The Cleansing

by BronyWriter

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 10417

Once a year, everypony in Ponyville gets to be as racist as they want

It was a completely normal day in Ponyville for Twilight Sparkle, or at least, that's what she thought it would be. That should have been her first clue that something was up. She expected it to be a quiet day where she could hang out with her friends, and maybe she'd get a friendship letter in if she was lucky.

She did not, however, expect everypony in town to turn into a flaming racist overnight.

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Published 2013-10-22 02:20:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-12-17 06:19:02 UTC

What Did You Just Call Me, Applejack?

Twilight Sparkle yawned as the first rays of the morning sun crept over her window, and she cracked open an eye to see a flawlessly blue sky, heralding what was sure to be a gloriously sunny day. She smiled to herself and scratched her stomach as she sat up. Last night had been surprisingly light in the studying area, and as such she was in bed by nine. She certainly felt well rested.

Twilight glanced over at the clock on her wall and saw that it read half past eight. She had gotten enough sleep to energize her for the day. She hopped out of bed and walked over to her dresser to comb her mane, and was delighted when she smelled Spike cooking what seemed to be blueberry pancakes on the stove. She set her brush down and trotted over to the kitchen, where Spike was just putting a small stack on a plate at her usual spot.

"Good morning, Spike." Twilight sat down and began pouring syrup on her pancakes. "Did you sleep well?"

Spike shrugged and put a stack of pancakes of his own on the table. "About usual. You?"

Twilight passed Spike the syrup. "Same here. I was in bed pretty early, so it took a little longer than normal to get to sleep, but other than that it was fine."

Spike nodded, and the two chatted for a few minutes while they ate their breakfast. Twilight finished hers fairly quickly, and she stood up to put her dishes in the sink. "I'll be doing some light reading for a few hours, okay?" Twilight turned on the water to let the dishes soak before turning her head to Spike. "How about something simple for lunch like fruit salad?"

Spike pushed his empty plate away and shook his head. "Nope. Can't do that. We're out of fruit, remember? There was that Ponyville potluck last week and we made a fruit salad for that."

Twilight frowned and walked over to the fridge after shutting the sink off. "No, I swear we..." Twilight opened the fridge and, sure enough, it was suspiciously devoid of fruit. For that matter, it was rather empty of rather a lot of things that two beings needed to eat. Twilight raised an eyebrow and shut the door. She walked over to her schedule for that month and checked the date. "Ah." She nodded. "Right. Today's the day we have to do our shopping."

Spike stood up and put his dishes in the sink on top of Twilight's. "Well I can run out and get a few things while you get to your books."

Twilight shook her head and walked out into the main room of the library. She ignited her horn and levitated her saddlebags onto her back. "No need, Spike. I need to get a little fresh air. Besides, I've been meaning to talk to Applejack about lending her some books on pest control." Twilight gave Spike a wry smile. "Seems those fruit bats are at it again." Twilight shrugged and opened the library door. "I'll be back in an hour, maybe two. Hold down the fort until I do, number one assistant."

"Yes ma'am!" Spike said with an enthusiastic salute. Twilight chuckled softly and shut the door behind her, letting the warm rays of the run wash over her as she trotted towards town.

As she walked towards the market, she mused that this really was the perfect day for shopping. Her stipend from Princess Celestia had come in three days ago, as well as her pay from the city for being the librarian, so she was able to get whatever she needed, and she had been told by Applejack that the last of the apples had just been harvested, so they were perfectly fresh. On top of that, the weather was perfect, so an open-air market was ideal.

Twilight reached the market and saw the Apple family's apple stand being run by Applejack and Big Mac. Applejack was taking with talking with Blossomforth, but Blossomforth didn't seem to actually be interested in buying anything. In fact, the conversation seemed to be getting rather heated. Twilight frowned, but her worries were assuaged when Blossomforth and Applejack's glares faded and they exchanged smiles and even a few laughs before Blossomforth flew away. Twilight mentally shrugged. It wasn't her business, and it seemed to be resolved anyway.

She stopped in front of Applejack's stand and smiled warmly at her friend. "Well hello there, Applejack. How are you this morning?"

Applejack raised an eyebrow and cocked her head. "What's it to ya? Ah didn't think ya stick heads cared about us 'worthless mud ponies.'"

Twilight's eyes widened, and her jaw nearly hit the ground. She had never heard Applejack talk like that to anypony before, much less her. To call a unicorn a stick head was about the worst thing that one could say to one, and Twilight doubted that Applejack didn't know that. Trivializing a unicorn's horn, one of the most important parts of them, was no small matter. She managed to blink a few times as her brain re-booted. "Uh... I..." She blinked again. "I don't..."

Applejack scoffed. "Ain't ya got someplace better ta be? Ya know, like countin' yer money and talkin' about how yer the 'master race' or somethin' like that?" Applejack frowned at Twilight. "Ah'm surprised that y'all would come ta talk ta... ta...." Applejack's frown deepened as her voice faded, but this time there was confusion behind her expression instead of reproach. She glanced back at Big Mac, who merely shrugged, then back to Twilight, whose lower jaw was quivering. "Uh... Twi? You do know what day it is, don't you?"

Twilight took a deep breath. "T-Tuesday?" she said in a tiny voice.

"Oh..." Applejack squeezed her eyes shut and facehooved. "Oh dangnabbit, Ah thought y'all knew about today!" Applejack groaned and thunked her hoof against the side of her head. "The day ain't even beginnin' and Ah already broke one of the rules!"

A slight frown crossed Twilight's face. "Huh? What do you mean? I don't..." She looked between Applejack and Big Mac, hoping to find some hint as to what the former was talking about. "I don't understand."

"Yeah, and that's the problem. Ah shoulda asked." Applejack sighed and beckoned Twilight. "Come on. Ah'll explain everythin'. You hold down the stand okay, Big Mac?"

"Eeyup."

"Good." Applejack smiled kindly at Twilight and led her out of the market and into the shade of a large tree about fifty hooves away. She motioned for Twilight to sit down, and she did the same.

"Okay, first off, Ah want ta apologize fer callin' you a 'stick head' like that." Applejack shifted uncomfortably and flattened her ears. "Ah know sayin' that to a unicorn ain't polite in the least bit, so Ah bet you're wonderin' why Ah woulda even thought about it."

Twilight leaned against the tree and crossed her forelegs, her eyes narrowing slightly. "Yeah. A little."

Applejack sighed. "Yeah, Ah'll bet." She looked out towards the market and shook her head. "Twilight, have ya ever heard of "The Cleansing?""

Twilight raised an eyebrow and shook her head. "No I haven't. I take it that it has something to do with why you called me..." Twilight's ear twitched. "That."

Applejack nodded and looked back to Twilight. "Sure does. Ya see, back when Ponyville was founded, it was an all earth pony town, see? Well, about thirty years after that, it started gettin' fruitful and all that, so other ponies came ta settle down here. Some of 'em pegasi and unicorns too."

"And that caused some tension," Twilight guessed.

"Sure as I'm sittin' here it did." Applejack adjusted her stetson on her head before continuing. "Well, at first it was just words: stick head, feather brain, mud pony, that kind of thing, but it wasn't long before it got outta control, and a pair of earth ponies were beat up by some unicorns. The mayor had ta devise a solution, and, well, he came up with a bunch of different ones and the town voted on The Cleansing, or Cleansing Day is another term for it." Applejack shrugged. "We've been doin' it ever since."

"Okay..." Twilight furrowed her brow and looked down at the ground. "But I'm still a little confused on just what that is."

"It's pretty simple. From sunrise ta sunset, everypony gets ta be as racist as they want. No repercussions, no social stigmas, nothin'."

Twilight looked back up at Applejack. "Just like that?"

"Well no," said Applejack with a shake of her head. "Ya see, the mayor knew from the very beginnin' that there'd hafta be a few rules in place ta make sure it didn't get out of hoof." Applejack held up a hoof. "Rule number one: no bein' racist to a race that ain't present. Big Mac and Ah can't be talkin' at our stall and makin' jokes about griffins." Applejack held up another hoof. "Rule number two: no violence. Any form of violence on Cleansing Day gets ya triple the amount of punishment ya normally would have gotten." Applejack extended a hind leg. "Rule number three: adults can't be racist ta foals. Ah can't walk up ta Scootaloo and call her a featherbrain."

"I see."

Applejack shrugged. "If Apple Bloom wants to, that's her business, but Ah can't. Ya followin' me so far?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah, I think so." She crossed her forelegs again. "And this works?"

"Sure does." Applejack shrugged again. "Ah mean, the whole day is kinda a joke now since we've had harmony between the three races fer a long time now, but from what Ah understand, just five years after Cleansing Day got goin', racially motivated crimes and hate speech went down to next ta nothin'."

"Huh..." Twilight frowned and scratched the back of her neck. "Those are the rules?"

"Well, there is one more rule that's pretty important." Applejack extended her other hind leg. "Rule number four is that if a pony says they don't want ta participate in Cleansing Day, they're off limits. Nopony can say anythin' bad to 'em. Simple as that."

"So all I have to say is 'Applejack don't call me a stick head again' and I'm not involved anymore?"

Applejack smiled at Twilight and nodded. "Yep. Simple as that." Applejack's smile turned a little wry. "Of course, the second you says somethin' racist, yer fair game."

"Of course," Twilight muttered. "I mean..." She grunted and facehooved. "Why not? That's a completely logical rule on a day where everybody gets to be racist. I mean, the whole premise of the day is completely logical in of itself!"

Applejack flattened her ears. "Ah understand how ya might think it's odd, sugarcube, but, we really don't see it as that big of a deal here."

"Of course not." Twilight got to her hooves and shook her head. "I mean, you've been doing it since as long as Ponyville has been around! It's tradition! Why would you stop just because I happen to think that it's crazy?"

Applejack got to her hooves and uneasily scratched the back of her neck. "Well, it's the way we've always done things, Twi. You saw how sorry Ah was, and still am, that Ah hurt yer feelin's right?" Twilight gave Applejack a slight glare, and she returned it with a sigh. "Look, Twilight: every community in Equestria has its traditions. Some are normal, some are more wide-spread than others, and some are plain silly to outsiders. Even Canterlot, Ah'll bet. Well, we have our weird traditions too, and one of ours is that, just fer one day, we all get ta be totally, completely, absolutely, one hundred percent racist to each other."

Applejack chanced a small smile, and Twilight's glare faded to a look of exasperation, and that initial feeling that everypony in this town was completely crazy was beginning to creep up again. A town wide, local government sponsored racism day. Only Ponyville... I think. Twilight scoffed and shook her head. "Well, I can't pretend to understand it, but if it's tradition and nopony actually gets hurt..."

Applejack put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "Ah assure you that nopony does, Twi. The second somepony says that somepony has gone too far, we back off. Just try not ta take it too seriously, okay?"

"Okay." Twilight sighed and began walking towards town. "I'll see you later, okay?"

Applejack scoffed, but the corners of her mouth turned up in a teasing smile. "Whatever, stick head."

Twilight snapped her head back in Applejack's direction, glared at her, and spoke before she could stop herself. "Right back at you, you worthless mud pony."

Applejack let out a guffaw and began walking back towards her apple stand and, despite herself, she felt a smile tug at the corners of her lips.

You too, Rarity?

Twilight shook her head as she walked down the road towards her home, her saddlebags only a quarter of the way as full as she had expected. She had been turned down at the first three stalls she had gone to, as they were all run by earth ponies, so she had quickly learned to only go to stalls run by unicorns.

It seemed that her and Spike would be going out to eat that night. Probably at one of the higher end restaurants owned and operated by unicorns. Twilight allowed herself a small smirk. Calling Applejack a mud pony was certainly a unique experience, as was being called a stick head in return, and she was unsure of if she wanted to keep going with this whole "Cleansing Day" thing. Having said that, if Applejack's rules were anything to go by, the fact that she had called her a worthless mud pony at all meant that she was fair game until sunset.

Twilight was just about to turn down the street to her home when she heard a familiar voice behind her that stopped her in her tracks.

"Twilight! It's so lovely to see another member of the master race out, darling." Twilight grimaced, and looked behind her to see Rarity trotting up to her, a large smile on her face. A few earth ponies behind her smirked and rolled their eyes. "I hope you have had a pleasant day, Twilight. You haven't had any er..." Rarity exchanged a fake glare with a passing pegasus. "Incidents with the undesirables, have you?"

"Just Applejack." Twilight's grimace softened as Rarity gave her a greeting hug. "She explained to me what was going on today."

Rarity broke away from the hug and fixed Twilight with a wide-eyed stare. "You mean, you didn't know about Cleansing Day?" Rarity clicked her tongue and shook her head. "I'm sorry, darling, I thought you would have known. She didn't say anything in too poor taste to you before you understood, did she?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and sighed. "Just that I was a stick head and that I should go count my money and leave the worthless mud ponies alone."

Rarity flinched back and flattened her ears. "Oh dear. I am sorry for that, Twilight. Do let me make it up to you by inviting Spike and yourself over to my home for lunch, won't you?"

Twilight frowned and tilted her head. "Not that I don't love spending time with you, but why do you feel that you have to make it up to me?"

Rarity shrugged. "I suppose it's because I just assumed you knew about today." She waved her hoof. "Of course, I shouldn't really need an excuse to have you and Spikey-Wikey over for lunch other than that I enjoy your company, should I?"

Twilight snorted. "I dunno. Aren't dragons inferior today? They're not of the master race like we are." Rarity shot Twilight a bewildered look, and Twilight flinched back as she remembered Applejack's rules. "Wait... right. Can't say that about younger beings."

"It can be difficult for outsiders," Rarity conceded, "and I know that this is your first cleansing day, but don't worry..." Rarity smiled at Twilight and put a hoof on her shoulder. "We'll have you talking like an earth pony's parent's objecting to a bi-racial union in no time. I'll teach you some of my favorite Cleansing Day slurs during after lunch tea while Spike is playing with Sweetie Belle. How does that sound?"

"It sounds..." Twilight chuckled and rubbed one of her temples. "It sounds good, I guess."

* * * *

Three hours later, Twilight and Spike were sitting with Rarity and Sweetie Belle at Carousel Boutique, chatting about whatever topic struck their fancy. Of course, given that it was currently Cleansing Day, there was really only one thing to talk about.

"You should have seen the look on Apple Bloom's face when I called her a mud pony, sis!" said Sweetie Belle, her voice squeaking at the end of the sentence. "She tried to say that I wasn't really part of the master race because my magic hasn't come in yet, but I told her that even if it never came in my horn meant that I was better than her." Sweetie Belle beamed as she took a bite of her sandwich. "Then Scootaloo and Apple Bloom started fighting about if pegasi were better than earth ponies, so I told them that they were both wrong!"

"And you are indeed correct, Sweetie Belle," said Rarity with a smile as she patted her sister's head. "Mud ponies don't have our magic, and anything those featherbrains can do we can replicate, and certainly do better, so why even try to talk otherwise?"

"Yeah. We would have kept going, but we were laughing too hard." Sweetie Belle giggled when Rarity playfully booped her on the nose.

Twilight subtly shook her head and shot Spike a glance as she finished the last bite of her sandwich. He was staring blankly at the two ponies extolling the virtues of being a unicorn in front of him as if he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing. Twilight had, of course, filled him in on Cleansing Day and its purpose. He had initially laughed it off, assuming that she was coming up with a wild reason for why she had come back from the market with pretty much only condiments, rice, plastic cutlery, and grape juice, but his laughter had turned to disbelief when he found out that she was, in fact, completely serious. They had spent the next hour looking through the library to try to find anything about Cleansing Day that they could. To Twilight's great disappointment, all they found was a few pamphlets from the first ever Cleansing Day in the archive section of the library.

Now here they were, watching Rarity encourage Sweetie Belle to tell her best friends that she was better than them because of her horn. Twilight suddenly had an acute sense that she had been transported back hundreds of years ago and nopony had told her. She would have believed it too if she didn't know better.

Sweetie Belle and Rarity shared a brief laugh at something Sweetie Belle said, snapping Twilight out of her thoughts. "Wonderful, Sweetie Belle." Rarity nuzzled her sister. "Now, if you wouldn't mind running along and playing with Spike, Twilight and I have some things to talk about."

Sweetie Belle frowned. "But I already know all of 'em sis. Even "ground basher."

Rarity snorted and waved her hoof. "I'm well aware of that, Sweetie Belle, but Twilight and I need some 'us' time. Go play with Spike."

Sweetie Belle groaned, but hopped off of her seat. "Come on, Spike. I'll show you my room." Sweetie Belle's smile returned, and her ears perked up as Spike fell in step behind her. "I can teach you some of the good offensive words about other ponies that are different than I am that I know so maybe you can use them if you wanna do Cleansing Day next year!"

Twilight sighed as she watched Spike and Sweetie Belle walk up the stairs of the boutique before turning her attention back to Rarity, who was smiling fondly at her. "I hope that wasn't too odd to see, darling. You know that Sweetie Belle isn't usually so vulgar."

"Yeah..." Twilight pushed her plate to the side and leaned her foreleg against the table, and her head on her hoof. "I suppose I can see why the stallions and mares around town want to join in and all that, but why exactly are the foals getting involved?"

Rarity shrugged and began stacking the dirty plates. "Pegasus see, pegasus do, I suppose. It's not as though we can hide it from them, Twilight." Rarity stood up and put the dishes in the sink before turning back to Twilight. "It's not as though Sweetie Belle isn't going to notice that Rainbow Dash calls me a stick head in front of her. You know how dense those ground bashers can be, Twilight."

"Right." Twilight closed her eyes and tried to massage the dull headache that was creeping up. "Remind me the origins of 'ground basher' again?"

"Pegasi are too stupid to stop themselves from crashing."

"Ah." Twilight opened an eye and looked over at Rarity. "Of course."

Rarity trotted back over to the table and sat down across from Twilight. "Twilight? Is something the matter?"

"Well..." Twilight opened her other eye and sighed. "It's just... strange, waking up to find everypony is suddenly a complete racist. I mean, you're saying all of this so naturally!"

Rarity chuckled lightly and smirked at Twilight. "Well to be fair, Twilight, I have had a good fifteen or so Cleansing Days to really get my form down."

"That's just it!" Twilight motioned up to Sweetie Belle's room. "I think I was fine with it overall until I saw Sweetie Belle. Puzzled, maybe, but fine with it. If a bunch of grown ponies want to spend a day slinging racial slurs at each other because they all know it's good fun and nopony is getting hurt then... whatever." Twilight flattened her ears. "Foals, though? Rarity, can you honestly tell me that Sweetie Belle should be saying those things?"

Rarity shook her head. "Of course not, darling, and any other day I'd wash her mouth out with soap and make her write apology letters to everypony who heard her, on top of sending her to bed without supper, but..." Rarity shrugged. "It's Cleansing Day. Today, verbal racial taboos just sort of disappear for twelve hours, then go back like they never left."

"But why?!" Twilight stood up from her chair and began pacing around the room. "Why do you you even consider saying stuff like that? Just because you can doesn't mean that you should!"

"You're right, of course, but we do anyway." Rarity gave another shrug. "Think about it, Twilight. When Sweetie Belle talked about doing it, she didn't talk about doing it to her enemies, she talked about doing it to her friends."

"Why, though?!" Twilight stopped pacing and looked Rarity dead in the eye. "Are you really so dead set in being racist for a day that you'd get mad at Princess Celestia if she took it from you? I mean, are those thoughts that you actually have the other three sixty-four days of the year and you just keep them bottled up?"

"Of course not, dear!" Rarity insisted. She stood up from her seat, a hint of a frown tugging at her lips. "If I ever even thought of calling Applejack or Pinkie Pie a mud pony on any other day I would probably lock myself in my room and not bear to see them for a week I'd be so ashamed of myself. The same thing goes for if I called Rainbow or Fluttershy a sky head."

"But here it's okay."

"Yes." Rarity gave Twilight a single nod. "Here it is perfectly okay."

"But I don't understand why!" Twilight groaned and began pacing again. "I mean, why does it have to be this particular topic that you have to breach once a year?"

Rarity clicked her tongue and sat back down in her seat. "Twilight, as I said, Sweetie Belle only said that to friends; ponies who knew that she wasn't serious. Now, I know that she has had issues with bullies who are earth ponies, and if I found out that she said those things to them I would be quite cross with her. If she did that, she would be misusing the purpose of the day. She would actually have malicious intent, and that goes against what this day has evolved into for us." Rarity crossed her forelegs. "Now, you already called Applejack a mud pony, so you are fair game today, so if you don't want to be involved you can just stay home, but..." Rarity's smile suddenly turned mischievous, and she leaned forward. "When you called Applejack a worthless mud pony, didn't that feel a little... daring? Wasn't that exciting?"

"Well..." Twilight stopped pacing, and thought back to when she and Applejack had exchanged slurs. Truth be told, the rush she had felt when she said that was quite invigorating, and when Rarity put it like that, she could see her point.

Rarity, for her part, caught on to Twilight's hesitation, and widened her smile. "I think you have it. Disagree with it if you must, but trust me when I say that it has been ninety-seven years since Ponyville's last racially motivated crime. It just doesn't happen around here." Rarity shrugged and stood up from the table. "If you take all of that into account, what's wrong with any of it? The negative power of those words is gone, isn't it?"

Pink is Superior to Purple

Twilight sighed as she walked down the street towards Sugarcube Corner. Despite the fact that Pinkie Pie was an earth pony, she figured that she was one of the ponies least likely to be involved in something like this, second only to Fluttershy, and if Fluttershy's Nightmare Night behavior was any indication, she wouldn't even want to come out of her house. Rainbow Dash, on the other hoof, seemed like the type of pony who would love this particular holiday, so that left Pinkie Pie to give a little more perspective as to what was going on.

Twilight pushed the door of the confectionery open, and was greeted with the sight of Mr. and Mrs. Cake standing behind the counter, organizing a fresh batch of cupcakes in the display case. They looked up from their work when they saw Twilight walk in and both raised an eyebrow.

"Not every Cleansing Day when we get a horn jabber in here," said Mr. Cake. "What, you want to see how we lowly earth ponies live?"

Twilight shook her head and walked up to the counter. Seeing as she was here, she might as well try to get something for her and Spike since they were low on food. "Nope. I was... well, I wanted to talk to Pinkie."

"Oh, she's back in the kitchen," said Mrs. Cake, motioning back to the room in question. "You want me to call her?"

Twilight nodded. "Yeah, and... I know this is a stupid question, but can I also get half a dozen cupcakes?"

"Of course you can, dearie." Mrs. Cake pulled a box out from under the table. She loaded half a dozen cupcakes into it and tied it up with string. "That'll be fifty bits."

Twilight's jaw dropped, and her eyes went as wide as dinner plates. "F-fifty bits?! The normal price for half a dozen cupcakes is fifteen bits!"

"Not today for stick heads," said Mr. Cake with a frown. "I mean, you can afford it, can't you? All you stuck-ups are rolling in money while us earth ponies are barely scraping by. I know you hold on to your bits until the Celestia on the bit screams, but you can let go of a few more bits. You can afford it."

Twilight closed her eyes with a sight. Right. Cleansing Day. They don't really mean it. She opened her eyes and gave the Cakes a fake glare. "Well, why would I pay fifty bits for cupcakes that filthy mud ponies made? That's probably what they're made of anyway!" Twilight scoffed and made a show of sticking her nose into the air. "You should let me make them. I'd do it with my magic a hundred times better and faster than you could ever imagine!"

Mrs. Cake raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" She chuckled and turned to her husband. "Imagine that, Pumpkin: a stick head who actually volunteered to do a little hard, physical labor instead of some simple job with their magic."

"Making your cupcakes for you would be simple with my magic!" Twilight retorted, snapping her head back down to make eye contact with the Cakes again. "Anything you can possibly think of I can do better with my magic."

"So you admit that you're worthless without your horn?" Mr. Cake said with a smug smile.

Twilight turned her glare to him. "If a pony is worthless without a horn, what does that make you?"

Mrs. Cake began idly examining one of her hooves. "Smarter, more resourceful, dexterous with our hooves, stronger, and not as big-headed as you stick heads. I'd say that's a fair trade."

Twilight snorted, but didn't retort. She merely continued glaring at the Cakes, who smiled at her for a few seconds before Mrs. Cake began chuckling. "I've heard from Applejack that this is your first Cleansing Day. I must say that you're doing rather well." She widened her smile, and Twilight saw a little more warmth behind it. Mrs. Cake pushed the box closer to Twilight. "Fifteen bits as usual, of course."

Twilight returned Mrs. Cake's smile and put the bits on the counter. "Thanks, I guess."

Mr. Cake frowned and cocked his head a few centimeters. "You do know that we didn't mean a word of it, right?"

Twilight smiled reassuringly at the couple and nodded. "Of course I know that. It's just that I found out about this day the hard way, so it's a little different getting used to the idea. That's all. I know that you would never say that and actually mean it."

Mr. Cake's smile returned "I'm glad to hear that, Twilight. Now, you wanted to talk to Pinkie?"

Twilight nodded as she remembered why she had come to Sugarcube Corner in the first place. Mrs. Cake returned her nod and went back into the kitchen to retrieve Pinkie Pie, and within a few moments the pony in question came hopping out of the kitchen, dotted in clumps of flour. Her face split into a wider grin when she saw Twilight.

"Hey! It's one of my favorite unicorn supremacists in the whole wide world!" Twilight bit the inside of her lip as Pinkie bounced over the counter and wrapped her in a hug. "You wanted to talk?"

"Uh... yeah," Twilight replied.

"Okay." Pinkie Pie turned her head to the Cakes. "I'm gonna take my lunch break now, okay?" The two grunted in affirmation, and Pinkie led Twilight to a corner booth of the shop and had her sit down. Pinkie made a brief detour to get a tray of cupcakes and a pair of sodas, and placed them on the table before sitting opposite Twilight. "So, what did you want to talk about?"

Twilight took a deep breath, and levitated one of the cupcakes over to her. She took a bite and relished the sugar rush that went through her, and chewing the cupcake gave her time to formulate what she wanted to say. She swallowed her bite and took another deep breath. "Pinkie Pie. Am... am I a racist?"

Pinkie Pie nodded as she took a cupcake off of the tray. "Uh-huh."

Twilight's jaw dropped, and her concentration nearly broke to the point where she dropped her cupcake. "P-Pinkie, how could you say that?!"

Pinkie shrugged. "Well, you asked, didn't you?" Pinkie cocked her head. "This is about today, isn't it?"

"Of course."

"Okay, then, what about today makes you come to me, a supposed worthless mud pony, and ask me if you were a racist?" Pinkie leaned back in her chair and crossed her forelegs. "Something had to make you think all of that."

"Well yeah..." Twilight uneasily scratched the back of her neck. "I just... I dunno, I guess... I guess I'm just worried about how easily these slurs that I'm slinging at you guys are coming to me. I don't have to even think about it before extolling the virtues of my horn over your complete lack of one."

Pinkie shrugged. "Well, it's not as though Mr. and Mrs. Cake had any more difficulty. Besides, I know you didn't mean it. You two smiled about it afterwards, right?"

"Yeah."

"Exactly." Pinkie Pie smiled at Twilight and glanced back at the Cakes. "Don't get me wrong, I don't think you're racist in the sense that you think unicorns are the master race or anything like that, I just think that you lean more towards unicorns because it's what you're familiar with. You don't know what it's like being anything else, so you prefer to stick with the familiar."

"Well, I don't hate other races, Pinkie."

"I know that," said Pinkie with a wave of her hoof, "but if I gave you the opportunity, right here and right now, to turn you into an earth pony forever, would you take it?"

Twilight bit her lip and shifted in her seat, averting her eyes. "Well..."

Pinkie put a a hoof on Twilight's shoulder. "It's nothing against you, Twilight, it's just that it's familiar. You like being a unicorn. You don't know how to be anything else. If you could go back to the moment of your birth, you'd choose to be a unicorn, right?" Twilight's ears flattened, but Pinkie gave her a reassuring pat. "It's not a bad thing, Twilight."

Twilight frowned and tilted her head. "That doesn't make me a bad pony?"

Pinkie giggled and shook her head. "Of course not, silly. We all do it. Applejack would choose to be an earth pony again because she could keep her natural connection to the earth, and that would help her farm. Fluttershy and Rainbow would become pegasi again because they like their connection to the sky. We're all biased towards our own race, and that's what today is really all about."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Applejack told you the history of today, right?" Twilight nodded. "Right, so you know that ponies took that feeling of the familiar and actually thought that it meant that they were better. All three of the races did, and it came out in really bad ways." Pinkie's smile faded and she flattened her ears. "Ponies said and did a lot of bad stuff to each other back then." Pinkie's ears perked back up. "So that's what today is about: getting those bad feelings out in the open so we can see how silly they are." Pinkie giggled and winked at Twilight. "Giggling at the Ghosties, if you will."

Despite herself, Twilight cracked a small smile. "Interesting. But doesn't that kind of show how everypony feels? Like a "drunken words are sober thoughts" kind of thing?"

"Er... not exactly. At first, maybe, but once we all started laughing, I think we realized how silly those words really were." Pinkie giggled. "You don't really have a stick on your head."

Twilight frowned. "I'm not sure I totally get it still."

"Words only have the power we give them, Twilight, and if we laugh at those words that are supposed to be mean to other ponies, they don't have that power." Pinkie tapped her lower jaw with her hoof, and looked down to the remaining cupcake on the tray. "It's like if we all decided that the word cupcake was a bad word, would it be a bad word?"

Twilight scratched her head and looked down at the cupcake. "Well... I guess it would be. I mean... hmm."

Pinkie's smile widened, and she leaned forward. "Whatcha thinkin'?"

"We gave the word cupcake negative power, so... it has it. If we all then decided that it didn't, that it went back to meaning a cake in a cup, then the power of those words is gone."

"I think you got iiiiit," said Pinkie in a sing-song voice. "We do this so that words like that don't make ponies feel bad anymore."

"So then why don't we say that kind of thing the rest of the year?" Twilight questioned. "If a day like today gets those bad feelings out into the open, then why don't we say them all the time?"

"Would you like to be called a stick head every day?"

Twilight's brow creased, and she crossed her forelegs. "So it doesn't work? Those words still have power at the end of the day?"

Pinkie Pie's wide smile faded, and it turned a little wistful. "Some words have a lot of power, Twilight. Saying what we do, yeah, it's still technically racist, and honestly, you can only laugh at that for so long." Pinkie Pie's smile widened ever so slightly. "But that's what today is. It's us all getting together to forget that those words have power. We all use them to laugh at how silly we are for letting them have any power." Pinkie shrugged. "A lot of power of those words is gone because of today, but you still wouldn't want to hear it in casual conversation, right? You'd rather be referred to by your name, and not categorized by your race, right? I mean, even if you weren't offended by the phrase stick head at all, would you rather be called that, or Twilight?"

"Well, Twilight, of course."

"Right, so that's why we only giggle at the power those words hold over us once a year. It gets tiresome otherwise." Pinkie giggled and took a bite of her cupcake. "Those words only hold the power that you let them, and today we don't let those words have any power. We giggle at how ridiculous it all is, and nopony has any ill feelings. If we actually used it as an excuse to be genuinely mean, I think we'd stop it." Pinkie finished off her cupcake and pushed the empty tray aside. "Have you talked to Rarity yet today?"

"Yeah."

"So you know that Sweetie Belle is involved in Cleansing Day too. Well, Sweetie Belle isn't allowed to say that stuff to ponies that she actually doesn't like, so there's no ill will at all. Scootaloo and Apple Bloom know she doesn't mean it, and they all laugh about it." Pinkie widened her smile and stood up. "I have to get back to work now, Twilight. Just think about it, okay?"

Rainbow Reclining

Twilight trotted down the road away from Sugarcube Corner back towards the library, her mind going back over what Pinkie Pie had told her. It all seemed pretty logical. It was true, after all, that words did only have the power that ponies gave them. If this whole day was to celebrate something like that, then maybe it wasn't so bad after all. If nopony seemed particularly hurt by it, then there wasn't an issue.

Since it was a nice day, though, she decided to work off the cupcakes a little bit and cut through the park on the way back home. Spike was still playing with Sweetie Belle, so she wasn't particularly needed back there at the moment. She had remembered to put the sign on the door saying that she was out, so she had a little more time to herself if she wanted to take it.

Twilight took a deep breath and relished the fresh, clean air, and basked in the warm rays of the sun that were shining over her. She looked up into the sky and saw that there was not a cloud to be seen, save for one. One with a familiar rainbow tail hanging over the edge.

"Hey, Rainbow Dash!" she called out. Even if Rainbow Dash was involved in Cleansing Day, there was no reason not to say hi to her. She could respond with some slurs if Rainbow Dash had some of her own prepared.

Rainbow Dash poked her head through the cloud, and gave Twilight a greeting nod and a small smile. "'Sup, Twilight." Rainbow took to the sky and pushed the cloud closer to the ground until it was just about level with Twilight before plopping back onto it, crossing her hind legs and crossing her forelegs behind her back. "Anything new going on?"

Twilight smirked and glanced over in the direction of the town. "Well, I just found out about Cleansing Day, so that was a pretty big shock for me."

Rainbow clicked her tongue and subtly shrugged. "Yeah, I don't really do that kind of stuff. I'm one of those... what do you call them...?" Rainbow spun one of her hooves as she tried to think of the words. "Conscious objections?"

"Conscientious objectors?"

Rainbow nodded and lazily pointed a hoof in Twilight's direction. "Yeah, that's the one. What you said. I learned about what Cleansing Day was in school in my second year, and I knew that I didn't wanna do it, so I didn't." Rainbow tilted her head in a subtle shrug once more. "Just seemed kinda mean to me."

Twilight cocked her head and sat down in the grass next to Rainbow Dash. "I talked to Pinkie Pie about that. She said that Ponyville does it to remove the power of those words."

"I know that, but..." Rainbow hesitated as she ran a hoof through her mane. "I never liked it that we even joked about those words, even to make it so that we didn't feel so bad about them, you know?"

"Why?"

Rainbow deeply exhaled and rolled over on her cloud until she was on her stomach facing Twilight. "You know I dropped out of flight school, right? Well, my dad wasn't too happy about that, so he made me join the military battalion stationed in Cloudsdale so I'd have some working experience so I could get a job when I got out."

Twilight frowned and raised her eyebrow. "You were in the military?"

Rainbow Dash nodded. "Age eighteen to age twenty." Dash grimaced and rested her head in her forelegs. "I got stuck with basic Cloudsdale Air Force because I never finished flight school, so I wasn't allowed to advance any higher. A lot of the pegasi I ended up serving with weren't exactly... nice to everypony. Some were downright jerks." Rainbow's eyes narrowed and she raised her head to look directly into Twilight's eyes. "I had met some earth ponies and unicorns when I went down from Cloudsdale to visit Fluttershy a few times. Made a few friends too like Applejack. Imagine, then, that you've spent a whole day learning to kill things as efficiently as possible when you've never wanted to learn that, you're yelled at until your ears hurt when you can't kill fast enough, then you gotta salute them and call them 'sir' when it's all over.

"Have a whole day of that, then go back to the mess hall and listen to some jerks who went ground-side talking about the filthy mud ponies and the stuck-up horn heads."

Twilight flattened her ears and her gaze trailed to the ground. "I... I had no idea."

"Yeah, well, it gets worse." Rainbow scoffed and shook her head. "There's a perception among the pegasi militaries that 'mud ponies' are the kind of ponies who will lift their tails for just about everything that asks, so I had to hear them talking about that too. They don't think much better of unicorns, honestly, they just think you're a little 'higher end.'" Rainbow broke off a portion of her cloud and began idly poking at it. "Like I said, I'd already become sorta good friends with Applejack by that point, so I wasn't really going to stand for that kind of talk. One night I got in a little fight when one of the returning squads mentioned something about a 'pretty orange mud pony' he wanted to... you know.

Rainbow extended a foreleg and Twilight saw a scar a few inches long just under her knee. "Clocked the guy pretty good and broke his muzzle, but they were still armed with their wing-blades. I got a black eye, few broken ribs, and if I wasn't as fast as I was jumping back, I might not have this leg anymore." Rainbow grimaced and retracted her leg. "Of course, then they started on me. 'Mud licker, 'horn sucker,' that kind of thing. Stayed with me the rest of my tour of duty."

Rainbow crossed her forelegs and rested her head on top of them. "That's why I don't do Cleansing Day. I'm all for taking the power away from words, and I know that nopony here would do that, but I know that the idea is gonna be abused by somepony, and I've been on the wrong end of that kind of speech. It isn't something that I even want to joke about."

Twilight slowly nodded, and managed to look back up at Rainbow Dash, her ears slowly perking back up. "Do you... do you not like the others for participating in Cleansing Day?"

Rainbow shook her head. "No I don't feel anything like that, because I guess I can see the point of it all. Pinkie told me that she was doing it to 'Giggle at the Ghosties" too, but..." Rainbow sighed and shook her head. "And don’t think that all pegasi soldiers are mareanizing racists, it was really only three or four stallions, but it was enough for me to not like they idea anymore. I tend to avoid everypony today ‘cause of that. I only came out here because it's such a nice day out. Everypony knows that I'm not somepony who likes today, so I've never had any problems with it."

"Have you ever told anypony why you don't like it?" Twilight raised her head fully. "I mean, I think a lot of them might stop if they knew the other side of things."

"Nah, I wouldn't do that to 'em. If they want to because it helps them deal with those kinds of words, then fine." Rainbow scratched the back of her head. "As for me, I'd really rather not. All I've told anypony outside of a few in our groups is that I've had a few bad experiences with that kind of thing when I was in the military. They leave me alone about it."

Twilight flattened her ears again. "I had no idea. I wouldn't have gotten involved myself if I had known."

"Don't be like that, Twilight." Rainbow Dash managed a small smile. "Look, that's just my experience, you know? Like I said, if Cleansing Day is how the rest of Ponyville wants to cope with the fact that ponies can say those kinds of things to each other then more power to 'em. I just don't really want to get involved myself, ya know? It's not how I want to deal with that kind of thing. I don't think they're bad ponies, Twilight."

Twilight slowly nodded. "I guess that makes sense." She got to her hooves, and Rainbow sat up on the cloud. "Sorry if I... I dunno, offended you or something by even bringing it up."

Rainbow smirked and shook her head. "This ol' filly? Nah, you're good. You didn't know, and you had no reason to. It's just my opinion based on my experiences, that's all. Don't feel bad that you got involved, but..." Rainbow Dash waved a hoof. "It's not for me."

Fluttershy's Point

Well, it went without saying that Twilight was now even more confused about what to do for Cleansing Day. On one hoof, she could certainly see the perspective of the ponies for it, but on the other, Rainbow's point almost seemed to negate their points in her mind. She hadn't stopped to consider the fact that the rest of the ponies who participated would likely have not dealt with racism on the level that Rainbow Dash did.

Needless to say, she was glad to be back at the library so that she could be done with the whole thing. If anypony came by asking for a book and wanted to participate, she'd respond, but otherwise, she was done with the whole thing.

Twilight opened the door to her library home and deeply exhaled. It was good to be back. Her initial assessment of the Ponyville folk was correct, it seemed. They were all crazy.

"Spike, I'm back," she called out as she put her saddlebag on the back of a chair. She put her box of cupcakes on the counter and eagerly sat down on the chair next to the table. It was good to be home. "I've got cupcakes if you want some."

Twilight instantly heard the pitter-patter of dragon feet as Spike ran down the stairs towards the table. He gave Twilight a greeting nod before grabbing the box and flipping it open. He grabbed two of the cupcakes and immediately shoved one into his mouth, a wide grin appearing on his face as he did. Twilight gave him a small smirk and picked up one of her own. "Glad you like them."

Spike swallowed his cupcake and was just about to respond when Twilight heard the door to the library open and the voice of the only friend she had yet to see that day float through the building. "Twilight? Are you here?"

Twilight stood up from her seat and walked into the main room of the library where Fluttershy was looking around to see where Twilight was. "Hey, Fluttershy. How are you today?"

Fluttershy turned her head to the source of Twilight's voice, and smiled when she saw her friend. "Oh I'm doing well. I'm just here because I'm looking for a book on garden pests. You see, I was growing some carrots for Angel Bunny, but they started getting eaten by some parasites, and I'm not sure how best to stop them."

Twilight returned Fluttershy's smile and walked over to one of her bookshelves. "Definitely. I have a few books like that." She levitated a dark blue book off of the shelf and floated it over to Fluttershy, who took it in her hooves. "Keep it as long as you need it."

Fluttershy nodded and flipped the book open to the table of contents and began scanning it. As she did, a little nagging thought entered Twilight's mind, and she weakly cleared her throat. "Uh, Fluttershy? What do you think about Cleansing Day?"

Fluttershy let out a little squeak, and the book dropped from her hooves. She blushed and picked it back up. "Sorry, um... I don't participate."

"Somehow I didn't think so." Twilight shrugged and walked over to her comfy chair. "I'm curious as to why, though. I mean, I've heard the perspective of the rest of our friends, but I haven't heard yours."

Fluttershy flattened her ears and let out a pained sigh. She shook her head and sat down on a chair next to Twilight. "Well, I guess it goes back to how I was raised." Fluttershy uneasily rubbed one of her forelegs. "I... I have an uncle who would... benefit from getting his angry feelings out in a healthy way." Fluttershy shook her head and glanced over at Twilight. "Because of him coming over during family get-togethers and getting drunk, I... um... I know pretty much every racial slur out there."

Twilight flattened her own ears and flinched back. "Oh. Yeah, I guess that would kind of sour you to the whole idea."

Fluttershy nodded and sighed again. "Not just for the three tribes either." Fluttershy grimaced. "'Rat wings' for Princess Luna's bat ponies, 'turkey heads' for griffins, 'shinys' for crystal ponies, 'schnangdoodles' for--"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second!" Twilight's eyes widened as she realized just what Fluttershy had said. "Do you mean to tell me that my nickname for my brother, the prince of the Crystal Empire inhabited by crystal ponies, is also a racial slur for said crystal ponies?!"

Fluttershy's ears flattened again, and she bit her lip as she looked away from Twilight. "Well, I guess when you put it that way..."

Twilight groaned and facehooved, the beginnings of a weak headache appearing at the base of her horn. "Well, I guess I can't ever call him that again," she muttered.

Fluttershy put a hoof on Twilight's shoulder and gave her a small smile. "It's not that bad, Twilight. It's not like you knew. You just have to be careful who you call him that around, that's all."

"That might work if he was anypony but the prince of the Crystal Empire!" Twilight groaned and rubbed her temples. "Any other nicknames that I've given that are racial slurs? When I call you 'Flutters,' is that a racial slur against pegasi?"

Fluttershy lightly chuckled, but shook her head. "No. Not as far as I'm aware." Her smile quickly faded "But I guess you can kinda see why I wouldn't want to participate in today." Fluttershy tilted her head in a sort of shrug. "I guess..." She hesitated for a brief moment. "I'd always see the way that my uncle would act when he was saying those things, and I never wanted to be that. To me, this day is a day where I could kinda see myself becoming that. I tried it once, and... and I remembered my uncle and how he acted, and I never did it again." Fluttershy's small smile returned. "Applejack says that it's too bad that I abstain because I'm probably the best pony in Ponyville at it."

"Which makes you uncomfortable because of your uncle."

Fluttershy nodded. "Yeah. I guess I don't do it for similar reasons to Rainbow Dash. I've had some bad experiences, and so I don't really feel comfortable participating."

Twilight nodded and leaned back in the chair. "How often do you see your uncle?"

"Every year during Hearth's Warming Eve at least once." Fluttershy uneasily rubbed the back of her neck. "Um... well, that's how I figured out about the 'shiny' slur." Fluttershy let out a quiet scoff. "Did you hear that a new breed of ponies appeared the other day? I thought those stinkin' shinys were extinct, or somethin'. Good riddance, I thought." Fluttershy grimaced again and shook her head. "I think you can guess that I didn't tell him that I was there after the Crystal Empire reappeared, and I definitely didn't tell him that the Crystal Heart turned us into crystal ponies temporarily."

"Makes sense."

Fluttershy shrugged and got to her hooves. "I don't think less of ponies for doing it, because I know they deal with it that way, but I don't really want to bother anypony by being any good at it. I know that that's the point, but I'm scared that because of my uncle I'd be too good at it." Fluttershy picked up the book and put it in her saddlebag. "I guess it's just not for me."

Author's Note

Next one is the last, I think.

Oh, and I'm working on the first chapter of Life of a Non-Brony now.

Dear Princess Celestia...

Twilight exhaled as she watched the sun sink over the horizon. Cleansing Day was over. Secretly she was a little relieved. Even though she could see the point of all of it, she wasn't quite sure she was okay with being called a bunch of racial slurs. Even less with being good at slinging them back. It seemed okay, but then she heard Rainbow and Fluttershy's perspective, and she was even less sure about what to think about the most unusual of Ponyville's holidays.

Twilight walked over to her desk and looked down and the stacks of parchment and the perfectly organized quills and ink. She ignited her horn and a single piece of parchment, a fresh quill, and a solitary inkwell slid to the middle of the desk. She dipped the tip of the quill in the ink and brought it to the paper.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I found out that Ponyville has a most unique holiday, if I can even call it that, that it celebrates once a year. Every year on this date, they eschew all social norms and choose to be as racist as they want. There are a few rules and regulations, but otherwise, all racial taboos are null and void.

I found out about Cleansing Day, as they call it, the hard way. I went to go talk to my friend Applejack and she called me, with some malice in her voice, a "stick head." I was, as you can imagine, shocked and hurt by her words. You know as well and I that that is not something frivolous to call a unicorn. Applejack promptly explained to me that today was a holiday called Cleansing Day, and that the purpose was to take the power away from racial slurs. Giggle at the Ghosties, as Pinkie Pie put it when I talked to her about it later. Once I understood what Cleansing Day was about, I started getting into it too.

Looking back, it disturbs me a little bit how easily I was able to keep up and spew racial slurs at the earth ponies that I interacted with. I didn't really have to think about it much. I even asked Pinkie Pie if I was a racist, and she told me that I was. To hear her say it, we're all a little bit racist on some level. What disturbed me the most was that I couldn't argue with her logic, even though she waved it away by saying that it was a benign form. It's more predisposition to the familiar than straight racism, right? I think that it's a little hard to say.

Then I heard the perspectives of Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy as to why they didn't want to participate in Cleansing Day. They had seen the nastier side of racism between the three pony tribes, and they couldn't condone it even for the reason that the rest of Ponyville did. That made me wonder if the ponies who were participating in Cleansing Day were being ignorant; that they meant well, but they were trivializing something that was really hurtful to other ponies.

So what did I learn in the end and what is my overall perspective on Cleansing Day? Well... I'm not sure. I don't know, is it possible to go through some event and not really learn anything to speak of? To be left with even more questions than you began? Because I think that's what happened to me. I think that what I got from learning about Cleansing Day is that sometimes some event is going to come by and you're going to use it to reflect on how you view the world and your actions and your place in it, and you're not going to have any idea of what you learned. You know you learned something, but you're not quite sure what.

So I guess what I'm saying, Princess Celestia, is that I'm sure that there is a definitive lesson that I can learn by finding out about state sponsored small town racism day, but after hearing everypony's conflicting opinions on it, for the first time in my life, I'm not sure what that is. I'm sure I can better myself by really deeply reflecting on what I can get out of today, but I'm not really sure how to go about that. It's a heavy topic, to be sure, but I'm not sure how to approach it.

Maybe, just maybe, I'll ignore it and think about it later. Maybe I'll reflect and figure out that I didn't really learn anything. Maybe there are some events so bizarre and conflicting that you can't learn anything from them. It seems too confusing for me to sort out right now. I thought that if I put quill to parchment and wrote out my thoughts that I'd have some epiphany and get some paradigm shift about race relations in modern Equestria and how I and my perception of race fits into the grand scheme of things, but I don't really have anything like that.

If you have any advice for how to deal with what I went through today, I'd love to hear it. You've been around for some of the worse moments in Pony history, so I know you've seen how bad ponies can get when they conflict racially. So who is right about Cleansing Day? Is anypony right? Is nopony right? Is either one possible?

There's a lesson to be taken from Cleansing Day. I'm just not sure what that lesson is. Maybe the lesson is that you aren't always going to know the lesson.

I guess I can always think about it more next year. For now, I'd say that I didn't learn anything concrete about myself or how I view the world.

Your faithful student,

Twilight Sparkle.

* * * *

Celestia put the letter down on her bedside table and gave an approving nod. Her student had learned nothing that she was aware of, and for the first time, she was okay with that on the whole. She learned that she didn't always need to learn a lesson. Learning that you didn't need to learn anything may have been a paradox, but she felt that Twilight had really developed by looking at an event that she didn't fully understand and not forcing a learning experience out of it.

Celestia smirked and picked up a book on Ponyville history with her magic. So, let's learn more about this Cleansing Day.

Author's Note

This might seem anti-climactic, but I never really saw this one as going really over the top. It's just all of their perspectives on something like this. No need for it to go towards the destruction of Ponyville.