Vlad the Impaler Visits Ponyville
It was a seemingly perfect spring day. The sun was out, the flowers were in bloom, the birds were singing, and Twilight Sparkle and her five best friends were having a picnic outside.
“This is so nice!” Pinkie Pie hummed with glee. “I’m so happy we’re spending this day together!”
“Yeah!” Twilight agreed. “Hey Applejack you got the stuff?”
“You bet ya!” the country pony said with a smile. She threw down a bag and a bunch of little circular candy looking objects fell out.
“Ooh!” Pinkie Pie cried excitedly. “What kind of candy is that?”
Twilight and Applejack laughed. “That’s not candy you dumb bitch, it’s ecstasy!”
“What no way!” Rainbow Dash said. “Fuck yeah!”
“Yay!” Fluttershy cheered. “Can I... you know... have some?”
“I’m not taking any of that!” Rarity said in a huff. “I shan't break the law.”
“Rarity you’re such a bitch.” Applejack laughed.
“What’s ecstasy?” Pinkie Pie asked confused.
The five other ponies stared at Pinkie Pie. Out of anypony else in Ponyville they expected Pinkie Pie to have had ecstasy before seeing as she loved parties.
“It’s a drug Pinkie, it makes you feel awesome.” Rainbow Dash explained.
“B-but drugs are bad guys!” Pinkie said in horror.
“Don’t be a little... p-pussy... Pinkie.” Fluttershy stammered.
“Yeah Pinkie Pie you dumb cunt take some!”
Pinkie Pie hesitated. She knew that she shouldn’t take drugs but her friends were putting a lot of pressure on her. “How do I do it?” she asked.
“You just swallow it.” Twilight explained.
Pinkie Pie picked up one of the tablets and cautiously moved it towards her mouth, but suddenly a loud explosion shook the ground and she dropped the small hint.
“What was that!” Rarity screamed.
“It sounded like an explosion of some sort!” Rainbow Dash said looking around for the source.
“Unde dracu sunt eu?” came a voice speaking in Romanian.
The six ponies turned toward the sound of the voice to see a strange looking creature standing before them. It looked like a mythical creature called a human that were in old mares tales. The human wore a long decorative cape and a funny red cap trimmed in silver and gold. He had a big mustache under his pointy nose. His beady eyes met the ponies and he stared at them for a long time.
“Is that a human?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“He’s sooooo cute!” Fluttershy squee’d. “I always wanted to see a human!”
“Ce este acest rahat? Vorbind ponei?” the human said.
“Uh.. Hello Mr. Human!” Twilight smiled. “What are you doing here?”
The human looked at the ponies angrily.
“My name’s Twilight.” she continued gesturing at herself. “What’s your name?”
“Printul Vlad al treilea, al Ţării Româneşti.” the human said. “Acum, să-mi explice sau sa moara! În cazul în care sunt eu?”
“I don’t know what he’s saying.” Twilight said. “I don’t speak Romanian.”
“Explicaţi!” the human roared. He pulled out a sword from a sheath that was hidden behind his long cape.
The six ponies huddled together trembling in fear.
“Wh-what does he want?” Rarity stuttered.
The man stepped forward waving his sword at them ferociously. “Te voi ucide! Tu trebuie să sângereze şi să sufere! Vei regreta ziua în care aţi trecut demoni Calea mea!” He raised his sword and brought it down upon Rarity’s chest. The blade slashed open her white coat tearing through her muscle and spilling blood upon the picnic blanket. She screamed and looked down at the gaping wound.
“Rarity!” screamed everypony. Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy caught her as she fell backward upon them writhing in pain.
“Hey asshole!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” The pegasus spread open her wings, took to the sky, and charged at the human full speed.
He sidestepped and waved his sword around at the last second before impact. The gleaming metal weapon hummed as it swung around and cut Dash’s left wing clean off. She lost control and crashed to the ground screaming as blood sprayed from her missing appendage.
The human laughed. “Ce prost!” he said.
Rainbow Dash was in shock. She looked over her shoulder at her missing wing and began to weep. Her whole life, her dream of being a Wonderbolt, had been ruined in a single second. She looked back at the man and realized she was going to die.
Twilight aimed her horn at the human and shot a purple beam. It picked the man up above the ground and held him there. He flailed his arms and shouted angrily.
“Magie demonică! Magie demonică!”
“What do we do with him?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“I-I... I don’t know.” Twilight said shaking.
“Kill him you idiot!” Rainbow Dash screamed. “You saw what he did!”
“Dash is right Twilight!” Applejack agreed. “You need to kill him!”
Without warning the man threw his sword. The blade flew through the air and impaled Twilight. She gasped for air and coughed up blood. In shock she released the spell and the human fell to the ground cursing.
“Twilight!” Pinkie Pie screamed in horror. “Oh sweet Celestia! Applejack, Fluttershy, what do we do?”
Fluttershy was frozen in fear, but Applejack wasn’t going to wait around to let the man hurt her friends anymore. She charged the human full speed. He got up off of the ground only to be rammed by the strong pony. The collision sent him flying backwards but he quickly got up and regained his footing.
“Du-te dracu ponei!” he shouted.
Applejack turned around and charged at him again. Just before she rammed in to the man for the second time he sidestepped and pulled out a dagger from his belt. As Applejack ran past him he cut her entire right flank open. She ran a few more feet and then collapsed dead before she hit the ground.
“No!” screamed Pinkie Pie still holding the dying Rarity.
The man walked over to Rainbow Dash who was crying and trying to crawl away. “No!” she screamed. “I don’t want to die!”
The human grabbed her rainbow colored mane and held her head back. He took the knife and slit her throat open. A stream of blood gushed out from her jugular vein as she coughed and gasped for air.
“Justiţie!” the man said. He turned around and faced Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie.
“You... you have to run...” Twilight said in a whisper.
Pinkie Pie turned to her half dead friend. Tears formed in her eyes. “I’m afraid Twilight.” she whimpered.
Twilight eyes widened. She gasped and died.
Fluttershy was still frozen in fear. The human walked up to her, quickly jabbed her in the eye with the dagger, and pulled it out. Fluttershy fell over dead instantly.
Pinkie Pie dropped Rarity and began to back away from the man.
“No..” Rarity cried. “Don’t... Don’t leave m-” Before she could finish the human threw the dagger into her mouth. She gargled on her own blood for a moment and then died.
“Please...” Pinkie Pie cried, tears flowing from her face. “You... You can’t do this...”
“Nu ştiu ce spui, dar nu-mi pasă.” the human said as he grabbed the hilt of the sword impaling Twilight and pulled it out. Twilight’s body fell limply to the ground. “Sunteţi cerşetoria cel mai probabil, pentru viaţa ta patetică. Cerşetoria nu va face nimic, este timpul pentru tine de a muri.”
The last thing Pinkie Pie saw was the sharp end of the sword and then... Darkness...
Vlad the Impaler pulled the sword out of the dead mare’s carcass. He didn’t know where he was, but he found this new place intriguing. “Poate ca ma pot cuceri acest teren.” he said with a smile.
He turned around to see a small filly, Scootaloo, frozen in fear staring at him. She was on her favorite toy scooter. As his eyes met hers she screamed and rode in the direction of Ponyville.
“Foolish ponei. Ea va duce doar pe mine la ceilalţi locuitori ai acestui pământ.” he said to himself. He smiled and began to pursue Scootaloo.
