it didn’t get in the way. Turning to make my way to the mirror I groaned, I had to pull it back again. It wasn’t until I was in front of the mirror until I noticed the extent of everything.

I stared at my reflection, pale as a sheet. “Rarity!” She was the only one I could turn to at this point.

She came galloping in. “Oh my goodness, what happened to your hair darling?”

“I was hoping you could tell me.” I never ever had my hair this long, it was past my shoulders and if I had to pull my bangs out of my face again it’d start to drive me nuts. It was like silk to the touch, flowing like water in my fingers. Worst of all, it was still going. “This is really weird, sorry for jumping to you for help but-”

“Yes I know.” She was quick to cut be off before I could say she would be the best. “I’ll try to help you um… adjust. Yes, adjust!” She went into the room she now shared with Twilight and came back with an assortment of tools. She tried to cut it into a more manageable size but it just grew right back in.

Rarity screamed as soon as all of her work was undone, waking up Rainbow. “Stubborn mane,” she growled at my hair as she practically waged war against it.

“Wuzzat,” mumbled Rainbow in a half-awake daze.

“Can you at least get it out of my face some Rarity?” Just as it finished escaping my mouth, she was already on it.

“Oh my thoughts exactly dear,” she bit her lip as she worked.

Rainbow was waking up to the very unusual sight of seeing about a foot and a half of hair fighting against Rarity and a pair of scissors. I’d imagine that this would be quite the amusing sight if it wasn’t happening to me.

“Um Rare,” Rainbow said as she was trying to wake up some. “Who’s the guy with the hair?”

“Not now Rainbow Dash,” she replied tersely as she was shaping around my face. She was smiling though; it wasn’t growing back in like crazy now. “And there we go. Just don’t forget to take care of it more than usual and get a nice brush.”

“Thanks Rarity,” I said with a smile. “Now, could you come over here Rainbow?” I gestured for her to come to my side, not even glancing over towards the bed.

“Al? Is that really you?” I saw in the mirror that Rainbow bore a far beyond confused look, but came over anyways.

I turned to her so she could see the bruise on my face. “You need to flail a little less in your sleep. A little further north and that would’ve been one nasty shiner.”

She immediately snapped awake after seeing the bruise. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Al. I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“You’re a little safer than Pinkie, but not by too much.” Pinkie, my previous roommate, flails a lot in her sleep and I don’t have much to absorb the blows.

“Yeah, I remember what Twilight was like yesterday.” She was coated in bruises from what appeared to be Pinkie sleep galloping.

“Oh yes,” interjected Rarity, “that’s why Applejack and I had to swap rooms with Pinkie and Twilight. It gave Pinkie a bunk all to herself.”

“So,” Rainbow started awkwardly, “what’s with the sudden hair Al?”

“No clue,” I groaned, “I don’t know who’ll be more emotional. Fluttershy’s going to be really concerned because of the bruise. Twilight’s curiosity might have her beat though since I just grew at least a foot of hair overnight.”

“Yeah, that’s a tough call.”

Rarity nodded. “It even grows back when it wants to grow in a specific way Rainbow. That’s the best I can do until we can put some magic to it.”

I took another look at it in the mirror. “If I ditch the stubble I think it would look great just as it is. Sure, I’ll have to pull some loose strands out of my face from time to time, but I can manage.”

*****

Breakfast consisted of plenty of questions about the new additions to my head. Fluttershy quickly got an icepack together for me and Twilight did seem obsessed about the addition.

“That looks more like wild magic than anything else,” she theorized.

“So, what do you mean by ‘wild magic’?” I still knew next to nothing about magic despite Twilight’s best attempts.

“What I mean is that its sorcery that nopony actually does. It has a life of its own.”

“Kinda like the Everfree Forest?”

“Not exactly, more like something growing used to being in a specific kind of magic-oriented environment. It just acts ‘wild’ because it doesn’t know any better.”

“You mean like how it sort of fought back against me,” Rarity asked.

“Exactly, nopony could make something like that without maintaining concentration. What’s more this,” she gave my hair a tug, “showed up overnight.”

“That hurts Twi,” I said as my head jerked.

“I’m sorry Alex,” she blushed, “I just… I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay Twi, just don’t do it in the future.” I cleared my spot, time to finish my work.

*****

It was four in the afternoon when I finally finished, it took far longer than I expected to finish. At least it was done and it worked just fine. I set the piece of custom hardware aside and went outside to make my call. Rarity was already outside, eager to see me walk out with my phone.

“Yeah, Sam,” I asked into my phone, Rarity closing in quickly giving me big puppy eyes. “How late are you guys open? Yeah, I can make it today. Mind if I bring someone with me? No, you owe me remember. We have a deal then? Good, see you in an hour.”

“Thank you so much Alex,” Rarity squealed before tackling me. “You won’t regret it in the least.”

If ever there was a statement that I prayed for truth in that was it. On one hand Rarity would be pleased, on the other hand I was out a favor. Now that I think about it, the whole thing was a win-win scenario.

*****

The drive over was incident free, the first sign of a complicated pony-related instance. “You won’t have much time to be pampered Rarity,” I explained. “They’ll be closing up in about an hour after we get there.” Sundays, I hate going places on Sundays.

“I see, but your friend. Will they be fine with you bringing a pony with you? You did tell them right?”

“There’s a reason I’m calling in this longstanding favor Rarity. It’ll cover the visit and the fainting spell.” I grinned, trying to picture the moment so I could savor it even more.

Rarity hadn’t been out of the house so looking around out the windows occupied most of her attention, as did a familiar slew of questions. Well, save for one I should’ve expected from the observant fashionista. “Why don’t you ever go out on Sundays?”

“Sunday is a very peculiar day, where a lot of places are closed or they have unusual hours. For most it’s a day of staying at home or attending church.”

“Oh?”

“Yes Rarity, and I don’t like to go out today because nothing ever seems to play out right on Sundays. Ever have days like that?”

“Yes, often when Sweetie Belle and her friends get dumped on me at the last second.”

I chuckled, just imagining what they could be like on an unexpected day seemed like cruel and unusual punishment. Personally, I think I could handle one or two of them, but the Cutie Mark Crusaders were rarely ever seen in a pair; one or three being the common groupings. “How dangerous are they when it’s like that?”

“It doesn’t give me time to lock everything up. Honestly, if somepony could handle them all the time then I’d love to know who they are.”

“What about Cherilee?”

“Oh, she gets enough of them when they’re at school. I couldn’t possibly ask her.”

“But you asked-”

“I know, but the fact remains.”

After a brief, pause we tried to just laugh it off. It just made things more awkward, but after a few seconds, it was irrelevant as I pulled up to our destination. The building itself had seen better days, but if Sam was to be believed the staff’s only gotten better over the years.

After we got out of my car I could see Sam waiting outside, and she seemed a little distraught from this distance. By the time we were up close it turned into a rush to catch her. “Come on Sam,” I said as I lightly slapped her cheek. “No passing out yet. You’re a better woman than this.”

“Nng, Alex?” She still seemed a little out of it. “Did I just imagine seeing you coming up here with a white unicorn?”

“Most certainly not,” Rarity objected as she glared at Sam. “I am quite real!”

“Right,” I added with a grin. It was just as I expected: priceless. “Sam, I’d like you to meet Rarity. Rarity, this is my friend Samantha.”

“Charmed,” said Rarity politely.

“Wait, Rarity as in My Little Pony’s Rarity?”

I nodded. “Mind pampering her a little while I get to work?”

Sam slowly got up and out of my grip. “I think so, you should just be lucky there’s not really anyone inside so there shouldn’t be that many questions. I mean it’s just Sergei, Maddy, and me and,” she glared at me, “is this why you rushed to finish? So you could avoid doing this on a busier day?”

I chose to avoid her gaze. While true, she was missing the point. “I didn’t take yesterday off like I usually do. I’m a little pleased I did too since it would’ve otherwise put me back a few days.”

“Okay,” she said in a slow, skeptical tone. “So, what on earth did you do to your hair?”

I turned to go inside. “There are some things Samantha that are best not to ask about. I’m going to get to work so enjoy yourself Rarity.”

After I walked out of sight, Rarity looked up to Sam. “I’m sorry if this is a problem, but he’s doing a favor for me and I just feel awful putting you in a position like this.”

Sam just shook her head, “no it’s okay. He just didn’t tell me anything, I feel like he just loves doing this to people.”

“Oh no, he knew you wouldn’t believe him. It’s written all over his face.” She paused for a moment, “do you think he looks good with longer hair?”

“A bit,” Sam replied as she started heading inside, “but how did he get that much.”

Rarity followed right behind her. “It all came in last night. Twilight thinks it might be some kind of wild sort of magic that’s just affecting him. It’s a little over my head, but she must be going absolutely crazy having no way to really prove she’s right.”

“Wait a second Rarity, how many ponies are here?”

“Well Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie, Spike and I are staying with Alex. He has been such a wonderful host. Fluttershy and Pinkie insisted that we help around the house so we’re all doing our part.” She chuckled some, “Rainbow Dash is just staying out of everypony’s way.”

“Are you serious?”

“It helps more than you’d think. Two weeks ago, we had to get new plates because she broke her twelfth while cleaning up after dinner. After that incident Rainbow was taken off dish duty.”

*****

Rarity sighed contently. “Thank you so much Sergei,” she looked over to her masseur.

“My pleasure Miss Rarity,” Sergei replied.

Rarity looked over to Sam who was getting a shoulder rub from the only other employee present. “So Sam, do you like Alex?”

“He’s a good friend,” she sighed, “nothing like Rick.”

“Yeah,” came my voice over the speaker system. “Sam loves my brother. How clear’s the sound out there?”

“Crystal clear, was something wrong?”

I cracked the door open. “Yeah, I want to kill the electrician and the last techie. It’s just a mess in here, but I’ve done my best.” I came out so see everyone so content. I really need a day off now. “Fixed the network issues I could, made some notes about others to do in the near future, and had to do a little work with the wiring.”

Rarity looked over to see me then turned back to Sam. “Someone else needs some time off.”

“Nah Rare,” I said dryly, “I need a soda and a few races of Mario Kart against Pinkie and Twilight. Feel any better though?”

She shook her head. “Not until you get over here and let somepony take care of you.”

*****

“Okay,” said Sam as Rarity and I left, “I’ll see you guys sometime soon.”

“Be sure to call first Sam,” I called over my shoulder.

Rarity giggled. “That wasn't a bad Sunday was it Alex?”

“Nah, not at all Rarity,” I gave a stretch, “not at all.”

12 - Rainbow Dash: What the Hay?

Please Celestia I beg you, what’s the deal with me? We changed bedmates yesterday and now I’m sharing a bed with Al. Last night, when I heard that, my heart began racing. I’ll admit he’s a good guy, but is this me telling me something I’m not seeing? Do I like him? For Luna’s sake, he’s not even a pony and I like him that way?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s Friday and I still have no clue what’s going on here. Alex spent all of yesterday trying to tune out Rarity’s begging and pleading, but he eventually caved today. I owe Pinkie forty bits when we get home and I am so not liking that. I mean I already owe Twilight thirty for when she totally flattened me in a Mario Kart versus match.

Anyways, earlier today I saw Twilight but, I only got a glimpse before she ducked into the study. I think she’s loosin it, but Al’s getting concerned. I don’t mean some normal kind of worried concerned, I mean the same concern he had for Fluttershy at the start of March, when spring really got started. I asked Fluttershy if she thought I was being paranoid about it, but she just told me to focus on one thing at a time. Play Skyrim or have a panic attack, that I couldn’t do both. Speaking of, Spike hates Skyrim so I try to play it when he’s not in the room.

“What’re ya writing Dashie,” came Pinkie Pie’s questioning voice from over Rainbow’s shoulder.

On impulse, the cyan pegasus slammed her journal closed. “It’s personal Pinkie,” she snapped. “But there’s... well there’s something on my mind.”

The party pony’s eyes blew up to twice their normal size as a broad grin appeared. “What is it? Can you tell me? Can you, can you, can you?”

Rainbow sighed. “Just promise me you won’t tell anypony? Or Spike?” She bit her lip, “or Al?”

Pinkie nodded and began to follow the very familiar motions. “I promise not to tell anyone. Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Rainbow fidgeted a little and got up, barring the door with a chair. “Okay, this doesn’t even leave the room Pinkie. I think I like Al.”

“Everypony likes Alley; he’s being a great friend looking out for us.”

“No not like that,” she retorted shyly.

“Oh,” Pinkie’s usual cheerfulness was pushed aside be the smug look that now adorned her face. “You like him like him don’t ya Dashie?”

Rainbow nodded slowly. “I think so, but he’s just not what I expected to like. I mean like, I was hoping I’d like a pony this way.”

“Awwww, you’re lucky to have a guy you like,” her usual cheerful smile had returned. “Do you think he likes you? Didja tell him?”

“Do you have any idea how hard it’ll be to tell him? I mean getting him alone is easy, I just have to stay up for him if he’s up late again, but I don’t think I can just say it like that. Think I should talk to somepony?”

“No, you said this doesn’t leave this room. We’re keeping it secret Dashie.”

“But isn’t romance Rarity’s thing?”

Pinkie stared at her desperate and confused friend. “Maybe you need some time to think about it before sharing this with anypony Dashie. Whaddya like about him?”

“He’s just so cool under pressure, I mean like remember when we first showed up?”

“Yeah, he kinda freaked out a little but went back to his normal thing right?”

“Seemed that way, he just sorta accepted that we were here and that was all there was to it. Meantime we were all freaking out.”

“But he said he was just bottling up his emotions. It isn’t healthy doing that, remember when I got all sad and I thought everypony didn’t wanna be my friend?” Rainbow gave an involuntary shudder at the mention of the incident. “I remember seeing his screen while I was talking to that sack of flour, he looked so sad.”

“But it was just a pair of eyes right? I mean how could you tell he was sad?”

“It was how he was looking Dashie, all swollen and tearing up. I mean if I had a good friend who’d stick by me like that, even if they were keeping the surprise party secret like everypony was, I might not have been talking to a pile of lint or a bag of flour…”

“…or a bucket of turnips?”

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “I really like Alley, but that’s cause he’s so umm… gimmie a minute,” the party pony began to really think about what she was saying. “I think the word was empathic. I heard Twilight use it once or twice about him before and I remember looking it up.”

“Can I have some time to myself now Pinkie? I-I need some time to think about a few things.”

Pinkie nodded and got the chair moved before leaving.

Rainbow sighed and opened her journal again.

Pinkie, well, she gave me a lot to think about. Lessie, I was talking about Twi and Al’s concerns. It’s not hard to put it all together I mean yeah, I don’t like how Twi’s got Al’s attention without even being seen. I think I have to tell him, maybe make sure Twi backs off. I don’t wanna turn Twi against me, no doubt she could kick my flank with her magic, but I also don’t wanna make Al not like me.

Why’s stuff hard all the time? It’s not cool anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had a weird dream last night, I mean really weird.

I was back in Ponyville, sitting on a cloud, and looking out to a small hill with a tree on it. I coulda swore somepony was there, but when I got there, there wasn’t anyone. By the time I left though, I looked back and saw somepony there again. Both times I saw them my heart was racing.

I think it was Al cause even Big Mac’s not that big. If it was, I gotta take him with us. If I can’t, then if he feels strongly about me I’m gonna stay and nopony’s gonna stop me. I don’t think I could live without him if he likes me that much back.

14 - Twilight Sparkle: Why?

I don’t get it anymore. I go to sleep and there he is. I see him standing there in the library, yelling at Spike for incorrectly categorizing books after Applebloom and her friends have been through. Normally I’d have to stop my experiments and yell at Spike or come back and have to reorganize everything myself. There’s something about Alex after he gets to work though.

Twilight sighed as her mind started to wander towards dreamland.

“Twilight you’re um,” Fluttershy nudged her friend. “I just want you to know that um… you’re okay right?”

“Huh?” The lavender unicorn snapped out of her dream. “Oh, hi Fluttershy, is something wrong?”

“Well it’s just um,” Fluttershy jabbed a hoof towards Twilight’s journal, “you don’t normally do that right?”

Twilight followed her friend’s hoof to a trail of smeared ink on damp paper. Oh no, she thought as her eyes widened. “Was I saying anything when you came in Fluttershy?”

“Um, I heard something about shelving and somepony being tall. I didn’t want to overhear anything, but it’s time for bed and you’re lying all over my side.”

The lavender unicorn’s eyes immediately darted to the digital clock on the nightstand. Just as Fluttershy said, it was eleven. Twilight wafted through dreamland for nearly three hours. “I’ll just scoot over for you Fluttershy. I still have a few things I want to write.”

The unusual squeak that accompanied Fluttershy’s smile solidified the pegasus’ curiosity. “Do you mind sharing? I promise not to tell anyone.”

“I’m sorry, but I-I just… I want to keep it secret.”

“Pretty please,” the normally demure mare pleaded. Even if her batting eyelashes and pleading expression went unnoticed, she couldn’t help herself.

Twilight fidgeted and shuffled over to clear space for her friend. “I just don’t want to talk about it. It’s embarrassing.”

Fluttershy hopped onto the bed and rustled under the covers before she decided to push further. “Is it about somepony I know?”

Twilight nodded as briefly as she could, doing her best to clean up her book with magic and obscure her reddening face. Fluttershy means well but I really don’t want to say.

You’ll have to tell somepony or it’ll just consume all of your attention just to keep it in, chided a second voice in Twilight’s head. You do want to get back home don’t you? Besides, you said it yourself. You need help!

Not even thinking to herself could help Twilight from realizing that she was making a very awkward pause between her and her bedmate. “You promise not to tell anyone?”

“It’ll be our little secret Twilight.”

Twilight sighed, hoisted her diary with magic and set it before her friend. “Go back a few pages.” I just can’t stand saying it yet, she silently added.

Fluttershy did exactly as instructed and turned a few pages back, reading carefully.

Brony (Broh•nee) noun - The older demographic of viewers of the show ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic’ and is commonly used as male term (the term ‘pegasister’ being applied as female in such cases.) Also, a term used for the community as a whole.

Comprehensive notes regarding Alex

My initial understanding of Alex was hazy at best. He tends to keep secrets close to his chest and almost wears a façade of a warm and reassuring personality. This observation doesn’t mean to say he isn’t reassuring, but it’s almost too prominent at times. I theorize that this is because he’s a brony (defined above) coupled with his attempts to be a good host. After all, there have been moments where he wasn’t a very understanding host.

Observations of Alex revealed he enjoys reading and thinking in excess. He solves problems for other humans on those electronic devices he called computers; those at least appeared to be challenging. Studying the books he has told me that he is engrossed in information and books I saw in locked containers also hint at his desire to collect early printings for some grander purpose. My assumption was disproven and they are in reality a collection of first and, when he couldn’t secure them, second printings of his favorite books.

Currently I recognize him as a similar individual to me. He is versed in a knowledge-oriented profession and tends to read books or play games where actions have meaning. For example, despite his aggravation towards one game in particular (Mass Effect 3) he enjoyed the overall story. His major complaint was most of the decisions he made in the previous two games had little or no impact in this last part of the story. I inquired to why he was so disappointed, and he explained about how there was initially a radiant story evolution based more around your decisions as opposed to a firm story that you were ‘railroaded’ into.

His choice in books ranged from the curious motions of a gentleman thief to a post-apocalyptic fantasy series about a half-blooded vampire. While these are fictional works, they have their own process of thinking and reader interpretation. Non-fiction books are mostly about historical figures, but also contain several mathematic and scientific books. Despite reading every book he has about them, I still have very little understanding of computers.

I’ve noticed some social similarities as well. In the past, when I lived in Canterlot, I was cut off from social interaction. I thought I didn’t need it. For the most part, Alex is the same. His work doesn’t make him a complete shut-in, but he still shows similar conditions to me socially. However, unlike me he exhibits several traits I lacked. The most prominent of these is the desire to comfort others physically when he finds he cannot express his feelings with non-contact expressions or words. In regards to this, I find him strangely animated, but I also find it close to a disregard to another’s personal space. I find this sort of feeling similar to Pinkie’s disregard, but it may just be a lot of pent up expression from being alone.

He studied at a college and did exceptionally well. Though he could have gone to a more specialized institution, he went to a school that encompassed a wider range of possibilities. Though he was primarily dedicated to information technology, he told me he ‘minored’ in philosophy. Despite both of these paths of learning he seems to have an innate skill at reading a person’s mood and adapting to the state of the situation based on how much he knows about who he’s interacting with.

Despite all of this information, from an emotional standpoint I really like Alex. He’s similar enough for me to feel a kinship, but different enough to not see him as a human proxy of myself. He makes my heart race at times and I feel like I’ll have to tell him about this sometime in the near future.

I may need moral support. I have no intention of going to Rarity though as she will enjoy the drama too much to provide concise advice.

“Oh Twilight,” Fluttershy began warmly.

“It’s so weird,” Twilight cut her off. “I mean he’s not a pony, he’s not even from Equestria for pony’s sake.”

“I don’t want to tell you what you need to do, but it doesn’t seem like you care enough about him not being a pony. You like him that way don’t you?”

“Well yes, yes I do but-”

“No buts,” the yellow pegasus wanted to sound like she was in absolute control of the situation. “Twilight, I know you don’t want to hear me tell you but you need to be assertive. Don’t you think you need to tell him you like him?”

“What if he says no? What if he thinks it’s weird? What if… if…”

“What if he likes you too? From what you’ve written you’re both so similar. Twilight, do you think he could possibly share your feelings?”

“I don’t have any solid evidence of even a remote chance. I mean I just have my observations and I,” Twilight trailed off as her mind began to hatch a plan. “What would you do in my hooves Fluttershy?”

“Well, I’d ask for help sorting things out and then work up the nerve to tell him. Alex is a kind person and I think he’ll be more understanding than you think he might be. If nothing else, he will hear you out. Just remember that the sooner you talk to him, the sooner you’ll get an answer.”

“Thank you Fluttershy.”

15 - Out in the Open

Three months, it’s been nearly three whole months and we still don’t have a way to get everypony home. Twilight had sequestered herself in the study again, leaving for just enough time to keep herself alive. I’m not the only one who shows far more worry than anything else. My work was showing my distress with every passing day.

“Yes, I’ll need to move your appointment to next week.” I tried to remain calm on the phone. I had to talk outside, Pinkie was plotting something and it was rather loud. “I’m sorry, but something has me rather busy right now. No, I don’t have an opening until Tuesday. Yes, yes five thirty works fine.” I gave a sigh as I hung up. This was the third job I had to reschedule this week and it was only Monday.

Sam had come by every day for a few weeks. I’d always buzz her in and she would try to work with Pinkie to keep all of our spirits high. Last Saturday however, after an impromptu saucy song and dance show with Pinkie, she stopped showing up all together. For the record, it was Pinkie that leaned towards the saucy end of the routine.

A week ago, I wouldn’t have had as heavy bags under my eyes as I do now. Nearly everyone was showing signs of fatigue, even Rainbow who would spend countless hours playing on the Xbox. I had also given up completely about how Rainbow could play video games without fingers to manipulate the controller. Spike was easier though, he had fingers but not Rainbow’s reactions; go figure. Rainbow would go out and fly from time to time, but much like her game reactions, she was sluggish at best. Even in these doldrums, Spike was outpaced by the pegasus’ reactions.

Today was just a disaster, I was a wreck, no pony had seen Applejack since she locked herself in the basement at the crack of dawn, and Twilight was lost in thought. Pinkie was showing signs of fatigue the one time I saw her, but she was working very hard in the kitchen after I returned inside. She had barricaded the door or something so nobody could get in to help her or even get a drink. I had gone out to get us a case of bottled water to remedy that already.

“Were they mad Alex?” Fluttershy’s soft voice greeted me. Her mane was frazzled, as if she was afraid of her brush, and she looked like she was having trouble sleeping. Yesterday, when we all resigned to the fact that Twilight would just sleep in the study, we shuffled our bedrooms again. This left the demure mare with me after a quick trade with Applejack. Like everyone else, she was constantly being nudged when she had shared a bed with Pinkie.

I looked at her with a very bleak look plastered on my face. “They didn’t sound it, but I know they were.” At one time, I would’ve called it cute when her face contorted into such a reassuring smile. Now it was far different. It was forced. She was far from the Fluttershy we all knew and loved. “Know what Pinkie’s doing in the kitchen?”

“No, she won’t let anypony in. She said it was a surprise for everypony when Rarity tried to get in.” After a few feeble flaps of her wings, I just kneeled down to look her in the eye. “It’ll be okay Alex,” she assured me before patting me on the back. “She’s doing her best to keep a smile on everypony’s face.”

“But doesn’t it seem like she’s trying extra hard to keep me happy Fluttershy? I know she doesn’t want me to break my promise.” Nobody in their right mind would dare break a Pinkie Promise. It would be far worse to break a Pinkie Promise with everypony on edge like they were now.

*****

Slowly the April night continued to grow fouler. Soon it would be raining, and if the weather reports were accurate, the worst storm in a decade was going to happen late tonight. Pinkie was still in the kitchen, what scheme she had up her hooves tonight was anyone’s guess. Spike was watching Rainbow play some sports game while Fluttershy and I were playing what felt like our millionth round of poker that night, Applejack and Rarity joined us somewhere along the way.

At the first crack of lightning, everypony heard something from upstairs. “I GIVE UP!” Twilight had screamed at the top of her lungs. I was the first to react as I ran upstairs at a speed I was sure even Rainbow could envy. This was far more important than the killer hand I had; after all, it was only a card game.

When I opened the door Twilight was slumped over, a massive pile of notes in front of her, books scattered all over, and a pile of discarded pens next to her. It was breaking my heart to hear her admit defeat like this. “Twi,” what little energy I had left in me tried its best to make sure I was honestly sad. “You need sleep. You’re not thinking straight and you could really use a good meal. If you’d let me work with you I doubt you’d be saying that.”

She looked to the doorway and got up, trotting over to me with tears in her eyes. “No, I can’t get letters to Princess Celestia. I can’t just teleport us home. I can’t do anything.” She slumped onto her haunches and looked up to me. “What can I do?”

I sat down in the doorway and looked at her apologetically. “You can be the Twilight Sparkle we all know. You can get back up and give it another try. This time you ask for some help though. I know I don’t know anything about magic, but I want to help.”

“No, I can’t be the Twilight you all know,” she seemed to ignore the last part. “I’m just not that good anymore.”

“You’re just going to give up?” A scowl was now on my face. “You’re not just somepony. You are Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s most faithful student, the embodiment of the Element of Magic, and my best friend. You don’t just simply give up you call in reinforcements. To a smart mare like you this is war.”

She cried. For how long I couldn’t say, but I stayed there the whole time. She stopped when she saw that everypony was assembled behind me and that everyone shared the same pleading expression. “Okay Alex, I’ll try again. I want your help; your knowledge of this world might help me see something I didn’t find.”

A sound like a noisemaker went off behind me and we all looked to Pinkie at the back of the group, her coat had gone back to the vibrant pink we all remember. It’s been a week since we saw that. “Well, everypony’s surprise is down on the dinner table.” Her voice was no longer cracked and forced. She sounded genuinely happy; it was a relief to no longer hear her forcing such a happy tone.

Nearly everypony turned around and followed the hopping party pony downstairs. I waited for Twilight to get up before standing myself. “Still friends Twi?”

Twilight sniffled and nodded her head. The two of us went downstairs together in silence, our faces flushed. There are just some things you didn’t have to say. Some of these things should’ve been said but there was too much tension.

When we reached the dining room, what we saw at our usual seats was beyond strange. Cakes in the shape of cutie marks, everypony had their own before them aside from Spike and myself. At my place was a cake in the shape of interwoven gears; at Spike’s seat was an interesting sugar sculpture.

“Uhh Pinkie how did you get your hooves on a fire ruby in this world?” Spike’s question was the one we were all probably thinking. Pinkie had her limits and we already knew that.

“Silly Spike,” her response was disturbingly chipper. “I made it from sugar, it was soooo hard to make and I had to think for a long time about how I would make it. That’s also why I had Applejack in the kitchen helping me. Do you like it?”

The dumbwaiter, I thought, no wonder we didn’t see her since she went into the cellar. Wait, that thing’s ancient how did, my eyes narrowed a little, Pinkie Pie…

“It’s perfect, thanks Pinkie.”

“Then why do I have a pair of gears Pinkie,” I don’t have a cutie mark and it wasn’t a computer or anything else like that either. I’m not completely sure about the former by now though. I’m really starting to think that I’m thinking more like a pony with every passing day.

“Well, you don’t have a cutie mark so I guessed what it would look like if you did have one. Do you like it?”

I was beside myself; Pinkie came up with a cutie mark for me. “I love it, but there’s more to it than just saying that. I just…I can’t manage to find the words.” The sheer joy I felt was undeniable. It isn’t often that someone would see something like this, but I thought she got me pegged pretty good. “Thank you so much Pinkie.”

My words or lack thereof, seemed to blow her away as she vanished from everypony’s sight, causing us to rush to her side. With some work, we got her back on her hooves and seated. “Right, I say we dig in. We should enjoy these lovely cakes Pinkie and Applejack have kindly made.”

At sound of my suggestion, Pinkie raised a hoof. “Actually, I have a teeny tiny confession. I want everypony to give their gift to somepony they really care about. Not in a like like kind of way, but that you really, really care about.” Eight pairs of eyes looked to each other with a great amount of consideration.

Applejack grinned. “Thing is, you can only give it to one pony.”

I can’t vouch for everyone else but personally, I thought it was genius. We had to give something that was, for lack of better words, ourselves to somepony else. I was curious what those two were scheming, but like everything else regarding Pinkie, I couldn’t place my hoof… I mean hand… I mean-oh, you know what I mean. Confound these ponies…

Rarity started us off by giving her diamond cake to Spike. “Spike, you’re always there when I need you. Always willing to do whatever I ask you to do. You should take my cake. I hope you enjoy it.”

He took it, like it was some sort of sacred relic. In return, he gave his sugar ruby to Rarity. He didn’t say anything, but he may as well have screamed, “I love you” at the top of his lungs. At least I know I wasn’t the only one thinking it.

Fluttershy was next to move, giving her butterfly cake to Pinkie. “You worked so hard Pinkie, keeping this secret from everypony. I umm, I want you to have mine. If that’s okay with everypony I mean.”

Rainbow Dash was thinking hard. “Alex, take mine.” She passed her rainbow lightning bolt cake to me from across the table. “I want to thank you for helping me keep my spirits high. So I can, you know, keep moving towards my dreams.”

I was beside myself; I didn’t see it coming at all. In my periphery, I saw Twilight glaring daggers at Rainbow. I thought about this hard. “Fluttershy, you’re always looking out for me. Even with everything going on.” Both Rainbow and Twilight glared at Fluttershy right then. It’s not something simple like affection, it’s the support she showed me.

After I returned to my seat, I looked to the rainbow bolt cake. Did I really deserve this gesture? What about Twilight’s feelings? I’m not blind, she gave Rainbow one of those glares. What about my own feelings? Where does it all fit together? Does it even fit together? The questions crept into my mind and I didn’t even hear why Twilight traded her cake with Applejack for hers. I was just lost in my thoughts and my doubts; my head was spinning around like crazy.

The trading ended with Pinkie passing hers to Rainbow Dash, but I could tell it helped that Rainbow provided a good form of entertainment for everypony until she got mad at whatever game she was playing. It became hit or miss when she got mad.

*****

After dinner, which followed desert tonight, everypony was starting to settle into how we used to be. We all cleaned up a little, made us all feel better all things considered. We watched a movie together, and we played a round of the quiet game where Fluttershy, still the champ, beat me when I failed to resist The Stare. I swear using that thing’s just cheating.

“I don’t care how many times I see it,” Rainbow squealed, “Indiana Jones is just awesome!” We all could see through her, it was like watching Daring Do to her.

“Nope it’s got to be Silent Movie,” objected Pinkie. “It’s funny and a real rollercoaster. Who was it who did those movies Alex?”

“Mel Brooks did Pinkie.” I responded; it was a familiar question to hear from her. She could practically worship the ground Brooks walked on and still forget his name every once and a while. I kinda think she was trying to do it for comedic effect sometimes.

“Yeah, he does some really funny movies!”

“Yer half right Pinkie,” Applejack was up to bat in the discussion. “It has to be Blazing Saddles.”

“You would like a western movie Applejack,” said Rainbow coyly. “But it’s also a comedy, can you make up your mind?”

“Back to the Future,” objected Twilight. “It’s a classy time travel movie!”

I had this feeling of impending doom; there was a four-way fan pony war about movies brewing. Fluttershy, Spike, and I elected to duck for cover before things got out of hand. This unfortunately abandoned Rarity, who was on the other side of the room, while Rainbow countered Twilight by mentioning everything past the DeLorean.

“I like a good movie as much as the next guy,” I whispered to them, “but they’re taking this too far.”

Spike nodded, “at least they’re not involving us, right Fluttershy?” We both looked to where Fluttershy was.

She was now up in the air arguing her case against everypony else. “Bambi, I really like Bambi girls.” Fluttershy was holding her ground, remaining assertive, and giving off this feeling as though she was perfectly right.

Rainbow scoffed at the newcomer to the argument. “But you squeal and hide when it comes to when Bambi’s mother is shot every time!”

“So, should we get involved Alex?” Spike was fidgeting. He was worried and I would side with him in a heartbeat, we even sacrificed Rarity to this mess to stay out of it. Then again, this needed to be stopped before it turned into full-scale war. My living room can’t handle a war.

“What do you think we should do Spike?” We remained hidden, planning carefully, while the others bickered. “So it’s agreed then right?”

Spike nodded and we hopped out of our hiding place to see a room full of worry. Whatever plan we had died on the spot, strangled to death by the tension. We looked at the girls, who were in turn, looking out the window. There was a pair of headlights coming up the driveway. The first thing that crossed my mind was how long they had been all here followed swiftly by what day today was. For the love of Celestia, my brother wouldn’t any of take this well at all. This required booze. Lots and lots of booze…

16 - The Unspoken

Not good, this is not good at all. How do I explain this? Celestia please give me a sign that my life can get better soon! A key rattled in the front door’s lock. I looked to the hall and beckoned everypony to follow me. The flapping of wings and the shuffling of hooves on the carpet told me everypony was right behind me. “We need to explain this as soon as possible,” I whispered. “I don’t think my brother could handle it in the morning.”

It was priceless, seeing a pretty rough and firm boy scout like Rick react like he did as soon as we came into the hall. He just stood there, one pair of eyes met the other eight and for a brief moment time seemed to give pause. Then, the sound of my brother Rick’s soaking wet rucksack hit the floor hard. He staggered for a moment, buckling under his own shock before dropping to his knees.

“Rick please,” I tried to tell him. “Stop being such a drama queen.”

“Yes dear, you’re not pretty enough to be one,” Rarity added. I glared at her over my shoulder; that was going to be my joke.

Rick looked from ponies to me and then tried to return to his feet. After a moment he spoke. “Al, I thought it was just a show.”

I turned back to look at his pale face, meeting his expressionless face with a smug grin. “So did everypony else Rick. You look like you could use a drink or two though.” I looked down to a mane of cotton candy. “Think you could get something for him Pinkie?”

“Okie dokie Alley,” she answered in her ever-chipper tone.

“Be creative but not too strong, he’ll still need to get to bed.” Pinkie nodded and rushed to the kitchen, leaving a faint pink smoke outline from where she was a second ago.

We all helped get Rick into the living room, where a strange bubbling neon blue concoction was waiting for him. How and why were back in their place on pure reflex. Pinkie plus questions equals reason curses, flips you off, and storms out while still cursing loudly.

“It won’t kill me will it,” Rick said jokingly.

“Only if you down it in one gulp,” chirped Pinkie in response.

I helped him over to the seat before the drink. “Just take it step by step Rick. And I’m sorry about this but you’ll be bunking up with somepony.”

He looked over to me. “With somepony, Al have they been here long?”

“About three months now.”

“But you’re not saying someone,” he gave me a stare. “You also said everypony earlier.”

I shrugged. “I adjusted. Think about it, there are six ponies, a baby dragon, and a human. You tell me, who’s the majority?”

He took a sip of the, now frothing, drink. Did the drink make sense? If you said ‘no’ then you’re still with me on this. I call Pinkie logic on this one. Regardless, he started to come to grips with things a little more. “What’s in this thing?”

Pinkie put on her best thinking face, not a very convincing one I might add. “It started as just a screwdriver but I kinda winged it after a little while. I thought you might want something a little stronger.”

“Figures,” I said flatly and several heads, Pinkie’s included, nodded in agreement. Everypony was gathering around Rick, he was getting some well-deserved attention. I’ve enjoyed plenty of mixed drinks the party pony has made. Long story short, they’re great as long as you drink them slowly. Bad news is they’re mostly ‘a drop of this, twist of that’ so I can’t give you any tips for a quick pick-me-up Pinkie Pie style.

“So who’s bunking up with me,” Rick asked after a few more sips.

I put on a far more convincing thinking face than Pinkie. “Who’s willing to bunk up into a group of three then?”

“The real question is who can handle Pinkie,” Rainbow quipped. “I don’t feel like waking up with bruises again.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “How about Rarity, Spike and I share a bed? We just need another blanket for Spike.”

“That sounds fine,” I replied. “Are there any objections?” Heads shook, save for Rainbow who seemed a little lost in thought. “So, are there any other changes?”

“Do ya mind if I bunk up with you again Al,” finally asked Rainbow Dash bashfully, making it clear what I thought from desert.

I nodded complacently; I was comfortable with that for now. I know Twilight wasn’t too happy with it, as she glared mercilessly at the back of Rainbow’s head. “Do you have something to say Twilight?”

Rarity was grinning ear to ear. I’m willing to wager everything that she was seeing all the drama unfurling already. She was just waiting to see which way the wind would be blowing.

“Well,” she cleared her throat, “I’d like to rescind my earlier idea and share a bed with you and Rainbow.”

“Well? Is there anything wrong with that?”

“Well yeah,” spoke my brother. “Look, I don’t mean to rule your life or anything Alex but you’re comfortable with something like this?”

Rarity had listened to him intently, and with a full arsenal of facts I couldn’t imagine her not wanting to ask that herself. I could only imagine what was brewing in her mind, but my mind was dead set on an answer to this.

“Yes,” I said with a tone of finality to it. “The three of us need to have a long talk so I see no harm in it.”

“Well, then who will I be with?”

“How about you and Pinkie share your room? I mean that way nobody has to cope with bunking with Pinkie right now.” At least while there’s so much tension in the air, I silently added. “Objections to that Rick?”

“No,” he said plainly, “I mean I don’t really mind since they’re bunk beds but why don’t you want to share a bed with her?”

“Oh it’s ‘cause I fidget in my sleep a lot,” Pinkie replied in a chipper tone, beating all of us to the explanation. I don’t think any of the others showed signs of it, but I still had a few welts and I was bunking with Pinkie early on in March.

“We’ve been changing sleeping arrangements every once and a while,” I explained. “It works out rather nicely I think. Well, I mean nopony complains about it at least.”

He took one last sip of his drink and looked at me. “We’ll have a long talk about what these ponies are doing to you in the morning.” He set the now smoking glass down and went up to his room.

The army seemed to do one thing to him: make him a total jerk. Where’d the brother who liked the unusual day to day go? “They’ve done nothing but make my life fun,” I grumbled. I glanced over to see Rainbow and her flared wings. “Something wrong Dash?”

“He’s just creepin’ me out Al,” she muttered. “I mean you’re being a good guy and he just shows up being all shocked and grumpy. I didn’t mean to look the part, but he was seriously being uneasy.”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Well that aside, how about you stay with Applejack for now Fluttershy?”

“Okay,” the pegasus replied.

Spike fidgeted. “Well um, Rarity do you think I should get a blanket?”

“Only if you want to Spikey,” she replied warmly

After everything was settled, Rick just gave a noncommittal shrug and took his bag upstairs.

“He’s probably trying to dredge his mind out of the gutter,” said Twilight with confidence.

“Well let’s see,” I gave another ‘thinking face,’ one that was far less serious. “For the past three months I’ve been surrounded by six lovely ladies and all he’s seen is protocol and a lot of beige. I’m afraid to admit it but I’d be thinking the same thing if our roles were reversed. Then again, I’m a brony and he’s apparently not.”

Pinkie squealed. “Aw, you’re the best Alley.”

I looked around to everypony and got a weird vibe. “I can tell there’s a lot of tension. If anypony’s got something to say then now’s the time we get it out in the open.”

Rainbow gave her hoof a wave. “I just want to say that I like ya Al.” She looked around to a few skeptical faces, me facepalming, and Twilight’s glare. “Yeah, I said it Twi.”

After a long, awkward silence, my printer started itself up and we all looked over to the machine. It quickly churned out a page and I rushed over to get it.

My little ponies,

I hope this is reaching you all. I have been trying to find all of you for months and I think I found you all at last. Please try to respond to me as fast as possible.

Your Benevolent Ruler,
Princess Celestia

“Girls, I have news from…Canterlot?” Wait a second, it churned around in my head a little more. “Twilight, I’ve got an idea!”

She rushed forward and saw the short letter in my hands. “This is some weird thing with technology isn’t it?”

“Yes. No. Sort of. Can you pick up some kind of magical aura from the page?”

She focused on it, “it’s hard to explain. There are numbers but that’s it.”

“Tell me exactly what they are and in what order. We’ll sort it out in the morning, but while it’s fresh in your mind tell me.” She recited them to me and I wrote them down quickly.

*****

If somebrony walked up to you on the street and told you that you could fax letters to Equestria would you believe them? I thought not. Fortunately, that meant it worked both ways. In the morning, we’d be testing it but it was time for sleep.

I ushered everypony upstairs and I turned on my computer, willing to look over every byte of data if I had to. It didn’t take me long; I found out that the hard drive was full. I never let my main hard drive fill. The question was now, what the hay could it be filled with.

I went searching for the largest files and came across one in particular, the fanfic I started writing when this all began. According to the count, the document went up to page ten thousand forty seven and nearly all of what little I chose to read was told from my perspective. I simply shut my computer down and headed upstairs.

I could see where Twilight was coming from. I mean she and I have been prone to think along the same lines. Then there was Rainbow. Dash wasn’t something I couldn’t understand. She had thoughts that were off the walls at all times. She was a hard read, perhaps impossible to me to really fathom all the time. On the surface she was always ‘awesome this’ and ‘that was cool’ but I often thought that there was something more in there. I mean she couldn’t be so naïve as to think the universe spun around the cool and awesome.

Being romantic seemed like it’ll only hurt more once they leave. Could I handle leaving with them? Would I want to leave with them, I couldn’t answer that anymore. Thinking about it made me hesitate on the idea. If anyone asked me that a week ago I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat, but now I wasn’t so sure anymore. At any rate in the morning, I demand answers, lots of them.

17 - Twilight Sparkle: Clarity

I missed my chance. I mean I completely blew it. Alex and I had a perfect moment for me to tell him how much I cared and I just didn’t tell him how I felt. Now, ugh, now his brother is here and Rainbow’s just up and said how she feels in front of everypony. She’s just… I don’t know how to really put it. Rainbow’s forcing me to take action, but I don’t want to come off as too strong; I don’t think Alex would like something like that too much. Well, from me at least since he could just think that’s Rainbow being who she is.

I mean… I just… I wish somepony could’ve taught me how to act around guys. I mean, I never learned how to draw their attention and keep it. How can I win Alex over when my competition could have him wrapped around her hoof before I can really act?

No. This is getting me nowhere. Alex is smart and fun to be around. Unfortunately, Fluttershy spends a lot of time with Alex. Too much in my opinion and I won’t stand for more competition, especially competition that cute. Fluttershy’s not getting in my way, not when he and I are already close enough for me to get him alone. Then again, getting him alone without alerting Rainbow Dash is the real problem.

Twilight quickly closed her diary and levitated it over to the bedside cabinet as the sound of the doorknob reached her ear. Rainbow had also taken notice and closed her own journal.

“Girls,” Alex abruptly said as he glanced from Rainbow to Twilight, “I’d like a little obvious acknowledgement from both of you. What’s the deal? You know, just say it so we can clear the air a bit. I’m not willing to let a war get going in this house.”

“Rainbow and I are both on opposing sides of the same front,” said Twilight definitively.

“We both like you,” her opposition added. “That’s all we’re both willing to share while we’re all in the same room.”

Alex just sighed and fell back on the bed, letting himself get lost in thought before drifting off to sleep.

18 - Dash's Thoughts

At sunrise I heard the usual ruckus. Someone had already gotten up and was making breakfast, odds were good that the news was being watched by Pinkie and Rarity, and I was now smushed in a pony sandwich. Rainbow’s mane tickled my nose just as much as Twilight’s hooves sent chills down my back.

No, it isn’t what you’re thinking, though now that I said that you’re probably thinking it a little louder. Ever since my first bedroom swap, I got used to wearing pajama pants to bed instead of just my boxers. I never really had proof until that first swap, which put me with Fluttershy that I tossed at all in my sleep. Ever since then, with exception to the week I shared with Pinkie, I experienced a pegasus lying on one of my arms every morning.

“Rainbow,” I whispered to her, “I need my arm now.”

“Five more minutes Al,” she sleepily mumbled before turning over and freeing my arm.

I slid out of bed and made a beeline to the adjoining bathroom for a shower as I thought about my situation. I thought that would be greedy if I left, choosing them over my life among humans. The inverse however, seemed to paint me as a selfless jerk since I would be forsaking them to continue to live among humans. Either way I felt like less of a person.

Upon returning for something to wear, Rainbow was looking over to me from bed. She gave me a sleepy stare and completely ignored how screwed up her mane looked. “We might be able to go home right,” she asked before trying to stifle a yawn.

I gave a weak smile but nodded. “Seems like that’s the case, I’ll really miss everypony.”

“I want to be here… with you.” She seemed to completely ignore the very rare occurrence of saying ‘everypony’ instead of ‘everyone’ but I think I’d chalk that up to last night when I seemed to abandon the use of the latter.

“Oh no you don’t,” came Twilight’s irritable voice from in front of the mirror. Unlike Rainbow, she was wide-awake with a brush running through her mane. “If we can get home then we’re all going!”

The unicorn’s comment seemed to wake Rainbow better than the usual guide into a freezing cold shower did. “You’ll have to take me bucking and screaming Twilight! If he doesn’t go then I won’t go either!”

“I’m just gonna get some clothes and change,” I muttered, grabbing a shirt and jeans before ducking back into the bathroom. This was one catfight I wasn’t about to get mixed up in. I would however, get the first aid kit from under the sink.

*****

“Would you want to go,” Twilight asked while I was checking one of her forelegs for something aside from her bruises. I thought I saw blood.

“You girls all belong over there,” I glanced over to Rainbow who was now sporting an icepack. I wasn’t the only one with first aid concerns. Fluttershy, who claimed to nearly get blindsided by a flying pillow, brought the icepack for her friend. “If I belong there, with you, then I’m sorry that I didn’t try to break you both up.”

“That’s-ouch,” Rainbow cursed loudly as Fluttershy started wrapping a bandage on her flank. “Watch how much pressure you’re putting on Fluttershy.”

“I’m really sorry Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy said meekly, “it’s just that um why were you both fighting?”

“I don’t wanna go back to Equestria if we can’t take Al back with us,” replied her friend irritably.

Fluttershy glanced over to me, a concerned look on her face. “Could you pass me the disinfectant Alex?”

“Sure,” I replied as I passed her the bottle.

“Have you thought about that at all Alex? I mean, if you want to talk about it.”

“I need to sit on it some more Fluttershy. I mean if nothing else,” I glared at Rainbow then Twilight, “I don’t want you both fighting again. Have I made myself clear?”

“Yes Alex,” they replied dryly in unison.

*****

After Fluttershy and I finished patching the two up as best we could, the four of us went downstairs to a very peculiar argument.

“Waffles,” Pinkie had taken to waffles. It started when she found the waffle iron and went right to the top of her ‘silly appliances’ list, right above the rice cookers. I guess why we used electricity for either was somehow beyond her very unusual grasp of reality.

“Pancakes,” argued Rick’s voice. Simple and practical, just what I expected from him.

I sighed. “Could you please make my eggs scrambled today Applejack?” I simply ignored the two bickering over the pancake batter and went right for something simpler: cereal and scrambled eggs.

“Sure thing,” she replied happily. The farmer was pretty well adjusted to everything; seemed one more human in the house didn’t faze her in the least.

“Uh Twi, what happened to you and Rainbow,” asked Spike with a concerned look. All eyes shifted to the two and all we could hear was the skillet. The fight’s aftermath had rattled everyone at least a little.

“Just a scuffle Spike,” I said calmly, “everyone’s fine now, so don’t worry.” I just wanted to put it past us. I didn’t want to feel guilty in front of everyone.

“You both look awful,” commented Rarity from her seat. “You’re both all bandaged up and,” she stared at Rainbow, “how in Equestria did you get a black eye Rainbow Dash?”

“Twilight threw my journal at me,” she grumbled.

“I said I was sorry,” added Twilight shyly, “we were really blowing everything out of control.”

“I think I was a bit too much of a coward though,” I commented as I poured a tall glass of orange juice.

“No,” Rainbow squealed quickly. “You shouldn’t have gotten involved; I mean I don’t think you should’ve gotten caught in the crossfire.”

“You could’ve gotten seriously hurt,” Twilight added with a curt nod. “I mean we don’t have much problem shaking this sort of thing off in a day or two, but you’d be down for a while and you have a job to do Alex.”

*****

The next few days were spent faxing an unfathomable number of letters to Princess Celestia about how to get the girls, and Spike, back home. I did however save time on Friday to have a long talk with my brother about everypony. It seemed beyond strange to actually send letters with a feature I actually never used on my printer to a distant world.

“Getting used to everything Rick?” We sat out on the porch that afternoon. I thought that giving it the rest of the week would help. Sadly, it was getting awkward and a second, albeit verbal, round between Twilight and Rainbow didn’t make things any better.

“I miss having burgers Alex,” he replied flatly.

I snickered. “Then go out and get one. Just don’t come back with it.”

“Well then how do you eat that rabbit food every day?”

“It’s not that bad with a few good spices,” I replied with a very good attempt to look dignified. I was all for a vegetarian lifestyle now and it would take a long time to deprogram it at this point. “Is there anything else on your mind?”

“Seems a little silly now,” he smiled, “I mean I came home and saw you and a bunch of characters from a show.”

“Yeah about that; how did you hear about it?”

“Soldiers are still people bro. They talk, and some talked about the show.”

I grinned. “It’s right up my alley Rick.”

“Alexander, you aren’t getting close to any of them are you?” He sounded serious. Whenever he didn’t shorten my name at all he was always serious.

“Richard,” I matched his tone, “what business is it to you? If I’m close then it’s my business and you should be happy for me.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “You’re my brother and they don’t belong here.”

“I know that,” I sighed, “what would you do if I liked somepony? I think I really like one of them and if you don’t like it then speak up.”

“Which one is it then? The tomboy? The nerd? The crazy one?”

I snickered causing him to stop and give me a weird look. “Rick, they’re all a little crazy. Pinkie’s just,” I tried to come up with the best way to phrase it. “Well… amusing but no I don’t like her in a romantic sense. She spices life up a bit and it keeps everything interesting. I gotta warn ya though; you better be paying attention if she’s twitching.”

He rolled his eyes. “Fine, then what about the other five of them, you like one of them?”

“I’m torn between two of them to really be accurate. I mean I like Twilight cause she’s bookish and nerdy. Her magic and my electronics aside, we have a lot of common ground.”

“And who’s the other one?”

“Rainbow,” I replied warmly. “Dash, well she confessed that she likes me. I always thought she was cool, but now I really want to figure out why she likes me. I wouldn’t do something like read her journal, I wouldn’t be able to survive the repercussions of that idea. I just wonder what’s going on in that head of hers and it’s like she pulls me in deeper. Ya know what I’m sayin’ Rick?”

“A little, but that’s pretty flowery Alex. Are you sure they aren’t making you a bit girly?”

“I was always a bit like that Rick, you just never saw it. I know you always thought I was just a nerd.”

“No, I saw a brother who always stood his ground and was a constant rebel towards his upbringing. You didn’t like what all the money we had made mom and dad act like. If it wasn’t for you and Jessie being good role models I don’t think I’d make the cut for the army. Reservist maybe, but definitely not out in the Middle East. Made a difference to me Alex, never forget that.”

“Still miss Jessie at all Rick,” I asked him, doing my best to move away from the ‘relationship’ subject.

“Always ‘round now, her birthday’s coming up right?”

“Must be losing track of time, you missed it Rick. It was a week before you got home.”

“What did ya do, I mean you’ve got all those ponies to keep an eye on so you probably didn’t visit her.”

“She’d want us to move on eventually Rick, I’m just trying to do that. All that fighting over there, I mean like how do you guys deal with it all the time?”

Rick just shrugged. “Well, how have you not gone insane with six ponies in the house?”

“Rainbow plays video games or flies around like she is today,” I looked up to see a rainbow colored streak zoom by against the overcast sky. “Pinkie, believe it or not, is a lot of help with my work; she catches things I don’t. Applejack’s thinking that if they stay much longer she’ll want to start a little garden to spend time on. Twilight’s been busting her flank trying to get everyone home and the two of us geek out from time to time too.”

“What about the others?”

“Well, I don’t really talk to Rarity too often; she usually spends time keeping things clean and orderly. Well, by her standards at least. Fluttershy does too many different things, but she’s always a big help. She does a lot of chores around the house before I can get to them. Then there’s Spike, I got him hooked on video games pretty early on and we kinda lost him for the most part.”

“Sounds like you guys are one big family. Well, except for what happened on Tuesday morning, and yesterday now that I think about it.”

“Yeah, I need to get the full story from those two. You might not have caught onto it when you first came home, but I hope you figured it out the next day. Thing is, Twilight’s a bit jealous of Rainbow. She was upfront with confessing and getting more attention from me. Rainbow made me think a lot about how they fit into my life and how I fit into theirs. I’m still not too sure about if I would go with them if could. I mean I’d be picking up and leaving so suddenly. Everything else aside, I’d like to ask you to pack up and head to your own place in town sometime soon.”

“Wouldn’t you want me here to say good-bye and stuff?”

“I’d love you to stay for something like that, but there’s this girl who’s head over heels for you and a house full of ponies might deter her from wanting to be romantic with you.”

“Wait, you mean that Sam’s still got a thing for me?”

“Have a problem with an older woman Rick? I mean she’s not that much older than you but that doesn’t mean she isn’t.”

“Al, she really likes me that much?”

“I swear you should listen to those things called ‘feelings’ from time to time. I’d put good money down that she’d be willing to move in with you at the very least.”

“Alright, but in return you better get things straightened out here. Two girls interested in you and a big decision in the future, you need to focus on that stuff.”

Despite what I thought about my brother, he had a serious point. Twilight might’ve seen me like I see her, in fact, I’m pretty sure she did. Rainbow however, I’d love to know how she thought I piqued her interest.

*****

I waited for Rainbow to finish writing in her journal before I even thought about talking things over with her. I didn’t want to blow things out of proportion so I had waited until we were at least somewhat alone.

“Rainbow what brought this along,” I asked her after she closed her journal. “This whole love confession thing doesn’t seem like you.”

Rainbow looked away from me. She mumbled something I couldn’t really hear.

I sat down beside her and tried to get her to look me in the eye. “Please Rainbow, can you tell me what makes me so special to such a cool pegasus?”

It was weird, as if you feel the world will end from how uncharacteristically weird seeing Rainbow Dash acting like Fluttershy is. “Um it’s just,” her voice was barely above a whisper, “I really just like you so much.”

I gave her a skeptical stare. “You seriously don’t know why?”

She quickly shook her head, causing her normally windswept mane to go frizzy. “You make me feel fantastic just from being near me. My heart races, even more than when I’m doing some cool aerial trick. Just… just feel it for yourself,” she had a shy smile and a reddening face. “I wanna show you how fast you make my heart race is all so don’t get any ideas!”

I reached towards her, letting her guide my hand and I could feel it, the quickening pulse of her heart. It was going so fast that I couldn’t imagine anything staying that fast for too long. It was so sudden, I pulled her into a tight hug practically on instinct. I gave her a gentle smile as I ran my fingers through her mane. “How long have you felt like this Dash?”

“Weeks ago,” she murmured as she leaned into my shoulder, “ever since we shared a bed the first time. You’re cool in your own way, and I think that’s what I love the most.”

“You don’t see me like a male version of Twilight do you?”

“No,” she replied with a snicker, “you’re cool, not an egghead.”

“I am an egghead Rainbow,” I said proudly, “I just don’t care that I’m an egghead. I want you girls to be okay, I want you all to be happy, I want to keep you all safe.”

“Fine,” she said as she pulled away from me; her face looked redder than the streak of crimson in her forelock. “You care a lot and you’re an egghead. To me, just me, I think you’re the coolest of the cool.” She shied away again. “You’re the kind of cool that doesn’t have to show off how cool you are.”

“And you’re the kind of cool I like,” I told her. “You do cool things and never ever leave your friends hanging. You may have a brash streak, but it doesn’t matter. Coolness and loyalty define you and that’s all there is to it. Dash, why do you like a human and not a pony this way?”

“I don’t care that you’re not a pony. That really doesn’t matter to me. I want to be here,” she said as she nudged closer and brushed my arm with one of her wings, “with you.”

“But what abou-” I started before being cut off by Rainbow, leaning in and planting a kiss on my lips. She didn’t try to press further, probably afraid of rejection.

As Rainbow broke away from me, she smiled. “I want to be with you,” she repeated teasingly.

“What if you can go home and I don’t want to go?” I felt like I didn’t get a real answer last time, I thought she was just reacting to Twilight’s presence.

She tickled my nose with a wingtip. “I won’t leave without you and nopony’s gonna stop me.”

I blushed. “And if they force you?”

“I’m gonna raise all Tartarus and make sure they bring you along Al. There’s no way I’d go without you.”

I couldn’t help but be pleased with this remark. In a way, I could live with someone this loving abducting me. If nothing else, it makes a funny story to tell Scootaloo, if she’s anywhere as close to how she is in the show at least. “I couldn’t ask for a more direct filly to be in love with me.” I turned on my side and pulled the covers up. “I still have to talk to Twilight but we’ll work this out Dash.”

“Please,” she told me as she snuggled up against my back. “Whatever happens, just call me ‘Dashie’ okay?”

I smiled and resisted the urge to turn over and wrap my arm around her. “Alright Dashie,” I told her. I wasn’t about to be too affectionate towards her; not without hearing Twilight out at the very least.

19 - Heart-to-Hearts for Eggheads

It took days to pry Twilight away from faxing her mentor her theories about returning home. I managed to get her away on Monday though.

“Why did you want to talk Alex,” she asked me after I closed the study’s door.

“I spoke with Dash already. She’s already told me everything from how she feels to why she’s so adamant about everything. I… I want to hear your side of things.” I closed the shades to obscure the sunlight and any possible onlookers’ view.

“There’s not much to tell you,” she replied dryly.

I gave her a skeptical look. “Twi don’t try to think I’m stupid. Speak up or stop being jealous, you don’t get middle ground.” I sighed. “Dash told me her feelings, and don’t make me pry yours out with a friend or two.”

Her eyes widened as her face blanched, she knew I meant business. “You wouldn’t!”

“I’ll be right back with Rarity and Fluttershy,” I said calmly as I went for the door. Rarity would spill everything she knew if Twilight couldn’t say it. Fluttershy’s no slouch when it comes to romantic things either, she could spill everything with the right application of pressure.

“Please stop,” she squealed before the door was enveloped in a purple aura. “I’ll tell you Alex. Just… just don’t get Rarity involved! She… she was talking about how happy Rainbow was sounding the past few days and I resigned to the fact that she was too close to you for anything to matter.”

“Twi, I want to hear both of you out before I really think about it too much. Tell me how you feel.”

She released the door from her magic and took in a deep breath. “Okay, you’ve been a big help to me. You’ve always been so kind and quick to help anypony if you could. You’ve even been so honest about if you couldn’t but still tried your hardest to figure it out.”

“But that’s not all is it?”

She quickly shook her head. “You’re so much like me. Granted you don’t understand magic and I can hardly grasp the computers of your world, but we’re still so similar don’t you think?”

“I’ve noticed that Twi.”

“Then you must understand why this is so hard for me to say!”

“Twi, you can go off on a huge explanation about something on the fly but you can’t say three little words?”

Her flushed face was twitching a little, telling me I hit a nerve. “Alex, I really like you.” She shook her head a little. “No I think it’s more like a crush.” The walls were finally coming down, a refreshing thing to see from her right now. She practically skipped to me and brushed up against my side. “I need to spend more time with you. I just wish I was as brave as Rainbow, saying that all my friends could go without me but I miss the library. I miss Owlowiscious. I even miss that charred smell of Princess Celestia’s letters once I receive them. I would want to abduct you if I could.”

As much as thinking about telling Scootaloo the ‘epic’ story of my abduction by Rainbow would be awesome, a version about Twilight felt like it would be like a bad romance story. “I could write a sappy story built around you abducting me and I swear that every filly would read it sooner or later.”

Twilight looked pleadingly at me. “I’m trying to be serious here Alex. I’d want to stay but there’s just so much I have to do. On the other hoof, I don’t think Princess Celestia would like it if I brought an unknown species into Equestria. Especially after I factor in the volatile way you humans live.” I opened my mouth to object but Twilight cut me off. “I know you, personally, aren’t dangerous, in fact I think you would just react by going ‘wow, so this is Ponyville. Are you sure it’s okay that I live here Twi?’ I don’t know for sure if aggression is in human biology. I mean there’s nothing conclusive in anything I’ve read so I still don’t know for sure.”

“Can’t you just take a leap of faith Twilight?”

“I know you don’t want to hear me say this but, I’m afraid to.”

“Not even for your own happiness?”

She simply replied by staring at the floor and shaking her head.

I sighed. “Thank you for sharing with me Twilight.” I considered the matter closed now, I knew the two sides of the triangle I couldn’t fathom without help.

She finally decided to look up at me once more. “If you had to, could you choose?”

I turned away, refusing to meet her gaze. “The better question is how could I live with the choice?” The separation is inevitable, I silently added. I could tell, they’d all leave and I’d be sad for a while. They were all so close now, it would be like losing family all over again. Well, no it would be stranger than that but that was the best way to put it.

*****

I knew why they both wanted to be with me now, but I was genuinely afraid to know what I wanted. If I was with Twilight then when they left I would be separated from her thanks to her uncertainty. If I sided with Dash, then I’d have to live with never seeing her again once the others inevitably dragged her home. Both seemed painful in that case. Would the time together be worth it?

*****

As the rest of the month wore on my thoughts began to affect my actions and I knew nearly, if not, everyone had taken notice. I think that once Rick saw how much I was dwelling on it, he began to move everything of his out of the house. Nobody tried to cheer me up, even Pinkie knew I wasn’t sad; I was lost in thought. Nobody even mentioned anything when Rainbow went off to my brother’s old room and took the top bunk while Twilight went to join Fluttershy and Applejack. I did appreciate the gesture, giving me time to decide something without waking to see either of them every morning, which would definitely skew my opinion.

While my guests enjoyed sunny days outside, I just stayed inside and thought a lot about things. Applejack started her little garden after I went out and got her the seeds. According to dinner table gossip, Fluttershy was also teaching the animals not to go after the garden.

Twilight had gone down to one message to the princess a day, a relief to me when I was working. Unfortunately, Twilight started to notice that…

“You need to get more sleep Alex,” she told me one day late in May.

While a very true statement, the massive bags under my eyes proving it, my dreams were chaotic at best. Each was clear enough to tell me that whatever option I could make regarding my relationship with anypony, even ‘just friends’, was going to cut deep into my heart. There were stranger ones though, complex dreams of Rainbow and Twilight.

~~~~~

A solid path, like a well-travelled trail through the woods, haunted my slumber. If I looked behind me, the trail stretched out to the horizon.

I’ve walked the path several times. Each time, regardless of which way I went, I reach a three-way fork with a sign at the divide. Every time I’ve gone to either the left or the right paths because of what they’ve said. The road to my left was labeled Everfree Forest while the right was Canterlot Gardens. The center road, marked as Normalcy, never felt right to me.

Whenever I went left, I would eventually arrive at the decrepit castle where everyone fought Nightmare Moon. While I was capable of wandering off in any direction I chose, a brilliant light in a tower always caught my eye. Once the light became noticeable, the castle seemed to reorient itself to make me travel to the light, regardless of where I actually wanted to go.

When I’d reach the source of the light I’d see Twilight confronting Nightmare Moon, losing badly every time. Everypony else, necklaces and all, were flung in every which direction but Twilight was still managing to hold her ground. If I tried to help Twi, Nightmare Moon would throw me around like a ragdoll and laugh manically. Every time, when I woke from the ‘dream’ covered in bruises and exhausted. One time I also swore I could taste blood but when I went into the bathroom to check there was no wound that would’ve caused it.

*****

The path to the right, leading to the Canterlot Gardens, always ended at the infamous hedge maze. Once I tried to step into the maze I always saw the same thing happen. My orientation always changed as I heard a familiar cackle. It never took long for the next thing to echo around me.

“Even you have to play by the rules. In your case though, you’ll have to be down on four hooves. That means no hands, human.”

“What’s to make me go through the maze besides your demented magic Discord?”

The draconequus would always appear when he heard me say his name and we’d exchange irritated glares. “Because there’s nothing behind you,” he’d always tell me. Once he noticed I wouldn’t be intimidated by his powers, he would give me a very cruel grin and vanish with a snap of his fingers.

There were times when I looked back, seeing an empty expanse of nothing behind me. I even tested it once, finding myself falling until I’d wake up in a cold sweat in the light of the sun. After that I concluded that I couldn’t escape there was only the twisting hedge maze before me. I’ve only reached the center once, finding a snoozing cyan pegasus on a cloud. That one time I tried to reach her and Discord appeared only to send me to the start of the maze, forcing me to do it all over again. I don’t recall how far I got the second time. When I got tired, I fell asleep and woke up in my room, my body back to normal.

~~~~~

After one troubling moment, waking from a time when I refused to choose, I woke and shambled to the mirror. “I gotta get it together,” I muttered to my reflection. “I choose Dashie and I’ll find myself on the wrong end of our inevitable forced separation. Side with Twilight and I'll have to come to terms with the love that can never come back. Still, I can’t just say ‘I’m sorry girls but it will never, ever work out.’ It has to resolve but I can’t decide.”

I turned to stare out to the moon through the window. “Princess Luna, I normally don’t openly ask for advice from anything I can’t see but I’m in deep. I can’t decide between three things, each will rip the hearts of three individuals out and tear them to pieces. I could use a helping hoof, is there anything you can do to help me?”

20 - Words of Farewell

May 31, 2012

“Are you sure you can’t go Alex,” Twilight asked me as the eight of us enjoyed our last dinner together. It was thankfully warm enough to eat on the patio tonight.

“It’s not a matter of not able Twi,” I replied. “You have your fears and I have mine.”

“For once, I’m willing to admit I’m scared,” admitted Rainbow. “I mean who’ll fill your shoes Al?”

“What about Soarin,” Twilight suggested.

“Al’s twice the stallion that pie crazed pegasus is.”

“I’m sure you’ll find somepony Dashie,” I told her calmly.

“Nopony’ll call me that with the same feeling. I mean, you make it sound perfect Al.”

“Um Alex,” chirped Twilight, “are we still on for tonight’s stargazing?”

“Wait, you let me have a week of joy riding with Al so you could have a night under the stars?”

I bit my lip. “Nobody told you Dashie?”

“Everypony’s been ignoring me whenever you come up in conversation!”

“To be perfectly honest ah didn’t wanna get involved in this,” admitted Applejack.

“I don’t want to choose between my friends,” added Pinkie. “Alley, Dashie, Twilight, we all agreed not to take sides.”

*****

June 1, 2012

When I woke up I felt empty, I knew what was happening today and it just made getting out of bed a mixture of painful and necessary. Today I was going to say goodbye to each of my guests.

If you have something to say to anyone now’s the time to say it, harped a voice in my mind.

So I just single them out and apologize about not saying anything sooner, I mentally retorted.

Well, when you put it that way…

I can’t ask either to give all of it up, to ignore their friends and family for me. It just isn’t fair.

The mental debate continued to go back and forth as I took my shower, each side changing its point of view from time to time, creating the argument’s refusal to die.

*****

I eventually managed to drag myself down for breakfast and nearly everyone looked similar to me. Rainbow and Twilight looked the worst, as if they spent all night crying. There really was no life in the room, especially from Pinkie Pie. I guess it’s hard for her to wrap her head around never being able to be there for a close friend ever again.

Next to my place at the table was a small stack of journals, seven in total. I still remembered getting them with Twilight. She met Lauren and they seemed to hit it off plenty. I don’t know how I’ll explain to her that Twilight and her friends aren’t here anymore, that they had to go home.

“We all agreed to let you have them,” Twilight explained as she looked towards me and accidentally jabbed her cheek with a spoonful of cereal, causing me to give a very feeble smile. You know the kind that could just come and go without a reason.

I took a deep breath and tried to imagine what I wanted to say to all of them. I practiced so many times but saying it to them was harder still. “I know we’re all thinking it,” I said slowly, each word tearing its way through my heart. “We all know what’s going to happen in a few hours. None of us really feel like we have the energy to say goodbye and I for one don’t really want to. We all know we should but I just don’t want to say it.” I paused in an attempt to recompose myself.

Not time to cry yet. You can cry after they’re gone.

“I didn’t know what to do for all of you. I mean like something to remember all the time we shared. In the end, I had nothing I could say to convey what I thought. Instead, and I know it’s a really lousy thing, but I wanted you all to have the contents of the folder on the small table near the door. It’s that group picture of all of us. There’s a copy for each of you and I hope you treasure them. Thank you for all the time we spent together, all the laughs, all the games, even the arguments, I loved all of it. Thank you for these journals too but none of you mind that I’ll end up reading them?”

“Heavens no darling,” answered Rarity. “How could you assume we would be offended with you perusing them when we want you to have them?”

I smiled an empty, vacant smile. “I suppose so Rarity, I’m happy to know that’s why you’re giving them to me. Also, there’s a book there and I’d like it to be sent to Princess Celestia. I wanted her to read about my own lessons in friendship if you think she’d take them.”

“I’ll deliver them personally Alex,” added Twilight as she focused on the thick book filled with my messages to the solar diarch.

*****

Nobody spoke anymore as we finished our breakfast. In fact, nobody said much of anything while Twilight prepared the spell that would send all of them back to Equestria. I looked to each of them in turn, trying to convey what I couldn’t bring myself to say.

At least I didn’t feel alone in this silence. Words seemed to escape all of us. There were no good-bye hugs, silence and teary eyes were just about all any of us was capable of doing.

*****

As I closed the door, I sighed. They were all gone. I never said how I felt, how much I really would miss them. I didn’t want to brood on the thought for too long. Instead, I made a silent pact with my former guests: I’d push on, regardless of what life threw at me.

Right now though, I think it’s time to do some reading and editing…

21 - Fourth Wall: The Horizon

“Whoa,” Pinkie said abruptly, “so why are you adding this new arc again?”

“It’s simple Pinkie,” Ravenmane replied as he took a sip of tea, “because the old version of the story was all annoying and depressing. Fortunately it glazed over a lot of ‘emo time’ and I thought I’d also expand on a few things as opposed to just sweeping it all under the rug.”

She gave the author a skeptical look. “Then, why are you writing a chapter about me? I mean I see it right there in the outline and everything.”

“Of all the ponies involved, I can think of nopony else that’s a good balance for everything that happened.”

“So why not write some Applejack then? She’s more level headed than I am. I mean everypony says it. So why not write this thing from her perspective?”

“You’ll just keep finding ways to ask a ‘why’ question once I answer aren’t you Pinkie,” Ravenmane asked dryly.

“Of course she is,” interjected their visitor: Twilight Sparkle.

Ravenmane sighed. “Of all of the ponies in this story Applejack is the most down to earth and I need somepony that’s a little less like that. I was under the belief that she would go back to her chores but miss the good times. On the other hoof by writing your chapter Pinkie, I get to have something a little down, but not worthy of a sad tag.” He gave the party pony an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry if I’m coming off like I’m insulting you.”

“Nope,” Pinkie replied cheerfully, “I know you don’t really want to sound mean.” She gasped. “If things don’t work out um… I mean… would you mind if it doesn’t work out?”

“Pinkie,” interrupted Twilight, “for pony’s sake I’m right here! Do you have any idea how hard it’ll be to convince anypony it’s a good idea? I mean even I don’t think it’s a good idea and I have to really sell it!”

“Um, lemmie think about it a little Pinkie. I mean like I’m sure it would be awesome-”

“Like first time seeing a Sonic Rainboom awesome,” Pinkie chirped as she interrupted.

“Now that comparison I would’ve expected from Rainbow.”

“Well, I don’t have a different way to describe it. Oh! Maybe like biting into the MMMM way back then, but you never had any so you don’t know what that was like.”

“Pinkie, I know you’re doing your best to help and keeping me smiling, but reminding me of ‘the cake that got away’ isn’t helping at all.”

Her ears flopped. “I’m really sorry,” she quickly muffled her next words. “Sorry, I nearly told them your name Raven.”

“That’s okay Pinkie,” the author said with a smile, “I know you’d never jeopardize my identity intentionally. You’d let me do something like that.”

“Yep!”

“You’re both hopeless,” the lavender houseguest said bluntly.

“That’s not true Twilight,” the author said promptly. “If you’re around me, like more than every once in a while, then you realize how predictable I am. You’ve also been around Pinkie enough to be able to predict her at least a little right?”

“Well I,” she paused and let the whole thing sink in. “I suppose you’re right Ravenmane. Will you write the other thing you were talking about?”

“Yes, yes I will. I may just keep going with it if it’s liked enough. Twilight, are you ready to do some hardcore convincing?”

“Finish up and I’ll get to work on begging, pleading, and throwing the ‘saved Equestria twice’ at everypony that’s important enough for this to impact.”

22 - Summer in Ponyville

Pinkie Pie had been home for five minutes before she realized she was being watched. It was a familiar feeling to the party pony, but as she looked around there were no screens watching her or backwards words in the air. All she had was the feeling something was watching her every movement.

Uneasy at the lack of visible watchers the party pony begrudgingly headed to her room, ready to examine her mail and find out how many parties she had to make up for missing.

As the days carried on, the screens and text returned all over Ponyville. Unfortunately, the party pony never saw the familiar golden-eyed screen or the, now familiar, writing style that told her Alex was keeping an eye on Ponyville. It was bothering her more than even she had imagined.

*****

“So do you have any idea why Alley isn’t watching us anymore,” she asked to Rarity. Ever since their departure, Pinkie had been in touch with her closest friends more than ever.

“It might be too hard for him to keep looking into our world dear,” Rarity explained. This was something she had been trying to write off as a ‘Pinky quirk’ that followed in her wake. “It isn’t quite anypony’s fault. He just might not be comfortable right now seeing Ponyville and remembering the time we all shared.”

“Do you think he ever will?”

“He will dear, and when he does you don’t want to show him that you’ve been like this do you?”

“No, but what if he never looks back to Equestria?”

“You have to understand that what I’m about to tell you isn’t just for your benefit Pinkie. He has unfinished business here in Equestria. Even if he doesn't know it, he has no choice but to look back here.”

“You really think so?”

“Twilight is staying in Canterlot for some reason other than delivering that journal of Alex’s. If you want my opinion, she doesn’t want to worry anypony with whatever it is that she’s doing. You mark my words Pinkie, if nothing else she still wants a word in edgewise.”

“What about Dashie?”

“Oh, I saw Fluttershy bringing some food up to her house earlier today Pinkie.”

“But-”

“I know what you mean, and I’ve sent thousands of letters to the Wonderbolts. I was hoping that they were willing to try and lift her spirits.”

“Um… they might still be reading the ones I sent.”

“What do you mean dear?”

“Well I um,” Pinkie wracked her brain for the best way to phrase her nerve-racking tale. “Okay, please don’t be too mad with me but back at the royal wedding I really hit it off with Rapidfire and well, we’ve been writing back and forth. I just hope nopony’s mad that I’ve been begging them to come to Ponyville to cheer Dashie up ever since Ditzy took her place on the weather team. Rapidfire sent me a letter yesterday though; they tried her house but were stood up.”

“Oh my, this is serious.”

“To the balloon,” screamed the party pony as she jabbed a hoof towards the library.

*****

Barely fifteen minutes had passed between the words leaving the party pony’s mouth and the two of them preparing the balloon when Spike had rushed outside to see what the commotion was all about.

“So tell me again why you need it Pinkie,” he said nervously.

“We need to talk to Rainbow Dash,” answered Rarity. “She’s avoiding everypony and as her friends we need to support her.”

“Well alright, I just hope you have better luck than everypony else. I mean, Fluttershy keeps bringing food up there but I overheard her tell Applejack that she's never been able to talk to Rainbow Dash. The food disappears between trips, but nopony ever sees her.”

23 - Summer in Canterlot

Twilight’s Private Library, Canterlot

The lavender unicorn groaned at the book in front of her. “There’s nothing in here either!” There was an alarmingly large pile of books on either side of her. “I swear there has to be something in here I can use.”

She had been ranting about the same thing since she returned to Equestria. She knew there was an answer somewhere. It would drive her up the walls until she had an answer to her problem. If Princess Celestia found a way then so can I, she thought while ignoring the fact that she knew she wasn’t the teacher she held in such high regard.

“Let’s see,” she mumbled as she examined a slew of freshly summoned books. “This one seems promising.” The book in question was a worn, jewel-encrusted tome titled Here and There: Advanced Incantations for the Needy. “Let’s see, gateway, gateway, come here gateway…”

“I do not understand Twilight Sparkle,” called a voice from the other side of the room. Even more books and several equation-laden chalkboards obscured the source of this other voice. “Why are you even pursuing this course of action?” As soon as the question finished there was the sound clack of a bead colliding with a second one.

Twilight groaned in frustration. “Because I need to know what he felt. I have to ask him to be perfectly honest with me.” The sound of another bead clacking caused her to jump to her hooves. “Princess Luna, I thought you were helping me! Is this nothing more than something for you to do all night to stave off boredom?”

“TWILIGHT SPARKLE,” boomed the Royal Canterlot Voice from the obscured lunar princess. “YOU ARE PUSHING YOUR LUCK AND I SHALL NOT ACCEPT YOUR INSOLENCE!”

Twilight retreated from her book piles at the sudden fury of her only assistance. However, her meek reaction was short lived as her face contorted into angry scowl. “I thought you had a heart! Can’t you understand why I have to do this?” Twilight’s horn ignited as she forced all obstructions out of the way, ensuring her fury was known to the lunar princess.

To Twilight’s surprise, Princess Luna was trying to use her abacus as a shield while she covered her head with her hooves. “I am sorry Twilight Sparkle,” she replied nervously, “please forgive my anger!”

The color drained from Twilight’s face. Seeing one of the rulers of Equestria, the only willing assistance she had in this undertaking, cowering like a foal caught sneaking a cookie before dinner by their parents. What sort of monster is this making me, she wondered. Was I ever really like this before? How could I ever possibly scare somepony as powerful as her? “Have you ever been in love Princess Luna?”

Luna chanced to glance at Twilight. Seeing the unicorn calmer was far more reassuring than anything else. “Several times and I do share your sympathies but this endeavor of yours is very, very illegal. If we are caught, you will be lucky to serve prison time and I have no doubt that my sister shall return me to the moon.”

“I. Don’t. Care.” Twilight accented each word with a jab of her hoof towards the princess. “I have to do this. Nopony will stop me,” she gulped, knowing exactly what she was about to say sounded absolutely crazy. “Not even Princess Celestia can scare me away from this.”

Princess Luna sighed and returned to a thick log she had set aside so she could do some calculations. “I will examine more materials after I finish correcting my sister’s flimsy economic standards.” Despite her assistance to Twilight she still had royal duties to perform.

“Even in one thousand years ‘Tia still cannot do proper math,” the lunar princess added tersely. She needs a tutor before she ever handles the finances of Equestria again, she added silently. Even Luna knew she could only mouth off behind her sister’s back for so long.

*****

“Twilight, I think I found it,” exclaimed the lunar diarch over breakfast a week later. A stunned silence was all that greeted this revelation. “It isn’t just one spell, like you thought, but several; scrying, teleportation, the works, tis a work of art!”

“Oh, and what is such a work of art Luna,” asked her elder sister pleasantly.

“Um… nothing sister,” the lunar diarch quickly replied, “nothing at all.”

“She weaseled it out of me while I was on my way down Luna,” commented Twilight with a sigh.

“And now that you’re both here I would like to say that I am very disappointed that you both went behind my back in your attempt to contact another world.”

“But sister we-”

“Will no longer discuss this topic,” finished Celestia.

We're doing it anyway, thought Twilight.

24 - Summer in Ponyville - Part 2

“Hey Rainbow Dash,” called somepony from the other side of her front door, “come fly with me. I wanna see what you’ve got; see if you’re Wonderbolts material.” Spitfire had been on her own for a few days now, always trying the same thing. “Look, if you’re not coming outta there then maybe there isn’t a place for you on my team.”

She’s just trying to get you out, the daredevil reminded herself. I’m such a wreck, I can’t let anypony see me right now.

Rainbow Dash looked over to her wall where a calendar rested comfortably, every day since her return home had been crossed off. “Two months,” she grumbled to herself as she looked over to a wall mirror. “I look terrible,” she added with a chuckle. Everything from her red eyes to her ruffled feathers and even her horribly unkempt coat told her everything that transpired during this time.

~~~~~

“Tank, I’m home,” she called through her house when she first arrived back. The tortoise had given her a warm, albeit slow, smile once he saw it was really her. “Sorry I’ve been gone so long big guy, but you’re never gonna believe what happened to me.” She regaled her pet with the tales of her trip to Earth and Tank was a very good listener. It was only a matter of time however, before she would hit the sour note of her stories: leaving behind someone she held dear.

~~~~~

“Dashie,” called a new voice, “he’d want you to be happy.”

Dash let the sentence rumble around in her self-imposed exile. She nervously poked her head out a window and looked down towards her front door. “Pinkie Pie,” she yelled, “I know that. I just need to clean up around here!”

Much like Spitfire, Pinkie had been trying to pry her friend out of her house for weeks. Under normal circumstances, this would be child’s play for Pinkie, but the fact that she was messing with a cloud house made her usual techniques impossible. “Well, you need to do more than that,” called the party pony from the hot air balloon. “Twilight’s coming back home today and her letter says she needs you to do a few things when she gets here.”

Rainbow Dash mentally growled at the sound of her absent rival’s name, but knew Twilight wouldn’t ask unless she really needed it. “Lemmie get cleaned up and I’ll come down.”

*****

“Easy as that,” Spitfire asked the party pony after Rainbow vanished from her perch above them.

“Dashie won’t leave a friend hanging. Also… um… thanks for trying all this time.”

“I won’t lie to you, Rainbow Dash has the skills to be a Wonderbolt, but if she acts like this a lot she’s got no place with us.”

“It’s really complicated, but the short version is she had to say good bye to somepony she really liked when she came back to Ponyville. We all haven’t seen him since we got home and it’s hit her and Twilight hard.”

“So she’s just been an emotional wreck right?”

“When I sent my letters to Rapidfire, I thought that was one of the best ways to get her out of her house.”

“You mean me and my team right?”

“Yup, if he clocks in as most important to her, then you guys are definitely just below him.”

“So what was he like?”

“I’ll tell you on the way down ‘kay?”

“Deal,” the duo left Rainbow Dash to look presentable while Pinkie Pie told Spitfire everything she was willing to say regarding Alex. She made sure to hold off on that he wasn’t a pony to spare the Wonderbolt captain a few extra questions.

“Sounds like she gave up quite the catch,” Spitfire said as she touched down on the ground.

“I guess so, but I mean I wasn’t really attracted to him like she was. He was a good friend, kinda like family sometimes too.”

“I know a little about guys being like family Pinkie Pie. Soarin’s like family to me. Like some obnoxious little brother, but family anyways.”

*****

Rainbow’s going to love my plan, thought Twilight as she did a few last minute calculations on the train ride home. As Ponyville started to come into view, Twilight mentally prepared to bark orders at Rainbow Dash. This plan was going to be perfect. She could even feel the song building in her throat. The worst part was, she wanted to sing it since she woke up…

25 - I'm a Long Way From Equestria..?

It’s been a while since I wrote anything that wasn’t a program or information on an order form online. I’m pleased to say that I have space on my hard drive again. Regrettably, I also have nothing pony related on it. I cleared everything off, moving it to a spare drive and leaving said drive alone.

You know what; I finally got it. I mean to say that I’ve read it quite a few times, but I learned it firsthand now. How does someone’s life go back to normal after something wonderful goes away, never to return? I wouldn’t be the first to tell you that it just doesn’t go back to normal…ever. When something really changes you, the last thing you want is for it to end. When my seven guests left, it was sad. Good friends were leaving; they really helped change my life. When they left, all I could do was try to piece my life together without them anymore.

After Sam moved in with my brother, I smiled for the first time in what felt like a very long time. I thought they’d be a good couple, but after all that happened, I didn’t even think about it before I turned my brother’s old bedroom into a workshop, and started making my own things in there now. It’s interesting, and a very curious way to kill time. Sam came by a few times to check up on me after Rick went off on his second tour. After she found out I was tinkering in some simple electronics to whittle away time between jobs she stopped coming by the house.

Days turned to weeks, weeks into months. Somewhere along the lines, I managed to sorta duplicate Pinkie’s strange neon foaming/frothing/steaming drink. Don’t ask me how; mine was green, it wasn’t right. I tried a few more times as the weeks rolled on. Perhaps I was hallucinating when I started to hear her whispering in my ear, trying to give me tips. This caused me to stop trying; hearing things was a bad sign, let alone other things I could feel.

Every morning I looked to the empty place next to me, never would I feel Fluttershy’s mane tickling my nose in the morning. I would never wake up with the bruises that told me Pinkie Pie was probably trotting in her sleep. No Rainbow nudging me to wake up so she could tell me to get in the shower before Spike drains all the hot water. Applejack not prodding me awake at the crack of dawn, so I could get an early start. Not even Twilight snuggling into me, making me blush bright and early. Really doesn’t feel the same. It feels wrong.

~~~~~

That last night, I remember it like it was out of a bad soap opera. Twilight and I were relaxing out on the lawn, staring up at the stars. Everyone else had already gone to bed, leaving the two of us alone. Ok, we both caught Rarity’s eyes peering out of a second story window more than once. For a while, we just stargazed and enjoyed the company.

Twilight was first to break the silent night. “Is there anything you’d like to say Alex?”

I sighed. “If I begged for you to stay would you?”

“I told you before, I can’t do that, but why don’t you really want to go?”

If I met you earlier, no that sounded too corny in my head. “If we had more time I would go in a heartbeat. If it was just you and me going, I’d want to follow.” I held her hoof tightly. “Please try and understand that. I just don’t want everything to get, you know, awkward.” To be honest, I would’ve also gone in a heartbeat if it was just me and Rainbow.

“Just deny everything happened? Does that sound any better?”

“I’d never deny that anypony was here, regardless of circumstances. Everypony has really made an impact on my life.”

She turned and just looked at me, her rich purple eyes staring into my grey ones. “What about me? Can you tell me what I did to your life?”

“You gave me hope,” I had to look away from her. It wasn’t easy to just stare into her eyes and do something like pour my soul out. “I wish I was half as brave as you or Rainbow. I mean she just flat out said how she felt, but I could see it in your eyes Twilight. I always saw it in your eyes. Just… hearing it… well, hearing it made me feel better.”

She turned my head so I was looking at her again. “So you’ll just give up on me and Rainbow then?”

I gave her a wispy smile. “I don’t want to, but what would either of you say to everypony? I’m sure your parents would be cross, so forget the whole ‘introduce my parents to my boyfriend’ right?”

She giggled. “I could see that a little. ‘Mom, dad, this is my boyfriend Alex. I met him on a different world and we fell in love.’ Yes,” she added sarcastically, “I think they’d take that well.”

“If I could pick up everything and leave I would. If nothing else, I want you to know that I would if I could.” We just spent most of the night staring at each other. Now that I’ve reflected a bit on it, I suppose we were both waiting for the other to make the first move, the same goes for all those drives with Rainbow.

~~~~~

Dear Princess Celestia,

I think I may have made a mistake. I thought it would have been greedy of me to travel with your subjects to Equestria. I don’t think it’s much to ask for now, but I know a lot of time has gone by since then and it isn’t easy to write to you now. If there’s any mercy in your heart please give me another chance. I want to set things right with everypony...

No that doesn’t feel right…

I guess I’m rusty. I’ve gone so long without anything pony related in my system so I don’t know for sure anymore. I know I went from apologetic to pleading, and I doubt she’d listen to me acting like a kid at all.

After everyone left, I went to work harder than ever. I stopped reading fiction, re-watching episodes, even listening to music or looking at anybody’s fanart. It was weird, with nobody home it was as if the whole series lost its place in my life.

*****

Neck deep into August, my birthday came around and it seemed doomed to be abysmal. A party just didn’t feel right; I only wanted company that wouldn’t come today, or any day for that matter. I had given my clients explicit instructions not to bother me today. To them I was in one of my funks, something they all tolerated for the excellent work I’d do for them.

Something odd did happen that day though. I was just about ready to mull things over in the study all day and enjoy a slice of cake when the buzzer went off; someone was at the gate. The person in question was the mailman. I always thought it was rare for me to get mail when I didn’t order something.

“Hello there Alex,” he said to me after I came down to the gate. “You look like the dead kid.”

I simply shrugged. “What brings you to my home Zack, didn’t order something I’m unaware of did I?”

“Nope, was going to pass by your house after doing my route but when I came back from doing the last road in the subdivision I found this stuck to my windshield,” he held up a large envelope. “All it’s got is your name so I was hoping you could answer a few questions for me.”

“Don’t know what to tell you. Everyone knows to leave me alone when I’m in one of my moods.”

“Yeah, I know but you didn’t do something like this to stir yourself out of your funk?”

I held out my hand and he handed me the envelope. “I’m not up for a joke right now Zack.” Without Pinkie around it just loses the punch line, I thought. “Kinda odd though, no stamp or anything right?”

“Yeah,” he looked a little more puzzled than me, “just your name. Don’t know what to tell you Al.”

“Well I’ll just have to figure it out then. Have a good day Zack,” he gave me a wave before returning to his truck. I was curious, but I was also a little spiteful. What kind of stalker gives someone something like this anyways? Also, how would I, a virtual shut-in, even have a stalker?

When I got back inside my house, I made my way up to the study with a slice of cake this time. I went back downstairs to bring the letter and a drink up with me. I opened it calmly, but inside it was a second envelope, smaller than the last. This one was stranger, an address I didn’t know written on it.

Alex
Everfree Lane
Ponyville, Equestria

I turned it over and saw something familiar, the cartoony wax seal of Princess Celestia. I grew worried about what the Princess sent me. It already troubled me that I didn’t get it via fax this time. There was something about the address that I couldn’t place. Something that was more confusing than the possible contents of the envelope. Why was it an address allegedly in Ponyville? “Everfree Lane,” I mumbled. I wasn’t saying it to anyone in particular but more like affirming those two words were actually there.

I sat down and looked outside. “There’s no forest out there, where’d the subdivision go?” It clicked as a chill ran down my spine and I tore open the letter. After reading it a few times, I left it on the desk, raced downstairs, and opened the door. What was once an overcast day had turned into a blindingly sunny day.

Don’t forget to send me a friendship report from time to time.

Down the hill was a group of familiar ponies, and even a few I didn’t quite recognize, under a large banner saying “Welcome to Ponyville Alex.” There wasn’t much in me aside from shock and joy right then. Quickly those conflicting feelings were joined however by pain as something very pink plowed into me from behind. I knew those hooves; I still remember the feeling of bruises from them.

I screamed at the top of my lungs, “Pinkie if you threw out my back I’ll make sure you get sent to the moon!”

“Silly Alley,” she replied, “how can I throw you a big party if you go to the hospital?”

Both Twilight and Rainbow came up to see me, the latter trying to get Pinkie off my back. “You’re home now Alex,” said the former.

“Yeah,” added Rainbow, “this party’s gonna be awesome!”

*****

From Alex:

Now, I must ask you to please forward all questions to my new address on Everfree Lane and please, make things easy on our mailmare she has enough on her plate already. It’ll take time for me to read letters and a lot of work just to reply. I’ll still be around writing, commenting, and reading when I can but it’s not easy writing from my new home. Not while I have good friends just down the road.

All inquiries about my home on the hill, your computers (if I have them I am truly sorry), and what in the hay just happened should be forwarded to Canterlot Castle, the desk of Princess Celestia to be exact. If you enjoyed the journey then I’ll be pleased and I hope that this trip straightened some things out for everypony. I’ll be sure to fill you in on the after party later tonight.

P.S. I wish you the best of luck regarding sending mail here. Be they via dragon flame, magic, or some unknown form. I suggest trying e-mail and phone first though.

26 - After the Party

“Do you think they like the link to the internet Alex?” Twilight looked over to me from her seat. We were just sitting at the computer, not everypony managed to get home after the party.

“I hope so; it takes a lot of haphazard magic to keep the connection up.”

“Not to mention all of the illegal spells?”

“Yeah… we shouldn’t be mentioning those. Anyways, how else could I tell them what happened to me?”

“Oh yeah, that’s right. The house and everything came over with you so I think there’s just the wall and a big empty place where the hill was.”

“Yeah,” I gave her a skeptical look, “how exactly did you manage that?”

“Well, after we left Princess Luna and I got to work. At first, we were being secretive about it, but about a month ago, Princess Celestia figured out what we were doing. She said what we were doing was very illegal and she didn’t want to hear any more about it. She wouldn't mind after we were ready.”

I chuckled. “Does plausible deniability sound good?”

“Yes,” she looked around, “but we really shouldn’t be-”

“Yeah,” I nodded nervously, “we really shouldn’t.”

“It just umm, works. Yes it just works!”

I nodded more enthusiastically. “No need to dig any deeper.” She told me last night, a very large and very illegal teleportation circle spell. Just don’t tell Princess Celestia, she might just take away my internet and Rainbow’s Live account.

“Well, you said you were going to tell everypony about the party last night.”

“That I did, but it’s a shame it isn’t last night anymore.”

“Skip your technicality or I’ll have to remind you how much hard cider you went through.”

“Ugh, fine. One drinking contest and a unicorn thinks she can hold it over my head all the time.”

“Well…”

“Keep your voice down, Rainbow’s still not up yet.” Okay, let’s rewind a little. Last night was a bit of everything. Music, a few games, dancing, junk food, and a drinking contest between Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and me. If you thought Applejack won then you were right. Rainbow passed out on the floor, but we tried to get her up and out of everypony’s walkway. Currently, she’s curled up on the coffee table.

Among those who didn’t manage to find their way home were Twilight, Rainbow, and Pinkie. When I got up off the couch there was Twilight curled up on a chair. When I went to get some coffee going, I found Pinkie halfway to the door. “At least Pinkie made a serious effort to get home,” I glanced over to Berry Punch curled up with a lampshade on her head, cliché I know but I’m serious. Honestly, some ponies…

“Well, after you went under, Berry had one of Pinkie’s mixed drinks.” We exchanged worried looks. “She is breathing right?”

“Last time I checked, she was also drooling Twilight.” I sighed, “I also cleaned up Pinkie as best I could.”

Twilight recoiled. “At least she’s cleaner right?”

I nodded. “Okay everypony, I have news to tell you. Firstly, if this party was any indication Pinkie’s parties are the best! Secondly, Rainbow over there really knows how to please a crowd. She got us all to come outside, just as the sun started to set, so she could give me a gift; it starts with Sonic and ends in Rainboom.”

“And what did you think of your very first Sonic Rainboom?”

“I need a phrase better than ‘my mind is blown’ Twilight. That thing’s just a total sensory overload with a touch of ‘yeah, that just happened.’ What was it like seeing that in Cloudsdale?”

“Trust me Alex; that is the best way to put it. From Fluttershy’s squealing to jaw drops en masse, I would have to say ‘total sensory overload’ just about covers it. Then this time, a Sonic Rainboom cast against the sunset, it was just stunning.”

“Okay,” I double-checked on Rainbow, “Applejack and Big Mac snuck a cask of cider down into the cellar while I kept Pinkie and Rainbow busy. To tell the truth, I’d like to enjoy it before it starts to go. I do feel bad since it was rushed for me, but Applejack wouldn’t hear me object and well it isn’t easy getting Big Mac to say much of anything. According to AJ, it’s even harder once his mind’s made up.”

“Ahem,” Twilight cleared her throat, “don’t forget that Spike and I put something together for you.”

“Yes, you and Spike put together a book for me. The aptly named Equestria: A Brony’s Guide.” I gave her a peck on the cheek, “I promise to read it after I get this place cleaned up and make sure everypony’s at least capable of getting home.”

Berry began to stir. “Great party Alex,” she winced as the hangover kicked in fully.

“There’s coffee in the kitchen if you need it Berry. Nice to meet you, but I’d like the lampshade back.” She set the lampshade on the coffee table and headed out passed the fluffy tail of Pinkie. We heard her curse at the bright sun before the door closed.

“So Alex,” said Twilight after we once more became the only ones conscious in the house. “Why is it that bronies think stuff happens when we get drunk?”

“They want a cheap joke Twi. It makes a rather silly plot device and I do not tolerate such things… often.”

She gave me a skeptical look. “I already told my parents about you and they’d love to meet you. We’ll be taking the train to Canterlot on Friday so you can meet them.”

I paused as I tried to put that together. “They weren’t put off by the fact I’m not a pony?”

“No," If she was evasive I didn't notice it. “They were just a little annoyed that I wasn’t interested in a unicorn. They didn’t mind a little cross species relation after they got past that.”

“Or they’re going to save their questions and yelling for when we go to meet them.”

Twilight gave me a weak smile. It wasn’t very encouraging, but she always does her best. “Well, I need to go to Quills and Sofas and then head back to the library to send a letter to Princess Celestia.”

Rainbow groaned from the coffee table.

“Twilight, just so you know I haven’t made my choice yet.” Twilight gave me a quick peck and teleported away. I’m really starting to hate that teleportation spell.

As Rainbow finally managed to groan and stagger to her hooves, I forced a smile on my face. “Good morning Rainbow.”

She just gave me a nasty look and grumbled. “Coffee,” she managed to ask.

“Kitchen,” I replied flatly. “You might want to get up and going Rainbow, it’s nearly noon.”

“And what are you gonna do about it?”

“Simple,” I said condescendingly, “I’m going to try and get Pinkie up so she can get to work today.”

Rainbow scoffed. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

“Also, Twilight’s taking me to Canterlot to see her parents on Friday.”

“WHAT?!” Rainbow zoomed out of the kitchen and grabbed me by the collar of my shirt. “When did she plan that?”

“Well,” I started to fidget, “I think she started planning that when we had a little joke about it that last Sunday night.”

“While you were,” her ears drooped, “alone under the stars.”

“So I have a question for you then Rainbow. Twilight and I went into what her parents might have done. I think I’d like to hear your point of view. What would your parents have to say about knowing their girl’s found herself a human boyfriend?”

Rainbow let go of my shirt and started to think hard about it. “They’d freak out, like crazy freak out. A lot of ‘Why isn’t he a pegasus?’ and ‘Won’t he keep you grounded?’ comments. Did she talk to her parents while she was in Canterlot?”

“She said they were rather fine after getting over me not being a unicorn. Personally, I think they’ll go nuts when I’m actually there.” I tried to look supportive of Rainbow. “Besides, I’d need quite a bit of magic to get around if I was with you. We’d be relying on Twilight or some other unicorn. You’d want me to be there to see you become a Wonderbolt and see all of your shows right?”

“Yeah, I’d seriously want that.” Rainbow sniffled.

“Pegasi need to fly,” I gave her a depressed look, “I would ground you pretty badly Rainbow.” I really didn’t want to trample her feelings with logic. “Dashie, I want you to know I haven’t made a full commitment towards Twilight. We’ll work this out okay?”

Rainbow nodded and gave me a hug. “I should get to work now; it shouldn’t be this bright today. We need some clouds in the sky or I’ll be in trouble for not doing my job.” She gave me one last look before darting away, a ‘this isn’t over’ look on her face.

For now, I’m going to send this off and try to get Pinkie up and going. I think I’ll dust off the drive and try Smile, Smile, Smile for starters…

To be continued…

1 - Fourth Wall: I Think I Hit My Head

Author's Note

Hi there, it’s me Pinkie Pie. The revisions are complete and the under construction chapter is gone now.

You can still access the original here: Original Ponies on Ponies

Now, Ravenmane and I will do a few things during the series. He called them “Fourth Wall In-betweeners” and they have very little to do with the story. This chapter will explain them better than I can in such a short message so watch for it!

Have a great day everybrony and I hope to see you all real soon here on Ponies on Ponies!

1 - Fourth Wall: I Think I Hit My Head

This chapter is with the author and has very little to do with the story as a whole. I have told you in advance so move along knowing you’ve had fair warning to move on to the next chapter. Once again, I’ve told you this is an author chapter.

“Okay, I’m still active.” The author popped a pair of Advil and took a deep breath. “Now, I would like to say that I think the title of the chapter says it best. I do think I actually hit my head on something cause now everything’s a little pastel colored. For the record, you won’t find such colors at my place so it’s a little strange to get up to. The second thing I’d like to say is that I have a lump on my head, hence the Advil. I seem to have lost,” he checked his watch, “about thirty minutes so there’s a good chunk of time I’m not quite clear about.”

“I can explain that,” came a voice from behind him.

The author turned and saw a pink pony with a baseball bat resting against the wall near her. “Might I inquire as to who you are?”

“You know me,” the pony replied pleasantly. “I’m Pinkie Pie.”

“Right,” his voice practically bled skepticism, “so I’ve really lost it then?”

The party pony gasped. “You lost something? Did I forget to bring something with you? I mean, I even brought some painkillers for your head from your medicine cabinet and I actually forgot something?”

“Okay, I’ll play along. If I haven’t lost my mind then I take it that I’m in Equestria right?”

“Exactly,” she replied with a vigorous nod. “You’re at Sugarcube Corner to be exact. Twilight was gonna explain it to you but she left to do something for Princess Celestia and left me in charge of you.”

“Well then Pinkie, I’d like to know two things now. First of all, why did you take me from Earth?”

“It’s simple really: to make renovations to your story. I mean duh, it needs work.”

I was planning on doing it anyways, the author silently grumbled. “Okay, I’d also like to know why you used a baseball bat instead of asking like any normal sentient creature.”

“Well, Twilight didn’t want you to know how to get to Equestria. I mean duh, if you knew how to get here then everyone could find out to get here. We’re gonna have to knock you out again when we send you back home too.”

“I kinda get it. Also I lied a little; there are a few other things I’d like to know.”

“Go right ahead.”

“How will I maintain power on my laptop? I mean, the whole story is on there and I’ll need to have it open as a reference for the new version.”

“Twilight’s got that covered,” the party pony pointed a hoof at a large device. “She said it was a generator that uses a magic-powered battery and converts the magic into electricity. She’ll have to come over every couple of days to recharge it.”

“Then, what about my internet connection?”

“Trans-dimensional router, you can log onto websites but don’t expect anything close to decent gameplay with it. We got it from somepony called the Doctor.”

“Can I have a party when I’m done?”

Pinkie gasped. “We can have a party later tonight if you want. I can only invite a few ponies. Twilight said we can’t let too many ponies know that we have an illegal here.”

“Wait, an illegal? Are there legal humans here?”

“Nope, but filing for citizenship is tricky stuff. Dashie told me that meanie Gilda had to formally apply last year and she still hasn’t gotten anything back. Before you ask, ‘cause I know you want to, she’s in Cloudsdale on a work visa right now. According to Twilight the best you could get as a non-native to our world is second-class citizenship and they don’t get many rights.”

“Well, what could I get?”

“A really bad job and, if you’re lucky, you might be able to get a house. I mean, the details aren’t really my thing and Twilight knows more about it than me.”

“She always seems to right?”

“Yep! This one time I was making cupcakes and I was using liquid rainbow and sugar to make frosting and then after working on it for about an hour Twilight told me it was impossible and that I should get a bat so we could get a human to do something he has to do.”

The author face palmed much to the party pony’s amusement. “Let’s get to work then.”

This has been a test of the Fourth Wall Side-Story. If you liked this story, please say so. If you didn’t, then please grumble to yourself. The story will begin at the next chapter.

7 - Fluttershy: Human Nature

“You can do this Fluttershy,” the demure mare told her flower-patterned book. She sat away from the bed and close to the closet, giving Rainbow plenty of space. She glanced over to her roommate who gave her an encouraging nod.

Hello, I’m sorry if I seem so formal in this but I haven’t had a diary in a long time. I haven’t had much to talk about so I stopped writing in one when I was a filly. Once I moved from Cloudsdale to Ponyville actually.

I want to talk a little about humans. I’m a little scared that they’re omnivorous. I take care of plenty of carnivores and omnivores back home, but it really scared me. Pinkie said that humans are the dominant species so I was a little afraid. Alex was quick to apologize about the meat we found in his refrigerator.

It did make me a little uneasy when he and Twilight went out without explaining that to us. I won’t deny that I was worried about Twilight for a little while, but can he live without meat for too long? I think he’ll need it sooner or later.

He also has so many things that have to be plugged into the wall in order to work, Pinkie was very smart about what we needed to use and how to handle things in the kitchen though. I think it has something to do with her ability to see humans and I’ll bring it up with Twilight in the morning.

The thing that scared me the most is what we saw on the news this morning. Um, Alex is really nice and I guess he’s not like the humans I saw on there. There was a lot of crime and I know he was being reassuring when he said that a lot of it is going on far away from us but it still made me scared.

There’s also so much grey and brown here, where do all the other creatures live with so many of these cities that humans have. I’ll have to ask Alex about that sort of thing in the morning too.

I’m not sure about asking him immediately though, Alex shared something about himself that seemed so bad. He doesn’t have much family left and it makes me feel bad to hear about it. His parents and older sister are all gone. I don’t have any brothers or sisters and both my parents are fine so I don’t know what that would’ve been like to lose that much of his family. Even with all of that, his brother is out in the place where their sister died. I don’t want to know how bad it was for him to talk about it but I’m happy he told us. He may have looked a little depressed, but I just know he feels better about it now.

13 - Fourth Wall: An Awkward Interlude

Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville
Ungodly late at night

“It’s so big,” exclaimed Pinkie.

“Have enough frosting,” Ravenmane replied.

“If we run out I know where to get more. What I wanna know is just how is it gonna fit?”

“How does inch by inch sound?”

“But it’s enormous!”

“I doubt you’ll choke, just don’t forget that you’re Pinkamena Diane Pie. You woke me up this morning by slipping that pillow out from under my head and taking its place. I mean I’m a light sleeper so that’s quite the feat.”

“That was for the bucket of ice cubes yesterday!”

“Focus Pinkie, that’s a big cupcake.”

She gave a wiry grin. “So that’s what they’re calling it over there huh?”

“Well Pinkie, when a mixer and an oven want to have a cake…”

“Sweet Celestia,” called Mr. Cake as he came into the bakery, “how did you two make a cupcake that big?”

“Well, it was Raven’s idea. It’s for Fluttershy’s birthday.”

“Yeah,” the author continued, “so we made a colossal cupcake um... cake. It’s just a shaped two-layer cake Mr. Cake.”

“Well, are you both sure you made enough frosting?”

“No sweat,” the author started.

“Twilight did the math for us,” finished the party pony.

“Well just be sure that you both get to sleep soon.”

“Just don’t make too much noise because the last thing we want to do is wake the twins, right?”

“Um, yes,” Mr. Cake replied nervously. “Right, just don’t wake the twins. And don’t forget to clean up.”

Not going to press the subject, the late night baking duo thought.

In retrospect, baking in the dead of night was a bad idea.

“We need to do this more often,” said the party pony with a delightful grin.

And so, Ponyville was doomed.
The End…