According to Aristotle, one of the principal goals one must have is to gain a simple appreciation for something while not over-indulging, for to engage in an excess is immoral. If this is true, then Pinkie Pie is Hitler. The inside of Sugarcube corner was covered wall to wall with banners, streamers, and for some reason vanilla syrup, or at least one would hope it’s vanilla. And while the majority of the space in the building was often filled with furniture that would normally be found in a restaurant, it was replaced with a large stage jutting from the serving counter which culminated at a point topped with a circle. Pinkie Pie, naturally, was setting up a pole in the middle of the point so that it was equidistant from all the sides of the end of the stage.

“Oh, you made it! For a second there I thought you got lost or assaulted by a roving band of misfits or baked into a cupcake, but I am so glad that you’re here now!” And with that she jumped from the stage, forgot that the key to flying is avoiding everything on the ground, and landed on top of Twilight.

Dazed, Twilight regained consciousness some time later and looked at her friend who was standing over her with a grin from ear to ear. Normally this would be concerning, but these are not normal circumstances so instead she was unamused.

“Pinkie Pie, before you try and use me as a trampoline again, what was your plan?” Said Twilight as she slid out and righted herself back onto her four legs.

“Oh, that! Well you know my cousin once removed, right? No? Well anyways it turns out that she made a bunch of movies and is one of the best entertainers in all of Equestria! So I thought maybe you could just do what she does and something good will happen!”

“I see. Just one problem, why me?”

“Oh!” This question did not actually catch Pinkie Pie off guard, but rather she had to keep up appearances so nobody would be able to accurately understand her true omniscience. “Well you see, Rarity is busy making clothes, Applejack is baking treats, Rainbow Dash is making the weather as clear as possible, Fluttershy needs to oversee the petting zoo, and I will be busy making sure everypony is having fun!”

Twilight began to perspire audibly, before she finally found her excuse. “But if you’re in charge of making everypony enjoy themselves, then shouldn’t that mean that you should do this?”

“Sorry Twilight, but I made a promise to my family to never follow in the footsteps of that relative. Or rather, they made me promise. I don’t know why but it looks like she was having fun doing what she did.”

Princess Sparkle sighed in defeat and accepted her task, as it was her duty to make sure to raise as many funds for the children as possible. “Fine, let’s get this over with. Which cousin were you talking about?”

“Oh, that would be Cream. I don’t know why but everypony in my family seems to disapprove of her. I think their all being kinda silly, I mean nopony can be all that bad. Anyways, follow me!” And so the pink pony quickly led the lavender alicorn along the interior of the building up to the attic. And as with all attics, there will be fun.

Even though the attic had no part of the charity, the small room above the bakery was adorned with festive lights and contained an inordinate amount of confetti that carpeted the floor and towers of stacked sugary drinks, which all reasonably led Twilight to believe this place was used for storage before everything was being used. However what was most out of place and dissuaded this thought was a projector that was pointed at a disturbingly blank wall. One one side of the projector there was a stack of film reels and on the other side was an antique wooden wheelchair that may have been used by a hare-lipped bodybuilder to shuffle pensioners around.

“Oh, silly me. Sorry, I had someone else over for a party.” Said the Pink Pony who kicked the chair over to the other side of the room. Twilight moved and sat in its place and watched as her friend took glancing looks at the titles of the movies before tossing them aside. “Larry The Cable Guy visits Ponyville? Nah! How to Preen your Chicken? Nope! Lauren Faust’s Mystical Journey into the land of Tramp Stamp Horses? Uh uh! Rainbow Factory?” She said, thinking to herself before gently setting it aside. “Not this time.” And she continued in this fashion before coming to the second to last reel which she held aloft. “Finally! Here it is! Two Ponies, a Stage, and a Dream. This was the art film that led her to become a star, oh I can hardly wait!”

Twilight couldn’t help but smile as her friend set up the projector, but still she shook her head guessing that Pinkie Pie was back to sampling the party favors again. Soon enough, the projector was ready and Pinkie Pie took a seat next to the other viewer, produced a bowl of popcorn from the ether, and sat it between them as the movie began to play.

Both ponies sat attentively as they viewed the screen which showed a stage very similar to the one beneath them though clearly in a different locale with worse lighting. Soon, music began to play and a pony who clearly was a relative of Pinkie’s burst onto stage and began to dance with great energy and passion. After a while, the music cut and the pony returned backstage. And at this point the camera began to follow the unnamed actress as she entered into her private room, but was abruptly cut off as Pinkie turned off the projector. “And that’s about all you need to see. Do you think you got it?”

“Pinkie, I don’t think there was a single thing in that video that did not offend me. Why did you show me this?

“Well it was either this or a Stallion Film, but I don’t think that we can get away with anything that was done there. But trust me, this will work out.”

“Look, I’m sure you think this is a good idea but you’re wrong.”

“We’ll make a hundred bits, minimum.”

By no means should it be implied that Twilight is a pony of ill repute willing to do vile things for money. But she did say “Well, I suppose since it’s for the children, I’ll do it.” Which provoked a leap of joy from Pinkie who forgot to miss the ground again and ended up prone on the floor of the attic.

“Yippee! Now let’s go get you something to wear for the show!” And with that, Pinkie Pie led Twilight along a merry chase to Rarity’s clothes shop.

Author's Note

A Stallion Film = A Serbian Film.
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