In a Strange Land

by TheFanficStealer

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Crossover, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Romance
Length: 23929

Death God Harry Potter meets our favorite ponies. Will feature Twilight using Ultima at least once.

The battle with Discord does not go as planned, and it appears all is lost as the Elder God of Chaos and Disharmony vanquishes our heroines. Meanwhile, in another time, in another place, a familiar young man finds eight young women unconscious near his home. They sport the strangest hair colors, are strumming with magic, and have the strangest accessories on them...

Inspired by "The Wizard and the Lonely Princess" by Harry Leferts, "Harry Potter and the Witches' Secret" trilogy by selector, and "Beating the Heat" by Andrew Joshua Talon (Yeah, I'm going there ...Later, but I'm still going there.)

God!Super(almost Gary Stu-like)!Harry, Harry/Harem. You have been warned.

Pic by jaidenkaiba

Published 2012-03-05 07:04:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-10 19:48:28 UTC

Chapter 1: Awakening

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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OoOoO

Chapter 1: Awakening

Twilight Sparkle gradually came awake to the calming effects of that particular warmth only sunlight through a curtain could produce. She lazed a bit, her mind drifting as she luxuriated in the feeling of clean linen on her naked skin…

Her mind screeched to a halt. Naked skin? What--?

And that was when the sleepy calmness flash-evaporated as the memories hit her in all their traumatizing glory.

Twilight immediately shot up in the bed, looking around the clean, brightly lit room. Where in the name of Princess Celestia was she? How long had she been out? Had they won? Was--?

"Oh! You're awake!"

Twilight turned to the voice, her hands automatically pulling her comforter up to her chin in an effort to preserve her modesty-

Her mind screeched to another halt. Hands? Modesty? What the hay--?!

And that was when her brain finally made the connection it would have made if she hadn't been bombarded by memories earlier: something about her body was horribly, horribly wrong. Her coat was gone, leaving smooth, unblemished skin that was just a tad bit on the pale side. Her forelimbs were sleeker, and her hooves were replaced with dainty, five-digit hands similar to Spike's, only missing scales and tipped with some sort of weak, blunt talons.

The structure of her barrel had been drastically altered, the most obvious change at the moment being that her two mammary glands had migrated onto her sternum and taken a horizontal formation. They now only had one duct each and had apparently swelled quite a bit, appearing as two round globes (strangely enough, she felt an inexplicable pride at the fact that her mammary glands were full, perky, and had a circumference just the slightest bit smaller than her hands with fingers spread).

Pulling up her comforter revealed that the proportions of her hind legs had changed, and the various joints either shifted or, as was the case with her fetlocks and hooves, completely gone, replaced by strangely set hocks and a pair of five-digit feet that, once again, looked nothing like Spike's.

The action caused a bit of her hair to fall over her eyes, drawing attention to the fact that she no longer had a mane or tail, her mane being replaced by long hair that, according to what her new hands were feeling, covered the top, back, and sides of her head, and her tail was just… gone. It also brought attention to the fact that her horn and snout were also gone, her mouth and jaw flattened and her muzzle replaced with a nose just small enough so that she could barely see it if she crossed her eyes.

Overall, it was very, very obvious that she was no longer a pony.

Cue panic.

"What-? How-? This-! Oh no oh no ohnoohnoohnoohno…"

"Miss! Miss! Please calm down!"

Twilight turned her attention back to the other pony-- "person," something told her-- in the room with her, and found herself unable to do anything but stare: the pon-person seemed to be of the same species as her new body, with long red hair in a braid and fair skin just the slightest shade darker than her own. Despite the panic setting in, a small part of her was inexplicably annoyed that the female's-- "woman's"-- mammary glands-- "breasts"-- were noticeably larger than her own.

"W-what are you? What happened to me? Did you cause this? Where--?" she rambled, her mouth trying to keep up with the millions of questions running through her head.

"Deep breaths, ma'am. Take deep breaths before you start to hyperventilate."

Twilight found herself doing as the soothing voice instructed, forcing herself to shut up, close her eyes, and take several deep, calming, centering breaths. When she was sure her panic was lowered to a manageable state, she opened her eyes again and looked into the worried brown ones of the mysterious woman.

"Good," the woman said, "Now, how are you, miss…?"

Twilight hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not to reveal her name… before realizing that, at this point, with her completely defenseless and vulnerable (since when did a lack of clothes equate to vulnerability?), she was way beyond the point where holding back her name would be an advantage. Besides, maybe if she cooperated, she might get answers of her own.

"Twilight. Twilight Sparkle," she provided. The woman blinked at her name, as if surprised by it, before visibly collecting herself. Why would her name be a surprise? Perhaps she recognized her as the wielder of the Element of Magic?

"A pleasure to meet you, Miss… Sparkle--"

"Just 'Twilight' is fine," Twilight corrected out of habit.

"Okay, Miss Twilight. My name is Susan Bones-Potter. My husband found you and your… err, friends--?"

"Oh Celestia! My friends! Are they alright?" she asked eagerly, all of her other questions forgotten in lieu of the most important one. Twilight had a sinking feeling when Susan flinched and averted her eyes.

"They are fine, for the most part," she replied, obviously uncomfortable, "but two of them, though… they're resting now, but they were in pretty bad shape when we found them: they'd been hit with some seriously twisted magic, and it took everything we had to save them. As it is, they're still injured, it's just that at least they now have a very good chance of surviving…"

Twilight's felt her stomach drop; who'd been hurt? Rarity? Pinkie Pie? Rainbow Dash? Applejack? No, please let it not have been kind, sweet Fluttershy--!

"W-who was h-hurt?" she asked, inwardly steeling herself.

"The girl about your age, with sparkling dark blue-ish hair and the crescent moon tattoos, and the woman with… err… pastel hair and the sunburst tattoos…"

…Shock.

Twilight could only gap as her mind tried to wrap around what she'd just heard; the Princesses-- and who could those descriptions be of but the Princesses?-- were hurt? But… but they were the PRINCESSES! Goddesses of the Sun and Moon! They… they didn't get hurt! They were--

And then her mind finished assimilating the knowledge, and it hit her like a ton of bricks. THE PRINCESSESS WERE HURT!!! Oh no oh no ohnohnoohnoohno…!!!

"THE PRINCESSESS WERE HURT?!?" she cried as she made to get off the bed, "Where are they?! I have to-- WHOA!!" She had gotten as far as standing upright (as she assumed was what her body was adapted for, judging from Susan) before nearly face-planting as she tried to adjust to walking on two legs instead of four. Fortunately, she'd been caught by her mysterious hostess, who had rushed over as soon as she saw her attempting to vacate the bed.

"Please, Miss Twilight, you're obviously not able to stand yet--"

Twilight, as grateful as she was to Susan for not letting her face meet the floor, still struggled to get out of the redhead's surprisingly strong grip. "Please, take me to the Princesses!" she begged whist she struggled, "I-I have to check on them! Please!"

There was a moment of silence from Susan, and Twilight turned to see that the other woman seemed to be contemplating her request. Her anxiousness to check on the Princesses made the seconds seem to last forever, but eventually Susan acquiesced.

"Alright, Miss Twilight, I'll help you over to them," she agreed, "Harry wanted to speak with one of you anyway, and he's the one looking over them, so this works out."

"Thank you, Misses… er, Bones-Potter," Twilight said, injecting as much of the gratitude she was feeling into her voice as she could.

"You're welcome," the redhead replied, half-carrying, half-dragging Twilight as she tried to get used to her new body, "And you can just call me 'Susan.'"

"Only if you call me 'Twilight.'"

"Alright… but first, I think we better get you some clothes, especially since we're going to see my husband."

Twilight blinked, then looked down when she noticed how drafty it was. She was still naked. Oh. Strangely enough, the embarrassment (why was she so embarrassed? Aside from the occasional formal wear for a visit to Canterlot and the uniforms some professions required, most ponies generally don't wear clothes!) was enough to cut through her panic, if only a little. She felt her cheeks heat up in a blush.

"Right, good idea," she agreed.

Author's Note

A/N: Here starts the actual HP crossover. Did I get Twilight's character right? I hope I did. I watched the series through twice, just to make sure…

Review!

Chapter 3: Q & A Session (Part 1)

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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X
OoOoO

Chapter 3: Q & A Session (Part 1)

"Alright. My first question is, of course, what happened? What left you and your friends in such a state? I mean, one does not suffer magical exhaustion and Chaos-tainted wounds from a mere stroll through the park."

Harry figured he might as well get the hard stuff out of the way, first-- it would be painful for Twilight, but he had to know, in case whatever happened might prove to be harmful to he and his. At least this way, his other questions would hopefully take her mind off the subject later.

Harry mentally cringed when the look of eager anticipation she had sported after he offered to answer her questions faded, her violet eyes dulling as she undoubtedly relived what she considered her failure. Ridiculous thought, to be sure, but… well, when you get to blaming yourself for something, it could be rather hard to accept it wasn't your fault. He should know-- like he'd hinted to the poor girl before him, he'd blamed himself for all the deaths in the Second Wizarding War (well, all the deaths of those close to him, anyway-- after a while, he had stopped giving a flying fuck about the Wizarding World in general, and had offed Voldemort more out of vengeance than anything else) enough times in the past.

"We…" she began, then paused in trepidation, before visibly steeling herself and continuing, "We were battling Discord, the Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos. The initial plan was to hit him with the Elements of Harmony, seal him back into stone, then use the Elements to revert all the damage he had caused. Unfortunately, the Magic Missile I wove with the magic from the Elements was blocked, and we were quickly put on the defensive.

"We were losing when the Princesses arrived-- I think they were there to distract him, so that we could get another shot at defeating him. I wove another Magic Missile, but was too slow before Discord noticed we were defenseless and attacked us directly. From there, I'm not quite sure what happened: I fired just as the Princesses appeared before us, I… heard both of them scream in pain, I think, then the world just sort of… twisted and I blacked out. Next thing I know, I woke up to find myself in this form, with Susan there to greet me."

Harry absorbed her tale-- while trying his best to ignore her haunted, thousand-yard stare all the while, and being only marginally successful-- and worked through the information. A being called Discord claiming to be a Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos, and something called the Elements of Harmony--

"The necklaces and the tiara we took off them, I think."

"Hermione? Finally decided to come out of your research, love?"

"Nope, just caught a bit of your thoughts and thought you should know. I think these Elements of Harmony are the necklaces and tiara we took off the six mortal girls-- the gems mounted on them are crystallized Order Magic, designed to… gather and amplify magic, by the looks of things. The five necklaces channel the mana of the wearers to whoever's wearing the tiara, though how it does that, I haven't figured out."

"…Yet."

A giggle echoed down the bond. "…Yet, of course."

"How about the pieces found on the two goddesses?"

"As far as I can tell? Enchanted to be unbreakable… and that's about it. I think they might be ceremonial, for the most part. Maybe a form of back-up armor, in case they can't get a deflection spell up in time?"

"The wands?"

"Those are strange-- from cursory scans, ridiculously magical unicorn horns, and they read as still attached."

"…I'm sorry?"

"You heard me."

"That's…"

"Weird, I know. Might be evidence for your theory, though."

"Maybe. Want to ask Ms. Twilight here some questions, just to be sure. Thanks, Hermione. Don't forget to take a break, alright?"

There was a sultry mental purr. "Oh? And what will you do if I don't? Will you come and… get me… yourself, like last time? I must admit, I quite enjoyed…"

"I'll send Luna."

"…Right, I'm done. You fight dirty, you know that? Dear Creator, if I didn't know better, I could swear that girl was part shikima…"

Harry mentally chuckled as he turned his attention back to his previous train of thought. So, some entity called Discord and the Elements of Harmony… Discord had enough power to overcome the innate magical resistance of, and majorly wound, two goddess of Order, and the Elements of Harmony were composed of crystallized Order magic. Assuming Discord was at least a high-level Chaos God-- a safe assumption, all things considered-- and Twilight had cast her spell just as Discord's spell neared her little group, there was a high possibility that the two types of magic collided. Huh. Well, that explained how they got here-- Order Magic and Chaos Magic never got along, and when they meet, strange things tended to happen. Actually, teleportation-- even inter-dimensional teleportation, which he suspected-- was unusually low-key, as far as possible results went. Perhaps a trip and a some major anatomical transformations…?

Next question.

"The tattoos on your thighs, and the wing tattoos on the back of the rainbow-haired girl and the pink-haired girl… do they have any kind of significance?"

His question seemed to knock Twilight out of her brooding-- and he smiled when his rather amateurish plan to keep her mind off her guilt appeared to have succeeded-- as she blushed, probably because he had just indirectly told her he'd seen her naked. Then her blush turned into a look of shock.

"You don't know what a Cutie Mark is?"

There was total silence in his mind after that particular revelation.

"…It's called a what?"

"Cutie Mark. Dear Creator, they call it a Cutie Mark."

"…I think I just got diabetes."

"Girls, be nice."

"…Or a cavity. At least a cavity. I mean… Cutie Mark?!"

"Scylla. Down girl."

"…What am I, a dog?"

"Well, you certain like it doggy--"

"LUNA!!!"

"Fu fu fu…"

Harry dragged his attention away from the antics of his bond-mates (and Luna's strange laugh-- where did she get that from? It certainly wasn't any of them, and he was certain she hadn't laughed like that back at Hogwarts…) to ask Twilight the million-Galleon question.

"And just what is a… Cutie Mark?" Dear Creator, just saying it left him feeling like he needed to check his glucose levels!

"Ha! Told you!"

"We never disagreed, love, we just want you to be nicer about it."

A huff and a pout. "Whatever."

"A Cutie Mark," Twilight began, getting into something he liked to call the "Lecturer Stance" (it was something Hermione did quite often… and made quite sexy, too. Come to think of it, Twilight looked damn cute in the Lecturer Stance… perhaps she was an inter-dimensional version of Hermione?), "Is a magical mark that appears when one finds their special talent, something they can do better than any other po-person. It can either represent the talent itself, or an attribute that is related to the talent, and usually appears during foalho- err, pre-adolescence. Mine, for example--" and here she blushed bright red again "--is a pink six-pointed star over a white six-pointed star, surrounded by five smaller six-pointed stars, also white. It shows that my special talent is learning and wielding magic, and symbolizes magic itself."

Harry "hmm"-ed as he digested this. So the marks were representative of a talent of some kind, something one could do better than most other people… okay, that made sense in his case, as his was the mark of the Deathly Hallows. Maybe Neliel's case as well, since she was a descendent of Loki through Sleipnir, and a Herbology and Potions Mistress… Hermione's and Luna's definitely, since Hermione was a book with the alchemic sign for the sun, and Luna's was a winged sword of fire, both the marks of their respective ancestors. But what about Scylla, Daphne, and Susan?

"We'll get on it, Harry. I must admit, now that we know what they are, I'm curious as to what ours mean, as well."

"My thanks, ladies."

Right, his girls were working on that. Time for the next question-- oh wait.

"And what about the wings?"

Twilight blinked in confusion, before seeming to recognize what he was referring to and replying, "Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy used to be Pegasi. I can only imagine that's what happened to their wings in our current forms."

Harry barely kept himself from twitching as he heard the names-- Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy…? First Twilight Sparkle (the poor girl), then Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?! Were all of their names like this? What were the other girl's called? Pinkie? Amethyst? Golden Delicious?

…Well, actually… the blonde was kinda hot… he wouldn't mind finding out if she really was de--

"Son of a--! Damn it, Luna! Stop sending your twisted little thoughts into my head, you minx! How are you even doing that, anyway?"

His only response were giggles. From all of his wives. Shivers of fear and… anticipation ran down his spine, and he wondered what they were planning.

After throwing Luna's transplanted thought (seriously, how did she do that?) into a box and locking that box away into the most deepest, darkest recesses of his mind, Harry turned his attention to the relevant parts of Twilight's answer. Pegasi, huh? So his theory was most likely true: his guests had all been previously equine, of the same type as the animagus forms of his wives and himself. But just to make sure...

"So am I to assume all of you were originally some kind of equine species?" he asked.

"Yes, " Twilight answered with an affirmative nod, "We call ourselves Equestrians, after our country, or, more colloquially, ponies."

Hmm… "Equestrian"… so their country was called Equestria? Land of the Horsemen?

"Actually, I think it's more 'Land of the Horse-Men.'" Hermione's mental voice corrected.

Harry thought about it for a bit, before answering, "I don't know… that makes it sound like they're a country of centaurs, and if Twilight's reaction when she woke up was any indication, they've probably never seen a human before. A centaur would at least recognize a human torso."

"Perhaps it's 'Land of the Horses That Are Like Men,' since they're obviously sentient?" Daphne offered. The bonded thought over the suggestion for a bit, before agreeing upon it-- it was the most likely answer (despite the glaring logical inconsistency in the form of an absence of humans in Equestria), and they had nothing better. That little curiosity figured out, Harry turned to clarifying more of the information they were receiving.

" I see… and I take it that you and the other one with the purple hair were unicorns, while the other pinkette and the blonde were… err, regular ponies?"

Twilight nodded in affirmation again. "Rarity and I are Unicorns, yes, and Pinkie Pie and Applejack are Earth Ponies."

Harry fought another twitching fit down as his mind derailed from the newly learned names. Well, one name in particular.

"Wow… you were spot on there."

"…Aren't I supposed to be the Seer? You're stealing my gig, Harry!"

"I… that is… I mean… okay, Rarity isn't so bad, I guess, and Apple Jack had a name similar to the liquor, so more power to her, but… Pinkie Pie?!? Seriously?!"

"…You have to admit, though: ridiculously cutesy name or not, she's hot!"

"Luna..."

"That wasn't me! …But I must agree-- I'd like a slice of that pie any day! Yum!"

"…Then who was-- Scylla?!"

"…What? Can you blame me? I'm bisexual, and she's got the most amazing set of hips and breasts I've ever seen!"

"…"

"…Well, aside from Neliel, of course, but nothing trumps Neliel. Dear Creator, I could spend days worshiping those sweet, luscious--"

Harry muted the link and fought down the urge to simultaneously blush, sigh, and rub his temples in front of Twilight. Honestly, when did his girls become so…? It had to be Luna's presence in the bond, it just had to be. He was relatively certain none of the girls were ever this… vocal before he bonded Luna; people who say men are the biggest perverts in existence had obviously never met the raging nymphomaniac in a cute little blond package that was his most unpredictable wife… which was ironic, seeing as how her Elemental Alignment was Order.

Boxing and locking away his current train of thought right next to the earlier transplant from Luna, Harry once again turned his attention to the relevant parts of Twilight's answer.

"And I take it that Earth Ponies have some sort of innate magic? Or are Ms. Pie and Ms. Jack special cases?"

"No, Earth Ponies are especially in-tuned with the earth, hence the name. They're naturally better at farming and physical activities, and any harvest they have a hoof in is always larger than average."

"…Physical activities, you say? I wonder if that applies to--"

Having expected that particular thought as soon as those words had left Twilight's lips, Harry was able to quickly tune Luna out before he had to fight down another blush.

"And the Pegasi? I'm going to assume their magic is... err, sky based?"

"Yes. They can manipulate clouds, and their primary job is to take care of Equestria's weather."

Harry couldn't help it after hearing that answer-- his jaw dropped, and his eyes nearly popped out of their sockets, with how much they were bugged out. They had weather control magic. Dear Creator in Heaven, they had weather control magic…

"Harry…" Hermione's equally shocked mental voice whispered over the bond, "You are going to make her tell you everything she knows about how the Pegasi use their weather magic, and you are going to get answers. I don't care how you do it, but you are going to get me that information. Do so, and I will be your eternal servant; I will let you do all kinds of kinky, perverse, degrading things to me. I'll be your little cum-slut until I'm covered and bloated and leaking. I'll--"

"--You already do all those things," Luna chimed in, annoyingly not shocked. Did nothing phase that girl?

"And I'm really not a fan of the whole dom/sub thing anyway," Harry added in his two cents.

"…Shut up and get me that information!!!"

"Err… Harry?" Twilight inquired, giving him a look of apprehension, "Are you alright?"

It took Harry several moments to realize his face was still frozen in a shocked expression. He quickly schooled his features with an embarrassed cough. "My apologies, Twilight, but I was surprised. We've never been able to develop a particularly viable form of weather magic, so hearing that the Pegasi of your homeland-- Equestria, you said it was?-- can wield such an ability as to make it the job of choice for the majority of them… it's incredible. Will it be possible for you to divulge some information about it?"

Twilight looked decidedly uncomfortable at the question, and Harry honestly thought she was about to dodge it or something when she replied, "Err… actually, as far as I know, it's innate to their type. The best Unicorns can do is a spell that allows for walking on clouds-- it's the only way for Earth Ponies and Unicorns to stay on and get around Cloudsdale-- and a spell that forms a miniature black cloud that usually shoots a single lightning bolt before it dispels."

Harry sighed and slumped down a little; his divine senses weren't detecting a lie, so Twilight honestly didn't know anything about Equestrian weather magic, and wasn't just trying to avoid the question to keep potentially sensitive secrets away from him. Pity, really. If this had panned out, they might have finally had something other than the massively complicated, extremely mana extensive rituals that barely ever worked that were the most current and successful forms of weather magic known to magic-kind.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Harry could have sworn he heard Hermione face-plant into her desk in disappointment. He made a mental note to make it up to her later.

"Err… sorry?" Twilight offered, embarrassed. It was probably from having her ignorance demonstrated-- she seemed the type to want to be able to answer every question, much like Hermione was wont to.

"It's alright," Harry said, waving her worries away, before sitting upright again. "So, I've asked you about what happened to bring you girls here, what those tattoos you all have are, and I was going to ask you what you all were and where you all came from, but you answered those last two already. I think that's all I have for you at the moment, so do you have any questions for me?"

The look of utter glee Twilight sported made Harry wonder just what he'd gotten himself into…

Author's Note

A/N: This chapter… was a lot harder to write than it should have been. Probably because, aside for studying for finals and finishing various essays, I actually had to completely rewrite this chapter from scratch-- the first draft was, on hindsight, horrifically bad. Like something one of those brain dead teeny boppers who think Twilight is a masterpiece would write. Yuck.

…Huh… speaking of which, has anyone tried a Twilight X MLP:FiM crossover? How would that even work? "Hey Twilight? Why do I get the urge to laugh my flank off at you every time I see that really pale monkey-looking guy that keeps stalking you?" "I don't know, but I feel like he's a mockery of my name…"

Also, before anyone asks: Scylla is not an OC! She is a canon character, just… changed. A great deal. Both physically and mentally. Also, this Neliel is neither an OC or the one from Bleach, though she does share physical similarities… like in a certain set of three numbers…

So… quite a bit happened in this chapter for what is merely the first half of the Harry/Twilight conversation: we get a glimpse into the dynamics within the Soul Bond, we find out who Harry's wives are, and we found out Harry and his wives all have Cutie Marks. Also, the Applejack/Apple Jack thing: that is NOT A TYPO!!! Twilight is aware that "Applejack" is one word, but Harry has no reason to know that, hence why he thinks her name sounds like the alcoholic beverage, but is composed of two words. This difference was deliberate, so as to emphasize the different perspectives! So all those trolls out there, don't bitch about it, or you'll have a very unfornate personal meeting with my Maliwan Volcano Sniper Rifle (Borderlands and BL2 FTW!!!).

Oh, and Luna L. is a nympho, because that's the only way Adult!Luna should ever be written.

(1) Twilight was about to say "foalhood," but realized she had no idea what the human equivalent of fillies and colts were. Hence, the switch to something more… species neutral.

Review!

Chapter 4: The Q & A Session Strikes Back! (Part 2)

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

OoOoO
X
OoOoO
Chapter 4: The Q & A Session Strikes Back! (Part 2)

Twilight couldn't help feeling a bit giddy as her turn for questions finally arrived. From what she could extrapolate, she was at the very least in a completely different land, most likely past the Great Sea. Here, a new, sentient species that looked to be as advanced as ponies had evolved completely outside the influences of ponykind! What magicks did they develop? What technologies? What philosophies? Oh, she was so excited! An interview with what was essentially an alien! This was historical moment! She could almost imagine the thesis she was going to write!

She barely kept herself from squealing in glee at that last thought, and had to force herself to calm down. She took deep breaths, in, out, in, out. You have to actually ask a question to conduct an interview. Just keep a cool head, and ask the first question on the checklist. Right. She could do that. She gave a mental look over her equally mental checklist (no paper, no quill, no magic to conjure them… oh, here's hoping I don't forget!) and followed her own suggestion.

"Alright then," she began, "First question: what exactly are you? I'm fairly certain your species is mammalian, but beyond that nothing comes to mind."

"Well…" Harry moved into a thinking pose-- arms crossed, head tilted, and eyes looking up at the ceiling in thought-- and Twilight was momentarily distracted by how… cute he looked. She gave herself a mental slap-- what the hay was wrong with her?! They were two completely different species (well, not that the moment, but that shouldn't matter)! She shouldn't be finding him attractive!

…Then again, Spike was infatuated with Rarity, and Rainbow Dash might have had something with that one Griffon, if her brief-but-deep depression after that particular disaster was any indication, so maybe… Argh! This is why she didn't do romance-- relationships were so bucking confusing!!!

Further thoughts on the subject were promptly interrupted when her host finished gathering his thoughts and began talking:

"We're a species of bipedal sapient primates colloquially called 'humans,' 'mankind,' or 'humanity.' More formally, our race is called homo sapien, with our particular branch of humanity being called homo sapien magicis-- magical humans. We're the dominant species on this planet, the alpha predators of just about any region we settle in. We're also the only sapient species on the planet whose majority cannot wield magic of some kind."

Twilight frowned in thought as she went over what she'd just been told-- the only species whose majority cannot wield magic? She already knew that wasn't true-- while much wasn't known about the Minotaur race, it WAS known that they possessed strength that easily surpassed the strongest of ponies, but at the cost of their inability to wield magic of any kind. Most Griffons and Diamond Dogs also couldn't wield magic, the exception being those of their Royal Lines: the Line of the Griffon Wizard-King, and the Line of the Diamond Dog Overlord.

And why did he claim humans were the predominant species on Gaia? He didn't know about ponies, sure, but if his race was as advanced as she thought, they should have realized they were on the smaller of Gaia's two habitable continents, barely half of the size of Equestria. He also implied his race was aware of the other sentient races on the planet, so they should have figured out that the other, much larger continent was possibly dominated by Griffons, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, and/or Dragons, all of which were obviously better predators than humans, if her own soft hide and blunt, weak claws were any indication.

But his words didn't have that sense of superiority one would find in a species that believed they were predominant despite all evidence to the contrary, either, as there were none of the usual bodily tells-- passive-aggressive stance, nose turned up, etc etc. But if that were the case, why hadn't he said they were the predominant race on the LANDMASS, instead? Perhaps they had evolved a completely different system of bodily tells? But everything pointed at them having developed much like pony society did, so they should have at least SIMILAR tells, if not identical!

Argh! First question, and she was already confused!

"Is something the matter, Twilight? Did I not make that clear enough to you?" Harry asked, leaning forward to give her a concerned look.

"I'm fine," Twilight replied, blushing. She fought down her confusion, choosing instead to remedy it by asking one of the new questions she just added to her mental checklist. All of them were now under the first answer, indented with a bullet point each… and somewhat derogatory if taken in the wrong context, now that she thought about it. Horse-apples! She couldn't ask any of them without potentially insulting her host!

…Oh wait. Here's one that didn't make her sound like some kind of racial supremacist.

"And how are humans the dominant species of Gaia? The skin seems a bit on the soft side, and the claws on our hands are rather weak and blunt. Is there some kind of defense mechanism? Does the skin harden when in danger? Are these claws capable of being sharpened through thought?"

She expected an anthropological explanation. She didn't expect his surprised reply:

"How do you know that name?"

Twilight blinked. "Err… what name?"

"Gaia."

Twilight blinked again; where was this going? "It's… what we call the planet, after the Queen Mother Goddess. Err… why?"

"Nothing, nothing. Just… strange…"

"What's strange about that?" Twilight, feeling ever-so-slightly affronted-- Why wouldn't they name the planet after the giver of life and magic and the Honored Dame of the Royal Sisters?

"Nothing, really! It's more of a rather interesting coincidence, since we used to call our planet Gaia, as well…"

Twilight felt her mind freeze as she was hit with that particular bit of information. They USED to call the planet Gaia? What…?

Then little bits of information from their conversation earlier, things that seemed relatively inconsequential at the time, bubbled to the surface of her thoughts; come to think of it, Harry had been familiar with Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth Ponies, though he referred to the last one as "regular" ponies. That meant that she had been wrong, and there HAD been some kind of prior contact between pony-kind and… mankind, he called it? And now this off-hand comment about how the name of the planet was now a thing of the past… could it be? Had they, rather than get thrown into another nation beyond the Great Sea, been instead… instead…

…Had they instead been sent forward in time?

Twilight could feel herself beginning to hyperventilate as panic set in, but fought it down ruthlessly. She could not lose her cool! S-she had to-- oh Celestia! What about Discord! Was he still out there? Were they in a bunker of some sort?

No! Think positively! Think. Positive. If Discord were to rule, all life on Equestria would have been wiped out-- he'd clearly shown his thoughts on the value of life: its only worth was how he could twist it to his amusement. There was not only still life, but sentient life-- if different then what she was familiar with-- so that must mean Discord had been defeated sometime in the past. But how? The Elements of Harmony were-- actually, where were they? Where--?

…Perhaps they had been left behind? Perhaps THAT'S how Discord was defeated? But they were still the Bearers, though! She could still feel her connection to the Element of Magic! So how…? Did the Elements disconnect when they left, and only re-connected with them after they arrived in this time period? That would make sense, and it wasn't like she'd ever disconnected from the Element of Magic before, so she had no sense of what something like that would feel like, hence wouldn't know if it had happened or not.

…Oh no… what about the length of time they'd been gone? It was long enough that "Gaia" had fallen out of usage… and this was a completely different sapient species… were they already there before Discord, only nopony had known of them yet? Or did they evolve sometime after Discord? What if ponykind had died out and humans had risen in their place?

…But… it took millions of years for a species to evolve sentience, and thousands more to get to the level of development these humans seem to have. Millions of… but that would mean… her parents, her brother… all dead and dust for a very long time… w-what had happened to them? What…? Had they been killed during Discord's reign? Had they lived to old age? Did Shining Armor go on to have a family? Had… had… a million years…

Her cheeks were wet. Why were her cheeks wet? She was… crying? No. NO! Don't break down. Not yet. Not in front of Harry. Not when the Princesses were barely a yard behind her. Strong. She needed to be strong. Like Applejack. Like Rainbow Dash. Like Fluttershy, and Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. Like… like her friends. She had to be strong like them. She had to be strong FOR them-- they were going to be devastated when they learned what happened… oh dear Celestia…

Okay. Okay. Make sure first. Double check. Maybe she was drastically wrong, and there was some kind of misunderstanding. Double check. If her theory was confirmed, then she could excuse herself, go back to her room-- did she remember where it was? Yes, yes she did-- and break down where she wouldn't embarrass anyone. Ask. C'mon, Twilight, you can do this. A single question.

She looked up and met the extremely worried emerald-green eyes of her host. Oh right. They had been in the middle of a conversation. How long had she just sat there, crying? Didn't matter. Ask the question, then… then.

"H-how… w-what year is it?" she managed to choke out past the massive lump in her throat. Had she swallowed a rock while she was out of it? Silly, why would she-- no! Focus. Wait for the answer. She needed this answer. She needed…

Harry's look of worry was traded for one of confusion. "What year is-- why would you want to know that?" he asked, bewildered.

"Just tell me!" Twilight demanded, the combination of anxiety and fraying sanity making her disregard her manners for a moment.

"It's AD 2009," Harry told her, "But I don't know why--" His statement cut off as he gave her a look she, despite the gap between their species, recognized almost instantly: it was the look of someone working something out, and about to arrive at a startling epiphan--

"Oh for the love of--" he groaned, face-palming with enough force that the sound of palm striking forehead practically echoed through the room. He slouched back in his chair, sliding his hand down his face in exasperation as he did so. "Creator damn it," he mumbled around his hand, "barely two questions in and I accidentally give you a panic attack. This is why Hermione should be the one doing this…"

"W-wha?" Twilight choked out, confusion now warring with her anxiety, fear, depression, and many other negative emotions.

"I'm sorry," he said, removing his hand and focusing back on her as he fixed his posture, "but it seems as if I gave you the wrong impression. I take it you believe you've somehow traveled through time, probably to the future, correct?"

Twilight nodded, not sure where Harry was going.

"Well, you'll be happy to know that that is most assuredly not the case. My dear Twilight, you and your friends didn't jump through time, but rather between space-- you're in a completely different universe, in other words. I was just commenting on how strange it was that your people gave the same name to your planet as mine once did to ours. Again, my apologies."

It took Twilight a few moments to register Harry's words, but when she did, she felt a sense of joyous elation begin to bubble up from within her… which she proceeded to squash with extreme prejudice-- while time travel had been speculated to be possible, though only in whispers-- no one wanted to be laughed out of their field, after all-- inter-dimensional travel was another matter entirely; it just took way too much energy to pierce the veil that separated one world from the next, a generous estimate being somewhere around thirty to fifty times what Princess Celestia, the stronger of the two Royal Sisters, could produce at her best. As much as she wanted to believe Harry, what he was suggesting was impossible by the known laws of magical quantum physics! But when she tried to tell him that, he just smiled and explained:

"Magical laws relating to mana consumption only apply for regular magic-- Fire, Wind, Water, Earth, Light, Dark, and Neutral. Order, Chaos, and Void Magic work on a completely different set of rules due to their natures-- each one allows the wielder to bend all of Creation to their whims, not just specific bits and pieces of it. Order and Chaos are especially suited to warping reality, and strange, normally-impossible things are known to happen when those two opposing forces meet. In this case, your Order Magic from the Elements of Harmony and this… Discord's Chaos Magic ripped a hole in space-time-- something fairly common in such instances, actually-- and you and your friends were sent through the resulting portal."

Twilight absorbed Harry's words, turning them over and matching them with what she knew. Now that she really thought about it, it did make sense, somewhat: Discord kept on doing some downright surreal things, like vanishing her horn, or turning the roads soapy and slippery, or drinking the glass instead of the chocolate milk, while the Elements of Harmony were literally capable of performing miracles, as demonstrated by their healing of Princess Luna, a goddess so much more powerful than her and all of her friends combined, it was patently ridiculous. Any of those acts should have taken massive amounts of mane-na, yet Discord's didn't even seem to notice the complex magicks he'd performed, and they, themselves had only been slightly winded after defeating Nightmare Moon.

"That… that makes sense," Twilight found herself muttering. And it DID make sense, which meant…

"So… we're really in another universe?" Twilight asked, unable to keep the all-consuming hope she was beginning to feel from her tone.

"Yep," Harry replied, giving her a comforting and slightly teasing smile, "This isn't a million years in your future, or what have you. This is just your everyday parallel universe."

Twilight sighed in relief, and with that sigh released all of her anxiety, her panic, her anguish over the fate of Equestria. It also drained her of all of her energy, and she suddenly found herself more tired than she'd ever been before. The realization came with a jaw-cracking yawn, and her eyes became inexplicably heavy.

"I think we should continue this tomorrow," Harry said, "You look beat." Twilight shook her head, both to disagree and to keep herself awake.

"I-I'm fine," she assured him, even as another yawn escaped passed her lips.

"You're obviously exhausted. Excusable, considering the day you've had."

"N-no I'm not! I s-still have questions t-to ask…" Twilight argued, her voice beginning to slur. The table was beginning to look more and more comfortable every moment. Perhaps she could just lay her head down for a bit, shut her eyes, let them rest. She wasn't going to fall asleep from that, right? Yes, just a short rest, and she could go back to asking Harry her questions. A completely different world! Just think of all the things she could discover here…

"And they can wait for tomorrow. Come now, Twilight, let's get you to bed… Twilight? Twilight…?"

Zzzzzzz…

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"And they can wait for tomorrow. Come now, Twilight, let's get you to bed… Twilight? Twilight?"

"Zzzzzzz…"

Harry sighed and shook his head in exasperation, but couldn't help smiling at the sight of the purplette sleeping in the chair across from him, snoring softly in a decidedly feminine manner. Even to the last second, emotionally drained as she was, she was still pursuing knowledge with a passion only Hermione surpassed. He had to admit, it was just as cute with Twilight as it was with Hermione. He wasn't going to do anything about it, of course-- he was happily married, thank you very much-- but it didn't hurt to acknowledge the fact.

Pushing his thoughts aside, he got to his feet and vanished his conjured chair. Taking a step back, he gathered up a slight portion of his magic, infused his will into it, and released it towards the table. It immediately stretched until it was more than two-and-a-half times its original length and two times its width, lowered itself to half of its former height, and sank a little in the middle of its surface, so that it became a slight trough. Satisfied with his work, he conjured a comfortably squishy mattress and pillow on top, then gently levitated the sleeping Twilight onto the new bed before conjuring a fluffy comforter on top of her. She made what could only be described as "a cute little happy sound" as she snuggled into the mattress, and Harry fought down the urge to d'awwwww at how adorable it was. He succeeded, but just barely, and he couldn't do anything about the silly grin that was plastered all over his face.

He checked her over one last time, made sure she was comfortable, then wove a one-way silencing ward around her bed. It was only when he was positive that no sound would be reaching her that he spoke to the empty air, seemingly addressing no one at all.

"Smart, loyal, and damn cute… you made a fine choice in your choice of High Priestess…"

He looked up… and met the simultaneously amused and guarded eyes of the older-looking goddess. In the bed next to her sat the other goddess, who, unlike her elder sister, looked more guarded than amused.

"…Milady Life-Giver, Milady Rest-Bringer. Good evening."

Celestia bowed as much as she could from her position sitting against the backboard of the bed, and greeted, "Greetings, Lord Death."

Author's Note

A/N: I've been asked this a couple times and I figured I might as well address it here: no, there is no prequel for this fic! The story of the pre-established relationships (Harry/Hermione/Luna/Susan/Daphne/Neliel/Scylla) will pop up as flashbacks throughout the fic, and have no correlation with a previous fic. If you must have a reference, though, assume this is your generic Harry/Harem verse, and the girls got together with him through the usual circumstances: friendship, line of succession, rescue, coincidence, series of extraordinary events, the end of the world, what have you. That said, please don't ask again. If you do, you'll just get a referral to this author's note and maybe a not-so-flattering cameo.

Now, onto other things... Twilight seems the type to have thoughts that go a million miles per hour, so I tried my best to portray that here. Did I do well? Or did I flop?

...Oh, and Shit just got real. :- )

Review!

Chapter 5: The Return of the Q & A Session (Part 3)

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

A Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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Chapter 5: The Return of the Q and A Session (Part 3)

Harry sighed at the greeting. "So you know, huh? Pity. I was hoping you'd just think me an impudent mortal. It would have been a nice change," he bemoaned half-jokingly—he knew he should be used to it, and he was to a point, but really, was it so hard to ask for SOME normality in his life? Even if it would have been a faux normality? Ah well, at least his comment disarmed them.

The elder of the two goddesses gave a good-natured chuckle. "I can relate," she said, "Sometimes I think it would be nice to just… get away from it all, even if it were only for one day."

Harry grinned, happy to find a kindred spirit. "Amen, milady," he praised, before giving her a bow deep enough to pay respect, but not enough to show deference. "I am Aspect of Death Lord Harold James Potter, of the Combined Most Ancient and Noble Houses of Potter, Black, and Peverell. But please, call me Harry."

"I am Goddess of the Sun Celestia the Life-Bringer, Princess of the Court of the Sun. You can just call me Celestia, Harry."

"And we art Goddess of the Moon Luna the Rest-Bringer, Princess of the Court of the Moon. You may call us Luna, Lord Harold."

Harry momentarily paused at the use of Elizabethan English and the "royal we," but chalked it up to a personal quirk and forged on to the more important matter.

"Err... it's just Harry, Luna. Please," he told-- almost-begged, really-- her, "Lord Harold was my grandfather, last I checked."

"B-but," Luna disagreed, obviously uneasy with the requested informality, "Thou art an Elder God, and a noble of this world. ‘Tis would be most uncouth for us to--"

"It's not uncouth if I'm asking you to," Harry said, giving her his most disarming smile in an effort to her to relax on her formality, "Besides, Celestia has no problem calling me by name, just as I have no problem calling you by name, despite both of you technically outranking me-”

"But we art not Elder Divinity! How dost we outrank you, milord?"

"If I'm reading the impression from Twilight correctly, the both of you lead Equestria in a theocratic diarchy, despite your titles of 'Princess.' I am merely a lord, hence the both of you outrank me."

"But--!"

"Harry, if I may?" Celestia interrupted. Turning to her sister, she pointed out, "Dear sister, think of it like this: he outranks us, and he has requested something of us. It would be most insulting of us if we don't honor Harry's request, no?"

Luna gave her sister an uneasy look, then looked at Harry, who ignored that little bit about him outranking the two and just shot her an encouraging smile. "...Well, if you insist... Harold," she finally conceded. Harry fought the urge to cringe and/or sigh (and growl at the feminine snickers in his head)-- "Harold" sounded so uptight, but it was better than "Lord Harold." Besides, if the suspicions brought about by his recent conversation with Twilight came to pass, he would have plenty of chances to get Luna to relax around him in the future.

"A pleasure to meet the both of you," he continued with another bow, "Are either of you hungry? You've both been unconscious for quite a while."

Celestia gave him a gracious smile. "Thank you, Harry, but I am fine. Luna?"

Luna shook her head. "We are in no need for sustenance, as well. Our thanks, though, Harold."

She had scarcely finished speaking when, as if on cue, loud, twin growls of empty stomachs sounded in the room. Harry quirked an eyebrow at the sisters in the (multi-)universal gesture for "oh, really?", causing both to duck their heads and blush in a strangely synchronized movement.

"On second thought, if we could trouble you for something to eat?" Celestia asked sheepishly.

"Excellent. Do either of you have any preferences?"

"Urm... some hay would be fine, thank you."

"The same for us as well, Harold."

Harry blinked at the strange request, before remembering the two goddesses used to be equines. "Sorry, but I don't think I can do that," he told them.

"And why not?" Luna asked, an eyebrow raised in inquiry, "Does thou not have a supply of something so simple?"

"Actually," Harry informed them, "It's because, even with your divinity, your current body isn't capable of digesting hay. In fact, eating it would, aside from muddling up your digestive system, just leave you as hungry as before you had it... more so actually, as your body will waste energy getting rid of it."

The two princesses blinked, visibly surprised. "Truly?" Luna asked, "Then what art we to sate our hunger with?"

"Well, since the both of you were equines previously, I can assume you would prefer something vegetarian?" he asked them. When both nodded, he continued, "I can always have some salad made for you both, if that is alright?"

"Like the one Twilight had?" Celestia asked, "Because that one looked rather good.”

“Alright,” Harry agreed before turning to Luna, “And for you?"

"The same for us, we think," she replied graciously.

Harry nodded and sent off a mental request to the girls, who would order from the House Elves in his stead. He was sure to specify that they could serve in person if they were so inclined, as, unlike with Twilight, the two goddesses would be more understanding of the House Elves and their nature-- with how similar Twilight was to Hermione, he suspected that she would probably throw quite a bit of a fuss if the situation were not explained to her in the correct manner, with undisputable evidence and anecdotes from the House Elves themselves. He really didn't want another S.P.E.W. fiasco, even if it was well intentioned.

While waiting for the food to arrive (which wouldn't take very long-- not only was it basic Caesar Salads, which was already simple to make, but they were being made by House Elves, which were wizards ["Heh heh... wizards." "...You're such a goof, Harry."] in the kitchen), he asked, "So, how much of the conversation with Twilight were you two awake for?" He kept his tone light to show that he wasn't accusing them of anything, but Celestia's grin was still the slightest bit sheepish at being caught eavesdropping.

"Pretty much all of it," she replied, "And I must thank you for comforting her. After everything she's been through… she needed to hear that from someone."

"We awoke sometime during thy explanation of thy species. We did not want to intrude on the conversation. It would have been most improper."

"Though it would have been fine, I nevertheless appreciate your discretion, Luna," Harry returned lightly. It was at this moment that the orders arrived via Dobby and Winky-- both dressed in butler or maid uniforms (depending on gender, obviously) and looking far different from their days working in Hogwarts, more resembling slightly smaller humans with large, pointed ears and slightly-larger-than-normal eyes, than the caricatures most House Elves looked like-- who popped in, set down some bed tables, the dishes, and some silverware, gave a polite bow, and popped away, all within seconds. Celestia and Luna's jaws were left hanging at the efficiency of the actions... before their eyes hardened as they noticed something else about the two House Elves. They both turned on Harry, who chose to preemptively respond to their reprimands.

"Yes, there's a slave contract between us," he admitted, "Unfortunately, it cannot be helped-- the House Elves-- or Gremlins, as they used to be called-- have been enslaved to wizard-kind for millennia, and over that time have evolved both a mind-set and a physiology centered around the bond. Nowadays, they are symbiotic manavores with a society that glorifies the honor of serving wizard-kind, and those that remain unbonded for any significant amount of time slowly go mad before dying. Even the most rebellious House Elf on record, Dobby-- the male House Elf that served you, incidentally--rebelled not because he was a slave, or even because his previous owner was an abusive ass-hat, but because said owner was out for my life; as soon as he was free, he bonded himself to me without me knowing, and only told me several years after he started serving me."

Both goddess visibly calmed down as his explanation continued, until both were merely upset with the situation, rather than apocalyptically furious and ready to visit righteous punishment on the House Elves' behalf, Elder God or not.

"Is there no way to free them completely?" Celestia asked, a concerned frown marring her beautiful features.

"We're working on it, but it's slow going," Harry replied with a helpless shake of his head, "Not only do we have to find a way around their dependence on the bond, but we also have to convince them to accept our aid in the first place. We've been working on it on and off for years, and will probably continuing doing so for a very long time to come."

"I see..." murmured Celestia, looking pensive, "Then I wish you the best of luck, Harry. If there is anything we may do to help, please let us know."

"My dearest sister speaks for us as well, Harold," Luna added.

"Thank you. Now, eat! Eat! We can continue our conversation while you fill your empty stomachs!"

Harry smiled as they tucked in, slowly at first, then quicker as their hunger overrode their caution and even a little of their propriety. As they ate, Harry started up the conversation again:

"So, as you've no doubt gleaned from the earlier conversation with your lovely High Priestess, I know about this Discord fellow, what he has Authority over, and, judging from the state of both of you after your altercation with him, I think I have a fair estimation of his power. Now, what I want to know is this: is he an Elder God, and will I have to worry about him following you and the girls here?"

"Discord is an Elder God, yes, but I can tell you right now that he won't be following us here," Celestia assured after swallowing a bite of salad, "For whatever reason, he is attempting to plunge our world into a state of constant Chaos, thus violating the Law of Balance. So, even if he knew we had survived his attack, he wouldn't risk coming after us for fear of reprisal."

Harry frowned grimly, "Not that his caution will do him any good. He probably didn't consider the possibility of you two meeting another deity."

Celestia and Luna stopped eating momentarily to shoot each other a look of honest confusion. "...No offense meant, Harry, but why would meeting you matter? Since Discord is of our pantheon, he is our problem, isn't he?" Celestia asked. Harry shook his head in response.

"Not quite. Aside from the fact that helping all of you free your world is the right thing to do, Discord is actively trying to upset the Balance, and that's a High Transgression-- what he's attempting to do could irrevocably damage Creation. Hence, now that I have been made aware of the situation, I am inclined to get involved and aid you both in stopping him."

Here he hesitated-- now would be the perfect time to tell them of his suspicions. But should he? On the one hand, if they proved true, it would directly affect the goddess sisters and their domain. On the other hand, though, he would just be causing needless trouble for them if the suspicions proved false. Hmm... decisions, decisions...

"You should tell them, Harry," he heard Susan say over the bond. Harry hummed in thought at her suggestion, not surprised by it in the very least: Susan, being a former Hufflepuff and the niece of the former Magical Law Enforcement Head, Amelia Bones, highly valued honesty, as dishonesty was anathema to loyalty, the cornerstone of Hufflepuff philosophy.

"I agree with Susan, Harry. I mean, you hated how Dumbledore always kept you in the dark, so why do it to someone else?" the soft mental voice of Neliel added. Again, Harry saw the answer coming-- the value Neliel placed on honesty and loyalty rivaled that of any Hufflepuff, despite being a former Gryffindor (which made one wonder: if she ended up in the House of the Brave despite exemplifying the traits of the House of the Loyal, what did that say about her true nature?)-- but he was pleasantly surprised that his shyest wife was contributing in the discussion; she usually just listened in, content to be in the background as her sister-wives made the decisions.

"Holy shite! Neliel talked!" Scylla exclaimed, half in jest, "Quick! Someone check if the Strange Eons have arrived!"

“Behave, Scylla," scolded Daphne, and all in the bond felt as the more regal of the two blondes softly smack the other upside the head, causing Scylla to yelp, "Excuse our resident jester, Harry. She meant to say that we both agree with Neliel and Susan."

Now that surprised Harry-- Scylla and Daphne, while in no way selfish, were not what one could call altruistic; Slytherins born and bred, the two made sure every action benefitted the family in some way, whether it be economical, emotional, or whatever else they could wring out of the situation. What they were suggesting this time, though, seem to have little to no benefit for either parties, as the worst outcome meant they were embarrassed while wasting the goddesses' time, and the best outcome meant the goddesses had a heads up with something that they wouldn't be able to do anything about anyway. Also, both outcomes meant Harry might potentially have to give up several of their trump cards. Just what were they planning?

"Honestly, Harry! Engage that inner Slytherin I know you have buried in you somewhere!" Daphne groaned, "If what we suspect comes to pass, you will need them to trust you with little to no hesitation, or risk going the way of some of your predecessors."

"Yeah, we don't want another Kratos Incident, do we?" Scylla added. There was a collective shiver in the Bond-- the Kratos Incident(1) was a prime example of why infighting amongst deities was a VERY BAD THING (yes, it is bad enough to warrant all capital letters).

"To facilitate that," continued Daphne, "We must show we are willing to trust them first, and what better way to do that than to willingly give up information?"

"…Well, we could always throw them a party involving massive amounts of booze. That’s a great way to build relationships,” Luna offered. There was a moment of awkward silence as everyone involved wondered if the youngest of them was kidding-- Luna got serious about the strangest of things.

“…Also, I want to snuggle in Celestia’s awesome breasts, and getting her completely wasted is my best chance for doing that without it looking awkward.”

“…No, Luna, just… no. No parties, or snuggling in the cleavage of the resident goddesses,” Harry sighed.

“How about the pink-haired ones, then? Or the blonde farm-girl-looking one? Their breasts look very snuggle-able, too.”

“Yeah, they do make you want to just... glomp on and bury your face in them, don’t they?” Scylla agreed, sending the impression of a sagely nod through the bond. Harry resisted the urge to facepalm at the decidedly vulgar turn the conversation had taken. He wasn't the only one, if the feeling he was getting from Hermione and Daphne were any indication. Susan and Neliel just "watched" on, the former amused and the latter steadily growing more embarrassed. Her embarrassment took a sudden up-turn as Luna turned her attentions to her.

"Not that we're not saying your breasts aren't incredible as well, Neliel!" Luna hurriedly assured, despite Neliel's emotions making it abundantly clear she was more mortified by the conversation than feeling left out. The girl in question squeaked in response and attempted to mentally shrink into herself (it was endearing, how she was still so shy after some of the things they’d gotten up to in the bedroom… and the living room… and the kitchen…), a feeling that could only be described as strange, as the physical action had no clear mental translation. "You have magnificent breasts, we can never deny it," Luna continued, as if the target of her “pacification” wasn’t trying her best to become mentally invisible, "But, well..."

"New boobies," Scylla finished unashamedly.

"Yes, new boobies," Luna agreed, equally unashamedly.

"Girls! Can we please get back to the topic at hand?" Hermione huffed, finally fed up with this all-too-familiar tangent—as the resident blatantly bisexual nymphomaniacs, any conversation involving both Scylla and Luna somehow always managed to devolve into talk about hot girls and the parts that made them hot. The blondes in question just gave the impression of amused grins, with Scylla also projecting a sense of smug satisfaction (despite being in the same bond and having long ago worked out most of their issues with each other-- threesomes tended to be an excellent way of working out aggressions in a [relatively] harmless manner-- the animosity from their school days never did quite disappear; rather, it had evolved into a lighthearted rivalry, complete with opposing-but-complimentary talents and interests, competitive streaks, and friendly ribbing) while Luna… started mentally humming Sir Mix-A-Lot’s “Baby Got Back.”

“While I will admit that Neliel's also got an amazing arse, I think you've got the wrong body part in mind, Luna,” Scylla said, not even bothering to hide the fact that she was purposely trying to keep the conversation on the tangent it had taken purely for her own amusement. Hermione groaned and swore to get back at the blond at a later time while Susan continue to radiate unabashed amusment. Daphne had just given up at this point and, with a long-suffering sigh, sat back to wait out the conversation, occasionally trying to comfort the ever-more-embarrassed Neliel.

“Not if you change the words around!” Luna sing-songed… then proceeded to actually sing:

“I like big breasts and I cannot lie

My other sistahs can’t deny

When Nelly walks in with that itty-bitty waist

And those round things in his face

Harry gets--”

“Okay!” Harry cut Luna off, flustered—knowing Luna, that song was about to take a very R18-turn, “Right! Earning their trust by showing we are willing to share information! Good? Bad? Other idea? And no, no parties involving alcohol!” The last comment earned a momentary pout from Luna, who, in true Luna fashion, shortly got over it and returned to softly humming “Neliel’s Got Rack.”

Hermione gave a mental “ahem.” “I, for one, agree with the general consensus: tell them, as not doing so could potentially cause a rift between our groups later on, and the situation calls for, if not complete trust, then at least enough so that they won’t automatically suspect us at the first sign of trouble.”

Harry gave a mental nod of acknowledgement. “So that’s five votes for disclosure--”

“I still say we should all just get piss-drunk. Nothing brings people together like waking up in compromising positions!”

“—And one vote for a party. Vote carried in favor of disclosure,” Harry declared, before turning his attention back to the real world. By his estimates one, maybe two seconds had passed… so why were the two sisters looking at him like that?

…Oh right: Divinity. Different perception of Creation, including perception of the different levels of Creation. Just as they had sensed the slave bond between Harry and the House Elves, they probably sensed the activity going over the Bond. Harry couldn’t believe he’d forgotten that.

Well, looks like he was going to be giving up a little more information than he’d originally thought.

“My wives and I are bonded on a spiritual level, due to a rather strange innate ability unique to me,” he explained, “Among the perks that manifested, we can communicate telepathically over the bond. What you just witnessed was a discussion about… well, first I have to know: does your pantheon have a God of Death?"

Celestia seemed confused by the non-sequitur, but nonetheless shook her head as the two continued their meal. "No," she replied, "We're still running on the automated system. Why?"

"Well... here, it would be better to show you two."

Taking a step back to give himself enough room, Harry took a deep breath… and shifted-- he fell on all fours, his limbs changed in length and width, and his clothes melted into what seemed to be coat of fur as black as his mane (still stylishly messy, though slightly longer to keep in proportion to his new form) at first glance, but on closer inspection was revealed to be translucent fur on black skin. His face elongated and grew fine black scales as a strangely knobbed horn grew from his forehead, and the emerald green of his irises bled into the surrounding scleras and, somehow, the pupils, turning them into twin glowing pools of green eldritch power. Six large feathered wings flared out from his shoulder blades, shining silver against the black of the rest of his body. In the blink of an eye, Harry was replaced with something akin, but not quite identical, to an alicorn, broad-barreled, well-muscled, and slightly taller than Celestia, with the emblem of the Deathly Hallows emblazoned on his flanks in silver. He was vaguely amused when the sisters dropped their forks in shock as their minds locked up in a mental blue screen of death, but didn't let that deter him from continuing his explanation.

"What I just did is a particular school of transfiguration magic we call 'Animagic.' In a nutshell, it allows us to transform into what we would have been if we had been born an animal. Usually the animal form is a type that is non-sentient and non-magical-- though there have been cases of magical Animagi. In our animal forms, while we retain our intelligence, we do not retain the ability to speak. It goes without saying that the form we take is a species native to this world.

"Notice that, not only am I speaking to you, but I have taken the form of a magical being that technically does not exist— tests read me as partially thestral, but thestrals usually have white eyes, draconic wings— and only one pair, at that— no horns, and look emaciated," Harry informed them, "And even if I was a true thestral, I shouldn't look like this: equines of this world have longer snouts, thinner, less flexible legs, smaller eyes, and various other physical differences. Based on these differences, I can only assumed I transformed into an equine that follows the evolutionary conventions of your world, making this form not only a magical form that does not exist in this world, but a sentient magical form that does not exist in this world.

"Also, nothing in this world has anything approaching... Cutie Marks, and my family and I had no idea why we all suddenly developed tattoos on our thighs after achieving our Animagus forms.

"Last but not least, the coup de grace: this world already had a God of Death stationed here when I ascended. As you both well know, each world only really needs one God of Death, so, by all rights, there is no reason why I should exist, yet I do."

Harry looked into the still-shocked eyes of the two goddesses. "Do you see where I'm going with this?" he asked.

"Are... are you saying you're..." Celestia choked out as her brain tried its best to reboot.

"...Thou may perchance be Gaia's God of Death?" Luna finished for her sister, also while her brain attempted a reboot.

"I think so," Harry confirmed with a nod, "I have not received any confirmations, but the evidence seems to be pointing that way."

“So thou art helping us because thou might have a stake in this?”

Harry shrugged. “One of the reasons, yes; once again, the main reason is because I could never live with myself if I refused aid where it was needed.”

“Then… I— we— thank you, Lord Death,” Celestia said, both sisters bowing as well as they could again. When they righted themselves, Celestia sported a look of mild confusion, the cause of which became clear when she asked, "But I find myself curious: why were you not born in Equestria, then? If you were meant to join our pantheon and have a pony form, wouldn't it stand to reason that you would initially be an Equestrian or, at the very least, a Gaian?"

"I have no answer for you-- like I said before, I have not yet received any confirmation from Above," Harry replied, "For all we know, I could be horribly off the mark, and have just made a fool of myself." The last statement was said with a lopsided grin, earning small, amused grins (and, oddly enough, tiny blushes... why were his girls giggling?) from the two goddesses... who both promptly yawned in synch. Luna's yawn in particular earned coos of adoration from the girls observing from within the Bond, and Harry could see why: with her petite, almost child-like features, the action had been utterly adorable

“I think this will be enough for today,” he decided as shifted back into his base form and sent another message to his wives. Within moments Dobby and Winky popped into existence besides the goddesses, picked up the now-empty dishes, unneeded cutlery, and bed tables, and vanished back to the kitchen. Both sisters were still awed by the efficiency, though it was now tempered by the knowledge of the slave bond. “Get some rest, ladies,” he continued, “Judging by the fact that Ms. Sparkle woke up today, I can assume that your other priestesses will be awakening soon, most likely tomorrow.”

“Will you be informing us if they do?” Celestia asked. Harry nodded in reply.

“Of course. They are your priestesses, after all. Bad form if I don’t, don’t you think?”

“Thank you, Harry.”

Harry just nodded again, this time in acknowledgement of her gratitude, and was about to bid them good night when he noticed Celestia looking like she was thinking about adding something. Noticing he was looking at her, she seem to come to a decision and said, “I feel I should tell you: Twilight and her friends are only our priestesses on a technicality, and I never told them about it.”

Harry quirked an eyebrow in surprise, having not expected something like this. “May I ask why?”

“Equestria doesn’t have a religious institution, as neither we nor our mother saw the point of forming one— there was never any restrictions for Divine-Mortal interactions laid on our pantheon, and since we’re of the newer generations, we have no need for the prayers of mortals,” she explained with a shrug, “As it is, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony are only our priestesses because they are loyal to us, and each wield an artifact created from our power.”

“And as far as the rules are concerned, that means they were blessed by the both of you, and have sworn an oath of loyalty and devotion in return,” Harry summed up, “That’s would be good to know, but why tell me this?”

Celestia gave him a smile, and he suddenly got the feeling she was entertaining a very amusing thought. “While it wouldn’t matter to me either way if they found out, as I was never actively hiding it from them, I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t make the best first impression if you suddenly upped and called them my priestesses. They might wonder if you were right in the head—something I’m fairly certain would not be good for future relations between us.”

Harry chuckled as he realized just what had been amusing the goddess earlier: the thought of the six mortal girls giving him strange looks during the awkward silence of a botched introduction was definitely amusing, he had to admit, if daunting—it was like something from a sitcom, or one of those comedic anime Scylla and Luna liked watching so much.

…Oh right, THAT’S where Luna got her laugh.

A mental shake of the head to rid himself of the tangent, Harry chuckled and replied, “Then my thanks for the warning, ladies. Now, rest. I have a feeling tomorrow will be a long day.”

The two goddesses complied, and Harry helped them settle their injured forms back into their beds. One last check on Twilight (and a monitoring charm, to inform him of when she tried to leave the bed), a bid goodnight, and he turned off the lights and left the room, planning on heading to bed himself.

…Though he had a feeling he wouldn’t be getting much sleep: he still had to make it up to Hermione for not getting that info on Equestrian weather magic, and, well… let’s just say that it wasn’t always the quiet ones—the brainy ones could get pretty wild, too. Also, she had promised retribution on Scylla for egging Luna on earlier. Perhaps she would like his help in giving the blonde an appropriate punishment…?

Author's Note

A/N: …Sigh. This chapter was hell. As it is, I’m not quite sure I’m happy with it, but I’m also not quite sure how to improve it, either. Damn Celestia… why did you have to be so hard to write for?! Everything I wrote for her either came off too informal or too trollish for a non-Trollestia Celestia, so I ended erasing and rewriting several sections multiple times. Tack on the fact that I recently got a job, and you have the reason behind my near-one month of no posts. Argh…

But look on the bright side: God of War reference and a “Baby Got Back” parody! That makes up for the late update, right? Right?

Also, many thanks to Delta Shock for pre-reading this chapter! If anyone else would like to as well, leave a note in the comments section!

(1)The Kratos Incident: began with the infamous War God Ares being killed and usurped by a Spartan warrior he had betrayed named Kratos, and ended with the near-complete annihilation of the Olympian pantheon. Only three major deities were known to have survived: Aphrodite, who eventually left Greece to travel the world as a courtesan and, with the advent of the modern era and the age of free love, a sexologist of renown; Athena, who went mad at the end of the Incident and had to eventually be put down after attempting to take the concept of "hope" from mankind; and Kratos himself, who dropped off the face of the earth and was not heard from again until very recently-- he was found writing the screenplay for a video game based on his own exploits, having mostly abandoned his Mantle and taken to living under the guise of a fairly normal game designer that focused on the violent, M-rated stuff.

Interlude: Missions

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

A Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: I don't own blah blah blah... seriously, we all know who owns HP and MLP. Do I really have to continue to rehash it?

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Interlude: Missions

Discord remembered an old Chinese saying he’d heard, once upon a time: “May you live in interesting times.”

As far as he was concerned, it was just more confirmation that China (not to be confused with Chi-ma, China’s Gaian counterpart) was a shitty country full of assholes.

He had to admit, though: the saying had provided the perfect cover for him. The first time around, all he’d had to do was tell Tia-hime and Luna-chibi that he wanted to make the world a more interesting place, and they’d let their Onii-chan continue with his “pranks” until it was nearly too late. Hell, he was relatively sure they still didn’t know it was never about messing with their beloved subjects; they probably still thought he was causing chaos because he wanted to bring about some “interesting times,” and had a seriously skewed sense of what was appropriate or not.

He sighed, and not for the first time found himself wondering: how had it come to this? His creed, his duty, had always been to protect those that needed his protection. Even after all he’d gone through, even after his death and ascension, that was the one thing that remained unchanged about him, the pillar upon which his very self had been built. His was the soul of the guardian, the shield that stood between those that would harm the innocent.

Yet, he had struck down and (however inadvertently) banished the guardians of this world, and was now putting those he had sworn to protect through unimaginable suffering as he twisted them, and the world around them, on a metaphysical level. He had become as monstrous inside as he appeared outside, the enemy he had always stood against.

But… it was for a good cause, right? This… this was justice; he was just taking what he was owed, what Creation owed him a hundred times over. This was him telling those in charge that he’d had it with them. Bad enough they’d taken everything from him when he was mortal, bad enough that he’d died disgraced by his family, abandoned by his friends, and hunted by some backwater tribe of Nazi-feminist, but this…?

He’d been content to let bygones be bygones when he’d woken up and found himself on Gaia, in the company of two of the kindest, gentlest souls he ever had the pleasure of meeting. He’d thought that the universe was finally making it up to him-- that, despite his new appearance, he would have the chance to find true friends, family, and maybe, just maybe, honest-to-goodness, no-strings-attached, for-once-their-meeting-wasn’t-a-direct-result-of-his-greedy-ex-father, LOVE. For the first time since he was sixteen, he’d been honestly happy with his station in life.

But then the visions came, and he was shown the truth: this second life wasn’t a reward, it was Hell, merely the dangling of a bone he could never have, held by childish bullies that delighted in his suffering. This was just the latest in a long line of cruel jokes from the Fates: so close to finally having something that had been denied to him by everyone he’d ever known, something that those far less deserving had been given nearly free of charge… and he’d been told he couldn’t have it.

What right did they have to do that?! What fucking right did they have to deny him this?! Well, fuck them! Fuck all of them! They thought just because they had power, that they were gods, they could deny him one of the most essential rights of all sentients? No… enough was enough. He wasn’t going to-- didn’t have to-- stand for this anymore; he had to power to do something about it, now, and damn it if he wasn’t going to use it. Fuck the rules. Fuck the Balance. Creation owed him, God damn it, and if it wasn’t going to willingly give him what was his by right, then he would make it give it to him.

And so, as Discord sat back on his reformed throne in the center of the warped Ponyville, his eyes locked on where the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and the Royal Sisters had been defeated and banished into the ether (they were merely banished! He refused to believe his imouto were dead! He refused!), he reaffirmed his conviction:

He would have what was owed to him, even if it required him to turn his back on his Divine Duty and strike down those he loved most. It would be worth it, in the end-- when he had gotten what he wanted, he would fix everything. Nobody would ever know what he’d done.

Because he was going to break this world… break it, and remake it in his own image.

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Harry stood upon the balcony of the Master Bedroom, gazing out into the warm summer night. Inside the room behind him, on a bed of ridiculous proportions, laid his wives, all of them nude and sleeping of the exhaustion brought about by that night’s activities. Hermione, Daphne, and Scylla, in particular, were sporting the type of big, silly, blissed-out grins only the thoroughly loved could manage-- the former two, with Daphne being added last minute due to her plan for gaining Celestia’s trust succeeding, had been the main targets of Harry’s affections for a good portion of the night (not that he neglected anyone else, just that they received the brunt of his attention), while the latter had been subjected to the deliciously pleasurable torture only those who were intimately familiar with one's buttons could inflict.

…Come to think of it… he might have overdone it with the three of them. If previous experience was any indication, they would be walking bowlegged tomorrow, and Scylla might not recover all of her mental faculties until the afternoon—when Hermione finally allowed her to fall over the edge, the orgasm that had resulted had been the very definition of “mind-blowing,” rebounding in the Bond and feeding off each subsequent orgasm it triggered until near everyone had blacked out from the overwhelming pleasure. Only he’d been able to stay awake thanks to his Divine constitution, and even then it had been a near thing.

He chuckled. Damn… three of his guests finally woke up, he gained three new allies in those same guest, he might be earning the trust of one of his future co-workers (if he was reading Celestia giving him information of her own free will correctly), and all of that topped off with a night of incredible love-making… he had to admit, today had been GOOD, all letters capitalized, italicized, and bolded.

Harry blinked as he registered the sounds of a Hallelujah Chorus ringtone coming form the pockets of his pajama pants… which was strange, as, not only did he not have the song downloaded onto his phone, much less assigned as a ringtone to any of his contacts, but he’d left it on the cabinet beside his bed. Instantly on edge, he cautiously pulled out his phone to check the caller ID… and just as quickly relaxed when he found the screen lit up with four Hebrew letters: יהוה. Well, that explained the ringtone that shouldn’t be there, as well as how his phone had traveled across the room without him noticing. Without further ado, he flipped the phone open to answer the literal call from God.

“…”

“And a good evening to you as well, My Liege.”

“…”

“As well as expected, My Liege. I am happily married, and the sheep of England have not bothered me here in France. All I need are children to love and cherish, and my life will be complete.”

“…”

“Truly? Forgive my impetuousness, but why now?”

“…”

“…So it is true then? I am to become the Death God of Gaia?”

“…”

“…I see. And what of Discord?”

“…”

“…My Liege?”

“…”

“I-I see… If that is your command, then Your Will shall be done.”

“…”

“Thank You, My Liege.”

“…”

“Yes, until next time.”

The phone hanged up from the other side, and Harry slipped his cell back into his pocket. Two slim arms hugged him from behind, and he relaxed into the embrace, the Bond and his own senses telling him it was Luna.

“What did He say?” she asked, her hands running lightly along his chest and abs. Harry could feel her naked breasts pressing into his unclothed back, and he suppressed a shiver of desire; just an hour prior, those breasts had been thrust up as she arched her back in ecstasy, her hot, velvety sheath rippling and squeezing around him--

Ahem. Right. She'd asked him a question. Answer now-- business before pleasure, and all that rot. He could perv later.

“It is as we expected," he told her, "I am to be stationed on Gaia."

“And the Elder Chaos God?” Her hands were drifting lower, and Harry suppressed another shiver-- randy minx! How was he supposed to put business before pleasure when she was teasing him so?

“We… when the time comes, we are to aid in his defeat,” he replied, before changing the subject and leaving the true meaning of his words unvoiced-- not hard, considering what she was obviously more interested in, if only just slightly, “Now, shall we retire back to our bed, milady?”

His breath hitched as Luna’s cool hands found their goal and began stroking. Despite the activities of the past several hours, he quickly found himself erect and hard enough to drive nails into hardwood.

"You know, it's a full moon out tonight," Luna said in a breathy, sultry whisper, "let's enjoy it."

She nipped at his earlobe, and he took that as his signal-- business was over, time for pleasure. With a lustful growl he stepped out of her embrace and pulled her in front of him, taking a moment to admire her beauty: her alabaster skin glowed in the moonlight, giving her an ethereal air, and she was willowy, with high, perky breasts topped with pink nipples, small hips, and shapely legs. Her long, pale-blond hair-- almost silver in the light of the moon-- big silvery-blue eyes, and cute button nose had many describing her as "fae-like," but Harry knew better; her... Cutie Mark-- a sword of silver flames, wrapped in a pair of white wings and topped with a halo-- as well as the silver-white wings tattooed on her back, marked her as something far greater than the fairies: she was, literally, angelic, one who was descended of the Celestials.

He closed in and gave her a kiss infused with all of the love, lust, and passion he felt for her, leaving her breathless and panting when he released her lips. Kisses and nips traced a trail of fire down her neck and to the hollow of her throat, teasing out mewls and sighs of pleasure. Harry felt her dainty hands return south to tug at his pants, and one of his own reached up to cup and caress a pale breast, just short of a handful for him. His other hand had a similar idea as hers, and Luna shortly gasped and moaned as she felt familiar fingers stroke her most sacred of places.

Harry stopped nipping at a particularly sensitive spot long enough to whisper into her ear, "If that is your wish, my angel, than it is my command." He then pushed her up against the balcony's railing, and the two proceeded to make love beneath the moon's soft, ethereal glow, both letting the moment temporarily push away the knowledge of their newest-- and perhaps final, due to the risks involved-- mission:

For his crimes against Gaia, and the threat he poses to Creation...

...Discord, the Elder God of Chaos and Disharmony, must die.

Author's Note

A/N: A peek into Discord’s mind. Let’s see if you can guess who Discord used to be. :-)

Also: before anyone gets on my case about it-- I'm Chinese. What's more, I'm full-blooded Chinese. So obviously, I'm not hating on the Chinese in this chapter. Discord just has had very unfortunate prior dealings with them. So, seriously, take it as it is: a clue to who Discord was.

Also-Also: ...And now you know why I changed the rating to Mature. A H-scene, for all you pervs out there. >;-P

Chapter 6: Rise and Shine, Part I-- Heart to Heart

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

A Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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Chapter 6: Rise and Shine, Part I-- Heart to Heart

"Twilight..."

...Who was that?

"Wake up, Twilight..."

That voice... it sounded... familiar. And male. Spike? No, too deep. Donut Joe? Different accent. Shining? Did he finally get some time off from his Head Guard duties? No, wait... the voice wasn't calling her "Twily"... and completely different accent. Again. A Royal Guard? Why would they be waking her up? Spike would never let them do his job. Er... what other males did she know?

...Wow. She knew the female-male gender ratio in Equestria was a tad bit skewed towards mares, but really? This was all the males she was in regular contact with? No wonder she didn’t have a coltfriend…

"Rise and shine! Time for brekkers!"

Brekkers? What the hay was brekkers? Was that even a-- sniff sniff. Was that coffee she smelled? Oooo... coffee! Twily need coffee...

And so, fueled by the promise of that greatest of caffeinated ambrosias the Queen Mother Gaia blessed Equestria with, Twilight finally forced herself into the waking world.

"~Munya..." she groaned, wiping away at the sleep-stuff gluing her eyes shut. When she was coherent enough to take in her surroundings, she quickly noticed several things:

Observation #1: There was no coffee waiting. It was a trap.

Corollary to observation #1: Whoever was evil enough to do something so cruel, so vile, so... so EVIL (all letters capitalized, bolded, italicized, and whatever else needed for emphasis, because such an evil act needed such emphasis) as to get her hopes up in such a way, was going to pay. Dearly. Via a Magic Missile up the plothole.

Observation #2: She was on a surprisingly comfortable cot. Strange, because she didn’t remember getting into a cot last night. In fact, she didn’t even remember leaving the Princesses’ room…

…Oh. That was probably because-- observation #3-- she was still in the Princesses’ room, apparently. But she was certain it didn’t have a cot the night prior, and she didn’t remember seeing one brought in before she fell asleep. She also didn’t remember waking up at anytime to get into the cot, either under her own power or with help. Did she sleep through being moved? Possible, given the events of the last twenty-four hours, but she was a relatively light sleeper, so a jostle of that magnitude should have woken her up, life-changing events or not. Perhaps she had, indeed, woken up, but simply forgot? Also possible, and it had happened before… so did that mean someone had brought in the cot while she was asleep, then put her in it? If so, who? And, now that she thought about it, what happened to that chair she’d been sitting on? There was still plenty of space in the room, so removing it shouldn’t have been necessary…

Actually, the more important question was: why was she in the Princesses’ room in the first place? She remembered being led to the room by that nice woman-- Susan, if she remembered correctly-- checking on the Princesses, then… oh right. She had fallen asleep while talking to Har--

"How are you this fine morn, Twilight?"

Her head whipped towards the source of the voice so fast she actually developed a crick in her neck. She found there observation #4: Harry, casually leaning against the wall, sporting a white polo shirt and a pair of pants made of some kind of blue fabric she'd never seen before.

A small part of her mind noted that he had his ma--hair tied low, and that it was a good look for him.

Another small part, where she’d regulated the caffeine addicted part of her, noted the steaming cup in his hands, and made a correction to observation #1: it HADN’T been a trap… probably-- Harry didn’t seem the type to evilly taunt her with glorious, glorious coffee, but one never knew…

The majority of her mind, though, was preoccupied with something a little more pressing.

"Oh gosh! Harry! I’m sorry for falling asleep last night! Usually I’m not that rude! I don’t know what happened--” She was interrupted by Harry’s amused chuckles, as well as a feminine giggle that was decidedly familiar.

“My, my, is she always so… high strung?” Harry asked someone behind her.

“Unfortunately, yes,” the giggler answered, her tone tinged with good humor, “I’ve tried to get her to relax and enjoy life more, but she seems bent on giving herself premature gray hairs. Oh, woe is me, to be saddled with such a student.”

Twilight felt her heart skip a beat-- she recognized that voice. It was one that was quite dear to her, the voice of her beloved mentor and ruler. But if she was speaking, then that meant…

Hoping that this wasn’t some sort of hallucination, that she would find the Princess awake and smiling, not unconscious and so… so frighteningly helpless, she turned around… and gasped softly, her breath stolen at the sight that greeted her: on the bed was Princess Celestia, still bandaged but sitting upright and giving her a gentle smile. A sunbeam streamed in from a nearby window, bathing the Princess in a gentle, golden glow.

It was… beautiful.

And that was when she knew: her Princess was going to be alright. Everything was going to be alright. Everything… her vision began to blur, and Twilight only had time to realize she was crying before her body was moving on its own; she was barely aware of throwing herself onto her beloved mentor, instinctively avoiding the bandages wounds. Tears ran unbidden down her cheeks as she held onto the Princess like one drowning would a life preserver, the last few days finally taking their toll on her. Dimly, she could feel Princess Celestia returning her desperate hug, a hand rubbing her back soothingly while words of comfort were gently whispered in her ear. The response just made her weep harder, serving to magnify the main emotions currently dominating her tumultuous psyche: guilt that her Princess would still care for a wretched failure such as her, sorrow for all those they had left behind in the demented grasp of Discord, and relieved joy that, despite everything, her Princess was still alive, and healing, and… and…

…And everything was going to be alright.

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Harry looked on as two of his guests had their tearful reunion. He couldn’t help but smile at the touching scene-- one could almost see the weight lift off of Twilight’s shoulders as she cried her heart out, and Celestia looked just as relieved to be able to hold her student and… err, what else were they to each other, exactly? Celestia already said Twilight was a priestess only by a technicality, but their interactions with each other pointed at a relationship far closer than just the student-mentor relationship Celestia claimed. They weren’t so close as to be lovers, that much he could tell-- although he wouldn’t be surprised if Twilight might be harboring some repressed attraction-- so… a confidant, then? Was Twilight a confidant of some sort as well as Celestia’s student? Or perhaps a hand-- hoof?-- maiden? Hmm… note to self: ask later, if for no other reason than to preemptively avoid awkward moments.

Something in his peripheral vision caught his attention, and he turned to see Luna-- Princess Luna, not his Luna-- watching her sister (elder sister? Probably, judging by their respective appearances and their interactions last night. Better ask later, just to be sure) and Twilight while sporting a rather strange expression. It was as if she couldn’t decide whether she should be happy, or… Harry couldn’t tell what else. It was a darker emotion, though, that he was sure of. Jealousy, perhaps?

“Um… you could always ask her…?” Neliel meekly suggested, pleasantly surprising Harry with her initiative-- twice in one week? Perhaps Scylla had the right notion about watching for the Strange Eons...

“Oooo! How enterprising of you, Nel!” Daphne said with a slightly teasing tone, “Digging for information while enduring her to us with a show of concern! We might just make a Slytherin out of you yet!”

“No-- what-- I-- wait-- I mean-- that wasn’t--!” Neliel squeaked in embarrassment, her thoughts a jumbled mess as she instinctively tried to backtrack. Harry almost chuckled out loud as the bond rang with mental giggles, including Neliel after she had realized Daphne was just messing with her.

“Don’t you ever change, Nel,” Luna-- again, his Luna, not Princess Luna… that’s going to get confusing really quickly-- fondly said. There was an impression of a small, sheepish smile from Neliel in return, followed by a cute squeal in the real world as everyone (with the exception of Scylla-- she was still unconscious from the “punishment” Hermione had visited upon her the night before) gave her a mental snuggle. After a moment of shocked silence, Harry and the girls promptly took a mental note of the unexpected results-- who would have thought the simultaneous mental snuggles from five minds would turn a normally comfortingly intimate sensation into a small but sudden orgasm?

Harry came back to the real world grinning slightly at what they’d done to his shyest wife. As always, only a moment-- a second-- had passed, meaning Celestia was still comforting a crying Twilight and Luna was still looking at the scene with what Harry was now fairly certain was jealousy. Taking Neliel’s suggestion to heart-- not because of the points Daphne made, legitimate as they were, but simply because Luna looked like she needed to get whatever was bothering her off her chest-- he sidled up to the petite goddess.

“Is something the matter, Luna?” he asked. Luna jumped ever so slightly, but collected herself before her surprise became too obvious. Harry and Daphne-- watching through Harry’s eyes from within the bond-- were impressed by her control, though not surprised; she was royalty, so of course she would have exemplary control over her emotions, if for no other reason than to make sure the nobles under her had nothing that could possibly be used for blackmail.

“There is nothing wrong,” she replied, turning to him, “Why dost thou ask?” Harry felt that familiar, indescribable feeling he got when someone lied to him, and noted that his lie-dar (which wasn’t an instinct, but an actual power inherent in him as an Aspect of Death) apparently worked on divinity, too. Good to know, that.

“Milady, you know what I am, what aspect of Creation I represent,” he lightly admonished, “I am, for all intents and purposes, Death, and in death all things are made clear. Unless I allow it, few things can hide from me… and mere lies, even if uttered by a goddess of the night, are not one of those things.”

Luna turned away from him, chastened, and returned to watching Celestia and Twilight. There was an awkward moment as both watched the touching scene play out before them. Harry was about to back down and try again some other time when she broke the silence:

“We… we know we should be happy for our sister and her student, and in truth we are. We do not begrudge Twilight Sparkle the comfort of our sister, as we can only imagine the toll the recent events have taken on her, and it is only right that our dearest sister should hold the closest she has to a daughter during her time of need.”

“I’m sensing a ‘but’ here… are you jealous, Luna?” Harry hedged. Luna looked down in shame.

“We know ‘tis wrong to feel as such, but we cannot help it; logically, we know Twilight Sparkle hath no reason to come to us for comfort, we know that she will always be infinitely closer to our sister than to ourselves, and we know that our sister did not make it such to spite me. But, despite this, somewhere in the darkest reaches of our heart, in the places where Nightmare Moon was born, something whispers that ‘tis should have been us who Twilight Sparkle-- nay, not just the bearer of the Element of Magic, but all ponies-- approached for comfort in her time of turmoil, ‘tis should have been us who had such a devoted and loving student… and it whispers that this is not so due to machinations of our sister, that our sister lets dark rumors spread amongst the ponies, so that they will always distrust us, and turn to her for guidance…

“’Tis times like these, that, no matter how much we know we shouldn’t, no matter how much we tell ourselves that we love our sister with all our heart… ‘tis times like these, when we think… we think we may loath our sister.”

Luna turned back to Harry, and he felt his heart go out to her as emerald met shimmering, tearful turquoise. A tear slid down her cheek as she asked with a desperation that tore at him, “W-what is wrong with us, Harold? We are in dire straits, stranded in a land not our own, in bodies not our own, and yet jealousy and resentment still plagues us… how can w-we-- are we truly so despicable? Are our subjects correct to fear us so?”

All was silent in the bond as they all tried to come to grips with what they’d just heard. When Harry had approached Luna, it had merely been with the intention of letting her vent a little. What had just happened… Luna had more or less bared her soul to him and-- through the bond he knew she was aware of-- the rest of his family.

He could feel the stirrings of panic within him-- he couldn’t deal with this! Abusive childhood? Whatever. Psychotic villains of all shapes and sizes? Been there, done that, didn’t even get a t-shirt. Raving hordes of sheeple? Watch him not care. Smarmy politicians? Oh look! Seems he’s run out of fucks to give. Hell, he was even good with children of most temperaments, if the few times he’d had to interact with some were any indication. But a distraught young woman inexplicably seeking comfort from him? Cue panic.

“Ladies? A little help, please?” Harry begged within the bond. Much to his consternation, all he got were giggles in response. Grr… sadists, the lot of them!

“Well, how would you react if that was one of us?” asked Susan. Harry thought about how exactly he went about getting one of his girls out of a slump during the rare times any of them fell into a depression... and promptly blushed-- it usually involved lots of kissing, and stroking, and caressing, and licking, and... well, let's just say it wouldn't have been appropriate for the given situation.

“I… don’t think that would be appropriate,” he said, which resulted in a fresh wave of giggling.

“Aw… why not?” Luna pouted, “I mean, it works, doesn’t it? And she’s so adorable! I just want to hug her and snuggle her and taste her-- ow!”

“Down girl,” Susan chastened, lightly bopping the blond on the head in the real world. The blonde’s return pout was not very effective, and Susan turned her attention back to Harry.

“Before you bonded us, Harry,” Susan said, “What did you do before you could just love the depression out of us?”

“Well… nothing spectacular, really. I would just be there for you girls when you needed it.”

Susan nodded and smiled. “And that’s all you need to do: show that she’s not talking to a wall.”

With a chorus of agreements from the rest of his (awake) wives, Harry came back to the real world. He immediately went through with Susan’s suggestion, giving Luna as warm and comforting a smile as he could manage and laying a reassuring hand on the petite princess’s shoulder. The slowly creeping blush Luna developed upon seeing his smile went completely unnoticed by Harry, though not by those watching from within the bond-- the sight of Harry unknowingly beginning the process of seducing another girl just by being himself brought about titters and bets on just when she would fall to his charm. Luna, as an Order-aligned Seer, was naturally forbidden from joining in the betting, much to her chagrin.

“By the sounds of things, you have gone through a lot,” Harry began, “and I… I cannot say I know how you must feel, but I can tell you one thing with certainty:

“It WILL get better.

“Your… ponies may shun you now, but they won’t forever; I don’t know what this ‘Nightmare Moon’ business is-- and we will be having a little chat about that soon, milady, if for no other reasons than because we need to know how to deal with it if it followed you to this universe-- but your subjects will eventually forget its existence. Instead, they will know tales of your benevolence, of your wisdom… they will know YOU, not this ‘Nightmare Moon,’ and they will love you as much as they love your sister. Sure, it may take years, decades, even centuries, but it will happen, eventually, of that you can be assured.

“And as for feeling jealous of your sister? Well, it just means that you’re not so far removed from mortals that you can’t relate to them. Personally, I think that’s a good thing, as long as you treat the emotion as any good-hearted, level-headed mortal would and act on it in a benevolent way-- too often do we deities distance ourselves from the mortals we are supposed to care for, to the point where we can no longer consider their wellbeing in our actions.”

“He’s right, Luna,” Celestia said suddenly, sitting next to the shocked Luna and enveloping her in a gentle one-armed hug. Harry blinked in confusion, looking alternately between Celestia and her now-vacated bed-- how had she snuck up on him like that? Judging by how the arm not hugging Luna was just now retreating from its place around Twilight’s shoulder, she’d been semi-carried over from her bed, which should have made some kind of noise, so how…?

“Woah… ninja,” his Luna whispered in the bond. Her (awake) sister-wives simultaneously and silently nodded, all of them impressed-- that was some skill right there, especially for a sun deity, who were, as a rule, never all that… subtle.

“Our little ponies will eventually see you as you truly are:” Celestia continued, completely unaware of the impression she’d just made on (most) of her hosts, “You are Princess Luna, Goddess of the Moon and the Night, she who brings sleep to the restless and dreams to the hopeless… and most importantly, you are Luna, my kind, compassionate, beautiful baby sister, who is my equal in all things.” She ended her heartfelt speech by nuzzling Luna’s hair.

Luna, in turn, seemed to have been frozen by her sister’s words, staring blankly into space as Celestia continued to hold her. She then blinked, and then blinked again in a visible attempt to wrap her mind around what she’d just heard. It took her a moment, but when she did, the tears appearing at the corner of her eyes was the only warning she gave before she wrapped her arms around Celestia in an almost desperate hug, burying her face in her sister’s bosom. Soon muffled sobs could be heard, and Harry moved next to a teary-eyed Twilight to give them their privacy.

“So… what’s this ‘Nightmare Moon’ thing Luna was talking about?” he asked in a whisper, figuring that, since it looked like Celestia and Luna’s warm and fuzzy sisterly moment might take a while, he might as well use the time to gather some more information.

Twilight turned her attention to him, and her still-teary eyes shifted uneasily. “Um… I’m not sure I should be telling anypo-err, anyone about it,” she whispered back, “I mean, the tale of her rebellion against, and subsequent defeat and exile at the hooves of Princess Celestia is common knowledge in Equestria, seeing as how parents often use Nightmare Moon’s story to scare their colts and fillies into behaving, but-- erk!” Twilight’s hands flew to her mouth in an attempt to silence herself, but it was too late as Harry-- and the mental gestalt that was the Bond-- was able to put together most of the pieces just from her little ramble.

“So… Nightmare Moon was either an entity who was created by Luna, or Luna herself corrupted by something?” Harry inquired, an eyebrow quirked partly in question, and partly as if saying “you’ve already told me this much, you might was well continue.” Twilight groaned and turned her self-silencing gesture into a face-palm.

“Any chance you could just let it go?” she begged. Harry just gave her a look that clearly stated his answer, and she groaned again.

“Me and my big mouth,” she muttered to herself, before turning to Harry. “Alright, fine. According to the history books, and confirmed by Princess Celestia, approximately a thousand years ago…”

As Harry was being regaled with the Tale of Nightmare Moon, he noticed through the bond that, one by one, his wives were turning their attention to the outside world. “Is something the matter, girls?” he asked.

“Oh, nothing you have to worry about,” Susan soothed, “The monitoring charms on our other guests are registering increased brain activity and elevated heart rates, so we’re on our way to their rooms now to greet them.”

“Ah, I see. In that case, remember to bring them to the dining room after you’ve got them dressed and such,” he reminded them, “And, though I’m certain our guests won’t warrant such a warning… you girls stay safe, alright?”

“Will do, Harry!” came their reply.

Harry smiled as he turned his attention back to Twilight, feeling the anticipation coming from his girls resonating with his own.
It looked like the rest of his guests were finally waking up.

Author's Note

A/N: Three. Months. It took me three BUCKING months to finish this chapter. All I can do is get on bended knee and apologize, so… I’m sorry, people. I’m so truly, deeply sorry that it took me this long to finish. I am truly, deeply sorry that I let the likes of SCP, Rage of Bahamut, and Eternity Warriors 2 distract me. For being so weak, I am scum.

…Yes, I know I am laying it on a bit thick. So sue me. I really have no excuse for taking so long other than being distracted by the newest shiny, which, in order, were Rage of Bahamut, SCP, Eureka, and Eternity Warriors 2.

…Though, to be fair: SCP and Eureka are addicting, damn it, and EW2? SO much better than the first one, even as a first release. :-)

Also, two notes:

1) I was actually planning on getting to the rest of the Mane 6 this chapter, but, as you can see, the chapter got away from me, especially poor Luna’s little breakdown… which brings me to…

2) Yes, I am quite aware that Luna poured her heart out to Harry a little too soon, and yes, I am aware that it’s strange Celestia and Luna are only having their heart-to-heart now, nearly a year after Nightmare Moon. Both points were intended, and will be covered soon. So, please, don’t do ranting on and on about it, or what not.

...Oh, and yes, Twilight goes "~Munya" when waking up, because she's adorkable like that. Deal with it.

Prologue: Defeat

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Summary: Takes place at the end of Episode 2, Season 2: The Return of Harmony (Part 2). The confrontation with Discord does not go as planned, and all hope seems lost as the only ones that could defeat him fall to his might. Meanwhile, in another world, a familiar young man finds eight unconscious young women near his home. They're naked except for various accessories, have hair colors he's never seen before, and all of them have the strangest tattoos on their hips… God!Harry HarryXHarem

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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Prologue: Defeat

It started with the second confrontation between the wielders of the Elements of Harmony and Discord. Discord had levitated Applejack up to himself to mock-examine the Element of Honesty, telling her that lying to him was useless, as he was the one who made her a liar in the first place.

Now, in some other time, in some other place, he would have continued on to levitate the other Elements of Harmony to him while reciting his obligatory villain monologue, only to be interrupted by Twilight Sparkle as she teleported in amongst her friends, raised a bubble shield between them and the Draconeques, and floated them to safety. From there, Twilight would have made the equally obligatory heroically defiant speech, the six of them would have blasted Discord with a Harmonic-Magic-powered Magic Missile spell, and it would have scored a clean, game-deciding hit due to Discord not realizing his influence over them had been broken until it was too late. Discord would have been re-petrified, Ponyville would have been restored, the day would have been saved, and Twilight would go on to have a temporary nervous breakdown over being tardy with her weekly Friendship Report.

But in THIS time, and in THIS place, Discord noticed something was wrong with Applejack as he mock-examined her Element. Levitating the other Elements to himself, he immediately realized that his hold over them had been broken. And so, when the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony tried to blast him back into a garden decoration, he was able to raise a defense in time, preventing his defeat and making him much more weary of the six, seemingly harmless ponies before him.

From there, it all went downhill.

On hindsight, it was a miracle that the ponies were able to even survive the first several seconds after their attack failed, as Discord had immediately dropped all pretenses and begun some serious spell casting, his earlier playfulness quickly fading. Twilight Sparkle, on realizing that she and her friends had failed again, and had possibly pissed off a being even their goddesses had had trouble with, had instinctively reapplied her bubble shield, just in time to block what appeared to be a very large, very pointy icicle of chocolate milk. After weathering an onslaught of decreasingly playful and increasingly Lovecoltian attacks, she had attempted another Harmonic Magic Missile… only to realize a critical flaw in the Elements of Harmony.

While the Elements of Harmony were arguably THE most powerful force of magic in Equestria, they were cumbersome for mortal ponies to wield: five ponies had to channel trust-based magic into a sixth one simultaneously, while the sixth one aimed and fired what was essentially the magical version of a fire-pony's hose at full throttle. There was no finesse, not control… the caster was essentially committed to whatever spell was cast, and would need some time to switch spells if such was called for.

Meanwhile, Discord, being a Draconeques and an Elder God, had supernatural adaptability and reflexes, a mind-boggling array of magicks, and a mane-na pool that surpassed even those of the Princesses Celestia and Luna at his disposal. Not only that, but his mantle as the Spirit of Disharmony and Chaos manifested as an ability to warp reality with insane ease, his very Presence overpowering the laws of nature.

Since she was channeling the Harmonic Magic into a Bubble Shield spell, she found that she couldn't send another attack at Discord without first lowering her shield, which would pretty much have guaranteed their deaths with the amount of raw, seething magic Discord was throwing at them. She couldn't ask the only other unicorn in their group, Rarity, to attack for her, either, as she was busy being a magical conduit… not that it would have done much even if Rarity had been able to attack-- her "Special Talent" automatically precluded knowledge of attack spells, even one as relatively simple as the Magic Missile. For all intents and purposes, it seemed like they were doomed, Discord's increasingly disturbing magic quickly and steadily chipping away at the shield the rapidly tiring Twilight was keeping up.

Then, salvation seemed to come in the forms of Princesses Celestia and Luna, the two princess-goddesses teleporting in and immediately raining blasts of light and darkness on the Draconeques. It was not a moment too soon, as Twilight had been on her last legs. As soon as Discord had turned his attention away from her to deal with his old adversaries, she had dropped the shield and, after a very brief moment of rest, began to weave another Magic Missile spell, her progress greatly hindered by her fatigue.

Unfortunately, Discord had noticed Twilight's forming spell moments before she completed it. Seeing that the wielders of the Elements of Harmony were vulnerable, he briefly turned his attention away from the sisters to launch a storm of twisting, reality-warping magic at the six mortal ponies. Celestia and Luna, on seeing the threat to the ponies they had come to care about for different reasons-- Celestia because they were her beloved student and her friends, and had saved her sister from herself; Luna because they were the one to free her from Nightmare Moon's control-- didn't think twice about abandoning their attack runs on Discord to shield them as best as they could. Discord's attack struck and broke through Celestia and Luna's magical shields just as Twilight fired off her third Harmony-powered Magic Missile of the day. There was an immediate flash of light and a mighty explosion, twin cries of pain, the feeling of everything around them twisting in manners the mortal mind was never supposed to perceive, then…

…Darkness.

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In another place, far removed from the battlefield, a young man jogged through the forest surrounding his home. He was indulging in his daily morning jog, meant to keep him fit and help organize his mind in preparation for the upcoming day.

Normally, he would run laps while dodging around trees to give himself some variety. Today, though, while rounding a bend, he was forced to stop by something that was most certainly not usually there: eight naked young women laying on the ground, all of them sporting hair in the strangest of colors, and equipped with some seriously magical artifacts. He could only stare in shock as his mind tried to process the information it was receiving. When it did (though barely), he could only find one thing to say:

"Oh, bollocks."

It seems Fate was not done with one Harry James Potter.

Author's Note

A/N: This is what happens when I become a Brony. I write… THIS. I'm going to Pony Hell, I just know it… but at least I won't be alone! Yes, I'm talking about you, AJ Talon! Because of you, I can't see or read about Fluttershy and not think "potential nymphomaniac" or "it's always the quiet ones!"

...So, was this good or bad? Should I continue? This was an experiment on a different writing style for me-- I'm usually all for short prologues, then long chapters, usually more than ten pages, at least. This time, though, I'm going for five pages each chapter, give or take.

For my other works, look for me on fanfiction.net, same pen name.

Review!

Chapter 2: Guilt and Caesar Salads

In a Strange Land

By: The Fanfic Stealer

Harry Potter X My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic crossover

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by Rowling and WB. MLP:FiM is owned by Hasbro. I claim nothing from either of them.

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Chapter 2: Guilt and Caesar Salads

Harry frowned as he sat in the room occupied by his two patients of nearly two days, contemplating the mystery that literally laid before him: two beds containing a woman each, bandaged where magic-- even the magic of several demigods, celestial beings, and one full-blooded god-- had failed to heal the tainted wounds.

One woman was a statuesque beauty, probably four or five inches shorter than his own 6' 2", and was, in the words of his lovely little Luna, "proof that the young MILF exists." Her hair, hip-length and flowing, was a pastel rainbow of pinks, purples, and turquoise streaks, and she had the strangest tattoos on her: two on the upper thighs in the shape of a blazing sun, and two on her back in the shape of angelically white wings. She had been found with a golden jeweled crown, a strangely shaped golden necklace, and a remarkably long, white wand shaped like a unicorn's horn.

The other, in contrast to her companion, was petite, almost doll-like-- Harry probably towered head and shoulders over her if they were to ever stand back to back. Further contrasting the other woman, her hair, also hip-length and flowing, was a purple so dark it might as well have been black, with specks of silver scattered throughout, so that the overall impression was that of a piece of the star-studded night sky had become attached to her scalp. She also had the strangest tattoos on her, though these, once again, contrasted with those on her companion: on her upper thighs were two crescent moons laid on splotches of black, a design that gave the impression of seeing the moon through a break in the clouds on an overcast night, while on her back were purple wings only a shade or two lighter than her hair. She had been found with a black jeweled crown, a black necklace of the same design as the other woman's gold one-- both of which were composed of a unidentifiable metal-- and a dark purple unicorn-horn wand that, while long, wasn't as long as the white one.

With them had been six other girls, all magicals, with two of the Western type, judging by the wands found on them. They had been unconscious, as well, though at least they were unharmed, just suffering from some seriously drained mana reserves. Their appearances ran the gamut of just about every female stereotype between them: the trim, athletic-looking tomboy with the honest-to-goodness rainbow hair (and it was natural, too!), the violette supermodel, the buxom, rough-and-tumble blonde with the mile-long legs, the cutely mousy girl with two-toned, purple-and-pink hair, the motherly-looking pinkette, and the other pink-haired one-- a darker shade of pink than the first, and so curly it was almost bushy, much like his Hermione's-- who somehow gave the impression of the "cute-but-crazy" party girl.

Much like the two injured women, each one had strange tattoos somewhere on their bodies: all of them sported tattoos on their upper thighs, in exactly the same place on each of them, and two of them, the tomboy and the motherly girl, had tattoo wings on their backs-- sky blue and butter yellow, respectively. Each one had been found with gold necklaces mounted with various magical gems cut to resemble their tattoos, all except for the mousy-looking girl, who had a gold tiara mounted with a… ruby? some kind of highly magical pink gem cut into a starburst. The mousy purplette and the supermodel had the afore-mentioned wands-- purple and white, respectively, and both much shorter than the ones found with the injured women.

The most obvious questions, of course, were: who were they? How had they ended up in the forest that surrounded Potter Manor's current location, naked but for various accessories? Why were two of them injured, and the others not?

Also, what were those tattoos? Strangely enough, that was one of the more pressing questions. It seemed rather superficial, considering the circumstances-- eight naked women appear form nowhere, and he's worried about tattoos? But he couldn't help but be curious, especially because they corresponded to the ones he and his girls got after they attained their Animagus forms. There had to be a connection, there… perhaps it had something to do with how all their Animagus forms were equine in nature? Did that mean the forms his guest currently had were not their normal ones? But they read as human even to deep scans…

Harry gave a mental shake of the head and put aside his train of thought, moving on to what could possibly be the most important question plaguing him:

Why were there two goddesses in his home, injured by some serious Chaos Magic?!

Very few could wield Chaos Magic, and the ones that he knew were powerful enough to go toe-to-toe with not one, but TWO goddesses could be counted on one hand, and all of them were gods that knew better than to mess with the Balance between Order and Chaos.

Harry sighed as he checked the monitor charm once again-- unfortunately, the only ones who could answer his questions were his guests, and the only way for that to happen was to wait for one of them to wake up, which might be a while as mana exhaustion-- especially at their level-- . took a while to recover from…

"Dear? One of the girls woke up."

Huh. Well, speak of the devil. Harry perked up as Susan's mental "voice" echoed down from their soul bond. "Really? Excellent! Which one, and how is she?"

"The one with the purple and pink hair. She says her name is Twilight Sparkle, and she currently wants to see the two with you. She, err… claims they are royalty of whatever place they come from."

Harry blinked, then fought back the urge to face-palm. He succeeded, if barely. "…Royalty? Oh, bugger me…"

There was a giggle from the other end of the bond. "Don't let Luna hear you say that. She's likely to actually try it."

"…Right, shutting up now. So, Twilight Sparkle? She wouldn't happen to be a fan of a certain literary abomination, would she?"

"…No, I don't think so. Fairly certain it's just an unfortunate quirk of the Multiverse. So, what should I do with her?"

"Bring her here. I have some questions to ask her anyway."

"Alright. See you later, then."

"Take care, love."

The bond quieted, and Harry quickly conjured a chair for his nearing guest. A moment of thought, and he conjured a desk as well before calling one of the Potter Elves and ordering a salad be brought to the room-- the poor girl had been unconscious for nearly two days, now, so she was probably ravenous. And if his guess about her original form was correct, she would probably be sickened by the thought of eating meat.

Preparations done, Harry sat back and waited. A smile of anticipation bloomed on his face-- finally, answers! Nothing on the Creator's green earth were as horrid as unanswered questions!

A blink as that last thought registered, then a groan and a face-palm.

"…I thought obtaining attributes via injection was supposed to happen the other way? When did I get as knowledge-obsessed as Hermione?"

Much to his chagrin, the only answer he received was six simultaneous mental giggles.

Bah. Minxes, the lot of them.

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As soon as Twilight entered the room, she rushed to Princess Celestia's bed and looked her over. While it wasn't as bad as she imagined, the sight of her teacher and princess lying there, bandaged and helpless, shook her to her core. A quick look at Princess Luna showed her to be in much the same state, and Twilight felt a moment of hopeless despair-- Discord had held against and beaten all of them… what hope did they have of freeing Equestria from his mad grip?

"It looks a lot worse than it actually is, you know."

The male, Trottingham-accented voice made Twilight jump in shock, a squeak escaping from her lips. She turned around to see that Susan had left, leaving her in the room with her unconscious princesses and what was obviously a specimen of a male of her new body's species. And my, what a specimen.

Broad shouldered and well muscled, but not enough to make him bulky. Messy black hair that looked like it was styled to be so, rather than made like that due to poor upkeep. He had features she recognized as aristocratic (despite having never seen any example of his species before…), but they weren't ruined by the perpetual sneer the upper-crust ponies of Canterlot always sported. And finally, emerald green eyes that were warm and open, yet seemed to bore into her soul. He was dressed in a crisp, white button-up shirt and black slacks, and she suddenly felt woefully underdressed in his presence.

"Please, do take a seat, Ms. Sparkle," he offered, gesturing towards the unoccupied chair across from him. Twilight cautiously took the seat, a million questions running through her mind.

"I took the liberty of ordering your dinner earlier, and it should be arriving soon. I hope you don't mind?" he asked, offering her a boyishly mischievous smile that sent her stomach fluttering. She fought it down with a gulp.

"N-not to be rude or anything, but how did you know my name?" she asked. She didn't remember ever offering it…

"My wife told me, of course." Oh. Right. Of course. Susan must have told him while she was checking on the Princesses.

"Allow me to introduce myself," the man continued, "My name is Harry Potter, and you and your friends are currently in my home in France. I found all of you near here nearly two days ago, unconscious and naked."

Twilight gapped, shocked. Two days? She'd been unconscious for two days? "Are any of my friends awake?" she asked, somewhat dazed. Two whole days already… how much damage had Discord already done to Equestria?

"No. You are the first," Mr. Potter said, "And before you ask, they are all fine, just magically exhausted."

"Oh…" Twilight whispered absently, still trying to come to terms with just how badly she had failed, "T-thank you, for taking us in."

"It was no problem," Mr. Potter replied warmly, amiably waving off her gratitude. There was silence for a moment, as Twilight continued struggling with her thoughts. Their uncomfortable silence was broken by a small pop as a covered silver tray appeared on the desk between them. Twilight was shocked out of her depression by the sudden appearance.

"W-what?" she squeaked, her mind trying to comprehend what she had just witnessed-- How did--? Was she just served food via the highly complicated Teleport spell?

"I ordered you a Caesar Salad, since… well, due to some things I've noticed, I believe you are probably vegetarian," Mr. Potter told her as he lifted the tray's cover to reveal a salad of Roamaine Lettuce and croutons, flavored lightly with some kind of cheese and an unidentifiable dressing. Twilight looked blankly at it for a moment, not quite seeing the salad before her as her mind tried to wrap around the thought of using such an advanced spell for something so trivial.

"Err… is something the matter, Ms. Sparkle? Is the salad not to your liking?" Mr. Potter asked, concerned, "Because if it isn't, I can get something else made for you…"

Twilight looked up to see her host looking genuinely concerned. She looked back down at the salad, finally registering its presence… and felt a wave of nausea bubble up from deep within her. Without the momentary shock of teleporting food distracting her, thoughts of her failure once again hit her, killing her appetite. And now the guilt of failing all of Equestria was compounded by the guilt of being rude to her more-than-generous host.

"I…I'm not hungry, thank you," Twilight managed to get out, "And you can just call me Twilight, Mr. Potter."

"And you can call me Harry-- Mr. Potter was my father, the Creator bless his soul," he replied warmly, before his face took on a serious continence. "You've been out for two days, and all you had for sustenance were the nutrient potions we've been Switching into your stomachs to keep you in good health," he continued, "You need to eat, Twilight."

"N-no, thank you," she whispered, unable to look Harry in the eye-- she didn't want to see those warm, inviting emeralds turn cold with judgment. Judgment she deserved, sure, but that didn't mean she wanted to see them.

There was another moment of uncomfortable silence, before Harry broke it with a sigh. "Look, it wasn't your fault," he said out of the blue. Twilight's shot up to face him, surprised by the seeming non-sequiter that hit her troubles dead-on.

"W-what-?"

"I've seen the look in the mirror way too many times to not know what it is: you're blaming yourself for whatever happened," He continued, giving her a warm smile that, despite her current state of mind, set her stomach aflutter and her cheeks aflame, "Well, I'll save you the trouble and just tell you what my wives were eventually able to drill into my rock-hard head: it's not your fault. The injuries on your, err… princesses? The fault of whatever it was that decided to cast Chaos Magic against two goddess of Order. Your current situation? The fault of whatever Chaos Adept you girls were obviously fighting. The state of your friends? The fault of whatever Chaos Adept decided to start a situation in which you all were forced to use so much power against them. Unless I am completely and utterly off my mark and you girls are the antagonists in this story, it's the other guy's fault, not yours. Now," he took the fork that had been provided with her meal, speared several leaves of lettuce and a crouton, and held it out to her, "Eat. I'd rather a pretty girl like you not starve to death on my watch. My wives would have my hide if I did," he ended with a chuckle.

Twilight gapped as his words sent her mind careening in multiple directions. She was certain she hadn't mentioned anything about their battle with Discord, yet Harry seemed to have gotten the general idea of what happened. And what did he mean, he'd seen the look on her face too many times in the mirror? Wouldn't that imply he'd previously been in a situation similar to her's? Was she sitting with a veteran of some sort? And… wait.

"Wives?" she choked out. A small part of her mind face-hoo-palmed, muttering about how, of all things, THIS was what she latched on to.

Harry chuckled again. She noticed that, much like everything else about him, it was warm, even comforting. "Yes, wives. I have six beautiful ladies that were gracious enough to wed me, and I thank the Almighty Creator everyday for them. Now," he jabbed the lettuce-and-crouton-filled fork in her direction, "Eat, before I literally take matters into my own hands and hand feed you." The last comment was said in an obvious joking manner, showing he actually had no intention to force feed her.

Twilight looked at Harry for a moment, contemplating the man before her. As open and inviting as his posture was, he was an enigma wrapped in a riddle wrapped in a mystery. For all of her current situation, for all of her self-loathing… she couldn't help but be intrigued by him. Her attention turned to the fork in his hand. If she conceded and took one bite, would he allow her to ask more questions, she wondered…

…Eh, what the hay. He had no reason to harm her with poisoned food (if Harry was to be believed, she'd already spent almost two days in his family's care), and she had something to gain from indulging him. Mind made, she slowly reached up and, with some slight fumbling, took the fork with her new hands, then looked him in the eyes as she took the offered bite.

And then she was scoffing down the salad like a po-woman possessed, her stomach reminded by the first taste of perfectly-seasoned Caesar Salad that, nausea caused by guilt or not, she had not had anything substantial to eat in two days-- more than two days, as she hadn't had much to eat on the day Discord broke free-- and she was bucking STARVING!

Before she knew it, the plate was scraped clean, and she was wonderfully full and surprisingly content. Of course, that was when her brain decided to inform her that she'd shown a horrendous lack of table manners with that atrocious display. And, just to be spiteful, her stomach decided to add on to her exponentially increasing mortification by sending up a small belch too fast for her to stop before it escaped her lips in a almost-dainty "erp." Cue moment of shocked silence as Twilight practically slammed both of her hands over her traitorous mouth.

Then Harry broke the silence with a surprisingly rich belly laugh, and Twilight found herself torn between trying her best to curl up and die, and throwing whatever dignity she had left to slam her head against the table repeatedly. She compromised by freezing in shock while her cheeks quickly became warm enough that she suspected she could probably cook an egg on each side.

"Full, are we?" Harry quipped, his smile telling her that he wasn't insulted. Despite that, though, she could only find it within herself to nod, not trusting her mouth at the moment.

"Excellent!" he said, snapping his fingers. Twilight jumped back a bit when her tray, dirty plate, and utensils vanished with the same pop from which they arrived. She made a mental note to ask him about that-- really, a Teleport spell for dining services? That seemed so… wasteful!

Harry sat back and got comfortable, and continued, "Now that you're nice and full, do you mind if I ask you some questions?" Then, as if reading her mind, he offered, "If you do, I'll promise to answer any questions you have to the best of my ability."

Twilight perked up at those words, her worries and embarrassment and self-loathing momentarily forgotten as her inner scholar focused on the potential for new knowledge. It gave a mental cheer.

Finally, answers!

Author's Note

A/N: Before anyone gets on my case about this: my personal stance is that, despite looking like young adults, The Mane 6 will initially still act like they're barely teenagers. The reason for this has to do with the environment they grew up in-- our favorite "little" ponies live in what is essentially a utopia, a world plagued by none of the violence and corruption our world suffers from. Hence, they could afford to grow up a little slower mentally and emotionally, as they don't have to adapt quickly to a dog-eat-dog world. Of course, that's about to change, now that they're in a world where magic is actually a corrupting influence more often than not…

On another note... I tried to write Twilight as being somewhat shell-shocked while staying in character, and Harry as similar to the Harry from selector's Harry Potter and the Witches' Secret trilogy. How do you guys think I did?

…Oh, and that bit that says they're in France? That's not a typo. You'll see why soon enough.