The Equestrian Robotics League

by TheOtakuX

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 1166

The CMC enter a robotics battle

In an attempt to gain their cutie marks, the CMC decide to build a super fighting robot, with a little help from Twilight. Then with Applejack's help, they learn a lesson.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-20 18:50:02 UTC

Chapter 1

It was a dark and stormy night. Scootaloo was sleeping soundly on the floor of the Cutie Mark Crusader's Clubhouse. Suddenly, she shot up like a bullet and shouted, "ROBOTS!" then fell back asleep.

It was a bright and sunny morning. Scootaloo was pacing back and forth, waiting for her friends to arrive so she could tell them her amazing plan. Before long, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle walked in, ready to come up with new ideas on how to get their cutie marks. Before they could even say a word, Scootaloo's eyes lit up, "We can win the Equestria Robotics League! And then Ranibow Dash will really notice me! And she'll take me out to dinner! And we'll totally hit it off! Then, we'll get married! I don't care if the law says I'm too young or too same sex! Sucks to the law!"

Apple Bloom looked at her with fear in her eyes, "Ya know, Scootaloo, your idol worship of Rainbow was kinda cute at first, but it's really starting to get creepy."

Sweetie Belle just looked confused. She rubbed her head with her hoof and spoke up, "Robots? What? Marriage?"

Calming down, Scootaloo decided to go into more detail. "Apple Bloom, I don't piss on your dreams of having a non-apple cutie mark, don't piss on mine! Anyway, we can build a robot and enter the ERL! We'll battle other robots, and we'll win the contest, getting the 500 bit prize AND our cutie marks! And we'll split the money, 200-200-100!"

"Wait," Apple Bloom interjected, "Who gets the 100?"

Scootaloo leaned in and whispered, "Sweetie Belle, of course. If we don't mention it again, she'll forget anyway. And she can't count to five, she won't know she's getting screwed!"

Apple Bloom looked over to Sweetie Belle, who was now studying her hoof, and nodded in agreement. "I can get the wood from the farm. Applejack's destroying the barn for the the weekly barn raising, so I can get the broken boards from the old one. You can go to the library and get a book on robotics! And Sweetie Belle... can color a pretty picture!" She gives Sweetie some paper and crayons, then she and Scootaloo go of to get what they need.

About an hour later, the girls came back with their tools. They start assembling their robot, but they soon run into a problem. Scootaloo vocalized their problem for the reader, "Well, our robot is all done, but we need some sort of magic crystal to make it work. Where will we find one of those?"

"I KNOW, I KNOW!" Sweetie Belle ejaculated.

"What is is, Belle?" Scootaloo asked, exasperated.

"Lets' ask Twilight!"

"Hey, that idea isn't completely stupid, Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom said, shocked. Sweetie Belle just beamed at the perceived compliment.

Arriving at the library, the CMC explained their situation in a long, boring way that I'm gonna just leave out because it's seriously boring and unnecessary.

"Well," Twilight explained, "I don't have a robotics control crystal, but I think I have something better!" She disappeared into her basement for a moment, and returned with what appeared to be a metal funnel, which she gave to Scootaloo. "This is a magical energy and information communicative device. Just hook this into your robot, then plug Sweetie Belle into it. She can power and control the robot."

"Awesome! Let's go hook this up!" Scootaloo shouted, and they ran off.

"Finally, they're gone. Time for some adult fun..." She gazed seductivly at a huge, thick book of pony history.

The next day. it was time for the big robot battle. Scootaloo and AB stood behind the fake control panel, with sweetie Bell hidden inside the robot. Their wooden robot, MegaMare, rolled into the center ring. Behind the other control panel stood a geeky looking stallion, with thick glasses and slicked-back hair. In entered his robot, Hayvangelion Unit 1. As soon as the starting bell rang, Hayva 1 ran up to MegaMare and kicked it in the side, the wood shattering. Next came several punches and more kicks, before the splintered boards piled up. Hayvangelion Unit 1 was declared the winner. As the Cutie Mark Crusaders pulled the pile of broken wood back to the clubhouse, they made a quick stop at the hospital to leave a bloodied and beaten Sweetie Belle on the doorstep to receive proper medical attention. Although they forgot to tell her parents or Rarity where she was, the hospital got in contact with them.

A week later, they were back at the CMC clubhouse trying to figure out what went wrong. Sweetie Belle is still rather banged up, covered in bandages.

Applebloom asked, “Are ya’ll still pissin’ blood?”

"Yeah, but not as much" Sweetie Belle responded.

"It's ok, I found something in the street that we could try!" Scootaloo held up a tattered, dirty flyer, and they all read it. Together, they all three shouted:

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS KNIFE FIGHTERS, YAY!"

Epilogue

Applejack happened to be walking by, and heard what they'd shouted. Running in, she immediately put a stop to it.

"GIRLS!" She shouted, her eyes blazing with anger, "You need to stop trying these stupid, dangerous ideas before Sweetie Belle gets killed!"

"What's so stupid about making knives fight each other?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"What? No, you fight another pony WITH a knife!" Scootaloo informed her.

"Oh. That does sound dangerous!" Sweetie Belle replied.

"Seriously, girls, why can't you try something normal? Open up a dang-blasted lemonade stand or something! Start a cart-wash! Become dog walkers! Normal things for fillies your age, not all this dangerous stuff that's putting us in the poor house with your medical bills!"

Scootaloo looked to the floor, hurt, "Y-you just don't understand, Applejack. I don't have a real sister, I don't have parents. I can't just settle for some run-of-the-mill talent. I have to be something special. I have to make other ponies notice me. I have to BE somepony, so that maybe, just maybe, somepony will love me."

Applejack's jaw dropped, shocked to hear such a heartfelt answer. Scootaloo was just looking for attention. Looking for the affection she'd been denied her whole life. Before Applejack could even respond, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both grabbed her in a tight hug.

"Now, don't be spoutin' nothin' silly like that!" Apple Bloom said, "WE'RE your family! We love you even if you're not a daredevil robot-battlin' knife fighter!"

"Yeah!" Sweetie Belle continued, "Even if you never find a talent, we'll always love you! We're like sisters!"

Scootaloo couldn't hold back the tears, returning their hugs, "Th-thanks, girls! I love you, too!"

With a soft smile, Applejack left the clubhouse. Maybe those fillies will be alright after all. And then...

"I know! Maybe we can get our cutie marks by sharing our love with other ponies!"

With a look of fear on her face, Applejack ran back in to explain why that was NOT a good idea.