Evenfall
"It's useless, Twilight," Celestia said. "Pointless."
"I never said it wasn't. I never even said I didn't know it was."
Celestia shook her regal head. "Then why? Why are you still trying?"
"I’m still trying because I don't know if it is useless either. Besides, I must."
The princess sighed. "Can't you see the full picture? I showed it all to you. I showed you everything."
"You should know better than thinking I'll ever listen to your advice. In fact, I think it’s you who is not real."
"Of course I am unreal. I'm just as fake as you, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Luna, Celestia, Granny Smith, or Even. None of us is real."
"You either don't understand, don't want to understand or are pretending not to understand," Twilight responded. "You may think we're only delusions; but whether or not this is the case, you're beneath us. You are not real, not even by my standards."
"'Not even by your standards.' Deep in your heart you already know I'm right, don't you? So, I ask you again: why are you struggling?"
"I'll answer your question if you answer mine. Why do you want to convince me?"
"I must. You know I must, for that's who I am."
"That's my answer to you, as well. Let me ask something else: you say I'm not real. Maybe so, but I feel myself, I see myself. I'm thinking, I experience myself. How can I not be real?"
"You're a shard of imagination, Twilight. Nothing more. A part of someone's subconscious. An idea."
"And if I'm an idea, what defines me?"
"The mind of your creator."
"Exactly." Twilight smiled. Celestia arched an eyebrow; the alicorn herself wasn't sure about who was the cat and who was the mouse anymore. "Do you understand now?"
"I think so."
"I don't have to elaborate. And you know why? Because I think you're..." Twilight giggled. "...you're my shard." She looked around; she could see nothing but the emptiness of the marble hall. "I tire of this place. I'm going back to Ponyville."
***
The cheeky afternoon breeze tousled the lush green grass surrounding the old library tree. The sun shone brightly and only a few fleecy clouds swam lazily through the azure sky. The songs of many cheerful birds filled the air, bees flew from flowers to flowers, grasshoppers were playing happily on the ground like mischievous foals.
Ponyville was empty. With Even at her side, Twilight looked around; apart from them, not one soul occupied the streets. No ponies chatting, working or playing anywhere near, like they used to... if there was ever a time when they used to. The birdsong and the buzzing of the insects only made their eerie absence all the more unsettling.
"I'm home," Twilight said, smiling.
"We're home," Even corrected.
"I was missing my library," Twilight continued, clapping her front hooves together happily.
"We know," Even said.
They didn't take a step towards the library tree.
They sat down on the middle of the street.
They waited.
"What now?" Even asked.
"I'm thinking."
"We do that."
Coming into view from around the street corner, Applejack was now trotting towards them.
"Well howdy there, Twilight and Even! Mighty fine day, ain't it?" She waved her brown hat with a merry smile.
"Yes, it is! How's life?" Twilight asked.
"Jus' perfect, Twilight, jus' perfect! The crop will be right rich if the pegasi keep up the good weather!"
"He was right," Twilight said. "It's not the same. Yes, he was right."
"Unfortunately," Even said.
The revelation hung heavily on the two unicorns' shoulders. Finally, Twilight spoke up. "I have to escape."
"We have to escape," Even corrected.
"Escape what?" Applejack furrowed her eyebrows. "Hey, Twilight, Even, y'all ‘re okay, aren't ya? Ya need help?"
"Stop it, Applejack," Twilight said. "I'm not fooling myself."
Applejack’s body stiffened. With a muffled thump, she pitched sideways onto the muddy street, stiff-legged and unmoving. The friendly smile was still frozen on her face.
"Mine?" Even asked.
"Mine, I think." Twilight answered.
"Well, that was just rude, iffin' ya ask me," Applejack said behind them. "I know y'all study hard and get stressed, but still."
Even and Twilight turned around; sure enough, there was an Applejack, looking at the other one lying in the mud.
"I'm sorry," Twilight said. "I didn't want to offend you."
"Nah, it's all right. We're friends, ain't we?" Applejack smiled. Friendly.
Then she disappeared.
"Yes, that was mine." Even said. "Sorry about that."
"How did she vanish?"
"Honestly? Don't know."
"Of course."
Minutes passed in silence.
"We have to go back to him," Even said finally.
"I know," Twilight sighed. "That's the only way outside. To Ponyville."
Even looked at her. "Are you sure about that?"
"Sure? No, I'm not sure. I still doubt he's the one behind it all. But do I have a better idea?"
"Why did you misunderstand the question? 'Outside' is the point. Are you sure Ponyville's outside?"
Twilight eyes widened. "Are you... are you saying Ponyville is inside?!"
"No. Only that maybe it's inside. Let's go back to him."
"Let's."
***
Even and Twilight looked at each other uncertainly.
"Hi. Name's Even. If you like."
"That'll do," Twilight answered. "Now, this is my library. We're on the upper floor, this is my bedroom –"
"We know. We know everything about the library."
"Ah. Of course you do." Twilight cleared her throat. "So... should we write to the princess about this?"
"Guess so. Spike!"
Silence.
"Spike!" Twilight called out as well.
Nothing.
The two unicorns trotted down to the ground level, stepping down into the centre of the library. Twilight opened the main door. On the other side they saw a perfect copy of the library; if not for the lack of themselves, they could have believed the door was replaced with a mirror.
"Should we check?" Even asked.
"Not likely," Twilight answered.
"What about the basement?"
"I doubt he's there."
They checked the basement anyway. It was empty.
***
Princess Celestia landed gracefully before the library's door. As soon as she stepped inside, the seven friends bowed deeply.
"Princess!" Twilight exclaimed joyously. "We're so glad you could came!"
"Think nothing of it, my little ponies," Celestia said, folding her wings and smiling upon her subjects benevolently. "I came as soon as I heard what happened."
"You can say that all right," Applejack nodded. "I had barely enough time to get here from the farm!"
"And I couldn't prepare your 'Welcome to Twilight's Library!’ party! But we can still party, right?" Pinkie asked hopefully, blinking with calculated cuteness.
"That's because you're too slow," Rainbow Dash said, inspecting her wings with a confident grin. "If you were as fast as me, you could have prepared two parties by now!"
"Your Highness, I do trust we didn't cause any inconvenience, did we?" Fluttering her eyelashes, Rarity looked at Celestia. "That would be positively dreadful!"
Fluttershy, hiding behind her lush light pink mane, didn't say anything, simply hoping she would remain unnoticed. Instead, Twilight started to speak again.
"Princess, please, can you help me with Even?"
"Of course." Celestia beckoned with a flare of her wing. "Come to me, my little pony!"
Even stepped close to the alicorn, allowing Celestia to wrap her majestic snow-white wings around her.
"What are you going to do with her, Princess?" Twilight asked.
"Nothing. Do you know who she is?"
She shook her head. "I don't."
"Oh, but I think you do."
"You can't help me." The sudden realization dawned on Twilight. "You can't help me, Princess."
"What do you mean, my faithful student?"
"You can't help me," Twilight repeated. "You’d better leave."
"Well, if you say so." Princess Celestia left.
***
Deep below Canterlot Castle, much deeper down than the abandoned mines, there lay a white marble hall. A grandiose white hall, a hall so vast its blank walls stretched into the infinite. This hall was completely empty, except for a simple stone throne in the centre. On this throne, Princess Celestia sat. Before her stood Twilight Sparkle.
"Princess Celestia?" Twilight addressed her.
The princess tilted her head. "Yes, my little pony?"
"How did I get here?"
"You wanted to be here, didn't you?"
"Maybe. I don't know. I wanted answers."
"And answers I have," Celestia said. "But do you need these answers? You already know everything about Even. You have examined what happened at the library well. What more do you want to know?"
"So, I made the right decision in the library." Twilight tapped her chin absently. "Does this mean the Celestia there wasn't you?"
"Rather, neither she nor me are me."
Twilight nodded. This made sense. "Were she and you the same?"
"Far from it. At least as far as you can get here; which is not very far, I'm afraid."
"Then who are you?" Her tone wasn't accusing, but simply curious.
"You'll see soon enough. Are you ready to go outer?"
"'Outer’?" Twilight repeated.
"From whence you came."
"No! I want answers! I need answers!" She pawed at the floor. "I have to figure everything out!"
"But you can't, Twilight Sparkle. You're struggling in vain."
***
Spike stepped inside the library.
"Uh, hi, Twilight, Even. You need something?"
"Spike! There you are!" Twilight said. The two unicorns trotted to him. "Take a letter, please!"
"All right." Spike pulled out a quill and a parchment from out of nowhere. "What about?"
"I must ask the princess to visit the library." Starting to organize, Twilight felt herself in control again. “Even, I need you to go and gather our friends. Can you do that?"
"It’s probably possible. We'll see." Even trotted out.
"Interesting," Twilight muttered as she saw that this time, Ponyville was outside the library's door. "Should I have expected that?"
***
Twilight and Even looked around. Ponyville. Is this it real this time?
It appeared so. The market was full with the colorful hustling and bustling of ponies, though neither of them could locate any of their friends. The sound of indistinguishable gossip, interlaced with occasional laughter and the shouting of the vendors offering their wares filled the air. A ball rolled through the market square before them, some foal chasing after it. Twilight was carefully examining a ladybug; Even was scrutinizing a pebble.
It all looked real. Existing. Factual.
"Well," Even asked, "what do we think?"
"Strawberries!" a merchant yelled. "Fresh strawberries here! Get your strawberries right now, right here!"
"I'm not sure." Twilight shook her head. In fact, she wasn't even sure if she would ever be sure again.
"Excuse me," a lime-green mare called, "I'm trying to pass here..."
"Sorry." Twilight stepped aside.
"Well, there's only one way now," Even said. "To the library?"
"To the library." Twilight nodded, still looking at a cheerfully chatting couple of ponies.
The library tree wasn't far from the market, and they both knew the way perfectly. At first glance it seemed there was nothing extraordinary about it. Both of them knew, however, that this didn't necessarily mean anything.
Even stepped to the threshold, her horn glowing. "Shall we?" she asked.
"After you," Twilight answered, winking at her. Even opened the door, and they both entered.
The library was a mess – books lying on the floor, the tables tipped over, the rug tossed aside. Oddly enough, their first impression was not that there had been a fight here; instead, they felt like someone had been searching desperately for something or somepony here.
"Looks like Spike hasn't been doing his job lately," Twilight said. "At least I hope he's all right and this clutter is nothing but the result of him slacking. I'm afraid that would be too much to ask, wouldn't it?"
"Probably." Even sighed. "Let's find him before it gets worse."
"Spike!" Twilight shouted. "Spike! It's me, Twilight! I'm home!"
The ponies immediately heard the noise of clawed feet running up the basement stairs.
"Twilight! Even! There you are! I'm so glad you're okay!" Spike skipped up the steps in pairs. "Where were you? I was so worried!"
"It's okay, Spike." Even smiled. "We're home now. That's all that matters."
"You gotta tell me sometime," Spike said, running to Twilight and hugging her. "You can't imagine how afraid I was after you disappeared without a word!"
"Even, you talked to Spike." Twilight hung her head abjectly.
"Yes," Even answered. "And we know what that means."
Twilight sighed. "Spike, would you please prepare dinner for us? I'm starving."
"But I'm cooking it right now!"
Twilight and Even looked at each other. "Then come here, please."
"Can't. Soup will boil over!"
"Never mind the soup," Even said. "Just come here."
"You said you're hungry!"
"Spike, please, we need you to do this!"
Spike crossed his arms. "All right, but don't blame me when you can't eat your soup!"
Another Spike walked in from the kitchen, this one wearing an apron and a chef's hat. "Well?" he asked.
"Which one is yours?" Twilight asked.
"Not sure," Even answered. "Try both."
Twilight and Even closed their eyes and concentrated. Both Spikes stiffened, then vanished into thin air.
"Ah, so that's the trick," Twilight said with a small smile. "Are we going back?"
"We must."
"Is it actually farther in or out?"
"Do you expect a real answer?"
"I guess not."
***
"I'm not struggling in vain. I’ve already realized what's wrong."
"You just said you need answers and that you have to figure everything out. You seem inconsistent for somepony who likes scientific methods so much."
"I've figured out what's wrong with Even, but that doesn't mean I know everything yet."
Celestia let a small smile creep upon her face. "Then please, enlighten me, Twilight. What's wrong with Even?"
"She's –" Twilight hesitated. "She's not real."
"Thank you, Twilight. This is exactly the direction I'd hoped to steer the conversation." She paused for a moment. "Do you know anypony else who isn't real?"
"Princess Celestia," Twilight answered. "The Princess Celestia who visited me in the library. She already knew that I know who Even is. She didn't even ask anything. That wasn't scientifically possible."
Celestia seemed entertained. Happy, even. "I thought the princess is all-knowing. Surely, knowing your theories about Even isn't an impressible feat for her, much less proof of her... unreality."
"The whole event... the princess herself popping in the library... and then her abrupt departure... everything about her. I just can't put the pieces together. She can't be real."
"Interesting. Tell me, Twilight Sparkle, can I be real?"
"You said neither you nor the Celestia in the library was the real Celestia," Twilight answered immediately. "The Celestia in the library wasn't real, and so you aren't, either. Actually, the fact that we're having this conversion right now is proof that you aren't the real princess; she'd never act like you. I think you are an... illusion too."
"An illusion," the princess echoed with barely noticeable sarcasm. "Do you know anypony who'd cast illusions to deceive you for any reason?"
"I don't. But it's still the best explanation I can find." Twilight narrowed her eyes. "Unless, of course, you can give me a better one."
"I can." Celestia's smile was almost motherly. "You see, I'm Discord."
"Discord," Twilight repeated cautiously, neither believing nor denying the claim.
"You don't have to accept it right now; you'll see later. But first, let me remind you of your first question. How did you get here?"
"I wanted answers. I wanted answers, and the next thing I knew was that I was here."
"Exactly. There are a couple of explanations for this – being the expert magic user you are, maybe you used some teleportation spell unconsciously –"
"That's highly unlikely," Twilight interrupted. "And by 'unlikely,' I mean 'impossible.' Magic doesn't work that way."
"Well then, maybe I really am Discord, who granted your wish with his reality-warping powers."
"That is a possible, though improbable account," Twilight said. "I still think there's a simpler explanation."
"I have the simplest: this is all a dream. Problem solved, hmm?"
"If so, it's quite a long dream. One I can't wake up from."
"Have you tried?" Celestia asked.
"I have. I couldn't. But it's still by far the most believable explanation."
"Or maybe," the princess sat back, "maybe you're crazy. Maybe none of this is happening in reality; maybe your body is in an asylum, and we're only in your head."
Twilight didn't answer for a long time.
***
The white hall reappeared.
"I couldn't," Twilight said, almost surprised. "I couldn't go back to Ponyville."
Celestia shook her head. "You're going to try again, aren't you, Twilight?"
"Yes, I am."
Celestia sighed.
The white hall disappeared.
***
"That... is possible," Twilight said finally. "It's technically possible. I'd still prefer the dream version, though."
"Sadly, my dear Twilight, reality doesn't care about your preferences. Reality..."
The word echoed heavily between them. Twilight sat on her haunches, silently gazing at the floor. After a long, soft pause, Celestia started to speak again. "I think you're ready to glance at the whole picture. I know I'm Discord, and probably you know it too, but listen to me, because sometimes you need Discord to tell you the truth."
"You're not necessarily Discord," Twilight countered. "Don't take me for a fool. You could be a changeling, you could be an illusion, you could even be the princess herself trying to test me. I'm listening to you, but I'm taking your words with a grain of salt."
"Very well." The princess nodded. "What I have to say has nothing to do with who I am anyway." Celestia stood up and slowly walked beside Twilight. "You know, Twilight Sparkle, that Even is not real."
"Yes, I do know that," Twilight said, impatience in her voice for the first time. "It wasn't too hard to figure out. She knows everything and exactly everything I do. When I saw her I sensed something was wrong immediately."
"You're smart, Twilight. You quickly realized in the library that Princess Celestia wasn't real either."
"Naturally. That princess also knew everything I did, even my theory about Even, which I hadn't told anypony. It was only logical to draw a parallel between her and Even."
"Also correct. But it's far from being everything. Do let me ask you: if Even and Celestia weren't real, how could you and your friends interact with them?"
"Changelings. Illusions. They're capable of deceiving the observers."
A victorious smile appeared on Celestia's lips. "And tell me, do changelings or illusions know everything you do, Twilight Sparkle?"
Twilight remained silent. She avoided the princess' gaze.
Celestia continued, "No, they don't. And you, too, know what that means. Neither they, nor your friends, who could talk to them, are real."
"So..." Twilight took a deep breath. "Am I crazy? It cannot be a dream. I can't wake up. Am I insane?"
Celestia turned around and walked back to her throne. "No. No, you aren't," she answered, sitting back. "But you aren't real either. None of us is."
Twilight shook her head. "I may be crazy, but you definitely are. This makes no sense."
"Doesn't it? We're all delusions. Puppets of unseen forces. Your will isn't yours; your actions are not your own."
"Are you talking about mind control? I don't feel anypony controlling my actions."
"No, not mind control. I'm talking about imagination, Twilight. You're a prisoner of someone else's imagination. You're inside. We all are. We answer to imaginary forces. We must."
"'We must,'" Twilight repeated. "We must... No. I have to break out. I have to get outside!"
"You can't. You're unreal."
"Then I will die trying."
"It's useless, Twilight," Celestia said. "Pointless."
***
"You're back again," Celestia stated. "You'll return every time until you accept your fate."
"No, I won't. And even if I will, I must keep trying. And you know why?" Twilight threw back her head. "Because you forgot one thing. One simple thing, that makes me right and you wrong."
"Really?" Celestia tilted her head. "And, pray tell, what is this simple trifle that I forgot so foolishly?"
"I doubt I have to tell you. Do I, Twilight?" She smirked.
"Excuse me? I thought I made it clear that I'm Discord. But, for all I care, you can call me 'Twilight' if you want. Or 'Celestia', for that matter."
"No, no." Twilight stepped closer. "You know it too. We know it. Because you're me, right? We're inside, but we're inside my imagination! That means we're both me. You're just a part of my subconscious."
Celestia stifled a giggle. "Interesting, but don't you think your logic is flawed? I spent all my time trying to convince you you're wrong. If I really am you, why would I do that? Why would I oppose you? Shouldn't I aid you with all my power?"
Twilight's smile didn't waver. "I expected this retort. But, you know, 'Discord' – or should I say, 'me' – everypony doubts in themselves. The most confident pony I know, Rainbow Dash, became a nervous wreck when she had to win the Best Young Flyer Competition. And what better form could my self-doubt assume than Discord's?"
Celestia sat back. She didn't look shaken. "So, you yourself just admitted we're inside your imagination. Doesn't this only provide further proof of my point? You're not real, Twilight Sparkle. Just try to remember your life. Your memory is nothing but a cluttered mess of chaotic fragments of events. You can't think chronologically... And he who can't navigate in his own mind is naught but a shard of imagination. Face it, Twilight: you're not real."
"Ah, but I am." Twilight started to trot in circles. "You see, the way I see – and, since you're actually me, I should say we both see – existence, there are two options.
"Firstly, I could be real after all. I could be dreaming or insane, but I could be real. In this case I hope the former is true, but either way, 'outside' I am real. I won't waste my breath on explaining this option further.
"And secondly, I could be part of someone else's imagination –"
"That's what I was saying," Celestia interrupted, but Twilight didn't heed her.
"But if I am imaginary, you see, that's the beauty of it: I'm still real. I'm a real idea in someone else's head. If I really am an idea, a concept, then someone invented me and all my characteristics, my personality, my existence. They dreamt me into reality, they dreamt me into somepony who wouldn't give up the fight, and that's why I'm here, fighting for my world: because I must, just as you must oppose me. We were created this way."
"But you don't know if you're crazy, dreaming or imaginary," Celestia insisted.
"The last two times I tried to enter Ponyville I went inside, not outside. I ventured further into my imagination, and those Ponyvilles weren't real. That's why I, and Even, who isn't real either, could interact and even warp their inhabitants to our will. But to decide if the outer Ponyville is real? That's not my job. My job is to return to my real or real imaginary friends."
Celestia huffed. "And how, exactly, are you planning to do that? The last two times you tried weren't exactly a resounding success, I understand."
"Oh, don't worry about that," Twilight answered with a playful wink. "The method is clear to me – defeating my self-doubt. Which, by the way, is what I just did right now."
The white hall disappeared.
***
Twilight opened her eyes. She lay in her soft bed, and felt the morning sun gently warming her, filtering through the blue curtains. Somewhere above her a clock ticked; she didn't have to look up to picture her old clock. Bookcases surrounded the walls, like old friends.
"Welcome home," Even said. She was standing beside the bed. "Good morning, sleepyhead."
"You're still here? That's just great," Twilight muttered, yawning and stretching her legs. "Would you please call Spike?"
"Actually, it would be for the best if you did," Even answered.
"Well, okay." Twilight sat up in her bed. "Spike! Spike!"
They didn't have to wait long for the opening of the bedroom's door.
"Huh, Twilight," Spike said, stepping in without as much as looking at Even, "you're up early today. What would you like for breakfast?"
"Pancakes would do. Spike, tell me, how many ponies are there in this room?"
Spike arched his eyebrows, his claws still on the doorknob. "Is this some kind of joke?"
"No, please, just answer. This is important to me. How many ponies are there in this room?"
Spike shrugged. "...One? Or is Pinkie Pie hiding in a bucket again or something?" Twilight didn't answer. "Huh? What's the punchline?"
"Never mind, I was just sleepy. It's still morning to me!" Twilight chuckled, then turned her gaze to Even, silently mouthing the words ‘What about you?’
"We, or rather, the part of your imagination that's called 'Even,' is still only a delusion," Even answered. "You imagined us, so you're the one who's responsible. We can't part ways, for we are one and the same."
"But you can't interact with others, because we’re outside now, can you?" Twilight asked.
"Uh, Twilight?" Spike scratched his head. "We're indoors, you know. And what's with this 'interaction' thing?"
"Nothing!" Twilight smiled sheepisly. "I just remembered something I, uh, read in a book."
"Figures." Spike smirked.
Twilight returned her gaze to Even.
Who was nowhere. Gone.
Twilight closed her eyes and imagined Spike stiffening. She tried to make him vanish. But when she opened her eyes again, he was still standing before her.
"You should see how heavy your lids are," he said giggling. "You're still dozy! Anyway, I better go and get to work on those pancakes. They won't prepare themselves, you know!" Saying these words, he left Twilight alone with her thoughts.
She lay back and stared at the ceiling. Even was gone.
So, Twilight thought, she'd escaped at least. She was ‘outside’. She could no longer manipulate this world according to her will, and this meant she was no longer a prisoner in her own imagination.
Wait a minute...
She suddenly realized what Spike had said.
"Or is Pinkie Pie hiding in a bucket again or something?"
Pinkie Pie hiding in a bucket. Pinkie Pie jumping out of places where, according to the laws of physics, she couldn't have fitted. Pinkie Pie appearing multiple times simultaneously. Pinkie Pie inside a mirror.
Twilight’s eyes widened. Sure, she wasn’t imprisoned in her own imagination anymore...
Author’s notes:
I’d like to express my thanks for the following people:
-Christopher Nolan and numerous ponyfic authors for providing inspiration,
-Shho13 for the Twilight vector in the cover image,
-Starfall for proofreading and all in all being helpful,
-You, for deeming my writing worthy of your time. I’d be honored if you left your opinion in the comments section!
Best regards: the author
