My name is Screwball. I am a female Earth pony. Some ponies say I'm crazy, but crazy ponies can't write, can they? And that's what I'm doing. I'm recording my desperate attempts to save myself. Save myself from myself. And everyone else, too.
I'd just left the hospital. They wrote to me I could go! But on a probation period. They would ship me off to Ponyville, where my condition started. I'd been on vacation. I shudder as I write this, it was horrible! But I was glad to leave that awful, awful place. The chaos there... it was too much.
But here I was, back in Ponyville, the chaos almost as bad as before. I can hear chaos. But I can't hear anything else. It's like a high-pitched squeal- something I've learned to live with. But it's harsh! It's everlasting! It's even worse now.
Some days I wish I were back at the hospital.
I only had one thing on my side. One hope. It got louder when I stood near changelings.
I had been standing next to Flamedancer before it happened. The squeal was loud, too loud for a normal pony. They lynched him- a changeling. And then I knew.
I could stop them. I just had to walk around the square, listening. If only I could tell them! But I had lost my voice as well as hearing.
I think Twilight was her name. She started it. She was pointing at me! The Mayor followed Twilight's hoof. She then looked at me and slowly nodded. Twilight then jumped up onto a rock and yelled something? What was she saying? All I heard was loud buzzing. The buzz of...
A changeling.
What could I do! I couldn't tell them, I couldn't call to them! A low squeal. A mad mare! I assume that's what they think of me. But I can't help it! The doctors always said my case was hopeless!
But I had to have some hope!
I had to try!
Twilight- no, the changeling continued yelling. I continued staring. She then whirled to face me, and yelled something. Probably something like What are you looking at? I flinched as a pony replied with a giggle. Don't mind her. She's crazy. She's our local mad mare. What they always said. I turned away.
The town cleared, leaving me alone. The clock ticked twelve. Lunchtime. A bird flew by, silently. I stared after it. My lunchbag crinkled, the bird trying to reach my pumpkin seeds. Everything closed in on me and-
SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sighed and picked up my lunch. It was too much. I took out my sandwich and took a bite. The emptiness was overwhelming. It was only five of us left- me, Twilight (the changeling), the Mayor, the mad mare, and one other.
I took a bite of my apple.
The hunger. Is this what Twilight felt? Is that why they were here?
A fight for survival?
To live?
To feed?
To love?
All of a sudden I felt very bad for the changelings.
They were just trying to survive. To love. To feel. To be normal. To be themselves. They were more pony than ponies themselves. It was us, the regular ponies, who'd done this to them. But there was one problem. The biggest question was- Why'd I, Screwball, feel bad for my own worst enemy?
Especially when everybody's my enemy?
They came back a few minutes later. Discussing something, I don't know what. Probably concerning me, judging by their looks. I shivered. Why did I think it was about lynching me? I didn't like this. Twilight looked at the mayor. Mayor Mare walked up and yelled something. All the ponies except the Mad Mare turned to look at me. Twilight whispered something, and the mayor nodded. She yelled something. It has been decided, maybe? We will lynch Screwball? I flew down in a heap. Twilight stared at me and started talking again. I buried my head in my hooves.
All of a sudden, White Canvas, the background pony, was pushed up to the lynching platform. He started crying. I realized what was happening. It wasn't me they were lynching- it was him! I jumped up.
"No! No!" I tried to yell. They stared at me. I shook my head, frustrated.
"No! No!" I yelled again. "Not a changeling!" I knew even then they didn't understand. But I kept going.
"Don't lynch him! I know he's not a changeling! Twilight is! I can hear chaos!" Something clicked. I knew I'd said the right word. The click of the c felt amazing! The s fell gracefully onto my lips. And I explained.
There was a fierce gleam in Twilight's eye. So much chaos! She yelled something, and the ponies ran to get me. I jumped out of the way and started running. White looked at me sadly. He whispered something. And I heard it! He said, "You're going to need this." He slipped me a piece of paper, and I took off running, towards the hospital.
I ran and ran until I reached the hospital. Only then did I read the note.
You're always welcome at the hive.
It was written in bright red ink, and unsigned. Suddenly I knew what to do. What I was.
I was a hybrid. A changeling hybrid.
It wasn't chaos that I could hear.
It was love.
I'd run away from my home. My family. My friends. My...
My hive.
I decided I'd left the hospital, this time for good. I would go back to Ponyville. I would go back to my home. Just like I should.
And face my fears.
I left my home. All because of a Changeling Panic.
This is Screwball, the changeling-pony hybrid. The freak. The mad mare.
A pony, just like everyone else.
This is Screwball, going home.
