'Up Yours, So Edgy' - Chapter 2 -
*Knock Knock Knock*
"Hello?! Twilight Sparkle? Are you there?"
As you knock on the door you look around to see if any pony might be around that would trust you enough to tell her where she is
"Seriously? I know you are at least there Spike! Come on and open up!"
Still knocking frantically, you remember what happened earlier with the ponies in the town square
Apparently a pony from that incident must have come to give the news of the 'scary new arrival that spoke to Discord in the town square' to Twilight and Spike, because Spike gasped in surprise and slammed the door in your face when you first knocked
You stop knocking and sit down and think for a bit about the reasoning behind why the ponies would be so scared of you at first sight; it is not like they haven't dealt with new creatures in their village. Haven't they learned from the Zecora incident
As you continue to ponder the reasoning for all of the fear, you hear a rustle come from inside and look over to see a purple dragon looking through it, before noticing you see him and quickly closing the curtain
Now you are seriously annoyed, but decide to try and take a calm reasonable approach; there would be no benefit from scaring a baby dragon of the pony you need help from
You walk over to the window in which you saw Spike look out of and say in a gentle voice while knocking on the window
"It is okay Spike. I am not anybody scary, just a visitor to the village who needs some help. If you could get me Twilight Sparkle, I would very much appreciate it."
After you finish saying that, you sit still listening to see if you can hear him doing anything
Complete silence follows
The silence lasts for a good 30 seconds or so until you hear the sound of Spike whispering, along with the whisper of another individual that you could not identify through the glass
Another idea hatches while you wait for the voices to finish conversing
"You know, I heard that this tree is actually a library. Oh how I would love to be able to read all of the different stories written by great pony authors and converse with an educated pony about interpretations that could be made of the texts or about the actual content of the books."
You sit in silence for another 30 seconds or so again, until you hear the front door start to open
Feeling excited you start to rush over to the now cracked open door
As you are about to reach the door, it slams shut and you hear Spike yell "ARE YOU CRAZY?"
You sit there slightly awestruck and betrayed, thinking for sure you finally coerced your way in to finally start your adventure in the magical land of Equestria, but instead got a door slammed in your face
Standing in front of the door motionless, you hear the sound of Twilight speaking behind the door
"Sorry Spike, but we don't know if it is dangerous or not. We should give it a chance, like we did with Zecora. Not all unknown things are bad."
Spike immediately rebuts in a maddened pleaing tone
"It is BECAUSE we don't if it is dangerous or not that I don't want to take that chance. Twilight, the last thing I would want is for you to get hurt."
You hear a third voice interject, which after listening to the first few words you identify to be Applejack
"He's right now sugarcube, Twilight we don't know what that thing is or what it is capable of. Fir' all we know it could be something as dangerous as a changelin' or draconicus."
You feel it is your time to interject from outside the door, because leaving speculation to vouch for what type of person you are doesn't sit well with you
"Hey Twilight, Applejack, and Spike. I am not somebody dangerous or terrifying. I am just an average old human... ape-thing to you guys, and I swear that if you can let me into the library I can prove that I am not a threat. I am not anything like Discord and I sure won't do the sorts of things Chrysalis did. All I want is to prove that I am not a threat so that I can go on adventures with you and the other elements of Harmony."
You continue to stand in front of the door in silence after making your plea to the three you know are in there, if not more ponies you haven't heard from yet
After waiting in silence for what seems to be an eternity you are about to speak up again, but Twilight's voice cuts you off
"I don't know what or who you are. I will send a letter to the princess, but until either she sends back that you are not a threat or until we have all six of the elements together then I can't let you in."
While you are quite angry, you understand their caution against an unknown creature
"I understand Twilight. I will be honest, I don't know where I will stay for the night, but thank you for hearing out my plea. I wish to hear back from you as soon as I can."
You start to walk away while you hear something which sounds like the three ponies arguing, with Applejack's voice sounding angry and scared, Spike's sounding just plain manic, and Twilight's voice sounding assertive but obviously worried
While you do feel bad for creating more problems for the Alicorn Princess, it is kinda necessary due to the fact you have been dumped in the middle of nowhere with nothing but your work clothes on your back
In hindsight, you should have asked Discord if you could bring some items of yours from your world to this one
You reach into your pocket and pull out a black handled flip-out knife you bought from a pawn shop a few weeks back that you always kept on you
"Ah... At least I still have you trusty pocket knife."
You admire the craftsmanship of the knife that got you to buy it before you put it back in your pocket
As the day goes on you continue to go around the town trying to find any pony that would be willing to hear and help you out
The only pony who didn't immediately run away when you approached was the background pony Lyra, who was obviously too fascinated by your digits to run, giving you enough time to get close and try and talk to her
But sadly that didn't work either; when you uttered your first word she snapped out of her trance and bolted, and by that time you were too tired and hungry to try and chase after her
The sun was setting and you were without a place to stay and had no food to eat
Deciding that there was nothing else you could do, you decided to go back to the library to see if Twilight had changed her mind and would let you in, which you were willing to beg because you had no food or shelter for the night and did not want the first night of your new life to be spent alone, cold, and hungry
As you walk up to the tree-library you see a plate of flowers and hay on the ground with a note pasted on the wall above it
You kneel down and tear the letter off of the wall, using the light from the dimming sun to read it
The letter reads:
'Dear Unknown Creature from earlier,
I have sent off a message to Princess Celestia informing her of you and your presence. I did my research around Ponyville and got multiple witness accounts of what has happened and what you have been doing today. I have not spared any details in describing what I have learned of you and what you have done so far in Ponyville. The princess sent a letter back saying not to allow you shelter in the library, nor in any of my friends' houses. While I cannot say I do not feel bad for you and your circumstances, I will follow Celestia's advice and have advised all of the ponies in Ponyville to stay away from you until all matters have been sorted out and Celestia allows it. Provided under the letter is some nourishment so that you do not go hungry for the night. Please accept my dearest apologies and I do hope that we will come to a peaceful understanding of one another soon enough.
Yours truly,
Princess Twilight Sparkle'
You continue kneeling there while holding the letter in one hand and forehead palming with the other
You are completely astonished by the fact that Celestia would actually give an order to her subjects to refuse a creature in need shelter
"Damn it Molestia, you have to go and be a dick to me before we even get acquainted. I swear, I am totally gonna fuck your sister right in front of you for that..."
You look down at the inedible greens and hay on a plate right below you then fall on your ass and give a huge sigh
While your stomach continues complaining that it needs food, you can't just give it anything that someone deems to be "nourishment". Twilight obviously doesn't know anything about your eating habits and what can be dictated as nourishing to you
After sitting on your ass you look up at the sky and try to speak to Discord
"Yo. Discord, if you are there. I am extremely hungry, mind conjuring up some grub for me?"
After a few moments, the pink clouds from earlier appear again and show a big 'X' mark in the sky
You sit there annoyed and groan at the fact that Discord apparently has the power to send you into an alternate universe, but doesn't have the power or willingness to conjure you up some food
"Hell, I could even go for one of those cotton candy clouds right now. Come on man! I don't know how it is for immortal chaos gods, but I kinda need to eat to live."
Nothing changes in the sky with the giant 'X'. After a minute or two of just sitting there, hoping for a response that would include a comfy bed and a nice cooked dinner, you finally look back up and try for a different request
"Hey Discord, if you can't conjure me food, mind at least pointing me in the direction of where I can find some myself?"
Immediately after finishing your sentence, the cotton candy clouds seem to transform into a large multi-shaded blue moving cloud
The cloud starts moving towards you at an incredible speed
"Holy shit... Is this gonna be good or bad?"
As the cloud approaches you start to see that it is not actually a cloud but a bunch of blue balls with black specks on the top of them
You start to run away screaming
"OH SHIT! THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR MAN!"
The blue balls follow you at an incredible pace and catch up to you in no time
They surround you and start swirling around you as you panic flip out
"NO SERIOUSLY? THE FUCK IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW?!"
The sound of Discord laughing in Soprano surrounds you and makes you want to scream, if you could even breath properly
The air pressure the blue balls swirling around you starts to lift you off of the ground
You are flipping out while being thrown around in mid-air, obviously being carried off to someplace
After a good 5 minutes or so of intense wind pressure against your body making your feel like you are in an extreme wind tunnel, you finally fall onto the ground and the wind around you normalizes while many of the blue balls disperse
You sit there twitching and startled, unable to scream still, but now because of the fact you are too scared to move or speak
As you slowly start to regain your sense of self and normality, only a few laughing balls remain around you
You start to do mini-screams and gasps just to try and get out the need to scream you had from earlier which you never satisfied
Three laughing blue balls, which you can now identify to be blue parasprites with top hats, circle your head and say in a high pitched John De Lancie voices
"You need to eat yes you do, but will you eat living food? To stay alive you must break a pony taboo, and eat the friends of a potential friend for you."
As they disperse, all giving the most annoying high pitched laugh you have ever heard in your entire life, you find your balance and slowly stand up to look around to see you are in a field at the edge of a forest
*Growl~*
Your stomach is still crying for nourishment and you are feeling weaker than before after that unwanted ride
"My god... Discord, I don't know what the fuck you meant to do by having all that happen to me, but I swear to god you didn't help at all."
You start walking away from the forest, dusting yourself off, and go towards the field and see a chicken walking towards your direction, randomly pecking around
The cute looking pastel colored chicken from this world makes you give a little "~dawwww" before you head over to try and pet it
The chicken doesn't seem to notice you while you are approaching, either that or does not have the fear of unknown potential threats that normal chickens in your world have
*Growl~*
Your stomach starts to growl again as you approach the chicken
'Ah fuck. I seriously need something to eat' you think
As you are about to lean down and pet the chicken, like Ed, you suddenly realize 'Hang on, this chicken isn't just absolutely adorable, it is probably absolutely delicious and nutritious'
You start to remember back of the times you went to visit your Asian relatives and how they butchered chickens at their own house/mini-barn area to eat fresh chicken whenever
Suddenly your mouth waters and the only thing that you can think of is turning this adorable little bite sized chicken into a tasty little bite sized chicken snack
You start contemplating while still slowly walking up to the chicken for how you could kill it, you could try and snap its neck, but you fear it would try and bite you which would lead in unnecessary injury. You could try and stomp on it, but that would probably ruin the meat and lead to an unnecessarily slow death for the poor thing; you wanted to eat it, but not make it suffer
As you are thinking of ways to kill it, the chicken finally notices you sneaking up on it and starts to book it in the other direction while clucking loudly
You drop all planning and just start running at it full speed, determined not to let your dinner get away from you
With your much longer legs and adrenaline pumping, it takes you only about 10 seconds to close the distance and catch up to the chicken
You tackle the chicken and start holding onto it for dear life as it squirms around and starts giving off an ungodly chicken scream
You try to snap its neck, but it is twisting around and struggling too much to get a grasp on it with your free hand
Suddenly, you remember the one item that was brought with you into this land of ponies and easy-to-catch chickens; your pocket knife
Immediately you grasp the chicken as hard as you can with your left arm the chicken so to free up your right arm to grab the knife out of your pocket
As the chicken screeches and struggles, you whip out your pocket knife's blade and scream to the chicken
"I'M SORRY MY FEATHERED FRIEND!"
The chicken stops screeching and starts giving a disgusting gurgle as you stab sidewards into its throat and carve outwards to put an end to the chicken's short life
As you sit there, shirt stained and arm covered in blood, you start twitching for a few moments out of the fact you killed an innocent creature with your own hands so brutally
You sit there for a few moments silently, then start to laugh quietly as the stress and adrenaline drains from your body
Your reasoning kicks in and starts to tell you that what you have done can't be undone, but it was necessary for survival
To cope with the fear and anxiety that accompanied your first animal slaughter you get up and laugh loudly and triumphantly, as if you have just slain a tiger or some great beast
"Oh! This is brilliant, you shall make the best meal beast. In celebration of your generous gift of your life for mine, I shall name the weapons I will make with your bones after you."
As you laugh loudly and proclaim your victory over nature, you hear a sudden shriek from behind you
"Hellen! No Hellen... No! Please Celestia no!"
You turn around immediately and stop laughing as you see a weeping Fluttershy sobbing over the dead carcass of the chicken you just killed
"No! No! No! Why?!"
She continues to sob and mourn the death of the chicken, seemingly having a mental breakdown
"F-Fluttershy?"
You manage to whimper out
"Fluttershy... Are you alright?"
You reach out to her with your blood covered arm
She shrieks extremely loudly and yells
"NOOOOO!"
Fluttershy runs away at full speed back to the other side of the meadow
The last thing you see of her imprints your mind with a horrifying image you never want to see again: Fluttershy's tear streaked face giving you the saddest and most fear filled look you have ever seen in any creature
You sit there for a second and then flop on your back
"I-I'm sorry..."
You say silently to yourself
The chicken you killed was obviously one of Fluttershy's pets. You killed it, then laughed over its corpse right in front of her
The amount of guilt you feel right now is overwhelming; enough to make you completely lose your appetite
As you lay in place you recall Discord's earlier words
"You need to eat yes you do, but will you eat living food? To stay alive you must break a pony taboo, and eat the friends of a potential friend for you."
That fucker set this up. He could have just given you some food, but he just had to make you do this
You sit there and silently for a few more moments before thinking 'Discord didn't make me do this... I chose to do this, he just gave me the push...'
The feelings of guilt are accompanied by a feeling of just as powerful dread
You know that the ponies didn't trust you, and actually feared you for an unknown reason, as you entered the town, but now you may have just traumatized the kindest pony living in it as a first impression to everypony
The thoughts running through your head start to make you roll around on the ground in mental pain, not wanting to think about it but being forced to not forget
*Growl~*
Your stomach growls once again amongst all of this agonizing torture of worries and guilt
You sit up and look towards the dead chicken
*sigh*
"Well... What is done is done and I need to eat to keep up my strength..."
Coming to terms with your needs and leaving the guilt and dread to drift around your thoughts subconsciously, you go and collect firewood and start a fire like you learned back when you were in the boyscouts; through friction
"Oh my god... This is going to be disgusting."
You say to yourself as you take out your pocket knife and sharpen it on a nearby rock, to get it ready to skin the chicken
Hesitantly, you start to pluck the feathers from 'Hellen', blood coming from the chicken's skin as you rip off the feathers
You are massively disgusted, but become desensitized to it all after a good few minutes
Gutting the chicken was not as hard once you stopped feeling the initial disgust and horror when you plucked all of its feathers off
Once you get done with all of that, you put the chicken on a large rotisserie-like stick and cook it slowly
The disgust you had from earlier is completely gone once you start to smell the delicious cooked flesh of the chicken
Once you get done cooking the chicken you place it on a makeshift plate of stones on top of sticks which your tried your best to blow off of the dirt off of
Your arms, hands, and parts of your torso/legs are still covered in blood, thus you decide after eating the chicken to find some leaves to use as napkins, which does not work very well
After an extremely long night of meeting all of your needs, you decide to go to sleep next to the fire, having nothing for bedding or covers, just a slowly dying fire to keep you warm until you sleep
As you drift off to sleep, getting ready for the day tomorrow you only imagine how you can apologize to Fluttershy
You obviously will need new clothes, because yours kinda have Hellen written all over them, which if Discord doesn't oblige with you will kick him so hard in the balls he will become the disgusting fanon, Eris
As you start to plan how you will deal with everything, the anxiety starts to dull
Sleep overtakes you, a dreamless sleep in a once serene meadow now stained with the blood of an innocent, but delicious, chicken
*TO BE CONTINUED*
'Up Yours, So Edgy' - Chapter 1 -
Another day rises in the glorious republic of 'FuckThisTownAndMyLife'
Be you, a young adult that is supposed to be in college right now, but instead is working more than 40 hours per week to save up for the next semester in the college you decided to transfer to
All alone you wake up on a sheetless bed, feeling the prickles of the ragged cloth against your skin, while a cellphone alarm blares in your ears with the most corny cellphone tone in its default library
"Mmmph... Fuck you alarm clock, I wanna sleep more."
After the alarm cycles a few times on your cellphone, you finally sit up and rub the sleepies out of your eyes
*yaaaaawn*
"Fuckin' fine... If you want me to get up so much then I will..."
You turn off the alarm setting on your phone and get out of bed, with only your underwear on
Brrrr. It is very cold in the room, because you forgot to turn on your heater... again.
You walk over as fast as you can to your clothes basket, grab your work uniform and towel, then walk as fast as you can to the bathroom
Pre-shower ritual of using the toilet, undressing, and looking at yourself in the mirror to see if you hopefully look any better this morning compared to last night
You enter the shower and let the sweet relief of hot shower water warm your entire being and wake you up completely
Look down
"Why hello there lil' guy. So you know the drill by now, you stand at attention while I teach you how much a man can love himself."
Your great national flagpole is erect and ready to serve his country proudly. As soon as you get the conditioner, you commence beating him harder than the Spetsnaz were beaten during their special training; can't have your little soldier lose to any Commie scum
As you are jerking it, you realize you just can't get off without thinking of HUUUURRRRSES or DOGES; you want to change the zoophiliac part of you but you just can't... I mean a man likes what a man likes
Your member immediately goes numb and starts to go a bit limp as your mind wanders past the initial porn thoughts and more onto work
Oh fuck! Not today you don't!
"I-It's not doing it! The enemy is advancing upon our territory, but my gun is jammed! It won't fucking fire!"
A picture of Futashy fucking your ass pops into your mind
THERE WE ARE
You immediately release all over the shower floor, marking your territory so that bitches know who is king of this shower
"Ah fuck... Better clean that up..."
You pour a mixture of soap, bodywash, and shampoo on the shower floor and wash your patriotism away and then immediately go back to washing yourself
Once the shower is done and you feel like you can take on the world, you go back to your computer and waste time on random sites and /mlp/ until the time comes where you have to work
As your time to go back to the hell hole known as work approaches, you hear an eerily familiar voice echoing from seemingly everywhere
"Nice home you got here, by the way your method of washing your shower is quite unsatisfactory, I can smell it from here"
Wait a second, I know this fucking voice
"John De Lancie? Is that you? Are you God?"
The thought of one of your favorite voice actors/actors being God and watching you jerk off both arouses and creeps you out
"I will be completely honest, I do not know if want."
The voice just breaks out into an uncontrollable laughter
"Try again Anon. Surely in this world I am considered a fictional character voiced by John, but that is not who I am"
"Ummm... Q?"
"Oh for Celestia's-sake."
As the voice ends his sentence you feel a tap on your shoulder and a large shadow looms over you
You immediately turn around to see a huge, pastel colored, 2-Dimensional seeming draconicus face smiling with half lidded eyes immediately in your face
"You are not a very intelligent human are you?"
With a face so close to you, your habit of fucking with people still deeply ingrained in your habits from High School, and your complete mind-fuck of what is currently going on you take the following actions: stare at the draconicus completely blank minded for a second, give him a quick peck on the lip, and turn around and immediately "Nope."
Though you can't see the draconicus behind you he is obviously frozen, probably from the disbelief in how you handled his sudden appearance
You pinch yourself on the cheek and turn around before seeing the draconicus again, giving a slightly different half lidded smile to you than he originally had on
"So. I am guessing you are Discord."
The draconicus gives a silly and over exaggerated bow before looking back up to you with a huge goofy smile
"The one and only."
You continue to look at him with the only thing going around in your head being the words 'fuck' and 'what' swirling in your head
"And I am guessing I am not dreaming."
Discord walks over to you, towering over your sitting position before grabbing your shoulder and lifting you up
All of the sudden your ear feels extremely wet and disgusting, you look to your side to see a mini-Discord on your shoulder with a huge finger in your ear giving you the nastiest feeling wet willy you have felt in your entire life
"Well I don't know, if you are then you have the weirdest and most real feeling dreams."
After silently cringing you look at the giant draconicus holding you in the air with only two hands on your shoulders and say
"Well, I am not sure if I am terrified or filled with extreme joy, so I will let you decide for me. Why are you here? And more important, HOW ARE YOU HERE?"
Discord immediately breaks into a laughing fit when you finally showed an extreme emotion during that last sentence
You all of the sudden teleport onto your bed. A few seconds after you hit the mattress, everything around you shifts into a demented version of what it was; either you become much smaller or everything else becomes much larger, the walls turn purple and start shifting patterns, colors get reversed on random objects in no particular order forcing your OCD to hurt immensely, and a giant Discord pops up from the edge of your mattress and looks down at you
"Oh Anon. You are a lucky one, I have been observing you for quite a while. I find you to be the most amusing human I have observed thus far. The fact you live in such a drab environment and are forced to do the same thing day in and day out really does not please me though. You have so much potential for so much fun, but you are forced to follow such menial tasks and abide by such annoying strict codes. I have decided that I want to free you of the burden of your life and responsibilities here and give you a new life in a land you are very familiar with, a land that can help nurture and grow your 'Oh So Fun' nature I have found within you. Oh, and to answer HOW I am here, no dimension is without its disharmony and discord."
You look at the huge snake/dragon/pony/goat/etc. thing and give him a look as if you are about to unwrap an extremely large present on Christmas day
"Are you sending me to the fictional land of Equestria?"
Discord looks up and laughs for a few moments, disappears and his voice is spread around again
"So you aren't as dumb as I was thinking you were. Yes, I am going to send you to Equestria, Ponyville to be exact. You can start up a new life there and do practically whatever you want. As an added bonus, you shall have my protection for the first few days, but then you are on your own."
You feel like screaming in joy to this turn of events, but then remember your loved ones
"But what about my life here? I will be completely honest, I will miss my family and friends and I am sure my mother's heart would be broken by my sudden disappearance."
"Oh Anon, you should know that life is full of sacrifices. If you want to go to the dreamland you have desperately seeked for so long, a price must be payed. I will erase the memory of your family and friends, your records, and any imprint on this world that you may have left so that it will be as if you never existed here. Your memories will stay though, because I want you in your current natural state when I send you off to Equestria. In return you get to leave your boring and mundane life behind you. You can have adventures and do all sorts of things you could never do here. Sound like a deal, Anon?"
You sit there in silence for a minute or two while thinking on your choice. On one hand, you don't want to leave everyone you have ever loved behind and you know that you are terrified of huge changes like this without a familiar face there to help comfort you. On the other hand, your life could be changed forever in a positive way and you could finally live happily in a land that will accept you for who you are. Also it will be legal to have 'dat plot while you are there.
After waiting a few minutes in a distorted version of your bedroom, you look up at the pudding covered ceiling and say
"It is a deal. BUT!... Only if you send me to Ponyville around the events of the seasons I have finished watching; season 3."
Discord's laugh can be heard echoing the entire massive and ever-changing room
"Oh Anon, because no more has been written or broadcasted yet, that is actually the timeline I am coming from to you with, so that should not be a problem."
A feeling of dread mixed with excitement comes over you
"Then let's get going to that technicolor pony land. I don't want to go to work today anyways."
In a mocking voice you hear Discord chuckle slightly and say
"Oh, but Anon. You already are in Equestria."
Immediately the walls around your room fall over and disappear, the ceiling explodes into miniature flying frogs and rains down black and white melting flowers which seep into the ground, and you are not sitting on your massive version of a bed anymore but right in the middle of a town square on a patch of grass
You look around for a second to take in the sight of a cartoony colored world, in which you see a bunch of frozen-in-place ponies staring at you, all obviously interrupted from their daily happenings to stare at the sudden creature that appeared in their town
Still trying to take in all of what is currently happening, you continue to look around for a few seconds, then decide to try and introduce yourself to the inhabitants of the land you just invaded
"Umm.. Hi."
As soon as you speak, all of the ponies immediately start screaming and scramble around in panic, getting inside of straw-roofed houses and hiding behind various large objects far away from you
You sit there in silence as you see a crying filly get dragged away by her mother as she wets the ground under her, obviously extremely scared of both you and the reaction everypony had of you
Silence emanates from the town around you as you continue to sit in the middle of the town silently
You get up and brush yourself off and start to look around the town to confirm you are at where you think you are
"Yep... So that just happened."
You immediately start yelling around
"Umm.. Hello?! I am not a monster or anything, I mean no harm."
The town does not respond at all as you continue to shout the same line a few times at them, trying to get a proper guide to how to start in this new world
You don't notice one of the ponies, a purple Earth pony with 3 flowers smiling for a cutie mark, who was originally scared off by your sudden appearance start to approach you cautiously
'Well, rejected right from the get go. This is gonna be a real pain in the ass to try and sort out ain't it?' you think as you flop onto your back and look up at the sky
"DISCORD! IF YOU ARE THERE, A LITTLE HELP WOULD BE APPRECIATED FOR GETTING STARTED HERE!"
As the purple pony hears you screaming to Discord, she immediately runs off again, this time for good reason; you were screaming to the bringer of mischief and disharmony to help you after all
You sit up and turn around to see the pony running off, being able to recognize her from her cutie mark you scream to her
"CHEERILIE! IT IS OKAY! I AM NOT A THREAT! COME BACK HERE!"
As you scream the purple pony's name she looks back at you while running for a second, then picks up the pace, scared even further that a random creature that appeared, that was speaking to Discord, somehow knew her name and wanted to get a hold of her
"Fucking... Le sigh."
You exclaim your sigh audibly trying to be as sarcastic as possible with the "Le"
As soon as you do the ironic sighing noise you fall onto your back and look back up in the sky to see a big arrow made of pink looking clouds in the sky pointing behind where you were initially sitting
You sit up again and look towards where the arrow in the sky is pointing to see a giant tree with windows
"Oh my god... That is a fucking wonderful idea Discord. If anyone can help me get started around here, it would be Purplesmart."
You jump up onto your feet like your brother used to do, by rolling on your back backwards then flipping forward onto your feet, making you feel like a total ninja
Once you get on your feet you look around to see if any of the ponies from before had the balls to come out and give you the greeting you feel you so rightly deserve
Nope.jpg
"Fuckin' fine... All of you stay inside your houses and shit. I will go and get the pony you all most respect that lives in this town to vouch for me. Then you will all have to trust me, lest you want to get stuck in purplesmart's dungeon of experimentation!"
You start walking towards the giant tree library, extremely excited to see the first of all of the ponies you will soon make best friends with
*TO BE CONTINUED*
