What do you do when your sister and your alter-ego start dating and they keep having really loud sex while you’re trying to sleep?

by TheWraithWriter

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Princess Celestia, Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Nightmare Moon, Romance, Princess Luna
Length: 1044

Despite what anyone may say, Celestia and Nightmare-Moon have begun dating. But just because they like it, doesn't mean that everyone else does

Despite what anyone may say, Celestia and Nightmare-Moon have begun dating. But just because they like it, doesn't mean that everyone else does. The nobles of Canterlot, the denizens of Ponyville, the Spirit of Chaos, the Mistress of the Universe, the Creator on High, and the Princess of the Night. They all have their own thoughts on the couple. Will Nightmare and Celestia stay together? Will their love spark a revolution? Will Luna do something suggestive with cheese?

Well if I told you you wouldn't read the story.

Officially aborted sequel to Hello Pot, this is Kettle. I’m black.

Published 2013-10-21 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-10-21 23:10:02 UTC

Sleepless

What do you do when your sister and your alter-ego start dating and they keep having really loud sex while you’re trying to sleep?

Over a thousand years ago, Nightmare-Moon was banished to the Moon. When she returned, her evil plot (No, not her ass) was foiled by six young mares with attitude. On that night, the entities known as Luna and Nightmare were separated. Years later, Nightmare returned, but she had no interest in either her former scheme nor her former host.

No, instead, she had an interest in certain goddess of the sun.

Sleepless

“What do you mean I should cut back?” Nightmare-Moon, former supposed Omnicidal Maniac, asked angrily.

“I am just saying it might be better if you didn’t eat like that all the time.” Celestia, current co-ruler of Equestria and goddess of the Sun said.

“It might be better if I didn’t eat like that all the time? Isn’t that a tad hypocritical you cake munching tyrant!?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.”

“You’re one the talk, miss Plunge The World Into Eternal Darkness.”

“You’re never going to let that go, are you?”

“I’ll let it go right after you stop whining about how you spent a thousand years in the sky.”

“Well, I’m sorry. I’ll stop whining when you admit you over reacted.”

“I did not over react!”

Nightmare began speaking in a horrid imitation of the sun goddess. “Oh deary me, it would appear the Night Princess has been talking to herself and now she wants ponies to appreciate the Night just as much as they appreciate the Day. Can’t have that now, can we? Moon, thousand years Moon!”

“I do not sound like that!” Celestia shouted, sounding defensive.

“Oh yes you do!” Nightmare-Moon said.

“I do not!” Celestia retorted. “You attention whore!”

“What!?”

“Did I stutter!”

“False virgin!”

The two had been steadily been taking steps towards each other, now they stood but a dozen or so paces apart.

“Lazy ass!” Celestia accused.

“Fat flank!” Nightmare spat.

They suddenly leapt at each other and collided in a flurry of wings and hooves. Their lips locked and muffled moans of excitement came form their throats as the two alicorns passionately made out.

********

Luna grumbled to herself as she clearly heard the sounds of the argument. In spite of the distance and the several thick stone walls that separated her from her sister’s room, Celestia and Nightmare’s voices carried a surprising distance.

The voices suddenly stopped and Luna sighed in relief. She snuggled down in her soft bed, head resting on the pillow so properly stuffed with downy feathers.

At last, she could sleep.

A low moan caused her ear to twitch.

“Oh, Tia, oh…. Not there, you know what happens when you touch me there…”

A giggle.

“Don’t act like you don’t like it…”

A soft yet still clearly heard gasp.

“Oh, you always know how to push my buttons… Oh!”

The sharp cry caused Luna’s eye lids to shoot open.

“Wait, wait…” it was Nightmare speaking. “What if Luna hasn’t gone to sleep yet? I wouldn’t want to keep her uuUUUUUUP!”

A low chuckle from Celestia. “Luna? She went to sleep an hour ago. We’re all alone…” another giggle.

Luna groaned in exasperation and put the pillow over her head, clamping her hooves around it in a futile attempt to block out the sounds coming from her sister’s room. This wasn’t an uncommon occurrence. Her sister and her former headmate had a thing for picking pointless fights and then having really loud sex.

“Sweet Faust this is the third time this week.” she groaned. “And it is only Monday!”

********

Elsewhere in the palace, a different set of ears was picking up on the disturbance.

“There they go again.” Lauren Faust, better know as Lady Fausticorn, said, glancing in the direction of her eldest daughter’s room. She sighed. “They certainly are… rambunctious.”

“Rambunctious? Is that seriously the word you’re going to use?” asked a certain draconequus.

Faust raised an eyebrow. “What word would you prefer?”

“Horny Teenagers.” Discord said.

“I think they’re cute.” the third being in the room weighed in.

“When I want your opinion, Galaxia, I’ll just remind myself that I don’t care what you think.” Discord said to the large, purple-so-dark-it-was-almost-black coated, steel-grey maned, yellow eyed, dragicorn.

Glaxia snorted. “You’re just mad Lauren likes me more than you.”

“Guys…” Faust said, not wanting to hear another of their arguments.

Discord snorted back. “As if I would care.”

“You obviously care about your daughter.” Galaxia said. “But it would seem what bother’s you is she’s associating with mine.”

“Celestia can associate with whomever she wants.”

“Guys…” Faust tried again.

“Really? So her and Nightmare having sex right now doesn’t bother you?”

“Listen you high on the ‘essence of the universe’ bimbo, just because your daughter caught the attention of mine does not mean I have to play soft ball with you. So, I would advise you back off right now.”

“Bimbo?!” Galaxia said, small flames shooting from her flaring nostrils.

“GUYS!” Faust shouted, getting the other two to look at her.

“What?” they said in unison, followed by Discord triumphantly shouting, “Jinx!”

Faust took a deep breath. “Listen, I get that you two don’t necessarily like each other, but would you please stop fighting all the time?”

The two huffed but nodded, thin trails of smoke coming from Galaxia’s nostrils.

“Good, now shake hands and apologize.”

The two just gave her a look.

Faust summoned a pen and a stack of papers that had Scrip: Fabric of Reality: DON’T REWRITE! drawn in flowing script at the top.

The two froze.

“If you don’t apologize, I’ll replace you two with Sombra and Gilda.” Faust said, waggling the pen.

Discord and Galaxia turned to each other and began apologizing profusely.

“I’m sorry I called you a bimbo.”

“I’m sorry I reminded you of how much Faust loves my body.”

“Galaxia!”

The dragicorn grinned. “What? Don’t deny it.”

Faust sighed and rolled her eyes and she poofed the paper and pen away. “Fine. Now, can we please start working out the name of the next chapter?”

Author's Note

First chapter of the highly (Sorry, ego) demanded sequel.
Enjoy the horrors that are to come.